Transform Your Inner Critic into Your Greatest Ally

Get ready to dive into one of the most fascinating topics, the inner critic - that little chatterbox in your head that sometimes isn't the nicest. 

In this episode, I'm peeling back the layers to reveal how this inner voice, often dubbed the inner critic (or some not-so-nice names), is seriously misunderstood. 

Here's the thing; this internal chatter isn't just background noise, it's a powerful tool for self-discovery. When we understand it, it becomes our biggest ally, shedding light on our limitations.

We'll go into the roots of this voice, tucked away in our unconscious mind, which is directing a whopping 95% of our actions and thoughts - our beliefs, values, and memories are all connected to this inner dialogue.

I also speak about the law of polarity and how it's linked to our inner voice. 

Whilst you may want to shut that voice down, rejecting our inner voice is like rejecting a part of ourselves. 

I touch on why it's crucial to embrace and integrate this voice for the sake of self-acceptance and alignment. 

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Transcript

Sian 0:25

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Vibrant Mind Vibrant Life podcast. My name is Sian Hill. I am your host and trainer of NLP, timeline therapy, hypnotherapy, and coaching. So all things mindset. And today's episode is all about the Inner Critic. Now, this podcast was inspired off the back of some posts that I've seen recently, some conversations that I've overheard about the Inner Critic, or what can often be referred to as like the, the Inner Bitch. The, the nasty me, the little old voice in my head that's not very nice. So I want to take a bit of a dive into that because that voice, although we can be quite negative towards it, is actually our biggest ally. It's our biggest friend and it's a source of information when we learn how to work with it. And being negative towards it can actually be to our detriment. So I want to dive into what that voice is, what it's telling us, and how we can begin to work with it to support us in achieving the things that we want. Now, before I dive into the episode, if you haven't yet, head to the link in the show notes so you can get hold of my free masterclass, which is an introduction to NLP and timeline therapy. During the masterclass, you'll learn all about how it is that we perceive the world in the way that we do. Where do our thoughts come from? How can we begin to change them? How we unknowingly self sabotage, um, how limiting beliefs are created and what you can do to begin to make positive changes plus how to become an accredited coach. So if that sounds interesting, head to the show notes and you'll be given instant access to the replay. And something exciting to announce, if you want to join me in person, I'm in the process of organizing a one day in person live event, Master Your Mind. So it's an NLP and timeline therapy discovery day, which I'll be holding in Bromsgrove in April. So I'm in the process of finalizing the details. If that sounds like something you want to get involved in, then head over to Instagram and drop me a DM to let me know, or drop me an email, get in contact, and I'll make sure that you're the first to know once those details are in the diary. Now, on to today's episode. So first of all then, what is that inner voice? What is the voice in our head, the self talk that we have, that can often feel like it's just running on autopilot, it's running on repeat? That inner voice is our unconscious mind. Our unconscious mind is responsible for about 95 percent of what we do, and it happens automatically. This is why it can feel like our thoughts are literally thinking us, because they happen on autopilot. So the thoughts that we have, they don't just come from nowhere. They are a result of the beliefs that we hold. Our personality, our values, our memories, the things that make us uniquely us, that give us our own unique perspective of this world, are what lead to the thoughts that we create, they are how we filter the world around us, and then create our own perception of this thing called reality. So our thoughts don't just happen. Now the reason this is important is because those thoughts that you have in your mind, that voice that is maybe telling you that you can't do something or you're doubting yourself or telling yourself that you've done stupid or bad or wrong or whatever it might That that voice is letting you know what limitations you have. What is it that's preventing you from actually moving forward? What is it that's keeping you stuck? What is it that's holding you in a place where you're playing small, where you're maybe not shining your light and doing what it is that you actually want to do in this world? Having that self belief. Going for your goals. Pursuing those dreams. So that voice is giving us information about why it is that we see the world in the way that we do. It's like a little messenger letting us know here's what's limiting you. Here's what's preventing you from having what you want. Here's what's serving you. Here's what's supporting you. So it's acting as a messenger to let us know where we currently are right now so that we can decide, hey, is this what I want or is it not? Now, think of your unconscious mind like a five year old child. We are telling our unconscious mind, This is what I want to get. This is the goal. This is what I'm going to achieve in my life. And then our unconscious mind is saying, Oh, who are you kidding? What do you want about, you'll never do that. Now, whilst that may seem like a negative thing, what it's actually doing is bringing into our awareness, it's almost trying to get our attention to say, hey, this isn't going to work and this is the reason why. This is the thing that is going to get in the way of that thing that you say that you want. So it's literally shouting to us, like, Yoo hoo, listen to me, I'm telling you, this is why it isn't gonna work. So it's actually there to serve us. Because we can pretend these things don't exist. We can brush them to one side and say, I'm not, I'm gonna choose to ignore that. But remember, the unconscious mind is responsible for 95 percent of what we do. So using the 5 percent of the mind, the conscious mind, to say no, I am not listening, to the other 95 percent is setting you up to make the journey really frickin hard. So although it's usually well intended, when you call that voice in your head, that inner voice, an inner critic, a bitch, whatever label you want to give to it, it's essentially shutting it down. Telling your unconscious mind it's wrong, ignoring the messages that it's bringing to your awareness for you to resolve, to resolve whatever the block is so that you can move forward, really move forward and have that voice in your head in alignment telling you that you absolutely can do this. So, whilst the intention is good, it doesn't always have the desired result. Now the other thing that I want to talk about is how this relates to the universal law of polarity. Now the universal law of polarity states that for everything that exists, it's polar opposite exists as well. So for light, there's dark. For hot, there's cold. For, uh, abundance, financial abundance, there's financial poverty. So there's always the equal opposite that exists. Now the reason this is important is because if we reject any part of us, we reject the whole. Let me say that again. If we reject any part of us, we are rejecting the whole. I'm going to give you a really simple example to bring this to life. So imagine you have this thing in life called temperature, and on one end of the scale you have hot, and on the other end of the scale you have cold. Now, neither end of that scale is good or bad, wrong or right. It's all about the context that it appears in and how we use it. Hot may be more beneficial at times, and then in other contexts, cold may be preferred. So, you have these two ends of the scale, hot and cold. They are this thing called temperature. They are the polar opposites of the thing called temperature. If we reject cold, If we say, cold is bad, we don't want cold, cold can shut up, we are essentially rejecting temperature. Because cold is part of the thing we call temperature. So by rejecting the cold end of the scale, we are rejecting the scale of temperature in and of itself. How does that relate to your inner critic? You might be wondering. Well, if we reject the inner voice, what you may call the inner critic, the negative self talk, if you reject any part of you, you are essentially rejecting the whole of you. So by telling any part of you that it shouldn't be there, shutting it down, shaming it, telling it that it is wrong, it shouldn't be here, it doesn't have a voice, is essentially rejecting all of you. So, something to think about right? Because how often have we taken parts of ourselves, maybe of our personality, our history, and shamed it, and shamed ourselves and said we shouldn't do that, that part of us is not welcome in the whole of who we are. When the truth is that everything about us, every aspect of us, the whole of us, is perfect. And when we stop rejecting the parts of us, when we actually start to listen to them, we realize that they are there to serve us. Everything has a positive intention driving it on some level. And by rejecting it, we miss out on the opportunity to learn the lesson, there is a blessing in everything that we do. So again, whilst I know that it's usually well intended, calling your inner voice, your unconscious mind, a bitch, a critic, wrong, bad, shouldn't be there, shut up, However it is that you've been communicating with it, is actually a form of self sabotage. So instead, what if you were to begin listening to that voice? To see it as the gift That it is to get the information that it's bringing to the surface presenting to you to say, Hey, this is the thing that's probably not going to support you in getting the goal. This is the thing that's maybe getting in the way of your day to day life. This is the thing that's holding you back from having the relationship that you want. This is the thing that is causing you pain every day, whereas if you were to actually take a moment and acknowledge it, you could then do something to resolve it, to integrate it back into the whole, so that you can fully accept the whole of you. So that you feel congruent, you feel in alignment. so You can then begin to work with that voice, and appreciate it, and understand it for the gift that it really is. See, here's the thing. Whatever we reject, we project. When we're rejecting an element of ourselves, when we're saying, No, this isn't me. This is bad. This is shameful. I'm not even going to listen to this. We then project that out onto the world. And that is the experience that we have. That is our external experience. Because our external experience is only ever really a representation of our inner experience. So telling our inner world, You are not good. You are bad. Is then going to project that onto the outer world. And guess what we're going to see outside of us? We're going to find the things that we see as bad. We're going to see the bitch in other people. We're going to see whatever it is that is within us that we are repressing.