Your spouse’s lashing out has nothing to do with you personally. Let us take a peek in to their brain. The doctor said that the treatments aren’t working. Your spouse is scared and fearful of dying, living you and the children. Maybe you had goals as a family, he is now realizing that he will miss out on achieving those goals. That is why they are angry.
The thoughts that you have about his anger are causing you pain. Not his behavior. You are making this behavior mean something about you. You think that he should behave a certain way, and not say certain things, it is your expectations that are causing you frustration.
Think about it, what do you do when you think he shouldn’t be lashing out? You probably don’t want to be around them, which takes you away from what you actually want - making an intimate connection with your spouse, especially now that things seem to be deeming.
Could you feel compassion for him and say, of course he is scared and fearful? Anytime we come from a fearful space, we come across as angry. When some people are facing their mortality, they get angry.
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