Episode 89: Alfred, Lord Tennyson

When you think of Lord Tennyson, I'm sure you think of knights errant, beautiful prose, and perhaps the smell of eraser dust as you erase things over and over again and tears well up in your eyes while your teacher stands behind you and refuses to elaborate on what they mean when they say, "No, write it PROPER."  But it may be better to think on Lord Tennyson with memories of insane drunken family members, burning monkey hair, and perhaps a beaten dog or two.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Caleb Can't Read. I'm Jordan Rabel.

SPEAKER_03 0:03

I'm Nicole Rabel.

SPEAKER_00 0:04

And maybe we'll have Buster, depending on how good she is. Um well for this one, I want to ask you: did you ever have like uh an emo poetry phase? Obi. Obi. I remember like uh cleaning shit out of the house once, and I came across like an old journal of yours or something. Don't worry, I'm not out here spilling secrets. I just remember like it was an older one clearly. Well, I gave it a little flip through, and one of the pages had a had an anime. Had an anime eye and it said something emo over it. And I just like I was like, yeah, that's a 13-year-old if ever. No way.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

God damn you.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Yeah, so okay, so you've gone through the emo poetry phase, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

Like emo pop punk wasn't a very mainstream fucking thing. Give me a break.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Well. I um I think I myself, yeah, got into Chuck Polinook. You are an emo phase. Oh, fuck you. I had a I had a Chuck Polinook phase, you know, when I when I was probably around that same age where I I mean I read Fight Club in like two days and I went through a two-year-old.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

You were the Tyler Durden, but you were the boring office man.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

I yeah, actually. I can't even remember his name. No, he doesn't have a name. That's the whole point. He's just the narrator. But you know what, man? Fuck that movie because, dude, I don't want to live in a paper mill tetanus building. I want to be the office man with IKEA furniture. I currently am. And you know what? I enjoy it. It's clean. I'm fine with it. Why are you peeling back the foreskin of your fucking beer koozie? Why are you doing that?

SPEAKER_02 1:53

It's too tall. I don't it's the it's too tall.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

It's stupid. No, it's perfect because the beer koozie, I don't know if you noticed, but it's it's supposed to be a paper.

SPEAKER_03 2:04

Why are you not teaching me about a dead writer instead of teaching me about paper koozies?

SPEAKER_00 2:10

I'm just okay. Well, let's get started, shall we? George Clayton Tennyson Jr. was born December 10th, 1778 in Summersby, Lincolnshire, England, to his father, also named George, and his mother Mary. Now George Sr. was a politician, a member of Parliament, to be exact. And to keep the family's wealth in check, he designated a role for each of his two sons. Charles would get sent into politics, like his father before him, to make sure that he cut taxes and all the right places and you know protects pedophiles and things of that nature. His elder son, George Junior, on the other hand, would be there to show the innocent f side of the family, the more godly side. And so little George was sent to the clergy. I think that's how it worked in fucking Sin City too. There were like two Rourke brothers.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

Oh really?

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yeah, there was like one that was a politician and then another that was like private clergy.

SPEAKER_03 3:07

All you can think of is Jessica Alba like shaking it, then shacking up with a really old Bruce Willis. Thinking, God, that is that's why.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

Well, yes, the dynamic in that movie was gross, but like he is handsome as hell. Like, would you really is Bruce Willis not your type, really? Especially like in that film where he's all like grizzled cop? I think he's hot. Really? Okay, alright, hey, whatever, dude. At least look, as long as you weren't into Mickey Rourke in that movie, because he was okay, good. No one's supposed to be into Marv. Alright. Now the reason why his elder s son, George Jr., was sent away to study priesthood instead of staying so close to Pappy Tennyson was because his parents kind of fucking hated him. More specifically, George Jr. had a touch of the crazies. Now what it was specifically, we're never really gonna know. But it's possible that George Jr. had some bouts of epilepsy that led to a couple of uh shortages in his brain. Regardless, George Jr. was seen as a problem because of it. Even when his father heard that he was receiving good marks while he attended Cambridge for his formal education, George Sr. sent an investigator to see if it was all somehow a trick.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

I'm having staircase wit.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

About what part? I hope you're still paying attention to the story at hand because yes, yes, yes, man.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

Hey, stop eating Hey, stop it.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Don't eat your butthole.

SPEAKER_03 4:46

Rich man, this you eat the dog's butthole. Why are you?

SPEAKER_00 4:50

That's not what it was supposed to shut up. What what were you gonna say?

SPEAKER_03 4:54

You should cut this out.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

What were you gonna say?

SPEAKER_03 4:56

I was yeah, I was gonna say yes, yes, Rich Man names sons after himself multiple times, gives them jobs from the get-go, um, you know, church man, political man, protect the pedophile, not the children, prioritize the money, um, but also I did not mean to imply that Bruce Willis was ugly, he's just not my thing. And but the staircase wit part was something, something my type is is soft, pretty men like you.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

Aww.

SPEAKER_03 5:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

I'm more into Jessica Alba types. Yeah. Yeah. Well, regardless of his Why did I get married? The dowry. Regardless of his good grades, George Sr. saw his.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

I get uh a white shield. Yes. I get health insurance if you have a better job.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Your white shield doesn't fucking work because I get stopped at TSA now, and I'm just like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 6:13

That's how we know times are progressing. That uh they're now equally suspicious of you.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, regardless of his good grades, George Sr. saw his son as quote, too impractical to found a country family, and sent him away to become an Anglican priest. But you know what? He did fucking great at that too. He ended up becoming a well-known man of the cloth. And on top of that, he never stopped going to school. He earned his bachelor's in 1801, a master's in 1805, and a doctorate in law at the age of 37 in 1815.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

Why would a priest need to become a lawman?

SPEAKER_00 6:53

I feel like it's just to like prove to his.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

Preemptive strike.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

I feel like his his brother was given everything and didn't do anything with it, so he probably just showed his dad, hey, you fucked up. I was the smart one or something. That's what I would have done.

SPEAKER_03 7:06

Because I was say when I say preemptive strike, I mean he was up to no good and knew he would need legal representation one day. As many men of the cloth have apparently been known to abuse their power and influence. I don't think that's true, and I feel like that's your saying.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

I'm going to see you in confessional later.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

No.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

There's another little door about a foot, two feet off the ground. I need you to open that one too on your side. No screen on that one. No, it didn't matter though. It doesn't, it didn't seem to matter though. When George's brother Charles was just 12 years old, he was signed on as the only inheritor to the Tennyson estate.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

On August 6, 1805, the 27-year-old George Jr. married the 25-year-old Elizabeth Fitch, a daughter of some landed gentry. Together, they would have ten children. George III, Frederick, Charles, Alfred, Mary, Amelia, Edward, Arthur, Septimus, Matilda, Cecilia, and Horatio. Kinda sounds like they were running out of names by the young person.

SPEAKER_03 8:17

Septimus still gets me.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

What?

SPEAKER_03 8:22

Septimus Prime. Leader of the cars.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

The robot cars. You know it's called the Transformer, right?

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Fuck you. I don't give a shit.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

That's fair. I actually I hate the 80s. I hate 80s movies typically. I hate 80s cartoons. Everyone's just like, oh, you grew up with like Thundercats or G.I. Joe? Fuck no, I did not. I hated that shit. No, dude, I couldn't even get into Gundam Wing because it was from the 80s. I was like, it's too grainy of footage. Listen, I know. And it it would have it would have made my AO3 career just so much better, I'm sure. But like fucking.

SPEAKER_03 9:05

AO3 is for the new kids.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

Okay, that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

Because again, I don't know anything about it. I just I didn't give a shit. It was two fucking. I guess. I guess. But most of them looked like girls. So I I don't know. The little Chinese one with the ponytail that was supposed to be a hard ass just looked like a flat-chested waitress.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

Oh, right.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

So I'm Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:27

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Anyway. Where the fuck were we?

SPEAKER_03 9:32

You didn't have a favorite.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

But no. But our focus today will be on only one of their children. Born August 6th, 1809, in the town of Summersby, Lincolnshire on his parents' fourth anniversary, and the subject of today's episode, Alfred Tennyson.

SPEAKER_03 9:49

Wolf, what a bummer way to spend your anniversaries just in the hospital giving birth. Like owie, owie, owie, owie.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

No, I agree. I honestly after being born, too, it's like, how often are your parents really going to give a shit about your birthday over their anniversary? God. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 10:05

Right?

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Yeah. Now, because of his father George's fame as an Anglican uh clergyman, the Tennyson family of Summersby had to move around quite a bit. Fame or infamy. Well, and there there's going to be a distinction there. The Tennysons of Summersby is where our hero is from.

SPEAKER_04 10:24

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

Meanwhile, there were the Tennys of Beacons, which is where Uncle Charles and his family inheritance went.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

And the Tennysons of Beacons, with nothing better to do, decided to change their last name to distinguish themselves from the poorer side of the family. So the Tennysons of Beacons became Tennyson de Eincourt. And I don't know where or why Charles chose to add the suffix de Eincourt in there, because his wife's maiden name is Hutton, and his own mother's maiden name was Turner. And there is no place I could find on Google Maps called Eincourt for them to be from. So I just have to assume it was for the same reason that he changed their land's name from Beacons to Bayons because he thought it sounded more gothic. Same reason he spent most of his inheritance refining an old castle on their property that no one of note ever even lived in. He wanted to seem like he came from a family of old wealth. When in reality, it's just his dad that got them rich from politics. So with George Tennyson seeing this absolutely stupid display of wealth made by his brother, he would make damn well sure that his children got a good education. He knew that it didn't take much to be completely fucked if you didn't have one. So George put little Alfred Tennyson and the rest of his siblings to work on their studies, with an emphasis on their growing library, where little Alfred would become an enormous fan in the poetry of Dante, Daniel Defoe, and Lord Byron, all people we've covered in the past episodes. Now, three of the eldest Tennyson boys soon put all their fancy book learning to the test. They learned Greek and Latin and knew some of the classics by heart. So in 1826, when Alfred was 17, he and his 21-year-old brother Charles put out a collection of a hundred and two poems into a book titled Poems by Two Brothers.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

I love how their father wanted his children to learn practicality and be independent and capable. And so Alfred is like poetry.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Yeah. Not a carpenter, not a doctor or a lawyer, just no science.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

He's not discovering penicillin or new medicines or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

I mean, it will turn out to be the right call, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

But you know, it's famous now.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Yeah, yeah, exactly. That you're right, though. I would be a little bit upset if it's just that it's just kind of funny.

SPEAKER_03 12:58

Well, maybe I don't know, was I guess is is there some historical context that you have where this is much more of a respected record?

SPEAKER_00 13:08

No, no, no. Actually, as a matter of fact, throughout all of our episodes, every parent seems very upset that they chose to do any sort of writing as a career.

SPEAKER_03 13:17

They're always like That's so relatable as an Asian that went to art school.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Yeah, dude. You can't apply that anywhere. Like poems by two brothers. I should say, however, that their uh Alfred and uh Charles, uh their 22-year-old brother Frederick actually contributed four poems to the collection, but neither found it worthwhile to give him any sort of credit, so he just kind of got left out of that. Oh now as great I know it's a little shitty. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 13:50

Skeezy? I don't know. What if you just maybe there was like a listed each poem like by this brother, by this brother.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Or like an asterisk by it or something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 13:58

Yeah, like with a big other brother.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

Oh, maybe their mom found out and was like, Don't leave him out.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

He's just That sounds like a total Yeah, that very well could have happened. Guys, be nice to Frederick. Guys, come on.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

Stop picking on him. He's just a baby. Yeah, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Fifteen, yeah, probably. As great as it may have been to get your first publication in at just 17 years old, things weren't great at the Tennyson household. Those old fears from George Jr.'s parents that he might be nuts. Turns out they may have been correct. George Jr. had chest pains that would result in him being prescribed opium, which turned out to pair really fucking well with alcohol. It soon came to pass that any time George was out of the house was a sigh of relief for his family because his moods were in a constant shift. A letter from his wife Elizabeth to George's father described what he had told her about their eldest son Frederick. Quote, He would kill Frederick by stabbing him in the jugular vein in the heart. He should not do this, but he would kill others, and Frederick should be one. Which to me sounds like he was planning on starting with Frederick. It's just crazy to me that she's just like, no, no, no, he's he's not going to do it, but he did fucking say that he's going to stab him very specifically in the heart.

SPEAKER_03 15:26

Is this madness or is this addiction?

SPEAKER_00 15:29

I I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 15:31

I mean Like if they were if they had more access to modern medical knowledge, could they have avoided getting him addicted to opiates in the first place?

SPEAKER_00 15:40

You know, maybe I don't know. Wrong with mixing it with it. But it's just for chest pain, too, and it's just like maybe don't do either of those things and you won't have a fucking hole in your heart. I don't know. In fact, George had actually started brandishing a knife and a gun just to take stroll around the house. I mean, same, same. In fact, George had st wait.

SPEAKER_03 16:04

You work so hard to teach your kids how to be practical, and there they are putting out poetry books.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Yeah, I guess I would be a little bit more stabby and working on a poetry scene.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

Why are you interfering? I don't want to include my brother.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Alas he's bourgeois. Alas, these attitudes were not with George Tennyson only. As in time, three of Alfred Tennyson's siblings would be incarcerated in mental asylums, leading Alfred to regard what he perceived as a hereditary illness as quote, the black blood of the Tennysons.

SPEAKER_03 16:38

That feels kind of like nice and poetic given that the father was in the politician wanted his kids, their grandfather, the grandpolitician. You know, his kids are all going to jail because they're shits.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

I mean his grandkids. I yeah, I don't know, I guess. Um now their mother Elizabeth turned out to be kind of the opposite problem. She was a little too charitable. She was extremely fond of animals, and allowed the kids to take in whatever sort of pet they wanted. I couldn't find the names for any of these pets, which kind of bummed me out, but the family had a Newfoundland, which would give Alfred a lifelong love of dogs, but Alfred himself had a pet owl, and his mom had a monkey.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

They were all named George or Henry.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

That I They're British.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

They all like to be named George, Henry, or William. Oh, there were probably a few William dogs.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

I do remember growing up with a friend, and this is how suburban I am. There was a friend that uh talked about how his parents potentially were going to get a monkey, and I was so fucking stoked, and they didn't end up doing it, and I was so let down. Like, just it would have just hung around in diapers. We would have oh man, it would have been so good.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

You could have named it James too. James is another good one that the British like to use. I swear, you get those online quizzes that are like name all the royal family.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

You type in Henry and you get like 12 of them done.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

William, James.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

I suppose so.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

Well, the problem with the monkey is that he liked to warm his back by any open flame, whether it was from a fireplace or a candle, and he'd often cinch his back hair, making the whole house smell. I just I imagine a fucking like monkey running through the house on fire, just it would have been awesome. The monkey also liked to fuck with Alfred's owl.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

That's not the madness, and that's probably why he got more, the father got more into the drugs and alcohol.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

This is why, yeah, the dad has to deal with the fucking owl shit, monkey shit, and they don't all turned out like born baby dude. The monkey also liked to fuck with Alfred's owl, which came to an end when the owl accidentally got trapped in the Tennyson well and drowned. Which I'm not necessarily counting the monkey out of that one. That feels like monkey business. But when the local kids found out about Elizabeth Tennyson's love of animals, they got a scam going where they just take dogs out in front of the Tennyson family's windows and start beating dogs until their mom came out and bought the dogs off the kids.

SPEAKER_03 19:25

See, she did she should have been more militant. Those kids would have she should have come out brandishing weapons. She should have sent her mad husband out there to send George out there and the knife, like, stop breeding that dog.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

Yeah, I mean, but anyway, hey, first book published at 17, Home Sprite 2 Brothers. That's neat. And Alfred and Charles got 20 bucks for it, the equivalent of about three and a half thousand dollars today.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

Thank you for including the modern day equivalent. I remember this being an issue in previous episodes.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

Yeah, people usually ask. Which they immediately spent more than half of within the publisher's bookshop itself. But it would seem Alfred would forgo his writing career just a little while longer as he focused on school, presumably to get the fuck away from his family. And it was here at Trinity College where Alfred would join a secret society called the Cambridge Apostles in 1827.

SPEAKER_03 20:28

He'll let someone jack off on him.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

Yeah, probably. That may sound it may seem like some sort of like ancient order, but back when Tennyson joined, the group was only six years old. They called themselves the Apostles as there were only ever 12 members at any given time, which doesn't even sound like a party. Their meetings would consist of one person bringing up a topic for discussion. Could be politics, religion, philosophy, whatever. That sounds absolutely bullshit.

SPEAKER_03 20:57

That sounds that sounds stupid as fuck.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

That sounds like what we used to do at the trap house, just like, what do you guys think about clouds?

SPEAKER_03 21:05

Yeah, okay, but were they getting like high or or drunk?

SPEAKER_00 21:08

I don't it's hard to say topic. I doubt it.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

Or were they just thinking to themselves, ho ho ho, so much above everyone else.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Honestly, probably that. Oh god. Sounds like bullshit, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:20

It sounds dorky. It's fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

It is fucking dorky.

SPEAKER_03 21:25

God, write a poem about it.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

He will. And it was here that Alfred would meet his bestest friend, Arthur.

SPEAKER_04 21:33

Arthur.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Now Arthur Henry Holland was born February 1st, 1811 in London. His father was a famed historian, and his mother was the sister to a famed historian, so his direction and career was quite clear from the start. It was during his years at Trinity College, specifically as a member of the Cambridge Apostles, that Arthur and Alfred would find a shared love of the recently deceased Percy Shelley. Now, if you'll remember, Percy died in relative obscurity, and no one has a definitive answer as to why he became more relevant as time went on.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

Mad Percy Shelley.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Yes, but also, yes. But from what Tennyson and Holland would discuss, it almost seemed like they were into Shelley because of his perceived bad boy persona. That landed him as a leader of this satanic school of poetry right alongside Byron. Don't laugh. He's he's a bad boy. That's why they're into him.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

No. Jesus. Okay, that's that's like saying that's like that's like looking at those that's like watching the Big Bang Theory and going, man, those guys. Hardcore.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

In time, Holland and Tennyson would have friendly competitions with their poetry, and yet it would be Tennyson that would win every time. In 1829, the 20-year-old Alfred was awarded the Chancellor's Gold Medal for his poem entitled Tim Buck 2. But according to Alfred, receiving the honor at 20 was nothing to even celebrate. He thought it was like an adult winning a prize meant for children.

SPEAKER_03 23:13

Instead, what a dick.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

I know.

SPEAKER_03 23:16

He's still a child. I will say, because you brought up Gun and Wing earlier, I'm glad you found the boys' love angle. With these two.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

I didn't, but you know that's random knees. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

That's what everything is when it's just me and Caleb on this. Taking it out of context. I'm sorry, my inclusion ruins the boys' love angle.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Yeah, you're like the third that's like the now it's it will they won't they? Instead, I mean Alfred focused on his first solo book of poetry, released the next year in 1930 or sorry, 1830, called Poems Chiefly Lyrical. Now, even from an early age, Tennyson would show a certain darkness in his poetry, dealing heavily with isolation and madness. Themes that probably seemed out of left field for anyone besides those that met his family. I mean, hell, here's a poem from this collection that on its surface is about the mythical Kraken, but in reality, probably had more to do with what he regarded as his black blood. Below the thunders of the upper deep, far, far beneath in the abysmal sea. His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep, the Kraken sleepeth, faintest sunlights flee. About his shadowy sides, above him swell, huge sponges of millennial growth and height, and far away into the sickly light, from many a wondrous grot and secret cell, Unnumbered in enormous pulpy, Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green. There hath he lain for ages and will lie, battening upon huge sea worms in his sleep, until the latter fire shall heat the deep, then once by man and angels to be seen, in roaring he shall rise and on the surface die. Well it's very satanic in a school of poetry way. What?

SPEAKER_03 25:32

Isn't that how it went with Percy Shelley's life? He knocked up Mary Shelley because he really admired Mary's. Oh, her dad, and he did give him some money. Give you some money, bruh.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

I guess so. I mean, I'm sure her dad is just now awakening in his grave right now, just like, oh fuck, did I prostitute my daughter? Some of the Tennyson's.

SPEAKER_03 25:51

And then it was called a dowry.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

That's right. Um They didn't marry until he got backed into a corner. Now, some of Tennyson's most celebrated work would actually come from this first collection. His second book altogether, but his first solo work. There are classic poems in here like Claribel and Mariana. However, it was actually the trend for literary critics in this day to overlook anything good about your work and be as absurdly mean as possible.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

We actually That is not changed, homie. They just went on to Twitter for that shit.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

We actually kind of went over this in our Walt Whitman episode when that one critic told Walt to just kill himself. But despite critics being overly harsh with Tennyson's work, his poetry would still find its place among his intended audience, both fellow poets as well as his college friends. The collection itself garnered enough attention that Tennyson was able to contribute to a collaborative poetry collection titled The Gem, a literary annual, with three new poems of his own. Well, in between semesters, Tennyson would make his way back home for the holidays, with his friend Arthur Hollam electing to spend his time there instead of with his own family. And it was here, I'm gonna ruin this for you, and I'm sorry, it was here that Holland would meet Alfred's 18-year-old sister Amelia, with whom he instantly fell in love. Now, for whatever reason, probably because this guy had plans to bang his daughter, Mr. George Tennyson was not the greatest fan of Holland. And he wasn't afraid to show it.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

It was all a front just so he could get into Alfred's sweet, sweet bull.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Oh, I see. I see what angle you're still playing on. I'm sorry that it doesn't end that way, man. Churchmen no. Well, George saw something great in his son. What with the publication of two different books under his belt, and he thought Holland might get in the way of that. So when Alfred Tennyson and Arthur Holland thought they'd collaborate on a book of poetry, George Tennyson forbade it. Instead, Alfred would help his friend release a collection of his own, which Holland would do with his brilliantly titled Poems, released the same year as Alfred's own work in 1830.

SPEAKER_03 28:16

Please let me marry your sister. Is that what it's called?

SPEAKER_00 28:20

No, it's just called Poems.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

Should have called it Please Let Me Marry Your Sister. That next summer, Alfred and Alfred. Ohfred and Arthur, along with the rest of the Cambridge Apostles, planned an expedition to the Pyrenees Mountains where they planned to give provisions, money, and a letter written in invisible ink to a revolutionary named General Torrijos.

SPEAKER_03 28:46

Invisible ink?

SPEAKER_00 28:47

Yes. Yep, they're that young.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

General Torrijos was gathering soldiers to attack Spain and overthrow King Ferdinand the Seventh to install a man named Juan Van Halen as leader. Any questions?

SPEAKER_01 29:04

That was my first thought immediately.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

It was just like and then he had to be exiled to a place called Panama. Panama. So basically, one of the apostles, a kid named John Sterling, learned of Torrijos's fight against the Spanish monarchy and just thought it was really fucking cool. So Sterling convinces very CIA of them, by the way. A little bit, yeah. So Sterling convinces a cousin of his, a kid named Robert Boyd, to take his inheritance of $5,000 and give it all to General Torrijos with the idea that when he wins control of Spain, Boyd and Sterling will get like some sort of power out of it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 29:50

So the apostles These kids are so bad at losing their money. Jesus Christ, I would be so much more efficient.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

And I want you to remember that's $5,000 when $20,000 or when $20 was closer to $3,000. So nowadays, I don't know what that is. Probably like a millionth fucking weapons.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

What it is, is I hate these guys.

SPEAKER_00 30:11

So the apostles decide to go as a group just to kind of like help out.

SPEAKER_03 30:17

Oh my god. Boys' vacation.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Hell yeah. We're gonna actually that does sound like what a boys' trip would be. Like, what do what do you guys want to do? Let's go in the mountains and do a revolution. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 30:32

Oh my god, my parents would never let me play revolutionaries.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

But their trip was cut short as a Spanish ambassador learned of their plot, and the boatload of boys were stopped in the harbor.

unknown 30:44

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 30:45

John Sterling took this shit way more seriously than anyone else, however. So he leapt into the fucking water and ran out into the wilderness while the rest of the kids were pretty much just told to turn back. So like that's kind of what happened here. These like Spanish police just like showed up at the harbor and they're just like, see these kids with like probably one or two rifles and like 5,000 bucks and a message made in fucking lemon juice. Just like, what are you doing? And they're just like, We're gonna fight the king of space. We're gonna play Revolution, go home, and just one kid just fucking darts it into the woods. Yeah. Well, when the authorities asked them why they wanted to help General Torrios in the first place, Tennyson said that they got involved, quote, for the fun of the thing. And luckily, these kids didn't get too deep into this, as General Torrios would be captured that December, and all of his followers were executed two by two.

SPEAKER_03 31:42

So Like I know that General failed, but that is such an uh a rich undergrad kid response.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

For the fun of the thing.

SPEAKER_03 31:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

Pretty much, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:54

Christ.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

Instead, that December, Arthur Hollam asked Alfred's sister Amelia, to marry him, and she said yes. Mr. Tennyson, however, said fuck no and made them promise that they would wait at least till everyone involved turned twenty-one. As a matter of fact, he said, Holland isn't even able to come back until he's twenty-one.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

Good. But thankfully He should have made them wait longer.

SPEAKER_00 32:22

Yeah. Well, thankfully for everyone, on March 16th, 1831, George Tennyson Jr. would pass away at the age of 52. While his son Alfred would suggest that his father died suddenly of heart failure or something, George was actually pent up in his study for several days with no one to check on him after coming down with a sickness two weeks earlier. He basically stayed drunk and angry until his final hours, just raging in his study. I imagine he still had the knife and the gun on him. Maybe the monkey. I gave the monkey a knife!

SPEAKER_03 32:59

This monkey is the only one who cares about me. I hate you guys.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

Alfonso is the only one I love. And for the last several years, George had picked up another addiction besides opium and alcohol, gambling. Love it. Yeah. His debts went not to his children, but to his politician father George Sr., who told his grandchildren that unless they planned on finishing their degrees that semester, to quit now and find work instead. So that's exactly what Alfred did. Quit school and moved in with his family for the next six years. It also meant that his best friend Hollam could hang out any old time he wanted. And he did! And he got to bang Alfred's sister. Yes, Arthur Hollam and Amelia soon became re-engaged with plans to marry soon after Holland's graduation. The next year in 1832, Tennyson released his second book of solo poetry, simply titled Poems, much to the thanks of Holland's financial support. Amongst this collection was perhaps one of Tennyson's most famous, The Lady of Shallad. Oh, yeah, high school. Well, there you go. The story tells of Elaine of Ostelat from Arthurian Legend, who was cursed to never look upon the world outside her window with her own eyes, lest she be killed by a curse.

SPEAKER_03 34:24

Well, the outside world is overrated.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

But instead to see a muddled version of it through the reflection in her mirror. On either side the river lie long fields of barley and of rye that clothe the world and meet the sky. And through the field the road runs by to many towered Camelot, and up and down the people go, gazing where the lilies blow. Round an island there below, the island of Shallot. Willows whiten, aspens quiver, little breezes dusk and shiver. Through the wave that runs forever by the island in the river, flowing down to Camelot. Four grey walls and four grey towers overlook a space of flowers, and the silent isle embowers the lady of shallot.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

Is it shallot or shallot?

SPEAKER_00 35:18

I have no idea. And I'm gonna imagine it's shallot because of onions, and that's all I can think about. So yes, I'm calling it shallot.

SPEAKER_03 35:25

I don't know if it's that was the reason she could never go.

SPEAKER_00 35:28

Well, I figure Shallots came from Shallot, probably. I don't know. This lady doesn't know basic hygiene. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:38

Well, did they bathe very often in the medieval times? There was, you know, like I know.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

I I mean the thing that I always hear, and I don't know how true it is, is um, you know, you shower once uh before your like after birth and you shower once before your wedding or something, but there was there was an actual thing. Jesus Christ. Well, I don't know how true that is, but I do know for a fact that they did actually have this thing where they thought washing too often was bad for your health.

SPEAKER_03 36:09

I don't know why people like romanticize the past.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

I don't think they go that far back in the past. Usually when people romanticize the past, they're like No, you got live-action role-playing history dorks.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

Well, that's because it's fun.

SPEAKER_00 36:23

They're not romanticizing the plague.

SPEAKER_03 36:25

I'm not romanticizing the just the lifestyle in general.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

I don't know, do they? Okay, I don't think those are people romanticizing the past. I think those are just Marvel fans. God dude, I mean, I I love that they had signs in Comic Con. Yeah, no, I remember you and I just going through like Comic-Con and you know, they started having posters up that say like one costume is not consent, which felt needed after the first time we went to one. Jesus Christ. And then the second one was uh was like, hey, if you can afford a Comic-Con ticket, you can afford deodorant and shampoo. Please wash beforehand. But then there were people like carrying like picket signs essentially, like, you need a shower. And it was just like, brother, I like I it's I agree, but I also do you know how many of those people have like bad autism and just don't wash themselves? Like, I I'm just I was like at a certain point that's why you've got to remind them. Yeah, but I I felt like the picket people were gonna start following folks, and I was just like, I don't know. Anyway, so one day the lady of Shalot, still gonna call her Shalot, sees lit Sir Lancelot from her mirror, and she dares to look upon him out the window herself. He's gorgeous. Though she knows her foolishness has doomed her to die. So she hops into a boat, scrawled scrawling her name upon the wood, and floats towards Camelot, dying before her boat is dragged ashore. Quote, Who is this and what is here? And in the lighted palace near, died the sound of royal cheer, and they crossed themselves for fear, all the nights at Camelot. But Lancelot mused a little space. He said, She has a lovely face. God in his mercy lend her grace, the lady of Shalad.

SPEAKER_03 38:19

What if she just had like a bubble boy thing going on?

SPEAKER_00 38:22

Oh, uh Yeah. I mean, also it's fake though, so it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_04 38:28

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 38:30

I loved the fuck out of that movie, dude. The Jake Jellenhall one. I was just, I loved that movie so much. God damn, I was into that film. Anyway. And once again, though, we have a work that's about isolation and death. And as beautiful as his work may be, Tennyson listened more to the criticisms he received than the praise. Because of this, he felt unworthy to being called a poet and wouldn't publish again for the next ten years. Now that's not to say that Tennyson stopped writing altogether. No, he still had plenty to write about. He just kind of figured that if it sucked, well, at least he liked it. Yeah. Right? But things were about to become a lot darker for Tennyson than just bad reviews. In 1833, just three years after releasing his own book of poetry, Arthur Henry Holland would vacation with his father in Vienna, though each day seemed to come with a new complaint. Hollem would sometimes complain of a fever while complaining of chills the next. No matter what climate they traveled to, Holland just wouldn't feel like anything was right. On September 15th, however, he seemed to be in good spirits. Hollem ordered some wine to drink by the fire while he lay about on the sofa, as his father went out for an afternoon walk. But when he returned, he found Holland still resting. According to him, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary except for the position of his head. Sure enough, when Holland's father tried to rouse him, he found his son dead at the age of twenty-three. Cerebral hemorrhage is the common theory. Tennyson was beside himself, not to mention his sister Amelia. In commemoration, Tennyson wrote a poem that doubled as an elegy for his friend called In Memorium AHH, which stands for In Memoriam Arthur Henry Holland. Or possibly the last thing Holland screamed when he died from a hemorrhage. Quote I envy not in any moods the captive void of noble rage, the linnet born within the cage, that never knew the summer woods. I envy not the beast that takes his license in the field of time, unfettered by the sense of crime, To whom a conscience never wakes, Nor what may count itself as blessed, the heart that never plighteth troth, but stagnates in the weeds of sloth, nor any want begotten rest. I hold it true, whatever fault befall. I feel it when I sorrow most. Those last two lines are perhaps the most famous lines in any book of poetry.

SPEAKER_03 41:30

It was a lavender marriage.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

Shut up. I mean, but I that was that was a big thing. I was like, shit, I didn't know that he did that. Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Yeah. But while you are welcome. You know what? You know what? Hey, you know what? You're fucking welcome. Now, while the poem itself was But while the poem itself was written immediately following the death of Holland, Tennyson, like the rest of his poetry, didn't see it fit to print.

unknown 42:03

Lavender.

SPEAKER_00 42:05

Shut up. Another poem called Break Break Break about the isolation within the sea. This one's actually amazing. Shush, this one's actually amazing. This was also written in response to Arthur's death, and brilliantly uses the natural syllable breaks in the speaker's voice to mimic the ups and downs of waves. Quote, break, break, break on thy cold grey stones, O sea, and I would that my tongue could utter the thoughts that arise in me. Oh well for the fisherman's boy, that he shouts with his sister at play. Oh well for the sailor lad, that he sings in his boat on the bay. And the stately ships go on to their haven under the hill. But oh for the touch of a vanished hand and the sound of a voice that is still. Break, break, break at the foot of thy crags, O sea. But the tender grace of a day that is dead will never come back to me. This single poem is paramount in analyzing Tannyson's grief. When he talks about the fisherman's boy that he shouts with his sister at play, to the sailor lad that he sings in his boat on the bay, to the stately ships go on to their haven under the hill, he's describing the stages of life from childhood to adulthood to death, and almost as quick a succession as he saw Holland's life go by. All of this while he begins the poem saying, And I would that my tongue could utter the thoughts that arise in me, which refers either to him not having the strength to express his sadness without getting choked up, or it works as an apology to both the reader and himself to say that he lacks the proper vocabulary to do his thoughts of grief justice. Stop that. He's sad because he lost

SPEAKER_03 44:00

The love of his life.

SPEAKER_00 44:02

You say that shit, but what would you feel if your best friend passed away? It would be horrible. Or mine. And I you know what I'll do? I'll just be like, what, are you fucking gay? Regardless While Tennyson found himself already largely retired from the poetic world. He and Holland's father saw fit to collect Holland's works and release them in a collection the next year in 1834 called Remains in Verse and Prose of Arthur Henry Holland. Tennyson was asked to provide a preface for the book, but once again drawing on past criticisms, found himself sadly unworthy to do so. Quote, I attempted to draw a memoir of his life and character, but I failed to do him justice. I failed even to please myself. After spending six years in the rectory his father once occupied, Tennyson and his family relocated to Ebbing Forest in Essex in 1837. Although he and his family lived in Summersby the last 28 years, Tennyson was anything but homesick. He found it nice for the family to stay in the quasi-countryside, but also to be so close to London. However, Tennyson was only allowed to leave home for a limited amount of time, as his neurotic mother would have panic attacks if he was away for too long. Well, maybe it was her constant irritations that caused Tennyson to become close friends with a nearby neighbor named Dr. Allen. Dr. Allen ran the local lunatic asylum.

SPEAKER_03 45:35

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 45:37

You know what? Your mother also makes me think about getting friends in other specialty departments.

SPEAKER_03 45:43

That's such a man time accurate man answer. I know. Quit bothering me. Otherwise, the loony bin you go.

SPEAKER_00 45:56

I mean. And hanging around with Dr. Allen worked for a bit until the doctor convinced Tennyson to sink his inheritance into some projects that he swore would be a good investment.

SPEAKER_04 46:09

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 46:09

Yeah, right. Nobody has ever been told a good investment idea. Never.

SPEAKER_03 46:15

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00 46:17

You see, Grandpa Tennyson had finally kicked the bucket in 1835, which left Alfred with a bit of cash. And no one's better at telling you what to do with your money than someone looking to invest in it. So while that was going on, Alfred's brother Charles is due to be married. And who should the 28-year-old Alfred Tennyson fall in love with? But the beautiful 24-year-old bridesmaid at his brother's wedding. What was that? What?

SPEAKER_03 46:45

Nothing. I was just waiting for it to turn shitty.

SPEAKER_00 46:48

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 46:49

Because his hero his hero was Percy Bish. 11-year-old brother. Like, and you know, his very you're winding it up like there he is. His brother's about to get married.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

You know what? Shelly, I think, was a lot less problematic. I feel like Shelly was a lot less problematic than like Lord Byron was. Lord Byron wasn't straight up pedophile, but like Shelly was just a fuckboy. I don't know. He still kept it within a good age range, I feel, I think, for his own age too, you know?

SPEAKER_02 47:24

Sissy sassafras fuckboy.

SPEAKER_00 47:27

What?

SPEAKER_03 47:29

Percy was a dork, though.

SPEAKER_00 47:32

Huh?

SPEAKER_03 47:32

Percy was a dork, though.

SPEAKER_00 47:34

Yeah, he was a dork, but you know, it's it's whatever.

SPEAKER_03 47:37

Go, go, carry on.

SPEAKER_00 47:38

Emily Sarah Selwood was born July 9th, 1813. Her father was a lawyer, and her mother was actually the younger sister to Sir John Franklin, the guy who headed the Doomed Franklin expedition in 1845 aboard the HMS Erebus and the HMS Terror. You know, like the Terror, the TV show. Yeah, yeah. Her brother is uh her brother's the guy from Chernobyl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, Emily's mother unfortunately passed when she was only three years old, leaving her father with three girls to raise on his own. And just like Tennyson's father, he made damn sure his kids got a good education. Now Alfred's brother Charles and his soon-to-be wife Louisa had been courting for a while. So Emily actually knew Alfred since she was about 16. Back then, though, there were no real sparks. You know, they were just a couple of kids that happened to know each other. Ever since their siblings' wedding, though, they were infatuated with each other. What?

SPEAKER_03 48:40

Puberty. She got boobs.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

Oh, I thought you said Britney. Like, this is a Britney Spears thing I don't know about. No, Ben, you act like having pubes is what gives you fucked. Anyway, Tennyson even wrote a sonnet for her shortly after, which read, quote, O bridesmaid, ear the happy knot was tied. Thine eyes so wept that they could hardly see. Thy sister smiled and said, No tears for me, a happy bridesmaid makes a happy bride. And then the couple standing side by side, love lighted down between them full of glee, and over his left shoulder laughed at thee, O happy bridesmaid, make a happy bride. And all at once a pleasant truth I learned, for while the tender service made thee weep, I love thee for the tear thou couldst not hide. And press thy hand, and knew the press returned.

SPEAKER_02 49:31

Why did you make him southern?

SPEAKER_00 49:33

Shh it's the best way for me to get her across, and thought, My life is sick of single sleep. Oh happy bridesmaid, make a happy bride.

SPEAKER_03 49:42

But she's not underage or his sister.

SPEAKER_00 49:45

What what does that have to what?

SPEAKER_03 49:47

Oh, because you're making him Southern.

SPEAKER_00 49:48

Oh, okay. What the fuck? You know, technically Caleb's from the South. He was telling me one time about this fucking like Mount Rushmore that they made for Confederates, and I was like, fucking what? And he was just like, yeah, dude, it's a movie rock wall.

SPEAKER_03 50:09

The most popular racists at school, like the historical version.

SPEAKER_00 50:14

I mean, I'm sure he went to the pole and everything. He had to have for all the moving he's done, he has to have gone to at least a Robert E. Lee Millennium. You know.

SPEAKER_03 50:23

I'm glad school let out in the summer because the way he tans would have outed him immediately. He's so white passing.

SPEAKER_00 50:30

Yeah, no, in the winter he's just like he's just like us, you know. But in the summer, Caleb fucking tans up and he's just like he becomes like you. Especially this one time that I saw him like pulling a scarp up scarf up over his head, and he fucking like stops it on his forehead. I don't know. And it started to look a little bit too turbanish, and it was like, oh damn, dude. Like you're a chameleon of race. So by the next year, they were engaged. However, Emily's father was less than thrilled to find out that his eldest was potentially marrying a fucking poet.

SPEAKER_04 51:03

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 51:04

So we set up a couple of rules. Just one, really. No marrying broke bitches. No worries, Tennyson probably said. I have a fat inheritance. Unfortunately, the investment Dr. Allen convinced Tennyson to take part in, wood carvings that were mass-produced using steam power.

SPEAKER_02 51:24

Oh Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 51:25

And no, I could find no more information on this. Turned out to be a huge financial waste of time. Alfred Tennyson was all but broke. And it was because of this that in 1840, his and Emily's engagement fell off. Alfred Tennyson soon moved to London, where on May 14th, 1842, he saw fit to not just release a new book of poetry, but a two-volume collection with the same name as his last book, simply titled Poems. But this release was a little more arrogant, as the first volume was just a collection of all of his old poems. Yeah. Now we kind of talked about this before with other poets, but when you release a poetry collection, you only really need to have a few bangers in there to have like a classic on your hands. So although Tennyson had already released half of this collection in the past, he was basically taking what he considered to be his greatest hits, like, no, fuck you, it's good. Look at it. And from the second volume, we would get poems that would become his new classics, finally releasing poems such as Break, Break, Break, as well as an updated version of The Lady of Shalot, and a poem called The Two Voices, which was just Tennyson giving himself the pros and cons of suicide and poetic verse. It was these poems, along with others, that would give Tennyson the title The Great English Poet of Grief. Now the thing about Tennyson's work is that he self-edited everything. For months, years even. A friend of his, contemporary poet Robert Browning, once saw how far Tennyson would go into making his poems what he considered perfect and walked away calling Tennyson insane and mentally infirm. But goddamn.

SPEAKER_02 53:17

It's just the opiates.

SPEAKER_00 53:20

Did Tennyson prove to the world that he knew what he was doing? The 1842 version of poems was an immediate success. And, as rare as it was, Tennyson would continue this practice throughout his entire career, writing little, but releasing even less until he saw his poems as perfect. But when he did release a poem, it was always held in high regard. For instance, in 1849, Tennyson would write a poem called Sweet and Low. Essentially a lullaby, the poem quickly garnered attention from the public and soon became the subject of a song in 1865. The song remained so popular that when Benjamin Eisenstadt released his artificial sweetener almost a hundred years later in 1957, he decided to call it Sweet and Low.

SPEAKER_03 54:10

The diabetic sugar shit.

SPEAKER_00 54:13

The diabetic sugar. The poem was an immediate success. It showed people that his 1842 collection of poetry was not some mistake, it was the rule. Tennyson is a great poet, and In Memorium, in particular, is still widely regarded today.

SPEAKER_03 54:45

Oh, right, right, right. The the don't love and lost and Yeah, you know the quote.

SPEAKER_00 54:51

Good job. It's better to have loved than never, you know, tucked him behind and let him No, wait. But it was in that same experiment. But it was in that same year in 1850 that Tennyson's uncle Charles Tennyson de Eincourt decided to release a book of poetry on his own.

SPEAKER_01 55:14

No.

SPEAKER_00 55:15

More than likely, he was fed up with people in high society learning that he was related to the great Alfred Tennyson, who came from a cast much lower than his. Well, the book Charles wrote was itself a commemorative poem, just like in Memoriam called Eustace. It was named after Uncle Chuck's fourth eldest child, who tragically died of yellow fever while in Barbados at the young age of 26. Unfortunately for Chuck, his work paled far in comparison to his nephew Alfred's, and just like the critics of the day were wont to do, they let him fucking know it. Although the comparisons between himself and his more famous nephew were no fault of Alfred's, it didn't stop Uncle Charles from calling his work, quote, horrid rubbish and a discredit to British taste. Like, goddamn, dude, it's still about a work about someone who's Yeah, but it's also about someone he lost, also. Like, calm the fuck down. Now, that same year as the release of In Memorium in 1850, there was a poet by the name of William Wordsworth, who was assigned as the poet laureate laureate of the United Kingdom. We've brought up this guy before. Lord Byron used to call him Turdsworth. Anyway, being the poet laureate is essentially a fake position that's seen as this big honor because it shows people that you're the greatest poet the UK has to offer.

SPEAKER_03 56:47

I will recognize only one poet laureate, William McGonagall.

SPEAKER_00 56:52

Oh wow. Damn. And in return for this honor, you're expected to write some propaganda showing how great the UK is and blah, blah, blah. Actually, Sylvia Platth's husband Ted Hughes was poet laureate for a little while.

SPEAKER_01 57:08

That's because he's a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_00 57:10

Yes, as was uh Tursworth. Uh, another was Robert Southey, who coined the term the satanic school of poetry when it came to Lord Byron and Percy Shelley, and whom Byron fired back with his poem The Vision of Judgment, also calling Southie a turd, actually. So a lot of a lot of pieces of shit. But anyway, when William Wordsworth passed away, the Royals thought, who better to take his place as poor uh poet laureate than Samuel Rogers?

unknown 57:37

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 57:38

Well, this guy Rogers said no, so the honor went to our very own 39-year-old Alfred Tennyson instead. Well, with the title of Poet Laureate, Tennyson was not only given an annual income from the government, but his poetry started selling better too. This finally gave him the opportunity to marry his childhood sweetheart, Emily Selwood. Likely due to her father figuring that Poet Laureate was really as good as it was ever gonna get.

SPEAKER_03 58:05

He's got money now.

SPEAKER_00 58:06

I mean, what else is it? He has some money now. It's an honor to be. I mean, he's as rich as a poet is ever going to get, you know what I mean? Together, Alfred and Emily would have two children. On August 11th, 1852, their son Holland was born.

SPEAKER_03 58:25

Aww.

SPEAKER_00 58:26

Also on March 16th, 1854, their kid Lionel, but that's not sentimental. Alright, now I had mentioned that the poet Laureate had to like write patriotic bullshit every so often, right? Well, the most notable one that Tennyson does, really one of his only rah-rah bullshit poems, I think, is a poem called The Charge of the Light Brigade, that he released uh he released the same year that his second kid is born in 1854. It's about some battle during the Crimean War, which happened just a month prior, and as we know about Tennyson, he likes to sit on things for a while before he can deem them perfect. Well, he didn't get that opportunity here. Instead, he was pressured to release the poem so the people had something to rally behind, which led to contemporary critics kind of giving the charge of the light brigade a bad review. Now, Tennyson himself never really cared for the poem, trying to even get it published under a pseudonym, and tried to go back and correct it several times over the next couple years to make it better. Anyway, the last stanza goes like this. Oh the wild charge they made. All the world wondered. Honor the charge they made, honor the light brigade, noble 600. Now, there are more famous Tennyson poems than this one that I'm not even going to go over. But this one stanza is going to make a difference in a big way. But we're going to get back to that later. Now, over the next 10 years, Tennyson's popularity would grow, but the work he'd published would be very little. Not because he was reworking his old stuff this time, it was because he was working on an epic volume of poetry that would arguably become his greatest work, The Idols of the King. Now, to focus on the work, Alfred and Emily rented a place they deemed the Faringford House on the Isle of Wight, which overlooked the sea. As ideal as this spot would be for Solitude, it soon became a tourist attraction, with people frequently knocking on their door to ask if the great Alfred Tennyson was home. Between this, the sheer amount of servants that trudged through the house and the guests that would stay for weeks at a time, it became clear to the Tennysons that Faringford House had been compromised. Luckily, Alfred had Emily, but Tennyson treated Emily as his equal to the point that she was considered by most to be his business partner. She managed his publications, his tours, everything, while also taking care of the children. So when people came around to ask for Tennyson, she was the one that would most likely be the one telling you no. Now, an easy way to rip off someone's story back in the day, poetry especially, was to set the work to songs or stage productions. Just like when his poem Sweet and Low was turned into a lullaby. That's no longer his poem. It's this guy's song. You get it? Usually usually you'd have uh Usually you'd either have to pay a little bit of royalties to the person who penned the lyrics, or if you were lucky, you could just make off with the money entirely. Well Tennyson fucking hated this practice, if you can imagine, and aimed to not be made a victim of it. So what he did instead was take his most famous poetry and set them to music of his own before anyone else could. And Emily actually conducted a fair number of the songs. I I think I looked through and they were not anything special, like nothing to write home about, but it was literally so that the copyright would be there in the first place. Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:16

Uh yeah.

unknown 1:02:18

That's it.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:19

It was a good bad bitch move. It's very, it's making me it makes me think of um who did bitches brew?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:27

Oh, uh Miles Davis.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:28

Yeah, it's very that's very bitches brew.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:31

Yeah, a bit. Um it also makes me think of okay, so for those of you that don't understand the feud that used to happen between Kanye West and Drake. What's the name of that song? Lift yourself, I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:49

Lift yourself up.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:52

So apparently, like the beats that were being sold by producers always went to either Drake or Kanye. And if Kanye had a beat that he was interested in and Drake heard about it, he would just instantly buy the fucking beat. And so Kanye was really sick of his shit, and Drake kept trying to start a feud with him for like, I guess, like, I don't know, a popularity contest. Kind of like what he tried doing with Kendrick, and then that ended up worse than he could have ever imagined. But Kanye bought the the rights to a beat that he was really interested in that Drake was, and he did that whole song Lift Yourself, which basically is just him scatting at the end of it, literally, as he goes, Hoop-de-scoop, poop-de-scoop, hoop-de-hoop-de-poop. And he was like, it was Kanye's way of making fun of Drake.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:41

No, you guys don't even understand. He's bars bars though.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:47

Yeah, Nicole listens to it incessantly sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:51

Sometimes we do have a good laugh about it when it comes on.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:57

And it it essentially it essentially stopped whatever feud was happening there because Drake just didn't know how to respond. But it's so funny because like the producer behind it like got the email from Kanye and he listened to it and he was like, oh fuck. Some internet troll found out my email and fucking gave it to me, and Kanye was like, No, yeah, no, that's real, that's mine.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:20

You think we need to explain the bitches brew thing?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:23

Uh, you know, I don't know the full story behind it. I believe it was supposed to be this thing that was just I think from what you think all the proceeds were supposed to go towards his wife.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:33

Yeah, it was something uh it was like he had an ugly divorce, and the contract said she got royalties for the next album. So he made bitches brew.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:45

And I think it was supposed to suck, but it ended up instead just making purpose. Yeah, but it kind of just wasn't like nowadays, it's like known as like a great scene for acid jazz.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:56

How was it back then?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:58

Exactly. I don't that I don't know. That's kind of like the monks. The monks are fucking great now. They're like you try listening to the monks back in 1957. I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:10

Or Percy Bysch Shelley.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:12

A little bit, yeah, actually. Now, unfortunately, near the end of their stay at Faringford on February 21st, 1865, Alfred Tennyson's mother, Elizabeth, passed away at the age of 84. Her burial a week later was fitted with all the stereotypical black plumage. But Alfred said his mother would have preferred a small gathering of white and gold instead.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:37

With dogs.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:38

Honestly, yeah, just beating dogs outside of the fucking funerals. Regardless, that same year with his popularity. Lordship. He respectfully declined. Then in 1868, a few years later, they asked again, but Tennyson still said no. It was between these two bids of baronship that Tennyson would collaborate on a collection of poetry called The Window or The Songs of the Wrens. This anthology was considered a song cycle as the poems were to be set to music. But this time the composer would be a man named Arthur Sullivan, and the artist they hired to illustrate the work was a man named John Everett Millet. So on October 17th, 1866, the two men sat down with Tennyson at Faringford House to drop the plans. I mean, it was a really good idea. You have three world-renowned artists to create something new. It was kind of like having Hideo Kajima, Guillermo Del Toro, and Junji Ito make a new Silent Hill game only to have Konami come along and fuck everyone over.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:00

So they make the walking simulator game.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:04

But it would be Tennyson who was the Konami in this instance. And I know that you understood that.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:16

Etc. etc.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:19

By February the next year, Tennyson still hadn't turned in his work. Just like everything else he'd submitted before, Tennyson was worried the poems for the window weren't good enough to be printed. It wasn't until August of 1867, almost a full year later, that Tennyson would finally hand the pages over to the publisher. However, he still didn't give the publisher the approval to print the work or to give it over to Sullivan or Millet until he was truly sure of the poem's merit. No, it wasn't until the Tennyson family had fully moved out of Faringford House in November of 1870 that he finally gave the sign, a little over four years since the three artists first met. By this time, the artist for the work, John Everett Millet, thinking that the project was just dropped and no one bothered to tell him, sold all the illustrations he'd made for the window except one. Because of this, the book was printed with only one random picture to show for it. The composer, Arthur Sullivan, was fairly pissed at Tennyson as well. In fact, he made it quite clear that he was reluctant to ever work with Tennyson again. Tennyson, on the other hand, was confused by all this animosity. So he offered Sullivan the opportunity to compose music for an additional play he'd written, which meant that instead of focusing on the window this whole time, Alfred Tennyson was working on a play called The Forester, or Robin Hood and Maid Marion, which took up an enormous amount of time that Sullivan and Malay could have used. So when Sullivan said, Fine, do you have the script for the new play ready? Tennyson said, No, I'm still working on it. And he would, for the next twenty years. Terrible dick.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:07

Terrible, terrible.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:09

In 1879, Alfred's younger brother and co-author of poems by two brothers, Charles Tennyson, passed away at the age of 70. It was at his wedding with Emily's sister Louisa back in 1836 that Emily and Alfred fell in love. Well, it turns out that the wedding itself almost didn't happen. You see, Charles had battled opium addiction all his life, owing to the quote unquote black blood of the Tennysons. But when he thought he finally had his habit under control, he and Louisa decided to get married. In celebration, Charles got balls out stoned for their wedding day. I've seen this happen. I'm not gonna name names. It wasn't ours. Now, this isn't to say that addiction was completely Charles's burden alone. Louisa, it turns out, was an opium addict also. And like all addict marriages go, Charles and Louisa's marriage lasted a little while before they decided to just live separately for the next 12 years without ever getting divorced. During this time, Charles Tennyson had actually published his own works as well. In 1864, he released a collection of sonnets called Sonnets. And then four years later a small tableau of works called Small Tableau. Finally, six years before his death, don't look at me like that, Charles published a volume of sonics, sonnets, lyrics, and translations called Sonic lyrics. Oh, so you know this guy. Now he never reached the same success as his brother Alfred, of course. But he did well enough that eight months after his death, Alfred and his son Holland collected Charles's poetry and released them in one volume of collected poems called Collected Poems. So you do know this man.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:03

No, just I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:05

It's just so basic.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:11

Yep. After his brother's death, Alfred believed that he could still sometimes hear his brother Charles speaking to him. Anyway, it wasn't until 1883. Oh, Buster just walked in with a toy. That's a really nice toy, but we cannot pay attention to you. Nicole, I forbid you paying attention to her. Anyway, it wasn't until 1883 that Tennyson would finally accept a nomination for him to become a baron. Turns out what led to him finally accepting the offer was a conversation he had with Queen Victoria. She consoled in Tennyson, telling him that when her husband, Prince Albert, passed away in 1861, she found solace in the words he wrote for Immemorium AHH. So what that means is that when he first got nominated for baronship, she was already like personally saying, Hey, I want this guy to be a lord because he's really helping me out, and so much so that she asked him twice before and he goes, No. Which is just shitty. But it came to pass that Alfred Tennyson would be officially sanctified as the Baron Tennyson in 1884 by Queen Victoria, leading to how the world would forever know him as Lord Tennyson.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:29

Woo! Lord Alfred Tennyson.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:32

Yes, that's not your you seem celebratory like it's the ending. It ain't. Now the next year.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:39

He's so old though.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:40

Well, I'm sorry. Now you know how Caleb feels about this. He's not dead yet? No. No, not yet. The next year, in 1885, Lord Tennyson would complete the epic poem he had been working on for the last 16 years of his life. Now Tennyson had released parts of Idols of the King since 1859. Variations of it at least. But as people knew about Lord Tennyson, publishing the story what?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:08

So it's Idols of the King we're talking about. It's not that Maid Mary and Robin Hood thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:13

No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:15

Yeah. But as people knew about Lord Tennyson, though, publishing the story as a whole was him putting a final nail in the story's coffin. Idols of the King is told in twelve chapters. It's the story of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table. Nothing new to the tales, really, just fantastic poetry. The neat thing about this book though is that Tennyson would use King Arthur as a representation for his view of Victorian England and the Victorian era as a whole. When the story starts, King Arthur is this proud hero, believing in true love and chivalry, very much the kind of knight errant that would make Don Quixote proud. But as the story goes on, and as Tennyson himself ages, what with the 20th century looming on and the technological revolution in full effect, King Arthur kind of becomes jaded towards the world. He finds the world is not a place where you can just fight off a limited amount of evil until everything is perfect. For example, there is a phrase King Arthur repeats throughout the work where he says, The old order changeth, yielding place to new And at first this is seen optimistically, that the the English rule is rising over that of pagan tribes, but by the end of the book, the old order changeth, yielding place to new, is said with gloom, as a finality to King Arthur's rule. And that, of course, of the era. Of course, when the book came out, Idols of the King was met with a massive success. To some, they saw this as a crowning achievement that would act as a final piece towards Tennyson's brilliance. And they were kinda right. People knew he didn't have much longer. This was no more evident than in 1886 with the passing of his youngest son, Lionel, who succumbed to malaria, and in 1887 with the passing of Lord Tennyson's sister and Arthur Henry Holland's fiance, Amelia, who had been greatly affected by his death for the last 54 years. She did get married at some point to a ship captain named uh Richard Jesse, with whom they had two sons. The eldest, I'm assuming without telling her husband Richard Y, was named Arthur Henry Holland Jesse. I mean, I wouldn't have said anything. I just think it is a good name.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:47

Just this specific combination pleases me. Doesn't it just roll off the tongue?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:53

What are the h what the hell is a Holland? You know what, dude? It's a nice hallway. You're asking too many questions. Amelia's other son, Eustace Tennyson de Eincourt Jesse, meaning she went with the dickhead Uncle Charles' surname instead of her own, would have a daughter of his own named Winifred Margaret Jesse. Now the only reason I bring her up is that she was a complete badass. She followed her father Eustace around Africa and Europe till she was 18 years old, where she switched the W and the F in her name around to become Frynowid, and dropped her surname Jessie to fully become a Tennyson. She then left home, never to return, and became a journalist for the Daily Mail. She even covered stories of World War One from the fucking front lines. But what she soon found a knack for were murder trials. She wrote several novels over the decades detailing different cases. And in 1924, she released a book called Murder and Its Motives. This book became a precursor to FBI field guides on how to understand why people kill.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:03

Are you gonna do an episode on Frennawid Winifred?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:07

No, that was actually all of the most interesting bits, but I mean that's the thing. There's not a lot of info on her. Because trust me, I did look it up. I was like, you know, maybe she's somebody and nope, and nobody How is that that that sounds like such an interesting?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:22

She she basically was fucking Eliza Thornberry. Yeah, a bit. And then she got into true crime and it and basically answered the question, you know, who's gonna solve crimes if we defund the police?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:36

Uh it's white women.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:37

White women doing investigative journalism slash podcast, but you know, didn't they have podcasts back then, so it was just investigative journalism.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:46

Well, and I looked up her like her bibliography too, and it's basically she would go to like the the trials and executions of all these people, and she would write like almost like a biography of these different killers. It was almost like her entire thing was just in cold blood, but like 24 times. So it it was really badass. But then when I tried looking up anything about her, it's like she is still from a wealthy family, so it's like the whole uh honestly, she was probably seen as a bit of a Jane Austen, but they were like No, we call her Winifred around here, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:22

They were probably just really embarrassed because she was out I don't want to say boss baby. No, no, here's she's out like doing cool working gal shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:34

Do you remember the HBO remake of Perry Mason? That only lasted two seasons, unfortunately, which you haven't if you haven't seen it out there anybody can have a film. It's really fucking good. It's too late they did cancel it, but those two seasons are fucking incredible. Well, Perry Mason's character is like fucking this like older like Mexican lady that's like a pilot, and every time that they're fucking though, she's like on top and fucking like he's like in the crack between the bed and the wall, and she's like fucking him so hard that like the bed is just like shifting and he's like falling. He's like, wait, wait, wait, you know. That's frenoid to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:14

Why aren't you doing an episode on her?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:16

I I can't find any info. I did look it up.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:19

I was like, Her rich family probably scrubbed it because she's she was too fucking cool. Uh obviously showing them up. It's fucking what's her face all over again? You can't draw for shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:30

Oh the Austin's. Yeah, no, that's uh who's Jane Austen's Cassandra. Cassandra Austin's Cassandra's burn all the time.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:37

Austin all over again because Jane Austen was probably they were all probably just ripping on her drawing. Like, I still can't believe that you think I look like this. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:48

And we did actually, so side note, we were in England not too long ago.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:55

It was sometime not too long ago, but it was more like when was it?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:59

March? 2025.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:01

It was 2024. So it was last year.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:03

Okay. Yeah, it's last year. Either way. Like late summer, early fall, last year. We did go to the portrait gallery in London because I did want to see the Jane Austen portrait. And I just went up to the guy because frankly, as far as far as art goes, I do not give a shit about portraits at all. And so I just went, Yeah, fuck you. I was gonna end that trip in 20 minutes, but I just like went up to the guy and I was like, Where's the Jane Austen portrait? The one that's really bad. And he was like, Ah, it's in Australia right now, and I was like, God damn it.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:32

Hanging upside down.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:34

Well, I paid all of this free for nothing. Anyway, as family dropped, Tennyson also was nearing the end of his life, and he knew it. He confided in his son Hollem about things of a religious nature, saying that he was more agnostic than anything, oftentimes believing in many different gods. But to his son, this just made him a quote unquote unorthodox Christian. Which that no, that's not what that means. Though I will say, Tennyson was around when Darwin published On the Origin of the Species, which shook his faith quite a bit. I mean, that is gonna tend to happen. I remember the same thing. Well, the same thing happened with uh Dickens, too, if I remember right. Like, yeah, you read On the Origin of Species, and he was like, Oh my god, you know, and I bet that happened to a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:24

Yeah, connecting the dots.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:27

I would be interested in seeing actually where like because I was I was just fucking around on online for what um one reason or another, and I saw this schism. Probably that, but I was looking at this timeline of like Christianity and where all this Christian porn? Oh my god, so good. It's it's nothing but firm handshakes. And so I'm looking at all the different schisms that happen throughout history, but I'm wondering when on the origin of the species came out if there was like a schism there too. But that would that would be I'm sure there's like gotta be a couple minuscule ones that happen.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:00

Anyway, in eighth, what I'm just thinking about like you said firm handshake porn, and I just thought of that guy that was on God. I'm brain farting on the porn website name, but he's just like, it's the casting couch, but I'm not gonna take advantage of you. I'm gonna be able to get the cracking.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:23

I think his name was Ryan Creamer. Yeah, it was just it was like wholesome, just him like, You're stuck, and I'm your stepbrother, but I'm not here to violate you, you know, and stuff. I'm like, can I help you? Oh boy, here you go. You know, yeah, no thanks necessary. Yeah, I remember that guy. In 1889, Lord Tennyson would suffer a serious illness, and while he managed to ultimately walk away from it, he wasn't sure at the time that he would. It was during a journey from his home in Spanish flu? No. Uh that doesn't come about for another that was in 1914 or 1916. Either way, uh it was during a journey from his home in Upper Black Down to his vacation home of Feringford that he seemed to have viewed his journey across the water as almost a metaphor for life. Crossing the bar is one of Lord Tennyson's last works. It's about crossing over a sandbar in the water, which acts as a border from life to death. Quote Sunset and evening star, and one clear call for me. And may there be no moaning of the bar when I put out to sea. But such a tide as moving seems asleep, too full for sound and foam. When that which drew from out the boundless deep returns again home. Twilight and evening bell, and after that the dark. And may there be no sadness of farewell when I embark. For though from out are born of time and place, the flood may bear for me uh bear me far. I hope to see my pilot face to face when I have crossed the bar.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:10

I wish they prepared us more for death when we were kids.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:15

Yeah, you don't go to a Russian school though.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:17

Yeah, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:18

On October 6th, 1892, Lord Tennyson passed away at the age of 83. His last words were Wait, what year was this? Uh 1892. His last words were, Oh, that press will have me now.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:36

What?

SPEAKER_00 1:24:37

I don't know. It's so it's stupid. I I guess that he's just like, ah, the paparazzi are gonna bother you guys, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:44

But it's just, you know, I'm thinking of him literally going into one of those old timey letter presses, like between the letters that they lay he they lay down and just laying on atop, you know, all those words, and then like getting squished.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:01

You're thinking about him sexually pressing on him?

SPEAKER_03 1:25:04

No. Like a letter press, like a little bit. Yeah, like uh, what was his name? Like Giddis or whatever?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:10

More weight. Yeah, that's what I say when I'm getting ridden. I'm like, more weight. Sorry, never mind.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:15

The press will get me now. Get me.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:20

He was buried at Westminster Abbey in the Poets Corner. His wife Emily would pass on just four years later and was buried in the All Saints Church near their home of Faringford in the Isle of Wight.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:30

That makes me sad that they're split up.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:32

I know, right? Like, uh apparently when Lord Byron kicked it, he got put in the poets corner, but he wanted to be buried next to his dog. And they didn't fucking do that. And I'm just like, exhibit the dog and put him in. It's not too late to do it now. You know what I mean? Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:53

Now just just I was gonna say also, just as yeah, that's really good age for that time, I feel like.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:02

Yeah, it's pretty good. Right? I mean, people were older then too. Were they? That's yeah, that's the thing about averages. No, it is still the average, but it a lot of it was childbirth and babies dying.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:15

Oh, and so that brought down the that'll skew the numbers, won't it?

SPEAKER_00 1:26:20

We ha we do have more people today that are born, or not born, but that live past the age of a hundred than there ever were back then. Like science and medicine are getting better, but more than anything, we stopped baby deaths a lot better by just washing fucking hands, you know. Well, we're bringing it back. Yeah, we're bringing it back.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:40

We love nostalgia, and that includes, as you say, measles, baby deaths, mother deaths.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:47

Conservatism means uh con like just conserving the old ways, and that just means I'm I'm pooping on my fingers before I hold my baby boy. Now, just four years before his death, back in 1888, Lord Tennyson would finally decide to bring about his play, The Foresters. But when he approached Arthur Sullivan, who I'm sure remembered what a pain in the ass it was to compose music for the window twenty years prior, he agreed on the condition that he do a little light editing. When the play premiered in America, it featured actor John Drew Jr., an uncle to many of the Barrymores and a huge fucking star at the time.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:26

Like Drew Barrymore?

SPEAKER_00 1:27:28

Yes. Which I don't know why Drew and then Barrymore. I bet it started as a hyphen, probably, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:35

My sister posed this question who was your favorite Nevo baby? Maybe her, maybe Drew Barrymore. As far as I know what though, she's a good actress though. No weird fucking scandals. I love her movies. She had solid a solid rom com career ever after was beautiful. Is if you disregard the fact that they're all using f like British accents, you know what though?

SPEAKER_00 1:27:58

When they're supposed to be French. Yeah, no, that whole Thing about favorite Nepo babies. The thing is, is like she she did get her start as a child, and there's no way that she probably like she did a fantastic job.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:09

She got a classic Hollywood up as a child actress.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:12

Oh, did she?

SPEAKER_03 1:28:13

Yeah, drugs at like 13, like hardcore.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:16

Was Judy Garland a a Nepo baby?

SPEAKER_03 1:28:19

I have no idea, but also drugs with her, hardcore.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:22

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, uh what do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:28:24

Hollywood is a is a is fine. Uh Hollywood is completely kind to children.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:30

Famously so.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:31

Famously.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:32

So naturally put all your kids in acting. So naturally with John Drew Jr. in the role, the play was an overnight success. However, by the time the Foresters had hit the stage at the Lyceum Theatre in London, it was already a year past Lord Tennyson's death. People were excited to see what was considered the last living work of Tennyson. Oh, hey. Okay, thanks. We're recording. I I don't think you're capable of the first time. He's gonna cut this out in post. Yeah, don't worry about it. Yeah, yeah, no, thank you. Okay. Thanks.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:12

I've tried that to you internet before. It smells good, but it's not strong enough to mask my musk. That's fine.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:19

I like your musk. Oh, do you? Just put on your pussy.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:24

Don't cut that out. I don't want to.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:29

So people were excited to see what was considered the last living work of Tennyson. The reviews were extremely harsh.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:39

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:40

It was agreed, it was agreed upon by critics even back then that Sullivan went a little overboard on his editing. Unfortunately, this dog shit play.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:50

No, I hate that kind of shit. I know. I hate that.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:52

It would still be seen as Tennyson's last living work. It's kind of like Dennis Hopper being in that animated movie, Alpha and Omega with the wolves, and it was horrible, and then he died. Well, after Lord Tennyson's death, the new poet laureate of the United Kingdom would be a man named Alfred Austin. And yes, I know you've never heard of him, but I would honestly be surprised if anyone else has either. There was apparently a few other people who were thought of for the position besides Alfred Austin.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:23

William McGonagall.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:25

You wish. Yeah, yeah. I do wish. Frankly, I think he'd already passed at this point and was just, you know, he died a legend in his own right.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:33

Yeah, give him his honors post mortem.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:37

You know that we have a collection of his poetry.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:39

I know.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:40

And I my bookmark is still in there, and it's not very far. Well, in particular, in particular, William Morris, one of the greatest textile artists who ever lived.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:52

Oh shit, I know that name though.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:54

Yeah, I had no idea was a fucking poet. Did you?

SPEAKER_03 1:30:57

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:57

I had no idea.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:58

I just look at pretty pictures. And he's just taking a shortcut.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:00

Yeah, no, because he's he's a very good artist. And then it turns out, like, he's a very good fucking poet, too. And I was like, wow, damn. Jack off of all trades.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:09

Artists will do all the arts except for get a real job.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:14

Yeah, so because uh William Morris had a park uh particular dislike for the royal family, and the only guy they could find who liked them was Alfred Austin, so that's why he ended up with it.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:26

Uh there was there was a reason he didn't like the royal family.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:29

Yeah, even back then. Uh there was literally a four-year gap between Tennyson and this guy. His work is largely forgotten today. Anyway, after his death, the title of Baron Tennyson was succeeded by Alfred's son Hollam. Five years later, he would release the first official biography of his father's life with much input from his mother Emily. Hollem would go on to seek a career in politics, which led to him becoming the second ever Governor General of Australia.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:59

Oh, interesting. Yeah. President of the Outback. Whenever I hear Hollem's name, I think Hollomotes.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:11

This is my son named after me, Hollomotes, Jr.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:16

Private Eyes are watching you in the Outback.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:19

Yes, he was in the Navy, Maneater, they called him. Uh he would also unfortunately outlive two of his three children.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:27

Oh, that's sad.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:28

His sons, Harold and Alfred Tennyson, were both killed during World War One.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:32

Harold, not Holland.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:34

Correct, yes. He uh his eldest, the third Baron Tennyson Lionel, also served in World War One but managed to survive. He never really did anything in his life.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:46

Saving private Lionel.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:47

No, that was stupid. He never really did anything in his life but rack up gambling debts through horse races and was seen by his father as bringing shame to the Tennyson name. That's fair. Gambling addiction is rough though. Yeah, but I I feel like it was more like I got nothing better to do. It's kind of like your uncle in the Philippines or a great uncle or whoever who's like he was like, Yeah, my eyesight is gonna.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:12

Lola, Lola Renee.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:14

Yeah. Well, I wasn't gonna name names, but he was like Lola Renee is not gonna listen to this. I don't think that they get radio out in the mountains there, but he was just like, he was like, My eyesight's going, so I can't read anymore. So now I just bet on chicken fights. Like that's all I do. Lola Renee.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:29

I he's really nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:31

He was. I had coffee and cigarettes with him one time. We we had a great time.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:35

Anyway, weird third world country homeland inheritance beefs. Oh, yeah. No, any Filipino will know. Yeah, every Filipino will know.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:45

Well, because of Lionel bringing supposed shame to the Tennyson name, when he published his memoirs in 1933, they were titled From Verse to Worse.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:57

That was Lionel's memoir. Yeah, I think that's a fantastic name. From verse to worse.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:09

Yeah, it actually does have a little bit of a Jenna McCurdy feel to it.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:15

I'm grateful great granddad's dead.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:19

After his death in 1951, the title of Baron Tennyson went to his son Harold, who died without an heir in 1991, then to his brother Mark, who also died without an heir in 2006, ending the Baron Tennyson name forever. As for Lord Tennyson's other kid, also named Lionel, he didn't really do anything in life except dig around in politics, as did Lionel's son Charles. But his grandkid Frederick Penrose Tennyson, who went by the name Penn, became a Hollywood director.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:49

Pen Pen.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:50

Nothing that anyone would know, though he was an assistant director to Alfred Hitchcock for a time.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:56

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:57

Yeah. Well, Penn Tennyson died in a plane crash during World War II. And while yes, he was an active member of the Royal Navy, and yes, he died right in the midst of the war. He actually died while he was trying to reach some Scottish Islands for a film shoot, and well, planes just sometimes do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:15

Was he 27?

SPEAKER_00 1:35:17

Fuck, I don't know. I mean, what good would that be? Like migration. That a lot of like that a lot of a lot of drug addicts whose frontal cortex haven't developed yet are just die at 27. Isn't that weird that drug addicts die like that? Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:35

Well, it's weird that they all die at 27.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:38

Not all of them. People are just remiss to even remember them. They're just like, well, there is no 24 club. What? Yeah, it's fine. It's it's just a beige dress. It's good.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:52

I wouldn't necessarily wear the the ones with the pearl, the Christian Dior with the Pearl.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:56

How did the sleeves look?

SPEAKER_03 1:35:58

I wouldn't wear the Christian Dior with the Pearl.

unknown 1:36:00

No, no, I'm wearing my Christian Dior uh in Euro.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:04

Oh, in Europe? In Madrid. But you can only afford Uniqlo. That's funny.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:12

Fun fact, Uniqlo in Asia is smaller than other sizes.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:18

Well, I know that.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:19

It's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't remember what the the sandals you're talking about look like.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:26

It looks good.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:29

Uh I I didn't get a chance. You scared me, so I didn't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:32

I know she scared me too, because all of a sudden there she is, a figure in pale fabric.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:39

Emily Dickinson. Now, whereas Penn's brother Julian managed to die a hero in the war, mere months before the war's end, their own brother Hollem would live on to become a broadcaster for BBC Radio and died in. Yeah. I I mean at this point it's just kind of tradition.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:58

At this point, so okay, so British naming standards are your favorites and reuse them.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:06

No, because well, okay, yeah, sure, maybe. I was gonna say that like Holland is not a common name at all.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:11

That's just purely a tennis pattern.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:13

Yeah. But as for Hollem, he would die in his sleep December 21st, 2005, at the age of 85. Of course, when I say died in his sleep, what I really mean to say is that he was stabbed to death in his bed, and the murder remains unsolved to this day.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:29

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:31

Yeah, I I looked a little bit into this. I didn't, I'm not gonna go into it, but like he had a lot of young men in and out kind of thing, and just you know anyway. Anyway, uh but idea. Oh fuck, I'm afraid what you might say.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:48

Her ghost comes back and she has to solve his murder.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:53

Are you trying to pitch to the BBC right now about one of their radio presenters?

SPEAKER_03 1:37:58

Whatever version of Angela Lansbury they got hanging around in one of their closets.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:03

I feel like they just have her skins as she sheds them and they just hang them up for later.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:08

Yeah, and then and they team up a woo an older woman, a pensioner close to death herself, meets the ghost of Frinifred Winifred, and they solve his murder.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:19

Yeah, and that jackass from the old uh BBC Pride and Prejudice is in there too. What's his fucking name?

SPEAKER_03 1:38:25

Oh, geez.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:25

Colin Firth, that's it.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:27

No, don't say it like that. I love him.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:29

I know you do. Fuck that guy. Anyway, so now as for Gently, lovingly. Anyway, that guy, he does have a grandson named Matthew who plays roles here and there in theater and on the BBC. So the Tennyson name is still. Neppo baby.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:47

I mean, kind of technically at this point, but really it's just like, oh, you're uh Well, if I were a casting agent and his like file came upon my desk, I'd say, huh, tennis in. Is that like uh yeah, sure, let's get him in there.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:02

No, I would go like, huh. Um, can you suck a dick? Well then get him in here.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:10

That's probably more how it goes.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:12

For my name's not Henry Weinstein. Well, it's Henry Holland Weinstein.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:17

It's certainly not I don't know what was his name, Richard Cremer or something. The wholesome.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:22

Vermia name's not Henry Holland Weinstein. Now, as far as Alfred's other brother that worked on the book Poems by Two Brothers, Frederick, the one that uh contributed four poems to the collection. Oh remember? I forgot all about his I know, and the the one that his dad was just like, I'm going to kill a bunch of people and I'm starting with him on the back.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:44

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:44

Yeah, yeah. No, that's Frederick. Well, he left. Well, no, no, this is just what happened with him. Now, likewise, he continued a career in poetry. He was a bit cooler than Alfred and Charles, though, in my eyes. He won awards for his poetry on Greek mythology and was suspended for three terms at Cambridge for refusing to accept a punishment for not attending church. Hell yeah. Yeah, right. He once got sent to the headmaster because he was four days late to class. Yet Frederick just told him that he was on a quote unquote long vacation.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:16

I like that. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:18

How late was he? Twenty minutes, four days.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:20

Uh when the headmaster I was on vacation. It's a really it's a perfectly reasonable explanation for my lack of attendance.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:30

Jerking it. Like when the headmaster demanded a letter of apology from Frederick, he took one folded up out of his pocket and handed it to him. Yeah. He knew. This caused quite the commotion from the headmaster. Yeah, no, Frederick sounds like a fucking baller, dude. He's cool as shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:48

He sounds like he's a prepared young man. That's right. We will go far in life.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:54

Likewise, Frederick had received an equal amount of disdain from his father, who saw a tremendous amount of disrespect in the way Frederick never wrote him back.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:03

George He didn't have enough room in his pockets.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:09

George Dennison was so upset by this that he almost demanded a constable to arrest his son and bring him home just so he could be banished from the family house. Luckily, Frederick's mother Elizabeth managed to stop him. Wouldn't you love that? Just like, constable, go get my son. Alright, here he is. Fuck off!

SPEAKER_03 1:41:30

These tenized men just marry the most gentle woman, it sounds like take pity upon him. He's but a lamb on vacation.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:40

He's just on a long vacation.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:41

He's gonna show up and ran out of room in his pockets. He's got so many other apologies to write.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:48

He's showing up with sunglasses on, I know it for a fact.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:54

It is funny to think about like how like Sardar, it's funny how to think about you know the existence of sunglasses going surprisingly far back. Like there are pictures of fucking Raspberry in the sunglasses.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:08

And brother, he looks chill as fuck. He looks like he plays in Black Sabbath, dude. He looks great.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:13

It still blows my mind that the only reason he was he seemed so unkillable was he was just on that many drugs and and and alcohol.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:22

Yeah, no, it's hella drugs, hella alcoholic. You're going off on a sidebar that takes a little bit of context to talk about if I decide not to cut this, but Rasputin drank so much that the lining in his stomach was gone, which was needed to activate that poison. Yes. So just the poison didn't work.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:37

Poison didn't work.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:38

Yeah. But uh but when he graduated, Frederick inherited enough money from a distant relative to fuck off immediately to Corfu in Florence. Uh I know, I know, don't say it. I know you want to go, we're gonna go to Corfu someday, I know. Uh he hated the monarchy, married a magistrate from Italy's daughter, didn't bother attending his brother's funeral, and died at the age of 89 on February 26, 1898. Awesome life. That sounds great.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:07

And he did it all with sunglasses and a pocket full of oops, I'm Sawies.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:13

Why is his why is this open casket? Didn't he die in an ATV accident? Yeah, but his bone are so big he couldn't fucking we couldn't close the fucking lid.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:24

It's still hard.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:26

It's rigamortis, brother. Although he tried his best to separate his family's name from those of the proper Tennysons, Alfred's uncle Charles Tennyson de Eincourt never made a real name for himself. He held office as a member of Parliament for many years, but he was unable to apply his name to the baroncy, though he did try numerous times. He also wanted to be a lord, basically. Uh nor was he able to change his name to something stupid. Honestly, yeah, if he didn't do that, it may have went back to him at some point or at least his family.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:01

Uh nor was he able to resurrect the Order of the Knights Templar, which he also tried to do on several fucking occasions.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:08

I feel like that's so there are just a few points in in the the in the lives of these people you're talking about where it's just like, oh that was a very abrupt turn.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:18

Yeah, it's I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:19

I always feel like Knights Templar.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:22

No, before Weaboos, there were always people that were into like old English shit. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:44:26

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fandoms. They existed.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:29

Yeah, no, it's it's for sure a fandom thing. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:32

Fandoms. Cringy fans always existed out there ruining all the cool shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:38

And it's like, brother, you would have been slaughtered during the Renaissance. Are you kidding me? Like Well, Charles died July 21st, 1861, at the age of 77. Not quite long enough to see his own family name actually achieved the baron title, which finally happened in 1921, thanks to his grandson, Sir Eustace Tennyson de Eincourt, more than likely named after his grandfather Charles' favorite son that died young. Sir Eustace designed a shitload of British warships during World War One, so he actually earned that title.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:10

Yeah, so that would do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:11

It's nothing to do with has nothing to do with the Eincourt name.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:15

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:16

As for Uncle Charles's lavish estate he deemed Bayons, the castle he spent so wantonly on was already dilapidated by 1944, where a farmer bought the land for farm use and demolished the castle 20 years later.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:31

I thought that was fun.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:33

Demolishing a castle? It sounds like work though.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:36

No, just demolishing in general.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:38

So that would have been 1960s.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:40

I'm just picturing him, I don't know, taking a big old wrecking ball, like do they have wrecking balls though?

SPEAKER_00 1:45:45

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:45

I don't know. How old are wrecking balls?

SPEAKER_00 1:45:47

I don't get it I actually I'm a little I kind of get a shot, please. I kind of get a shadow rest of this beer.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:52

Drink that beer while I Google. That's a wrecking ball. A wrecking ball or demon listen ball. Let's see. An early documented use was in the breaking up of the SS Great Eastern in 1888. Oh slash 1889.

unknown 1:46:11

Huh.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:12

By Henry Bath and Coe at Rock Ferry on the River Mersey.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:18

That's kind of our back. Yeah, but I mean that's also just a guy who is like, can we just put a fucking like shitload of concrete on a fucking thing?

SPEAKER_03 1:46:27

And that's also just that's not the invention of it. It's just an early dark documented use. So I I forget what your timeline is for the buying and demolition of the 1960s, 1960s.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:38

Which oh you know what? Oh, they could have those old Looney Tune cartoons had it, and those were in the fucking 40s, so it's like, yeah, no, they had it.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:46

So they totally could have gotten a wrecking ball to go into Dying Court's uh castle.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:53

Well, speaking of destroying castles, the home Lord Tennyson died in, the upper Blackdown House, was nearly destroyed in 1967 when Iberia Flight 062 coming out of Spain crashed into the sleepy hillside of Blackdown, killing all 37 occupants as well as 88 sheep. Jesus. Most heartbreaking of all, though, is that the Tennyson home's garage was slightly damaged in the crash. So that's a bummer.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:19

Now I want you They could have had Castle Donnie Darko.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:26

The Darko household. Now I want you to think back on the poem Charge of the Light Brigade. That uh propaganda one that he had to do.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:34

Yeah, and nobody liked it.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:35

It was just like, this is mid- Yeah, in which a stanza goes like this. When can their glory fade? Oh, the wild charge they made. All the world wondered. Honor the charge they made! Honor the light brigade! Noble 600. During the 90th anniversary of the battle Tennyson was referencing, the poem starts to make its rounds again as radio stations are talking about that historic day, right? Like some Today in history bullshit. Well, the day was October 25th, 1944. The United States is in the middle of a huge sea battle off the Philippine coast of Samar against the Japanese. This fight in particular had us up against the Japanese warship Yamato, which, if you don't know, was a heavily feared battleship. Even though in reality it ever only really sunk one battleship. Do you remember uh you'll have to remember Metal Slug X? It's like um fucking like mission four, I think, or five, when you're like in the uh when you're in the city and there's that big battleship that fights when you're like anyways, that boss, yeah, that's like based off the motto.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:43

Wild that you think I could get that far. No, but Metal Slug X.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:47

Well, you you were there basically to draw enemy fire while I tried to rank up a high score.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:52

Well that would do that that would explain it.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:55

Um so the Americans are under attack, but all Admiral Halsey and his crew, Task Force 34, can do is listen over the radio, as their orders are to lay covering fire at a completely different island for another operation. Now the thing is, what we did to scramble messages back then was that we had words randomly pulled from news cycles off the radio and placed around the message we were actually trying to send. And only the guys trained to decipher the messages were able to tell what they were really trying to say. So the message that goes out to Halsey and his crew begins like this quote Turkey trots to water GG from Sinpak Action Calm Third Fleet into Comment CTF 77X. That part's all bullshit, right? Random stuff pulled from nowhere. The next part where is repeat, where is task force thirty four? That's the real message. After that is more scramble bits from the radio, specifically from Tennyson's poem, which states quote, the World Wonders. But whoever was doing the decoding that day fucks it up a little and includes the last part. So the message Admiral Halsey gets is where is, repeat, where is Task Force 34? The world wonders. And Halsey sees this as a fucking jab. Quote, the paper rattled in my hands, I snatched off my cap, threw it on the deck, and shouted something I am ashamed to remember. Halsey pulls back from where he's supposed to be, and leaves his men open to attack while he tries to attend to the battle off Samar, finding himself too late to help. Thankfully, both that battle, as well as the one Halsey was supposed to be defending, end up an Allied victory. But it's possible that Lord Tennyson was inadvertently responsible for killing Allied soldiers.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:53

These rich people take and they take and they take and they take. When will it end?

SPEAKER_00 1:51:00

The what people?

SPEAKER_03 1:51:01

Rich people, the landed gentry, landlords, politicians. War pegs.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:12

In closing, Lord Tennyson held the poet laureate position from November 19th, 1850, until his death on October 6th, 1892. A total of 42 years. And it still remains the longest anyone has ever held the position.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:29

Is it because they keep dying?

SPEAKER_00 1:51:31

No, I think they actually give it up after a while because they just don't want to support the royal family. My source is today. The Bridesmaid by Alfred Tennyson, Poetry Explorer.net. A Spanish Girl is a Volcano by John Pemble, 10th of September 2025, London Review of Books. Uh Lrb.co.uk How Tennyson Grieves in Poetry by Nerdwriter One, YouTube.com. Idols of the King by Alfred Lord Tennyson, Hufton Mifflin and Company, First Edition, 1896. Tennyson History Blog. WordPress.com. Uh Jenny or Geni at G-E-N-I.com. Farringford.co.uk.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:18

Jenny.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:19

Yeah. Um.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:20

So what do you think?

SPEAKER_00 1:52:22

About what? The information that I just presented? Well, I've known about it for some months now. What do you think about it? It's fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:31

What a varied and interesting life.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:35

That's right. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:38

It's amazing what you can do when you have financial security.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:42

Fucking run off and be Eliza Thornberry and write manuals.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:47

Your one takeaway is a girl that never even knew him.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:52

No, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:54

No, that uh that book though, the the first edition people, these tennyzens. Yeah. That first American edition of uh Idols of the King. We do have that. It did come from um my grandma in Wisconsin. She gave that to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:09

Thank you, Grandma in Wisconsin. Yeah, thank you. You're never gonna listen to this. Yeah, she won't.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:13

But bless you all the same. She's a nice old lady. She sees it. Yeah. I've never met her. She shakes a lot. Um but don't say it like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:25

Chihuahuas shake a lot, and they're cute.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:27

She's actually really small and cute, too. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:30

She's kind of is she apple headed or deer-headed?

SPEAKER_00 1:53:33

Uh yeah, her eyes do bulge a bit. Um, so but uh that belonged to her father, and um it's funny because when I was reading Idols of the King, and I'll I'll include a picture of this on the Caleb Can't Read Instagram page, but um, my great-grandfather had actually drawn a little liquor bottle in the margins of um the chapter, The Holy Grail, and he put like shine around it.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:58

It's just like me, for real, for real.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:59

Yeah, right. I was just like, oh shit, alcoholism does run in a page like uh, what is it?

SPEAKER_03 1:54:04

The pay the Tennyson Patriarch, for real, for real.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:08

I'm gonna start with Frederick.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:11

Oh good God.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:12

Well, that was the takeaway.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:15

I mean referencing the material that you just gave me.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:17

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, this is this is also coming from um from grandparents that forgot their youngest baby uh at the bar once. But it's okay. They drove home drunk and they thought that they left him, and they uh actually uh brought him and he was in his crib. And uh they were la big a big laugh about that one. Anyway, well, see you later. How did what?

SPEAKER_03 1:54:45

How did humans survive?

SPEAKER_00 1:54:47

Uh if you grow up in Wisconsin, it's easy, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:49

Fuck, I guess.