Many of us are experts in self-criticism, beating ourselves down. Guilt is our default emotion when we experience humanity, aka …making mistakes.
Self compassion is about extending feelings of kindness & understanding to ourselves when we face failure, hardships and uncertainty. Has an element of wanting the best for yourself.
We can be compassionate with ourselves even when we recognize that we have some not good serving thoughts."
I.e I am aware that I am thinking that I should have figured this out already, and that is okay “I have figured out other situations before, and I know that I will get through it!”
We feel the effect of the emotion of compassion, we allow humanness. Going through tragedies is a human thing. We embrace that.
Being kind to yourself as you face the unpredictable and uncontrollable path of a loved one going through cancer treatments.
Ask yourself, what do I need?
How can I support myself in this challenging situation?
With self compassion, you observe what is going on, then restart, so you have a base on which you can take helpful action.
I.e I feel fearful and that is okay.
I am afraid because of how I think my spouse’s cancer diagnosis will affect him and impact the children.
Fear is an emotion, I can embrace fear and still take action.
Trying to control the trajectory of the disease is mentally exhausting because it is outside your control circle.
Because you are human, sometimes you feel annoyed by things that are outside your control. Ask yourself whether getting annoyed will give you the outcome you want, it will quickly bring you back to compassion.
The more you practice non judgement of yourself, for how you think or feel, the more you will become nonjudgmental towards other people. I like to think of other people as a different perspective of myself. Because you recognize they are all human, trying to do their best.
Non - judgement starts within us. You understand that others have gone through what you are going through and are facing similar challenges.
Put an end to your debilitating, destructive habit of self negative talk, and create a warm, loving, caring space for yourself. Nothing good comes from self judgement and unkindness.
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