It Might Be You- When Grace Found Me with Kim Lengling

In this episode I sit with Kim, describing how stories can have a great impact on the lives of those sharing them, as well as listeners, and the use of stories as a tool to connect with people globally and change lives.

Episode Key points:

[00:50] Meet today's guest, Kim Lengling. 

[03:15] Kim's 'it might be me' moment.

[12:25] How did you get into writing?

[27:30] The impact of choosing Christianity in Kim's life

[50:00] Storms are amazing and powerful. 

[55:12] Reach out for help.

[01:03:20] What 3 pieces of advice would you give someone on the same journey you took 15 years ago. 

[01:05:50] How to contact Kim.

  Resources Mentioned:

Connect: 

Find | KIM LENGLING

Website: www.kimlenglingauthor.com 

Facebook:  Let Fear Bounce / When Grace Found Me

Find | IT MIGHT BE YOU

New episodes release on Thursdays!

Follow me on Instagram at @superiorthinkerinc and keep up with all things, Leah and the podcast. 

Subscribe to the podcast on YouTube.

Thanks for listening!

Transcript

Leah McIntosh: 0:03

Welcome to it might be you podcast. I'm your host, Leah McIntosh. I'm here to help you learn that on the other side of that pain and trauma is your transformation. There may be some limiting beliefs, negative emotions, and private struggles that have led you to having your it might be me moment. I'm here to help you learn to adapt because we were created to be limitless. My hope is with each episode you feel more understood and willing to accept that although some of our past decisions landed us in a place of uncertainty, we're only one decision away from living our best lives. Now. Let's heal. Everyone, welcome to another episode of it might be you. I have a guest with me for this episode, and her name is Kim langeland Ling Ling Ling Ling. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. for 17 years, him has been writing. She is an author, freelance writer, ghost writer, public speaker, podcast host of less bounce, let fear bounce, and a coordinator of a collaborative book projects based around faith, she encourages women and men around the world to share their stories to provide inspiration, hope and healing. Welcome, welcome. excited to have you.

Kim Lengling: 1:34

Thank you very much for having me. I'm excited to be here this morning.

Leah McIntosh: 1:38

Awesome. Awesome. So tell us a little about you other than what I already shared.

Kim Lengling: 1:44

Well, I am a mother of one, I have a daughter. She's 31. And you know, off on her own life and being quite successful, which is lovely. I love to see, I am the mom to a rescue dog named Dexter. He is also my office manager here at home when I'm working. So he keeps an eye on everything, has his own little Facebook page and stuff. I enjoy reading. I'm a voracious reader, I read all the time and love reading and writing. And taking really long walks out in nature, I'm inspired by nature, most days, and a lot of times, that's where my stories come from, or ideas for things to do. And I just I just enjoy meeting new people. And this whole virtual world now that we live in, has opened up the world so much. And I've been very blessed, very blessed actually, over the last six months to meet some amazing people from around the world and share my story with them. And then they're able to share their story with me as well. So my goal is to change the world, even if it's only one person's world, and word and one story at a time. Awesome. Awesome.

Leah McIntosh: 3:02

So I would have never guessed that you have a 31 year old daughter. He looks so much younger. Thank you. Yeah, that's amazing. So yeah. So you know, let's just get into it. And share with us what your it might be me moment. Was that changed the trajectory of your life and inspired you to do what you're doing now?

Kim Lengling: 3:30

Okay, well, it started a while ago. I live with PTSD, due to sexual assault by a couple of people. And that is something that I carried. And that happened when I was younger. And that was something that I carried for many years inside of it all bottled up in there. And then you're, you know, hey, you can lock that stuff away. And I'm not going to think about it again. But that doesn't work it because it's always going to come out. It has to you can't keep all that darkness bottled up in your soul and in your heart because it's not healthy. And so there was a day years and years later, there's probably 12 years later, where life happens just so much. So many other big things, life altering things were happening in my life and the death of friends, the death of a loved one, going through a divorce, and it was all happening. Just it seemed it was one after the other just boom, boom, boom. And one day it just became too heavy. And then I felt these cracks in that wall that I had built. And then all these other thoughts started coming and all these other memories started coming. And it was I call it a swirl. I just had this messy swirl going on. And it felt like absolutely everything was out of control and It brought me to my knees, brought me to my knees. And I remember that those few moments very specifically because I was saying, God, please, God, please. And I'm sobbing. I mean those ugly sobs, ugly crying. Just those two words. And later, I realized I was crying out to a God that I had told myself for years and years I didn't believe in. And it was during those moments, on my knees on my living room floor, crying out to God, that I felt a whisper. I felt a whisper. And it was scripture. I had never read the Bible. So I heard these words, and thought to myself, Well, that sounds kind of Bible ish. And I and I was at that time I was in my early 30s. And I've never read the Bible didn't go to church wasn't raised that way. And I knew I had a Bible in the house somewhere, because everybody usually has a Bible, or some one or something. So I went, found it. And I was trying to find what these words were in the words were, but those who hope in the Lord will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, and they will walk and not faint. And I thought it was beautiful. The words were beautiful. But I had never read them before. Didn't know where they came from. But I just thought that kind of Bible ish. So I eventually found the Bible that was kind of frantic, at that point, to still have that messy swirl going on, still crying like crazy. And I couldn't find it because I didn't understand how to find anything. Your Bible, nothing made sense to me. So I literally just tossed it on the ground in front of me. And frustration. And that the words wouldn't, it wouldn't go away. That that feeling of those words come it wouldn't go away. So I reached forward and grabbed the Bible again and picked it up and looked down. And it was almost as if they were lit up. Like they jumped. Like they were. That was exactly they were highlighted. It was it was I can't describe it. But it was the words. But those who hope in the Lord will soaring wings like eagles. And then I started crying even harder. And it was from that that it shifted just a smidge to not total despair. But oh my gosh, you are there. And you just spoke to me. Me this mess on my knees. And

Leah McIntosh: 7:49

I got chills.

Kim Lengling: 7:52

That was I yeah, I get all teary eyed. Talking about it. Um, because it was so powerful. Yeah. And that's that those few moments were life altering. For me. Did it? Did I change my life overnight? Absolutely not. Did I become like this, you know, incredibly devout Christian overnight? No. But that shifted. And I became a seeker. I started seeking more and reading more and reading the Bible and going to church, and talking to the pastor and asking questions. And I was a newbie, you know, and it's been about maybe 15 years now since then. And I still consider myself a newbie Christian. Because, you know, it's just been 15 years, and I was in my mid 30s when I decided or realized, wow, he's real. And that was my moment. And that literally shifted how I saw the world, how I thought about things, how I let things affect me. It really, I changed not overnight, but little by little. But there's such significant changes and I don't I don't think I'd be writing the stories I right now. I don't think I would be in church. I don't think that I would be a Christian. I'm on the worship team. So I sing on the worship team on Sundays, I would never have thought of doing that. Or saw myself doing that said that was my moment. That changed the trajectory and I'm on a different path. The path is still bumpy. Windy, and I fall we all do. You know, I trip and fall right in the big old mud puddles and I get up, wait myself off and say, Okay, let's just keep going. You know, so that's um, yeah, that's kind of my That's my story.

Leah McIntosh: 10:03

No, and I can completely relate to the PTSD in the sexual aspect of it, because that was, that was my stuff, you know, that I had to deal with and let and let go. And you know, I had several instances I did grow up in a Christian home, but kind of like you I got off that path. And there were times that, you know, I felt like I've become just kind of snatched me about my ponytail might look a little girl you're asking for, for help, but you're being disobedient. So keep suffering. And so you know, I look at it as the decades long fight for that healing, was me choosing some of that misery. But in 2019, that changed for me when I finally started to listen. And, you know, I heard that kind of that whisper, like you said that, you'll find your freedom and forgiveness, but you have to really learn what that means. So

Unknown: 11:11

Oh, and that's a tough one.

Leah McIntosh: 11:13

It is. It, it stays, you know, like, the stuff that you have to deal with and that you have to let go is a lot. But it's worth it. And and, and like you said, like, what are the biggest reasons for this podcast is to show that there's no one size fits all, path to healing, it's, it's not always going to be it's not a straight path, you're gonna weed and Bob.

Kim Lengling: 11:46

But I'd like that visual picture weave in Bob, because that's exactly what we do. Yeah,

Leah McIntosh: 11:51

it is, you know, and you're, like, really have to do this, especially in that forgiveness realm. where, you know, like, I'm Petty, though, I don't want to do that, like, I don't want to turn the other cheek, but

Kim Lengling: 12:04

or you forgive, and then you grab it right back? Yeah.

Leah McIntosh: 12:07

Because it'll come back on, you know, it's, it's a interesting place to be, you know, to be on a new path. And know and see the old view, you know, it's like, I'm, I don't want to do it that way anymore. But yes, so tell us about this, this writing that you got into? how did how did that start?

Kim Lengling: 12:33

It was actually, in 2004. I gave a speech, I had never given a speech or spoken in public ever. And I was asked by am a veteran, and I was asked by my veteran post, to give a speech. And I was thinking, and we were having a very, very large event. And it turned out that there was well over 800 people there. So this is my first time speaking, in front of, you know, like, I worked for weeks on this speech. And the speech was about my grandfather, who was the last surviving World War One veteran in this area where I live. And so I was sharing his story. And it's a very powerful story. And so I gave that speech in front of all of these people, and there was television there. Thankfully, no one told me that there was going to be television there, because I just got up to speak. And all of a sudden, there's cameras on each side of me, and I'm like, Oh, so I, you know, I'm thinking I'll just jump in and do it. But afterwards, and it was I mean, the speech was very, very well received, the crowd went nuts. So people were crying, you know, so I was thinking, Oh, that wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I think I kind of like this talking in front of people thing. And the newspaper, the local newspaper approached me and said, Hey, have you ever considered or do you write and I said, No, I'm not even a public speaker. And they said, Well, you certainly are now, you know, and he kind of was joking around with me. This was the editor of the newspaper. And he said, I would love for you to think about writing in monthly article on veteran issues for the newspaper. And I said, Sure. I didn't know what I was doing. writer. I was like, but I just said, Sure, I'll do it. So all these years later, I'm still doing it. left column, and have been all veteran related issues, my interview veterans from all of the different areas, and it's just been, oh my goodness, blessing after blessing. I mean, I've interviewed hundreds and hundreds of peacetime veterans combat veterans, former prisoners of war, just amazing, amazing men and women over since 2014. And just so blessed by it, and that'll kind of that start. I realized when I started writing how much it did for me, it was very cathartic. It turned out that I wasn't half bad at it, you know, and I've not been trained in anything go to school for it, I went into the military, I didn't go to college. And I just my writing has continued to improve over the years. And looking back at stuff I'm I wrote back then to what I write, now I can see the change in the shift. And it's much, my writing is much more gentle now. And I try to write with all five senses to make sure all the senses are in the story. So the reader is pulled into it, can feel it, and smell it and hear it and know exactly the texture that I'm talking about. And they can feel it. And that's all it was all self taught. And so everything that I right now is all about getting that motivation out of you, you know, finding, finding that rock star that you truly are, that masterpiece that you truly are that God made you to be, and getting that out. And onto paper, because everybody has a story. And I'm not even sure well, when I started interviewing, and you know, with the veterans and stuff, but then I started meeting more and more people in different areas, different realms, you know? And then I thought, well, gosh, there's so many people that need their story. Cool, how can I do this. And then I was asked to participate in a collaborative project and share my story, which I had never done before ever, in 2014. And I'm thinking, Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh. But then I was continually nudged internally, now is the time. And that was hard. Putting it in the book. And just thinking, and putting us out in the world. Oh, my goodness, what am I thinking? I second guessed, myself, and I had the demand perched on my shoulder. So often, you are not worth anything. You are broken, you are dirty, who wants to read your story? You're nothing, you know. So yeah, and I was still learning to flick him off. I wasn't super good at it then yet. And then I did it. I barreled through that. And that was another shift, sharing my story and realizing there are so many out there that have a story, that if they let just that little part of it go it'll take a weight off of them. But it could change someone else's life. Someone else reading those words, could be in that exact spot that you've been in and realize, okay, I'm not crazy. And wow, I'm really not alone. Because when you're in that dark spot, rationally, you know, you can cry out to help, you know, you can reach out to someone for help, you know, you're not alone. rationally. Yeah. But when you're in that dark hole, none of that comes through, you know, you feel incredibly isolated and alone. And it's a horrible feeling. It's horrible. And I know how it feels because I've been there. And I'll very well be there again, sometime because life happens. But if someone's words, and I can help others get their words out there that can help someone like me that was on my knees crying out to God that I didn't even believe in. It makes that little shift, just that little nudge. Why wouldn't I do that? And I realized that that God has been gently nudging me for years to do that. And six months ago, I lost a very good job during the pandemic. I've never lost a job before. And it's just it's me and my dog. So I'm going, Oh, I have no job. What am I going to do? So I gave myself one day, to be angry at the world and hurt and all those other emotions that you know One day, Kim, one day you get this. And then tomorrow, you're gonna pull up your big girl panties. And we're working on a plan and woke up the next day. And it just all came to me, you will write these stories weave, you will get people to get their stories to you, you will get them out into the world. There are other young ladies on their knees with their heads in their hands, crying and sobbing out to God that they probably don't believe in either you will do this job. That was just boom, boom. And I'm like, Oh, okay. And so I firmly believe that I lost my job for a reason. And I've not to worry, I am to trust. And I am to do what he's not no longer gently nudging me to do is strongly do so that's what I've been doing. For the last six months I've been I started the three books. It started out to be one book 20 women from around the world sharing their their testimony of when grace found them. So the name of the book is when grace found me. But the people kept coming and saying, Can I participate? I have a story. I have a story I've been needing to share for years. And I think I'm ready now. So many people and it turned into this turned into a three book series now. And Volume Two is going to be released more than likely by the end of this month. And volume three, probably late fall. And there's a second series because people keep coming. And I'm going okay, well. I'm glad I listened to God. Yeah. So that's, you know, I decided, Okay, I'm not going to start sending my resume out and be frustrated and angry and not be able to find a job that I can even pay my bills on. And just I'm trusting and doing what I was, I feel very strongly I was nudged in, you know, shoved to do a little bit. And I started my podcast, let fear bounce, because that's what I decided to do, let it bounce, I got my armor on. The demands, little arrows are not going to land, they're going to ping right off my armor, they're just going to bounce. And so that's where I came up with the title for my podcast is let fear bounce. And that's what brought me where I'm at now.

Leah McIntosh: 22:31

Awesome. And you know, this is the thing I really want to touch on when you are obedient. And when you actually sit and quiet and you're quiet. And you realize, okay, this is what that's nudging me to do. The opportunities that unfold before you. It's just, it could be beyond your wildest dreams. So, you know, this podcast that I'm, I started, I started with someone else, and it didn't work out. And so like if I had that doubt that little self that why do you think that people want to hear from me? Why this, why that. And I let it sit for a year. And I just couldn't get those, you know, limiting beliefs and bounce out of my ear. And I finally just had a conversation with a acquaintance in a friend of mine. And she was like, why do you like what's wrong with you, of course, you can do this, like, I'm, I'm excited, I've been praying for you. And that just hit me like a ton of bricks because I you know, you never know who's who's praying for you. Right? And she didn't know my story as a whole sheet of said, you know, you need to do this, this is going to be a great way for you to continue your healing and to share and show you know, give other people the opportunity to come and share their stories to help other people. And that week after we had that talk at, he said, Okay, I'm going to do it. And my biggest thing, the doubt that I kept kind of convincing the story, I guess what I was telling myself, no one will come. That was such a lie. That's a lie. I had 80 people raise their hand and say, hey, I want to come on and share my story. And, you know, it just blew my mind and because I was obedient and I started that process, the opportunities that have been opened up for me. Ridiculous just in the last two weeks. I've gotten invited to speak at six different events and six different things. I'm like what in the world you know

Kim Lengling: 25:01

It's amazing, isn't it? It is it is, and the connections that you make from your guests like the guests that I've had on my podcast, some of the connections have just been amazing. And you're thinking, alright, that's all you've done. That is Yeah, now that just happened, you know, and yeah, it's amazing the way the world those opportunities, they do open up, where you never would have anticipated. I'm not doing anything that I thought that I would be doing right now. You know, I always had a dream of doing something like this, what I'm what I'm been doing for the last six months. But I always kept saying, alright, I'll give it another 12 months, and then I'll see. Maybe I'll try it go and doing that full time. Maybe if you know, and I kept telling myself that 12 months, give myself another 12 months, I'll do this, I'll save a little bit more money here. And maybe, and then the choice was taken away from me. And in the last six months, I have done things I never anticipated. And just like you had 80 people, you know, who would anticipate that?

Leah McIntosh: 26:13

I didn't. I was like, wasn't aware I'm still answering some of these people. So it was

Kim Lengling: 26:19

awesome, though, you know.

Leah McIntosh: 26:24

And just even with that, like you said, some of the guests that have come on have put me in contact with other people. Like, I think that you all would be great together. And I'm like, oh, okay, great. And being able to collaborate with other podcasters and go on their show. It's been like I said, it's been mind blowing for me that when when I actually listen. Isn't that something? Yeah. Yeah, it's that being hard headed and scared to do you know, to do what it is I feel led to do, right. I'm gonna let

Kim Lengling: 27:01

you have to let fear bout Yeah, that's

Leah McIntosh: 27:06

right. That's a great a great title and add definitely a great description of, of how,

Kim Lengling: 27:13

oh, it's Yeah, it's just simple. And in your face.

Leah McIntosh: 27:17

It is like, let it go. Let it bounce. So yeah, yeah, it's amazing. I'm so with your journey. This is one of the questions that I have that I always ask, being that you weren't raised. In a Christian environment. Did you have support? Or do you? Did it? repel certain people out of your life?

Kim Lengling: 27:48

since I became a Christian, yeah, when you

Leah McIntosh: 27:51

started your, your path and lit, you know, maybe close family and friends know that, hey, I'm saved, and this is the life I want to lead. How do that go? You know, did? Did you have that support? Or

Kim Lengling: 28:05

Not really? Many people that were in my life faded away. And new ones came in. You know, my family loved them all dearly. And I think they're all at different levels of what their belief or their hearts may be. I can't say for them. I can't speak for them. Yeah. But I know that I am. I feel my perception is I feel like I'm so the family unit, here they are. And I've been put over here now. Still, they're just not tight in the circle. That is sometimes hard to understand. And it's because I My heart has changed so much. And it continues to it continues to because we're continually growing on this Christian path. You know, and it's not straight, and it's not even. And no one ever said it was going to be easy. I mean, as a matter of fact, things seem to become more difficult. But I've learned how to face those difficulties and to handle them and to recognize them. That's the key for me to recognize where certain things might be coming from and not judge. Yeah. And that's, I think, a big one. So I you know, I can love people from afar, you know, not and not judge them and still feel very hurt by them. And sometimes It is hard to not judge. Like not one not want to lash back. You know not lash. Maybe that's not the right word but not want to fire something back every once in a while it's like, you know, if you could just see, you know, why don't you understand this? Yes, but that's not my job. No, it's not my job to judge and it's not my job to change anybody. All I can do is toss those seeds you know so that's I just I you know, I jokingly say I'm a little pebble tosser with a little mustard seed toss or just too awesome. And I joke around with my pastor, I'm like, you know, sometimes tossing those little teeny weeny seeds isn't working, can I just get a shovel full and throw it in someone's face? my pastor, he just shakes his hand, because I really don't think that's the way we're supposed to do it. Yeah.

Leah McIntosh: 30:59

No, no, I think that'd be you know, sometimes

Kim Lengling: 31:03

you're like, oh, but um, yeah, it's, it has changed who, who is in my life and who has stayed in my life, and some have left on their own and some I walked away from Yeah,

Leah McIntosh: 31:19

and I guess like for me, and why I asked that question is that's that this is nothing new, you know, your, your people are gonna fall off and that everybody is meant to be with you for a lifetime now. So I'm just four seasons to seven or even at less than that. But don't let that hold you back from making the changes because like you said, when you make space people show up the people that need to be there for you show up. And I'm a huge believer in you can make your family it doesn't have to be the family you're born into. And I've had that thought process since I was young. So you know, let's say that I don't have a good relationship with my family but it's just I also recognize I live across the country. They live way no way far away. And you need a support system. And you know, you had to be willing to accept that it may not come in that form. When you're making those changes. And people don't understand that they're fearful of those changes, there's going to be some pushback, people might go Sue people just may will you change I don't want anything to do with you anymore. And that's fine respect their model of the world and understand that they're just working with the resources they have available to them at the time. Does it mean that eventually like you said as you start tossing those leads, something won't stick and they have that shift that heart shift is what I like Collin and

Kim Lengling: 33:14

and it might not it might not happen for us to ever even see. Yeah,

Leah McIntosh: 33:18

exactly.

Kim Lengling: 33:19

You know, I mean, it may happen but we may never see it but we may have had a teeny tiny part in it.

Leah McIntosh: 33:26

And just being okay with that, you know, I think that's been a hard

Kim Lengling: 33:30

that is hard. Yeah, that's a good point. Very good point. Yeah. It is. It is very difficult to just tell yourself, you know, hey, you have to be fine with that. care about these people as much as you want, but you can't change them. You can't make them do anything or make them believe anything. They have to go through that same bumpy rocky path that you did to get to where you're at. Yeah, that's what I have to remind myself Can you remember how hard your path was and it didn't take you a few days or a few months it took you years and years. So don't sit there and put yourself on a little pedestal and look at someone else and think that they should change overnight when it took you a lot of years you know I have to remind myself of that knock myself down you know I look at myself and go oh Kim you best Hummer yourself right now because Who do you think you are stepping up to that next step thinking you're better Yeah, and those those that were human they're going to come? And when they do I'm always like that you know you cringe I literally cringe you go Oh, I had that thought again. What do you Kim Stop it,

Leah McIntosh: 34:45

you know, right? But to be able to catch yourself in that is huge. Because a lot of people don't recognize that that they're they put themselves on this pedestal and I don't want to ruffle feathers. But a lot of Christians do that, and they look down. That's the worst thing you can do when you're trying to bring other people to that, right? Right? No, you know that that's something that I watch for, like, I respect everybody's model of the world and know that, um, people don't share the same belief system I do, and that's fine. It's completely fine. meet people where they're at, meet them where they're at. it to me just be the example like, you know, Christians get a bad rap. Because of, you know, that dogmatic judgy stuff that some have and some display. But I don't want that. I don't want when somebody comes in to my presence. That's not what I want. I don't want you to walk away with a positive, good experience that okay, I want to be a Christian. And that's the type of Christian I'm I want to be. So yeah, it's it's hard, but you start realizing these things. In your eyes are being opened.

Kim Lengling: 36:16

Yes. Yeah. And, you know, they submit. And that's what I had said earlier, I see things in such a different way now. And I am incredibly empathetic. Yes, incredibly empathetic, where I think I always have been, I'm pretty sure I was born that way. And God made way for a reason. But I never for years and years, I did not let myself feel. And now that I do, it's like, and it's almost too heavy sometimes. And I realize just how empathetic I am. And I'm thinking, you know, I often think, have I was I always this way, when I was younger, was I like this. Was it life that changed that? Or is it something I had to grow into?

Leah McIntosh: 37:15

Well, to me empathy, and being it, you know, people call to impact. That's a muscle that you have to develop. And if you like you said, You shut yours off. I found that I did the same thing. Because of the sexual traumas and all that stuff. I didn't want to feel anything, right. I don't want it to be heartless. Like, I don't want to feel anything. Let me just whatever. And as soon as I started down that path of, Okay, I don't want to be like this anymore. This is not who I want to be. That it opened back up, like, okay, yeah, I get it. And you were born with it. Like I said, Everybody has. has that capability. But some people feel it much stronger than others. And I feel for sure, the closer that I develop my relationship with God, and the more I'm in tune to that. I me too. Yeah. And sometimes it's almost overwhelming. Yeah. And I have to pull myself away from humans. Yeah,

Kim Lengling: 38:32

I say it's too much. It's so much an overload. And I think that's why, you know, and I'm always outside, as often as I can be, I'm outside or I'm walking my dog. And that's where I pray and talk to God the Most. And that's where a lot of my stories come from when I am in nature. And that's it. And I tell people all the time, that's where I breathe. If I'm around too many people for too long, it's actually overwhelming to me. And it's too it's just too much, and I start to get anxious.

Leah McIntosh: 39:07

And that makes me Yeah, so this is the question. And this was like, really enlightening for me. When you feel like you are just completely depleted energy wise, do you get energized by being around people or being by yourself? being by myself, okay, then that's just a personality trait. And that's have

Kim Lengling: 39:27

to and I jokingly tell people, you know, like, I could easily become a recluse and, and just stay home. You know?

Leah McIntosh: 39:38

And I say that I think I could take or leave people for you. When the pandemic happened, I was like, Oh, great. I don't have to be around anybody.

Kim Lengling: 39:47

I thought the same I'm thinking you know, this isn't gonna be so bad. Now, you know, that's joking because I'm still I'm by myself in my house. So you know, certainly I'm not putting anything. It's serious thing. Yes, yeah, yes, just altered and changed so many lives. But for me, my personal life I my first thought was, I'm not going to mind this at all.

Leah McIntosh: 40:11

And that was me too. Okay. Actually, it was a, it didn't work out for the well for me because it, I did have quiet. But then my husband had to come home and start working from home. And then yeah, it changed a lot. And I was like, ah, like, I'm always drinking, I don't get quiet time anymore. And so it was, it was that way for? well over a year. And I'm just now my husband still home. But we've gotten a good little routine down where, when I need quiet or whatever, I just go and go to a different room or do whatever I need to do. We made it made him a little office. And it has worked out better now. But yeah, in the beginning, I was like, oh, my goodness, this is the longest and the most I've been around you and yours.

Kim Lengling: 41:14

Think that was a lot for a lot of people. Yeah,

Leah McIntosh: 41:17

it was fine. Like, me and my husband have a really good relationship. Thank God, but at the same time, it's like you still need space?

Kim Lengling: 41:27

Yes, everybody does. Yeah.

Leah McIntosh: 41:29

So it was an adjustment for sure. So your first book, I do have the link for it. How many books? Or how many stories are you sharing in these biomes and each biome that you've written so far,

Kim Lengling: 41:50

20. Okay. For the wind, Grace found me series, the three books, there's 20 women, in each book, sharing their stories. And there's another series I'm going to be starting very soon, at least getting the word out there called when hope found me. And I had, I've had men start to reach out and say, Hey, can we be in these books, I've got a story, you know, and I've got a testimony to share. And I didn't anticipate men to start reaching out to me. So the when hope found me, series is going to be open to men. It's open to men and women. And I'm really excited about that, because I had talked to a few men. When I first started this journey. And there I there is no way I would ever write my story. There is no way I ever put in. And it was because I was just trying to get feedback. Literally, I was doing like my own little mini research type thing. talking to different talking to men of different ages, you know, and none of them were even vaguely interested. And I thought okay, well that answers that. And now that we're almost finalizing, you know, finishing up this first series, which is just amazing. To me, it's amazing in less than a year. But now I have you know, in the last couple of months, I have been reaching out to me, sending me an email or sending a private message, hey, I saw this, or I heard your podcast or I read this here, someone told me about you. You know, and I've got a I've got a testimony, I'd love to share. And so it's just been, it's been amazing. And I'm thinking, you know, yeah, bring it on.

Leah McIntosh: 43:42

Yeah. It's crazy, because I haven't had many men reach out I've had so far one. And his story was really, really good. And then I have another one scheduled, so I'm really looking forward. But there there's not many men that want to come on. Like you said, they're a little bit more guarded. And just I think society has bred that. Yeah, supposed to be tough and you can't care. But that's, that's, you know, it doesn't serve them. No, come share, because there might be some other guy out there that can relate to your pathway,

Kim Lengling: 44:21

right? I think out of I have like 57 episodes or something like that. And I think I've had maybe four men.

Leah McIntosh: 44:30

Oh my goodness. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Kim Lengling: 44:34

And that's just what the podcast and that the the ones for that were interested in being in the book. They showed interest in being the book and then I said, Hey, would you come on my podcast? Do you want to be a guest? So I was trying to like, you know, do my own little gentle nudges. This'll, this will give you that that little taste of getting your story out there. But there's a couple that They've started sharing their story on their own, they started their own podcasts. And during this pandemic thing, you know, this past year, or more than 12 months now, there's been a shift in so many people. For the good that I've, I've saw, I've witnessed anyway, and it's, I love seeing that because I am seeing more and more men put themselves out there. Whereas before I had not a year ago, I didn't see that and now I'm seeing it. And I, I love seeing that. Yeah,

Leah McIntosh: 45:35

me too. Because I think it's much needed. And sometimes, you know, listen to women share is great, not but they can't really relate. Right? And so it's, you know, it's important to know that you have somebody else that went through that and how they were able to get over, not necessarily get over it, but start that healing process. And there was something Hold on, I gotta think you said something that I wanted to touch on, but it went out of my head. But yeah, this has been really is cool, you know, that you felt led to, to share so many different people's testimonies. And

Kim Lengling: 46:21

it's, it's been, it's been reading the other lady's stories. And now there's 60 of them, reading them getting to know these women. It is so humbling. It is so humbling. And I am regularly I find myself regularly saying, you know what, thank you God. Because I actually needed to read her story. Or Wow, now I if I know the person about Oh, now I understand her so much better. You know, he's, it's, it's opened my eyes. Like we were talking earlier, you start to see things different. Yeah. And by doing this part of my journey with these, these collaborative books, my eyes have been opened even more and, and being the whole empathetic person that I am sometimes it's really, really, really hard to read the stories and not let them settle on you.

Leah McIntosh: 47:26

Yes. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. You have to learn how to care not carry. Yeah. So yeah, you. you internalize that stuff. And then I have to ask myself, sometimes when I start feeling down in the dumps, is this my feelings? Are Is this something that I've taken on from someone else?

Kim Lengling: 47:47

Right, right. And usually

Leah McIntosh: 47:50

I find it

Kim Lengling: 47:51

ironic. We're an awful?

Leah McIntosh: 47:54

Yes. Like I said, when you're when you start being obedient and listen, yep. Start getting people that are on the same wavelength as you show up into your life. And it's huge.

Kim Lengling: 48:07

It is so important,

Leah McIntosh: 48:09

you know, you start feeling you thought you find your people, or Yes, lead. Yeah. So that's, that's why I said, like, I have no idea when I started open up and asking, you know, people to come onto the podcast, some where it was hitting Miss, you know, but I'm finding that now most of them have been people that are on the same wavelength as me, and I'm like, Oh,

Kim Lengling: 48:33

awesome. The beginning my beginning it was hitting Miss. Yeah. And I would end one and go.

Leah McIntosh: 48:41

Yeah, like, Am I gonna use this?

Kim Lengling: 48:43

Right? And the last several months? If you're right, the right people are put on your path. Or put in front of you in some way. Yeah. And I just smile. Yeah. I mean, like, you did it again.

Leah McIntosh: 49:04

Just Just trust the process. You know, that's the big thing for me is just trust the process.

Kim Lengling: 49:09

Yeah. And you know, and if you do if you do put your trust out there, all the journey can be amazing.

Leah McIntosh: 49:15

Oh, yeah. Well, it takes the guesswork out. Just like when you decide, and the stress of it, you know, like you I was stressing out when I first started this in the way that the format is of this podcast was not the initial format. And I'm like, Thank God thank God, we're, you know, moving. Well, I'm not the safer it was we had to change and regroup because of COVID. And so it's like that was not the best way for the regrouping to happen, but it ended up being a blessing in the end. So

Kim Lengling: 49:59

yeah, Yeah, in in. And I'm always saying that storms, they're amazing. And they're powerful, whether it's a physical storm or mental storm, they are super powerful, and they are amazing. They are if you actually pick it apart and look at things like that, but in their, in that strength, because the storms are strong too. So that strength and within that strength, there is beauty. And there's amazing things happening. But we're always so focused on the negative part of it, the storm, you know, and I've had amazing opportunities come to me over the last year, amazing opportunities. I became ill, I had a lot milder, I had a milder case of COVID I felt like crap for quite some time, and was in corn, you know, quarantined in the house. And not that I was going anywhere anyway. But knowing that I couldn't, once I just I didn't feel well, and it hung with me for weeks. So it was all through the holiday season all last November and December, for two months. absolutely awful. And, but even during that time, even during that time, that I felt awful. I wanted to write more, I started meeting more people through, you know, groups on Facebook, Christian writing groups, and other types of networking type things on online. And it was during that time where I look at it now it's like, well, because I felt so I was so tired all the time. And it's not even tyres, fatigue, incredible fatigue, and not feeling well at all, and headaches constantly. And there was still beauty found within that storm. So many good things came in the midst of a storm. And so that's how I look at it, you know, you're in a storm. You just have to remember there's tremendous strength. storms are scary, but there's still a lot of strength in there. And in strength, there is beauty.

Leah McIntosh: 52:29

Yeah, that is so true. And, you know, I was thinking back, I came back to me, I should ask this earlier. But for me, being diagnosed, I was 21 when I got diagnosed with PTSD, and I was very resistant of that diagnosis because of course you just think, oh, my goodness is gonna follow me this label is going to follow me the rest of my life. And I didn't really understand what it was and I just didn't understand. I was fearful of how it would affect me getting I don't know why I thought I was 21. So that things will be people aren't gonna hire me if they think I have PTSD and all the things because of course, people think you're crazy. Yeah, you know, and so I realized something. It took many years and going through this journey is that, yes, being diagnosed with PTSD can be hard for some. But I found that I got I had post traumatic gains, like the the insights that I gained about myself, and what what it was I wasn't crazy, I just didn't know how to process some of the things that I seen. And it, it was more of a I'm not gonna say it became well kind of, in certain ways it kind of became a superpower. Like I just stopped looking at it in a negative way. And I was able to reframe it and accept it. I'm always gonna have this because it's unfortunately was just a live experience that happened. But I don't have to let it define me. And for a while I was letting that happen. But I guess that's what I want our listeners to know to your listen to the two people that have his diagnosis. We haven't let it define our lives at all like it's been very eye opening and it helped me to understand myself more about certain ways that I handled situations and

Kim Lengling: 54:55

that it's it's their invisible scars.

Leah McIntosh: 54:58

Yes,

Kim Lengling: 54:59

everybody has Everybody has scars. Everybody has scars. Ours just happened to be invisible. You know, and it is how it First off, if someone is that maybe is listening right now. Reach out to someone for help, if you need. I did not, I did not was very, very strongly encouraged by my veteran family to go seek help. And I said, I don't need any help. I'm strong. I'm a veteran. Leave me alone. Yeah. And because I didn't, I didn't seek help for 12, close to 13 years. And that's when my life felt like it imploded. And I realized, Oh, I think I do need help. And that I still didn't want to go and my veteran family, thank goodness for them. They, well, they made me go. They said, we're gonna drag you kicking and screaming if you don't go on your own. Yeah, they made me go. I didn't appreciate it at that time. And I didn't like them for a while. And then I you know, hindsight, you're like, you guys are the best thing that ever happened to me. Yeah. They're still my family all these years later. You know, I they're my brothers. They are my brothers and sisters. And I'm so thankful that that handful recognized that and I recall one of them saying, they're Vietnam vets. They're all combat Vietnam veterans. So they went through their own hell. Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. And I remember the one saying to me, I don't know, they always called me kid, because I'm, you know, 20 years younger than them. And the one gentleman he said, I don't know what you're going through. But I recognize the signs, and you are going to get help. Or I'm going to drag your butt, he used a different word, and drag your butt kicking and screaming. And I've never forgotten that, that he recognized the signs. He didn't ask me what was wrong, he didn't ask me what had happened to make me feel that way. He recognized it. And said, I'm going to get you help. Because you're at a point right now where you can't even help yourself. So if you've got those people in your life, don't, don't, don't push back so hard. Let them help you. Set your pride aside, set your pride aside, and let them help you because in the long run, you're going to, you're going to be so much better. So much better.

Leah McIntosh: 57:57

And that's, that's true that I didn't recognize I was seven years old. So I wouldn't have known. Right? know these things. But when I started getting to the dating realm, and meeting, gentlemen, it started to come to light that Okay, I have some resistance here. That's not normal, or whatnot. So I was strongly encouraged to seek counseling, because that's not something that was done right after it was revealed about the, you know, my parents. At the time it was we'll just pray, we'll pray it, we'll pray it away. We'll pray for healing. That wasn't enough. because like you said, it was invisible scars that, you know, that were just left open and festering SAP for many, many years to many years. Yeah. And even going through talk therapy. It still didn't. didn't do anything. If I had to really go deep and get to the root. Yeah, yeah. and heal from there. And that's when everything shifted for me. So yeah. It's,

Kim Lengling: 59:18

it does take more than one. Prayer, no one works. I strongly believe that prayer always works. Seeing a counselor. That's just another piece of the puzzle. Yeah. To help. It's part of your, you know, your, your, your support system. Yeah. You know, and, for me, that's, you know, I, I started seeing a counselor, which was prior to my starting church, so it's all part of my path. are all part of the journey that I was meant to take? Exactly. You know, so it's, um, yeah, it's not I don't look at PTSD is negative, and I never look or judge someone else that has it and look at them as negative or weak. To me, those people are amazingly strong. And I consider myself a strong person. Because everybody's story is different. And to them, their trauma might look different to others to someone else. But to them, it's huge and life altering. And it takes a tremendous amount of strength and fortitude to come out the other side. So PTSD to me is not a negative banner. that's, to me, it's screaming. Wow. strong person. Right? They're incredibly strong person right there.

Leah McIntosh: 1:00:45

Yeah. And I look at it as I don't look like what I've been through. Oh,

Kim Lengling: 1:00:51

I love that. Yeah,

Leah McIntosh: 1:00:53

I don't I don't look, you have to make up.

Kim Lengling: 1:00:57

A ban. T shirt, Pat. Yeah. That's awesome. That is awesome. I love that. Love that.

Leah McIntosh: 1:01:06

So you know that I that had just been kind of become a mantra for me. Like, like what I've been through. And a lot of other people don't either. You know, it's great. It's a blessing. Because I should look busted and, and bruised, but I don't live

Kim Lengling: 1:01:25

with it. So sometimes you feel like, you know, yeah, you're like, well, I shouldn't. I should, I should look a lot. Our own our own vision of ourselves. Oh, my goodness, is so different. And so skewed, from what others probably CSS, and told that many times by people saying, Kim, when I look at you, I see an incredibly strong, intelligent, beautiful woman. And I'm sitting there going, who are you looking at?

Leah McIntosh: 1:01:54

Yeah.

Kim Lengling: 1:01:56

Really, I don't see that I and I'm not just like making noise. And you know, trying to say to say that to get compliments from anyone ever. I honestly get very uncomfortable with compliments. I actually kind of like internally cringe. And people that know me well enough, they'll see it. And they'll notice it and they'll be like Kim, relax, just say thank

Leah McIntosh: 1:02:19

you. It's funny that you bring this up, because I had this conversation yesterday with my coach. And I said, it's hard for me to take compliments. But I'm working on it. I recognize that about myself. And I'm working on it. And like you said, your viewpoint of you is so different than other people. And so it was enlightening to be told, hey, and my for this, this and that, or whatever it is that, you know, they're telling you, and I accept it because I'm like, Okay, this is a better way of viewing myself. Because they're our hardest creators

Kim Lengling: 1:02:59

Sometimes, though, isn't it? It is

Leah McIntosh: 1:03:01

and you know, we are we our worst critics, and Oh, yes. You know, I'm like, Okay, good. Well, somebody else sees what I'm actually trying to do. So um, I must be, you know, exuding that which is rightfully what I want. So, um, what three pieces of advice would you give someone who bears the same journey, I might be on the same journey that you were 15 years ago.

Kim Lengling: 1:03:35

three pieces. All right. When your wall start to come down, it's gonna hurt like, heck, there's no doubt. There's no doubt it's going to hurt. Let yourself, go through it. Let yourself go through the hurt, let yourself feel it. You have to face it. You have to face it. seek support system, whether it's church, family, friends, Pastor, Counselor. They will help you face your demons because that's what they are. All that dark. Energy and awfulness that you've stored and tried to hide away for so many years. That's built up and become very strong. So yeah, it's gonna hurt. So face it. Reach out to someone to help you face it. And then, each day, each day, tell yourself yourself something positive. Tell yourself something positive. It's all about baby steps. You don't have to take these giant leaps and think that you're going to be healed and perfect and better. We're all works in progress, all of us, and none of us are perfect. None of us. So even if you're just taking a tiny little baby step, and just saying, hey, alright, you did the laundry today. That's fantastic. You know, that's how you get done in a day. That's fantastic. Cuz you did it, baby step. You crawled out of bed when you didn't want to. Just don't let yourself sink. So yeah, let your walls fall. Easier said than done. I knew that let your walls fall, find a support system, even if it's just one person, and try and tell yourself something good each day, each day. Those are my three things.

Leah McIntosh: 1:05:48

Awesome. Those are good. Good things. So where can the listeners find you on social?

Kim Lengling: 1:05:58

They can I'm on Facebook. Okay. Under let fear bounce, they can go to my website, which is my name Kim Ling Ling author.com. And that's being revamped as we speak. So I'm kind of excited. So it'll be a lot easier to navigate, you'll be able to see a lot more but I'm on Facebook, under let fear balance and there's also have a public group for the wind grace family book series. And that's open for anybody to join so they can follow along. The ladies journeys of sharing their writing stories and sharing their stories and getting published and stuff like that. So let fear bounce and when grace found me on Facebook,

Leah McIntosh: 1:06:39

awesome, awesome. Well, I want to thank you for coming on and sharing your story. It was amazing.

Kim Lengling: 1:06:45

And I think really, I enjoyed this. I really, really enjoyed this. It was awesome. Thank you for having me.

Leah McIntosh: 1:06:51

Thank you. Okay, guys, thanks for listening to another episode. And we will speak next week. Thank you for listening to another episode of it might be you. Please tune in each Thursday for new releases. And make sure to subscribe, share and review. If you enjoyed this episode. You can find me on Instagram at pear thinker Inc. and as always remember to allow yourself the space for grace and give yourself the gift of self forgiveness.