Releasing Emotional Attachments - Organise & Thrive Summit

What we do in one area of our life, we do in all areas.

You may have heard this saying before yet have you been using it as the powerful tool that it really is.

Our relationships with others mirror our relationship with ourselves. The way you show up in business could reflect patterns in your personal habits, such as your approach to working out.

It's common to focus intensely on one specific area, believing that resolving it will make everything else fall into place. While this can be true, the key to unlocking our potential often lies in the areas we tend to avoid... something worth considering!

Although organising the home is not my usual focus, in this week's podcast, I share an interview I had with Chelsea Perry on the Organise and Thrive Summit, where we spoke about how our emotions can hinder our actions due to the attachments we form with our belongings. These attachments can lead to clutter in both our physical spaces and our minds.

There's the wonderful saying, "As within, so without."

Our external environment reflects our internal state, including the spaces where we spend our time. Tune in to this week's episode where I share:

✨ Emotional attachment people have to certain items

✨ How to dissociate emotions from particular objects

✨ The importance of internal calmness and tackling chaos through small, manageable tasks

While you may find yourself wanting to concentrate on significant breakthroughs, sometimes it's the subtle, gradual changes that have the most profound impact.

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Transcript

Sian 0:25

Hello, beautiful souls, and welcome to the Vibrant Mind, Vibrant Life podcast. My name's Sian Hill, and I'm your host. And today I'm going to be sharing with you something slightly different. Now, if you do follow me on social media, if you're part of my community and receive emails from me, you'll know that I recently took part in a summit. It was an international summit called Organize and Thrive. Now, one of the things that I love most about the work that I do, about the work that I do, The mindset stuff, the emotional stuff, is that it can be applied in all areas of life. This isn't limited to, oh, I am a coach for business, or I am a coach for health, or relationships, because as people we take ourselves with us And the patterns of behaviour that we carry out tend to cross pollinate. I don't know if that's the right word, but hey, it works. So what we do in one area, we tend to do in all areas. And that's why I chose the tools and the techniques that I did, the ones that I learned many years ago, the ones that I've learned more recently, because you can implement them in everything that you do, and they all support you in that integration as well, the embodiment of it. So when I was invited to speak at the Organize and Thrive Summit, I thought this is going to be exciting because the kind of topics that were being covered were things like organization, productivity, even home design, um, time management. So very different topics to what I would usually speak on. And of course thriving in life means different things to different people. So it was wonderful to infuse the work that I do into the home in a different way so you can see how it all works. During this conversation, the wonderful Chelsea Perry, who organized the event, and I spoke about emotional attachments that people have to certain items in their home. We also spoke about how to dissociate emotions from those particular objects, and the importance Inner calmness. So going through the chaos and breaking it down into the small, manageable, daily tasks that you can do something with so it takes away that feeling of overwhelm when there can feel like there's so much to do in the home. Where do you even begin? So today's episode is my interview with Chelsea. So I'm really excited to share that with you. Before we dive into the episode, if you haven't heard last week's episode, then you won't be aware. If you have, then I'll be reminding you that my Reflective Alchemy group coaching program has officially launched. The doors are open. It is the beta program. So this is going to be running at 60 percent off. It is a one time offer and it's only available for 10 people. So it's going to be a really intimate group and we're going to be diving into uncovering those unconscious patterns. So this is where reflective comes in. We're going to be using the world as a reflection. We're going to be taking a look in the mirror to uncover those unconscious patterns that are shaping your reality and that are keeping you stuck. This is when the obvious is staring you in the face and you're just not seeing it. so I'll be sharing with you really powerful ways to bring it from your unconscious into your conscious awareness, and then taking you through a powerful process to alchemise the emotions, the beliefs, any resistance that comes up around that very thing. I'll also be sharing with you how to expand your energy field and expand your ability, your capacity to receive. Also the embodiment so that you can integrate the transformations that you go through. This isn't just about feeling good in the moment. It's about how does that get implemented into real life so that you can continue to make those small shifts you. day by day by day and achieve that compound effect over a longer period of time. So whilst you are going to have those wonderful breakthroughs, those wonderful shifts in energy, those changing of beliefs, it's really about being in it for the long term, having that long term vision and also the tools to continually work towards it and learning how to embrace it and release the resistance around where you currently are, where you stand right now, because particularly in the personal development field, there can be this continual push to always achieve more, which is wonderful. And how do you do that while simultaneously loving where you are rather than seeing it as where you don't want to be? So you'll be learning how to do that, how to release resistance around it, how to release attachment to the outcome so that you can start to begin to surrender and trust in the natural flow of life and also navigate challenges, obstacles as they present themselves because they will. So be working with the universal laws to be able to create that alignment and know where you are in the process in any moment. And also, I'll be sharing with you tools to regulate your nervous system, and the reason that is important is that if your nervous system isn't regulated, if your body is in a state of fight or flight, if cortisol is raised, then your energy is not regulated. in a state of receivership. It's when you close down, your energy detracts and that isn't the time to get creative. That is not the time that you're going to notice new opportunities and welcome them into your life. So I'll be sharing with you tools that you can use outside of our sessions. I'm going to be taking you through the journey. This really is a journey of empowerment. Is providing you with the, the knowledge, the know how, the tools, the techniques to keep coming back to time and time again, to use them as you grow and evolve and new stuff comes up because that's the nature of life. This is a journey. It's not a one and done and then ta da, I am where I am. I am enlightened and nothing bothers me anymore. No, that's not the case. So this is something that you can come back to and grow and evolve with it as you do. So if you want to join me in the Reflective Alchemy program, head to the link in the show notes. The full price for the program will be 9. 97. For the beta round, for the founding members who will be going on the journey with me, you'll I have an amazing offer for you, which is 60 percent off. So it will only be 3. 97 and there is a payment plan available with that as well. So if you're interested, if you want to find out more, head to the link in the show notes where you'll find all the details. And if you're still a bit curious about, you know, this alchemy process and a bit about how we create our reality, then you are welcome to come and join me at a manifestation masterclass on the 18th of July, which will be an experience of it. So I'll be sharing with you how to begin to understand those unconscious patterns to break free from that forced change, to uncover some of those, those barriers that maybe you aren't seeing. And I'll be sharing with you a live alchemy process. So you'll be able to experience the transformation and integrate that change live in the session. If you wanna come and join me for that, the link is also in the show notes, and it's only 5 for two hours to go through this process, absolute fricking bargain. So check those out, drop me a message if you've got any questions, and for now, enjoy the episode, and I will catch you next week.

Chelsea 7:32

Hey y'all, please help me welcome Sean Hill to the Organize and Thrive Summit. Sean is an internationally certified trainer of neuro linguistic programming, timeline therapy, hypnotherapy, and master coach supporting people in reprogramming their unconscious mind, rewiring old belief systems, and breaking through lifelong mental and emotional blocks so that they can create a life that they love. Thank you so much for joining me, Sean. Thank you for having me. Absolutely. Yes, it is a pleasure to have you here as well. One of the hardest things about organizing is deciding what items to let go of and when to let go of them and that difficulty typically stems from some emotional bond that we create with those items. So can you explain why we have that emotional connection to items.

Sian 8:18

Yeah, absolutely. So the mind, it's a, it's an interesting piece of kit and it can often feel like it's outside of our control. Yet when you understand how it works, it becomes really simple and even just the understanding of it can begin to ease the emotions when you know what it is that's going on internally. So when it comes to items and the association that we create, create with them. It's what's known in NLP as anchoring, as in we've got this external item, this object, something outside of us. And when We received that item or when we interacted with it, at the time that we did that, we would have been in a heightened emotional state. So what we then do is neurologically link the item and the feeling together as being one. So we think that the feeling that is about the item, but really the brain has just gone and kind of wired them together. Now to give you a, a real life example of this, when you smell. sun cream and you instantly get those feelings of holiday or you hear a specific song and it reminds you of a person or a time in your life and all those feelings come rushing back in. It can be the same experience with a piece of clothing, a piece of jewelry, a gift that we were given in the moment that we received it. It's like we felt so amazing. So we think That it's to do with the gift, but really it's just the brain going, oh yeah, here's that thing again. It like triggers the brain into action. So understanding that alone can kind of take the emotion out of it and think, there is no meaning. It's just the meaning that I've associated with it. So if I were to take all meaning out of this, is the item, in its neutral form, do I want it? Do I need it? If, forget about the person who gave it to me, forget how I felt in the moment, the item, if I was to, Forget about it. If it was somebody else's item, do I, would I still want that thing? And you can even, you know, kind of in your mind, do that dissociation and take that step back, pretend that you're talking to a friend about that item, so it's no longer yours. There's no emotion in it. Um, create that disconnect. So it, then you realize it's the thing. It's not, it's not you. It's not the person. It's not the event. It's, it's a piece of stuff.

Chelsea 10:53

Yeah. So you can kind of pretend that it's on the shelf in the store and be like, would I buy that if I walked past it? Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah.

Sian 11:00

If it

Chelsea 11:00

wasn't

Sian 11:01

for my mom, my dad, my boyfriend, whoever it was.

Chelsea 11:04

Yeah. Yeah. And I've always known, you know, that like smells or sounds can trigger and you have that connection with those, but it is really interesting that you form that with physical items as well. Um, that

Sian 11:18

heightened experience in the moment that you receive it, that your brain goes, Oh, I feel this way because of that. But it's not. I felt that way because I felt that way. And that just happened to be present at the time.

Chelsea 11:28

And then sometimes like we're kind of forced to make that decision. Like we're downsizing or someone's moving in and we have to make space for them. So, um, how can we go about reprogramming our minds so that we no longer have that association with that item?

Sian 11:44

So one of the great ways to do that is when we, when we have an emotion around something, you usually find that we're living it through our own eyes, as in we're associated. in the event. We experience it as though we're present, it's happening in our reality in this moment. So if I were to ask, um, I don't know. So we've got a pair of shoes. We're oven and iron about, should we let go of those? When we think about their shoes, those shoes, we, in our mind's eye, when we picture it, we're, the shoes are on our feet. It's like it's in real time. It's often a movie and we are in the shoes. So if you, the brain's very clever, if you dissociate in that, if you step out of the movie and you imagine seeing yourself in the picture, so with the case of the shoes, it might be that you see yourself In the picture, in your mind, or you even move the shoes completely away, you take them off your feet and you imagine throwing them down the road and making them really small and dark and stopping the movie, so just turning it into a still frame. The emotion disappears with it, so we dissociate. in our mind and the emotion disappears. Does that make sense? Yeah. To kind of clarify on that slightly.

Chelsea 13:04

Uh, maybe for the viewers, you might want to, like, it makes sense to me, but you know.

Sian 13:08

Yeah. So if I move it into a different context to give you an ex more extreme example to really bring it to life, let's say there's, um, somebody who experiences, I don't know, emotion around, Spiders. They really don't like spiders. No, when you think of how much you dislike spiders, you're going to have an image come to mind and the chances are it's probably going to be big. You're going to be living it through your own eyes as though the spiders there and it's colorful and it's got big legs and things like that. So if you imagine taking that image in your mind and zooming it out really far and see yourself in the picture so you're no longer in it. It's like you're watching it. like a

Chelsea 13:52

third person

Sian 13:53

and drain the color out of it and make it really, really small and dark. The, the emotion goes with it because our thoughts, which are the pictures, the movies, self talk, the things that we create in our mind are linked to the way that we feel. So if we change the thought, The feeling changes as well. If we change the picture we hold in our mind, the feeling disappears with it. So it's kind of taking that image in your mind of when you think about how much you love that item, what picture comes to mind, and it's probably going to be colorful and wonderful. Cause we love it.

Chelsea 14:24

Yeah,

Sian 14:25

absolutely. And then if you just zoom that picture out, put yourself in the picture. So it's like, I'm not living it anymore. I'm just observing it like a third person and drain the color and make it small and dark and you'll find, yeah. The emotion kind of just goes. Yeah. It's really bizarre, but it really, really works. It is

Chelsea 14:42

interesting. I've never really thought of it that way. Um, so it kind of sounds like there is an inner world where you, you're seeing all of this and an outer world where reality is. So how are those two connected then?

Sian 14:55

Yeah, it's, uh, super interesting. The world is a complete perception. You know, the nothing is real, there's so much information that we're taking in through our five senses, through everything that we see, hear, feel, taste, and touch every single day. And we delete most of it, we're not even aware of it, because the brain just wouldn't be able to do To process all that information, what we're left with is our own unique version of reality and our own perception, which is filtered through our beliefs, our values, our memories, the things that make us us, who we are and what we're left with is what we call reality. reality. Now, when it comes to the external world being a mirror for the internal world, there's something known as the law of correspondence. So it's one of the universal laws. A bit like gravity, you know, we know what goes up must come down. So we tend to walk out the front door rather than the second floor window. We work with these laws. The law of correspondence is the, um, the basis of as within, so without. So the world that we see outside of us is a reflection. Now, when this comes to organizing your life, it's easy to look outside if you think, oh my gosh, I'm overwhelmed. There's chaos. There's all this stuff to do. The approach I like to have is to think, right, if there's chaos in the world outside of me, where am I feeling chaos internally? And if I can focus on that, The world is going to reflect it back at me. So even if that's, you know, something as simple as, right, I'm feeling overwhelmed by all of this stuff I've got to do. Overwhelm is trying to control the uncontrollables. It's like, I want to fix this thing over here that I have no control over. I want to change the government and my in laws and all these things. And especially in the home, it's like, there can be so much to do. So when it comes to overwhelm to support with that, it'd be like, right, let me make a list of everything that's within my control and just focus on that. And you'll find as the inner world calms down, as that becomes, um, you know, even if it's through meditation, through taking some time out, calm the internal world, and the external world will start to shift as well, because we'll perceive it differently. We'll, instead of like the clutter in the corner, we'll notice the rest of the room that's nice and organized. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, if our inner world is chaotic, it's like, yeah. All I see is the chaos.

Chelsea 17:19

Yeah. And that's one thing I tell people is like, if you have a room full of boxes, like take one box and go into a room that's organized. So you're not viewing all of the chaos in front of you. You're somewhere call. So what are some other ways that we can begin to make positive changes in our, in our lives? Um, Oh, gosh, where

Sian 17:40

to begin? Um, I think, first of all, whatever you're doing in any situation, whether it's to do with organizing your life, being able to thrive, is to take away any meaning. There is no meaning other than the meaning that we give things. So people will often label themselves as, Oh, I'm, you know, I'm useless. I'm a failure. It doesn't mean anything. We just, it's just an action that we haven't have or haven't taken a behavior that we are or aren't doing. Um, so have that compassion almost like you would with a friend. It's like, step outside of your body and think, if I was talking to a friend, what would I say to that person? What would be my advice? What would be my recommendation? Because we can be our own worst enemy and beat ourselves up so much for things that we would never expect of anybody else. So I think I hear an animal. She's an animal or your belly. It's, it's my dog. I'm sorry, continue. So yeah, take away any meaning, because there can sometimes then, you know, putting meaning on things, it can sometimes seem to. to perfection and thinking I'm all or nothing. I'm either doing everything or nothing at all. So allow yourself to have that, those shades of grey and realise some days I perform in a way that supports me more than others. That's okay. Then here's a really good key, whether it's in organising your life or anything else, any to do list that you have going on in your head drains the energy from your unconscious mind. So whether it's, oh, I've got to go to the supermarket, or I'm going to tidy this room, or I must apply for a new job, or whatever it might be, take any kind of to do list, write it down, and put a date in your diary for when you'll complete it. Even if it's six months down the line. Because the minute that you put it down, So in the diary, your unconscious mind goes, right, there's a date. Then your mind unconsciously places it in the future, so it doesn't think about it anymore. Rather than, if you imagine a bit like, um, your computer, if you've got all the tabs open, it's using processing power. Whereas if you go, here's the date that I'm going to do this thing by, or I'm going to forget about it, get rid of it, and give it Somebody else, it closes a tab until it's time to open it again. So your energy is just then focused in the moment. And, you know, when you've got lots to do and feeling disorganized or you want to thrive, having multiple tabs open is one way to really take away your focus and enjoyment of the experience. It's like, how can I actually make this fun? Do I, you know, how do I change my state so that I change things? the way that I feel. Put your favorite music on, turn it into a party rather than it being a chore. It's like, how can I reframe it in my mind that actually this is a fun activity rather than something I have to do? Because you don't have to do anything a lot of the time. It's a choice. That's true. I'm choosing to do it. I may as well make it fun. So what's going to add to the experience?

Chelsea 20:38

Yeah, I know I like to dance when I'm cooking and make that more fun.

Sian 20:42

Yeah,

Chelsea 20:43

I love it. Any little thing. Food all over the place. Yeah, it's all over. The dogs enjoy that part. That's, that's really fascinating. Um, you know, I've heard of, If you have it in your head, you know, dump it on paper, but I haven't heard of the putting a date on it. So then like it puts it in the future. That's a very interesting little twist on it. Um, so I, I really appreciate that, that tidbit there too. And I think that you have a gift for our viewers. Do you want to explain that gift for them? I do. Yes. So I've

Sian 21:15

got a forgiveness meditation, which may sound a bit bizarre yet. But forgiveness is really about. cutting the energetic cords that we have with the past. So whenever we're holding onto any resentment, whether it's towards ourself, a situation, another person, you know, we've all heard the saying that, um, Oh, what's the saying where drinking poison is like, butchered that completely. Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Yeah, that's it. So any forgiveness, it's a gift to ourselves. And that's what I want to give to the listeners is a gift that they can give to themselves. Cutting the ties from the past because when you let go of the, the energy and the emotion from the past, it frees that space up inside of you to be present in the now. And that in and of itself can begin to shift your perception because it's, you know, any, if you imagine it a bit like putting down some emotional. Baggage, it then gives you the space to allow new in to just be present where you are. So, um, yeah, that's why I thought it'd be helpful if anybody's experiencing stuff, for want of a better word, it's like, how can I put this down? Um, So that I can thrive more in the now.

Chelsea 22:37

I think that that's a really great gift because one thing that's really associated with organizing is guilt for not keeping up with the home and not meeting these expectations and not staying on top of everything and being everywhere at every time. So forgiving yourself for. Not living up to those expectations that were previously set is a really great thing to give. So I appreciate you giving that might have to take a look at it myself. Yeah, do you have any final give or takeaways that you want to give to our viewers before we wrap up?

Sian 23:14

I think it, one of the things that I always hold in mind is the belief that everybody's doing the best that they can with the resources they have at the time. If we could do better, we would. Yeah, that's the kind of the gift of hindsight when we can look back, having learned from experiences and it's like, now I'll do it differently, but without the experiences in the moment, we wouldn't have that knowledge. So it's taking that into the now. Instead of beating yourself up, just saying, right, okay, I didn't have everything as organized as I was like, I would like, I didn't do the tasks I set myself. What did I learn from that? And how will I go different? How will I approach it differently in the future? Because it may be that we're giving ourselves too much to do and they're never reaching those expectations. It's like, right, what have I learned actually? I'm going to put a bit less on the plate and then I'll feel accomplished in the things that I do get around to or whatever it might be for the individual. She's making so much noise right now. I think she's agreeing with me. Yeah. She's like, I

Chelsea 24:12

agree. Yeah.

Sian 24:13

Yes.

Chelsea 24:15

Give yourself compassion. Be kind. I totally agree though. We don't give ourselves enough compassion. And you know, I think that that's something that If once we can give ourselves compassion, we can spread that compassion elsewhere too. So that's a great thing. Well, I just want to say thank you again so much for taking time out of your day and for joining us and allowing me to interview you for this.

Sian 24:37

Thank you for having me. It's been really good fun. And

Chelsea 24:40

yeah, people take something from

Sian 24:42

it that will help

Chelsea 24:42

them. I think they will because there's a lot of really great nuggets in here. And especially again, that forgiveness meditation is going to help a lot. So yeah. Okay. Well, thanks for tuning in guys. And until the next interview. Bye.

25:02

And I'll see you in the next video.