Are you in the Gap or the Gain?

I recently read (listened) to “The Gap and The Gain” by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. I was really intrigued by the concept of how we can so easily fall into The Gap, and focus on what we don’t have, instead of The Gain, where we can appreciate what we’ve already done to get where we are. At first, I thought it was a simplistic concept, but it gets much deeper in this very short book.

Listen to this new 7-minute episode for my take on the concept of The Gap and Gain, and how you can use it to achieve more.

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Below is a full transcript. If you have any questions about anything in this, or any of my podcasts, or have a suggestion for a topic or guest, please reach out directly to me at Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com or contact me via text, use the short form on this page, or call 732.422.6362

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- Are you in the gap or in the gain? Want to find out what I'm talking about? Listen to this episode. Hey, it's Alan Berg. Welcome back to another episode of the "Wedding Business Solutions" podcast. I just finished reading a book called "The Gap and the Gain," by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy and I have to admit when I first started listening to it, I do audio books, when I first started listening, I wasn't quite getting what they were talking about, wasn't quite getting into it, but I persisted because I felt there was something there. And I'm so glad that I did because this concept of the Gap and the Gain is something that we're all living with every day.

So, here's what it means and I'm totally paraphrasing what's in this book. Please go, read it for yourself, listen to it. It's not a very long book and if you listen to the audio book, Dan Sullivan is actually the one who's narrating it, but he talks to Benjamin Hardy in between chapters to discuss what just happened. So, it's kind of like being at a book reading with the authors. So the Gap is when you feel like you haven't achieved what you want to achieve, when you feel like you're not succeeding at what you're doing and the Gain is when you're able to look at all the progress you've made that's brought you to this point, even if you're not where you want to get to, but instead of focusing on the negative, you're focusing on the positive.

Now I've totally oversimplified this, but think about this: If you think about yourself in a business. If you've been in business for one year, five years, 10 years, 20 years and think about what you've achieved to this point, what you take for granted because it's just natural to you now in your skill, whether it's the business skill, the sales skill, the creative skill, whatever it is you do or are you looking and saying, ah, I'm not as good as that person there or I haven't achieved this particular sales number or profit number or whatever it is. What are you focusing on there? And it's easy to fall into the gap and as the authors say, we all do, we all fall into that, oh, I didn't get to here, I haven't gotten that and then you're focusing on what you don't have instead of all the progress you made there. I had that myself, if I think back so many times in my life, when I wrote my last book, "Why Are They Ghosting Me?" I got stuck, I got stuck and I'm like, ah, I'm not going to get this done. I'm not going to get finished. Instead of looking at how much I've already written, how much I've already progressed, I'm focused on what I didn't do.

And then I actually heard about this major national news anchor who had written his fifth or sixth novel and I'm thinking how does this person have time to write this novel when they're on national TV every day? Aren't they busy? And they said that they spend 15 minutes a day writing, at least 15 might be more, but at least 15 minutes a day writing. And I thought, well, I have 15 minutes. I can do that and I sat down and some days it was 15 minutes and some days it was more and some days it was a couple of hours and next thing you know, the book was done. So, I had been focusing on what I hadn't accomplished and then I focused on, well, look at this, I got 15 minutes more done, look at this, I got another half an hour done, I got another 15 minutes and focusing on the gain that look how much progress I'm making towards this instead of look what I didn't do yet and as I start to write my next book. I already have notes, I have thoughts in my head, I'm putting more notes down and I'm not worried about when it's going to come out, I'm not worried about the negative, I'm worried about, or actually not worried, I'm thinking about the positive and how much progress I'm making towards this already.

Now, maybe because it's my seventh book, actually more than that if you count the second editions, so it's probably my 10th book, but I know things I didn't know. It's easier. When I go to do the audio book, it's going to be so much easier because I've done six audio books already, so it's going to be easier for me to go ahead and do the next audio book because I know the process. Now, I could go back and thank the first time I did it and all the failures that I had, believe me, I had epic failures when I was trying to make the first audio book. But I persisted because I needed to get to the end, which was the satisfaction I got this done and every time I got another chapter done and another chapter done and another chapter done, I'm able to focus on that progress that I'm moving instead of what I haven't achieved yet. 

So, where are you right now? Are you in the gap? Or are you in the gain? Are you focusing on the negative, because we had a lot of negative over the last couple of years and things we could focus on. Focusing on the positive, I'm still here, I'm still standing, I'm paying the bills, puttin' food on the table, roof over the head? Maybe you had a great year here monetarily, helping to make up for some other other years. Great, are you focusing on the future and saying, hey, we're getting new leads, we're converting those to appointments and conversations and we're making sales and focusing on all that positive that's around us because it's up to us, what to focus on. We can choose and this is a choice what to focus on.

So, if you get a chance to read "The Gap and the Gain," again, I'll put it into the show notes here, Daniel Pink and Dr. Benjamin Hardy was it here? Sorry, my phone is not opening for me. I will put this in here. Benjamin Hardy, yep. So, Dan Sullivan, Dr. Benjamin Hardy. I'll put it into the show notes so you can get it, get it on paper back, get it on Audible, get it on Kindle, whatever it is. It's a short book. It's real easy. It's like four and a half hours or something like that in an audio book. You can sit down and listen to it in a couple of sittings or on a long drive, right? But think about "The Gap and the Gain," think about what you've already accomplished. You're so good at what you do because you've accomplished so much. Take heart of that. Think about how what brought you here is going to help you move forward towards the next thing and focus on the gain and not the gap and if you fall back into it, which we all do, dust yourself up, focus on the gain, move yourself forward. Thanks for listening. 

I'm Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you'd like to suggest other topics for "The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast" please let me know. My email is Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com. Look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.

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