E36: What is Your Compliment Sandwich Made of? - Effective Coach Communication.

What is your compliment sandwich made of? - Effective coach communication.

Transcript

Effective Communicating as a Coach

________

Scenario

What the Coach says: Great job moving your feet, but your hand positioning is all wrong.  You can do it better next time.

What the athlete hears:  I did it all wrong.  Coach said good job, but didn’t really mean it.

What the coach is thinking:  I gave the athlete a positive thing before the correction, so the athlete knows I mean well and am supporting him/her.  But seriously, how many times have I told that athlete to fix that same thing!

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Has this ever happened to you?  You tell the athlete one thing, you are thinking something else and the athlete takes a whole different meaning out of it.  There are so many things to take into account when examining effective ways to communicate. One thing to keep in mind as a coach is the type of athlete you are communicating with. Is it a professional athlete? A college athlete? A club or travel ball athlete? A high school athlete? A middle school athlete? A recreational player? Is it a team or individual sport player?  What is the gender of the athlete? The answers to each of these questions play a role in how to most effectively interact and communicate with your athlete.  While each of these different types of athletes could be a podcast in itself, we are going to spend this episode talking about how to send verbal messages, specifically feedback, effectively.   

Today we are going to focus on the verbal part of the communication process and look at what the coach is saying versus what the athlete is hearing. But first, a question….what is your favorite kind of sandwich? As a coach, you have most likely heard about the compliment sandwich: positive feedback followed by negative feedback (or constructive criticism) followed by positive feedback. The concept behind the compliment sandwich is that the positive feedback will help to make the negative feedback easier for the athlete to receive. This is also done a lot in the business world. Just like some sandwiches are better than others, there are pros and cons to the compliment sandwich and, as with many dishes,  it is all about presentation.

Since we are all about positivity in this podcast, the first thing I want to focus on is the term “negative feedback or constructive criticism”.  In reality, this part of the comment is the main idea that you, the coach, wants to get across.  It is the change that you want the athlete to make. If we think of this as negative or criticism, then we are more likely to unconsciously present it in a negative way. 

Let’s take a moment and look at one big difference between criticism and feedback.  Criticism focuses on what we don’t want and feedback focuses on what we do want.

Criticism:  Your footwork is all wrong! - Notice that this comment is very general and does not provide any actionable information for change

Constructive Criticism: Your footwork is wrong. You need to move your feet!  Notice that this comment leads with what was done wrong.

Constructive feedback: On this next move, I want you to focus on fast feet.  Think about kicking off with your back foot as soon as you see where the ball is going.  If you move with your feet first, the rest of your body will follow.

Constructive feedback should include specific comments and actionable changes to the skill that can be made immediately AND should include information as to what the move or process should be moving forward, such as comments on body positioning, technique, and strategy.

Some things to avoid when presenting constructive feedback are:

Vague or non-specific comments,  personal attacks, and non-actionable information (for example, you’re too short to get that rebound)

Now that we’ve identified the meat we like, what about the bread?  What is the positive feedback that athletes respond to?  Positive feedback is composed of words and information that reinforce actions or behavior to get the athlete to continue performing those actions. There are a couple things to remember about positive feedback. The first is that it needs to be clear and specific and honest. Saying something positive when you don't really mean it or when you are only saying it so that you can say the constructive feedback is not as helpful as you think AND the athlete will realize it and it can make the praise seem insincere. You can also lose the critical part of the message because of the positive feedback on either side. In Psychology there is what is called the primacy and recency effect which means that the first thing you hear and the last thing you hear are what you are going to remember and focus on. This is true in a list series, but it can also be true in a more condensed version.

So,  as coaches, what can we do to make sure that we are giving the information to the athlete in such a way that they will not only hear what we are saying but understand what we are meaning and be able to implement what we are attempting to convey? 

This can be done by providing clear and specific feedback on a regular basis. BE CONSISTENT. It is also important to make it a two-way conversation.  You can do this by giving the athletes time to ask questions or to provide feedback about what you are saying. It's also important to ask the athlete and make sure that they understand what you said. Be sure that you are talking TO the athlete and not AT the athlete. 

Have you ever had somebody explain something to you that you already knew? Frustrating isn't it? This is true for the athlete as well. Instead of telling the athlete what they did right and what they did wrong, ask them and make them a part of the learning process.  In the health field this is called the ask-tell-ask method. First doctor’s ask the patient if they understand what their situation is and what their options are,  and then the doctor listens to their response before they tell them the information that will help fill in the gaps in their  knowledge.  Finally the doctor asks them again to make sure that the patient understands what the doctor has said.

Putting this in a sports context, you would first ask the athlete what worked in that movement and then LISTEN to their response to see how much they understand of the process. Then you would ask them what didn't work and listen to their response.  Finally, you would ask them what they could do to get better. If they do not have a response to “what can you do to get better”, then you can provide them with constructive feedback as to changes in their movement or behavior or thought process to help enhance their performance. 

Finally, as with life, timing is everything! Remember to give feedback at the appropriate time.  When is that?  Right after the action or behavior has happened! You can always pull the athlete out of the drill and give them 10 seconds of feedback one-on-one. this is better than asking them to remember something that they did at the beginning of the drill and to make a change.  another important part of timing is to be sure to tell the athlete the next time they do the move correctly. They will be focusing on changing what you just told them. If you provide feedback and don't positively reinforce the behavior the next time they do it correctly, then they will not know if they did it right and they will not pay as much attention to the next time you make a correction. 

Now that we have the meat in the bread, what about the condiments? I like my sandwich with a nice aioli, maybe a little bit of arugula. Again it's all about presentation. When you're providing feedback you need to make sure that you say it clearly and simply in language that your athlete can understand. Be sure that the information is age-appropriate as well as skill level appropriate. You also need to confirm that all the athletes know the words that you are using. If they are new to the sport they may not know what a platform or one-hop or a screen are. 

That’s the arugula, but what about the aioli?  Type Tone and Volume matter as well. A loud voice commands attention and respect. An enthusiastic voice motivates athletes.  You will want to soften your voice when talking to athlete one-on-one - especially when you are discussing a personal problem.  Some people like aioli, some pesto, some ketchup, and some dijon mustard.  They are all condiments, but all have their own little flair.  Athletes learn a lot the same way. Have you ever said something to an athlete to fix a specific skill and you tell them five six seven eight nine 10 times? Then your assistant coach or another coach or somebody else tells them the exact same thing, but uses slightly different words and, all the sudden, it clicks for them. Maybe it was because the tone of voice was different; maybe it was because the words made more sense to them; maybe it was because the other 9 times helped them to prepare for understanding it now this tenth time. The words that you use may make sense to you but may not mean the same thing to your athlete. Because of this it is important to change your words slightly when you're explaining the same change to an athlete. For example, in volleyball when we are passing we want a solid platform to pass the ball. OR we want to Focus on having your hands together and make sure your arms look the same when you pass the ball. Or You can use the pancake pancake sausage sausage pop your thumbs down technique to make sure that your hands are in the same position so your arms are straight to get the ball will go where you want it to. Or pretend there is a clipboard on your arms and you are going to pass the volleyball on the clipboard.

Finally, make sure you don’t drop the sandwich on the floor before you eat it.  Translation: Be sure not to follow a positive statement with the word “but”.  Saying “but” negates the information that was just given. “That was a great throw” BUT you need to make sure that you are stepping and transferring your weight.  Basically what you are saying is that it was NOT a great throw.  

Instead say. “You did a really nice job keeping your eye on the target and your elbow up. If you can transfer your weight next time and push off of your back foot, then you will get more power behind your throw.  You’ve got this!

Be specific with your praise, as well as your feedback

To Review, The Focus four for Effective Communication for coaches are:

1. Use Constructive feedback which includes specific comments and actionable changes to the skill that can be made immediately when providing feedback to athletes.
2. Provide clear and consistent feedback on a regular basis and make sure that it occurs right after the behavior that you want to change.
3. Include the athlete in the learning process by using the ASK-TELL-ASK method.  Ask the athlete what worked, what didn’t and what they can do better and LISTEN to their responses before providing feedback
4. Finally don’t forget the condiments - Type, tone and volume matter.

How is YOUR communication with your individual athletes?  With your team as a whole?  What could you do to improve your interactions with your players? Try incorporating the athlete in the learning process and you may be surprised with how well they respond. For assistance with practice or additional tools to help you become a more effective communicator, contact me at RattoConsulting.com.  If you or your organization are interested in hosting a workshop or virtual seminar on this or any other sports psychology or performance optimizing topic, please email me at Laura@RattoConsulting.com. 

The most important thing in coaching is communication.  IT’s not what you say as much as what they absorb. ~ Red Aurbach