Studies show that our emotions are caused by our thoughts. This is why two people can be in the same situation, but may feel different emotions because they have different thoughts about the same situation.
“If we focus on what's ugly, we attract more ugliness into our thoughts, and then into our emotions, and ultimately into our lives”. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Frustration is an emotion that is brought on by a thought or thoughts that you have.
In this case it may be it is hard to overcome the harsh comments and brush them off. We can’t change the event - “spouse’s anger outbursts” but we can change the way we feel about his out bursts.
You can approach the situation with curiosity instead of judgement.
Don’t people get angry when things aren’t going the way they want them to go?
Your spouse is going through life changing cancer treatments, he is probably scared of the long time side effects, or not having control over the trajectory of the disease.
Maybe he is scared of not making - we don’t know.
Thoughts come floating in our brains like snow or rain falling. We can observe them, they are harmless, until we make them something.
Is it unusual for people going through cancer to get angry?
I think that he can be as angry as he wants, as long as you don’t make his outbursts mean anything about you or him.
It is just an observation, no judgement, or story attached. Be gentle and understanding with yourself, accepting and forgiving yourself for all your flaws. You are easy on yourself for you having limitations.
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