Love Fort Wayne Podcast
The Love Fort Wayne podcast amplifies the stories of everyday people who are loving and leading in Northeast Indiana to spark imagination, root inspiration, and ignite transformation.
Love Fort Wayne Podcast
Aaron & Janell Lane
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A testimony of saying yes to God's call, stepping out in faith, and building something beautiful in service to others. Rooted in their faith in Jesus, they lead with courage and compassion, creating healing spaces for individuals and families across Northeast Indiana.
Walking Away From Stability
Speaker 1walking away from very stable careers where you are making an impact with the hope of making a deeper impact .
Speaker 2Do you get what I'm ?
Speaker 1saying Absolutely but you're walking away from the stability . To do it , it was terrifying .
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah , hey everybody . Welcome to the latest episode of the Love Fort Wayne podcast . This is the June episode . I'm excited about this one . These are literally lifelong friends . So if you think about kindergarten , first grade , and you go back , you think about who did I know back in kindergarten or first grade that I still know now ? Erin and Janelle are people that I knew have known for that long from football . Then we ended up working together , aaron and then Janelle . We were in the same kindergarten class .
Speaker 3We graduated from 12th grade , we even went to college .
Speaker 1one of the years before I transferred .
Speaker 3So this is an exciting conversation for me personally , but I think everybody that's listening is going to love it , because we get the opportunity to hear about Aaron and Janelle's heart for our community , for people , what they do through their work with Courageous Healing , courageous Living and so many other things . So thank you , guys for joining me today for the Love4Way podcast .
Speaker 1Thanks for having us .
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah , thanks for having us . Yeah , yeah . So we always want to ask folks to tell a little bit about themselves , a little bit about their journeys , and for you all it's unique because it's a journey that's a separate but also connected as a married couple , so can you share a little bit about where you're from and your journey , and then even how that led you to the work that you're doing now with Courageous Healing ?
Speaker 1You can start . Certainly , I always prefer when you start and then I fill in the gaps .
Speaker 2Kind of give you a little of my background as an individual and then what led us to coming together collectively .
Speaker 2So , born and raised Southeast Fort Wayne , as you mentioned very passionate , and love the community I come from .
Speaker 2Grew up on different parts of Southeast Fort Wayne , from the East side to the south , with my mother , my sister got an older sister , went to Adams Elementary , blackhawk Middle School , on to Snyder High School , did a year and a half here at St Francis in town playing football , then left and went to Purdue University in West Lafayette where I spent the remainder of my college years , graduated with a bachelor's in law and society , had the opportunity to go free agent to the Miami Dolphins , you know , through the grace of God and some connections that I had , and was in rookie minicamp , things of that nature , played arena ball after that for a couple of years and God said , yep , it's time to go back to Fort Wayne and begin life .
Speaker 2And I like to tell people that's where my identity crisis began , because I was so heavily invested in football that I didn't know who Aaron Lane was without a helmet on . So when I came back to Fort Wayne after playing football , I young athletes that kind of led me on a path of figuring out what my true purpose and passion was , which ended up intertwining and me getting connected with Janelle , and it's been history ever since . So I'll end there and let her introduce herself individually .
Speaker 1So born and raised . Southeast Fort Wayne also . Actually , Aaron and I grew up in the same church . Our families kind of sit on different sides of the pews .
Speaker 2Thank goodness , that was God's protection , right yeah ?
Speaker 1So our families knew each other very well but we didn't really know each other until later in life . We kind of knew of each other in high school but never really hung out directly . And they end up meeting later in life . We kind of knew of each other in high school but never really hung out directly . And then end up meeting later in life , in adult , young adulthood . I will say but yeah , born and raised Southeast Fort Wayne . I'll pick my story up in high school because my high school had such a significant impact on my identity .
Speaker 2You're very familiar with my high school Jeff , significant impact on my identity .
Speaker 1You're very familiar with my high school , jeff . So we both went to Paul Harding High School , you and I and I would say that is where I fell in love with culture and my identity . I had , by that point , had the experience of going to very diverse schools we you know Southwick when we were younger and then , for a short time , I ended up having to go out to a environments that I was in and just learning from
Lifelong Friends, Shared Journeys
Speaker 1that and building cross-cultural relationships , but also being able to have that high school experience that helped me to be so rooted and grounded in my culture and in my cultural identity . And so it was just , it was so important , I feel like , in my development and I would even go further to say with my commitment to staying rooted to culture , because I feel very committed to that Under Neil Brown .
Speaker 1You know , dr Neil Brown created a family environment , I feel like , as as a high school it was very familial , from the staff all the way down to the students , and I felt like it was almost , in a lot of ways at times , the equivalent of going to a black college , with some of the things that students of color gain from attending black colleges and universities . So I just felt like it was very as Aaron has talked about this identity journey that he went on of feeling a little lost and having to find himself . I felt so rooted and grounded in my identity that it was a really interesting I would say match when we got together because we were at different points in our identity journey . But I feel like it has been a beautiful thing for me to watch him find his identity and really take hold , take hold of that .
Speaker 1Um . So I just think again rich um passion for community . That's where I say Paul Harding is where I fell in love with both culture and community , is where I learned that I am part of a greater whole and um can impact the trajectory of that whole by my choices . Um , yeah .
Speaker 3Yeah , I love that . Yeah , I love that you guys' story so a unique thing too is . This is a fun thing . We like to have fun on our podcast too . So obviously , knowing Aaron and Janelle , you know I was kind of a little bit of bridge to you guys starting to date each other .
Speaker 1Well , you , you played a role in it , though Like I don't know if you know , yeah , yeah Like it was a pretty significant role . It was you and one other person from the community who , at different times , kept asking us if we knew each other .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , yeah I mean we had both gone through our college journeys and ventured out . I was in Miami for a while , Janelle spent time in California and then Indianapolis , and again God brought us back to Fort Wayne .
Speaker 2We both came back home yeah , and we were on these journeys of trying to figure out what was next . Yeah , you know our purpose and all those things and , being passionate about Fort Wayne , we knew that this was home Right , and you and I were working at AWP at the time and Janelle was working at the schools alongside my cousin , jarrell Hunter . Yeah , so , just through again , all the conversations we would have about a variety of different things .
Speaker 1As you said , you were the bridge that saw some similarities in Janelle and I , yeah , and we had some things in common .
Speaker 2That was like . I remember you asking me one time hey , do you know Janelle ?
Speaker 3So good , yeah , yeah , that's good . So you guys , you know this journey of caring for the community , specifically caring for . You know , our culture and black and brown people , but also people in general , seeing people whole , seeing people well , taking care of themselves , soul well , spiritually , well . You know where did that come from and then how did that lead to what you're doing now . Can you talk about that journey and then share a little bit more about the Courageous Healing story and the work that you're doing in our community ?
From Southeast Fort Wayne to Courageous Healing
Speaker 1Sure . So I'll say a little bit about us as individuals and then you can maybe just tell how we shifted into this work . I don't even know what to call it , because when people say , what do you do for a living , I have no idea Whatever God tells us to do at that day and time . It looks very different every day , but as individuals I feel like growing up in the Southeast community and you know there's these things that you see and observe when you are . First of all , let me start by saying Southeast was a very vibrant , thriving place to live at the time that we were coming up .
Speaker 1We were very proud of living in that community . I mean still are extremely proud of living , maybe more proud now than ever , but there were lots of rich cultural things that could only be found within the Southeast community , even , like you know , southtown Mall , things like that , like it was just all these different community staples very thriving , like a thriving area . We were there during the time where we watched some of the declines take place and what happened to the community , both the community as a whole , but also how that impacted individual families . And I think , to grow up during that time and to watch that happen , you see these things and you develop these deeply rooted questions and I think , like we were also all going to schools that challenged our thinking how will you solve these problems ?
Speaker 1You know , thinking outside of the box and being able to learn about and be a part of community . You feel a responsibility to do something . You feel a responsibility to do something and so , I think , just trying to gain a better understanding of why some of these things are being done these ways within family dynamics . But it's not really working well for anyone . You know , why are there so many broken families ? Why are we seeing , you know , people struggling financially ? Why are we seeing , you know , increases in rates of crime ? Why are we starting to see increases in drug use and drug sales and these declines that go along alongside those things , right , um , and just being curious about them and thinking creatively about you know , how those issues could be solved . I remember that was probably the first time I kind of heard God whisper . I don't know if he was whispering to me at that point . He was . He was whispering to me at that point he was .
Speaker 3He was whispering to me at that point .
Speaker 1But that's the first time I remember thinking like there has to be a better way , like there has to be some solutions that we can think through , and I think that curiosity for myself , but also , like Aaron's , passion for just serving and helping others are those things that kind of drove us both to pursue fields His was called law and society , his degree , mine , I did criminal justice and social work . So we actually had the same majors , named different things , um , and then ended up eventually both doing mental health . I did mental health , he did social work . Um , for our master's degrees separately , separate universities didn't know each other , just those same . We have a lot of that in common . I think that's what you've seen .
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 2And I would say you know , regarding being involved in the community , we've probably worked in every sector that you can imagine , from nonprofits to the church , to the schools , to corporate America , trying to find ways to serve and better our community . We're very passionate about filling the gaps . First of all , finding the gaps , realizing and understanding what the gaps are , based on the priorities of our community , and then figuring out innovative ways to solve those gaps . So Courageous Healing to dive into that , I would say , was born out of necessity of filling a gap for broken families .
Speaker 2But it was nurtured through obedience , right . That's good Because we were filling gaps that we knew needed to be filled because we were seeing so many people broken , so many people trying to heal and wanting to heal , dealing with different traumas because of life circumstances , and us trying to meet them where they were while we were working full-time in corporate America , janelle doing sessions on the side every now and then , us trying to meet them where they were while we were working full time in corporate America , janelle doing sessions on the side every now and then , me taking phone calls helping CEOs and individuals trying to figure out certain ways to handle situations wasn't necessarily the best way to go about it . So , as you know , mentioned guy kind of was like you know , are you guys going to do this full time , right ? So it went from something that was we were kind of pursuing on the side here and there to when COVID happened and George Floyd happened . It became something that the demand increased tenfold fully pursued us .
Speaker 1I remember there was literally one day when our kids were doing virtual school and we were at home working from home , and I just remember there was one day where our phone was literally ringing off the hook . I was walking around the house in one direction registering a potential client .
Speaker 1He was walking around the house in another direction , talking a leader of an organization through if he needed to put out a statement to address racial and cultural issues . Why did he need to put out a statement ? What did it need to say ? Why do his employees of color think that he needs to do this ? How does he help make you know , make everybody feel comfortable and support his team without offending anyone ? You know what I'm saying . Like just walking somebody through that and I remember us looking at each other and I just was like what are we going to do ?
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1Like we got a little one on the computer , we had another little one that was just barely able to talk , and it was just like are we going to jump ? It's time .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 1Like it's pursuing us . We can't keep up .
Speaker 3Yeah , that's right yeah .
Speaker 1And we very fearfully , but not so fearful that we didn't move our feet- jumped yeah . Right , because it wasn't one of us . It was both of us at the same time . So to think about you and your spouse walking away from very stable careers where you are making an impact with the hope of making a deeper impact .
Speaker 3Do you get what I'm saying ? But ?
Speaker 1you're walking away from the stability . To do it , it was terrifying .
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah , yeah . You know there's so many folks . We were going to get to this , but it's here now , like there's so many folks ?
Speaker 3No , it's good Like that . We hear the voice of the Lord and you guys are faith rooted and I know that and our listeners should know that Faith rooted , pursue the Lord , pursue the Lord , listen to the Holy Spirit , have these really unique spiritual gifts that I know about you individually and collectively . But you heard this thing and not only were you hearing it and sensing it , but then it was hitting you in the face and a lot of people in our different journeys say , all right , I'm hearing , I'm sensing it , I'm experiencing this thing , but my human side has me fearful to take the jump , like what have you got ?
Speaker 3What did you learn in that process of saying I hear it , it's happening , and God , I still have , we're going to take this jump . Uh , we have a friend that we know uh , ct are his initials right ? And he's he's done that , he's led a ministry , let it faithfully , nothing went wrong . And he's saying I'm hearing something , I'm sensing it , I'm just going to jump . There's , there's so many folks that are I would love to take the credit .
Speaker 1I would love for Aaron to be able to take the credit . But quite honestly , I just think that God is so gentle with us in the way that he is with us and he knows us Right , so he knows how we to something it doesn't feel like a promotion .
Speaker 1It feels like devastation , right . It feels like loss , like it's almost like for us . We heard him and we knew that we needed to move our feet . We didn't know where to start and we probably would have taken our time in doing it , but we were put in position where we had to do it . It was like you're really going to be about what you say you're about or you're not Right . And so he knew the fear . He knew what was at risk , right , he also had been doing this dance
Taking the Leap of Faith
Speaker 1. It was a dance that we had been doing with him for a while of .
Speaker 1He would tell us to do something small and see if we acted , if we were obedient . Do you walk in obedience in the small things ? Before he ever presented an opportunity of potential obedience in something larger , right . And so if someone said recently , how you handle one thing is how you handle everything , right . So if we don't honor him and walk in obedience in these little things , what would show that we could be trusted with the big thing ? You know , and I think , like it's a muscle that he built in us over time , this dance of obedience . Listen to me when I whisper the first time .
Speaker 1Right Because that's not where it starts . He whispers the first time . We like do we hear something you know ? And then he whispered again Like is that is that ? Is that you Lord ?
Speaker 2And we have to remember that delayed obedience is still disobedience right .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 2So , for us , this dance that we were on and we were wrestling back and forth for years , honestly , as we were developing new , innovative ways to meet the community where they were , we had danced back and forth with the idea .
Speaker 1We were trying to do it safe Of doing creative healing . We knew that the needs needed to be met , but how do we do it safely ?
Speaker 2Yeah , but then we had to come to the realization , as Janelle mentioned , like we need to take these steps of obedience and know that we can trust God in them , right , because his love language is obedience . So for us we were like , hey , if we're going to be obedient , we need to be fully obedient . Yeah , not not halfway in . So we took the leap , um , and we actually got a text message today , um , from a friend of ours that that congratulated us for celebrating four years of opening our brick and mortar facility . And it seems like it's been we didn't know .
Speaker 1Yeah , it seems like it's been . You can be so busy just every day doing the work . We didn't know it was our four year anniversary of opening the facility .
Speaker 2The facility has been open for four years , but we started courageous healing again back in 2014 . Yeah , so we've been at this thing for a while , but we've been playing it safe .
Speaker 1Before anybody seen it Right . Again , it's the growing , the roots , before anything ever sprouts .
Speaker 2Right , we've been doing the work , yeah .
Speaker 1Right . We've been doing the work for everything that people see and celebrate , which , quite honestly , there's a lot that people don't even know that we have done quietly , for everything that you see , we've done triple times that beneath the surface , that no one knows and no one seen , and we didn't know if anything would manifest . Yeah , you know it was just doing it in faith and obedience , not even knowing why we're doing it .
Speaker 2The great late Eugene Parker rest his soul . He once said to me he was a man of very few words , but when he spoke he was powerful . He said never judge a man's fruit without knowing his labor . That's right . Right , and a lot of times you can look at what courageous healing is now and the things we've been able to do and what you see to the eye now , but no one understands the labor , the sleepless nights , the , the plans that we had to come up with , the late nights of doing payroll and contracts and all the different things that it took to get courageous healing to where it is today .
Speaker 2So I think that you know the reason why it's the four years have flown by and it seems like it's been forever is because , for Janelle and I , we often forget to take time . It's been 11 years , yeah , we often forget to take time to look at what has manifested from the seeds that were planted so long ago .
Speaker 3Yeah , laura , and I have a friend , his name's Eric Swanson . He's a godfather of city movements and bringing God's people together to love its city well and love it together for transformation , and he talks a lot about roots and trunk . Roots and trunk it is really elementary , right , but it's so true to take ourselves back to the roots and trunk and how those things are still nurturing the fruit that we see , the tea leaves , that we see , the new branches that we need to prune and the ones that we need to cut off . It's roots in trunk , a lot of the below the surface things that we have to continue to ground ourselves in . And I think an encouragement to those watching or listening is you know it's , we can't get scared about staying in the roots and watering and watering it takes time .
Speaker 3I have an . I have a neighbor and then I promise I won't make it about me , but I have a neighbor we're looking at our trees in our neighborhood um , big trees all over the place and we're looking at our trees and we're only looking at them cause they mess up the sidewalks . You know they're , they're pretty when you plant them , but they mess up the sidewalks . But he looked at his tree and he goes man , it's big and beautiful . I planted it when we had our daughter and so it's 25 years old and it's like , look at that big , beautiful tree .
Speaker 3And he just started to go back about why he planted it and what he had to do to take care of it . He didn't use an arborist to take care of it , he did it himself and he was talking about it and he nurtures it and he prunes it and it's . Those are the key things I have to focus on and the things that God calls us to , and I also love how you talked about obedience . It's a lot of John 13 and 14 and 15 , as he's talking to his disciples one of the last times he did and saying it's the obedience , if you love me , if you obey my commands and you listen to me and you follow me , the obedience over sacrifice . And there are things that you will sacrifice if you're obedient to me and doing the things that I've asked for you to do .
Speaker 2And I love how you say you know staying connected to the roots , and I think Janelle and I have done a phenomenal job at staying connected to the roots and being , you know , boots on the ground in the community and in the organization as co-founders and leaders of the organization . You know we have an opportunity where we we can sit in our offices and do the high level things ,
Staying Connected to the Roots
Speaker 2but for us , it's important to stay grounded and rooted . So not only are we running the operations of the business , we carry caseloads where we're seeing clients and doing intimate one-on-one sessions and group sessions and all those things in order to stay in tune with what our clients in the community needs , right ? Yeah , I think that it's important as leaders that we never get too far you know or too ahead within the organization that we forget to .
Speaker 2To see what the to see what's happening at the ground level Right , how do you stay attuned ?
Speaker 1to what's happening . Well , staying rooted to the ground level so that when you're speaking about the needs you're you know , know that you're speaking accurately because you're hearing it firsthand . You're not going through someone else telling you or you guessing . You're hearing firsthand from the people that it's impacting the most . So that's one part of it , but I think the other part of it is I never want to be up so high that I'm not accessible .
Speaker 3This is good yeah right and so like .
Speaker 1When we first started doing this work , we knew that the need was mental health services . Right , we knew people needed healing . How can we help people to heal , um , in ways that feel like our way , like , how can we do it in the ways we know and have seen that it needs to be done ? I didn't know part of the calling was disrupting the ways that funding had been being done in our community . I didn't know that part of the call was creating a pathway into the field for black and brown people to become therapists . Pathway into the field for black and brown people to become therapists . Yeah Right , I didn't know that it would be disrupting some of the things that have had good intention as it pertained to healing , but the , the impact and the intent were not aligned Right and so , um , it's so many parts of this that you don't know .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , you don't know if he , if he showed you everything , you wouldn't move because you would be terrified . Right , and so I think , I think we still don't know .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 1I know what we're doing is powerful and I know the way we're doing it is unique , but I don't even think we still know , for years to come , the full impact of the obedience in these years and the years prior . It'll take until then before we realize what you know what has manifested .
Speaker 3It's so good , so good . You know you guys , you know the therapeutic services , the one-on-ones with your team and yourselves , but you know there's there's also been some fruit things that the community recognizes and even people around our state , region and country . There are unique things like I think about with the mamas and taking it to the couch and beyond the mirror for our young ladies , and even the things that you've been able to do with the Arsays and with the Colts , and I want to celebrate those things . Like why are some of those things near to you all's heart from a wellness perspective , from a healing perspective , creating those spaces as well ?
Speaker 2Yeah , I think there are several different things .
Speaker 2One , the first , and foremost we want to make sure we are meeting people where they are right . How do we create spaces where people feel seen , heard , understood and valued right , spaces where they can come and know that they are a priority right ? And we want to make sure we're doing that for women , for men and for for young people , whether boys or girls , right um ? So we , we try to come up with unique , innovative ways , um with our team of of how we can address them and get them to buy in right um . A lot of times , things that we think may be best , you know , may not be the best route um . So we have to go again . As janelle mentioned earlier , we have to go to the people and see what they need , and a lot of them will tell you exactly what they need , and then it's for you to go and implement those things and do it to the best of your ability , obviously around the resources that you have . So we , we , we strive to do that .
Speaker 1As you're saying that . One thing that's coming up for me is and again another point that makes me super proud of the work that we're doing right now that I wasn't aware of the full impact of prior to . Like getting down deep into it . It's like the power of creating a space for our team to operate in the fullness of their gifting .
Speaker 2Authenticity .
Speaker 1Right , because we can talk about our gifts right like you know you're like , you're , incredibly , you have these spiritual gifts . You have all these things but the trust that god put in us to create a space to nurture other people's spiritual gifts .
Speaker 1Right and so like to be able to have access to people who are so talented and so gifted , like our team , and to watch them go through the transition that happens when they first start working for us , because most of them have spoken to us about the transition that takes place where they shift out of who they had to be in corporate America to who they get to be when they have the freedom to show up fully and authentically as themselves . Right , and so it is that that space to culturally exist in the fullness of your identity , without segmenting parts of yourself out in order to fit in .
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1Right and so like . For me , I don't know what to do with that as it pertains to how to help integrate that into corporate America . Right , because the goal isn't to separate things out , but we do have to have a space where people can almost operate like it's an incubator , where you can heal and where you can start to find your authentic self and integrate all those parts that get segmented out and then start walking in that again , because then when you go back out into the community , the power that you're walking in Right , we're reclaiming the collective with the work that we're doing .
Speaker 1We are not the onlys working in different places . Now we are . We're connected . We're connected people . This will be easier for he and I to just do to open a small office somewhere where it's just the two of us seeing clients , but we are reclaiming the collective , the power in all of us moving together is something that's hard to even put into words when you walk into the space . The space is safe , and that's powerful . The environment is is safe . That that says something , right . The people that are there are walking in the fullness of their identity , and that's powerful . Aaron and I are husband and wife working together , and that's powerful , right . All these things that carry power that you didn't even intend for them to carry power , and there's no words
Creating Safe Spaces for Authenticity
Speaker 1that I could say that would paint that picture as beautiful as it is Part of our call is not only to reclaim the collective , but also to represent what healing can look like to represent what ?
Speaker 2marriage and innovative ways and all those different things that we've been able to do .
Speaker 1Being professional . What does it look like to be professional ? What does it ?
Speaker 2look like to represent . What professional I mean . We show up to the office in hoodies and Jordans for again , fully walking in our authentic selves and people embracing that aspect of who we are . Right , we no longer have to operate in our performative selves , we can solely operate in our authentic selves every day . Right ? Janelle often says we used to pride ourselves in being able to code switch . Right , and it's something that we all have to do , depending on what environment we're in . But the beauty of us not having to wake up every day Say what code switching is and not assume that everybody knows code .
Speaker 1Switching is really where different places and different relationships bring out different parts of who you are .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 1They're all parts of who you are .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 1But different people bring that out , like you're different with your pastor than you are with your homeboys . You're different , you know , with your mom than you would be with your physician , you know , and so they're all you . But it brings out different parts of you and some of us have to code switch more than others , depending on cultural groups , depending on gender , depending on all kinds of different things that play a part on all kinds of different things that play a part .
Speaker 1And so , in order for us to get to where we are like , we had to become really good at code switching , to be taken seriously , to learn some of these professional skills to you know corporately , be able to elevate and then learn you know business , getting business connections , learning ways of business , access to resources , is all these things that code switching helped us to do and we were proud . Proud of that , and I'm kind of sad to say how proud I was of that because , like now , I'm super proud that we won't do it .
Speaker 2Yeah , the heaviness of it was was the burden of proof that often existed , right , because we always , we had to constantly prove that we were enough , that we belonged in the room , that all these letters behind our name really meant something . And we do have the education , right , we are as educated as our counterparts are , and in our own spaces again , the spaces that we're trying to create you don't have to be that . All you have to do is be you . Yeah , right , and authentically show up who you are , and that's part of our call .
Speaker 1If I show up my authentic self in any space . Two things right . If you get to know me and you're not of my culture , you really know me .
Speaker 3That's good yeah .
Speaker 1That simple .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 1You don't know the version of me . I think that you would like right that , that's that's different , yeah . It means like if you're going to say you know someone who's black , just saying it plainly , shouldn't you really know someone who's black ?
Speaker 3That's good yeah .
Speaker 1If I need to talk to you about hard things that someone said to my kids as a friend .
Speaker 1I should be able to talk to you about that , if you really know and love me . But if I hold back pieces of that , our friendship only goes so deep , right . And so for me , my commitment to show up fully is because I don't want to check a box , I don't want to ever be put in position where I have to maintain a relationship or a version of myself that's segmented , and if I show up in the fullness of my identity , I now create room and space for other people to be able to do the same thing in our community , because we are really building cross-cultural relationships that are authentic , not just ones that stays . They feel safe , right , because they're at the surface level , right ? No , let's have some depth .
Speaker 3That's right , yeah , and I think it serves your friendships well .
Speaker 3I don't want to be on the other side of things , where , you know , we've built trust with one another , but , as we've built trust , I don't even really fully know you and you don't fully know me .
Speaker 3That's not the type of powerful thing . So I have a couple of questions as we start to wind down , cause you guys have said a couple of things that , um , I feel like even our listeners , the folks that tune in , often would want to grab , and that is you talked about the culture and the environment you created as leaders within your , uh , your , your workspace . Um , and I know that there's leaders out there that want to make an impact in their workspaces so that people can be authentically themselves , um , they can do the best work that they've been called to be , uh , been called to do , by being authentically themselves , with gifts and talents , culturally , gender wise , whatever it may be . How did you go about doing that ? I mean , you shared that . You shared a couple of things , but what are ? I mean , what are some really kind of encouragements that you can give to folks to say this is how you can embolden your team to be themselves , so that you all can make an impact .
Speaker 1So we go to City Church , shout out to our church we love our church .
Speaker 1And it is one of the most beautiful , diverse places we have ever been . We comment on it regularly . Church is great , what Pastor Chris teaches is solid Worship is amazing . But to me , the most beautiful part is when we walk out after church and look in the hallway and there's all these cross-cultural relationships that are so deep and so authentic . And we have been there since the second Sunday since City Church opened and we had this conversation early on . When we first came in , pastor Chris was honest with us about his desire for diversity and he asked us how do I create that type of diverse environment that reflects and represents what heaven will be like ? Right , how do we get that ? And he said what do we need to do ? How do we make create that ? I said you don't .
Speaker 3Yeah , that's right .
Speaker 1You just create a space that is comfortable for all cultural groups and then when people come and they try it , they will like it and feel comfortable and then they will keep coming and they will then also recruit other people who will want , who are looking for a place to be comfortable and safe . Right . So it's the safety , it's the room for authentic presence .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 1It's the not pressuring me , not not using fear based tactics , to you know , to maintain what makes everyone comfortable or the status quo . It's a willingness to have things be challenged or look different or try new things and innovate . It's also walking in the willingness to have cultural conversations . Yeah , that's good and the willingness to have cultural conversations .
Speaker 3Yeah , that's good .
Speaker 1Authentic
Advice to Your Younger Self
Speaker 1cultural conversations and not shy away from things just because it can be scary , because we're looking for a space to know that you can keep it real and that we can keep it real . If you keep it real , I know I can keep it real .
Speaker 2So things like that , and I'll piggyback off of that a little bit keep it real . I know I can keep it real , so things like that , and I'll piggyback off of that a little bit I would say to a leader who's looking to create and sustain that culture and I'll continue with Pastor Chris , since we're talking about City Church as an elder at City Church I often have conversations with Pastor Chris one-on-one , and the thing I tell him is the church is only going to be as authentic as you are as a leader . You must show up , as you must show up authentic right , you have to fully be yourself and people have to know that you know your transparency and your vulnerability , welcomes their transparency and their vulnerability .
Speaker 2So there are times where you have to be vulnerable on stage and share your truth right , which ultimately gets other people willing to share their truth . So , and I think he's done a phenomenal job at balancing being a leader and shepherding the church and also being human .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 2Right . I think as leaders , we have to focus on being human . Oftentimes we try to be all things to all people and be the one who put out all the fires , but we forget that we're human and we have to be human and be vulnerable in that .
Speaker 1That's right , and making sure that your leadership reflects diversity .
Speaker 3Yeah .
Speaker 1Right and that they have the ability and the and the authenticity , the room for authenticity , to show up fully and to give feedback if a correction needs to be made . If we're getting something wrong , that might hit wrong culturally , wouldn't you want to know ?
Speaker 3that .
Speaker 1Right and so integrating in , like different perspectives and ways of viewing things , different areas to think through and be sensitive , places to be sensitive .
Speaker 3Yeah , I love that . So , sir , I'm picking it up , I want to say it again for folks , creating those spaces of safety , spaces of authenticity , spaces where someone can come in from a different generation , different ethnic background , different cultural backgrounds , and bring them their full selves , so that they're not scared to say listen , my experiences of 30 years of work , those matter . Yes , leader , make sure that that person knows that those experiences matter . Make sure that emerging generation , their experiences , their thoughts , they matter . Those are just a couple of things that Erin Janelle was just sharing about creating those sustainable spaces as a leader , but then also , as you hit home , erin , you and your leadership , are you willing to be safe , authentic and share as well ? So , last thing , if you were to think about one thing , one thing that you would go back we're in our 40th year of life because we're the same age .
Speaker 3I know that . So , going on towards 41 , one thing over the 20 years ago , your 20 year old self , about leadership or life . What would you say to the 20 year old Janelle , 20 year old Erin , 20 years ago ?
Speaker 2I think . For me it's easy because I've been on this journey , as I mentioned early on my identity journey , and I'll be 40 actually in a few weeks here .
Speaker 2So I'm on the younger I'll be 40 here in a few weeks and I would just tell my younger self you are enough . I know we talked about authenticity a lot here , and so much of my younger years were lived in performative mode through sports and trying to figure out what it means to be a man and a black man , in my community as well as in this world , and I spent a lot of time chasing affirmation for the wrong reasons to fill a void that I had in my own life through traumas . But I would just go back and tell myself you are enough , exactly who you are and how you are , and it's OK for you to show up in that . Skip Right , yeah , and I would just walk in that the power of that .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's powerful , that's good , that's good that , yeah , that's powerful , that's good , that's good . Um , I think there's so few things that I have regrets about and I'm being completely honest about that . I would probably say do it all again come on now . Yeah , that's good um , and and and . Do it all again and enjoy it more .
Speaker 2Enjoy more .
Speaker 1That's good . Be fully present in it . Take it all in . Your rest is worship . Your joy is the resistance right , instead of focusing on rebellion or trying to fight joy . Experience joy to the full . That's so good , right . And don't be afraid of loving hard . And don't be fearful of being hurt . Don't be fearful of disappointment . Don't be fearful of what if this doesn't work out . Just do it all again and just love every single second of it .
Speaker 3That's good . Yeah , that's so good . We got some emerging gen that listen to this and we love to ask that question because I think it's an encouragement for leaders that are emerging and people that are coming up . So , yeah , it's so good , my friends , 40 minutes goes by fast .
Speaker 1It does . It does Just like 40 years . Yeah , it's just like , oh Lord , it does .
Speaker 3Man , it's so good to be in relationship with you , to do life with you , be in this community with you all . Thank you for all that you're doing in our community for people and in partnership with the church of our community . We really appreciate you joining us and folks , if you are tuned in . I hope you enjoyed it . I always say this If you listen , go back , rewind it , pause it in specific moments , take your notes , write it down , implement it into your life and I hope that you will join us for the next Love Fort Wayne podcast . Thank you for tuning in .
