Why Saying YES to After Hours Patients is Keeping You Broke

If you've ever stayed back for "just one more" client, driven out of your way to fit someone in, or opened your book after hours because you couldn't bear to let someone down, this episode is the loving wake-up call you need. Andy and Jacinta get honest about why saying yes to after-hours clients is quietly keeping you broke, burnt out and resentful, and share the exact stories (including Baby Andi's road trips across Perth) that taught them to hold the line.

In This Episode:

• Discover why saying yes to after-hours clients usually comes from people-pleasing and scarcity, not smart business strategy
• Hear the "Baby Andi" story of driving all over Perth for home visits, and the blunt question from a mentor that changed everything
• Find out what actually happened to those clients when Andy finally set the boundary (spoiler: she made more money and got her time back)
• Learn why "you can't trust a people pleaser," and how saying yes with your mouth while resenting it in your body sabotages your practice
• Understand the lighthouse metaphor and why being rock solid makes you more magnetic to the right clients
• Get the body-check exercise that tells you where your real boundary is when you've been too loosey-goosey to know
• Learn the exact script for communicating a boundary change to clients without the guilt, including the future-date and referral approach
• Discover why every exception comes at a cost to your time, your energy and your worth, and how to finally hold the damn line

Key Quote: "You are the lighthouse. You're not moving. And people will find you." - Jacinta

Mentioned in this episode:

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

What do we do? What do we do now if it is that you've identified, oh no, I have I've been a bit leaky with this boundary of mine and now I'm seeing clients here, there, and everywhere. If that is you and you're wanting to reverse it, it is going to take. Welcome back to another episode of the Wealthy Wellness Business Podcast. Today we are talking about why saying yes to clients after hours is actually keeping you broke and not making you more money, which is what you're probably thinking it would do. Okay, so we see all the time that people might be saying yes, trying to fit clients in, people pleasing, um, missing their family dinners because they're too busy staying late at the practice, fitting that one more client in. And quite often this comes from a place of not because you're making a smart business decision of like, I want more revenue, so therefore I'm going to do this. Quite often we find it comes from a place of not wanting to let people down. And instead, instead of standing in your boundary, you are trying to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

So this makes me think about a story, story time, baby Andy, baby Andy. So I was six years into clinical practice and decided to start open space. And there was a period of time between leaving my old position and starting the business where I had a home practice. I did not know this. Oh, really? Yeah, I did. I've done lots of things. So had a home practice. I was operating from the front room of my house. However, baby Andy, God bless her, she was so scared that if she didn't make it easy for clients to see her, then she would lose them, she wouldn't be able to survive, um, the money wouldn't come in. And so because I had clients coming to see me from all over Perth, I decided to do home visits for the people who lived really far away from me. So there were people who would travel, yeah, 30, 40 minutes to see me. And so I would do days where I would drive north of the river like 30 minutes or so, and see five or six clients just do like a you know, little road trip of all their houses with my portable table, setting it up, like doing these visits and being so worn out. And I s I shared this with my mentor at the time, and her jaw dropped, and she looked at me and said, Why the fuck are you doing that? And I was shocked because I thought that I was making good go and decision as a business owner. Like I am retaining all these clients that if I didn't drive to their houses, then you know, they probably would see someone else. So it made sense, it made so much sense to me. She she lovingly, lovingly shared that I didn't need to do that, that I was stretching myself too thin, I was wasting my time and energy, and I needed to just focus on the home practice and you know building building the business. And so lo and behold, I very, very challengingly had these conversations with these clients, and it was me. I was scared to tell them that I wouldn't be coming to see them anymore because I was so scared of losing them as clients. Uh, however, guess what happened? They came to see me at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, and so I had so much more free time. I wasn't spending fuel driving around like a freaking maniac with its head cut off and made more bank.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

Well, yeah, the thing is, is that like I know we're laughing now, but this is such a common story. And I think that like I reckon the majority of practitioners go through this at some point in their career. I did exactly the same thing, not driving around all the Perth, but absolutely fitting people in when, in actual fact, I didn't want to see them after hours. So I distinctly remember um this one client that I had when I was in my first year of practice. And again, like I was building, right? So I was trying to take whatever I could get instead of I wasn't in my boundary enforcing era. I was like, anyone who wants to see me and everyone who wants to see me at any time, please come because I need to pay my rent.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Like you were loose. I was I was loose with those boundaries. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still still up. She was so loose, but in a different way. Yeah. I could have gone somewhere really different there. Anyway, we had our birth episode, we just recorded that. That's what made me think of it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

So I had this one client. She would come in, and it's we, and when I start talking, it's like everyone's gonna know the type of client this is because I think everyone has this type of client. So she comes in and she's like, at first it starts off with, oh, you know, the consult's done, right? We're finished. And then it starts off with, oh, can you just check this? And then I'm like, okay. So I check that, and then can you just check this? Okay. And so now we're like double time appointment. I have I charged more? No. Have I told her that we're done? No, I just keep pandering to all these things. So continue to do that. And then it was um the next the next time. Um, can you see my son? But I don't want to do the initial consultation. I just want you to like adjust him. Of course I said yes. Yep, right? Yep, whatever, whatever you want, we'll do it.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

Um, and then next time it was um, I'm gonna be running late, but and I can only see you like when I'm free, and that's after my clinic is finished, like shift time is finished. Yes, I will see you. It got to the point where I had said yes so many times that uh it's like that thing of you give an inch, you they take a mile, right? And I was creating this dynamic, like actively creating this dynamic between us. And then I remember this was like the turning point. I came out, I was fully booked, back to back. Now, this was then like maybe six months later, now I was booked and busy. So I was no longer feeling like I needed, quote unquote, needed that appointment, that that revenue. And she was sitting the reception, and the receptionist was looking at me like, oh my god, like Jay, help, help, help. And I was like, what? And then she pulls me inside and she goes, She won't leave. And I said, What do you mean? And she said, I've told her you're fully booked, but she won't leave. She's demanding that you see her for an appointment. And I was like, okay, crossroads moment. Um, guess what I did? I saw her. I saw her for the appointment, took her in. And then at that moment, I felt really bad. I knew that I had done like that I had made the wrong choice and that I was now really crossing my own boundaries. And what had started to happen is I was getting angry at her and resentful at her. But in actual fact, I was people pleasing. So I was not to be trusted because I was saying yes, yes, yes, yes. And this is like why I have this rule now where it's like, don't trust a people pleaser, even though we all are a bit like that. But it's like, even for I check myself, like you are not to be trusted if you're people pleasing because you are not truthful. You're not actually saying what you want and need, and so you are making people think that you're happy with what the scenario is, but actually you're bitching about it behind their back, which is not fair.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

It's it's the the highest form of sneaky manipulation. Totally. We are manipulating that person to be liked gross.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

It's and you know, and we say that with love. We say that with love because we all do it. Yeah, but it's like just being aware that this is actually what's happening subconsciously behind the scenes. Yeah. And so then I had to make a really clear decision of like, I really need to now like have this big conversation with this person to just let it like go so far. Yeah. I've let this go so far now, I need to like have this conversation. There was a bit of conflict, and then it was like bang, okay, we're good. But I truly believe that people like this come into our life not because they're bad people, but because they are people that are there from the universe to test your boundary. And they're put in front of you on a silver platter when you're ready to graduate to the next level of like up-leveling, to be like, are you still going to settle for this? And this is what I see in our Academy members a lot when they are taking on a lot more outside of hours, and we're starting to, and they're they are coming to see us because they're stretched thin, they are wanting to reduce their consulting hours, they're wanting to spend more time with their family, but they're not fit sure how to do that. And we're we're hearing that they are like opening their books after hours to people. And that's one of the first things that we that we coach them on. But it's often so hard to move out of that because then it's we're faced with the challenge of I need to now set this boundary because maybe I didn't even have any before. Not only do I need to set it, but I need to identify even what my boundary is. And I need to now come to this conflict and rewrite this story for myself moving forward. And sometimes it can take the um, you can people can draw the line in the sand and that's easier. And for others, it's like we have people that we're mental, and even myself, it's like you set that boundary, you have all the best intentions moving forward to no longer take on people after hours or cross those boundaries for yourself, but it sneaks back in in other ways, you know? And so it's just about identifying those things and knowing that if you are falling into even the scarcity trap, like what you were talking about, Andy, before, it was like, well, if these people, if I don't see them, then the revenue's not going to come in. You are literally putting out into the universe that money is scarce, and I need to bend myself into a pretzel in order to be profitable versus putting that, and like I cannot tell you the amount of times we have done this in the practice with associates, whereby they say something like, I don't want to drop my sad days, but I'm like really want two days off in a row, and so like can we shuffle things around? And we're like, Yeah, like people clients will find you, but they are so scared to drop, quote unquote, drop their busiest shift because they think that people won't fit in to their schedule. But when you draw that line in the sand, it is amazing what happens when you just have those barriers. It's like when you go bowling and you put up the, you know, the side part of the rooms. Yeah. Yeah, the ball stays in the rail. But if you have no rail, the, I don't know, where the ball's going, it's going into the gutter. Yeah, your practice goes into the gutter. So really see this as if you have this dedicated time for seeing clients and you honor that, it means that you no longer let your energy bleed into other hours of the day. Because as the practice owner, your time is your most valuable asset. And you could be spending that time working on projects that are growing your business, or more importantly, spending time with the ones you love without constantly having every tab open. You are literally robbing from the lifestyle that you are saying that you are trying to create by having this leaky boundary with seeing clients after hours.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

And as you were talking, I got an image and I use this reference all the time when I'm mentoring clients in our team of being the lighthouse. So you are the lighthouse, you're not going anywhere yet. You're stable, you're rock solid, and you're going to attract people to you. But you're not shifting or changing, like you're the lighthouse that you magnetize people to you. And as soon if you're thinking of you know making an exception for your Mr. Pointment policy, or you know, squeezing that that client in when you know that it's going to rob the other clients around that client of like their time and your presence and your energy. Like just remember the lighthouse. You are the lighthouse, you're not moving. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

And people will find you, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

And you're in the light as well. We're not in shadow. We're in the light.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Yeah. So what do we do? What do we do now if it is that you've identified, oh no, I have I've been a bit leaky with this boundary of mine, and now I'm seeing clients here, there, and everywhere. And how do I reverse this thing now? Yeah, because it is going to take, if that is you and you're wanting to reverse it, it is going to take a strategy to maneuver that. Yeah, because we you've set a standard. So the first step is to just get really clear on what your actual boundary is. Now, if it is that you originally had a shift that finished at five and you're taking on a client at five into six, but in actual fact, you are okay on a full-time basis to take a client up to six and that be your last one, then maybe the boundary just needs to be like maybe you just make that parameter. But don't you need to know, you need to know where what you are okay with and what you aren't okay with. And do this in an environment and at a time where you feel really regulated and you're not in that scarcity mentality because you don't want this scarce part of you or the scared part of you making these decisions.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

And so I'm just gonna like interrupt you there because um I think that some people might be thinking, okay, well, how do I even know like what my boundary is? Because I'm so loose. I'm so loose. Um, and look, the reality is I could do anything. Any, I could be anybody's, right? We're just gonna go with that joke. Um, so how do how do you know what your boundary is? And doing a body check because your physical body never lies, like uh getting into your body and breathing into both scenarios of okay, opening my book to six o'clock or keeping it at five, visualizing breathing into each of those different situations and what feels good. Like what feels good in your body, like what is a I'm breathing into my heart, I'm moving forward, I'm saying yes, or what feels icky, contracting, I don't like it, I want to move away from it. And your body, your body will tell you what the most aligned decision is for you by doing that exercise. Yeah, amazing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

Number two, point number two is once you have identified your boundary and you're no longer loosey-goosey, identify why it is that you are crossing it or why it was that you were crossing it, whether or not it was that maybe you did have a belief that you needed to make yourself really available for people to do good business. Maybe you um, you know, maybe you're people pleasing, maybe it's for a completely different reason that is valid, and actually you want to roll with that. So really get clear about why you're crossing it and then do whatever the internal work is to move through that. So if you are, if you've identified it and you're just like, oh my gosh, this keeps happening, and I'm I'm stuck in this over and over again, then this is where I love incorporating things like breath work and um somatic healing, because quite often this stuff is stuck in our subconscious body. And when it's it's not easily identifiable what it actually is that is keeping us in that zone. Okay, so doing the healing work that's required to you know make better choices for yourself that are more aligned choices. Number three, this is where once you know where your boundary is, we need to then communicate it to clients. This is where everyone goes, so a really beautiful strategy that I love is to make a time in the future that you're going to set that standard with the client. So you're not having to like there and then, right in front of them, say, I'm no longer from this day forward seeing you at six o'clock. You can only come five and before. You might say something like, I wanted to let you know as a courtesy that as of X date, my opening hours are from eight till five. And so you do have some appointments in the future booked at six o'clock. Um, however, let's get you in at a different time. I have 2 p.m. or 3 pm available. What will work well for you? And then if they say I can only come at 6, say, oh, that's such a shame. Um, obviously, I, you know, would love to see you. However, if it is that you can only come at that time, I also have a practitioner that does work at 6 o'clock that I can refer you to.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

That's that's that's gonna be hard for some people. That's gonna be hard for some. And this is where we grow. So necessary. Um, one thing that may help, and it really depends on what type of practice you have, like how big it is, like what your team is like, because we just did something similar for our missed appointment policy. So we have a very strict policy procedure, it is upheld. However, we made it even tighter, even tighter. It's like rock solid, and people have to pay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we advertised it, we did a bulk newsletter email to everybody. Um, and there was about a four-week period of grace. Um, and the front desk were communicating the new missed appointment policy with every every client. We had it printed in the reception. So these are things that can give you that degree of separation so that you like are protecting your peace and still enforcing the boundary as well. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

And then the final piece of this puzzle, once you've made that that set that standard, had that conversation, communicated it, is to hold the damn line. Like that, I think that this is that's the hardest bit. Yeah. It's the next time someone says, Can you just squeeze me in at and you say yes. Instead of reinforcing what you have decided that you're wanting to change.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

And before before you think, nah, I'll be fine, I'm gonna hold the line, um, it'll be your favorite client asking this. It'll be your favorite client. Um, it'll be someone who like is in a lot of pain, or it'll be something that you just feel like, oh, I really, I really could do, or really want to do like for that person. So it'll come, it'll come in sneaky ways. However, when you do draw that line in the sand and that metaphorically, and you hold it, um, then that creates so much magnetism for beautiful things and abundant and even more things to come your way. And now for today's top five takeaways for protecting your peace. So, number one, get crystal clear on your non-negotiable boundaries. Remember, you can use that body check to figure out what your boundaries are if you're being too loosey-goosey. Number two, identify the real reason you're saying yes when in actual fact you want to say no. Number three, stop making decisions from scarcity and from fear like little Andy did and start making them from aligned strategy. Be the lighthouse, be magnetic. Four, communicate boundary changes clearly and professionally. And you may even want to do a degree of separation by doing bulk mail outs and all of those things as well. Number five, remember that every exception comes at a cost to your time, your energy, and also your work. So, hopefully, that's been helpful for you today, and we look forward to seeing you next week.