Thoughtful in The Dark

From middle school notebooks to the global airwaves, my journey as a creator has always been fueled by a need to document the unpredictable. What began as a personal blog in college has blossomed into a vibrant podcasting community, built on the feedback and support of listeners like you. This platform is an extension of my creative realm—a place where stories, perspectives, and experiences come to life in audio form. Thank you for being part of this evolution. Welcome to the show. — Ralph

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Thoughtful in The Dark

Insomnia

June 14, 2024 • Ralph Cortes • Episode 7

0:00 | 6:11

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I dedicate this one to all the "night owls" like myself. For those of us who find it difficult to fall asleep when we try too hard to do so. Getting some sleep. A short fictional story, Insomnia, depicts what I believe is taking place in my mind. I don't know! Perhaps it has happened to you as well. Enjoy! — Ralph

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INSOMNIA

While the rest of the world slept covered inside the sheets of conformity, another night bare witness to the battle that continues to rage in my bed. Or should I say, inside my head? You see there is a beast, a dark creature that insists on prolonging my thoughts and making me descend into the darkest pits of this struggle. There is a rampant campaign of hostility from this entity that persists on stretching the depths of my consciousness and the limits of my creativity.

While submerged in the warmth of this scuffle, I asked it to tell me her name. Immediately after that, I felt and heard an explosion that resonated through every fiber of my body, and that suddenly brought upon it a light that I have never seen. I began to see letters with every light burst and also their meaning alongside. It was like a deciphering guessing puzzle game that further fed my inability to find rest.
The first word was incoherent. A word used to describe a person without logical or meaningful connection; disjointed; rambling. The letter “I.” This one was immediately followed by the letter “N,” and the word neglectful which can better describe the actions that underwent this encounter. I was being deprived of rest, being in the same fashion, neglected of such need.

“S” followed suit with the word sad, which described my feelings at best. I was continuously unhappy with fatigue and sorrow due to my endless nights. “O” made her appearance holding hands with the word overwhelmed that carried with her the certainty of my overload baggage full of despair and the lack of energy. “M” flashed like a lighting bolt from hell with the word maddening that bear witness to such frenzy.
“N” returned for an encore with the word negative and fact that I have been refused the consent to object this battle and to seek my nightly freedom.

Another encore performance ensued. This time with the letter “I” and the word “ignorant” that solidified the lack of knowledge I held and continue to hold through each episode. And finally, the last explosion of light came with the first letter of the alphabet, the letter “A” and the word “absurd” that brought with it sense to this madness. With this last word I understood that my efforts to fight against this monster were senseless. They were illogical.

For in that moment, I came to understand that while the rest of this planet slept in profound peace in plateaus of serenity and delight, my struggle with this beast kept my stories marching, my poems birthing, my songs moving me, and my creativity wide awake. While everyone ceased to produce, I did quite the opposite. And while I did try to get rid of it, I understand now that her message was clear. This creature was never going to leave me. We were to be together for I don’t know how long. Maybe forever! Notwithstanding, here I am once more, while you sleep, keeping you informed with another burst of creativity, courtesy of my nightly colossus named Insomnia.

Happy sleep!

Copyright 2024 / Ralph Cortes - Thoughtful in The Dark