WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.760 We're gonna be in Mark chapter 10 this morning. 00:00:01.919 --> 00:00:03.680 If you need a Bible, please raise your hand. 00:00:03.839 --> 00:00:05.120 We would love to bring one to you. 00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:10.000 And we actually have some the ones that we've been handing out, they're called large print, but they're tiny. 00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:12.240 So we got some giant print ones as well. 00:00:12.640 --> 00:00:13.839 You need a bigger Bible. 00:00:13.919 --> 00:00:17.280 Uh but raise your hand and they would love to bring you one. 00:00:17.760 --> 00:00:19.280 We don't know where the Bibles are? 00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:19.760 Okay. 00:00:20.079 --> 00:00:22.000 We're gonna try and find the Bibles. 00:00:22.719 --> 00:00:26.079 We just moved in, so the things are kind of a little all over the place. 00:00:26.160 --> 00:00:29.760 And we'll try and get one to you as soon as uh we find out where they are. 00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:32.399 But we're gonna be reading out of the CSV translation. 00:00:32.560 --> 00:00:35.119 And like I said, we're starting in Mark chapter 10. 00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:47.280 While you're turning there, um, I've had this section of Mark outlined in advance for a really long time, uh, way before we knew that we were gonna be meeting here and that this was gonna be our first Sunday here. 00:00:47.439 --> 00:00:53.759 And so once we realized, okay, this is gonna be our first Sunday here, started looking ahead, like, oh, what's that verse gonna be? 00:00:53.920 --> 00:00:59.759 You know, that real that celebration Sunday, that real exciting first time in, of course, it's divorce. 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:04.239 So we're gonna be talking about divorce here this morning. 00:01:04.400 --> 00:01:16.879 Um and uh but the the thing is we're gonna approach it in a way that we're gonna be focusing not just on divorce, but what a good marriage looks like when it's the way that God intended it to be. 00:01:17.120 --> 00:01:26.799 And also how God has given us marriage so that we can relate to our relationship with Him and with Jesus and how the gospel is tied up in all of that. 00:01:26.879 --> 00:01:29.760 We found Bibles, so if you need a Bible, raise your hand. 00:01:30.239 --> 00:01:31.200 Perfect. 00:01:31.519 --> 00:01:34.400 But let's all stand for the reading of God's word. 00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:40.879 We're gonna go Mark chapter 10, starting in verse 1, and we're gonna read through verse 12. 00:01:41.120 --> 00:01:46.480 It says, He set out from there and went to the region of Judea and across the Jordan. 00:01:46.879 --> 00:01:52.079 Then crowds converged on him again, and as was his custom, he taught them again. 00:01:52.319 --> 00:01:57.920 Some Pharisees came to test him, asking, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? 00:01:58.159 --> 00:02:01.359 He replied to them, What did Moses command you? 00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:06.159 They said, Moses permitted us to write divorce papers and send her away. 00:02:06.319 --> 00:02:12.000 But Jesus told them, He wrote this command for you because of the hardness of your hearts. 00:02:12.319 --> 00:02:17.199 But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. 00:02:17.439 --> 00:02:22.800 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother, and the two will become one flesh. 00:02:22.960 --> 00:02:26.000 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:30.800 Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. 00:02:31.039 --> 00:02:35.120 When they were in the house again, the disciples questioned him about this matter. 00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:41.520 He said to them, Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 00:02:41.680 --> 00:02:46.719 Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. 00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:48.159 Let's pray together. 00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:50.800 Lord, once again, we thank you for your word. 00:02:51.199 --> 00:02:56.240 We thank you for the richness of it, for the instruction that you give us for our daily lives. 00:02:56.400 --> 00:03:06.960 And Lord, I pray as we kind of unpack these verses that you would give us deep insight into what you have for each one of us in these verses here this morning. 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:16.639 We pray that you would speak to us, and Lord, that you would find soft hearts and soft minds and eyes to see and ears to hear everything that you have for us. 00:03:16.879 --> 00:03:19.599 Would you speak to us now through your Holy Spirit? 00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:22.240 Would you use me as your mouthpiece, Lord? 00:03:22.319 --> 00:03:25.280 And would you help me to rightly divide your word here this morning? 00:03:25.520 --> 00:03:27.599 We pray these things in Jesus' name. 00:03:27.919 --> 00:03:28.400 Amen. 00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:30.080 You may be seated. 00:03:31.039 --> 00:03:37.599 So, divorce, as we see here, it was a hotly debated topic in the time of Jesus. 00:03:37.919 --> 00:03:44.560 And you probably noticed it's a hotly debated topic today as well in Christian circles. 00:03:44.800 --> 00:03:52.560 And when you read all the scriptures concerning divorce, it seems pretty clear, you know, what God's intent is. 00:03:52.719 --> 00:03:54.000 It seems pretty clear-cut. 00:03:54.400 --> 00:04:01.840 And then as you hear different scenarios that people have gone through or they're going through, it starts to become a little bit more complicated. 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:08.080 And then you start getting into the semantics of, you know, what does that word really mean? 00:04:08.319 --> 00:04:11.439 And it really starts to get complicated really quick. 00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:20.240 And pastors that I know and love really have big differences in how they view the interpretation of some of these verses and some of these words. 00:04:20.399 --> 00:04:23.680 You know, things like abandonment and what does that really mean? 00:04:23.759 --> 00:04:28.000 And is that a physical abandonment or is that an emotional abandonment? 00:04:28.079 --> 00:04:31.759 You know, or abuse, you know, whether that's physical or emotional. 00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:34.160 Like, where's that line that we draw? 00:04:34.399 --> 00:04:41.199 And then some say, you know, well, if you were divorced before you were following Jesus, then you're a new creation. 00:04:41.439 --> 00:04:43.439 So all that's in the past, don't worry about it. 00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:45.279 Now just do whatever you want to. 00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:54.480 And then we face questions like, you know, if a woman gets divorced for unbiblical reasons, and then her husband remarries, technically he's committing adultery. 00:04:54.639 --> 00:04:58.319 So does that legitimize the divorce, and now she's free to remarry? 00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:01.279 See how complicated, you know, this can get? 00:05:01.600 --> 00:05:10.720 And where it says, you know, for a pastor or an elder that he needs to be a man of one wife, you know, is that addressing polygamy or is that addressing divorce? 00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:16.160 You know, and it goes on and on and on with all of those questions, and it can get real gray real quick. 00:05:16.399 --> 00:05:25.120 But here's what Jesus did in this passage: He didn't place semantics, he didn't debate with the Pharisees, he looks at the heart. 00:05:25.439 --> 00:05:29.040 And then he focuses on what a good marriage looks like. 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:32.079 So that's exactly what we're gonna do today as well. 00:05:32.319 --> 00:05:39.759 Now, I realize that statistics tell us that about 40% of the adults in this room have gone through a divorce. 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:42.800 Whether Christian or non-Christian, it's about 40%. 00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:48.959 And chances are that some of you went through a divorce without biblical grounds to do so. 00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:58.240 So if that's you, I want to remind you that a non-biblical divorce is sin, but it's not an unpardonable sin. 00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:04.879 If you're a follower of Christ, God has forgiven you just like he has with all of your other sins. 00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:11.360 The message is not to place doubt in your mind or condemn you this morning over your past sins. 00:06:11.519 --> 00:06:17.920 It's to look at how the Lord sees divorce and then to look at what good marriages look like. 00:06:18.079 --> 00:06:21.600 So instead, I want us to leave here today with this. 00:06:22.959 --> 00:06:25.439 First, that God hates divorce. 00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:30.240 Second, that divorce is the result of the hardness of our hearts. 00:06:30.959 --> 00:06:41.439 Third, that God has a design for marriage, and fourth, that marriage is a symbol of our relationship with Him. 00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:48.560 So we're gonna pick up right there in verse 1 of Mark chapter 10, and this really sets the scene as we dive in this morning. 00:06:48.800 --> 00:06:50.959 It says that he set out from there. 00:06:51.439 --> 00:06:57.360 There is Capernaum, and he went to the region of Judea and across the Jordan. 00:06:57.600 --> 00:06:59.199 Can we get that map up there, Hannah? 00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:03.759 So it's probably hard to read from the back. 00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:08.639 But if you see, this is Galilee up here, Samaria's here, Judea's down here. 00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:14.480 So Galilee, this is where Jesus was raised, where a big portion of his ministry took place. 00:07:14.720 --> 00:07:22.639 And it's saying that they came down along the Jordan all the way into Judea, and then they crossed right here just above the Dead Sea. 00:07:22.800 --> 00:07:23.759 So that's where he's going. 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:29.759 But the thing that we need to notice that that's interesting is that this is Jesus' home. 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:32.000 And this is the last time he's gonna be there. 00:07:32.480 --> 00:07:36.720 This is him leaving and saying goodbye to that region of Galilee. 00:07:36.959 --> 00:07:40.480 That's the last time he's gonna be there before his crucifixion. 00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:42.959 Look at the second half of verse 1. 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:49.120 It says, Then crowds converged on him again, and as was his custom, he taught them again. 00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:56.480 Some Pharisees came to test him, asking, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? 00:07:56.720 --> 00:08:03.519 So once again, we see the religious leaders, and they're coming, as it says right here, to test Jesus. 00:08:03.839 --> 00:08:10.079 And if anyone knows the answer to the question that the Pharisees are asking, it should be the Pharisees. 00:08:10.240 --> 00:08:14.319 They're the ones that spent so much of their time studying the law. 00:08:14.560 --> 00:08:19.199 And what they're doing is they're trying to get Jesus to pick a side. 00:08:19.439 --> 00:08:23.120 And this is all in regards to Deuteronomy chapter 24. 00:08:23.199 --> 00:08:24.720 And I'll read you that passage. 00:08:24.879 --> 00:08:40.159 It says, if a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeased, displeasing to him because he finds something indecent in her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house. 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:44.960 And the big debate at the time is what does the word indecent mean? 00:08:45.039 --> 00:08:49.039 If the husband finds something indecent in his wife, what exactly does that mean? 00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:52.799 Kind of going back to that whole semantics thing that we were talking about. 00:08:53.039 --> 00:09:02.720 Well, at the time, conservative theologians viewed indecent as sexually promiscuous before or after they got married. 00:09:02.799 --> 00:09:05.039 And that's how they interpreted indecent. 00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:12.159 The liberal theologians viewed it as pretty much anything a woman does that was displeasing to her husband. 00:09:12.320 --> 00:09:14.639 And that was up to the husband to decide. 00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:28.720 There's historical cases where there's a uh a theologian that wrote that if a man found a woman more beautiful than his wife, he had grounds to divorce her for that reason, and then he could go ahead and do that. 00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:32.480 That was the most liberal, you know, interpretations of this. 00:09:32.639 --> 00:09:34.240 And then there's everything in between. 00:09:34.399 --> 00:09:39.039 So basically, what they're doing is trying to get Jesus in this debate to pick a side. 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:44.960 Are you gonna go with the conservative interpretation, or are you gonna go with a more liberal interpretation? 00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:46.399 And where do you stand? 00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:52.080 So they're trying to corner him, get him to say something that they can bring accusations against him for. 00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:58.240 But as we always see, Jesus is extremely shrewd in his dealings with these guys. 00:09:58.480 --> 00:09:59.519 Look at verse 3. 00:09:59.679 --> 00:10:03.039 He replied to them, What did Moses command you? 00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:09.120 And here's Jesus, God, and he's doing what he always does. 00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:15.919 He's patiently addressing the questions, fully aware of what these guys are trying to do. 00:10:16.159 --> 00:10:18.720 And he's pointing people back to scripture. 00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:22.799 And he's letting God's word do the work for him. 00:10:23.200 --> 00:10:26.639 You know, think of when he was being tempted in the wilderness. 00:10:26.879 --> 00:10:30.639 Each response that he had to Satan was scripture. 00:10:30.960 --> 00:10:40.480 When the Pharisees and scribes questioned Jesus about his disciples' hand washing practices, Jesus quoted to them Isaiah 29, 13. 00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:48.879 And when the Pharisees questioned him regarding the Sabbath, he pointed them back to King David eating the showbread from the tabernacle. 00:10:49.120 --> 00:10:52.879 And right here today, we're seeing the same thing, but there's a little bit of a twist. 00:10:53.120 --> 00:10:58.639 Instead of quoting the scripture back to these guys, he has them quote the scripture back to him. 00:10:58.799 --> 00:11:00.080 Look at verse 4. 00:11:00.320 --> 00:11:07.120 They said, so this is the Pharisees, Moses permitted us to write divorce papers and send her away. 00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:13.600 This is that reference that I just read to you from Deuteronomy 24. 00:11:13.679 --> 00:11:14.960 They're referring back to that. 00:11:15.200 --> 00:11:21.840 So they prove right there that they already know the verse and they already know what Moses said. 00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:33.039 And by making Jesus take a hard line one way or the other, they're trying to, like I said, back him into a corner, get them in a spot where they can bring an accusation against them. 00:11:33.279 --> 00:11:41.759 The problem is this the Pharisees were asking Jesus, how far can we stray from the will of God without sinning? 00:11:42.879 --> 00:11:49.440 And isn't that really the question of the liberal interpretation of Deuteronomy 24? 00:11:49.600 --> 00:11:54.720 And it's just like people that say, you know, how close can I get to the edge? 00:11:54.879 --> 00:11:58.639 How close can I get to sin without falling off of the cliff? 00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:04.080 And I really think for all of us, we all have that tendency, you know, one way or the other. 00:12:04.399 --> 00:12:07.840 How far can I take this before it comes sin? 00:12:08.240 --> 00:12:12.480 How many drinks can I have before technically I'm drunk? 00:12:12.720 --> 00:12:19.919 And I can't even tell you how many young men have asked me, so how far can I go physically with my girlfriend before it's sin? 00:12:20.799 --> 00:12:23.120 And I tell them that they're asking the wrong question. 00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:29.039 It should be, how pure can we stay with my girlfriend when we're hanging out? 00:12:29.279 --> 00:12:31.840 That should be the question that we're asking. 00:12:31.919 --> 00:12:35.440 But unfortunately, no young man has ever asked me that before. 00:12:37.279 --> 00:12:40.720 So the Pharisees are asking, is it lawful? 00:12:40.960 --> 00:12:44.639 How liberal can we be in our theology? 00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:46.879 What are our rights? 00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:50.240 Do you see the problem with the question that they're asking? 00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:53.600 It's not what is God's will for my life? 00:12:53.840 --> 00:12:56.639 It's how far can I take things before I'm sinning? 00:12:56.799 --> 00:13:01.440 Those are two huge contrasting polar opposites of questions. 00:13:02.799 --> 00:13:03.919 So look at verse 5. 00:13:04.080 --> 00:13:11.120 It says, But Jesus told them, He wrote this command for you because of the hardness of your heart. 00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:17.440 Jesus is saying here, just because it is lawful, it doesn't mean that it's the best thing for you. 00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:27.200 God states in Malachi that he hates divorce, but he made an exception because of the hardness of the hearts of the Israelites at the time. 00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:30.960 You see, divorce isn't the real issue being talked about. 00:13:31.200 --> 00:13:35.200 Divorce is the result of the real issue that's being talked about. 00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:38.399 This is all about a heart issue. 00:13:38.639 --> 00:13:42.639 Everything we're going to talk about today, it's all about a heart issue. 00:13:42.879 --> 00:13:52.720 And what we see in Scripture is that if one of the spouses is cheating or abandoning, then God will allow you legally out of your marriage. 00:13:53.759 --> 00:14:04.720 But if both parties in the marriage are fully surrendered to the Lord and their hearts are softened to the things of the Lord, divorce would not be needed. 00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:06.399 I'm gonna say that again. 00:14:06.639 --> 00:14:13.600 If our hearts are softened to the Lord, if two people have fully surrendered hearts, divorce would not be needed. 00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:22.080 But because this wasn't the case, God in his mercy said, if you're being mistreated in this way, then here's a way out for you. 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:25.840 And that really is God's mercy on somebody that's in a terrible situation. 00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:29.519 You know, I had a discussion a long time ago with a pastor about the age-old question. 00:14:29.679 --> 00:14:34.960 You know, does God have one person for each one of us? 00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:39.519 Or is there just a whole pool and we get to choose and try to, you know, to make it work out? 00:14:39.679 --> 00:14:42.720 And you hear that a lot with people that are considering engagement. 00:14:42.799 --> 00:14:45.759 You know, what if I get married and I find out that they're not the one? 00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:48.240 They're not my soulmate, you know. 00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:56.320 Well, this pastor told me something that took a while for me to digest, but now I'm in full agreement with him. 00:14:56.480 --> 00:15:08.799 He said that he believed that any man and any woman that were fully surrendered to the Lord could not only make a marriage work, but could make it thrive. 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:10.960 Think about that for a second. 00:15:11.279 --> 00:15:13.440 Any man and any woman, that's what he told me. 00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:16.799 And it took a long time for me to kind of wrap my head around that. 00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:23.039 But I think I've I agree with him absolutely and fully just from the things that I've seen. 00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:28.720 You know, I've seen it where there's one party that's fully surrendered to the Lord and the other isn't. 00:15:28.960 --> 00:15:42.480 I've seen it where both aren't surrendered to the Lord and they're having these marital conflicts, but I've never seen where both parties are completely surrendered to the Lord and they're still looking for a way out of their marriage vows. 00:15:42.799 --> 00:15:45.840 I've just never seen one example of that in my whole life. 00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:53.200 Now, on the contrary, one of the best witnesses of Jesus Christ is a marriage that's thriving in him. 00:15:54.559 --> 00:16:05.120 You know, if you want to stand out, if you want to be a light to the world, show them a marriage like God intended it, and they will be absolutely blown away. 00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:14.240 If you want to floor a coworker, speak highly and honorably about your spouse in front of them. 00:16:14.559 --> 00:16:21.679 You know, outside of the church, how many marriages have you witnessed where the couple speaks highly of the other when the other isn't there? 00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:26.799 I know there's some, but I it's very uncommon to actually find that. 00:16:27.120 --> 00:16:31.759 And if you do this, your coworkers will look at you and think, you must be newlyweds. 00:16:32.080 --> 00:16:40.960 Like that's just like it's not how marriage works after 10, 20, 30 years, where you still love the person and respect the person and speak highly of them when they're not around. 00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:43.200 But it's a great witness. 00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:47.519 And what can happen is they'll say, you know, what's your secret? 00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:49.679 And then right there you can just say, Jesus. 00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:51.759 Jesus is the center of our marriage. 00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:53.279 We love and worship God. 00:16:53.360 --> 00:16:55.360 We try to become more like Him every day. 00:16:55.519 --> 00:16:58.720 That is the secret to our good marriage. 00:16:59.279 --> 00:17:07.759 And that's a great segue and opportunity to share Christ with people where they're actually asking you for the gospel, and then you can give it to them. 00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:14.319 Now, Jesus is going to transition from divorce to what God intended marriage to be. 00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:16.240 So look at verse six as he does that. 00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:21.839 It says, But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. 00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:26.640 Now, there's nothing controversial about that verse, so we're just gonna move on to verse 7, okay? 00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:36.960 This verse 6 is step one in God's design for marriage. 00:17:37.359 --> 00:17:39.920 One man and one woman. 00:17:40.240 --> 00:17:51.440 Verse six is in reference to Genesis chapter 5, verses 1 and 2, where God made it clear from the beginning that he made them male and female and he made them in his image. 00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:58.559 You see, God doesn't just promote marriage, he created it, he ordained it from the beginning. 00:17:58.799 --> 00:18:03.279 So who better to give us direction on something than its creator? 00:18:04.400 --> 00:18:13.519 You know, if I'm having engine problems in my truck, would it be more wise for me to go to my neighbor who watches YouTube videos on how to become a mechanic? 00:18:13.759 --> 00:18:28.079 Or go to the person that actually created and designed the engine from the ground up, who not only knows how it works, but he knows every part and every screw and every sensor in the whole thing. 00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:32.400 Wisdom says go to the creator, go to the designer, right? 00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:42.319 God created marriage to be between one man and one woman, and he has a design and he has a purpose behind that. 00:18:42.640 --> 00:18:50.160 And to say that we know better than God's design for marriage is strictly pride, no pun intended. 00:18:50.640 --> 00:18:53.839 But it's appropriately named, I think. 00:18:54.319 --> 00:18:56.000 But I want you to imagine this. 00:18:56.240 --> 00:19:07.599 I want you to imagine that you created and designed a high performance gasoline engine for a sports car from the ground up, each one of you individually. 00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:11.039 Even if you don't know anything about engines right now, that's okay. 00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:19.920 For the sake of this analogy, just pretend that you designed this amazing gasoline engine from the ground up for a sports car. 00:19:20.240 --> 00:19:25.440 And I own one of the sports cars that you have have created. 00:19:27.359 --> 00:19:36.160 I come to you, you're the creator and the designer, and I'm convinced that this engine will run better if we put diesel in it. 00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:39.440 And you, the creator, say, no, no, no, no, no, no. 00:19:39.599 --> 00:19:41.440 It was created for gas. 00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:44.079 Diesel will ruin the engine. 00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:52.880 And you look at me and you say, no, it was designed to function in its highest capacity on gasoline. 00:19:53.119 --> 00:19:56.319 And I look at you and I say, I watched a YouTube video. 00:19:57.839 --> 00:20:09.039 And this self-proclaimed expert said diesel is not only okay, but that the people recommending gas are trying to keep me from experiencing the glories of diesel. 00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:15.759 And you look at me and say, I don't care who you saw on YouTube. 00:20:16.960 --> 00:20:28.079 Diesel will clog the fuel injectors, it'll clog the fuel filter, the whole engine will stop working in just a short amount of time, and I still refuse to listen to you. 00:20:28.480 --> 00:20:34.559 That's how ridiculous we look to God when we try to tell him what marriage should look like. 00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:38.000 God has a design and a plan. 00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:47.440 And if we want our marriages to function at its highest capacity, we need to listen to the creator and the designer of marriage in the first place. 00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:51.519 Because marriage is not just some earthly thing that begins and ends here. 00:20:51.759 --> 00:20:56.559 Marriage is a foreshadowing of the union that we are going to have with Jesus Christ. 00:20:56.720 --> 00:20:57.599 That's already started. 00:20:57.680 --> 00:21:02.559 We're in the engagement period now, but it's a foreshadowing of that relationship with Jesus. 00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:06.000 You know, Scripture tells us that Jesus is the groom. 00:21:06.240 --> 00:21:10.079 And we as the church are the bride of Christ. 00:21:10.720 --> 00:21:15.839 So if you're single and you don't think this message is for you, it is. 00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:29.440 Jesus is the perfect husband that shows the perfect sacrificial laying down of his own life for his bride, which is all followers of Christ. 00:21:29.519 --> 00:21:32.480 It's the church, the bride of Jesus Christ. 00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:40.880 And the love that Jesus gives us is the same love that we're called to as well in our own marriage relationships. 00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:45.440 The giving of ourselves 100% to the other. 00:21:45.680 --> 00:21:55.839 Just like we see in Ephesians 5 25, where it says, Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. 00:21:56.960 --> 00:21:59.759 We're called in our relationship with Christ. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:06.160 In our marriage relationships, to give ourselves 100% to the other person. 00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:16.480 I've done my fair share of weddings and premarital counseling, and there's one piece of marital advice that has crept into our culture that absolutely drives me nuts. 00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:23.519 Seems like it's every time, you know, how at the weddings how they they do the dances, and if you've been married for more than 20 years, everybody else sit down. 00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:30.319 You know, and they go until you find the one couple that has the most years of marriage under their belt. 00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:34.880 And so often I was like, what's you know, what's your one piece of advice for the bride and the groom today? 00:22:35.039 --> 00:22:38.079 You know, they're like, oh, marriage is 50-50. 00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:39.839 You know, and you just hear that all the time. 00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:41.200 Marriage is 50-50. 00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:47.359 And I've heard at so many weddings, all that advice, you know, coming into people saying, oh, it's 50-50, that's the secret. 00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:48.640 No, it's not. 00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:56.640 God's design is 100% and 100% giving of each other to each other. 00:22:57.119 --> 00:23:02.400 You see, Jesus gave us everything to call us his bride. 00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:05.200 And do you know what he desires from us? 00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:07.039 Everything. 00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:11.440 A full submission and a full surrender to him. 00:23:11.920 --> 00:23:18.240 You know, last week we talked about gaining by losing, about what it looks like to be a living sacrifice. 00:23:18.559 --> 00:23:22.480 Because Jesus desires 100% of us. 00:23:24.319 --> 00:23:26.880 And that's what being a living sacrifice means. 00:23:27.039 --> 00:23:30.799 That we're everything that we do is for Jesus. 00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:33.359 And this is the reason for verse 7. 00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:34.480 So let's look at verse 7. 00:23:34.559 --> 00:23:39.759 It says, for this reason a man will leave his father and mother. 00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:44.640 So this is step number two to God's design for marriage. 00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:56.960 And this is so important because when you get married, you can't hold on to your past life, your past relationships, your past commitments, your past allegiances. 00:23:57.680 --> 00:24:01.599 It doesn't mean that you ignore the command to honor your father and mother. 00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:02.480 That doesn't go away. 00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:05.920 It doesn't mean that you have to ditch all of your old friends and your old commitments. 00:24:06.079 --> 00:24:08.559 But your allegiance is no longer to those things. 00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:13.119 Your allegiance is no longer to your parents, but to your spouse. 00:24:13.599 --> 00:24:20.799 You know, in terms of our relationship with Jesus, this means that we leave our past allegiances as well. 00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:27.440 So whatever that may have been, we leave those and we cling to Him. 00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:34.799 All of our idols, all of our past sin, we leave those things behind and we now cling to Jesus. 00:24:36.240 --> 00:24:37.759 Look at verse 8. 00:24:38.720 --> 00:24:42.079 Says, and the two will become. 00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:47.119 Circle that, highlight it, underline it, whatever you have to do, that word become right now. 00:24:47.279 --> 00:24:50.400 And the two will become one flesh. 00:24:50.640 --> 00:24:53.759 So they are no longer two but one flesh. 00:24:53.920 --> 00:24:57.680 So this is step number three in God's design for marriage. 00:24:57.920 --> 00:25:00.720 To become one flesh. 00:25:01.039 --> 00:25:06.079 You know, I pointed out the word become because this is a lifelong process. 00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:10.960 It's not like you say, I do, and then bam, you're one. 00:25:11.279 --> 00:25:13.279 That's the first step to becoming one. 00:25:13.440 --> 00:25:20.160 But becoming one is a lifelong process of becoming more and more like each other. 00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:33.680 As you make decisions together, as you go through hard times, as you go through good times, the ups and downs of work, of raising children, of home life, as you laugh together, as you enjoy one another. 00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:38.079 That is part of that process of becoming one with your spouse. 00:25:38.319 --> 00:25:44.319 Where you know exactly how the other will respond before they even have a chance to respond. 00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:51.200 Where you know how they will approach a certain situation before they even approach it, because you know them so well. 00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:58.400 Now, a big part of becoming one is knowing and being known. 00:25:59.759 --> 00:26:07.680 And that takes a lifetime to be known, and it takes a lifetime to fully know somebody else. 00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:14.160 And the goal should be to get to where people can't think of one of you without thinking of the other. 00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:16.880 You're one, you're a couple. 00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:20.880 Like you in people's minds you don't even exist apart from each other. 00:26:21.119 --> 00:26:26.319 And all of this also applies to our relationship with Jesus in the same way. 00:26:26.640 --> 00:26:29.200 The only difference is that Jesus is perfect. 00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:31.920 So we don't want him to become more like us. 00:26:33.680 --> 00:26:35.599 We need to become more like him. 00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:46.240 And just like the process of becoming one with our spouse is a process that takes a lifetime, it's just like the process of sanctification in our life. 00:26:46.559 --> 00:26:51.519 That process of becoming more and more like Jesus, becoming more and more holy on a daily basis. 00:26:51.759 --> 00:26:56.400 And that also is going to take a lifetime for us to accomplish. 00:26:56.559 --> 00:26:59.599 And even still, I don't think we're going to fully accomplish it before we die. 00:26:59.759 --> 00:27:02.160 But it's that process of sanctification. 00:27:02.319 --> 00:27:07.359 And sanctification at its core means becoming more like Jesus. 00:27:08.079 --> 00:27:13.519 We're to become one with Christ as we become more and more like him. 00:27:14.319 --> 00:27:15.440 See how that works? 00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:19.519 See the correlation of becoming one with your spouse and becoming one with Jesus. 00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:35.920 And as we become one with Jesus, just like in marriage, we start to know how he thinks, how he would respond in different situations, what his heart is towards all things pertaining to life and godliness. 00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:45.920 And just like in marriage, the goal should be that when people think of us, they can't think of us without thinking of Jesus. 00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:51.359 Jesus mentioned this in John 17, verses 20 to 21. 00:27:51.519 --> 00:27:58.720 He says, I am praying not only for these disciples, but also for all who will ever believe in me, their message. 00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:09.039 I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one, as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. 00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:14.160 And may they be in us, so that the world will believe you sent me. 00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:18.240 This is such a huge part of why God gave us marriage. 00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:25.200 It's an amazing picture of the gospel lived out on earth right in front of people. 00:28:26.960 --> 00:28:34.799 And now, after Jesus talks about God's design for marriage, now he's going to finally respond to the religious leaders. 00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:35.920 Look at verse 9. 00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:41.279 He says, Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. 00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:45.440 Malachi gives us the heart of God in regards to divorce. 00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:52.960 Specifically in chapter 2, verse 16, saying, Do not act treacherously with the wife of your youth. 00:28:53.200 --> 00:28:55.920 He says that divorce is violent. 00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:57.039 It's wrong. 00:28:57.279 --> 00:28:58.640 That it's cruel. 00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:05.039 And think of it this way: you know, my body is just one giant hunk of flesh, right? 00:29:05.599 --> 00:29:07.599 It's all locked together. 00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:08.960 It's all one. 00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:16.000 What would it take to separate the right side from the left side of my body? 00:29:18.559 --> 00:29:20.400 It would take violence. 00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:22.480 It would take tear. 00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:25.200 It would take excruciating pain. 00:29:25.440 --> 00:29:29.920 You know, it's a picture of what the spouses will go through. 00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:36.079 And not just the spouses, but the kids and the extended family. 00:29:36.319 --> 00:29:38.240 And again, this is not condemnation. 00:29:38.480 --> 00:29:41.920 This is just God's heart for divorce and why he hates it so much. 00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:48.400 God has given us this beautiful picture in marriage of our relationship with him and with Jesus. 00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:56.160 And to God, divorce is symbolic of someone breaking that union with him and walking away. 00:29:57.119 --> 00:30:00.160 In reality, it's symbolic of idolatry. 00:30:00.640 --> 00:30:03.440 Choosing something other than God. 00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:06.400 He desires, get this. 00:30:06.720 --> 00:30:10.640 He desires eternal oneness with us. 00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:17.839 And divorce is symbolic of eternal separation from God, which is hell. 00:30:18.799 --> 00:30:21.680 So no wonder God hates divorce. 00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:35.039 Not only for the hurt and the pain that it causes on earth and everybody that might be going through it, but also what it does to the symbolism of the gospel that is so tied into our relationship with Him. 00:30:35.200 --> 00:30:39.599 It's the tearing apart of the oneness that he desires. 00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:41.839 Look at verse 10 with me. 00:30:42.880 --> 00:30:48.240 It says, When they were in the house again, the disciples questioned him about this matter. 00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:54.559 He said to them, Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 00:30:54.799 --> 00:31:00.240 Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. 00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:05.440 So the disciples wait until they're alone with Jesus, and then they ask him this question. 00:31:05.599 --> 00:31:16.480 And Jesus' response is basically: if a man or woman divorces on non-biblical grounds, then remarries, then God sees that as adultery. 00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:23.440 And like I said, if this is you, if you've done this, adultery is not an unpardonable sin. 00:31:23.680 --> 00:31:25.680 So don't beat yourself up over this. 00:31:25.839 --> 00:31:27.440 That's not what this message is about. 00:31:27.599 --> 00:31:30.079 That's in the past, and we're not going to dwell there. 00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:35.440 Instead, we're going to celebrate what Jesus did on the cross to make us all new creations. 00:31:35.839 --> 00:31:40.720 We're going to focus on what God can do with our futures instead. 00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:49.759 So I encourage you to not look back in guilt, but look forward to what God is going to do with the marriage that you're now in. 00:31:49.920 --> 00:31:56.640 Or what he's going to do with your future with him as the groom and us being the bride. 00:31:56.880 --> 00:31:58.799 But back to Jesus' response. 00:31:58.960 --> 00:32:02.240 And this time we're going to look at it in relationship to God. 00:32:02.559 --> 00:32:07.680 You know, I think once again this really comes down to idolatry, what Jesus is talking about here. 00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:18.079 A picture of turning from the oneness we have with God and going to worship something else and become one with whatever else that idol might be. 00:32:18.960 --> 00:32:24.799 You know, Jesus straight out calls it adultery in verses 11 and 12 in this text that we just read. 00:32:25.039 --> 00:32:31.519 But throughout the Old Testament as well, God referred to Israel's idolatry as what? 00:32:32.640 --> 00:32:33.839 Adultery. 00:32:35.440 --> 00:32:39.680 When they worshiped other gods, God saw it as cheating on him. 00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:44.720 As a partner in marriage would commit adultery against their spouse. 00:32:45.039 --> 00:32:50.640 That's the level of relationship that God sees and desires with us. 00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:53.039 That same oneness. 00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:56.400 And this is why God hates divorce so much. 00:32:57.599 --> 00:33:01.759 Now, as we close, you know, we have to ask the question. 00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:05.200 Now that we've gone through this, what are we going to do with all of this? 00:33:05.359 --> 00:33:08.880 Well, if you're married, fight for your marriage. 00:33:09.359 --> 00:33:12.480 Continue to pursue God and each other. 00:33:12.799 --> 00:33:19.759 Continue to become one with each other as you become one and more like Jesus. 00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:30.240 The second thing we can do is if you are married or if you're not married, continue to fight for your relationship with God. 00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:36.480 Continue to put things on the chopping block that are idolatry in your life. 00:33:36.720 --> 00:33:44.079 Like we talked about last week, taking drastic measures to uproot sin and idolatry in our lives. 00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:51.039 Continue to allow God to sanctify you, drawing you closer and closer to Him every day. 00:33:51.440 --> 00:34:05.039 And then last, if you're not following Jesus, if you're not in that relationship with Jesus as the groom and you as the bride, he loves you more than any spouse on this planet could ever love you. 00:34:05.200 --> 00:34:09.280 And he wants you to be his bride. 00:34:09.599 --> 00:34:16.960 He already literally laid down his life for you, desiring that relationship with you. 00:34:17.599 --> 00:34:22.719 He's already a hundred percent all in for each person in this room. 00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:27.920 And he's just waiting for you to jump into that relationship with him. 00:34:28.480 --> 00:34:33.039 And if you want to enter into that relationship today, just tell him. 00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:35.280 Say, I want to be in that relationship. 00:34:35.519 --> 00:34:41.599 Would you wash me and would you cleanse me with the blood of Jesus to make me more and more like you? 00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:47.679 Would you forgive me of my past idolatry and my past sins, my past rejection of you? 00:34:48.960 --> 00:34:52.000 I want to be in this relationship with you, Jesus. 00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:53.760 That's all you need to do. 00:34:54.239 --> 00:34:59.039 And he's waiting there with open arms for whoever wants that. 00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:00.880 Would you please pray with me? 00:35:04.079 --> 00:35:09.920 Lord, I thank you that you have a plan and a design for marriage. 00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:13.519 Lord, I thank you for the symbolism that's in it. 00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:24.719 The symbolism of the gospel, the symbolism of our future union at the marriage supper of the Lamb that we're gonna get to participate in. 00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:35.280 Lord, the love that you've shown, Jesus, the sacrificial love that you showed on the cross and your death, burial, and resurrection, it's incredible. 00:35:35.599 --> 00:35:38.320