Highly Melanated Podcast

Drive This Bus Man: Tyler Perry's Pen May Need A Break

• Highly Melanated Podcast • Season 5 • Episode 151

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0:00 | 59:00

Have you ever sprinted to catch a bus, only to have it zoom past you in a blur frustration?  'Bus Driver Chronicles,' we share stories that illustrate the comedic agony of public transit and the surprising moments of human connection that make it all worth it.
 Then, we switch tracks to dissect the creative empire of Tyler Perry, musing on the mixed reviews of "Mea Culpa" and fantasizing about the uproar an Oscar-worthy Perry production could incite. 

Do you think that Tyler should put the pen down?  Let us know your thoughts.

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MTA Bus Stop Fiasco

Speaker 1

Like I understand that, like not everything is gonna run on time all the time. You know, we live in New York, we deal with the MTA. We know that. Okay, Motherfucking MTA. Let me also tell you that, oh, my, oh side note, we gonna pivot for just a moment, just a moment, On my way to set today and we film here in Brooklyn.

Speaker 1

We film with the Broadway stages over on Kingsland, okay, In Greenpoint. So theoretically it's a hop, skip and a jump away distance-wise. But you know it takes everywhere in New York 10 hours to get anywhere. So for me to go from here to approximately four miles down the road takes an hour and there's like 10 different ways to get there. So this morning I was like, okay, let me see if I take this way. So I'm gonna take the J to the B24. And then I'll walk, you know, the last 10 minutes over to the studios, and I hadn't taken this route before.

Speaker 1

So I'm like, okay, I don't know exactly where the B24 bus picks up, but I'm sure I'll find it. So I see where the bus picks up. I'm like, okay, so I start walking towards the bus stop and I see the bus start to pull up. I was like, oh shit, there's the bus. Put some pep in your set. So I'm trying to get and I missed the bus at the bus stop and so it pulls away from the bus stop but literally there's a light right there, like right there. So it drove up like all of 10 feet. So I'm like, okay, cool, Duh, duh, duh, duh, run up to the bus.

Speaker 1

Now I know, I know that they are not allowed to pick up at undesignated stops, I know that, I know that she's like, well, please, baby, please. But here's the thing. I was like, okay, I'm gonna knock on the door. If he picks me up, great. If not, let me at least ask him where the next stop is so I can try to hustle over to that stop before he gets there, Cause he stopped at the light, right. So I've got a good couple of seconds to maybe make it to the next stop. So I'm out of breath and all I'm knocking and he, literally he did this. Look, you're me, I'm here to set.

Speaker 3

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 4

These bus drivers are ruthless. Baby, listen what that take you there. What's that?

Speaker 1

So then I was like oh, for real. I was like I just want to ask you where the next stop is. He's not paying me any rabbit ass, mind. I was like, wow, okay, so I quickly get up my phone and quickly, like I'm trying to like do the map route. Founder, the light turns green, the bus takes off, it turns the corner, and so I looked to see where it turned and I saw where the bus stop sign was. I was like, so I take off.

Speaker 5

I love this. I love the sound effect.

Speaker 1

Come on, come on, speedy Gonzalez, hustling down the street, hustling, hustling down the street. Okay, I get a friend and the bus gets stopped at another light. So I'm like cool, so I pass it and I get to this next stop, right. So the stop, the bus stop. The actual sign for the bus stop is here. I know that they don't pull right up to the sign because like there's like the street parking that's there and there's a car that's there, and I know that they're not going to be able to turn out. So I know that they usually stop a little bit before the sign, right, so I'm stopping, like okay. So, if this is the bus stop, and I'm stopping like right, we're like my noses okay, so like there's distance. But clearly I'm standing there waiting for the bus and this nigga just saw my ass, so he knows that I'm waiting for the goddamn bus. So I'm like, okay, cool. So I'm standing there and my face is like I'm heated because he already made me run down the street and all I wanted to do was ask him. But I'm like, okay, cool, and I know he saw me running because I had to pass him to get to the stop, but I know he saw me running down the street so that I could beat him to the stop right. Okay, bus stop is here, I'm here. Why did this raggedy motherfucker pull the bus up and stop back here? So then I had to walk my happy ass over here.

Speaker 1

When I got on that bus, I did not even make eye contact with him. I was radiating fumes. I was like, and I paid my little transfer fee and I sat down and I was like I'm gonna say something to this motherfucker. I was like it's fine. I was like I'm gonna say something to this bitch. Like what the fuck? Like I was going through my mind of like. I was like should I? Just? I was gonna say to him like I just wanted to ask you a question, or I just wanted to ask you where the next stop was, or I'm thinking to myself. I'm like what am I gonna say to him? What am I gonna say to him? And then I was like no, you know what, let me take the high road, I'm gonna tell him. I was like when I get off the bus, I'm gonna turn around and tell him you have a blessed day.

Speaker 4

I knew it. I knew you were gonna say have a blessed day.

Speaker 1

Oh my God. But then I couldn't even bring myself to do that because I knew it was coming from a place of venom and it wasn't authentic, and so I didn't wanna put God in that, I didn't wanna put him in a venomous place for me to say something to him that I didn't really mean, okay? So then I got off the bus and I didn't say anything, I just got off the bus and I just started walking and then, like, where I was walking, where I was walking, I had to walk. It was another like stoplight, so like, and I had the walk sign so I could walk across the street, and then the light turned green and then, like, I was in the crosswalks so there weren't any cars or buses that could turn. I was like, oh, I hope this bitch has to turn, I hope he has to turn right and he has to wait for me to cross the street before he could turn.

Speaker 1

I took my time walking across that street. I took my time walking and then when I heard the bus behind me make the turn, I was like yeah, bitch. And then I had to go into my prayer closet.

Speaker 4

You should have walked in front of the bus, dug in your bag, act like you forgot something like oh my.

Speaker 1

Oh my God, I was so I was and I was just so I don't. But like and again like what could I really be If he had actually like pulled up to like where I was like giving him like I felt like I would have been fine because, look like there was no issue, like I understand that you can't pick up at undesignated spots. Okay, sure, fine, I did what I had to do. I had to get to next stop, but the indignancy of him to stop, that was spite.

Speaker 4

That was spite.

Speaker 1

The spitefulness. It was mad. He made it.

Speaker 5

He had to stop a good 50, 20 feet, mad that you made it that was a trick on the cake because, honestly, honestly. I've seen people try to pull that where they just want to ask a question and you might not be trying to get on as soon as you open a door and they are, and then they just walk on and don't pay. Oh yeah, and then that's how you get bus drivers fired. So I can understand him, but that last part is crazy.

Speaker 1

That's why I was ready to just be like you know what, I get it. He couldn't. I'm a feel some type of but I get it. But it was exactly that. It was that spitefulness and I was like I gave him the clearance that he needed from the stop sign. But you know, something.

Speaker 5

Let's talk about that, because I feel like bus drivers do that shit all the time.

Speaker 1

I was all the time.

Speaker 4

Today the same thing and the bus driver came early. So what happens for me a lot is because when I have to be at the garage, let's say I have to be there at six, which means I have to get up at 430 and get the bus that leaves on Kings Highway, and it gets there because it's the first stop that early because it makes a U turn and that's the first stop. And there are days where he'll get there, and it's the same bus driver on a weekday and he'll get there and leave, see me running and just pull off.

Speaker 4

Or he'll get there early or this is late, this is late. That does that all the time. She gets there, she just early. And it's just like I asked somebody did the bus. She's like, yeah, it just left. I was like it's not supposed to leave for another six minutes and then they zoom all the way down. Then they kill everybody. We sit here getting whiplash and shit.

Speaker 5

On the bus. Some more final destination.

Speaker 4

But today I did that while I ran for the bus and I was like the bus was early and lucky enough there was all this traffic, so I was able to catch the bus and I was the thing is, he saw me running.

Speaker 1

He saw me. I'm just I. And you know what? Not all bus, this, let me not.

Speaker 5

Not all bus drivers but this Not all bus drivers like created equally.

Speaker 1

They're not. They're not, they're not created equally. Because when I was in college, when I was in college and I didn't have my car, what was it For part half, for the first half of junior year, and I had to take the bus home from work and I got done with work at 11 o'clock, 11 PM and I had to walk to the bus station that was outside of campus and then that's like where, like the bus like depot was, so it was like where they, like the buses like departed from. There was always that one bus driver. He would wait for me, he would wait for me. Like it got to the point where, like I think, like I don't remember how it-.

Speaker 4

But you are talking about Michigan versus New York.

Speaker 1

First of all right. So I think I told him Take care.

Speaker 1

I guess before. But like he would wait for me and he would, you know, make all the stops and, like you know, take me home. Like you know, I get off and okay, cool, thank you so much. We had a little report going on or whatever, cha-cha-cha-cha.

Speaker 1

So then, second semester, when I got my car back, I remember I was like okay, I don't have to take the bus anymore. But I didn't want him to think that something had happened to me. I didn't want him to think that I had just like up and disappeared. So I remember the night, so he, the stop that he dropped me off at, that was outside of my apartment complex. I remember I was just waiting there, like that night, like I was just waiting there, I was just chilling there, you know, cause I knew he was coming.

Speaker 1

So I'm waiting there, I'm waiting there, I'm waiting there, and he pulls up and I remember I had baked cookies for him and I was like I just wanted to say thank you for just taking care of me and always looking out for me, and he was the sweetest man, it was just so sweet. We had a moment and we hugged. I was like my car is all fixed now. I don't need to take the bus anymore, but if I ever do, I'll look out for you. And he was like, well, I'm just glad I could help and it was amazing so.

Speaker 5

This is how I know. Men and women are just built differently, because if I stopped using the bus, I stopped using the bus. Nigga, that's it. I ain't think I'll see your ass ever again.

Speaker 1

But it was like clockwork, like it was like you know, like I took the same bus at the same time every night. It was a routine which I'd suggest single women do not have, because that's how you get stalkers and that's how you know we'll figure out. So don't do that Very routine ladies. Every day do something different, but Am I?

Speaker 4

even using this recording.

Speaker 1

I don't even know, we can just call it bus driver chronicles or some shit, because now, chris, you got to tell a bus story.

Speaker 5

I don't have a bus story. Well, yes, you do. I'm trying to think now exactly, or a transportation story.

Speaker 4

The MTA at its finest at its finest.

Speaker 1

And first of all, I don't understand who's email lists. Or did I get on because the MTA is sending me a request to take the MTA survey every month? Take January survey.

Speaker 4

February survey List and you've never, you've never used Omni right.

Speaker 1

No, I refuse, I do not want them in my phone.

Speaker 5

Yeah, she said, she mentioned that before I did.

Speaker 1

I do not want to invite them into my phone. I know that they could get in if they wanted to, but there's it's the same thing. Where we're not the same Invite, the same thing. It's the same principle that I have when I refuse to do direct deposit For my tax refund, but eventually I had to. But like I know that they can have, they can get into my information if they wanted to. I know that they can, but there's a difference between them Getting into my information and me inviting them into my information.

Speaker 5

You know what invite they?

Speaker 1

they all at the club, I know, but if I invite it, then I'm, then I'm compliant in it. Okay, that's how I feel, so anyway, you know it's it's.

Speaker 4

It's so interesting Because this just brings it back full circle. I don't know if you plan on having a conversation with your therapist about this, but you do this, blair, you've really, which is a good thing, but then it's a disservice to you because you, you, you're worried about how we're gonna feel, or how the bus driver would feel, based on whatever is going on with you. You got a car, you don't care about that.

Speaker 5

So cute, so sweet it's because, meanwhile, I can't really remember what's driving. Look like.

Speaker 1

But like even back when it comes to think about it. Think about being a Well, you wouldn't know, but like being like a 20 year old single woman.

Speaker 2

Okay.

Speaker 1

Like a 20 year old single woman and having somebody who Essentially looked out for you, cuz he was the last bus of the night on that route, like there was no other buses after him, so if I missed that bus, that was it.

Speaker 4

I had to walk home just as long as you never said to him Uh, drive the bus. Mr Bus driver from the Tyler.

Speaker 1

Bus man, mr Bus, the bus driver speaking of Tyler Perry. That's what this episode is gonna be. It's just gonna be speaking of have y'all watched me a car? I haven't watched it yet, but I have seen social media's response.

Speaker 5

I hear people are ups the fuck sense.

Speaker 4

Yes, and I don't know what it is, but I just love being black.

Speaker 1

What up dough? It's your girl, blair. You know, my melanin was popping yesterday, it's popping today and it's shown up gonna be popping tomorrow.

Speaker 5

It's your boy, red, and you're listening to the highly melanated podcast.

Speaker 4

Yes and I say, guys, welcome back to another episode of highly melanated podcast, the safe space where it's okay to just start Rambling on and just vetting, letting shit out.

Speaker 1

PJ here, just hear scratching my back with an actual back scratcher people that's scratcher. Red is sitting here drinking my protein shake, trying to get back on my grind and Blair started off trying to Talk to my co-host about a serious topic and somehow we ended up here.

Speaker 4

As per usual okay, so back to what we were saying. What were you saying?

Speaker 5

Me culpa.

Speaker 4

So okay, so I have posted this on my Facebook and I was like all right, I'm four minutes and 52 seconds in and I just can't Five minutes wait. I'm not even. I paused it and I just said, okay, I can't, because it was at the very beginning. It was just like why is? Why is this reminding me of? Like every time I'm here?

Speaker 2

what is it?

Speaker 4

about it? I don't know, because okay, so I watch, you can just watching it. I watched 30 more minutes. Yes, I stopped when she started having an orgasm on the bus and I just said you know what?

Speaker 1

Spoiler spoilers spoilers for anybody who has not watched it.

Speaker 4

It's okay, I haven't watched it yet. And I, you know, and I'm good with never getting back to it. I only really watch it to see Kelly's performance because I love her as an actor and she did Really good she was and when I was scared about you what she's gonna say. No, I'm never gonna disrespect. Kelly's a really great. She actually did really great because that's that's.

Speaker 5

Beyonce is bestie friggin. I would, I would never, Respect up.

Speaker 4

I would never disrespect any of the Destiny's children, except for her. She's not even a child, she's a cousin. But here's the thing like it was, complete spoilers. I don't care. Yeah, don't waste your time, don't waste your energy watching this movie. I mean, maybe it got better. I don't know. Trevante was just being a Typical dark skin black man in in this movie, all aggressive With you know, trying to get her to paint something's like those eyes. All right, no, put the brush down. Nothing it was. I don't. I don't know what the rest of it is. All I know is that it was annoying, also with these music beds, because talent, like you know, music playing under the scene, oh, and it just would just like it was. This doesn't need it. Why, why is? Why is it dramatic music? Why is this white woman talking to these black women like this? Why is this okay? Why? Why does that have to be her character? What, what, tyler? Why? And I? So? I, just, I, just, I just, I just couldn't. I tried. Kelly looks amazing. She's beautiful.

Speaker 1

He's beautiful gorgeous she could turn.

Speaker 4

I might let you know. But respect, for she's a married woman. I happily married woman, ok, but I just couldn't. I just couldn't. I'm sorry, that's my report.

Speaker 5

Wow, that's crazy.

Speaker 1

I have not heard anybody say Any good things, except for good things that they liked the movie. I have heard a lot of people say that Tyler Perry is Tyler Perry-ing, and I still feel like I want to watch it just because of nothing else. Whether you find it good or you find it not so good, I feel like you're going to be entertained.

Speaker 5

Well, and I think that's the thing right. You see how you didn't like it, pj, and I want to say many, many other people didn't like it. There's still that population of people that are out there that just want that cheesy, like to be grade type of film and because that's what they feel it.

Speaker 4

But you ever see this no.

Speaker 3

There's messages for Tyler Perry. If you are not Tyler Perry, you can continue to scroll. Listen to me, sir. Put your pen down. Put your pen and paper away, ok. Cut 20, 25 minutes into this movie, sir, and you're making my age. An orange act up Like I'm itchy, ok.

Speaker 1

The rock Not my age, an orange.

Speaker 3

Would have got a head rock. Matter of fact, I would have just turned around and left. Ok, but the disrespect when Kelly said pick a bill, pick a bill. And then you can tell me what I can and can't do. Because what? What are you talking about, sir? You don't want me to take on this case and you're not bringing in any funds, any duckets, any cabbage, any green, any income. See, tyler, don't piss me off. Ok, and I'm 20 minutes in and that's what is happening. I know you wrote it like that. And then you want to sprinkle the mama with a detrimental disease. That makes us feel sometimes, uh-uh, no man.

Speaker 5

I'm like no, but you know, but I don't think, did it not make money, see? And that's the thing.

Speaker 4

There's going to make money because he had that Watch that. It's going to make money because he's pandering to a certain group of people who loves it.

Speaker 1

Here's the thing. Here's the thing that I feel like is very interesting, and this is a lot of what things come back to in Hollywood and entertainment. All press is good, press right. The thing is, like people know, like this isn't the first Tyler Perry movie, film, television show, Broadway play that we've seen. We know what his formula is. He does not stray from the recipe and yet, and yet, people still watch. Yeah, People still are being a part of the conversation.

Speaker 5

It's funny how all of this kind of works in, because this was actually going to be my question a week. Well, question a week, question a week. Your question is that they pertain to you perspective and introspectively. So now that we're on the topic of money, my question is well, I'll get to my question. But I look at Tyler Perry and I think people are doubly upset at him because he has the means and money and finances and resources to make a really blockbuster film, right, but something like that will probably cost more money. So he continues to pander to these groups of people who really love Tyler Perry. So my question a week was what would you do with a million dollars, $10 million? Because I mean, we all have our dreams and aspirations and goals, but here you have Tyler Perry. He clearly has money, but he is making me a cool.

Speaker 4

So you mean so what if we had the money to make the script that we want?

Speaker 5

It doesn't have to be a script, but just what do you plan?

Speaker 2

What would you do with the million?

Speaker 5

dollars. What would you do? I mean, let's just say it was more, let's say it's a hundred million dollars.

Speaker 4

OK, because a million dollars, listen, it's going to about what 20,000 of that has to go to whatever debt I have, jesus Christ, and to get me and then I'll tell you what triggered this originally.

Speaker 5

It's just that this is funny how this tied in but $100 million.

Dreams, Investments, and Giving Back

Speaker 4

I mean $100 million, depending on my good graces of everybody, depending on if, once I do my inventory, whoever gets a million will get a million from me. This is what you get. What you do with it is what you do with it, but it's going to be a handful of people family included, the family's not getting more. I might buy my mother's house off, but I would put some money into trying to see if I can get something. I've been wanting to get made a script. Hire a writing room OK, and not just me. I will be a consultant, but I will here's the script Make a baby. This is the IVF. Is the IVF? Ivo, ibd, what?

Speaker 1

are you talking about?

Speaker 4

MBD. When you fertilize the egg, you're IVF.

Speaker 1

IBF yes, I would give it away. We was looking at you like what that's like?

Speaker 4

huh, no, but when you?

Speaker 1

did it. You said IBD. I was like non-deductible breakfast, like OK.

Speaker 4

No, I would give it away and say listen, here's my vision, here's what I would like. Let's see what we can come up with as a team and see if also I can help spearhead somebody else's project. That's what I would do, but I would also try to make sure that I would put a smear tally-peri campaign up together.

Speaker 1

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 4

I'm glad we keep it on topic because we're going to come back to him oh no I would keep it. I would hire Kat Kat Williams. I'm weak. It's still the year of the cat. I would bring him in main character.

Speaker 1

You know, oh god.

Speaker 4

And let it be what it's going to be.

Speaker 1

I need tally-peri to hire me so I can't be privy to this, because, look, if there's nothing else, he is loyal to his actors. Ok, he keeps them working and I love me.

Speaker 4

Keep them working and, you know, sexually OK.

Speaker 5

I think Blair safe, I would.

Speaker 1

I would close my ears to this conversation. I would make sure I would pay off whatever debt I have. I am hesitant to just give family and friends money and say, here, here's some money. I would like for them to let me know Like I would do whatever I need to do to investigate or like understand or know what debt people who are close to me have and I would take care of that. So, like you know, my friends, like I, would pay off their student loans, mortgages on houses and so. So that way, like basically whatever they're paying to us. So if it's car mortgage, you know, loans, credit cards, like whatever it is, like whatever debt that they have, I would take care of that. So that way, any income that they are making that they have coming in, they can spend it on me or wants not necessarily like it all has to go to needs or whatever and then we'll go from there to see like what they might get as far as like gifts or that kind of thing. But that would be the primary thing that I would want to take care of and I'd want it specifically to go to those things. Like I again me just being the micromanager that I am, I wouldn't feel comfortable just giving you know my mom a million dollars to be like here. Here's a million dollars. Do what you want with it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is what we're going to do. We're going to take care of whatever debt you got, so that way, that's taken care of and now you can focus on the things that you want to do.

Speaker 1

Ok, then, beyond that, I would also take a good portion of it and I would invest it. Obviously, I do all the financial smart things to do, the trusts and all of that and setting up for the future and, you know, like for nieces and nephews and all that, you know, all that stuff that you're supposed to do. And then, with whatever is left over I'm assuming like that's like the money that I would have to do the things that I want to do, like the things that are going to serve me in a positive way. I would fill my pilot and I would look for other opportunities to I'd probably start my production company and use that as an opportunity to provide access to the people who are around me, like laterally as well, so like people who want to be involved in a form of production or entertainment or whatever it is like being able to provide access and opportunities for them.

Speaker 1

And then, beyond that, it'd be nice to know that, like whatever other ideas I have coming up, I have the seed money for it. So, even if I don't know what those things are now, I know that financially I would be able to do them. So I would, I would appreciate the comfort that comes with, you know, not having to worry about how am I going to pay for it. So you can, you know, dream big or like whatever it is Like I would feel more I would be. I would love the idea of feeling like oh, I can try something, and if it's successful, great, but if it fails, that's OK, because it's not like, oh, I put all my money into this and it failed, and now what am I going to do? You know, like I think I would do a lot more because I would feel comfortable, because I know it's not gonna financially ruin me, and that would give me access and the ability to try out a number of different things.

Speaker 5

Right, that's really dope. And see, this is one of the things that I was looking for the feel goods where you're trying to like really uplift the people and do things around them. I mean, personally, I wanna travel. I would love to actually travel to every single country in the world.

Speaker 5

I don't know if that's gonna happen anytime soon, because everybody out there just fighting and carrying on, but you know, I would definitely like to travel. I definitely wanna give back to education. I think that's so important, and the reason why I brought this up is because I saw something on Instagram that came up that said there's a professor by the name of Dr Ruth Goatsman. She is a professor at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and she just made a donation of $1 billion and so none of the kids have to pay for tuition ever again.

Speaker 5

That's dope I think that was amazing. So here we have Tyler Pearly you know, making me a Koopa and then we have Albert Einstein of Medicine. So we can do both, we can do both, we can do both, we can do both.

Speaker 1

I just wanna do different spots for different folks.

Speaker 4

And don't get me wrong, like you know, I'm not gonna just give money out Like have a business plan. Let me see your business plan and I probably you know my brother's good with money like that, so-.

Speaker 1

What if they business plan is for them to just live a life of leisure? I plan I am here for it.

Speaker 4

However, I feel how do you plan on surviving on this chunk, this only chunk? I will give you Boom, but yeah, I guess I would donate too, cause I mean I need some tax write-offs. I would probably try to buy a team, also not a team, but you know, I would wanna actually put a lot of money into the arts in the high schools across the country. That is quite expensive. So you know, in all major black and brown cities, like you know New York, detroit, philly you know places that are all deserved and things like that.

Speaker 5

Because some of the stuff is like you know, some of the stuff is simple but people just don't have the knowledge for it. Right, like for a million dollars, if you do $250,000 in a high yield savings account at four or 5% each year, you're making about 10 grand. If you do that in several accounts, you can just live off of that and you can always have your million dollars. That's just the high yield savings. But you know people are not looking at that. So me and Cooper we don't know.

Speaker 1

We don't know, I'm gonna try.

Discussion on Tyler Perry Films

Speaker 4

I love how you're being an advocate. I'm gonna try it one more time. I'm gonna try it one more time.

Speaker 1

Maybe he is like big into philanthropy and none of us just know it.

Speaker 5

Absolutely, absolutely. I only kid, because a lot of people we don't know what kind of philanthropy they actually do, and I wish that people would like leave people alone a little bit more, because they're.

Speaker 1

Leave Brittany alone.

Speaker 5

They did chairing, but well, no, she dancing around with knives and stuff like that, come on you need to go check on Brittany please.

Speaker 4

Please. Speaking of Brittany. You know, but I'm gonna watch it. Speaking of Brittany.

Speaker 1

I'm gonna watch it too. I will be watching Brittany, just like that last one that he came out with.

Speaker 4

I don't know Trash.

Speaker 1

Stop it With the woman who was having the relationship with the younger man that it came out that he, oh my God, any Tala Berry movie.

Speaker 5

Can I tell you I was sitting here watching that shit the entire time and I was just like my mouth was a gape the entire time Like A gape.

Speaker 4

I love that word.

Speaker 1

What was the name of that movie? Hold on, I gotta find it and again, again. Why did I watch?

Speaker 4

this the opinions and things that are coming out of PJ's mouth are from PJ and PJ alone. They do not represent highly-.

Speaker 3

A fall from grace Assholes bitch.

Speaker 1

Okay, that movie had Ms Felicia Richard in it. Okay, Acting a fool.

Speaker 4

But she was in it. She wanted to be a villain, okay.

Speaker 1

Now, for nothing, people be signing on to his projects. Okay, that's all I'm saying, and I'm trying to be one of them.

Speaker 3

I'm trying to sign on yeah, I'm taking it.

Speaker 5

You know, Absolutely Sign me up. Same here. Somebody asked me that they was like would you work? I was like, yeah, I would, absolutely I would, because it just gives you opportunity. I ain't got no ifs, ifs or what's about it.

Speaker 1

I'm here for the experience, I'm here for the check, I'm here for the exposure. What lines do you need me to deliver? I have a.

Speaker 5

And what's crazy about it? You might learn a thing or two. You've been sitting there and you'd be all like, oh, I didn't think of it like that, I didn't do that. I should have did that, but now I will. I'm telling you.

Speaker 1

I'm telling you he Look, people want to talk about him, all that they want, but he's doing a lot of things right?

Speaker 5

That's like that's like what people like you know be making fun of Tooby and I'm all like, but they on our channel.

Speaker 1

But they got their stuff on TV, didn't they?

Speaker 5

Okay, like glitches and all.

Speaker 1

The Tooby movies be cracking me up. I gotta find the clip of it. But it was somebody. It was this woman that was coming down the stairs with a knife and, like the guy I saw, that. Like shoot at her and he like shot at her like bang bang. She said bang bang and kept going and she got hit and she said ah, ah. And then she's still coming with the knife Like I was like whoo chair.

Speaker 4

What if we were to just make a Tooby spoof movie?

Speaker 5

Oh my God, I would love it.

Speaker 1

It's supposed to be that. I think this is how it's being hilarious. I feel like we should do that.

Speaker 4

I would do it, let's do it.

Speaker 1

I can't write it PJ.

Speaker 4

The sadness pours over his face Boa boa, boa. Because I you know I don't want to talk too much about Tyler, but I get it, I get it, but it's just still the same thing. It's just just hand somebody else the pen.

Speaker 5

You want more of him because of who he is and he's like no.

Speaker 1

He's like no, this is what you go and get.

Speaker 5

This is what you get.

Speaker 1

This formula has been working for me for umpteen years. It has made me the multi-millionaire that I am. Why would I fix something that clearly ain't Now?

Speaker 5

if Picking up this old ass pen what if, like, I've had this pen since 1978. And it never steered him wrong.

Speaker 4

It's got me where it is. And now what if he was to make a stellar movie out of the blue that he wrote? Impossible, that he wrote with help, no shade. I mean listen, tyler, listen, if you ever would Please like no shade after that. Cause that was all shade. No, no, no, it was no shade, but it was all tea.

Speaker 1

Okay, but if we need to to to understand the definition of shade Cause that sounded like shade to me, but continue.

Speaker 4

Listen.

Speaker 1

If you were to write, if you were to write a stellar movie.

Speaker 4

A stellar movie, like an Oscar winning movie, right, and it was really good, but the masses hated it. But it was actually Like the masses, meaning black folks, we hated it, but he made it and the white people, whoever else, ate it up and loved it and became one Oscars and stuff. But Just like if he wrote a what if he wrote a SawSankt's Redemption kind of movie?

Speaker 5

Sounds like this normally happens. What do you? What are you saying?

Speaker 1

I don't know, I just I just want to be a residential fact checker here and just just to make sure everybody knows that Tyler Perry does have an honorary Oscar. Just saying.

Speaker 4

Well.

Speaker 5

I mean, but, I mean, but okay. So let's just say Honorary Oscars.

Speaker 4

And never know cause, I was about to go into a whole Greek.

Speaker 5

I'm just, I'm just saying let's just say that he did make a blockbuster film and it was great and all and all the white people loved it and all the black people hated it. Okay, it's the way you said it.

Speaker 2

I mean, like I know you said the exact same thing, I said that was the exact same thing you said.

Speaker 4

That was so funny what you said, and all the white people loved it.

Speaker 2

Because it's the truth.

Speaker 1

He's not making movies for. He's making movies for the culture.

Speaker 4

He's making no, he's making movies for people who who don't get good cell service.

Speaker 1

So First of all, mia Copa Hello hello, hello. Mia Copa is on Netflix.

Speaker 4

Yes, and it's on. Okay, what else is? What else is? Sharknado is on Netflix, so what is that?

Speaker 1

I'm just saying you got to have, you got to be a subscriber to have Netflix. That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 4

Or someone's password, you can have Metro PCS. It's the day. It's the day that I swear to God, if I have a dream like this and I think I might I get a call from the both of you saying that you both were casting something and I'll, and then I'm gonna be sitting. Like you know, when Thor got fat in Endgame, I would be sitting in like that while y'all are out there.

Speaker 2

I'll live in our best calipari provided lives.

Speaker 5

You gonna be like where you at Atlanta.

Speaker 1

Eli, I'm filming on the soundstage. I'm filming in the Will Smith section.

Speaker 4

I was just so it's so funny. I'm so glad you said that, because not even Will Smith, but I was watching Mr and Mrs Smith, Donny Glover's Donald Glover.

Speaker 1

That's good, it is so good it's good yeah, but I've been, I've been saying it looks good.

Speaker 4

I am not gonna lie, and there's a portion of it. Blair, cover your ears. There's a scene when he's doing something in these underwear. I had to pause it, turn off of my caption and have a little session with myself, cause. So wait, wait, wait, wait, he's he's, he's, he's, blair.

Speaker 3

Why don't you sign out?

Speaker 4

Let's take a couple of your ears, girl. I, I, I. I had to rewind it, oh my God, and get it back and make sure the captions were off.

Speaker 5

So wait a minute. I only I only watched episode one. But let me tell you something Come back, come back, blair. Come back, blair. Come back Aside from the aside from them, just acting like I'm so proud of Donald Glover, I am so proud of him. No, no, blair, you can come back. I really, I really am, because he is. I'm looking at his, his acting chops, I like they're like, they're like really, really good.

Speaker 5

I was sitting there watching it and then and then, just the way that he he's even carrying himself, like, like, how you know, pj just said he had to have a whole moment with himself. I was sitting there like, okay, okay, the Donald, this is not the same Donald Glover, this is not the same he's, he's, he's doing-.

Speaker 4

I want to work with Donald.

Speaker 5

And and and the young lady. That's what I want to work with the other protagonist in the story, his wife. She's good too.

Speaker 4

Ms Erskine.

Speaker 5

I mean, I mean I'm really having a good time watching it. Good job, donald Glover and our cast.

Speaker 4

And so, and Mr and Mrs Smith is one of my favorite movies.

Speaker 1

I love it.

Speaker 4

And they did very well. You know, it starts out a little okay, but kind of get a little predictable, and certain points of it I think I figured it out and I was like, okay, this you only see-.

Speaker 1

You're talking about the movie or the TV show?

Speaker 4

The TV show.

Speaker 1

The.

Speaker 4

TV show is really good. It's really good.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I like to watch it.

Speaker 4

Yeah, like right now I'm watching the Last Airbender. Is that good? I was going to ask you. So I was going to ask you if you haven't watched it yet. So I have not watched Avatar like the original, so I'm coming into it completely blind and I like it. It is cute, isn't? That cute, it's cute.

Speaker 5

Yeah, don't tell me that, if we can take you away and bend you over some rocks, just as long as Donald is there.

Speaker 4

That's the scene that he was on. I don't think that's the same movie. It's not the same show.

Speaker 5

Thank you very much. Hold on, let me Google.

Speaker 4

Let me show you this. Do you got to bring it up? No, you know what? Let me get my phone. I mean, I'm sorry, but also, he's actually Donald Glover is actually extremely attracted to me. No, I mean, he's a good looking guy.

Speaker 5

But this show he's leveled up, definitely. I'm just. I'm so impressed by his acting chops. I'm just so impressed. I'm impressed by his acting chops though. Yeah, good, that's what's getting me. You know from where he started from and where he's at now. I'm all like fuck, what acting classes are you taking?

Speaker 1

You gonna find it.

Speaker 4

No, because it's not available.

Speaker 1

I'll go back to the you look so dejected.

Speaker 4

What episode is that? I got to remember? It's the episode.

Speaker 5

no, it's like You're gonna tell me I need to just watch it anyway.

Speaker 4

Yeah, you'll see what I'm talking about. There's a specific scene he's showing her something and he's in his underwear by some water.

Speaker 5

This is America, tidy whiteies.

Speaker 1

It's America.

Speaker 4

And hold on print. I mean, it's not a whole lot going on there, but she'll play a lot of it off Stop mentioning this turn.

Speaker 5

She can't deal with it or doesn't want to deal with it. I don't know what. It's one of the not with it. It's one of the nots, the canto won't, but either way it won't, shouldn't. I don't even know what I'm talking about. It's not Stance.

Speaker 3

Stance oh.

Speaker 4

Well, so, guys, understand that we love you guys and we know that you guys are here. Our frequency may change a little bit, but we are still here. You know, that's all, and I think it's important. Shout out to Kid Fury and Crystal, me and Beyonce, and they was like you know what. This is the final episode.

Speaker 1

And that's it. Name up the girl. We've done all we can. Yeah, we have ascended. Yeah, we've done. But, they made it. No, I'm actually. They did what they came to do.

Speaker 4

And so also also so shout out to our Big Brother podcast, the Coding 40. I've already dubbed them that they have just come back from their hiatus and they were gone since November September actually and just came back and it's sometimes breaks are important. We've discussed this. We go through this every January, you know, and then what happens is what's gonna happen again if you know, one of us is booked to go somewhere for a long period of time. No, guys, I can't do it. I have a podcast to do.

Speaker 1

Oh no, that won't be my answer. I'm sorry. I love y'all, I promise, I love y'all. I do, I do, I promise, I love y'all forever. Listen, we're gonna be gone baby. I say, I will bring my wife with me. We'll text each other, I say that's the beauty of being able to be remote.

Speaker 5

I might get on a phone, on a like a little video call.

Speaker 1

You will get on our Zoom.

Speaker 4

Listen you in this wig. This is the last one I have that's still in good standing.

Speaker 5

Well, what happened to the other ones? Why are they in bad standing?

Speaker 3

Right.

Speaker 4

Brumble them up like this and just put them in the closet. Don't take it. But this is why they take it.

Speaker 1

You got to take care of your hair now. You got to, you got to, you got to.

Speaker 4

Oh, rest in peace. Eric Mays, you got to, you got to man. Oh God, oh man, those were the funniest clips. Nick Fugh, I think his name is on Instagram where he would mock him with the little wig piece.

Speaker 1

Oh boy.

Speaker 4

You know what I'm talking about, right?

Speaker 1

I don't recall.

Speaker 3

City of Flint. We have got to move the city forward. We have got to vote yes on this. Thank you, ms.

Speaker 1

Hurtenroder you the reason that I'm going to vote the way I'm going to vote is because you got to put words in my mind about the other thing that you said.

Speaker 4

You got to stop doing that. You got to stop doing that.

Speaker 3

I'm going to vote more. Do I have a poor? Do I? Yes, you do.

Speaker 1

Yes, you do. Thank you, wait a minute, he passed away.

Speaker 4

Yeah, he passed away. Oh, no, oh.

Speaker 1

Rest in peace and Nick.

Speaker 4

Fugh, he's the guy that works with Tab of the Brown, nick Fugh, yeah Listen, just got worried that one of our frat brothers passed away. You know, after dealing with, like you know, reneara's dying passing, and like I am, we're not gonna no, mm-mm, it ain't going to be me today. But you know, I just think that we owe ourselves to do what's right for ourselves and I support each and every last one of you, even though Chris still won't let me have any of his pops toys.

Speaker 5

But you know Hell no.

Speaker 4

You know, he did put them away.

Speaker 1

And that's that, ladies and gentlemen. So, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4

You know where to find us Good.

Speaker 1

Wait, I was on the bus yesterday.

Speaker 3

I was on the bus. Oh yeah, it's another bus tour.

Speaker 1

Yes, let's full circle it, because we have to start, like right at the beginning of my tirade. Yeah, that's the reason. Yep, yeah, start episode right there. And then, yeah, when we're 20 minutes in, we'll do the intro. Just don't even cut it to the way it's supposed to be cut, just let it fry. Let's end on the bus story, please.

Speaker 4

I was on the bus and I would sit there just scroll it through, like Instagram. And so I logged into our Instagram and I was just like, oh my God, why? Because it's been so long. I do log into it from time to time and comment, and I forward memes and gifts to that one so I can respond as the podcast.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 4

Because I've been right now I am at because I was doing this and I was staying as well as on the bus, because there's a person she Taylor made. She made a video about Bustelo Cafe, Bustelo, and I'm sitting here like, out of all the comments, I have like 19,000 likes from one comment that says Bustelo will have you solving equations that you never knew existed, and I'm like if I could only just do that with a highly melanated one, maybe.

Speaker 5

You just never know what it's gonna be. It's about timing. You never know what it's gonna be Because I did one recently on some posts and I said something but all I did was repeat it something because it was funny and like, 6,000 likes later, people are still and it's still like, I'm just like, and it's about a croissant, like, it's like mad random, exactly.

Speaker 4

Let it be about food. And lastly, instagram. I know this will never happen, I mean not in our lifetime. We missed the boat, if you ever feel nice or feel friendly enough, because I'm tired of opening Instagram, seeing something that I wanna comment on, accidentally closing it and then poof, it's gone.

Speaker 1

It's there we go Forever, or opening the app and it refreshes as soon as you open it, so like you get a quick glimpse of, like the first sentence in your timeline, but then it refreshes and it's gone.

Speaker 5

I'd be wanting to throw my phone. I'd be like I don't know what it is. It looked like it was good, but I don't know.

Speaker 1

I'd like to start to read the headline or the title oh, it's gone.

Speaker 4

I'm just gonna start screenshotting it as I open it, just to.

Speaker 1

So man anyway, oh yeah.

Speaker 4

Well, thank you for taking the time to listen to another episode of Highly Motherfucking Melanated. The same space where it's okay.

Speaker 1

End of sentence.

Speaker 5

It's okay.

Speaker 4

That's it, it's all the stuff I said before, you know TikTok Instagram, you know where they are Highly Melanated podcast. It's only hilarious, guys, because we know it is pretty hilarious.

Speaker 1

Low key, I'm not going to lie. Um, yeah, the email just been the same since day one.

Speaker 5

It's highly melanated podcast at gmailcom or you can come on over to Twitter, now known as X feel free to be the same since day one which has not been the same as day one. Yeah feel free to watch a Tyler Perry movie, or watch Mr and Mrs Smith, or spend a billion dollars. Give it to me and I'll find something to do with it, I'm sure at H underscore melanated.

Speaker 1

So, speaking of money, did you guys see the story about the guy out? I think it's in Jersey. He had a ticket that had the 385, 303 million billion, whatever it was, whatever that big jackpot was. They blah, blah, blah. He had the winning numbers See, the company that provides the advertisement for the winning jackpot numbers posted the wrong numbers to the website and so he thought he had the winning numbers because his numbers matched what was posted on the website.

Speaker 1

Three days later, the website took those numbers down and was like oops, that's a mistake. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, baby girl, I would, according to y'all, I would. So, I guess, like he went to go like collect his winnings the next day or redeem his ticket, and they're like this ain't it. And he was like what do you mean? This isn't it. He's like they were like this ain't it? He's like these are the numbers and he showed them the website and everything, this ain't it? So then he's like what the hell is going on? So, yeah, apparently, like that website had like the wrong numbers posted for three days and then took it down, I was like, oops, sorry, that was a mistake. He is suing, he leaving here or something.

Speaker 5

Okay, oh yeah.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, he is leaving with something.

Speaker 4

Especially if he quit his job Like I would Now, would you? How quick how quick, how quick are you quitting?

Speaker 1

Oh, I'm I have to. No, because I don't want people to know what's up Like. I never want anybody to know that I won the lottery, Like I. It has to be business as usual and I will fade to black Slowly away.

Speaker 5

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1

I will say I'm not going to be one of those.

Speaker 5

Because you, because because you know they can look your information up once you win. It's public.

Speaker 1

I know that's why, like immediately, like all of it is going in a truck.

Speaker 4

Depending on what state you're in. Some states you don't, but some states the state of New York.

Speaker 5

So fuck all them other states. I live in New York. They go look my ass up. No, thank you Okay.

Speaker 1

Be, banging on the lottery, christopher Regent.

Speaker 4

I'm going to Google right quick, can you Swiss?

Speaker 1

I know Christopher Regent.

Speaker 5

Please, yeah no.

Speaker 1

I saw that I was like oh he leaving here with something because y'all played in his face, listen even if, even if it was a million, that's great. He's getting more than he has to get more than a million dollars. He's got. He's got a. He's got to come out of there with some bread. Oh yes, here it is Okay Sorry.

Speaker 2

Carball organizers in Washington DC over a three hundred and forty million. I can't believe it. Three hundred and forty million dollar mistake, what? What Paper show? John Cheeks is suing the company that operates the lottery website after it posted the wrong winning numbers online. And he had those. He had those numbers, cheeks says, on the morning of January 7th, twenty twenty three. He was led to believe he'd become an overnight multi-millionaire. Of course you would believe that. Yeah, you saw the numbers on the website when he went to redeem the ticket denied. The company he suing says it was an accident and remove the numbers three days later. Three days later, cheeks lawyer says their client is entitled to the entire three hundred and forty million dollar prize. What's a man is suing power and he is and he is.

Speaker 1

I hope he gets it.

Speaker 4

Edwin Castro.

Speaker 1

What is this company that they fuck it up?

Speaker 4

They literally list names.

Speaker 5

Yes, it is public knowledge. Unless your state has something different, it is public.

Speaker 4

That's why people don't even know my last name, we know your last name, so just wait.

Speaker 1

Just you wait, anyway, anyway, peace loving, would you just drive this bus, man? I think that's what she says.

Speaker 5

Yeah, yeah, just bus man.

Speaker 1

Would you just drive this bus? Man, a boy scolding and the terrible way.