5 Areas Nonprofit Executive Directors Can and Should Control As Part Of Their Leadership

Many things in our organization and world feel like they are out of our control.  As much as we try,  control is not something we can often exercise. But when it comes to our leadership as nonprofit executive directors, there are a few things we can and should exercise control.

These areas are:

- My Attitude
- My Skillset
- My Priorities
- My Influencers
- My Work

Focusing on controlling these areas in a positive fashion, will increase the effectiveness of our leadership.

Transcript

Tim Barnes: 0:02

Many things in our organization and world feel like they are out of our control and, as much as we try, the control is not something we can often exercise. But there are a few things that we can control as nonprofit leaders. Welcome to the Practice of Nonprofit Leadership. I'm Tim Barnes and I'm Nathan Ruby. Well, nathan, before we start, I probably need to put a disclaimer. We are actually recording in a construction zone today. Now, seriously, you may be hearing hammers. There's a lot of stuff going on around where we're recording today, so just know we're doing this in real time here and enjoy the hammers and the dogs and everything else you hear right now.

Nathan Ruby: 1:06

We'll put up a sorry for our dust in the show notes.

Tim Barnes: 1:10

Yeah, there we go. But with that said, okay, nathan, I'm finally ready to admit it At my core I am a control freak.

Nathan Ruby: 1:22

Really, actually, I've never noticed that, tim.

Tim Barnes: 1:25

Well, I got to say yes, it's true. I've come to the realization that I want to control most everything. I want my dogs to do what I tell them, and the same with my family and my colleagues, my neighbors and our donors and the economy and our leaders, and the list goes on. I just want them to do what I want them to do.

Nathan Ruby: 1:48

Well, gosh Tim, how's that working for you?

Tim Barnes: 1:51

Not well.

Nathan Ruby: 1:55

Well, I guess, welcome to reality, tim.

Tim Barnes: 1:59

Oh, I know, you know the truth is and not being fatalistic or whatever but honestly there's not much I can control. But as a nonprofit leader, I've realized that there are a few things that I can and, quite frankly, probably should control. I actually sat down with a three by five card a few weeks ago and I actually took a picture of it. I have it on my phone and I sat down and I listed a few things that I can control, and they're probably things that you can and probably should control as well when you think about leadership and leading your nonprofit. So I thought I would share five of them with you today. How's that sound, nathan?

Nathan Ruby: 2:47

All right, sounds good, let's roll.

Tim Barnes: 2:50

All right. So this is not rocket science, but it's some things that, hopefully, will be challenging to you and get you to think, and so here's some things that I can control. The first one is my attitude. My attitude. The first one is my attitude, my attitude. Now, have you ever had one of those days, nathan? Yes, yesterday was one of those days for me. I actually got so frustrated, I actually had to go take a walk. I had to pause and take a walk, take my breath. You know, I had a couple of key tasks that I had to get done and nothing was cooperating. I had to fill out this form, and here's what I here was my password to the form. It was this is a stupid waste of time 2024. That was my password. Oh man, can you tell what kind of day I was having?

Nathan Ruby: 3:46

That's a great attitude, Tim.

Tim Barnes: 3:48

Oh, I know I got frustrated, angry and more frustrated. So, like I said, I went for a walk and gave myself a pep talk and go, come on, get over it. But quite frankly, it probably doesn't sound like it. But attitude is something that we have a chance to control and you know, it's the old Stephen Covey principle. If you read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, he talks a lot about the idea that between stimulus and response is our power to choose. And so, when something happened to us, when we face a situation, when we have something that's just not going right, between that stimulus and my response I have a power. I can control how I choose. It doesn't feel that way all the time, but I can control how I respond, and so attitude is something that I truly can control.

Nathan Ruby: 4:43

Yeah, and I think that's so important, tim, because people are watching us, people are watching you, and whether it's staff or volunteers, donors, they're watching how you respond to situations, whether it's something immediate in the moment or whether it's something that plays out over a long period of time. And we talked about in the past, tim, about culture, about organizational culture, and so how you respond in those moments, is it anger, is it frustration, is it resentment, is it happiness, is it joy? That is a culture that we're setting, and people will follow you. Even if they don't say anything, they will still follow the precedent that you set or the example that you set.

Nathan Ruby: 5:40

And then, after we spend all day, you know being mature leaders and between stimulus and response, and we have the mature response, then we go home and it starts all over again with our families, you know, with our spouses, with our significant others, with their kids or grandkids, whatever the case may be, and you then have to do it all over again, and so the and then Tim then have to do it all over again, and so the and then Tim. It's even better, because then we wake up the next morning and we get to do it all over again. So attitude's not a one and done, it's not a, you know, it's not a once in a while, it is a constant thing that goes on every day and, like you just said, we can work on it, we could get better, we can improve it, because we get to choose.

Tim Barnes: 6:28

Well, you and I both know the story of a, of a leader who leads an organization and his staff are always scared every time they walk into into work. Uh, it's like, what kind of attitude are we going to face today, where you know what is that, what is? Are we going to face today where you know what is that, what is that leader going to be like? And and again, we're not perfect and we're not saying you've got to be perfect and have a halo on your head. It's just the bottom line. If we really think about it and we're intentional about it, we actually have an opportunity to decide, to make a choice on how we respond to what's going on in our life. So attitude is something that we can control. So the second thing that we can control is or that I can control, I'll say is my skill set, my skill set, and so this is the idea that if you need or want to develop a skill, there just isn't much of an excuse. These days it's called Google or it's called AI.

Tim Barnes: 7:32

I mean, there's so much out there that if you need to learn to do something and it's beneficial and all that there are so many opportunities to develop. There are books, there are podcasts, there are courses. There are so many opportunities to develop. There are books, there are podcasts, there are courses, there are websites, and so if you say, ah, I just can't do it, well, if you need to do it, maybe you should look into that.

Tim Barnes: 7:56

If you need to as a leader, you say I'm just not a good communicator man. There are so many opportunities to learn to write better, to speak better, to connect with people. If you need to fundraise, there's always Nathan Ruby. Talk to Nathan Ruby. He would love to teach you or how to put a budget together or any of those skills that sometimes you're like gosh, I'm not good at this. Now, nathan, you had a good point as we were talking ahead of time. It doesn't mean that we have to do everything. You might not be good with numbers and it's easier to say well, let me find somebody that's good with numbers, but maybe you talk about that.

Nathan Ruby: 8:36

Yeah, yeah. So in any organization, any nonprofit organization, you basically have five key areas that you, as the executive director, have to have your arms around fundraising, admin, governance, marketing, program those five categories and to be effective, you have to go deep in each of those categories. Well, if this is the first time you've listened to the show, my area of expertise is in fundraising, and probably governance would be my top two areas. I am not a finance and accounting, which is part of admin. That is not part of my area of expertise.

Nathan Ruby: 9:23

And you know, can I read a balance sheet? Yes. Can I look at it and then make really good decisions as a leader on what to do next? No, and so in order to do that, I have staff with me around me who does have area of expertise in that. And then, if I need something deeper, I have board members who have deep, deep, deep area of expertise in that, and so I need to know enough to be able to do some surface things. But then if I need to go deeper in that, I have people that I can go to that will help me with that. So there's no sense in me spending, you know, taking a finance class on and how to learn nonprofit finance better when I have people I can rely on for that.

Tim Barnes: 10:10

But there are things, there are skills that if you are going to lead a nonprofit organization, you need to be able to do. You need to have the skills, and communication is a big one and fundraising is a big one, and those are two things. If you say I'm just not good at it, you need to figure it out, and there are opportunities to develop those skills, to develop those skills. Now, the one caveat I did put on there there may be some skills just because you can learn them. Maybe you shouldn't, maybe you should be focusing on other skills that are more closely connected to your work as a nonprofit leader. But you get to choose and you have the opportunity to choose to develop those, and so it's something that you can control. Should you do that?

Nathan Ruby: 11:00

That is where they drive in deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper. And you know, they're learning more and more and more. And this happens a lot with founders who, you know, they founded an organization because they have a deep, deep desire to solve a problem in the world, whatever it is, and so they just keep going down deeper and deeper and deeper in that. And then they totally ignore, you know the, the, the work of the board, or they ignore fundraising, or they they've never heard of a receipt. You know what? Why should I have to worry about turning in a receipt? Or you know, marketing, we're not going to market, we don't need to do that. And so they, they, they ignore these other areas of running a nonprofit. And then the organization it suffers because it rises up to a certain level and then it can't go on beyond that. It caps out at a much, much, much lower level than it would be if you were looking at all of those things and then getting help in those specific areas. That that's your weekend. So, yeah, great point, tim.

Tim Barnes: 12:22

So you can control your attitude, you can control your skill set.

Tim Barnes: 12:26

The third thing that you can control is your priorities.

Tim Barnes: 12:31

I'm saying I can control my priorities and of all the ones I'm sharing with you today, this may feel like it's the most touch and go when we're talking about it, because we deal with a lot of other people's expectations.

Tim Barnes: 12:46

You know you have your board, you have your other staff, you know you have your boss maybe your family If you're involved in church, there's expectations or other organizations. It just feels like everybody's telling you what to do and what they expect of you. But bottom line bottom line is you get to choose what takes priority in your life, where you're going to put your effort, what you're going to give yourself to, what you're going to give yourself to and remember, not choosing is choosing. Your priorities are going to show up in your time and in your money and in your relationships, and on and on and on. And we, just as nonprofit leaders, we have to be able to control our priorities and say this is what I'm going to give ourselves to, this is what I'm going to give ourselves to and this is what I'm going to say no to, which is something really hard.

Nathan Ruby: 13:41

It is Tim and you know, as I think back, I have changed some of those priorities. I remember back in the day when the kids were smaller and at home and family dinner was a big thing. It was my family myself growing up. Dinner was non-negotiable, Everybody was at the dinner table. My wife's family non-negotiable, Everybody was at the dinner table. So both of us brought that into our marriage and so it was important for us and our family, as we were, as our kids were growing up.

Nathan Ruby: 14:21

Um, but I would, I would take a call, um, not in the middle of dinner for the most part, but I would be late to dinner sometimes because I had a call that wasn't ended and my wife would get angry with me.

Nathan Ruby: 14:38

And now I don't do that anymore. I have a cutoff time and you know, unless it's like, you know, something's on fire and it's burning down, you know we have a pretty heavy volunteer base in my organization and a lot of times you know they have jobs, they're working, they have families, and so on the weekend they're they're, a lot of times they're thinking about their volunteer responsibilities. So I get phone calls and I get, and I get emails and I get texts and you know, maybe Saturday morning I'll respond, but a lot of times I don't respond till Monday, because this is my, this is my family time, and it's it's getting to be that family time is more and more and more precious to me because, you know, I'm not going to be around forever, so so, so that's evolved a little bit for me, um, over time, Tim.

Tim Barnes: 15:34

Yep and I don't. I hope you don't think that we're naive. We have been around for a while and we've wrestled with this, made good decisions and made bad decisions, yes, but the bottom line is we get to make the choice. What are the things we're going to give our lives to? And we need to be thinking long-term as well. What's the long-term implications of things? So it is something you get to choose to do on your priorities.

Tim Barnes: 16:05

The fourth thing I get to control is my influencers. Um, you get to choose who speaks into you and who influences you, and that's something that I I think I just I realized that I needed to to exercise more control over that. I get to choose and I need to choose the books I read, the shows I watch, the news I listen to and the friends that I hang out with, the podcasts I listen to. You get to choose who influences you and it may be time to take inventory and make some changes. I was listening to someone recently and the guy said you know, sometimes you need to get some new friends and that's hard because you need people in your life who care about you and encourage you and all that, but sometimes your friends are not your friends. They're holding you back or they're influencing you in ways that impacts your attitude, that impacts your priorities, and sometimes you need to say let one or two of those go and uh, and make some choices about who you're going to let influence you.

Nathan Ruby: 17:20

Well, and you know, sometimes Tim, the your friends and actually even family uh can become your biggest limiting factor because you have you know.

Nathan Ruby: 17:34

Let's tie this back into your your organization that you're leading or that you'll be leading someday. You know you have this vision for the organization, but you may have board members or or volunteers or people that you talk to that say, oh, you know it'll never be that. You know it. It there's too many obstacles. There's too many obstacles. Now, we're not talking pie in the sky.

Nathan Ruby: 18:04

If you're running an animal shelter and your vision and your goal is to take care of every dog in the universe, okay, you know, there, there, maybe that's a that's a bit you know too much, but you know, could you take care of every dog in your state? I don't know, maybe. So it's just the point is, is you just you've got to be really careful because of who's speaking into you, just like you said, tim, because your subconscious is working all the time and if you're, if somebody's saying no, you can't be careful. Watch out. In the back of your head, that subconscious is going oh my gosh, there's something wrong. We can't, I can't do that, I can't let that happen. So really, really be careful. Who you let speak into you.

Tim Barnes: 18:52

So and that's something you can choose again, you can walk away. You can say I got to stop reading, that I'm going to turn it off, I'm going to do whatever. So maybe the takeaway is it's time to take inventory and make some changes. Are these influences actually helping you to be a good nonprofit leader or not? And so the fifth and final one that I can control is my work. Is my work? And what I mean by that is I can control the time and the effort and the preparation that I put into a project or to an event, or to a call or a visit. I get to make that choice, a visit. I get to make that choice and I feel like we often.

Tim Barnes: 19:40

It's easy for us to want to control the outcomes without putting our whole heart into it, and we sometimes say, well, why are we not raising the money? Why are things not going our way? Why isn't the event being more impactful? And so I come back and have to look at did I put myself into it? Did I put the time? Did I bring my skills, did I bring my attitude? Did I put everything into it?

Tim Barnes: 20:04

If you want to be impactful and see your goals realized and have an effective nonprofit, then you got to do the work it's not going to just happen and you get to control that. I have one of my friends, one of my newer friends actually. He's always going around and he's always going DTW, dtw, do the work, do the work, do the work, do the work. And so I get to control that. If I'm having struggles with effectiveness or things aren't seem to be working right, then I need to ask myself did I do the work? Did I put the time in that I needed to to make it happen? So you get to control that.

Nathan Ruby: 20:49

You know, one of the things that I've been evaluating on my own day lately, tim, is how am I defining work? And I think there is a tendency for people to define work as pre-COVID. We went into the office, we sat down at a desk and we shuffled papers, we, we did whatever, you know, whatever we did. Or we, we got in the car and we drove to a factory and we, you know, picked up this part and we did something to it and put it over here. Um, and that was the definition of work.

Nathan Ruby: 21:41

We were at work, and that that definition, I think, is not saying it no longer exists. But I think we have to really reevaluate what is what as executive directors out of our homes. And so in my office area, I have a chair and that I sit in when I'm, when I'm thinking, or if I'm reading something, or, you know, if I'm doing my devotions for the day, whatever I'm doing, and so sometimes my work is actually sitting in that chair or going outside, or sometimes, tim, it's actually if I'm like doing dishes or something and I'm working out a problem in my head, or I'm, you know, I have a donor that I'm stuck on and I'm working on processing what is the next step. And so work doesn't necessarily mean typing on the typewriter or typewriter. We don't even have typewriters anymore Tim.

Nathan Ruby: 22:41

But it's sometimes. It is that and I say this to my kids all the time and they just they call me names when I do. But I say I get paid to think and, tim, you get paid to think. And if you're listening to this, you get paid to think. And Tim, you get paid to think, and if you're listening to this, you get paid to think. And sometimes thinking is just sitting still and letting your brain, loosening your brain, and letting it process on its own, at its own speed, at its own pace, to come up with the solutions that you need to apply to problems that you're working on.

Tim Barnes: 23:13

It goes together, doesn't it? Work is thinking and working is action, right, yeah, yeah. So it's like from your thinking, then something's got to happen, and so yeah.

Nathan Ruby: 23:26

I mean if you could sit there and think all day and come up with great solutions, but then you know, if I don't pick up the phone and call the donor with whatever I came up with, or you know if I don't take the next step, which is the action step, then I'm just sitting around. You know not working. You know there's that next step and that's pretty critical in the process, right.

Tim Barnes: 23:50

But you can't control that you get to make those choices Right, but you can control that you get to make those choices. And so we've talked about you can control your attitude, your skill set, your priorities, the influencers and your work and, as we said, many things in our organization and world often feel like they're out of control and, as much as we try, the control is not something that we often can exercise. But, as we've mentioned, there are a few things that we can control Our attitude and how we respond to what's going on in our lives, what skills and knowledge we develop, what takes priority in our lives, who we listen to and let influence us, and the amount and quality of our work. As we focus on those things we can control, our influence and ability to impact other areas often seem to grow.

Nathan Ruby: 24:47

Thank you for listening today. If you are benefiting from what is being shared on this podcast, we would love if you could share a review. On whatever platform you're listening to us on, let us know how the podcast is benefiting you. If you would like to get in touch with us, our contact information can be found in the show notes. That's all for today. Until next time you.