Highly Melanated Podcast

New Year: Still Melanated!

• Highly Melanated Podcast • Season 7 • Episode 1

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0:00 | 1:11:08

We hold space for grief, name the compassion gap, and still choose joy. Music, health, routine, and community become tools to slow down, show up, and build a life that feels like ours.

• naming the weight of public violence and empathy burnout
• finding joy again through concerts and daily music rituals
• health wake-up calls, meds, food, sleep, gentle routines
• comfort zones, control, and letting others help
• procrastination as fear; early starts and tiny rewards
• saying no, planning better, and protecting energy
• repairing bonds, hearing other truths, choosing closure
• honoring community connectors and everyday impact
• presence over pace; time as precious


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FEEL FREE TO EMAIL US @highlymelanatedpodcast@gmail.com

SPEAKER_02:

Bitch, I'm blackin' black. Bitch, I'm dark brown, bitch. Chocolate brown deep down to the stove black. Bitch, I'm so black, bitch. I like fried bologna sandwiches, bitch. Honey, when I'm home. Bitch, I'm so black, bitch. I like hot dogs, motherfuckin' fried on the stove, bitch. And to the one side of it black, I feed it a little black. Bitch, I'm so motherfucking black, bitch. I cut up spam, bitch. And I put it in salad, bitch, and I feed it to the other motherfuckin' black that don't eat pale. I'm so black, bitch. I didn't even wanna call the down this motherfuckin' synthetic wheat. You hear me? Bitch, I'm black. I'm following what the blackest motherfuckers walk about here on this motherfuckin' face. I'm following what the blackest motherfuckers. I'll take it out in black. I'm three on five black on the back with a job dope for the bottom sweet bitch. I'm black back with a fucking loop. Damn photos out there, up there, put the late feature to the brown black bitch up that black bitch on it with a rapity photos out there, rapid. I'm black, bitch, I'm black, I'm black, I'm black and black, I'm dark brown, dark, light and beige, fluorescent beige, bitch. I'm black. All colors of black. All shades of black. I'm good.

SPEAKER_09:

I don't know what it is, but I just love being black.

SPEAKER_06:

What up Doe? It's your girl Blair. No, not melanin was popping yesterday, it's popping today, and it's shown up gonna be popping tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01:

It's your boy Red, and you're listening to the Highly Melanated Podcast.

SPEAKER_00:

You busy ass niggas, flip up your niggas, cause I'm that nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga. I'm that nigga.

SPEAKER_09:

Hey guys, hey guys, hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Highly Millanated Podcast. The safe space where it is okay to I'm trying my best not to look at you, and I see this thing that you're doing, and it's distracted. The safe space to what, nigga? The safe space, you know what? The safe space to create the life you want.

SPEAKER_02:

Hey. Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_09:

It's the first episode of the year. PJ.

SPEAKER_07:

I can't. I love being black. You said it's the first episode of the year. In my head, I heard, it's the first of the month. Wake up, wake up, wake up. Wake up, wake up.

SPEAKER_09:

PJ is in desperate need of a hug.

SPEAKER_07:

Oh, virtual hug.

SPEAKER_01:

Virtual hug? Slip out of it, nigga. Fuck you, ho.

SPEAKER_07:

Hey, hey, hey. This is how y'all want to start the beer.

SPEAKER_09:

With violets, with violets.

SPEAKER_07:

Into the second episode, my bad. Can we can we ease into it, please?

unknown:

No.

SPEAKER_09:

You know who you work for.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, they know who they came here to hear. Okay. You're right, you're right. Red, red, uh, I'm here to give hugs to everybody.

SPEAKER_07:

That sounds like a hug. I want that. Sounded real violent, like.

SPEAKER_09:

Oh, you oh, you said hugs. I thought you said giving hugs to anybody. Hugs?

SPEAKER_07:

I don't think what happens. It sounded like I'm here to give hugs to everybody. Like, what? Yeah, that's true. It'd be just really hearty hugs. No? All right. What is it?

SPEAKER_09:

Progresso soup?

SPEAKER_07:

Okay. We are never gonna get through this. It's been a while, y'all. And Blair, I just can't we all just get along. Channel in our good friend Mr. King.

SPEAKER_01:

Listen, can you say say that again? Can't we all just apparently not?

SPEAKER_07:

Apparently not. And I'm sick of it.

SPEAKER_09:

Listen, this is this is what y'all voted for. This is what y'all voted for. Y'all being, you knew exactly who light skinned, unskinned, unseasoned meat people. Yeah, you are the light-skinned one of the group. Not you, not you. Um but so hey guys, it's it's it's it really feels like we haven't sat down with everybody in like forever.

SPEAKER_07:

Because we haven't.

SPEAKER_09:

We really haven't. We haven't we haven't said hello. We haven't like put a little feelers out. We've just been here out here living our life and trying to trying to survive in this new America. That's really been the same America this whole entire time. It's just slowly creeping up. Um but in the meantime, how's everybody doing? How have you guys been? Happy New Year.

SPEAKER_07:

Blair Lee's first. I feel like there's two versions of me. There's the version of me that's trying to just live a normal life, live my everyday life because bills still gotta get paid and the rent is still due and you know, life doesn't stop. And then there's the other version of me that's just taking everything in that's happening, and it's just in complete, like, not disbelief because it's obviously very believable, but just like so incredibly saddened that this is the America that we're living in. And I just I I again it's not disbelief because it's I'm not in a state of like, oh my god, how could this happen? Because clearly it's happened before, but it's just like it's just so incredibly disheartening and maddening that this is literally what we're living in right now. And to be clear, I'm talking about the the unhuman treatment of human beings and the outright murders that are happening by the federal government.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh I will um piggyback off of that. I I think I was we were mentioning earlier before we started recording. Um I actually personally don't have anything to complain about or anything that I feel is necessarily worthy of complaint. Um but I feel um I feel emotionally drained. You know, I'm I'm I'm a very empathetic individual and I've always been taught to hear and listen to people on both sides of whatever story or all other stories, because there, you know, there's that old saying, there's your truth, my truth, and then there's the the whole truth. Or and so I, you know, I I just it's just weird to watch people not care about that. There's a lack of compassion that's there, that's missing. Uh there's a because there's that that compassion is not there, there's a lack of understanding because they simpl people simply just don't have the same experiences. Um, and at the end of the day, we're all here to just, you know, do better, be better, and grow. And so it's it's it's mentally and emotionally draining to see a lot of the stuff that's going on. And um, it makes you not want to do anything. But I don't think I think even though that the this year started out really well, I think there's been a lot of moments where I felt like I didn't want to do anything, and that was the result of seeing and feeling some of these things.

SPEAKER_09:

I definitely agree. I can so here's the thing. You know me, I like to go in a bubble. Ever so often, and every single time I go into this bubble, I come out of this bubble, and it's always oh, great. Someone else died, someone else was murdered, something else happened to another black body, something else happened to, you know, and it's just when will it stop? When will it stop? Um and it won't, because remember, they used to eat us. So I don't know, we're not surprised and and that uh I really want people to understand that. Um but also I love how we are minding our black ass business and staying the fuck inside. I will say that. Um because we told y'all. And not y'all who are listening to us now because we know that you agree with us, but we told everybody else. Just saying for us to fight. Y'all do this. Okay. Y'all go and see. And hopefully, they're seeing, even though there's still people who are following behind, and you know, anyway, to get to get you know, ancient swollen ankles out of here. Um, I've been alright. Um it's always me of the three of us. Um but some of you may have may not know. Um, I finally made a decision to put to put my little buddy down. Um and so like that's been still, it's been almost what is it's been a month now? And it's still like I've had the dog for 16 years, you know. So and Chris, you'd you'd be happy to know this. Um, but I have been entertaining the thought and idea of getting a kitten. Oh man I I I have I'm I'm entertaining the thought. Um it's not that much we we can't say yes or no as of as of yet, but no, but well I so I'll say this.

SPEAKER_01:

If you if you do decide to get one, just you know, look at breeds and you know, and see what's easy to manage, and just know that it's a lot of patience. Because this one is well behaved, as I was telling Blair earlier. Comet. But comet would love a cousin.

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah, that black ass cat, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09:

But it's mostly because she's a black ass asshole. Okay. And she's she has changed since he's gone, so um I I've noticed it in the way this dog acts, and you know, so even though they really didn't really get along too well, she became the alpha dog um eventually, so he started to follow her lead. Um, but other than that, um it's the top of the year. A lot of us have lost people, a lot of us are grieving. Um, and I my prayer to everybody without going into any detail or anything personal, is that if your holiday season um was great, that's fantastic. If your holiday season had any type of um sadness attached to it, we are here for you. We're back. Uh we want to give you our love and condolences. Um and it's the new year. It's new year, same shit. You know.

SPEAKER_07:

Hopefully different shit.

SPEAKER_09:

No, it's already starting to show. Same shit. Same shit. Been trying not to. And speaking of trying not to, I am a member of something that I said I would never do. I joined Planet Fitness. Lunk alert.

SPEAKER_07:

Why did you say you would never join Planet Fitness?

SPEAKER_09:

Because Planet Fitness is not a gym. It is a social, it is a social environment with weights.

SPEAKER_07:

Well, sometimes that's needed.

SPEAKER_09:

Sometimes you can know get we get in what you can afford.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Listen, that's so that's what it is sometimes, but I will be saying lunk alert a lot now.

SPEAKER_09:

No, but so so here's the thing. So the gym that's actually close to me, the the now pure gym is 24 hours. So I will be going there. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And I think that they're doing that if they're fixing it up. So shout out to pure pure fitness.

SPEAKER_07:

All the blank fitnesses are pure gym now.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. So, all right, well. I guess my thought. You know, what we normally do. Question of week, question of week, question of week. Your questions as they pertain to you prospectively and introspectively. So we talk about often a lot of the um things that we are no longer carrying into the new year, right? And so now we've had about a month or so to think about what we're not carrying into the new year. But what are you carrying into the new year? What is your favorite thing about last year that you just have to have this year? And I'll go first just to kind of start it out, because I think this is about self-discovery. Um, and I think I told you guys before that I've always loved um, I've I love a lot of different things, but my love for music has not always been as solid as I want to. And something happened this year where like I want to explore that even more. I don't know, I can't tell you what exactly it was, but I feel like I've found a like a resonance with music. And I've been listening to a lot of different things recently. So that's what I'm bringing into this new year, a lot more music.

SPEAKER_07:

You know what, Christopher, aka Red, you always have a way of being able to like, because so before we press record, I was saying we need to hurry up and press record because we were talking about something that was gonna lead me into something that I have been dying to talk about, and then we had to go through a whole like rigmarole or whatever, and I was like, Oh, we might not get back to it, I'll let it go. But here you are, and you just made it so that it could just come back up again so seamlessly. So thank you. You're welcome, my lady. The thing that I and mine is also music. Um, I I've as I get older and as I move through life and um get more and more adjusted and comfortable to the fact that like my middle-ageness doesn't look the way that I originally thought it was gonna look like when I was in like my early teens and twenties and whatnot. You know, I I at that time I thought I was gonna be, you know, married and have kids and all these responsibilities and this set and a third. But what I'm really like digging into is that like I can do whatever I want. Like I don't have anybody that I need to be responsible to other than myself. So there's I need to in enjoy that because I don't know how long that's going to last for. So one of the things that I have been doing a lot of last year was I went to a lot of concerts um with um with friends. So I went to go see Usher and I went to go see Mary J. Blige, and um I went to go see uh Chrissette Michelle and I went to go see Maxwell, and I just went to all these like live shows, and it was just so much fun. And so carrying that into this year, um, one of my best friends and I, we have already booked our tickets. We are going to go to New Orleans to see uh Bruno Mars. We are so hype, so so hype. Oh, that sounds so exciting! It is, but the the thing I wanted to talk about was do you guys know that Juvenile has a new song out right now?

SPEAKER_09:

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_07:

Oh my god. Is it good? So it's amazing. Okay, it is I I don't know.

SPEAKER_09:

I feel like we gotta take a break really quick.

SPEAKER_07:

Here's the thing, and it's just always so interesting. Everybody always, once people really get to like know me, like know me, know me. One of the things that they say that they're always so shocked by is like my love for ratchet music. I love, I love it. Like they're just like, I just never thought that that was your persona. I love it. And you guys are looking at me crazy because you guys are like, well, just you know, we know. But like when you very first first met me, like, so that has a potential there. That makes sense. I could see it. So Juvenile has a new song out. It's called BBB, and it's amazing, and I can't stop listening to it. It's fantastic. And I wrote on his Instagram I said, a new generation is about to find out that Juve Bennett. Okay, been it. Love it. Fantastic. I think everybody needs to take a listen to it. I particularly enjoy listening to it while I'm at the gym on the treadmill, and I get my whole entire life. It's a short little song, it needs to be five minutes longer.

SPEAKER_09:

Okay, that's why I can play right now. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_07:

Okay, clip. Take a listen and enjoy. Okay.

SPEAKER_09:

Very nice. Thank you for that. So to answer your question, I so in previous years, um, I I am finally starting to really accept the fact that I love my alone time, but I am better with people. And I'm this year, I'm going to not be so like like cut off. I'm not gonna be so like into myself and like, you know, isolate isolation. Um I am taking like little breaks here and there from like social media. Um, I'll go live here here and there, but posting, not really. Um, but I'm really going to be present amongst people without my phone. And that's actually one of the things that I've done so far since the new year started. Like when I come home, I I I might be on my phone for a little bit, but I literally honestly I don't want to start. I want to stop doom scrolling and start like since now things are actually moving the way that I've been praying for them to move as far as like professionally, um, I want to put more focus into that. So I want to let go of the solid 2 PJ and get back into like the PJ of the community, the PJ that everybody, not everybody knows, but the PJ that like I light up when other people light up because they light up because they see me. You know, like I I I'm I miss that part. Yeah, I miss that part. Like and you know, also take much better care of my health. You know, I have started um my medication. Um my doctor. Shout out to my doctor. Um, I have a uh gay doctor that I've had for a long time, and he's been trying to get me on this uh on this blood pressure medicine and this um cholesterol medication for a very long time.

SPEAKER_07:

He said, Nigga, do you want to be here or not? What the fuck?

SPEAKER_09:

Okay, so I was like, no, I'm gonna do everything holistically. I don't want to get on this medication, and then you gotta take it for the rest of your life. Let me let me start doing some minor adjustments. First of all, one of the adjustments needs to take my fat ass to the gym. Have I done that yet? Absolutely not back then. So I did I did change my I did change my eating habits, right? So I don't eat as much. I changed my portion control, I adjusted all of the necessary things. Um and so he was like, darling, hold on.

SPEAKER_07:

And you just had a pudding cup for dinner, nigga.

SPEAKER_09:

And I went on the side. No, no, that is not dinner. That was I needed something. You said it was dinner.

SPEAKER_07:

You literally said, you literally said this is dinner. See, let's let's let's do it. That was we weren't recording.

SPEAKER_09:

We were not recording that because the fans kept saying so um see, see, no, you okay, so here's the thing. He said, darling, hold on for a second. Let me just save me some oxygen. And he slowly turned the computer screen and he was like, So this was you then. Okay. All right, you see where your numbers were? Uh-huh. And this was you three months later. You see how they just keep going up, right? You see how it's just going up and up and up. Yeah, yeah. We're gonna need you to start this medication today. And then he said one of the things that actually got me. And he was like, You know, you are one of my favorite patients, and every single time you come into this office, you you light up this office. You are a light natural. And I would hate to see it snuffed out because you had a heart attack. And I was like, oh God. Tell me so much more about how you love me. Like, okay, fine. All right. So let me, let me, let me, you know, and then thinking about like, you know, as as you get older, you start losing people, and then you think about impact. And like, I think more about the people I'm going to leave behind versus my life. So it's just like, I I would I would hate to do that to anybody. Um and I guess I would hate to do it to myself.

SPEAKER_07:

So thank you. I mean, my God.

SPEAKER_09:

But so I am taking better care of myself completely. The jello snack that she's talking about, ladies and gentlemen, I have been working with these motherfucking middle school kids. Let me come home.

SPEAKER_07:

You know what I hear?

SPEAKER_01:

You know what I hear? So excuses. Oh my god. Good good. Bless me. Thank you.

SPEAKER_07:

And that's all I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah. Well, you know, I'm better now. So now that I've had the the sugar rush that I needed. Um, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But but but but to add on to that, you know, honestly, that has to deal with you being able to slow down. And I think that's one of the things that has got me on this music trip. I it sounds like the same thing with you, Blair, that you've been able to just it really just enjoy things. And I know that I often do it a lot. I'll be thinking that I'm knee deep into something and I'll cut it short because I want to get on to the next thing and the next thing after that. We you we know that the time is finite, and so we try to rush through things, but you don't actually enjoy it. So I think what's starting to happen is that we're starting to slow down and and smell the roses, if you will.

SPEAKER_09:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_09:

And interestingly enough, I feel like me and Blair are switching because I'm starting to be like, what's the next project? Like, what's the next thing for me to do? Because I'm always stopping and smelling the roses. I'm always like taking my time, which is something that's important. Yes, and I do agree with you, but I want to do so much more than I think time is allotted for. So I'm learning the balance. I'm trying to figure out the balance in this new like, where am I in 45? And we talked about this as far as like the year 45, my years, like when my birthday comes. Like, what's what is the great thing that's happening besides the fact that I am now like working exclusively with a DOE vendor? Um, and I'm like pretty much in business for myself, like finally, and like really teaching podcasting and doing what I love to do, even though fuck them kids. But you don't mean that. I don't, I don't, but I do. You don't mean that. I don't mean it. I do not mean that, but you don't mean that at all. But you know, but it brings me joy, like even like today, like you know, like I these past couple of days have been like down, but like they actually do bring me joy. They were like the first time I smiled, besides when I had my kids here. So But yeah, I guess. So let me ask. Oh, there goes our black ass resident cat. Hey, comment. Hello, you got bored. And see, so so so so here's my thing. Ladies and we're gonna figure a quick detour. So I just talked about me wanting to get a cat. Here's my thing. Y'all cat owners do this where your cat just jumps in front of you, walks across your keyboard, and y'all do not say or do nothing for the most part. I would fling that cat so across the street, across his apartment. I would wake up with scars. I'm well aware.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, I was gonna say you have to train your cat. This cat doesn't get on the table. When have you ever seen Comet on my table?

SPEAKER_09:

I have never seen him on your table, but right now he is literally in in your sc in your camera screen.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, he's on my shoulder. This is his one of his spots, and I don't mind him sitting on my shoulder. And I would get off. Then you have to teach him not to be on your shoulder. I don't mind him, you know, he he's my he's my work buddy. So like when I'm sitting here at work or when I'm reading or doing something, he sometimes just sits here and reads with me. Right, comment? Hmm.

SPEAKER_09:

Look at me like what? So on that note, there you go. Because I'm sitting here like, hmm.

SPEAKER_04:

Things that make you go, hmm.

SPEAKER_09:

Because I was sitting here thinking about like, you know, it's been such a long time since we released an episode, you know. Y'all know how we do. And like, oh, let's do a new episode, it's the new year, let's talk about all that shit. Let's not. Like, we've been dealing with what we've been dealing with on the um I'm uh of the three of us, y'all know I'm usually the serious one. Blair is the fun one who wants to have fun games and do fun exercises.

SPEAKER_07:

I'm sorry, did he say he's the serious one?

SPEAKER_09:

I am the serious one. Yeah. I am for any of you who disagree. But I I I have a few questions I would like to ask y'all. Uh-oh. And no. So this is your fault because you changed it just now. So I'm like now rolling off the top of the dump. Um, because you talked about comfort. So in in this new year, in this new age, this new however we're feeling, and we're trying to make some moves and make some changes, and what what is stepping outside of your comfort zone look like for you this year? Is the question I I have for you. Y'all ready?

unknown:

No.

SPEAKER_09:

I'll go first.

SPEAKER_07:

Is that the question?

SPEAKER_09:

That's one of the questions. Apparently. Yeah, I'll go first. Alright. So, like, for me, it's it's allowing people to come to my house and cook in my kitchen.

SPEAKER_06:

Why?

SPEAKER_09:

I don't like people in my kitchen.

SPEAKER_07:

It's your kitchen.

SPEAKER_09:

I know, but I've had like so like okay, so like Corey and DeStrong were here, and like they were like, Can you sit down and let us cook for you? Like, I don't really like letting people.

SPEAKER_07:

I would go to your house if you wanted to cook for me.

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07:

I'm sorry. I'm not, I'm I I I see, I acknowledge your attempt to step out of your comfort zone. I may not understand it, but you know what? It's not for me to understand, it's for you to feel comfortable with to do, and I am in full.

SPEAKER_09:

And the only reason why I say the only reason why I say this, especially with that part, because I now become like a helicopter parent. I become like someone who's like annoying the shit out of you. If you said you were, I'm gonna come over to your house and cook dinner for you, and I came over to your house, Blair, and I said I'm cooking dinner for you, and you're like, Okay, cool. And as soon as I get in the kitchen, okay, so what are you doing? What are you doing? We that we doing it, we doing. How do you think that, right? Like that, I I'm working on becoming better at that. So that's one thing of my comfort zone. Like I'm trying, I'm I'm learning how to have less control and be comfortable with that. Because y'all know I'm a control freak. So I that's one thing that I am trying to figure this shit out. And I want this to be the year that I'm like starting to be more a little bit more free-flowing and like, you know, because I can't let anything stress me because you know I can't. So what about you?

SPEAKER_07:

I mean, I'm thinking about the question. And I I'm sure that like if you were to ask any of my my friends, they would probably be able to give you an answer. But I think for me, I want to stay more focused on how I move within my comfort zone as opposed to trying to move out of it, if that makes sense. Because I do feel like there are things that I am comfortable with that I can that I can adjust, that I can change, that I can do differently, that I can expand, that I can grow. Um, but I don't know, I can't necessarily think off the top of my head if there's anything that I'm like like extremely uncomfortable with that.

SPEAKER_09:

Maybe it's just me.

SPEAKER_07:

No, it's not. It's just a very valid thing.

SPEAKER_01:

It's a very valid thing. It's something that you don't actively think about because nobody wants to necessarily go there. Nobody wants to be uncomfortable. And so after thinking about it a little bit, I think what I'm trying to get. I guess I guess what I'm where I'm trying to push into in terms of uh being uncomfortable is sacrifice. That's something that keeps coming up in my mind because, for example, everybody knows for you know, all of our listeners and you guys know, like I have a nine to five. And as such, what happens is I'll do my nine to five. Sometimes I will stay longer because I need to do overtime or whatever. Sometimes I leave on time. But either way, what is the common theme is that I get home, I'm tired. I am now drained, and now the sacrifice is saying, you know what? I need to go to bed at a certain time. Either I am going to stay up or I'm not going to do X, Y, and Z. And I think that's what's tough now because as an artist, as I do more and more things, I have to find ways to find time to hone those skills. And I just don't have the time. No one has the time. You have to sacrifice something. And that's that's tough. Even, even like how you were talking earlier about your level of health and your fitness, um, I have to lose some weight. And um it means that I have to sacrifice eating what I normally eat. I don't eat terribly, but in order to get to where I want to be, which is about 30 pounds less, 40 pounds less, I have to sacrifice what I'm eating. And that's uncomfortable. That's always going to be uncomfortable because you want to do what you want to do.

SPEAKER_07:

What you're comfortable with, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_07:

I guess kind of along the same lines. Um I I want to get into a comfortable routine. And I guess that's the thing that's like I I feel like I'm good with doing things for a little while, and then one day I don't do it, and then that turns into the next day, and then that turns into the next day, and then all of a sudden I'm right back where I started, you know. So I I want to, and there's something about just like being able to like push past like that point. And I and maybe this isn't exactly like you know, breaking out of a comfort zone, like kind of um thing, but there are, and again, uh Chris, it relates back to what you were saying about just being tired. It's just about being tired and like making sacrifices for the things that like I say that I want and I know that I want, but it's like sometimes I'm like, well, how much do I really want it? Because I can just go over here and just, you know, take this nap or you know, eat this burger, or because that's that's real easy. I could just go down the street, get me a little sliced pizza instead of going into the kitchen and cooking food that I have. Um, so yeah, I I'll do really well with like a routine for a while, and then I'll fall off and have to start back over again. So I want to be able to push past that and just stay committed and stay dedicated.

SPEAKER_09:

So I'm hekes. So my routine has dramatically changed, right? So now I have I made the conscious effort, you know. I no longer really work with brick anymore. Um shout out to you guys if you're if you hear this. Um and it's for my own personal reasons plus medical reasons, you know, they were stressing me out, um, and I needed, I just couldn't do it anymore. Um I'm no longer driving as much as I used to because it was draining me. And as much as like I I I enjoy being part of uh people's funeral services, I enjoy that aspect of where I sit in that lane. Um but even though the energy, the energy could be heavy and it doesn't sit on me, by the time I get home, I am emotionally spent. Because I've I even though it didn't sit on me in their sadness and I wasn't crying, by the time I get home, I'm just I'm out of it, you know. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna make the effort to do this less, which gives me more time to sleep right, which gives me more time to actually cook. I have not cooked a big meal or even a meal. When I tell you in months, like I don't even know how I've been eating. Um and that's probably the reason why my cholesterol, all this stuff is so high, is because I've been buying out and you know, eating junk and eating stuff from the bodega or whatever have you that isn't good for you to eat on a regular fucking basis. Like ladies and gentlemen, hey, hey, New Yorkers, let's stop eating chopped cheese for breakfast. That's not breakfast. But do you, do you, hey, who am I to judge? I you know, you know, but I've been moving differently, and I can feel the difference, I can see the difference um in like my face, you know, and like I don't feel as tired, I don't think I look as tired. Um, and I've been trying to push myself to do something that I said I would never do, or not never do, but I've been circling the block to apologize or to not to to hear their side or to to have closure in certain places that um could still linger on into the new year, if that makes sense. You know, like admitting my wrong, like taking ownership and like not just like disappearing and ghosting people. That's a big one, you know, and so like my thing has always been you know what? I ain't got time. Goodbye. And as opposed to here's what happened. Let's talk about it if you want to. You don't want to talk about it, but let me just say this, and then we can move on or not move on. I've been trying to find new ways to do things that do make me uncomfortable, but growth comes from the other side of it.

SPEAKER_07:

That's the thing. I think like the growth is that's where it lies. So yeah.

SPEAKER_09:

Because there were things that people were saying to me that I mean, I recently had conversations with someone, and like I never even like thought about it in the perspective that they were saying it. And I'm like, you know what? I'm not sitting here making me out to be the you you're the villain and I'm the good guy. But perspective does change everything. And if you don't if you don't take the time to like shut the fuck up and let someone else express how they feel, then what are you gonna do? And I'm shut up. And I'm not always right, you know, just 80% of the time. See, I even brought the number down.

SPEAKER_07:

Look at that. Can we just can we just you know what? I will I will give you credit for that. Thank you. You did because it it started off at 90 and now it's at 80. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_09:

No, it started off at 98%. It's always been 98. 98%, right? You might see as people also need to I need to work on like I don't need to correct people.

SPEAKER_07:

Because I'll just go back and tell you at the before we recorded. I literally said 90% of the time, I'm right.

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah, I'm just talking about from P4. Um but it's like it I I was talking, I was talking to some I was talking to one of my cousins about this, and like my brother's about to turn 40, and now that we're all like on the fourth floor of life, like really moving differently than we did when we were younger, um, with the lessons that we've learned. And for me, it's just it's so safe. It's so comfortable. Like, I really am ready to leave New York with like a handkerchief and a stick, um, and just start over somewhere, like completely outside of my comfort zone. And just any places in my life.

SPEAKER_07:

I would say what would be outside of your comfort zone.

SPEAKER_09:

Um anywhere where it's outside of everybody's comfort zone. Maybe should, especially if you're black.

SPEAKER_07:

Um you would have find the two other black people that are there.

SPEAKER_09:

Okay, probably living on the same block. And they don't even have blocks, they have streets. Roads.

SPEAKER_07:

Roads.

SPEAKER_09:

You know, meeting moving to a place that doesn't have blocks. That's that's everywhere but here.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_09:

What are you talking about? I'm from the same block. What is the block?

SPEAKER_01:

That's very true. That's very true. Do you let me ask you guys this question? This this just came to mind. Do you guys find that there is a lesson or something that you keep repeating and you don't know why?

SPEAKER_09:

Okay, so I do know why.

SPEAKER_07:

I was gonna say, I feel like I know why.

SPEAKER_09:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_07:

Uh niggas ain't shit.

SPEAKER_09:

No, um, and so here's the thing. I am one of those niggas. So I am st I am starting to admit and be honest about like, you know, that was fucked up, right, PJ? Like, yeah, that was. And you know what? Own it. Yeah. Should I correct it? I should. And I've been slowly trying to. In any facet.

SPEAKER_01:

So this is this is part of what you were talking about before. Just slowly, slow change.

SPEAKER_09:

It's slow change. Uh uh anything too drastic is it's it's it'll walk it'll it'll it'll it's it rocks the vote too much. It yeah, and it feels like it feels like an addict who's going who has a relapse, right? Um and it's okay to fall off the wagon, right? If you still have a goal and you still want to attain this goal. And this is just I don't know where I'm going with this. But the idea is if you have a goal, what are you what are you what are your steps to meet your goal? How are you gonna do it? And you can't keep being around the same people doing the same thing, you can't be acting the same way, feeling the same thing. You can't expect to be in a good mood if all you listen to is sad music. You know, like little things, I guess. Does that answer your question?

SPEAKER_01:

No, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_06:

I was just Did you have an example in mind for yourself?

SPEAKER_01:

Um I think it's one about um I think it's one about confidence, and I think the reason why I keep running into that is because every time that I've mastered something, it's then a new level of whatever. Like I'll give a perfect prime example. Like I think last year with entertainment was one of my busiest years. And so, like, because of that, I had reached a I'm I'm at a different level right now. And so I'm on this new level, and I'm like, damn, how do I talk to these people? Or like, how do I now network beyond this? And it always makes me like relapse and have imposter syndrome. Um, and not necessarily actively, and not necessarily for long periods of time, but it's constant, it's a constant revisit. Like I like it kind of it kind of pisses me off sometimes because sometimes I'm like, how come I can't just power through this? Wait, as we all know, it's steps. So I'm not not mad at it.

SPEAKER_09:

It's it's so funny because you said something that leads into something that I wanted to add. Like I wanted to add the conversation of like, it's okay to move slower this year. Like you don't always have to be doing something. You don't always have to. But mind you, not too long ago, I was like, what's next?

SPEAKER_07:

Like And you know what's funny is I was just about to say, I think one of the things that I am Aiming to do this year is somewhat related to moving faster because one of the things that I'm a very organized, very detailed person. I love a schedule. I love, you know, a checklist. I love a to-do list. I love, you know, the organization that comes with all of it. So one of the things that I love about, you know, this world of like acting and and modeling and, you know, auditioning and whatnot is they always give, you know, very, you know, specific uh requests and they tell you what it is that they want and how they want it and when they want it. And the when is has been messing me up for a while. The when. Because I'll get an audition, and let's say I got I get an audition today, and they're like, okay, this is due on Friday at six o'clock. My silly simple self will wait until Friday at five o'clock to turn it in. And I'm like, I why am I doing this disservice to myself?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I'm so glad you didn't know. Why am I doing this?

SPEAKER_07:

And I have been telling my, and I have other actors and other people like telling me, like, why, like, do it, and they even say in the notes, like, early submissions are are encouraged. And I I'm so that is my thing that I am really trying to hold myself accountable to this year is sending in on not waiting until the last minute. Like I always get everything in on time, but like there's no reason why I need to wait until the last minute.

SPEAKER_09:

I think that's a good one. And you know, were you about to say something?

SPEAKER_07:

No, so that's that's that's it. And so I I to that end, I have been and I think it's a lot of things because it's just like um there's so many like moving pieces that I always have to try to like figure out with it. Like, okay, like I gotta get, you know, a reader and I have to, you know, like f make sure I do it in the morning because I record in natural, you know, daylight because I don't like using like artificial light, blah blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_09:

All these things that like because you're so beautiful in the sun, baby. I need y'all to know who she is, y'all.

SPEAKER_07:

Thank you. But like I and and all of this could just be excuses at the end of the day because so far, what is this, January 27th? Like, so far this year, I've had you know a couple of like auditions that I've like set that that like literally, like I would get it and I would do it the next day and send it in. And I'm like, there's no reason why I shouldn't have been doing this this whole time.

SPEAKER_09:

So let me let me say this, right? So as the as the emperor of Procrastination Land, um I know all too well, I think we all do, but like even when like when it comes to producing this podcast, right? Like, uh I'll edit it later, I'll edit it later, and then later turns in we still have that damn what makes you a good boy, a good guy episode. Still Oh my god. Exactly. And now because I've waited so long, I can't find her. She's here, she's in here, but like I'm I'm I gotta look. And this is because what happens when you wait and say, I'll do it later, I'll do it later. And what's been helping is I have been doing these little rewards, you know, like okay, I'm gonna do this for 10 minutes, and then I'm gonna do something that I really like. And so, like, this is my reward eating a jello pack. And you know, then once I'm done with that, I'll go back to work for like another hour or so, or you know, and start fixing up the curriculum for the students. And then once I think I've I've done this for a certain amount of time, I'll play a game for like maybe three games. I'll like, instead of like losing myself in the in the uh I'll do it later. I'll do it later. Oh shit, it is 9 30 at night, and I gotta be up at five, you know, and still needs to get done. So it's like but what is it?

SPEAKER_07:

I you know, I think procrastination is something that like so many people struggle with, and I just wonder like what it is about procrastinating that we all kind of like have a level of comfort with it. Like there's something comfortable about it, and I don't like that.

SPEAKER_09:

And I think it has to do with the fact that we have this misconception of time, like it's granted, like it's owed, like we have it, like it's like I'll do it later. Like there's there's and that's like assuming that later we'll be here. Later we'll be here, here today, gone today, you know, and like we are already January 27th as we're recording this episode. Um, and so it's it, I literally feel like we just had the conversation like like yesterday, but like it's been days, you know, it's been weeks, you know, so it's just like I'm trying to make sure I try to be better with this, but also um being realistic, okay? Like it ain't gonna change overnight.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, some of it, some of it um I've heard is also a fear of you, you fear you're you're fearing about something about it. And so you try and like avoid it. And I know for me, when I'm doing things like auditions or so on, there is several fears that come up that they're not all on the same playing field, but they are enough of them collectively that make me want to like avoid it. So it's the fear of wasting too much time on it. Because you know, we know that sometimes we do an audition, it was like, damn, it's not right. Then like 27 clips times later, you you you did it, and you're all like, I would I wasted all that time. Like, oh my goodness. Then or the other ones were great and you lost the feel, you went in a different direction, and you know, and honestly, sometimes the first one or two is the best ones, but you know, you know, it's the fear of that, it's the fear of you know being you know, mild rejection. It's the sometimes it's just a lot of different types of fear, but it is it is it is very annoying because it's like if I didn't come in and just sit my plop my ass down and just got right to it, I would have been done at eight and I would still have to still have time to do whatever else it is.

SPEAKER_09:

Like even okay, so like when we're done recording, and even though like this isn't on my zoom, it's just whenever I get the files, I will start editing it, you know, as opposed to all right, I'll do it tomorrow. So we can put it out on Thursday or put it out whenever we're gonna put it out. Um, and then here it is four o'clock in the fucking morning. I'm like, hey guys, I just finished it. And y'all like, nigga, you ain't sleep because I waited till last minute. I want I want to make sure that like you said before, Blair, and and like I said, this is one of my one of my themes for last year. Um, and so I'm about to ask this question in a second, but like if you fail to plan, you plan to fail, like really moving into that and really like okay, so how can we set this up? And I'm grateful for the person I'm working with um because she has actually really helped me organize better. You know, just no, just so she can organize drive a little bit better. You if you hear this, you know what I'm talking about. But you know, so because my God can we put some folders? But you know, I want there are so many things that I want to accomplish and want to do, and know that I can. Um, but in order to do them, I have to take it seriously. I have to also make the necessary space and also sacrifice and by and the biggest sacrifice sometimes is just saying no when I know I can't do something, but I want to because I know that they're coming to me for something, and I love to be needed. That's just the thing that I have that I'm working through. This need to be needed. Um so like hopefully we'll hopefully this time around this year it'll be different, and hopefully, uh we'll have a a licensed professional who's welcome to come back and talk to us about this part of procrastination and give us some like necessary steps on how we can be better about that, you know. Blah blah blah. You know.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I you know, one thing I'll say is this.

SPEAKER_09:

Um, he is standing he is standing on your shoulder.

SPEAKER_01:

Go ahead. Sometimes when I was sometimes when I'm walking around, he's standing on my standing on my shoulder.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_07:

He was knocked out a minute ago.

SPEAKER_01:

I know. Um, one of the things that um I will say about sacrifice that I'm kind of like sometimes um worried about is that like I'll just get so like deep into it that I'm not having any fun and I and I don't like it. And so I'll tell you guys a secret. Well, you guys might already know, but I'll tell the audience a secret. I used to think, I used to question whether or not I really enjoyed acting. I used to really think that I didn't like it. Because with just like with all things, there is a hump of work that you have to do in order to get into it. And I don't I don't necessarily like that hump. I don't like doing something and it's wrong. I don't like doing something and and it's complex and you know, I'm not getting it right. Like we all want to do things that we're really good at and like we can just do and we're natural at it. Um, but it takes work, and I think that's the the the the key to a lot of things that you want to do or wanna love and want to appreciate is that you just have to go through the work. It seems terrible right now. It seems like you don't want to make the sacrifice, but I think it's all worth it. And I think it's really been paying off, not just for me, but even looking at you two when you guys are doing different things. I'm just all like, oh my god, they're here now and they were there, and now I can't wait until they're over there now. And so um, you just you just gotta keep chipping away at it.

SPEAKER_09:

So while we're chipping out away something, let's celebrate something that we've actually done that we have chipped away at, okay? Ready? I'm happy and I'm chipping away at every fucking thought. Doesn't need to be an outside thought. I'm worked on that. I'm working very actively on that, and I'm really proud of myself because a lot of things have stayed inside and not come outside and be like, Y'all didn't need to know that. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say interrupt you with this. You know, I've been doing much better with being in my head and staying in my head instead of like letting every thought be. Unless I had an edible.

SPEAKER_07:

I wish I had a free bag of chips.

SPEAKER_09:

She was like, yo, so what about chips, nigga?

SPEAKER_07:

I wish I had a free bag of chips.

SPEAKER_09:

You know. Is there anything that you guys got?

SPEAKER_07:

I um so I I've been trying to be more mindful of having because like you said before, it's all about progression. And so I think like for me, I always kind of looked at like big picture things and like the big picture things that would make me happy. Um but and not to say that those aren't achievable, but like those those things come, you know, with a lot of progress. There's a lot of things that kind of had to be like you have to do this, then this, then this, then this to reach this larger, you know, goal. So what I've been trying to do and what I have been doing is just being more mindful about like the smaller things that bring me joy and like the the the things that I can do, you know, on a daily basis that brings me some type of like contentment. Um, so I even like made like a reminder to like put it on like this is like the the uh lock screen on my phone. It's just a reminder to make time for what makes me happy. And it's literally like just small, minute little things that we're gonna make time for Jell-O.

SPEAKER_09:

Well I want to open it so bad.

SPEAKER_07:

Please enjoy yourself. If it makes you happy, go for it.

SPEAKER_09:

No, but I need to be considerate.

SPEAKER_07:

But yes, for me it's about spending time doing small things for myself that make me happy.

SPEAKER_01:

Um I think I've been chipping away at having little moments and being able to like really explore and express them. So not only being in the moment, like somebody said I actually got a text message recently from one of our fraternity brothers that said, um, I haven't seen you post in a long time. I just want to make sure that you're okay. And um, which reminds me, I I didn't even get a chance to um respond back because I was at work. But he said that because um I stopped posting a lot and I'm gonna get back into it, but I wanted to experience, I wanted to explore, and I wanted to take the time to also express that. And I think one of the things that I really love doing is really expressing those things and the experiences that I have to help people out. I did that at work today. I was explaining to something something to somebody, uh another worker, and she said that really helped me out a lot. And I'm just thinking like I'm just talking because I just want her to have like a whole picture of it. I think it was about her becoming a supervisor or being a supervisory role or whatever. And I just use the experience that I have because I have a I have a fair amount of it.

SPEAKER_09:

And I because you would about see I'm not doing this, I'm not doing that great. I'm not uh inside thought, inside thought.

SPEAKER_01:

And um, and yeah, and yeah, and she and she really appreciates that. And sometimes I don't realize that people really do appreciate that, and I think I want to do that more. Like that'll be my contribution.

SPEAKER_09:

You know what else I want to do more of? Um I I want to I want to do more of what I want to do. Okay, do what makes you happy, and not even not even not even just that, but I want to do more of what I want to do, regardless of what uh someone else thinks I should do. You know, and let me learn whatever is needed to learn in this moment by me doing it. You could have said, hey, don't do that. I want to do I want to make more mistakes in order to learn. When I left Okay, so here's a here's a here's a thing, an exercise I do, and I do this every single time I go to Georgia, and I see my mom, and I leave. And before I leave, I write little stickies everywhere and I hide them. So one day randomly she'll like move some peas and see a sticky that says something. And uh this one sticky that I wrote is there are no right or wrong choices, just just lessons and consequences that and so I want to live more in the lessons and consequences than is this the right choice or the batch or the wrong choice? And that's where I'm at mentally in January. So I'm I'm I really want this, and it's been moving, and it's like it even through all the sadness and all the things that have transpired, it is still helping me move forward.

SPEAKER_01:

So, you know, that I I'm glad that you brought that up because that was a funny little um Instagram uh video that I saw, something similar, but it was a daughter, and she said, What I got what I did was I got a hundred little tiny frogs, and she put a hundred tiny frogs all over her mother's house, everywhere, hid them everywhere. And she she said, She said, I feel like she was um trying to forget about me, and now she won't. So there's times where she'll she'll find out.

SPEAKER_07:

Every time she sees one of these frogs.

SPEAKER_01:

She's still collecting them over time, and when she finds a new one, she takes a picture of it and then shows her daughter. And so, like, like stuff like that is like really fun. I just thought that was really cool. But that's actually a really, really good idea. Um, just so you can have moments of reflection.

SPEAKER_09:

That, and it's just also like, hey Ma, I know stuff. I'm not stupid. You know you know, and and ironically enough, and for those of you who are longtime listeners, um, my time with my parent, um, I actually have had an excellent time.

SPEAKER_07:

Look, that something something must be in the water.

SPEAKER_09:

And like there was no, there was no.

SPEAKER_07:

It went better than you expected it to.

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah, and so when I when when when I wasn't living in the oh, here it comes. And just like enjoying the time, we both did the same thing. And we even talked about that. Like, she's like, you know, I really did enjoy you here with me. And I was like, oh, I didn't get on your nerves? Is that what you're saying? Is that what you're saying? And she's like, Yeah, you can't. That is what I'm saying. You know, and and I appreciate that, and I want more moments like that with not just my parent or parental unit, but with people, you know, and I want to be more out there. I want to, I'm done with the isolation and solitude. I want to be out there because it's healthy for me. You know?

SPEAKER_01:

I think it's healthy for everybody, and I think it's important for everybody to find their medium, but that is a that is a realm of comfort that I think people need to constantly explore. Because I think we hold back because we know what people are capable of. And so we often hold back. But I find myself more and more, more and more, and more often than not these days, um just engaging people as you learn stuff. You you the person is different. You're at a you're at a Walmart and you just start a conversation with somebody randomly, and then you find like you guys have like so much in common, or you find out something that you wouldn't have known had if you didn't talk to them. And so I'm also trying to push that boundary as well.

SPEAKER_07:

We were all meant to, you know, interact with one another in so many different ways, and it's really sad if we don't exercise that to some degree, you know.

SPEAKER_09:

And so, you know, and and I'll close with this, right? And this is not to bring it down, but you know, I do not want to go recording this episode without mentioning Kirk's name. Um, because there are a lot of people that we have had on as guests, there are a lot of people that I know mutually, there's a lot of people that Chris knows mutually, that all transpire from one person. And for one person to be a ball of fire for a bunch of other people, a bunch of energy, like we would have never crossed paths, not us, not us three, but other people would have never crossed paths if it wasn't for one person, right? And so you never know that you are that one person for other people. And so, like, for me, I I know I'm like, oh, I want to have a big impact on life. I want to change the world. I want to be Beyonce. I was here. You know, hey B. Um she evaded. She evaded. Oh, you know, I I want people to know that I was here. I want to leave my footprint on this earth, but also I don't want to force it. So I want to be present while I'm there versus being there and being intentional so people can think or feel. No, I just want to be here. I just want to be, I'm just glad to be here, y'all. That's it. Like with y'all, listeners, we're just glad to be back. We're we've missed you guys so much. So fucking much. Cause my God, today.

SPEAKER_08:

If I turn on MS NBC News, Jesus.

SPEAKER_09:

Lord have mercy. So uh Jaquita will be w uh wants to come back so quickly. A lot of things that we'll we'll talk about in our political episode, but y'all know we don't really get too political.

SPEAKER_07:

I think it's important for us to look at this year and know that there's a lot of opportunity and a lot of possibilities for us to be able to do and do the things that we say that like we want to work on, that we want to grow from, that we want to, you know, reach beyond. But at the same time, too, given everything that's happening, and then even just what we said, you know, tomorrow isn't guaranteed. So there is some sense of urgency about being able to accomplish the things that we're setting up for ourselves, whether it's We want to, you know, grow a certain part of our character or advance a certain part of our career or whatever it is. Um I think the thing to keep in mind is that time is precious and just make sure to apply that to every aspect of what it is that we're looking to do.

SPEAKER_01:

Amen, amen.

SPEAKER_09:

Amen. And amen again. And let the truth say. Yeah, right. And to the hoes in the back, all of you.

SPEAKER_07:

We're glad you're here.

SPEAKER_09:

Welcome. Let me lay hands on you. Let me lay hands on you. Lord have mercy. On that note, guys, thank you so much for taking the time to listen to another episode. I was about to curse way too early. But of highly motherfucking melanated. See, I wouldn't fuck up for me. Motherfucking melanated. The safe space where it's okay to move at your own pace and just be happy and just do things the way you want to. For us to just say, hey y'all, what's up, niggas?

SPEAKER_07:

Have you guys seen that owl challenge that's been going on? I saw yours. So it's just made me think just now because we always save the motherfucking melanated for the end. And I did see somebody do Samuel L. Jackson. They said this is my impression of an owl at the owl or Samuel L. Jackson.

SPEAKER_05:

Who motherfucker?

SPEAKER_07:

Oh, motherfucker. So there you go.

SPEAKER_09:

This is my impression of an owl if uh if they were PJ. What were we talking about? Who? What? Only we'll get that. That's it. On that note, guys, um I would re before we before we do our sign out, guys, ask yourself all of these questions that we've asked ourselves, and we have this conversation because we're friends. And you know, we we were each raised differently, brought up differently, and still have different, you know, perspectives, and that's how you gain perspective. Ask your friends the same questions. You know, demand an answer. Demand it. Okay.

SPEAKER_07:

Now. It's the small tap.

SPEAKER_01:

On that joke. She starts talking to watching to start bagging around the freaking table. Okay.

SPEAKER_09:

On that note, peace, love, and it's Chris like with this evil look on his face. Go ahead. Peace, love. Peace, love. And dreams don't have deadlines.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_09:

Your turn.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, okay. Peace, love, and do it now.

SPEAKER_09:

Oh God, yeah.

SPEAKER_07:

I cannot.

SPEAKER_03:

Dear black people. We need to start preparing for the cookouts this summer. And let me just say this. I want everybody black. You're gonna have all the drinks. We're gonna have everybody black, nothing has changed. Holly greens, mustard greens, and smoking greens. Only the real cooks. All the Caucasians to the back. Don't be experimenting with the food at the cookouts. It needs to be at somebody's house. Possibly a house that's in a community with other blacks. Because you know the people be liking to call the cops. We already got enough going on. Don't worry about no summer body. Don't worry about no beach body. Prepare yourself for the cookouts. This is for the niggas, strictly for the niggas. This is for the niggas.

SPEAKER_05:

The real niggas.

SPEAKER_03:

And just so y'all don't think that I'm mincing my words, we have cookouts. Not barbecues. Cookouts. It's for black people anyway.