Ever wondered why changing your thought patterns makes a difference? Or why people are so obsessed with "positive" thinking? Maybe you've even dared to imagine you have the power to rewire your brain, just by believing you do.
Turns out, you can!
In this episode, I talk to the Neuro Handyman (and my uncle), Michael Thompson all about self-awareness and our brains. In his thesis, the Neuroscience of Purpose, Michael explores how the voices in your head reveal the neural pathways you've created, and what you can do to change them.
Through sharing his story and research, you can begin to understand why it's important to remember you are not your thoughts. Your brain is a magnificent tool you use to experience and navigate the world. And, like all tools, when it's being used improperly, it causes a lot of damage.
The goods news? All this self-awareness bullshit is working! It's literally helping you create change, experience yourself and the world differently, and getting you closer to that elusive authentic self you're seeking.
Listen to this episode to learn how your thoughts truly do create your reality and that the power to change is all yours.
Speaker 1:0:23Hello and welcome to self aware Millennial. The podcast for people seeking joyously authentic life. I'm your host live Hadyn. And today we're going to talk about the neuroscience of purpose for today's episode I actually interviewed my uncle Michael Thompson. And I'm just going to read you a little bit about what he says about himself.
Speaker 2:0:44And then we'll get right into the interview. He says I am a seeker. I seek for my truth and a life that brings me meaning fulfillment peace and freedom freedom from limiting thoughts and beliefs that get in the way of being authentic. I have been able to make connections with neuroscience and epigenetics and my life experiences to forge ahead and make sense of my past to create a future by living in the present. My goal with my work is to share my stories and what I have learned to help others create a life worth living. I'm actually really excited about this conversation one because he's family and two because what he talks about is actually really interesting. I always really enjoy hearing how all of this work that we're doing that can kind of feel like it's not real or tangible actually is creating a difference in your body in your world out in the ways that you're being. This is actually doing something and he kind of explains a little bit about that and shares his own unique story. So please enjoy my interview with my uncle Mike and his discussion of the neuroscience of purpose.
Speaker 3:1:51Hi Uncle Mike.
Speaker 4:1:52Thank you so much for joining me today to talk to all the Sam listeners more about how our brains actually work and how we build those neural pathways and how that relates to self-awareness through sharing your story which I'm so excited to be able to do with you. So whenever you're ready just go ahead and share your journey.
Speaker 5:2:12All right. I'm here to go to my journey.
Speaker 6:2:18A little bit convoluted but I'll start with the voices that I Hossan refer to in the. I'm becoming more self aware of the typically refer to them in my writing and when I'm doing presentations to my multiple knees. Now what I mean by that. Are we each moment of our lives. We different person from the previous moment and those iterations of us are recorded biologically in our neural pathways in our brains.
Speaker 7:2:54Some of neural pathways are powerful and are present.
Speaker 8:3:01You and me come in contact with it know every single day. Other ones are just in the background and are inconsequential.
Speaker 9:3:11The ones I want to talk to you about are the ones that I would consider the voices in my head.
Speaker 6:3:19So one particular voice that I dealt with or actually didn't deal with because it was in my subconscious and my unconscious mind was the voice that was continuously warning me that I wasn't good enough. What I mean by warning that it mean that the voice when I actually became aware of it and was able to idly and not have a conversation with it was going to sound funny Navy was doing its best to protect me and to the beginning or end the development of this voice came from highschool further research and doing with my thesis work for my master's degree which is titled At this point my thesis title at this point is the neuroscience of purpose creating a life worth living is trying to utilize the neuroscience work that a lot of really great people are doing you know their making connections.
Speaker 10:4:28In my own real life to figure out you know what I really want to do in these voices.
Speaker 5:4:34You know about four years ago I realized we're in the way so I will had my first girlfriend period of which a lot of us do. Now the story isn't. A lot of people it's very common and I found you know after going out for maybe a year.
Speaker 10:4:56You know she cheated on me and was lying to me. I felt betrayed and ashamed and embarrassed and guilty and frustrated and angry. And all these other low vibrational feelings that we all feel alone can allow that difference.
Speaker 9:5:11So for me with that I wasn't able to let it go and where it's me and I let it go. I mean the feelings that are attached to that experience in my romantically. The more time we spend thinking about and in my case and brooding over four years of the leaving the fact pattern that I wasn't good enough and that people will eventually leave and find out I was a fraud or get sick and tired of being around me or the good things in my life wouldn't last for very long because of my proven life experience that I wasn't meant to have a wife like that which now just sounds a little bit silly.
Speaker 5:6:01From my point of view from speaking of myself and also pretty sad that I spent that much time being you know all that far apart that thought pattern. So as far as neuroscientists concerned of what I know now all that great stuff people have been doing and researching is that the more time you spend in this that this is not new that this is the whole point.
Speaker 9:6:30This information is out there for everybody. The more time you spend on something the better you get at it or the more people it can become for you. So whether it's you know playing a sport or a musical instrument or or you know meditating and we're being helpful. It didn't matter what it is. The more you do it and think about it and spend time on it the more complex and diverse and integrated that neural pathways becomes into your brain which then in turn becomes you.
Speaker 6:7:08So spending forty years believing that wasn't good enough. And in the places that I refer to in my head are actually just I think this is true for all of us. They aren't really a boy they are a bit emotional remembering of an event.
Speaker 11:7:27And you we catch you know words and feelings and thoughts to those and that's what the voice really is as far as I can. And if it is true which I believe it is that we'd biologically assimilate our experiences into our neural pathways then why can't we change them and the fact is we can and our brains are built for adaptation. Our brains are built to wire and rewire to experience into intention and that was an enormous self-aware leap. I guess you could say that a proper sentence. I don't think those think that the awareness that if I don't have to actually think that way it is actually who I am. It's simply a neural pathway that has been wired into so many different parts of my brain that it seems real because it exists everywhere for me makes sense it does.
Speaker 12:8:51And it's really got it's got me going my brain to school. There's a lot to unpack here. Yeah yeah. So I'm actually wondering because I think one of the first things that came to me was just how this thing happened to you in high school and it took you a long time to recognize that you were still carrying that around.
Speaker 3:9:13And I'm wondering now looking back what are the ways that that was manifesting that story and that trauma how is that manifesting for you up until the point that you started doing work on it.
Speaker 13:9:27That is a great question.
Speaker 6:9:29And you know the funny thing is and I don't mean funny laughable maybe a little bit is that for the people that knew me really well other than my family which is where I'll get to because that's where it really showed up. Would not believe my story and in reality a lot some of my friends came to my presentation and I differ from my thesis work and more afterwards like what are you talking about. And the reason I say this is because from the outside it looks like there was anything really going on. You know I was four daughters. I had a teaching career I was coaching sport. I was coaching my daughter sport. I was I ended up starting and running a construction company that looks successful I was doing a lot of great things from the outside that everybody else in the world would think hey look at that guy get his shit together he is all right and he doing it and running in the background of this program.
Speaker 6:10:28And he used the word program because I'd leave the structure or hardware of our brain the actual physical matter can be modified and changed by our subconscious and through reprogramming how our brain is wired together. So the programming was always in the background and had with it a pretty powerful message that you know you know keep it you keep going if it's not going to work you know maybe that's why had so many different jobs Naeemi had changed jobs over jobs that you know because I thought I better get out. Now all goes well so good or poor it was just getting to the point where I felt like I wasn't good enough anymore so I moved to something else and then try something new.
Speaker 14:11:25And I could been part of it but for the most part it in the way I believe of my ability to be the best dad and husband to my wife that I was capable of. And you know it would it would show up sometimes.
Speaker 6:11:50And solicited or warrantied like anger where things would trigger my my belief that I wasn't good enough and so I get angry because I didn't want to feel sad or embarrassed or ashamed about it so anger is what would present itself. And I believe that might be good my family was is not was is so emotionally close and vulnerable for me that the triggers were easier it was easier for the triggers to affect me. And so about age forty six I would say I had I had maybe what other people might consider a mild attack but for me it didn't seem mild. And I kind of short circuited a little bit. I think I'd reached the point where I just told my SO I can't think this way anymore I can't I can't keep living my life in this way in this direction and so something's gotta give. And so I literally gave up and I stopped fighting. You know the voices in my head were. I was constantly trying to fix be quiet one stop talking with me alone what's the problem.
Speaker 14:13:17And I think part of the self-aware moment came for me when I just said OK I'm done. I can't keep thinking about feelings this anymore.
Speaker 8:13:30What is your problem. Ripper's Same Louis same. And I didn't know I was even talking to him to find out with me.
Speaker 14:13:41And it was me. It was this really powerful 17 year old me that was had built this armor carrying a shield in this big wall around me as best they could to protect me.
Speaker 6:13:53So I never felt the way it felt back in a school. Believe me and I was so that was almost knows probably you know 35 years after the fact.
Speaker 14:14:07Thirty three years after the fact I think that I will be able that that voice that person Matt neural pathway was in the background dictating and I don't really mean that influencing my decisions about how to be the best meal that I could be that is my biggest self-aware moment at this point in my life for sure.
Speaker 12:14:35So you've touched on two really gorgeous things that I want to circle back to one about that surrender moment that you had and then to just kind of recognize the separation between who you are and the your brain and how your brain's a tool and not you. But before we touch on those I kind of want to go back and I'm wondering if you have recognized some of those thought patterns like how was the not enough story getting justified in your mind so that you were making your responses or your anger okay and reasonable cause you know you have an outburst and if you're not aware of why you're having it you have a train of thought that's basically putting making it okay for you to have reacted in that way. I'm just wondering what was going on in your mind when those things were happening that was kind of masking that not enough story.
Speaker 11:15:31Very another very insightful question.
Speaker 8:15:34So I honestly could be wrong with this descry actually thought and believed fully that my angry about if I could rationalize in some way that was who could trick my consciousness into believing my angry outbursts were OK. I think I'd still be doing it. I actually believe that there was something deeper inside. Now when you differentiate between the brain as a tool and who I really am who I really am which is I think shared by all and by all living thing on this planet the energy the enemy to us whatever we want to call it doesn't know whatever he wants.
Speaker 15:16:20That piece of me was I shouldn't say that piece of me that me wasn't okay with it and had such a hard time rationalizing that each and every time so each and every time that I would do that the first thing that would happen would be remorse and sadness or regret or guilt or shame or embarrassment because I didn't want to be that I didn't want to behave that way. I didn't want that to be who I was. In that same exact moment of paradoxes it proved to me that that is who I was. I make them bigger. I was able to say clearly I am not good enough because look what I just did.
Speaker 8:17:06I can't even you know I can't even separate that behaviour from a 4 year old kid into simply that's what a 4 year old kid does into some sort of personal attack or near the parent which is which rationally when I could stop and think about it was painful because at that isn't that wasn't who I wanted to be. That was why deep down unconsciously and self-aware knew that I was. And it is that exact paradox the paradox of behaving in a way I didn't really want to behave in that behavior proving that that must be who I am. If those two that that fight that clash part of a negative if you will even is what woke me up.
Speaker 16:18:08Then make them good.
Speaker 12:18:10Yeah. Yeah that makes a lot of sense to me and I don't know that resonates for me. Just on on my journey through self awareness as well. And those things kind of coming to a head so I am I'm kind of wanting to move a little bit more into that surrendering piece that you mentioned where you just you got too tired to keep the fight up and you just kind of let it let it end. You ask what's the problem. I'm wondering if you can kind of elaborate on what came from that and how that felt and how that was so different from what was happening before.
Speaker 18:18:46So when I think of that moment the first thing that comes to my mind is freedom and it seems counterintuitive to think that by surrendering you think of surrendering more in terms of war and this crazy battle and everything and that's exactly what was going on inside my biology.
Speaker 17:19:09What actually happened was by me surrendering.
Speaker 19:19:12There was no fight left it difficult try some fight and have a fight with nobody because when I saw you last year you know me enough I've done that before I did today. I did today with the dishwasher.
Speaker 17:19:28But thinking about self-awareness and who you are. That surrender to me was more or less me giving up and being actually just more curious. I think anyone would upset like giving up at a time when I stopped fighting the voices in my head had nobody a holler anymore. And they were quiet and I hadn't been like that as far as I can remember up to that point ever where they were just there was nothing and that were the freedom and the peace and this weird feeling of rage so the voices aren't screaming at me. So are they actually me. Is that who I am. What's going on here. And then when I was able to and I've been to multiple different occasions over the speci then for over a few months after that all surrendering thing happened I was able to enquire and look at where they were coming from and even more specifically for me where they started and when I could do that.
Speaker 17:20:50You know I actually remember I needed the choice to confront the person and I know I don't want to stay confront the wrong word to use. I made the choice to reach out and have an inquiry with the person the woman now. Honestly that was my high school girlfriend and asked her she would be going to talk and the Michael being in the 40s now that I am now. That was a fairly simple matter. I went I found her and then this 20 year old Michael was absolutely nothing to do with it and he was absolutely happy and willing to go and talk to her and this whole thing out from my parents and then I said why. What is your actual issue going on here.
Speaker 18:21:45And he simply said that in end the voice I could do I could picture him and I did. I created a persona for that kid because I can remember it vividly. He was crying and he was just saying Listen man I'm not going to feel like that again. I doing everything I've done for the last 30 something years so that we do not experience that feeling ever again and I was able to reassure him and say listen we're okay look around. We know we've got a great that we were doing okay things were good. Nobody betrayed us. People love us.
Speaker 17:22:21We're moving on things where things are okay just relax and that's and so we did in that voice and that neural pathway which were all the same. As far as I'm concerned sat down and took a breather and I am so much more aware when that neural pathway enters back into my world that it just doesn't have nearly the same kind of control or influence on my decisions. Now moving forward that and because I know that the voices that kept saying that aren't actually who I am I'm I'm wondering now like what's happening if you can answer this.
Speaker 3:23:10What's happening in our brains when we start to make those kinds of conscious decisions and have those conversations with our.
Speaker 17:23:19Right. So do we geek out a little bit with an actual neuroscience.
Speaker 20:23:22Oh please do. OK.
Speaker 21:23:25So there are a number of different things are happening and biologically the term is when neurons fire together they wired together and fire together means is when they start to interact with each other and the way neurons start to interact with each other is that they get stimulated by electricity to our brain cells are all chemical electrical or electrical or chemical and they initiate with glucose that then sends the neuro treatment or chemicals to the next neuron which creates overspill glucose which then sends it to the mix and until someone took it in their are hundreds of hundreds of trillions of possible neural connections. You know there are five three to five hundred billion neurons that make up our brain and each of those neurons can he can connect with one or up to a thousand different neurons so that the actual number of connections that are made as we move and develop and grow in our brain is basically not infinite but the number that can be created in my to say it can always be more.
Speaker 22:24:44So if we have to the same that often is the opposite is also true as Raymond is saying. So when neurons fire together and they and they share an electrical impulse and they share a pathway then the hope ourselves a good deal so that we do everything together jump in action and do whatever they can to speed up the process and bind all those neurons together to flatten that neural pathways when you factor and work better. Now this when we decide to stop using that neural pathway then the neurons Slowey and they don't actually NY really physically unwind themselves they just become less efficient in all the cells that help neurons get better and faster and more communicative move to the other person the brain that are getting more attention and will then help those neural pathways develop and become the ones that we use the most. Something though something that very question everything I do make up going OK so something though I'm trying to find more information about it more of an intuitive connect the leap that I'm making with the people that I've been researching and the stuff I've been reading and using my own self to figure this stuff out is that I believe that really we can read corpus and neural pathway.
Speaker 17:26:22And here's what I mean by I have a very powerful pathway that has developed which the two will not allude to I've talked about already that I'm not good enough. So why can't I then because it's so pervasive in my brain it goes everywhere.
Speaker 19:26:43I mean there are times in my life where I would be I would do something that like I would still water and I would my trigger it amarth enough because water I fight about it so often that it was you had so much health wiring itself into who I am.
Speaker 17:27:01It became part of all my life. So why should I I don't have an answer to this question that's why I'm asking why can't I use that pathway for something different.
Speaker 23:27:12It's so well wired in do I have to abandon it really. Can I just change how I interact with it so I can use that really powerful Wellborn and effective neural pathway to do something different with it. And the reason I think that that answer is true because I actually think that I'm doing it and the way I think that's happening in my life I'm utilising these different emotions and feelings and memories that I have attached for so long with not feeling good enough to be curious about why that might be and then to find the energy in the motivation and then Durant to discover the answer and to then come up with reasons why I think I have good enough. So it's almost like in the superhero world that the the shadow of the is the other side of the coin. I mean it's maybe just because of the dark side of the Moon That's right. And so I think I'm I'm utilising all the different parts of my brain that we're wired together with that I'm not a good enough pathway in I'm able to use it for a different reason that's something that I'm working on trying to figure out if anybody's got any information about them.
Speaker 12:28:38Yeah this is something that I've mentioned multiple times in this podcast and I'm wondering if you've read her book and you heard of Mel Robbins or her books the five second rule No I think you might be really interested and I haven't read the book but I've watched a lot of her her talks and the basic premise of her work is based on like rewiring your brain by yourself and the way that she manifested that was she had pretty severe debilitating anxiety.
Speaker 4:29:10Learned something about oh she also has really intense ATV and so she learned something about in a physical way counting to you know five and then making a different decision and it just clicked with her one day why can't I do this with my thought patterns if I can do this with my physical behaviors you know like when she torpedos through the house and kind of like induced state she can change that. Why can't she change the thought pattern behind it. And she had learned that physiologically when you're experiencing anxiety it is no different than when you're experiencing excitement. And so what have those anxious thoughts and she caught them. She would count she would stop count to five and then create an anchor thought. So instead of saying like oh I'm so nervous and scared to go up on stage and you deliver this talk she would tell herself I'm really excited to be up on stage and deliver this talk. So I'm thinking that that might actually have something to do with what you're talking about and that you absolutely does.
Speaker 24:30:08And the scientist and writer offer that I've been doing a lot of reading about recently is Joe to spend. You heard of him.
Speaker 25:30:20Yes I have.
Speaker 8:30:22OK. It's evolve your brain in breaking the habit of being yourself. He has seemed to be either pioneered all this how to change your brain the thought patterns and so I've been using not only his work then the people that he references to go deeper in and look at the research and everything. And for anybody that interested in more of this he is a great.
Speaker 6:30:49And you can get a little bit nerdy sometimes but if you're early and you and you can skip all that still get an amazing mind information from his books. But Joe despair has been quite a pioneer in this field. So that's why I do believe that it can happen.
Speaker 12:31:06And I'm trying it out with my own self right now yeah that was going to be my follow up question is Hower now that you know kind of in your mind you've started doing this work. How are you actually in the world changing those thought patterns.
Speaker 20:31:26That's the main question you're good at this. Thank you. FLATOW Yeah and you're welcome.
Speaker 24:31:36You know what happens when it happens. If I can and my trying to evade your question. So what I'm what I'm able to do I think is notice more when I've got pattern is trying to know when an old thought pattern is trying to be the lead intruder on the decision or future thought. I don't know I'm more aware of it so I can honestly I can tell you that I laugh more about it than I can kind of sense from enjoying this needed 218 and then what's the greatest about that is that I can say Yeah that definitely I could. If that pattern is going to serve me well in that situation I grab grabbed onto and I go with it. If it's something that's going to get in the way and detract and then I do side note we're not going I'm not going to go there right now going to think differently I'm going to project 10 things differently.
Speaker 13:32:35And so I guess my biggest my biggest roadblock has always been staying in my head.
Speaker 24:32:48And living there and out of my heart. So my goal for the rest of my rest of this life on the planet here is to do the opposite. And I think that's kind of went into one of my purposes is to learn to live from my heart more than from my hand at my head or my heart from my heart to be the captain of the ship so to speak. So being more vulnerable and being more motive and being more authentic and those are the kind of things that I think are more of a guide and it's not easy for me to do it that way for sure. Each time I spend purposely putting myself out in the world in a way that feels to me to be authentic it is scary because what if I'm not good enough. And that's when those voices tend to you know show up more times than not. And that is another reason I think I'm able to use the neural pathways that exists to do something different because that by taking those confronting the feelings am I good enough add on and proving that Robin seems like an interesting challenge I a lot of energy behind motivation for me.
Speaker 12:34:19Something that came up for me when you were talking about being more heart centered because that's something I'm also focusing on. I'm noticing like this recurring pattern of my ear. I have I think everybody has a version of their own not enough story and I'm. When you said you know you throw yourself out there especially when you throw yourself out there authentically that not enough gets triggered like well what if people don't like it and what if I don't do it right. And as I'm working through some of that self forgiveness and self compassion is coming up and I'm wondering you know you're destined to mess up you're just going to mess up it's just part of the deal when you're here. So how're you as you're working on rewiring patterns that have been around for years and years and years and years when you are messing up or tripping up or you're in a calm you know you're in a conversation with know say your wife and an old old thing comes out. How are you dealing with that.
Speaker 13:35:14As far as like the compassion and the forgiveness for self while I go I do a little with every second how my and my being rest actually somebody asked me that question the other day and they said I think I wrote it down today with the testimony kind of like are you actually. Are. Are you actually forgiving of yours. For giving of yourself. And you sound talking to me. And I think that I am not even I am is because I have a deep interest in who I actually am. And I'm not my body. I'm not.
Speaker 24:36:12So are you even say you know you're going to make mistakes. I'm a human being and we were born to school actually when we're born too cute to screw up. So we went to that one which is frustrating to me.
Speaker 18:36:27Why can't we just stay in a blissful state. Why do we have to go through the whole process of being socialized and gendered and then trying to figure out how to fit into a world just to realize that not going to be unwatered all that to find happiness. So frustrating. Anyway that's my personal stuff. So I don't I guess that is definitely something I will continue to work on and think about is the self compassion and self self love aspect and so you know whenever I hear the whole thing you can love anybody you love yourself and be quiet and make any sense and it and it totally makes sense now that I think about it this way because I believe that a part of that is to be loved is the the part of us that Ebru all of us have to and all to share.
Speaker 26:37:25So if I can't love that part of me how can I love that part of angry or because the same thing.
Speaker 27:37:31And that and that intellectualization of what I just read this sentence and the.
Speaker 26:37:37And then the dark felt kind of moving forward with that being that way my life is the gap that I continue to struggle with and try to figure out what I know and I believe that to be true. But I have for so long not practiced it and had this wall that I've set up around my heart that to protect it which didn't work actually while it doesn't work for anybody. It's not it that is going to be the next big pull from people who are in that income too.
Speaker 3:38:17As you're dismantling that wall what are you finding coming and when is making space for yeah that that is where a lot of money.
Speaker 26:38:27If I were to have anxiety and apprehension that's where it is because here's here's what I've discovered about the wall or the armor or whatever you are where your visibility cloak that you want to call it. Yeah. My belief was that the wall was keeping everything out and in reality when I realized was it was just being everything in the wall was it one way here at the Bataclan where all the pain and the embarrassment and the shame and the guilt in it simply then just punched me in the face. Downtimes because he wasn't able to get back out again in so what I'm finding is it I'm learning that if I really truly want to heal all the high vibrational emotions like love and gratitude and hope and joy and the things that go along with that and I have to also at the same time be willing to feel the pain that's associated with the paradox everything because everything has driven up that part and cold up and down and all those things can exist not the other. So if I'm going or if I want to feel extreme joy and happiness then I have to be willing to potentially feel the opposite. And I think for so long I was unwilling to steal that. It also meant and I was not going to feel the good stuff.
Speaker 16:40:06And so dismantling that wall led to good stuff in that I had to fight the urge knowing that around the corner could be something not so good to put the wall back up and just kind of go through life fear to make instead of feeling great.
Speaker 3:40:29I think that's a really great distinction. I have a little bit more time left and I really do want to touch on the epigenetics piece of your work. So my first question is can you explain what epigenetics is and then how does that come into play with all of this other stuff we've been talking about.
Speaker 24:40:48Yeah because the play started that first because to my mind it comes into play with what you said for that.
Speaker 21:40:55You it sounds like we all have some sort of not good enough story that that we have attached to some part of our lives. That's where I think genetics comes in.
Speaker 22:41:05And epigenetics are exploding and if MS will be very I mean I'm I'm a newbie I'm a junkie and you have the genetic world blame not inhabited. If is not have a degree and I'm just hyper curious and insatiably researching things and I just find intriguing is epigenetics is one of them. Epigenetics are considered a gene expression.
Speaker 27:41:35And what I mean by that or what that does mean is that the way the genetic code was written in your double helix DNA Spyro is set to be one way. And on the outside of the double helix there are markers and they are either engaged or disengaged in a pattern that is based upon our experiences and our perception of the experiences in the world. So our DNA actually shifts the way the DNA is expressed shift and changes depending on experience and on our perception of that experience which to me is so intriguing and the part of that that I think is biological is the survival of the species part and that our DNA and the expression of the DNA itself can change through our lifetime. It does Gene throughout our lifetime depending on for instance with go way back in the world depending on if there's enough water depending on if you're in a place where you have enough food or if you have enough shelter on your body and your DNA will shift and change to adapt to the situation that you are in at the moment.
Speaker 21:43:05And if if that exists is the difference or the adaptation that's not enough then it can become written into your DNA code which then gets passed down into other generations at the very simple way of saying it but it changes the shift. So first for instance I have four daughters so I was 25 when our first daughter I was 30 with her life.
Speaker 28:43:30So the DNA the epigenetic pieces of my DNA got passed to my two different daughters depending on my life. The time is different. And so here's where the not good enough story comes in. Not good enough story was really powerful for me. I was aware of it. I was unconscious of it. It was I believe was pretty powerfully expressed in my DNA. And so I had a conversation with oh my girl and I said Liz there's there might be some underlying feelings in your life that have to do with what you were doing this is surely not good enough and they may not be yours and that feeling in that narrow pathway or that kind of genetic coding might trigger you to feel that way.
Speaker 29:44:23And I want you to know first of all that I'm sorry it wasn't my intent and that you don't have to keep it. And so when I when I first thought of all my life if I could have been more aware as a parent and more a more conscious of these parts of me then maybe my kid would have not maybe my kids would have had a different set of instruction manuals for their basic neural pathways in their bodies to start maybe at a better place to become more of who they're going to become without as much struggle and a struggle and the art of finding out who you are. So that made me feel that they called me and I screwed up again. Here I am I screw up again. Even my epigenetic markers are also up and let it go. I've got my feeling of unworthiness and then I realized epigenetics is a lifelong thing. So if I can have a conversation educate them and teach them now I can I can actually influence their epigenetic DNA and then markers on their double helix. Now even after they're already human being so that they can change it they are moving forward if they choose to immediate unlimited possibilities.
Speaker 12:45:44You know yeah I actually think that's really powerful because I think historically there's been a rhetoric in our society of there being guilt and shame in focusing on self especially as a parent.
Speaker 3:46:00And I want to say even more so as a mother that if you are focusing on yourself spending time in yourself not constantly giving giving giving giving to your children then you're somehow bad or not doing it correctly.
Speaker 12:46:12But what you actually presented almost is the exact opposite that if you're not spending the time on your self you're screwing everything up for your kid.
Speaker 30:46:22You don't and it.
Speaker 19:46:26All hope is not lost.
Speaker 18:46:29So the other piece of that is when we start I think I had this conversation with somebody the other day.
Speaker 23:46:35You know the typical kind of ignorant unaware from my personal point of view about the whole millennial generation of being selfish and not caring about other people and only thinking about themselves. This person was talking I said Listen I said you get that that is what has to happen early in our lives first. That's kind of my research.
Speaker 18:46:59My research is how do we find a life that we think is worth living how we find our passion how do we discover what it is that we want to be on this planet doing that actually makes our lives feel like it's worth living and and to not end.
Speaker 29:47:17I don't know. I'm often confused what I'm saying right now but to feel like balance I get what I'm trying to balance the absolute need and desire to figure ourselves out and then put that person into the world to do the good things we're going to do. I think the difference is a paradigm shift in a different way to think about it.
Speaker 25:47:40And at the same time I think it's going toward thank you for saying that this is a very appropriate audience to say that to you. Great. Well thank you so much for your time. I'm definitely feeling compelled to interview you again because I really only kind of like surface scratch of the stuff you know.
Speaker 31:48:01But it was beautiful and thank you for sharing your welcome whenever you like.
Speaker 32:48:10Thank you so much for tuning and and for being a Sam listener. It means the absolute world to me. If you enjoyed this episode or any other episode please wherever you listen subscribe rate review whatever's available to you. Please do that it helps the show a lot. It's an easy and quick way to support the content that you love.
Speaker 2:48:29Until next week. I love you and I like you.