The Bitch and The Wolf
The Bitch and The Wolf
Afters Afters
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Wolfie is up to his same old dribble bits , funny crazy and a little bit of reality too.
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We've had a couple of losses. We've had some friends pass, I've late.
SPEAKER_01I've had a couple this year.
SPEAKER_02Very sudden losses. Yeah, today I uh went to uh memorial. It was you know, it's a reminder that you know it's always in that cemetery looking at uh thousands and thousands of uh headstones. What do they call them when they burn you? The crematorium.
SPEAKER_01The rose garden.
SPEAKER_02That's how I want to go. I don't want don't fucking don't bury me. Burn me. Yep. Get me ashes. Either fucking bring 'em back home or give them to the show. She can put me up there next to me boy.
SPEAKER_00Next to your boy.
SPEAKER_02But don't bury me.
SPEAKER_00We'll work it out.
SPEAKER_02Now I'm gonna I'm obviously gonna make a little video clip to be played. She knows I cannot not add the last word to her. Yeah, I cannot. No. But I would be like, you know, don't fucking cry for me, you people. I don't even know. Half of you can't sit a fucking hair. And look around here for a minute. Who the fuck is that? I go that's me uh family over there, but who the fuck is that over there? Can someone ask that come up where he knows me from? Work. What work? Fair enough, fair enough. Sorry, Tom, what I didn't know we've been working mates for twenty years. And that's for you, baby bay. Look at you trying to fucking put yourself on the number one fucking rung on the ladder there fighting off all the other bitches. You love me the most. Well, I do love you, baby boy. There's no doubting that. None of them bitches didn't get any love from me at all. And uh in the sex had any love to it. It was a physical release, and that was it. They might have fallen in love with me 'cause I'm a nice guy, great dick, great body. And I I get that. I'd probably people go you love yourself. I don't think I love myself at all. I get it I get accused of that shit all the time.
SPEAKER_01I think you're comfortable with yourself.
SPEAKER_02I think I'm like Robin Williams, I told you that before. You'd probably find me hanging one day down there in a caritz, only because I fucking got on a box or confessed. I wouldn't be here from doing it on purpose. I fell asleep in the uh car down there. I was waiting for it to warm up and got fumed. Dead. No. That's got dying in your sleep.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Not gonna happen.
SPEAKER_02How do you hope you go out?
SPEAKER_01Me?
SPEAKER_02Honestly.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. Haven't really thought about that, but um whatever it is, I hope it's quick. Don't want it to be painful.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna be honest, just for the last month and a half, I've been waking up with fucking headaches every every morning and waking up at night.
SPEAKER_01Stupid as life.
SPEAKER_02The witches out. Should I go to a doctor? It's just a thing to me if you were to go to a an MD, a medical doctor. Hello, Dr. Shinjawani Shanwa, Indian doctor, can barely understand him. He he's telling you you've got some sort of terminal illness and you can't understand. So after another three to four months of fucking pain, you decide to find a white guy, and that's not pain racist, that's just who can understand what's going on. And I'm putting him for a CAT scan, and oh when we get the results from that, oh uh that you know, and you get a phone call all fucking three hours after CAT scan, and so you need to come back and send me a meal mate. Well what's wrong, Doc? Just come back and see me, please. Well, there must be something wrong, Doc. Just please.
SPEAKER_01We need to discuss the results.
SPEAKER_02Hey Doc. Hey, Wolfie, come in, mate. Um, pull up a seat. Is that your partner out there? Uh the little one. Cloud9? Yeah. You might want to ask her to come in too. Oh, fuck, Doc. This is the sound and tone of dread. Everybody, you better come in here. We run that cat scan, Wolfie, and the results are coming back and your head's filled with tumors. There's no point operating. Uh you have a tumour the size of a cricket ball, it's wrapped around a cerebral cord or whatever the fuck it is in your brain down through your spine. To operate on that would mean at best a vegetable. Oh, then Doc, how long have I got to give? To live, you know, over what, two years? For five years? What? Unfortunately, Wolfie, because you left it too late. I say three months tops. Look, I'm getting headaches. I mean, I'm taking medication, I'm feeling alright. Get your affairs in there in order. That's easy enough. Baby Boo, you know what to do. Sort that shit out real quick. Um, gee, I don't know. I don't know if I could uh bear to fall of deteriorating in a hospital. Down, baby boo. I'm just gonna go see an old friend of mine. You come in and go, you don't. Uh so this is what they call heroine. Heroine, the china white. Baby B, come sit with me for a little while. Look in my eyes like you have many times before. Listen to my voice and now you say the end. You know, we're all going to do it at some stage. There's no escaping unless you, you and your conscience, yourself, just lives forever. Everyone else dies, but you just keep going. No, no, that can happen. We're all dying.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think um your eggs will go away.
SPEAKER_02I feared death for for a long time. And when my beloved son part, I told myself I can't fear it because he's he's done it. I do sometimes still fear it. You know, I had an incident a couple of years ago, and um, you know, I woke up in I say you are the free day. The memory I had when that happened was like the universe, but it was so fucking big and so endless, like in impinity. It was uh there was no doubt what I was saying. And then I had a feeling of there's no time. I don't know how to even know how not to feel time. But it made me feel sick in my stomach, and that's what woke me up in ICU. Yeah, right. I went to pull that fucking thing out of my mouth, and the nose ran over and fucking took it out. I said now I know what it feels like to have a cock in your throat. And that's a true story. That's what I said when I come out because I was so fucked up from what I witnessed. It was only about eight seconds worth of what I say. But it fucked me up for a long time. We live here in the studio part-time here, part-time there. But you know yourself the studio has a a ghost.
SPEAKER_01Has a presence.
SPEAKER_02Of a parallel universe or some form of life after death. There's no denying that. I have the proof I've you've witnessed it.
SPEAKER_01Yep, yeah, truly.
SPEAKER_02Many others have. There's no denying that. But I think fearing death, the unknown, is the scary thing. But to me, you know, to tell yourself that what's the point of being afraid of it, being fearful of it, when you know you're going to face it. And I guess the biggest thing is that you don't want to leave your loved ones. You don't want to not see them again or have them not see you again. And that's what I think the fear is, unless there's like a big horned reditor man on the other side on the right.
SPEAKER_01Do you think there is?
SPEAKER_02Let me just whip out your foe, Wolfie.
SPEAKER_01Oh, it's a big one.
SPEAKER_02Well, can I uh what do we call you, Lucifer Satan? Yeah, holding this one. I I don't know, but look, you don't look like a man that's, you know, wants to lay any terms or anything put down, but surely I must have uh some sort of, you know, free speech out of you know what you class as sins is I class as you know, healing.
SPEAKER_01I think you've got a lot of credit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, look, yeah, I get I get that. But uh if you pull up me far off actually how many people I've hurt, okay, there's a few there, but let me go into bat again for myself. You know, a lot of these women were told not to have feelings for me, so then them sort of hurts really shouldn't belong to me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it wasn't intentional.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so you can mark them fucking fourteen, fifteen off the bat. Oh growing up, well, yeah no, look, I was the bullied one. Toughened me up, but I was the bullied one. I cannot say I hadn't been involved in some sort of, you know, one-off here and there, but that's only to fit in. If anything, that's the uh you guys that are making the whole fucking whatever it is we're meant to be part and and you know, all living such a graceful, fucking beautiful life and you know, not having decides or anything like that. We won't put 'em in our hands. You just put 'em there. Fair enough. You got two major ones that you can pull up. Yes, guilty. I will not deny that on both them counts.
SPEAKER_00But at least you admit that.
SPEAKER_02But look at my file, you can see the uh remorse, the guilt that I carried for many years. And if you go to my son's death, you must see there that I actually blame myself that maybe what I did back then caused the death of my son. So please know that it's sat with me. I know it's wrong, and uh I just I can't apologise to them people, unfortunately. I wouldn't know where or how. Who said that? Someone just popped in my head and said, We'll go to the police. Well, what happens if I don't? Oh, guilty. Well, I'm guilty there too. So which one would you want? Guilty here or guilty there? It's guilty over there, like a room full of naked women.
SPEAKER_01Well, no one's come back to tell us.
SPEAKER_02Well, haven't they? Haven't they? We've heard the the woman's ghost voice on the poet.
SPEAKER_01True.
SPEAKER_02And it's around the sexual nature of things. She wanted with you. Well, maybe just sex in general, because her punishment is you never get another dick. You never get nothing, you don't even get fingers. You don't even have spiritual hands to finger yours. Actually, you don't have a clit.
SPEAKER_01Nothing. No, he may as well be dead.
SPEAKER_02All you have is the vision to watch this guy here in the apartment. And that's your hell.
SPEAKER_01That's the torment.
SPEAKER_02Just once. Look at him. Look at him brown, dark eyes. Have a go at his cheeky grin and smile. Look at his fucking chest and his stomach, look at his cock. Look at the way he fucks. Yes, yes, pretty sh, Wolfie. So your torment over here, your your uh your sentencing divided up the hurt to the healings. You're free to roam. But it's infinity. That's right. And infinity means that everything is possible. Everything. There's your desire. Think wisely, Wolfie. I'm less did you go. And everywhere I go. People all apart and please. Pay for every day. Selling each for me. What is saying? Now come a day. When life will pass away, put it at all. What would I say about me? And the end comes on all down just a jiggle. Life goes on without me. I know jiggler. I give it for free. It should be free. I'm glad I wasn't born in the hippie era of free love and peace and ass and I wanna be in. We'll tell a lie. I'm in the uh I'm in the world of fucking date rape, GHP and fucking nasty shit that I just really struggle to comprehend. I'm waiting for my dick to be sucked in my sleep. I've told you this baby B, haven't I?
SPEAKER_01You have.
SPEAKER_02But you're struggling. First off, you're a pretty heavy sleeper.
SPEAKER_01I sleep, you don't. Second off, you need to sleep.
SPEAKER_02You sit up in the middle of the fucking night after a dream, fucking.
SPEAKER_01Listeners.
SPEAKER_02But I need to know that scares the fucking beeches out of me. You're always crying and fucking upset about something. I have to go. That's alright. Come here. Tap tap tap tap tap and then you're like, fucking hell, I might as well just get up. What time is it? Ten past twelve. Oh fuck.
SPEAKER_01You went to the gym the other week at three o'clock in the morning.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because I really couldn't sleep and I I really needed to get uh get a good leg day in.
SPEAKER_01But you used to always sleep.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't know what it is, and I'm getting headaches too, and uh I probably should go to a doctor, but I think I'm not going to.
SPEAKER_01Maybe wait and see if your new um spectacles help with that.
SPEAKER_02Maybe. I mean your vision has gone pretty bad.
SPEAKER_01Um I think they will, because you're driving all day and they get strained.
SPEAKER_02Look, I can see you perfectly now, so there's no worries that I'm gonna put them on and go, holy fucking jack. I thought you said you were having a year and a half. How old did you say? You got a fucking burst of ticket. Go to Spec Savers. I got I've got some pretty cool glasses.
SPEAKER_01They should be here this week.
SPEAKER_02They should be. I'm looking forward to it. When you start losing your eyesight, especially for someone like me. And I shouldn't say this in front of you.
SPEAKER_01But you know I know because I see everything.
SPEAKER_02And when your eye fission fucking starts fading a bit in the distance, you can't quite can't make it out. So sometimes you can't spot the dangers that are, you know, a couple hundred motors up the road, or spot the uh chick that just dropped a fucking bag of apples and she's picking them up with fucking no pennies with sure to go. Yeah, that fucking loud motorbike.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think um you'll find a big difference, especially with driving all day.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, look, driving's not too bad. And she said that I don't actually need glasses for driving, which is funny because my licence states that I do. But I won't wear 'em because look, I think it changes my look. Now if I start going out and fucking jumping out of trucks for frowning head and glasses, it's going, look at this cunt, he must have just fucking read the book on quantum theories and he's fucking struggling with the fourth chapter. Instead of going fucking You got the Sonnies. There you go, fellas. Yeah, no, no, that's not what I was told.
SPEAKER_01When do you go into that big fancy work site you've been spending countless hours at? I think um let's call him Will.
SPEAKER_02You won't put shit on me.
SPEAKER_01No, I don't think anyone will.
SPEAKER_02I look like sunglasses. That guy is a uh he was like uh in the top ten of fucking strong men in Australia. And he he went to the gym early in the morning, about two o'clock one morning and left it heavy and fucked himself up and had to stop. But he's still fucking to this day. He showed me a couple of clips of him in the gym. Like he was benching fucking um with his legs up and crossed and had a riser legs, which is fucking hard, there's no like power from your feet or nothing. He was left in my easy 160 to 180 kilos and just pushing out big big reps. I'm like, what the fuck? It's like how many can you do? That depends on who's around.
SPEAKER_01How long since he's um done that?
SPEAKER_02Uh I don't know. Uh uh a little while. He's been injured, but he's still gyms every day.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so he's still fit.
SPEAKER_02No, he don't look fit. It's your typical uh well not your typ a lot of Kiwi dudes are fucking like they look built and he's big. He just looks sort of half fat, but you know that he's fucking full of strength.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he's strong ass.
SPEAKER_02I pretended I got the truck down to the axle there, mate, and he just gave us a bit of a push in the back, which he went to do, and I just drove off. He thought he pushed me. And I still got bro. It's a fucking hope bro.
SPEAKER_01He sounds like a real character.
SPEAKER_02He is. He's fucking he makes some big coin that lad. He's only about 37. He makes some very good coin. Indeed, he flies in and out, lives in Melbourne, flies nothing but business class.
SPEAKER_01Business class.
SPEAKER_02And he he really does fuck all at work.
SPEAKER_01But he does. That's see, those people make it look easy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like he says, without my head doesn't fucking run. That's right. I say, well, buddy, you leave uh fucking every Friday at fucking eleven o'clock and you don't come back until Monday at fucking ten o'clock, eh? I said you do like a f a a free three and a half day week, and you reckon without you the place don't run. He goes, Yeah, but when I'm here, I don't care. I said, Well, that's not real.
SPEAKER_01That's not the attitude.
SPEAKER_02He says, It's not. But he said, I can't be taken accountable for the work that's been done by people that are in charge when I go. Now he's got five houses.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, good idea. Married a lawyer. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I said, I've been there done that. You want to think about real hard about checking out some of your own law books. You don't want to think that love lasts forever, especially around mid-40s or most fifties. When the love's dead, when the love is dead. There's no sex and or no nothing. You know, the women are just yearning to have some kind of bend them over somewhere and fucking start eating their pussies. And the blokes are just like we some fucking slut, but just but it's not with each other. But I love you dearly. I wouldn't want nothing bad to happen to you. Yeah, I know we only fuck on our birthdays and our wedding anniversary. Did you come? Did you come? No. Why would I come? You blew the load in two minutes. Here's the tip for men in relationships, I know. If you want to um spice things up, you know, I know what men are thinking. If only we could get another chick. If only she could go for having another chick, I'm reckon I'd give her a fucking that she hasn't had for 30 years. If she's got some young bitch fucking eating a potty. Oh if only she would go for that. And then I just go, I wonder if he would let me cockold him which is getting a younger bloke into fuck her in front of. So, get your cards, you people in them long range fucking relationships. Do it. Get past the small hurt, and you'll see how much that strengthens your relationship. If not, ends it. But you know, the fear of couples that are too scared to break up and not, you know, stop loving each other. There's a love of I don't want nothing bad to you. The fuck I can't stand you. I know you that much. I'm fucking sick of you. You know, it's only fear that stops a lot of people's properties and fold and oh I don't want to start again or nothing like that. If you want some wellness to your life, you really should.
SPEAKER_01You really should.
SPEAKER_02If not, so you shall go for uh let's get in the work and go and just have some fun. You can eat your pussy, you know, you never had a lesbian experience. I know you don't want to know what a vagina tastes like. Maybe you could just watch me fuck her. And in return, I'll watch you getting smashed by a boo boo soo, be a black hawk. It's funny when you actually look at the real cockhole. You can say people somewhat break.