Raise Emotionally Stronger Children with Conscious Parents

What if raising emotionally resilient children begins with transforming ourselves first?

In this episode of Parenting Collective Podcast, Conscious Parenting Coach Donna Moala explores the power of mindfulness, emotional awareness, and conscious parenting with special guests Mayra Clay, author of The Boy and the Pink Light, and Marc Krusin.

Mayra and Marc are meditation teachers with The Bright Path Ishayas and independent publishers through BookPath, where they share books and tools designed to support emotional wellbeing, self-awareness, and conscious living.

Together, Donna, Mayra, and Marc discuss how conscious parenting can help parents:

✨ Understand their child’s emotions instead of simply reacting to behaviour

✨ Build stronger emotional connections with their children

✨ Regulate their own nervous system during challenging parenting moments

✨ Break generational patterns and create healthier family relationships

✨ Support children in developing mindfulness, self-awareness, and emotional resilience

Parenting is not about being perfect. It’s about becoming more present, aware, and connected,  learning how our own emotions, beliefs, and reactions influence the way we show up for our children.

Through meditation, mindfulness, and conscious awareness, parents can create a calmer home environment and help children feel safe, understood, and emotionally supported.

If you’re a parent wanting to raise confident, emotionally healthy children while growing alongside them, this conversation is for you.

Follow Mayra Clay:

Website: http://mayraclay.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayrasclayb/

Buy The Book: The Boy and the Pink Light - https://a.co/d/008hUWtF

Follow Marc Krusin

Website:  https://www.marckrusin.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marckrusin

Follow The Bright Path

Website: http://thebrightpath.com

Exercises on The Pink Light Technique: https://www.thebrightpath.com/en/exercises/#pink-light

I would appreciate it greatly if you could please LIKE and FOLLOW this podcast and if you are not following me over on instagram, head over there for all of my top tips and advice around sleep and parenting @parentingcollective.au.  I also offer a free 15 minute phone chat to run through all your questions CLICK here to book your FREE 15 minute chat

Much Love 💞

Donna Moala 
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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello and welcome to this week's episode. Super excited. So on this episode, we are talking about parenting with presence, staying connected to our children, helping them navigate big emotions and the powerful role that we as parents play in modelling our emotional regulation, which is not always easy. So staying calm and conscious, again, not always easy. In the everyday, not always easy, but it's a muscle we need to build. So today I'm joined by the lovely Mayra and Mark all the way from London. They are the beautiful hearts behind Bookpath, and they have this amazing book called The Boy and the Pink Light. And Mayra and Mark are and have been meditation teachers for over 20 years. They are parents to two boys and their creators who are really passionate about helping both children and adults live with more presence, emotional awareness, and connection. So through their children's books, and Mark has got some adults' books, their work with The Bright Path. They support families to slow down, understand their inner world, and bring more mindfulness into everyday life. So I really hope you enjoy this uh conversation as much as we did. And um their books look amazing. So I'd love to hear your feedback, what your thoughts are, purchasing the books, and we'll speak to you next week. Bye. Hello, Mayra and Mark, and welcome to the Parenting Collective podcast. Hello, hello, Donna. How are you today, all the way from England? Is that where you are now? Yes, in London. Yes. London. Is it probably getting warmer there, isn't it, when it gets cooler here? Yes. Yeah, that's worth it.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Theoretically.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Theoretically, yeah. Yeah, I know. I we I lived in London for um for two years back in the day. So I certainly remember that it wasn't often that warm. And when it was in summer, people would take their shirts off and sunbake wherever they could because I get some vitamin D. And then it would rain. So yeah, I get it.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

They're still doing that.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Well, thanks for joining us today. So I'd love to start with your story. So um, can you share a little bit about what you both do and what inspired your passion around helping children, develop emotional well-being, and also, I mean, this is a big question, parents as well. So, but really, you know, the start of your story, like where you sort of came to do this as a passion and a life and a work, everything.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Well, first we we started to meditate and then teaching meditation, I think, more than nearly 25 years ago. Yeah, from that, and then having two boys, and from that, and and for me also personally working in the school as a teaching assistant for a few years in my son's school, primary school, brought me also to write this book, The Boy and the Pink Light. So and then to Marco, so you came with more consciousness books for adults, yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Yeah, yeah, more for I mean, I I think like for me, the thing, yeah. As Mario said, we started meditating a long time ago, and I think gradually, as one meditates, one just becomes more present, more aware, continually more aware of more stuff, right? And on subtler and subtler levels, and and so the more the more you see, the more you also see ways to to help or to interact with the world in a different way, and that's brought us to obviously teaching meditation, but also writing books to inspire others to in the case of like the children's books to sort of help them with their emotional awareness and also parents to understand their children or at least to open that discussion. And with the adults' books that we're writing, it's more about inspiring adults to see that there's another way to live and give them just simple practical tools to simple and practical.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

You just think it's so easy. But the thing is, people live a whole life of, and again, this is no judgment because if it's not presented to you or you're not interested in it, you're not going to look into it. But it all just goes hand in hand meditation, mindfulness, conscious living. And for me, you know, I wasn't, I thought I was a conscious person, I meditated, I do all did all of those things, but you can have all the modalities in the world. But when life gets challenging, or particularly with parenting and your kiddos aren't just doing what they told that they're told to do, and traditional parenting is just not working, and you can't Google anything to help with your kids, then it really comes back on the reflection of ourselves, that conscious awareness, the conscious parenting, the conscious living, and that's meditation, that that's mindfulness. But it's not again blaming a parent for the way their child's reacting, but like you said, it's sounding like the books are to understand yourself a bit when your parent, when your children might be having a bit of trouble, like listening to them rather than just telling them.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

Yes, yeah, yeah, it's also to be like you say, going inwards and also to be the best self you can be. Still making mistakes and um learning and and everything, but it's just to be the best of yourself and and and and when you try and you do what your best to do that reflects in your life. Yeah, and yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

You can't go backwards, is what I say. You can't push toothpaste back into the toothpaste holder, meaning you go conscious, awareness, or of, you know, the thing is that's how I live my life. I live my life as the best version I can. I fail many, often not as many as times as I used to as a parent, but it definitely happens. Um, I move through the failing quicker. And I also know that we're human, living in a human experience, and humanness happens, and we're gonna lose our ever-loving minds sometimes, but we can meditate and be conscious a bit quicker. And then when these things happen in parenting, I talk about rupture and repair, which um I heard from from Dr. Vanessa LePointe, she's an amazing um parent expert too. But um know that rupture is gonna happen. Know there's going to be anger at times, know there's all these emotions, but it's like understanding within as parents to model and um for the children, you know, that the parents just don't lose their minds and not know what to do with that.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

Exactly. You know, so for for me, for me personal, it's been a very interesting journey because I grew up with a very uh with an alcoholic dad and uh workaholic mom. So what you're bringing that stuff with you, but what do you want to change in that? What do you want to feel and to do better and not bringing and and apply the same thing that you grew up? So that's that's that's what we're trying to do. Um and to yeah, and to to tell to check with with parents and and everyone out there that it doesn't have to be the same story.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

It doesn't. And I've found working with so many families and myself is that what I didn't want to do is um is what I ended up doing when things got stressful. So you've got your blueprint, your generational trauma patterns, whatever you want to call it, and we don't want to do that. But then when things get stressful and we're all um got not a square to spare, what comes out? The shitty generational patterns. And it doesn't mean again we're shaming or blaming our parents. Sometimes we can, definitely. Um, but you know, it's it's being aware of like, oh, that's where it comes from. I don't want to do that. How can I regulate myself through meditation, mindfulness, whatever that might be, obviously what the things that you've been doing for a long time, to then be able to go back, repair, model, tell them, look, we don't want to be like that, let's change it. But it takes a lot of word too, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_03 7:52

Yes. Yeah, it's like a game, no, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 7:55

By new. Never ending. There's no end destination except for the last breath on earth, is what I say to people. It's a bit dramatic. But it's not like, oh, I've got to be this best person, I've got to do whatever. It's like up and down, roller coaster. You know, you've when you're a parent, that's the hardest thing. I think when you're not a parent, you don't I'm not saying I shouldn't say this because I am a parent, but it that it definitely puts that mirror up in front of you and pushes you where you've never been pushed before. Because when you before you have children, you can do whatever you like. If you don't like someone and they they tell you they don't like you about something, you just go whatever and you have nothing to do with them. But then, you know, when our children do something that triggers us or not them, but we get triggered or whatever, it's not their fault. Uh, it makes us try, if we can try and be the best version of ourselves to to figure this out to be able to respond for our children, you know, being more conscious. Yes. And aware. Um, how old are your kiddos?

SPEAKER_03 8:51

I think it's uh nearly 17 and a million 13 and a half. Oh, you're in it too.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

You're in it. We talk about that all the time. I have three girls, so they're 21, 18, and 15. I feel like, yeah, I know everyone says that. My poor husband's probably the one that needs to be given a medal. But this is why I do what I do because it didn't work. Traditional, just having a nice family and providing and being nice people wasn't enough. And so nothing was out there that was going to help us with what was happening with our children and parenting. Because once they get to for us and a lot of people, hormones change, you know, school change, all of things, life happens. The old style of traditional parenting doesn't work well. Maybe it does for some people, but it just doesn't. And then then you start having conflict, and yeah. So you can do all the meditation in the world, and if there's still conflict, you know, we've got to get into those triggers. Um, so yes, so I'm sure they're very good boys. Oh and you don't have to worry about anything at all. Um, but they've got parents that can um, you know, teach them how to regulate. Um so a little bit about that too, then. So obviously you're you're in it, your parents, you you're nodding your head a lot because you know what I'm talking about, because we're going through it, um, and obviously having these tools. So many parents today um that I'm working with, and obviously you speak to as well, uh raising children in such a face, fast-paced world. We know that. Um, and it's over it's overwhelming. It's overwhelming for the children, it's overwhelming for the parents. The parents don't have um the support needed to help them with the overwhelm. And it can be as simple as learning how to meditate, learning how to do somatics, learning how to go out and ground yourself on bare feet in the grass. You know, all of these small things I talk about to my clients that people don't even think. They stay in the stressful house trying to get everyone to do everything and it's not working. Then they go to work, probably not as stressed, and then come back to the stress, you know, like it's just constant. So it's like talking to guys like talking to, you know, people like yourself and me spreading that word of like there are circuit breakers, micro-circuit breakers we can do for our parental nervous system for our children, you know, like all of this is really normal. We can't just be all zen and meditate and be relaxed all the time. That's not reality either. But it's like understanding this a bit more, you know, like having books like yourself like people can find that can they can read to their children, because that's a beautiful thing, you know, to be able to not just model it, but to be able to read stories about it, because that's a beautiful thing that we're people have not got enough time to do it that they need to with their reading and stuff like that. Um, so then in regards to that, and obviously we're talking about this quite a lot. Why do you believe the mindfulness and sort of the emotional awareness, the consciousness that we're talking about is such an important skill that we should be trying to support parents to understand to then be able to support their children?

SPEAKER_00 11:55

So I I would say that really uh presence of mind is really the foundation for everything. Without that, there's not really much we can do. We can't really be very useful to the planet because we're not really aware of what's going on in front of us, truly aware. We're we're in here and we're kind of perceiving stuff through a whole bunch of mental structures and filters that we've created through our life experience or whatever. So we're not seeing the reality. But but but if we're present, we're we're much more aware of of what's happened, what's actually happening in the moment, not what we've kind of judged as as happening, but but what's actually happening, and so therefore, how we can react, or or you know, often the reaction will just kind of come through us, right? It'll be self-evident what needs to be done, and that may be you know just uh listening, it may be a hug, it may be a stone word, it may even be raising our voices, it could be it could be anything, there's no formula. Uh, but if we're present, we're much more likely to to know what that what you know the best the best action that we can take in that moment is.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Yeah, that's great. And I I think it's the same thing that I say to everyone about, and again, working with so many parents all the time, with babies, you know, that's a lot of pressure all the time. I actually say to them, be in the now, be in the present, like what's happening this nap? Don't think about what's happening tomorrow and it's not gonna work or whatever. It's like being present now, like stopping, being aware. And the thing is, it's it takes a bit of practice to become present, doesn't it? It's it's not just like we're saying, hey, be present, stay in the now, and they're like, oh, that's gonna come easy. What you don't out of the 10 times you try, 10 times you don't do it, you might get it once, but it's like the more you practice it like a muscle, like I say, building your muscles, then you can pause and you go, okay, someone's really dysregulated here, what's going on, rather than oh, I've got to do this, I've got to go to the next thing, you know, like it's just coming back to now. Yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:57

And I thought uh for for for me also um meditating uh do my meditation is is releasing the stress. So you are releasing constantly that stress that uh life causes um that stress, whatever, you are more light to go home and be less stressful because you are carrying that suitcase that is less heavy. So that's so that's why it's very important also to to to start with ourselves because we are lighter and and I hope we can be a bit lighter and and functionally be more present.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Yeah. Breton and talking about when we're talking about this is the nervous system regulation, you know, we just go back to the biological science stuff. Our amygdala are on fire, you know. I talk about amygdala all the time. Some people have never heard of it, but it's the fight-flight response. You guys would absolutely know about it. Um, but it's trying to calm the fire of the nervous system before you get into the fire. So it's not always just having a calm nervous system and having your tools in the moment. It's like daily, isn't it? Like a little bit of practice to to to for your nervous system. Yes. Um, yes, well, that is very uh very, very true. So a little bit about the book. I want to hear a little bit more about the book. So um tell me about yeah, the concept and the idea and the message to for the children and for parents and what your families might take away from it, what the your concept was when you thought about doing it.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

Yeah, boy, and the pink light is the the pink light is uh an ancient technique. Well, we know about it because of our meditation, and it's a very, very simple technique. And um, together with with our meditation that we do, the pink light helped me to heal also a relationship with my dad. So when I was working in the nursery, I noticed that some children unfortunately they don't have the same privilege of having present parents or more caring parents. I was feeling like, oh my goodness, uh I I need to do something. I would like to do something about it. And as much as you are present and caring in the nursery, my work used to finish in that when they went back to home. So the idea came to with this from that experience in nursery. But at the same time, it is um not just for children, mainly it's for parents, how parents can can um help the like Mar mentioned before, to parents to be aware of the children's when they are feeling sad or angry. Not just for me, I'm probably saying, okay, don't don't cry, don't you don't feel like that. So I wanted to change um something in there um that the parents can be more aware of of their feelings, or they'll listen more. And also for them, for themselves to go inwards um and see, okay, I'm feeling stress also. Um, why I'm feeling stressed. So it's a combination of this pink light and the boy discovering that whatever he's feeling, just go back to his heart because this is a very safe place. Yes. Because obviously, well, for me, it's very important to feel safe here and secure here. And at the moment I feel like that, everything maybe opens, or maybe with a flow.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Um so yeah, that was the main the main reason why it's beautiful, and um I I haven't read it, but I will. Um, but I I'm very interested to to find out about it. But that is about um again, sounds so cliche, but it's no matter what chaos might be going on around you, because I again this is the lipped experience. I still have my beautiful chaos, but I'm okay. Not okay all the time, but it's that pink light within, it's that safeness here, and that's taken 50 years for me to get to that, really, with all the work that I've done on myself and all the different modalities to finally get to a place of like I'm gonna be, it's okay, you know, is a beautiful place to be. And I think if parents can hear that anyone can get there, they really can, no matter what's going on in their life, um, that it takes work. But if you can get that yourself within parents and then be able to support your children to understand that their worlds are going to be a lot less heavier.

SPEAKER_03 18:34

Exactly. And what a beautiful way to have a conversation as a mom or dad, or your son, your daughter, and they see that this is something real and it's okay to talk about feelings, it's okay to talk about stuff, because sometimes maybe the kids in these adults, like my goodness, the best thing, but they see as also vulnerable and vulnerable. That's that's the best thing. I never saw my parents like that, and and what a gift to to to allow them to feel like that too.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

Yeah, and and they're they're going. There's a lot of research that's been done on this, and you would know this, but um, and this is what we talk about the conscious parenting movement, or it's been around, you know, like um I studied with Dr. Shafali, who is the founder of it, not that it's never been around before, but it's all of this combined. It's not permissive, like I say, or gentle, or no boundaries, or no whatever. It's not that. It's being calm, modeling, supporting them to understand that this is how you can be as an adult. Like, you know, it sounds pretty simple, doesn't it? But when we can really connect that to parents to understand it works, then our kids are relaxed, that they can have a big tanty and um you're not going to lose your mind. Like I again have a lived experience of this of a child that was really compliant. We thought, wow, we're the best parents ever. Then one that was gorgeous but was fiery, and then we wanted to fix that fiery behavior, and that destroyed her, right? We didn't mean to do that, but then when we got to parent uh teenage years, she was not connected to us. She was fiery, and that's our fault. And again, it's not blame, shame, or guilt, but there is guilt in there. But a lived experience of changing the way that we live like this. And my husband's not quite in the same book as me, but he's he's done the changing. It works. You know, we've got a very strong-willed, beautiful, amazing 18-year-old who um can have a tantrum, not tantrum, but you know, can show her express her, she's not frightened of us. Uh, we're not trying to shut her down. But when she was younger, we tried to shut it down because we're like, that's loud, like that's bad behavior. But really, it was age-appropriate loudness. And rather than going, oh, you know, it's okay that you're hit. We're not talking about that. We're like, you know, we're educating them, like to know they can't regulate. So we've got to learn how to regulate. So it and the thing is, as you guys are sitting there and doing all that you're doing, you know that this kind of living works. Works for not only humans, adults, humans, adults, parents, but uh inevitably helps our children. You know, and that's obviously why where your passion's from is so deeply. Have you got lots of book concepts up your sleeves still? More books to come out? Or yes, yeah, hopefully.

SPEAKER_03 21:30

Yeah, yeah, then one coming. Well, you've already have one for adults, let's say, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

So, Mark, what are the ones what are the books that um that you're targeting parents or just adults, uh adults or yeah, mainly adults.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

Um, we have another children's book which is about um it's really the the main theme is experiencing things from your for yourself, i.e. rather than taking on concepts and beliefs from other people, it's it's about experiencing it for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

So that's that'll be coming out, I think, in a few months' time. And then other adult books are really one is really a description of what a present life can be. What it means, how it changes stage by stage. Love it as an inspiration more than anything else. And then there are a few exercises included in that as well, just to help people start exploring.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

I love that. Love it, love it. Are we born then for my uh cupboards of books that I just love because it is I and the good old style books, I know we can listen to them and stuff like that, but just the highlighting and the light bulbs and the you know, like it is like I said, it's it's not an end destination, it's like a continual growing, learning, meeting people, and you know, where the way that you're talking and what you're sharing is is through lived experience and you know, this big heart and understanding that this is what life's about. We only get one, possibly. I don't know, maybe that maybe we do get others. Don't know about that.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

But you know, you know, in the meantime we're here, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

Um, but like you were saying, um, Mayra, like it's it's just trying to be the best version of yourself. That's it. No one else, no nothing, just being your best version, and then everything, when things play out, you know that you've done the right thing. And um, I can't keep going to that nervous system regulation stuff. Um, so in regards to your books and people hearing you, and I'll obviously put everything in the show notes, but um, where can people purchase your books and find out more about you and all the things that you do?

SPEAKER_03 23:37

Yes, thank you. Um, well, the book, The Boy and the Pink Line, can be found on my website, mydaclad um.com. Yep. And or on is is there on Amazon? Um yes, oh well, here is um it's an English um water stones, but but yeah, um, you can yeah, uh it'll all be on the show notes anyway.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

You can get the books, which is great. So they can find you and they're like, oh, this is really interesting. Um, and they can find the books. Um uh yeah, so it's been fantastic chatting to you guys today. Really nice to meet you, and um, I will definitely be purchasing the books. Might even talk about it on my Instagram with the post with podcasts. But um, yeah, really lovely meeting you and all that you are doing.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

Thank you, Donna. It's lovely meeting you. Thank you for for this space. Yeah, totally fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 24:29

Have a lovely day.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Great to talk to you. You too.

SPEAKER_03 24:31

Thank you, Dan.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

So if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to leave me a rating and review. I love reading all of your messages. So shoot me a DM over on Instagram. It is parentingcollective.au. I also offer a free 15 minute, no obligation phone chat. If you'd like to book one, head over to my website, www.parentingcollective.com.au, and request one there. So try to remember to be kind to yourself and always know you're doing the best you can every day, no matter what your day is looking like. Until next time, much love.