Heal, Recover, Mature

Wherever there’s a stigma, healing can’t take place.

Stubbornness is a lock which denies access to those who want to help you breakthrough to your healing.

Stubbornness is as witch craft and it denies Christ access. When you deny Christ access, He can not treat your disorder.

Hurt people can’t heal if they don’t open up.

Protecting your hurts is self harm.

Love heals but love must be approachable.

Do you first represent love or correction?

Your relationships with others shouldn’t be based on correction only. True friendship offers counseling in an intimate way because there is a fair exchange via communication with one another.

Pay attention where you have influence and where you don’t.

Ask yourself, do you bring people together or do you tear them a part?

What type of energy do you bring?

Are you a positive or negative person? 

Join us every Wednesday at 9pm on instagram live @pastorpasha 

Come journey with us!  

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Shalom, shalom, shalom. Welcome to the lyricism of life. I'm your host, Apostle Pastapatha, aka the Lyrical Apostle, and I want to welcome you tonight. I encourage you to share this live. Tell someone to tell someone to tell someone else to come and join with us. Come on in. Come on in. We want to welcome you tonight for another powerful show tonight. Great topic. So get someone to come on in to join us tonight. So that we can get right on started. But Yahweh's been blessing. Everything is going great. We're continuing to pray for my niece, Christina. Please keep her up in prayer. I would believe in Yahweh for nothing but his report. So please share and come and journey with us. Come and journey with us. I pray that everyone is doing well. Definitely looking forward to all the answered prayer that Yahweh has been promising. Looking forward to, for one, the doubling effect. Yahweh is great. But pray all of you are well. Hello, hello, hello. Thanks for joining. Thanks for joining. Get some on a journey with us tonight because we have a mighty, mighty, mighty powerful subject that we want to talk about tonight.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

And so let's get right started.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Hey babe.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

Hey babe. How you doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Good. How you doing? Good? Good, good, good, good. Come on, let's get some excitement.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Do you have to come on here and just start every time? No, I'm not starting. I just want to I'm excited. I like to I like to feel power, you know? And so yeah, I'm in. Like I felt downstairs. You were powered up. Let's go. Yeah, let's feel that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

That's important. I was meditating on this. This is deep. I think everybody should listen to this. In a person's life, do you represent, it's gonna be deep. Do you represent love or correction? And I think that's deep because if the first response is always correction, that's not love. That's that's uh a relationship where you're always second because you're always in pupil mode or you're always in student mode. And anyone who just has a relationship out of correction, the love isn't felt. It's very important for the love to be felt. What's even more so, you cannot build a successful ministry through correction. So it's very important for leaders to ask themselves, when people see you, do they first see you, see you as as love or only correction? And if you're only in a person's life for correction, you don't have a real relationship with them. Yeah, yep, that's true. And I think people people need to meditate on that, especially if they're a pastor. If they're a pastor, they they they they have to meditate. What is your real relationship with this person? What is the actual relationship? That's that's key. Or the only time you really speak to the person is in subjects of correction. That will not work in a parenting situation, nor can it work in a marriage. It can't work. It can never work when your whole relationship is always talking about what someone else is doing wrong, or you'll all always have to correct what they're doing. You know, that alone will sap and take away people's zeal, their energy, and their love. Amen. You you know, I believe that love should set the tone. I also believe that regardless of who you are, when you enter that room, that room should change. They should be able to feel your magnetism, your charisma, and your love. That's that's important. You know? So in the old days, you had so many people with a stern face. They were always stern, always serious, you know. That that's a that that that's that's a turnoff. That's that's that's that that pushes people away. So people should remember that is deep because those whom Yahweh loves, he corrects. But Yahweh doesn't build the relationship. The relationship does not begin with correction. The relationship begins with love. The relationship begins, and after that love, it's that mercy and it's that grace, you know, and that's what people need to meditate on, especially when it comes to healing, healing relationships, you know, when it comes to healing relationships and building relationships. But so what's the subject tonight? Won't you talk a little bit more about what you're saying? I think it's deep. It's like I well, this is what I I began with, and I just wrote this. Are you a positive person? And and and what I have to do and what I do do in every situation, especially now that I'm older. Older meaning that I I don't say the wrong way, I just cannot rely on my physical strength. Well, I can't rely on my physical strength because I'm getting in another tier. That being being true, I handle myself differently. Whereas before I believed I could physically defeat whatever, overcome everything, I handle things differently. So I I know what I have control over. I have control over me. So in my interactions, am I a positive person? Because I recognize what I put out is what I'm gonna get back. So it it's it's very important. Am I a positive person? Then I said, okay, if I am a positive person, where am I a positive person and when? Because now you're dealing with power. Because if you if you if you say you're a positive person, then when are you being positive? Where and when, you know? And and from there I said, do you represent love or correction? Do you bring people together or do you push them away? And I'm the type of person, well, I'm a people person. Well, I don't I don't think you could be in the firefold ministry without being a people person. I'm a people person. But in being a people person, I'm not threatened by people. I'm not threatened by their opinion, I'm not threatened by their beliefs, I'm not threatened by what by what they say. But that being true, you have to be honest. Do you push people away or do you bring people together? Because I believe that's that's a product of a person's homebringing, but I also believe it is a product of their relationship at home. So with with with that being true, I have to ask myself, hey, the people that are in my life, the first thing I should not represent is correction. That's not the first thing I should represent. Because if I only represent correction, once again that means there's only teacher student. Teacher student does never really involve into an equal relationship. You know, Yahshua said, I don't call you servant, I call you friends. Because if if I called you servant, you wouldn't know what I was doing. But friends talk freely. So it's constantly judging how am I being perceived, especially if I've been caught to this environment or these people and so forth. And that's why I be I be begin to to ask the the question. Pay attention when you have influence and where you don't. So influence worked both ways. You can have influence in love, and you can also have influence in hate. So it's it's it's very important. But if I only had a relationship of correction with my daughters, like today, I don't I don't believe I corrected my daughters in anything, you know, uh and so forth. The the paramount of my relationships is love, and then recognizing, and this was deep, recognizing sometimes in order to keep that relationship with love, you're gonna have to show mercy and grace because you're gonna have to give that person the time to heal, mature. I'm gonna write this down. He'll mature and recover. Yeah, when I'm writing this down, you start talking.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

I think it's powerful what you're saying. I also think that um it goes hand in hand with, like you said, a relationship, a friendship shouldn't be teacher student, but a friendship should be powerful enough where you and your friend can have dialogue. In other words, if your friend sees something that's happening with you, they they should be able to impart some wisdom, should be able to impart good advice, good counsel without counseling. They should be able to have a free conversation where they a fair exchange could take place and like how do you see this? How do you see this? Well, would you have done things differently? I would have done it this way, or I would have done it this way. And I think that should come across as friendship and not blundering someone or you know, just beating them down something.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

I think also what comes in into play, how much time do you spend with the person?

SPEAKER_01 11:00

So if you don't spend that much time with the person, you know, you have to take that in into consideration.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Because otherwise, if you don't spend that much time with the person, you gotta make sure your relationship with them isn't just correction, rebuke, or from the perspective you're always wrong, you're never right. That's not a healthy relationship, right? Yeah, agree. And that's not a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is where there is a freedom of exchange and so forth and so on. Another thing is love, where love exists, love must be I write this down too, it's powerful, love must be approachable.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

Yes. Love must be approachable.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

That's very important because it doesn't make a difference who's out there, everyone from time to time, you're gonna need to heal. Right. But as you heal, there is a recovering from what hurt you, a recovering from what made you sick, but then you also have to mature where you don't want to end up in that same situation again, especially when you understand it's certain choices that help cement that position, or certain choices that help put that there. And and and and and so forth. And a lot of times people don't know they need a healer. Because it's not until they open up their heart and begin to expound what's on their heart that they can recognize a hurt, a pain or a sickness. And then once they recognize that hurt, that pain in this in the sickness, then it's almost like you have to confront with, hey, this is me. This is really happening. This is really happening. And that's what comes I constantly stress friendship is counseling. Friendship, true friendship is therapy. Because in true friendship, there's gonna be an exchange. But hurt people can't heal if they don't open up. Right. Oh, you can speak.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

I I thought you would keep going. No, I'm right. I'm right.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Yeah. I think I'm always looking at ways. Well, when you love your profession and when you love what you do, you're always looking for ways to do it better. So I'm always looking for better ways to communicate. I'm always looking for better ways to get my message across. And I recognize that I can't do any of that without one people feeling that I'm genuine and so forth, you know. But a lot of times hurt people can't heal if they don't open up. Because what it what it does, it causes them to close in. And in and closing in, it's almost like a dis defensive mechanism where they're trying to protect, but the problem comes in when you are protecting your hurts.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

Right. A lot of times the problem comes in with that, for instance, in marriage. So we were talking about just recently how you never want to have arguments so big that you say something you can't take back. But something that I've learned is that sometimes the biggest argument is in silence. And because when you're silent, or if you and your mate are not talking and you're protecting your hurt, and your mate is walking in the protection of their hurt, then it's like, okay, well, I don't want to say something that I'm gonna regret, so I'm just gonna say anything at all. And then the silence becomes really big. And so then speculation starts to happen. So now you're gonna you're gonna fight a ghost that you believe is happening in your mate's head, or you're gonna fight something you believe they're thinking, and then all of that becomes warfare within itself because there's the silence, it's a thick silence, and it's like if you're not talking, you're still arguing, but just not out loud. And it's like it's like not talking, you're still arguing. Yes, you're still arguing and it's not out loud, but then the argument gets bigger because your imagination it runs away with you, and something you may not might might not even be thinking on. You believe they're thinking that, and so then you begin to fight their thought that they're not even thinking, and it's like all of that is is a form of hurt that you're not dealing with, and you can't heal from that, and so it doesn't change.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

And then once again, hurt, mature, recover, just like in in our marriage, we matured and and and found out if we did not find a way to communicate in our hurt and through our hurt, we weren't gonna we weren't gonna remain together. Right, right. And then you begin to to understand that's constant.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

That's not just one thing. I mean, that's just not one time. That's that's just one to throw that out there. That's not a one-time thing. That's it has to be a constant practice. It's constant.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

There is no healthy love relationship without constantly recovering, constantly healing. Because relationship relationship is always on earth, is always being redefined. In other words, you have to keep it, you have to renew it daily because that's one of the things that that death does. Death forces you to judge the relationship, and it's gonna determine you know when the relationship is powerful, because death can't stop love. Death doesn't stop love. Joshua died, we love him. Right, right. You know, my mom, my dad, my grandparents, and so so forth. And that's another another thing. Relationships die when love dies. That's yes, yes, that's powerful. Because as long as there's love, that relationship is kept alive. Even if the person is not there physically, right? It keeps uh the person alive. And what what I was meditating on, like what we were glorious in on the fact that Jessica Ann is gonna be the first child that gets a degree. When Jessica Ann had more challenges and more difficulties. But the first should be last and the last should be first. But once again, it shows the goodness and the greatness of Yahweh, and that's where it comes in too. I was thinking about your video that you did the other day. When you love your child, you're not gonna allow anyone to try to push your child in an uncomfortable place, environment, or situation, or allow someone to label your child differently because they don't fit into that system, and so forth.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

Because within that, once again, is to heal, recover, and mature, heal, recover, and mature, to heal, recover, and mature. Wow. Yeah, but when you you go back to what you were saying before about how you you model your fatherhood just based on what you wanted as a child, and so in the same right, it's like that too when you think about all of the things you went through in school. We all had people who were not interested in our well-being in school at some point, and there are, you know, we had a little tougher skin, which was like, whatever, you know, as long as you had your friends and you weren't fell and you were good. But all kids are not like that, and every child doesn't have an advocate. And so it's important that you identify the needs of your child before anyone else tries to say what they don't need. And so it's like immediately.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

And it's like what I want to mention that word we told Prophet is Jackie, you know. Did you ride the yellow bus to school? Now that was very good. Everybody, if you're on the bus, you're on the the yellow bus. Because all school buses are yellow. But when you have a negative connotation, then it's like, oh, I rode the big yellow bus, not the small yellow bus. You know. But it's still a yellow bus. But it's still a yellow bus. Right. Uh but when you graduate, no one asks you. What but you wrote? What bus you wrote? And that's where the where the s the stigma comes in and so forth. But wherever there's a stigma, there's no healing. And if you are aware of the stigma, and you're still there, that's not maturity. And where there's no healing, there is no recovery. And that's that's that's that's that's very, very important. So it's very important for me to represent healing and recovery in other people's lives.

SPEAKER_02 22:47

Yes. But that's that's what Christ represents for us, because first of all, you can't get saved with a stigma. If you believe that, you know, oh man, I can't talk about this, I can't confess this, because of how I'm gonna be viewed, how I'm gonna be seen, they're gonna see me as the biggest sinner, and so forth and so on, then you deny yourself the right or you deny yourself the opportunity to receive salvation. And you deny yourself the opportunity to touch Christ because it's like, nah, I'm not, you know, I ain't gonna do that. I I done done too much wrong. I done done too much wrong. And holding yourself back from healing because you believe you don't deserve healing, that's that's a trick of the enemy.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

That's the trick of the enemy.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

So with with me, I w I I want to be approachable so people can can can open up to to all also reveal their hurt and to reveal their their pain.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

That's that's that's important also, you know? Very, very important. And when you incorporate that because let's be for real, when you love someone, you either can make that person healthier or sicker. Especially when you're honest about what level of influence you have. You either can make that person whole or you can make that that person sick. And I think a lot of times people don't want to talk about that when it comes to relationship. And when it comes to relationship, marriage, are you making your mate sick? And then if you are making making your mate sick, how are you making your mate sick? Because it's not like you're putting poison in them, you know, but once again, once you begin to go down that path, you begin to go down the path of where you have influence. There's a scripture that says the power of life and death is in the tongue. But that doesn't mean nothing if you don't have influence with that person. If you're walking down the street and a stranger says something to you, it's like, you don't even know me. But someone you do know, someone you you you you live with, you know, that person, what they say carries weight. So then it's like, hey, what you're saying, is it bringing healing? Will it bring maturity? Will it bring recovery? What what state is it is it is it leaving me in? And I think that's true for our children. I always, I I will never allow my child to leave my presence just feeling broken. You know, I mean there's nothing wrong if you leave Christ's presence broken. Yeah. You know, when you come into his presence, that should that should that should change everything.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

That that if you leave broken after you've been in the presence of Christ, you can't blame him for that.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

Yeah, but also what it also shows once again internalizing it. How powerful is your love? How how powerful it is your love? What does your love produce? You know? But once again, hurt people can be afraid to love because they can view it as if I love more, I'm gonna be hurt more. So that right there will will push them away, you know, and so forth and so on. I come from my mom was a people person, but my mom was very energetic. And just some of you might not like what I'm about to say, she she gave off positive energy, you know. So with with me, it's very important, it's very, very important for me to lose a joy, a peace, a love, a zeal. Because within that, it sets the tone for the for the rest of the rest of the of the room. You know? So again, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

Here's the question. For a person who should be loosing joy, would you say it's possible for someone to lose joy if they are aggravated by something?

SPEAKER_00 28:23

Well, not if they allow the aggravation to overtake them, because they have to make that choice. But for instance, in our relationship, there's something I always say one, it's never my goal to fight, ever. It takes too much energy. But then, even before that, what I do, I tend to meditate what has happened during the day. So if we have a powerful service, powerful worship, powerful ministry, I'm on guard. I'm on guard to make sure nothing negative takes place because I know the enemy wants to take away from the greatness of what took place. So it's very important for the person to be honest about what do you want the end result to be. And I think it that's the whole definition of a vision. In order to bring a vision to pass, excuse me, you have to meditate on what the end result is. What what is the what is the end result? And I think when you deal with a lot of hurt people, insecure people, and they have influence, they try to mold people to protect their insecurities or their fears. Um I I I've never done that because that will produce unhealthy relationships and it will produce unhealthy people.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

I think it's dangerous, honestly. It's dangerous because you put a person at risk of not becoming the fullness of what Yahweh called them to be and doing that. You project on somebody that they should be protecting you, and and you're wrong. I mean, it's like that's kind of putting putting yourself out there to receive a greater judgment for that. Because now you have totally steered their path into the wrong direction just based on your insecurity. You've totally redirected them from the path Yahweh put them on to now being put on the path to protect you. And that's not that's not what Yahweh called for any of us to just, you know, protect someone's insecurity or to protect someone's hatred or to protect someone's bitter root. That's not that's not loving someone, that's actually being manipulated by someone. There's a lot of static. Is your AC on? So I turned mine off and burning up. I'm hearing all this noise.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

I'm like, uh, I guess it's because uh the uh people didn't do what I asked them to do. Okay, they're busy. Yeah.

unknown 31:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

Yeah, but you want me to get up and turn it off?

SPEAKER_02 31:42

No, it's it's good when you talk, I can't hear it. It's just like once once I'm talking and then you listening. No, no, you go. You're gonna don't get in trouble with them kids. You know, you're playing tough. Turn that AC off. But I think this is a powerful subject because a lot of times you can know something, but you won't, it'll go into the back of your mind, and you won't keep it before you because it becomes less important to you because you don't keep it before you. And I think the things that makes you a well-rounded person in Yahweh, you have to keep the things that He has commanded you to do or the things you've been trained to do, you have to keep those things before you. That's how you stay sharp, that's how you stay on point, on post, and you remain focused that way, keeping things before you.

SPEAKER_00 32:37

I think what people have to ask themselves is the question Am I making myself miserable? Yeah, and if I am making myself miserable, am I making the people around me miserable? And quote unquote, Lord of the Flies, you know? In other words, are you just using your power or your influence to see how miserable you can make people feel? But if you don't feel good, you should never, if you love someone, you should never want someone else not to feel good because I don't feel good. Right, right. But once again, it goes back to going back, where do you have influence? And people have to be honest if they have negative influence. Whatever I do, I'm into it. I'm I'm into it. When when I was chess, really into chess, guns, everything in in and out, guns, cars, you know. I'm into relationship. I'm into marriage, I'm into parenting. When you're when you're really when you're really into something, you you you want it to be successful. Don't take the wrong way. I'm into who I am. I'm into ministry. Everything about me is Joshua. Everything about me is Joshua. Don't take I'm not doing things for the bishop, okay? I'm doing things because this is who who I am. And what I'm talking about, that is, you know, certain people, it's don't take this the wrong way. Certain people want to wear a hat, but they don't have the heart. A hat can be seen, a heart can't. A hat can be seen from the outside, a heart can only be seen after the fruits are shown of the heart. You know, I mean, you don't you don't have me outside of Yahweh. Another way to put it. I'm I'm loyal. I hope it don't offend nobody. Before I can represent another ministry, I gotta represent me. You know, and then if you are part of a ministry, but you never rep that ministry, but you represent other ministries, you're in the wrong ministry. If you are in a marriage, but you never represent your marriage, but you're bigging up somebody else's marriage, you're not into marriage. If you are a parent, but you're always repping other people's kids, but not your own kids, you're not a good parent. You know? So you're not a five a good five-fold minister if you don't re represent the ministry you're in, but you can rep everything else. And that's what we see right now to a lot of white evangelicals. A lot of white evangelicals, they can rep Trump more than they rep Christ. They can rep represent Trump more than they represent the ministry they're supposed to be a part of. It goes back to who are you really? Going back to what I said before. If you are a miserable person and you make everyone around you miserable, you don't love them. You don't love them. Anyone that you love, you don't want them to hurt because you're hurting. No, that's an insecurity. You know, there's no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend. You lay down your life so someone can have a better life. You don't lay down your life like, okay, we're all gonna die together. That's a suicidal bomber. The problem comes in when you're married to a suicidal bomber. And if you're married to a suicidal bomber, that means that person, when they can't get their way, they're ready to blow up the whole family, murder the whole family. Wow. And that right there, that right there is not love, you know? But that's once again, he'll recover, mature. When I tried to kill myself, I had to heal. And recognize the difference. Recovery doesn't take place in an instant. But it's while recovering that you mature. You know? Right. Powerful, you know. I mean, now you you got some you got some notes, right?

SPEAKER_02 37:07

Yeah, but this is uh I just it's the same subject, I believe. It's uh wow, I can't it's deep. It it goes into a lot of compartments of of what you were saying, but I'm gonna have to change the title to this one. No, yeah. And it's I just really like the subject, you know, it's really powerful, and it's so deep, all of it. Well, what it told you, I'm always thinking. To heal to recover and to mature is like that's deep.

SPEAKER_00 37:42

I I can't I can't I can't let it go. Like, okay, what I told what I told the two girls, okay, what I told the two babies, okay, I want you to listen when I start off. Bobby. So if the AC is too much, like they said, why don't you just turn it off? Just turn it off. I would just turn it off. But they never, you know. But I'll hear that is healing, that's recovery, and that's mature. All in one. But uh it's what once again, you you you know what's what's important to me and what's alarming at the same time. People who need help won't get help, but they'll be on the outskirts of help. They'll they'll look in but not really get help. And then they will sidebar with someone to see should I get help? And instead of the person basically either getting them help, they'll sidebar with them, and nothing gets done. I think nothing would frustrate me more than not getting something done. I have to see, I have to see progress. But then again, I'm blessed, you know, I'm beyond blessed I got the best friends in the world. I'm beyond blessed because I mean, have a whole team that I communicate with, and of course I have my family. I I just don't teach things. Uh I walk in it. I communicate with my fighting six every day. We have real conversations every day. You know, we always, you know, ask how each person is doing. So that gives freedom. And then we also talk, don't take it the wrong way, the people who don't want victory. The the the the people who, once again, who are on the on the sidelines. Where I am right now, and please don't take this wrong way. You don't see anywhere in anywhere in scripture where Yahweh or Christ brings change to someone who doesn't want it. Oh there's no conversion therapy. There's no conversion therapy. Yahweh had conversion therapy with with Moshe, with Ruth. No. It's it's you hear a call and you answer it. There's certain people who hear a call and they won't answer it. Anyone who hears a call and doesn't answer it, no one should be badger than that person. If they're not going to answer Christ, if they're not going to answer the Holy Spirit, today if you hear his voice, harden up your heart, then you just stop it. You know, you just stop it. Someone who wants to live a completely different lifestyle than you, don't condemn them. Let them live it. With them. Right.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

The problem comes in.

SPEAKER_00 41:01

The problem comes in when you are hurt but stubborn. Woo! I don't know if you caught that. Right. When you are hurt and stubborn. If you're hurt and you're stubborn, you can't get healed. If you're hurt and stubborn, you can't recover. If you're hurt and stubborn, you haven't matured. Right. And though he were a son, yet he learned obedient to the things he suffered. It comes a time where you begin to learn via your experience. And some of us have been married long enough to learn via our experience in our marriage. And then to learn have you been positive to your mate or negative to your mate? And this is gonna come out rough and mean. And some people need to be honest if they've been married to witches or warlocks. Whoa. That that that that that right there is important, you know? And so that's key. So what you want to say? Because your eyes are all down.

SPEAKER_02 42:17

Because I was just writing down my thought, because last week you told me I should have a pen, so I came prepared this week.

SPEAKER_01 42:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:23

But I was gonna say, because what you said is is deep when you said stubbornness and and you're hurt and stubbornness, you won't allow help in. Stubbornness is a lock and it denies Christ access to the things that you need change. That's why it's called witchcraft. That's it is so you're denying Christ's access to the city. Okay, no, thank you. But stubbornness, stubbornness locks locks Christ out, stubbornness locks your loved ones out, stubbornness locks out the best of you. And so when you're walking in stubbornness, it's like a rabbit mind. It's a rabbit mind because you're insane. Any mind that's not renewed or transformed by Christ is insanity. And the thing is, that's why the scriptures tell us to take upon ourselves the mind of Christ, because walking in your own mind and you're not in your right mind is like walking in your own mind, you're not in your right mind.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

That's a positive. I don't know why you stop. That's a positive. What's a positive? Walking in your own mind, you're not walking in your Christ's mind.

SPEAKER_02 43:41

Yeah, I I mean, I didn't say it was a negative.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

Calm down. Hallelujah. Bring that zeal, bring that fire.

SPEAKER_02 43:51

Yeah. Stop sneaking, people. Go ahead. No, go ahead, finish. That was it. I was just saying, stubbornness is a lie. And it locks people out where they're not able to access any parts of you that is hurting. And so it's like if you're having issues with let me ask you something.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

Do you view me as a serious person?

SPEAKER_02 44:17

Not all the time, but no, go ahead, expand.

SPEAKER_00 44:21

I don't want to listen. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

Sometimes you be having that you play too much anointing on you when I'm trying to talk to you, and everything is laughing, or that's why I was like, What's so funny? What you laughing at? Like you'll just have a whole moment by yourself. Yeah, but I think that's one of the things sometimes you got negative thoughts. No, I ask you, what are you laughing at? Because I want to hear.

SPEAKER_00 44:45

You act like trying to uh embarrass you or do you answer? Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 44:55

I said, Do you answer? When I say what you laughing at. What? Well, sometimes you just come up with something, and I know that's not what you laughing at.

SPEAKER_00 45:05

No, because you talking about like your hair this morning?

SPEAKER_02 45:11

You was laughing at my hair this morning? I missed that one. I'm just saying you want to do it.

SPEAKER_00 45:22

I'm always I always got these thoughts in my head. And that's what comes in.

SPEAKER_02 45:29

Cheers some of your thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

I I don't I told you. I'll be very blunt with you. I'm like, babe, I can't tell you what the devil just told me.

SPEAKER_02 45:38

But see, the difference between me and you, I don't even say stuff like that. I just don't say what the devil said. And don't say he told me anything.

SPEAKER_00 45:46

I can't say what the devil just told me.

SPEAKER_02 45:48

You know how he always coming to you saying something? You need to deny him access.

SPEAKER_00 45:55

No, this guy like you say, come over here, he'll shout it. And I'll tell you, like, you know, I can't even say the devil just said something crazy.

SPEAKER_02 46:05

But that's that's and then I'm like, what did he say? You'll be like, I can't repeat it. And I'm like, then why did you even say that? You still wouldn't be saying what the devil then brought to your attention or tried to.

SPEAKER_00 46:19

Well, that's what comes. It's knowing the influence that you have. And and and and moving on that. No, knowing that influence.

SPEAKER_01 46:29

I think I think you're not healthy.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

Harbor hurts when you know where you can get Hillary. Yeah. Right. Where you know where you can get Hillary. You know? Or have phantom beefs.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Because there are some there are some phantom beef.

SPEAKER_00 46:57

What's a phantom beef?

SPEAKER_02 46:58

Break that down. A phantom beef is when you believe you have a beef with someone or someone have have have a beef with you. That's not true. You made that up. And you made that up based on Satan kidnapping your thoughts. You know what I'm saying? Like, you've been kidnapped by your thoughts, and then you keep having that same thought process every time you see this.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

Use me as an example of a phantom.

SPEAKER_02 47:22

So a phantom beef will be okay, for instance, if I say to you, I was just talking about it earlier. When married couples argue silently, you create these beefs that you believe your mate is throwing at you, and you start fighting those thoughts that they're not even having. It's like you made that up. It's a phantom beef. So it's like you're boxing with thoughts that are not there based on something that you've received. It's like, no, well, who gave you that thought? Why do you believe that? And then you start feeling like this is real because it becomes real to you because you meditate on it, you turn it into a whole argument in your head, and then it becomes something that is not. So a phantom beef is meditating on something that's not that's not true that you've created, even in, even in relationships. Why are you laughing?

SPEAKER_00 48:23

I'm laughing because I think one of the reasons I get along with you, you're not sneaky. Oh no, uh uh. No, but listen, if the person is sneaky, on both ends, it produces a lot of phantom phantom beats. Yeah, because when you're dealing with a sneaky person, it's like you went to the grocery store. Right, right. Right you you were there for three hours and the car broke down, and the grocery store closed it at 12 and now it's 6 a.m. You know? No, seriously, because that creates that creates a whole a whole bunch of no you have a real fight. Listen, this is powerful. Listen, you gotta make you can't fall in love with a what if. Yeah, yeah. And when you're dealing with a what if that that that that that's whatchamacall? That's you know, and I I I I think the reason that we are able to help and recover and mature is because we have to put on the table what what we're dealing with. You know? I and what we could lose.

SPEAKER_02 49:39

Oh, that's gotta you gotta factor that in. I think that's the most important part. When you start factoring in how foolish divorce people who divorce, when they look back and they say, Wow, this was not something that I I should have divorced over. It happens. It happens. And or this is not something that I should have said something I can't take back over. This is this was not worth it. It's counting cost before you go to war because a lot of times you're going to war over something that really doesn't matter, and it won't even go into the next day, you know, and it's like, was it worth it? What you have and what you could lose, is it worth the gamble over something foolish? Is it worth it? Maturity says, no, it's not worth it. And maturity causes you to get over that.

SPEAKER_00 50:35

What's so sad? There's a lot of people. Well, there's some people who didn't mature until they went to prison.

SPEAKER_02 50:47

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:48

And they realized, hey, if I would have just walked away. And and actually, what is prison?

unknown 50:57

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 50:58

Prison costs time. Yeah. Prison costs time and forces you, it forces you to meditate on a bad decision. And it forces you to recognize if you make a bad decision in your present, it will cost you years in your future. And people need to be aware of that in relationship. Yes. In relationship. I because I think when you've done a lot of sin, it's easier to forgive people. Well, Yashua said, who will love me more? The person you forgave the most. I never want to forget how I was saved, the sins he forgave me of. And I always want to bring healing because what you sow is what you reap. I I want to I want to bring that. And then mature to the point, I'm not talking about I'm not talking about abusive relationships. I'm talking about relationships that I know that began in love and in Christ. But then people get sidetracked and once again become a suicidal bomber and destroy the whole family because they can't get their way. That is immaturity. Right. And I've seen people leave Christ. I mean, I've seen people leave leave Christ. I mean, how how do you go from, you know, I'm Gabby to I'm gonna just blow everything up? How do you go from being a victim to being a serial killer? And people have to be honest, are you a serial killer when it comes to relationships within your own circle, within your own family? How about this? This is D. Don't destroy a person you said that you love, don't destroy their memory by you not fulfilling what you're called to do. I would destroy my mom and dad's memory and my grandparents by being less than who they call me to be. I confirm their love by being it. And what does that mean? Healing, recovering, and maturity, where it's not always easy to heal. It's not always easy to recover. And maturity is living with it. It's gonna it's gonna get better. And I know that today for me started off real hard because I was praying, you know, I was praying, and then Yahweh was rebuking me. He was rebuking me because he's like, you're praying, but you're not prophesying. And there's a difference, there's a big difference. Praying, you're you're you're praying, you're you're you're flowing, but prophecy, I mean, the the Hebrew word nabi is to speak for another. Prophecy is Yahweh speaking, right? And then it's like, okay, hallelujah. And then I'm I'm prophesying, and I'm getting upset because I'm like, yo, these are some well at the time I was like, these are some negative words, and we need to get Christina ill. So it's amazing, you know, because you understand, for those of us who are spiritual, we know that prophecy is not us. We know in part we prophesy. We know in part and we prophesy in part. Prophesying in part is us, meaning that we don't even know what the fool is going on. So here it is that I'm getting these words because within these words, it's people who are strong, excuse me, but choosing to have their way, walk in an insecurity, then try to build their mates to cater to the insecurity, and if they don't cater to the insecurity, then you don't love me. If you if if don't listen to this, if you don't put my hurt on life support, you don't love me. No, no, no, it no a hurt shouldn't be on life support, right? A hurt should be in healing, right? Otherwise, it's not gonna get well. And there are too many people who have relationships, and with the and within the relationships, they're not talking about what keeps them unhealthy and what keeps them from being whole. And then you can be in the habit of just making sure the IV is in your arm, make sure you you're getting the IV, but there is there is no plan for the hilling. There's no plan to move on, which is if you keep doing the same thing over, it's insanity.

SPEAKER_02 56:38

But listen to this, because we've seen it. The mates that keep putting the IV in the other mate's arm to keep their insecurity on life support. Eventually, they OD and they just they spiritually died. And then what happens? You are now left with the mate I once served Yahweh with, the mate I built this family with, the mate, as for me and my house, we will serve Yahweh. All of that was disrupted because you didn't choose to get your mate healing. It's like how much, how, how, how successful can a mate who's constantly living in insecurity they want you to feed? How how successful could your marriage be in that? Like, how far could your marriage go in that? Right. You you can't you can't go far in marriage with that because your mate is constantly saying, if you don't cater to my insecurity, you don't love me. And then it's like you get tired of stuff like that. Anybody who got sense will get tired of that. And then it's like, well, I can't, because then that mate will then turn on you and say, well, you know what? You're not, you, you don't love me because you're not you're not feeding my my ego, you're not feeding my insecurities, you're not feeding my doubts. And it's like, wow, you know, that's what our marriage is about. Me keeping your insecurity alive, then it was never love.

SPEAKER_00 58:00

Wow. It's like it's like, no. Keeping my insecurity alive. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 58:05

I want to say something to what you said about you keeping your memory of your mom alive and your grandparents, because that's powerful. And what I think is powerful about that is you're not keeping their memory alive based on pressure, or you don't feel like since they passed away, you can you hold that thought.

SPEAKER_00 58:26

Yes. Come on, please don't look, look. The older I get, the more I respect and honor our African culture and ancestry where we honor our elders that were before us. And in America, it was almost seen as a negative, or this is a form of witchcraft. No, that's all throughout scripture. All throughout scripture, Yahweh says, I am the Elohim of Abraham, I am the Elohim of Yitzhak, I am the Elohim of Yaakov. In other words, they still exist and they are still in my presence. I know I'm taking too long in this. So you could only you can only honor your dead by living their lives and allowing them to live through you. There is no interaction I have with my children outside of my parents and my grandparents. And loosen it. Did you forget what you were saying?

SPEAKER_02 59:49

No. Go. What I was saying is the fact that you don't feel like it's pressure to carry that on. And you don't feel like since they've passed on that you're relieved of the pressure to continue it. You know what I'm saying? But for some people, and I've experienced it when my dad's mom passed. A lot of people changed, you know. It's like you changed, but it's like, did you change because they passed away? So you don't feel like you have to uphold the morals that they taught you, you don't have to uphold the values they gave you, and you start to walk in whatever bitterness you may have had, you know, and you feel free to release that because the people that you honored and respected are no longer here. That happens, you know what I'm saying? It's sad, but it does happen. And it has happened, like I said, in my own family, and and my father's family changed uh dramatically, like when my grandmother passed away, because now she's the person who held people together, she's no longer there, so they don't feel like I have to uphold this image.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:58

But you having that upbringing, that's where you have to incorporate it and you have in ministry where you become that grandmother that holds everyone together. That's that's important be because that's what I view my ministry as, and not just my ministry, but my fatherhood holding everything to together and bringing forth that hill. And it's it's it's empowering, you know, and and that's why people have to meditate on the power you have, you know. And and you it can be either negative or positive. Because in meditating that you're showing that you could you could change that. You could change it. This past Sunday, when your mother came to service, that is the most love, the genuine love I ever felt from your mother. And I saw I saw a change in her. But that came from your consistency. That came from your your consistency. Your mother had genuine love, and she really had a good time. Of course, your did too.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:38

Yes, but it shows what happens when you stick to Yahweh's path of healing, you know, also not sticking to your own definition of what you believe love to be, submitting to someone based on what they feel you should do in their lives, that doesn't mean you know, you're loving them. Again, like having my mother around 24-7 is not that wasn't healthy because it was always turning into an argument. And so, and I told somebody this once at an event, the way I love, I choose to love my mother is by not being around her often, where we're arguing all the time, but honoring her in distance because I can pray for her.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:35

I want to say something, but that protected our relationship because I remember when when when you would say my mom aggravates me, and I don't want that to affect other relationships.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:55

In other words, you're like, when even before Tati was born, you're like, that's my mother calling. I can't pick up. It's like, nope. But that's the honesty. I'm not picking up, that's gonna change the whole move, not doing that.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:11

No, if your piece gets disrupted, if your piece gets disrupted based on even somebody calling you, it's like when you live with it. You right, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:26

Once again, being honest, what type of influence you have, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:30

Right, yeah. No, but I agree. This Sunday, she was it was a blessing to see her, and I have not said that in a while, just being honest.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:41

Yeah, I don't think you said that during our marriage.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:44

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:45

That's significant, babe. We've been married 21 years. That's a miracle. Think about that. Catch that, that's the roof, and it's true. You used to live in Maplewood, I'll be biting that woman up, but then again, if everyone don't know, they were keeping me in court. I was in court like every other day. Yeah, for real.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:09

No, but it wasn't, it's it's it's you can honor someone by not choosing to be around them if it's not healthy, you know, and that's that's what I told my mother that before. I said, you know, I don't want to always constantly argue with you. It's not healthy for me or you. So it's like, no, yes, I do love you, but I'm not gonna allow you to disrupt my peace. And I don't want to disrupt yours.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:34

And so it was like I do love you, but I'm not gonna allow you to disrupt my peace. But what if you're married to that?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:41

What if you're married to that?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:43

Wow. Wow, you were blessed because it wasn't in your household. So you're just talking about a phone, right? Maybe a computer, but what if you're married to it? Wow. Scary. That's heavy. That's heavy. Well, the next time we're on, we're gonna have to talk about how you're gonna get your brother to beat somebody up, and the person wasn't even did anything wrong. But how you you got convicted. No, it's powerful, babe. Because there's so many people right now calling somebody to beat somebody up, and the person you called to beat up wasn't even involved in it. Person is innocent. The person is innocent. Yep. The person is innocent. But once again, it's been great. Heal, recover, mature. I'm in. Yes. That's powerful.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:32

Powerful.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:33

I mean. Let's get the help we need so we can live the lives we're called to live. You know? Very, very, very important. But uh oh yeah. Okay, babe, let's just get get a quick smile. Let's see, let's see some teeth. Ready?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:51

One, two, three, go.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:56

There you go. See, you you I don't know. When you laugh, you just you just everything explodes, you know. You need to laugh more. You know, everything explodes.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:07

Say goodnight, because now you're playing.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:10

All right. Everybody keep me up in prayer. I gotta get my heart monitor tomorrow, okay? And so forth. At nine o'clock, nine thirty in the morning. All right. Love y'all. Bury me a god.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:27

Love y'all, shallow.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:30

Love y'all, shallow, shallow.