The Sports Mastermind
The Sports Mastermind is the premier sports psychology podcast. We break down and lay out step-by-step instructions teaching you how to implement the fundamentals of sports psychology. Each segment focuses on breaking down a specific element in 10 minutes or less.The content is relevant for young athletes all the way to the pros. The mental development of athletes applies to all sports, genders, levels and abilities. We break down complicated topics into easy to digest and implement segments. Internationally recognized expert Laura Ratto combines her experiences as a former professional athlete with her experience in the domestic and international sports industry to help athletes reach their full potential and optimize performance. She utilizes her Master’s Degree and CSCS (Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist) to develop programs for Olympic training centers, college curriculum and published works to help individuals in their quest to excel at every level. Laura Ratto teaches at several colleges including Cyamaca, Southwestern, and USK where she developed curriculum for an emphasis in Sport, Exercise, and Performance Psychology for Kinesiology majors.
The Sports Mastermind
E35: Communicating With Your Coach When You Think They're Wrong
Communicating with your coach when you think they're wrong
Communicating with your coach when you think they are wrong
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Scenario
What did Coach say? That can't be right. That's the third time that I don't agree with cooked with what coach said. Coach thinks I'm ready to do this but I don't think I am. This strategy isn't going to work for the team. What is coach thinking!
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Have you ever thought these things about your coach? The relationship between the coach and the athlete is very important and coaches need to be trusted and respected in order to optimize your performance as an athlete. What happens when you do not respect your coach or are you or questioning why your coach is doing what he or she is doing?
Finding the right coach is important for an athlete to be successful. At the professional level, athletes have a say to some degree as to who their coaches are. At the college level, when an athlete is getting recruited they have a choice in which college they go to and a lot of that decision is based on the coach. However, at the high school level, Middle School level and sometimes even at the club level, you as an athlete don't have a choice as to who your coach is. In this scenario, what do you do when you do not agree with your coach?
This topic can be looked at on a little bit of a larger scale. Instead of looking at what you should do when you disagree with your coach, we're going to expand the topic to talk about what you should do when you disagree with someone who is in a position of authority. We will be using the coach/athlete relationship as an example.
Coaches use their extensive experience to communicate their perception of what is happening with your training. They help you with the who, what, when, where, why and how of your sport. Coaches have their own preferred communication style and that style will be slightly different for each coach. As an athlete you also have your own preferred style of communication. It is important for you, as an athlete, to not only know what your preferred communication style is, but also how your coach prefers to communicate. Do you prefer to talk about a situation as soon as it happens or do you need to think about it before you bring it up? How comfortable are you discussing a situation or a problem with a person in authority?
Here are four steps to bringing up an uncomfortable situation or topic to a person in authority.
To successfully communicate with your coach or a person in authority, the first thing you need to do is Approach the relationship with respect. Starting a conversation in this way will help the listener to be more receptive to what you are going to say.
The second thing to keep in mind is to Be Clear and honest about what you want to discuss. What are your goals with this conversation? What is the issue? What do you want to accomplish? What would you like the resolution to be?
The third thing to remember is timing. Approach the conversation when both people are open to listening to each other. For example, do not criticize or question your coach in front of other teammates. Set-up a time with the coach either before or after practice, or at a different time completely when you and the coach can discuss the situation in an open and honest way. Another component that is important in timing is to address the conflict as they develop. For example, do not wait until the end of the season to talk about something that happened during tryouts.
The fourth and final thing we are going to discuss is the words that actually come out of your mouth. Be sure to explain the situation in a way that does not attack the other person. When discussing conflict or disagreements with people, it is important to not attack the other person and make them feel that they must go on the defensive. Keep in mind each other’s communication style and preference as well. If the coach needs to process what you told them, they may not have an answer or a resolution for your right then and there. They may need time to process it before moving forward. Frame your communication using the following:
I think….
I feel…..
I would like……
I think that my defense is getting better and I am moving my feet to the ball.
I feel like you are singling me out and being harder on me than everyone else.
I would like to know why you keep telling me all the things that I am doing wrong and never say anything that I am doing right.
Poor communication is often cited as the top reason athletes don’t get the full benefit of working with their coach. Getting the most you can out of your coach and your sport experience takes practice and work on communication from everyone involved.
To Review, The Focus four for Communication with your coach or someone in authority when you think they are wrong are:
- Approach the relationship with respect
- Be Clear and honest about what you want to discuss and what you want to accomplish with the conversation
- Timing - Approach the conversation when both people are open and able to listen to each other.
- Focus on the words that actually come out of your mouth. Be sure to explain the situation in a way that does not attack the other person. Frame your communication using: I think…., I feel…., and I would like……
How is YOUR communication with your coach? What could you do to improve your communication with your coach when you disagree? Try using the I think, I feel, and I would like the next time you have a disagreement and want to discuss it. For assistance with practice or additional tools to help you become a more effective communicator, contact me at RattoConsulting.com. If you or your coaches or organization are interested in hosting a workshop or virtual seminar on this or any other sports psychology or performance optimizing topic, please email me at Laura@RattoConsulting.com. Next week we will have our bonus episode on ways for coaches to communicate effectively.
The Author Shannon Adler wrote: “If there is no communication, then there is no respect. If there is no respect, then there is no caring. If there is no caring, then there is no understanding.
