Talking to Westwood Elementary School's Assistant Principal Lee Whitlock. Learn more about who he is, coming to kindergarten, what parents need to know, Team Whitlock, family, social media and the power of words, and the refusal to answer random questions (listen to understand - ha!).
Talking to Westwood Elementary School's Assistant Principal Lee Whitlock. Learn more about who he is, coming to kindergarten, what parents need to know, Team Whitlock, family, social media and the power of words, and the refusal to answer random questions (listen to understand - ha!).
Unknown Welcome to the podcast with. Speaker 2 Hayes staying at home and policy goals. Today we would like to welcome Westwood's assistant principal Mr. Leigh Whitlock. Speaker 3 Kelsey and Dana. Thank you for having me today. Speaker 2 So glad you're. Speaker 3 Here. Is excited. We are. Speaker 2 We're excited. So instead of me doing a long intro on you, I just want you to take 3 minutes and tell us your life story in as much detail as possible. Speaker 3 I will tell you that in 3 minutes or less. Speaker 2 I know it's actually time, but okay. Speaker 3 I did go to school. I grew up thinking I wanted to be an athletic trainer. I had a lot of interest in health and and athletics. And so I thought that's what I wanted to be. And I was going to be a Houston Oilers trailer trainer. Speaker 2 Oh, I like it. Speaker 3 And so some people listening may not know the Houston Oilers, but they were the professional football team in Houston. And so as I got through school, a counselor kept asking me, Hey, would you like to take some more education classes? And I said, Okay. And my trajectory changed and as an athletic trainer in college, I found out that really I was supposed to be a teacher, and that's what I did. Speaker 2 So where did you graduate? What high. Speaker 3 School? I went to Bryan High School, and then I went to I did a few more schools in between, and then they graduated from A&M. And so that's kind of my college story. I did go back to seminary as an adult. So that's kind of where I am today. Speaker 4 That's what led you to education. You said you had this moment of realization. Speaker 3 You know, what a counselor in college, believe it or not, I really care for counselors. I know sometimes I do grief care, but sometimes counselors actually do help you understand callings in life. And I had one A&M that said, Hey, have you considered taking some education classes? And I took some and I ended up taking more. And then I found myself in a kindergarten classroom one time, and that's how I first started. Speaker 2 You started in a kindergarten classroom like you were. That was your first exposure to education. Speaker 3 I did. And kindergarten has changed quite a bit, like how we were talking about how socially we engaged one another and we talked about colors and letters. It was never reading back. Back when, oh, you graduated, reading was, Oh, really? Not really a thought for our kindergarten kids. It was half day programs. That's right. And it was trying to work through how we get along and how we follow directions. Speaker 3 And so kindergarten is certainly changed now. By now. We're talking about putting letters to sounds and sounds to phonemes and phonemes to words and words to sentences. And now we're reading. And it's really amazing what they're doing in kindergarten. And really, I'll take the time to think all the teachers right now, because it is such a hard job and it has changed and then behaviors have changed too. Speaker 3 But yeah, just a hat off to all teachers if you're listening and thank you for what you're doing in those classrooms. I remember it was really hard. Speaker 2 At some point we're going to have sound effects. We're like, Right. There would be like, Oh yeah, I can't find a teacher. Speaker 4 Well, that's so interesting that you say that really the focus was on character and behavior because now you're an assistant principal. So how was that first year as a kindergarten teacher formative to your role as an AP? Speaker 3 Yeah, that's a good thought, too. I might also say that as a kindergarten teacher, there was also a music teacher there that I kind of saw too at that school, and we've been married for now 25 years. Speaker 2 So for that, yes. Speaker 3 The elementary experience I had back then, I guess it was all about sharing and taking turns in, learning how to handle disappointments and trying to learn how to walk in the halls and those sort of ideas. And today it's no different. We're still working. Speaker 2 You still do that, right? Yeah, we're still. Speaker 3 Working through some of the same behaviors. And behaviors are what I enjoy doing. And I think if you're a parent and you're listening and you've had one that's visited with me before, you know that learning is about behaviors too. We can teach and learn. There are choices that we make and and get new chances every day. And so that's kind of what I do at Westwood there. Speaker 2 Really. You're exactly right. There are lessons in every day life as a as a parent, you know, we have so many kindergarten parents that start getting nervous, actually pre-kindergarten. Is my child ready? How do they compare to all the other children? What do they need to know? You know, you had said kindergarten so different today. What would you say to a parent who has a four year old at home and they're starting to get nervous because their kid is going to be in kindergarten next year. Speaker 2 So what are they what are those kindergartners need to need to know? Speaker 3 Well, I can start whenever I think about academics. We'll start with that. A lot of times we get really nervous that we're not reading or that we can't hold a pencil or that we don't know all of our letters and we can't do numbers. And I know we get worked up as parents because we're in a culture where we we hear that other kids might be doing those things. Speaker 3 But I always want to make sure that we remember that's what kindergarten is for. And so that's why we send our kids to kindergarten. Now that they're in third grade and they're still working through some of those early fundamental skills. We might want to look at that and maybe have no concerns, but just some challenges that we need to work through academically. Speaker 3 But when kids don't come to school understanding how to do those things, it's not a911. It's just that's what kindergarten teachers do. And then for behaviors, I would remind parents that I have a son in my office that says 365 days, 365 choices and every day is new. And so we all have 365 chances is what it says there at the end. Speaker 3 So it just reminds us that every day is new. Every day we get a chance and there's grace given, especially when you're five and no one's getting in major trouble at five because they're learning now whenever they continue to do those same things, then we might want to talk about it. But as for parents, I would say there's not a behavior that doesn't that doesn't surprise me and I'm okay with them. Speaker 3 I don't want them. But if we didn't have those sort of behaviors, I wouldn't have a lot to do. Sometimes. And so I'm really thankful for parents who can understand that and learn how to. I guess when we talk about discipline, we think punitive, but discipline can be a way to build someone up to. And so when we're wanting to discipline our kids, it's a building up. Speaker 3 And so just because they had to go see the assistant principal, it's not a day killer for them. It's just something to work through. Speaker 2 Right, Right. And, you know, that's a great lead in to Lisa. You have two girls and tell me, what ages are they? Speaker 3 I have one who's 20 and I have one that's 18. Speaker 2 So what was that like? I always, you know, think about teachers and your own kids growing up and coming to school. Was that a nervous thing for you? Here you are. I guess at that time, were you still a kindergarten teacher when your kids were entering kindergarten? Speaker 3 No, I was. And in fact, I'll fill in some gaps here. After kindergarten stint, I went straight into the gym as a coach, and that really fit a little better for me because I love athletics and I love moving around and I love being silly. And so the gym was a good fit for me. So I spent my time in the gym and I think Clear Creek asked for that opportunity. Speaker 3 And then Clair Creek hired me as an assistant principal, for which I then just came straight over to Friendswood to do the same job. Speaker 2 Yeah. So you've been in Friendswood for this, your 18th year, I believe. Speaker 3 I think that's right, yeah. Speaker 2 I looked it up. It's right here to back that up. Speaker 4 So we make sure all of our facts are true or correct here on the podcast. Speaker 3 Well, my numbers a little bit. Sometimes if I don't remember all the time, but I know that it has been a good move over here. This has been a good place for me. And I haven't worried about, oh, should I try to get promoted, Should I try to worry about titles or and then I remember, you know what? Speaker 3 I have a calling to work with kids and I kind of like the assistant in front of my title. It allows me to do so much more and then it allows me to do much more in the summer too. So yeah, it's been a it's been really a blessing to me to have that assistant in front of my title. Speaker 2 Well, there's no doubt, Lee, one of the reasons that you're on here is this our third interview. I mean, we started before we started with that, but it's our third real interview, right? Yes. Because you are loved by so many people. And just the thought of getting to talk with you and hear kind of the background of why you're in education and and your love for for kids and your love for what you do and teachers. Speaker 2 And so there's no doubt in my mind that you were put in the right place. And so we're for Friendswood. I see. We're so glad that you're here. And we know, by the way, we do know Lee Whitlock cannot stand talking about himself. Oh, no, not at all. It is a very difficult thing for him. But we are so thankful that he just said yes because we didn't know if he would. Speaker 3 I'll switch gears and talk about education a little bit more. Of course, my wife is a teacher also in Clear Creek. Okay. She is a fantastic elementary music teacher. Speaker 2 What school is she? Speaker 3 And she's at Fountain Pass. Speaker 2 The whole campus. Is that junior? Speaker 3 No, it's elementary. Taylor five. Speaker 2 Okay. Okay. Elementary music teacher. How is she? Has she been a music teacher the entire time? It sounds like. Yes. Yeah. Speaker 3 She stayed home like a lot of ladies do. Stay home and with with kids. And then she was back in the classroom and doing a really fine job. That's that's awesome. Speaker 4 So it's one of the ways you bonded with your wife was over your love of kids and education when you all first met. Speaker 3 Do you know what? I don't know if that was our bond. It certainly was. We both enjoy music together and we went to a musical that was our first date musical. Yeah, we went to South Pacific. Oh, okay. And then we went to Outback Steakhouse and we split coconut shrimp. And so that's basically our date night, and I'll never forget it. Speaker 2 So do you get the bloomin onion whenever you go to our back? Speaker 3 You know what? I do like that. But when we were dating, I did not get that you stuck. Speaker 2 With coconut shrimp. You'll still get coconut shrimp together. And you look at each other and giggle. Speaker 3 We split still when we go out. Yeah, it's just fun. And I guess I would let you know that we're empty nesters now. We've been empty nesters since August, so that's a little unique, a unique fact about the Whitlock's. And so it's just Collette and I. Speaker 2 So what is that been like? I was going to ask you questions about what it's like to be a dad with girls because I'm a mom with only boys, and being in a house with all boys is totally different than what your experience has been like with our girls. What is that been like for you? Like, what is a what does a Saturday night? Speaker 2 So go back a little bit. I know you're empty nester. Go back ten years. What it is Saturday night look like for the Whitlock family. Speaker 3 Well, I'll also let you know I finished a degree just last year, and so for the last nine years, I've been kind of working on a degree on the side. So whenever I was trying to be engaged with my girls, it would probably look like a Disney movie or a Gilmore Girls with me sitting in the very back with my laptop. Speaker 3 That's probably what it looks like. So if I was really honest. Speaker 4 Well, Gilmore Girls is a great show, so I'm surprised you weren't engaged by it. But we can see past it potentially. Speaker 3 Thank you. Speaker 2 And it's one of those shows that you could actually be on your computer. Oh, no and no. Speaker 4 Oh, I own every season on DVD, and I like how the Gilmore died or the Guide to Gilmore where it like, explained every reference in the show. Well, I was obsessed. Speaker 3 It's probably not what I like to do. Speaker 2 Necessarily. Speaker 3 But to be in the same room. They give me a pass and so I can do that and still get a dad pass. Yeah. And so it's not what I prefer to do. Speaker 4 So what do you prefer to do? Speaker 3 You know, when I have my own way it right now it's been a lot of work with our local church were highly involved with that. So when I have time, I like to spend my time working with the church. Next weekend, my daughter and I will move one of my daughters to an apartment, but the other daughter will go hog hunting and deer hunting with me. Speaker 3 All right. And the other one really likes Aggie football. So we go to all the Aggie football games together. Speaker 2 Oh, you do? Speaker 3 Every year all the home games. Speaker 2 Oh, okay. Speaker 3 Mhm. And then we try to take it a road game too. So we'll go to Baton Rouge at Thanksgiving. Speaker 2 That's awesome. Speaker 3 But one of my daughters really likes that. The other one doesn't like it at all. So she's okay. That she doesn't go. Speaker 2 Which is good for you and your daughter who does enjoy that. It's great. Yeah, it's great because. Speaker 3 She doesn't really care about doing that except just the people watch. Speaker 2 It. Sometimes it's nice to just stay at home and watch the game as opposed to I mean, it's a lot to go to those home games. It is. I mean, I can see where you love them, so it probably doesn't seem like a lot to you, but to me there's something nice about watching them on TV to. Speaker 3 You know, see and I Lucy's the one that likes the outdoors and she's not afraid to get get dirty and she loves football. And Kathryn's the one that probably doesn't prefer to do either of those things. So. Speaker 2 So let's back up and talk hunting just for a second. That's always been of interest to me. I love the hunting aspect. So when you all go hunting and you said you'll shoot a deer or a hog, so let's say you shoot a hog. Sorry for anybody who doesn't. Speaker 3 Want to have this conversation. Speaker 2 Lee is very worried that a large majority of the audience may not like this, but let's just talk about this for a second. So it is a part of life, right? A hunter. You're a hunter. Speaker 3 It is a part of life, just like catching a trout. Speaker 2 Exactly. Speaker 3 So some people don't mind eating a trail. In fact, if you like trout and flounder, I enjoy that. To Pappy's, that's probably one of my favorite dishes to get there. And we love a stuffed flounder, so that doesn't seem as offensive as maybe shooting a pig. But then sometimes we like to eat bacon. So yes. Speaker 2 We. Speaker 3 Do. I do know that that's kind of conflicting to hear about me wanting to shoot an animal, but we do. We do like to eat them, too. So we consume them, too. And we just consume what we harvest. Speaker 2 Well, I think you might be assuming that a large majority of the audience are young children, but I don't think any young children actually listen. We don't even know if anyone listened. So this is, I guess. Speaker 3 Cut out five year olds listening. That's probably a good thing. Yes. We we like to eat our food. That's what we like to do. So if you're a little one in listening, we like to eat food. Speaker 2 My gosh, a lovely what? Like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm not even going to go where I was going to go. But slowly it was clearly going to be upsetting. Yeah, that's good. I mean, I, um. So talk to us what's on the front of your mind right now when it comes to school in the 21, 22 school year? Speaker 3 All right, I can answer that. That's an easy one. A part of our professional development this year has been what's called reading academies. I think that came out of House Bill three, wherever it came from, it's been really a big consumption of time. However, there's been a lot of learning that's going on with it also. And so I know that it a lot of us in the district are going through that right now. Speaker 3 And it is it's a good it's it's really a good challenge for me since I haven't been around the reading. But what it does is it teaches us that reading is not hardwired. Teachers have to do that. And so it allows us to know, how do teachers do that? Well, it's systematic. There's a linear steps to teaching reading. Speaker 3 It just doesn't happen on its own. And so the science of teaching reading is part of Reading Academy, and it allows us to know how to teach reading instead of just hoping that we are. Speaker 2 And so you as an assistant principal, you go through that course as well. Speaker 3 I am in and I might spend five or 6 hours on a module and misery loves company. So I know teachers are going through it and I know principals are too. Yeah, we're not the only ones in the whole state of Texas is too. So if we could reframe something that's taken a lot of time, I enjoy the the thought of free framing and just for our audience, I know you know it, too, but it's to take something that might be considered negative, but to put a different frame around it to where it sounds like it might be a positive. Speaker 3 So when I reframe Reading Academies, I would say it's really consumed a lot of my family time. But then I'd also say professionally, it allows me to know what's going on in the classroom and when those teachers are sending little books home with those kids and kids begin to learn to read, it makes my professional development so valuable to me. Speaker 2 And what a sweeter thing. I mean, I can't imagine how sweet it is to you get to see those young kids come in maybe not knowing how to read at all. I'm sure that happens all the time. It does. And then, you know, at the end of kindergarten, you know, just watching it, first grade, second grade, just the growth that that happens there with those those little ones. Speaker 3 Hey, I want to encourage parents out there, too, because a lot of times people are so proud of their little ones reading chapter books. And sometimes we use that as a badge of honor. But I want to let parents know that we start reading by putting little words together. And so it comes home in the looking like a little book and little books are good books to me. Speaker 3 And so so don't be discouraged if you're reading little books, because that's how kids really learn to read and not just word call, but to comprehend. So sometimes we want to go to the library and get a really big book, and we may not be hitting the comprehension skills that we might if we have a little reader that's on their level now. Speaker 2 Leigh I've never worked in that young of I've never worked in an elementary school. So whenever kids come home with those little books that you're talking about, do teachers also send home like, here are some questions that you need to follow up with to ask for comprehension, or do you not worry about that right off the bat? Or what does that look like early on? Speaker 3 Yeah, So when those little books come home, really what we want the parents to do is just to read those books with their children and they can sit them in their lap like we did when our kids were small. That makes me sad thinking about that. But we can put them in our lap and just let them read it to us. Speaker 3 If they're struggling. You can read a page and I'll read a page, or if they don't want to read it all, you can read it all. Or if they want to read it all, they can read it all. So what we don't want is it to be a source of frustration or a point of contention where it doesn't feel like it's working very well? Speaker 3 We want it to be something that seems more natural, that flows more organically into the evening time, where we teach kind of routine and maybe some adult listeners that are listening. You like to read right before you go down to bed. That's what we want our kids to do. We want them to have a positive experience with reading. Speaker 3 And you know what? If you have Renwick Park at night, maybe you don't read at night, but if you don't, then maybe you can. One thing we also don't want parents to feel like is they have to be the teachers of reading. They don't. The fact we just want them to have more literacy opportunities. So if they can read at night, they're doing a great job. Speaker 2 So it's so great to hear you talk about those things. I do find it interesting. It's one of the things that I'm so grateful that you're in our elementary schools because you don't see a lot of men in elementary schools. And I don't quite know, am I off on that? I mean, I don't really know why. Why is that? Speaker 2 But I think it's needed more. I think more men should be in those elementary schools as role models and examples to those, you know, young boys. I think it's I think it's great. Yeah. Speaker 3 We don't have a lot of men. I'm not sure what the statistics are on that, but we don't. All I know is, for me personally, growing up with a sister, growing up with girls, growing up with women, I've always had ladies as bosses and I've been really appreciative to have them to guide me. And so I've been around women all my life at the elementary level and at home. Speaker 3 It just feels a little bit natural. Maybe that's why I like to go to the Aggie football games every Saturday and to go hunting or fishing as often as possible. Speaker 2 And hunting things really soar. Speaker 4 And I wish I could see his face whenever he's discussing the hunting. Speaker 2 So let me just tell you this. One of my all time favorite experiences was being in Mr. Whitlock's office when a student was sit down for doing something inappropriate in class. Honestly, I don't even remember what it was, and I had been an assistant principal at that time in the high school for a long time. So just the just the experience of being in an elementary school with little ones and seeing what that discipline was like and how different it was from what it was like for me at the high school. Speaker 2 I just I absolutely I just loved watching the process of you walk through that with kids. To me, it was gold. And I'm telling you, if I could have Mr. Whitlock streaming 24 seven and talking through discipline in his office, I'm telling you, people would subscribe to that. Lee, you do a great job, seriously, And a great job. Speaker 2 So I'm going to give you a scenario, okay? And I want you to just walk through with the audience what you. Speaker 3 Well. Speaker 2 How you would handle that situation. Okay. So Sally Sue kicks Johnny in the leg and tells him that, you know, tells him what he can do with his crayons. Right. How would you handle that situation? So in walked Sally Sue to your office. I'm sure she's upset. The kids always upset. Speaker 3 No. Speaker 2 Okay, so sometimes now it's Sally. Walk to your office by herself. Which should be taken down with the teacher. Is the teacher can't really leave the whole classroom to walk Sally down, right? Yeah. Sorry for anyone named Sally out there. It's just an example. Speaker 3 Just an example. Speaker 2 An example. So walk us through what that what that conversation would be. Speaker 3 So when little ones come into the office, I think there's a thought that we need to be extra punitive in our in our discipline. We talked about that earlier, maybe in our podcast. But to restore kids is really what we want to to be after. And so how do we restore her? First, we need to let her admit that she did something wrong and she needs to come to that conclusion on her own. Speaker 3 And so it might sound like, Hey, tell me why you're here. And so she may or may not say that she kicked someone, but I would want her to know that that's why she's here. And so I would read the referral that she came down with, and I might talk her through that about why she did that. The choices that we make, we talk about Kelso making good choices. Speaker 3 There's other choices that you can make. And Kelso was a frog at our school that has eight other choices that you can make when you get a little bit frustrated. Speaker 2 Do you know those choices, or am I putting you on the spot? Speaker 3 No, you're not. Ignore. That's probably the hardest one. But walk away, apologize, talk it out, take turns, go to another game. And the last one is make a deal. Those are the choices that Kelso offers in the the management behind all that is if you can make at least one or two of those better choices, it might help you in that situation. Speaker 3 And then if it's a bigger problem, that's when we go to a teacher. So it allows kids to learn how to make those choices for themselves, right? When they're in a position where they might want to kick someone, they might can look at the poster to see, Hey, well, this is where I'm feeling. Let me look at the frog. Speaker 3 What is he doing? I better try to do one of those. We can get kids to transfer what they ought to do to what they do. There is learning, and it's beautiful that way. But to your example, if they've come down to the office, we want them to know they've done something wrong. We want to give them an opportunity to talk about it, to know what they should do differently. Speaker 3 And we talked about 365 days, 365 chances. And so those are new days that we're going to continue to restore kids so that they can learn from their behaviors, because we want them to know that, hey, you're not just learning in the classroom and in the literacy that we spoke about earlier or math, you're learning social skills, social skills. Speaker 3 How do we get along with one another? And so so that's kind of how I would do that. And then I often will follow up with a phone call to a family and then the mom or dad, they're super sad. And then I need to remind everyone listening, just because you get a call from the office, it shouldn't be super sad because that's part of life to end at the level that we are at the elementary level. Speaker 3 Our problems that we have with kids that kind of confound us is parents just know that their problems get bigger as they get older. And so it's really good to learn to use that soft tone of voice when you're dealing with your kids, even when they've made parenting hard and oh gosh, when they come home and they bit or they've been bitten, it is so good to remember to use that soft tone of voice. Speaker 3 And if there's a consequence and I know consequences can range from having a spanking to you, don't eat Blue Bell. So whatever consequence seems appropriate to parents, we want them to always learn to restore their kids, let them know they're loved deeply, and let them know that tomorrow's a new day. Speaker 2 They feel like such a bad parent in this moment. Speaker 3 And then I guess as parents, sometimes we do. But then when we think, Oh, that kind of works for marriage, it kind of works for. Speaker 2 It does. Speaker 3 Work. Speaker 2 Do you think? Speaker 3 Worker Yeah, Yeah, it does. Oh God. Also works for a lot of things. Road rage. If you can think, what do I need to do? Yeah, the person who cut me off or the motorcycle, you just almost buzz that mirror off. We can think, Hey, what would Kelso do? Let me make a good choice and go from there. Speaker 2 They do always do what Kelso would say to do. Like, is there ever a part of you that just wants to run someone over? Not nice. Speaker 3 Not physically. Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Speaker 2 Or your wife. Just say I'm letting loose this time. I'm just going to tell her like it is. Speaker 3 You know, we've. We probably used to be that way, but I alluded to the church in some of the things that we like to do when we're not in school, and because of those things we don't behave that way anymore. But we used to, but we don't. That's not a part of who we are anymore. And so we've learned to have self-control. Speaker 3 We've learned to know what it is to be patient. And so to say I don't I don't get angry. I don't know if that's totally accurate. Speaker 2 But but do you get angry? Like, do you get angry? Speaker 3 You know what? I don't know that. And I get angry. We talk things out sometimes and so but no, life is way too short for me to get angry. But I know we live in a culture or where people are angry a lot. And I don't identify that way in this world of identifying. If I could say that I don't understand it for me, but I give people grace because I know that they're working through things and so I can have patience and and try to understand them, even though that's not me. Speaker 2 Yeah, we were talking about that a little bit earlier about before we started the podcast. Just, you know, that whole intentionally pursuing peace in your life and just in it is a choice. It is a choice. I clearly and not a nearly as successful as you are. I need this Kelso book, I think. Speaker 4 I don't think anyone successful is really what. Speaker 3 You are as you are. Speaker 2 It's Mr. Whitlock's neighborhood. Speaker 4 Don't you think we need to show? Oh, my goodness, we need to get you a cardigan. Speaker 3 Is this. Speaker 2 Do you have a cardigan? You change your shoes when you get home. Speaker 3 I don't. Speaker 2 You need to. Speaker 3 Start. That is such a good review. Speaker 2 I mean, hello. Is it not. Speaker 4 Just the kindness, Kindness, heart. Speaker 3 Exactly the way you do everything? Really? Not me. That's. That is not me. And. And I'm not going to talk about seminary stuff, but I did go to seminary, and my wife and I, we I alluded to our church, but we do love Jesus. And so because of that, we are children of God. And because of that, we behave differently. Speaker 3 And so because of all of those things, it is not me, it is him. Speaker 2 So and we're called to behave differently. Yes, but I do. Yeah. What you do is actually you do it. Yes. So I'm I'm going to speak for the other side of were called to but I fall short many, many, many times. So I'm just hats off to you for really obviously putting in the work and and it is a choice it's it's when that anger I tend to lean towards anger a little bit. Speaker 2 I'm very I have a quick wick and you know which is bad it's it's really bad. Obviously as I get older I'm getting better. But and I try to be funny sometimes too. I think that quick I try to be funny, but yeah, cutting a little bit, which is really bad. I'm feeling so guilty. Speaker 3 Getting across it, you know? So when you said you're getting better, what do you mean by that? Speaker 2 Well, I think as we get older, you know, I watch my my oldest son is now married. And, you know, you pick your battles. I mean, I could get upset about a lot of. It's not easy living with with a partner. Right. Someone else. And and I think God tends to put us with completely opposite people. And so I used to not be a great wife. Speaker 2 And I'm just getting better at just being more laid back and allowing him to. I really want to show more love than I do trying to be right. Speaker 3 Mhm. Yeah. Than trying to be right. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 2 Okay. I got to let go of that. Whatever Right is cause Right is that our relationship is working not the, you know, not this argument or not this battle or whatever. Speaker 4 So what's laying down your pride. Usually you know Ali and I newly married. That's right. And married less than a year now but definitely have learned so much even in the short period of time about just it's not what you see in movies like there. There are a lot of challenges. There are a lot of adjustments that come whenever you get married. Speaker 4 But I go to New Hope and we actually just started a series this past weekend called Marriage Boot Camp, and I loved the first week. I'm excited for the next three. But one of those things that we discussed was, you know, you go through this honeymoon phase, that's how it starts. And they're perfect. They're without flaws. They're a rose among thorns. Speaker 4 And then reality sets in and every little thing they do might get under your skin for a while. And he's like, You know what? There's going to be a lot of tough things because love isn't perfect all the time, but love works through it. And he's like, The more you work through those tough things, that's when you're going to reach the best part of marriage, which isn't the honeymoon phase, he said. Speaker 4 The best part of marriage is whenever you reach that Christlike love. And so if you follow what you're called or how you're called to love your spouse, just like Christ loves the church, then you will reach that that point. He's like, And that's where where that peace comes in. Speaker 3 That's good. Hey, and I'll even echo some of that. A good proverb says a soft word is a beautiful thing, but it says a harsh word stirs up anger. A harsh words stirs up anger. Mm. And a soft word is like a kiss on the cheek. And so if you can hear some of that. I do know in marriage, though, like you said, everything seems so cute when you're dating, but whenever you get married, all of a sudden that becomes an annoyance. Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. Mm hmm. Right. And so a harsh word. Destructive anger and a gentle answer is soft, and it stirs up peace. Speaker 2 So, yeah, when I first met my husband, he would eat cereal in front of me, and I thought it was so cute the way he would, like, put his smack, his little lips, you know? Oh, so. Speaker 3 Little, you know, lips. Speaker 2 And a couple of years in, if that spoon touched that ball one more time, I wanted to take it and throw it across the house. So you get an insight to my anger. Speaker 3 Yeah, I think I see it. Oh. Speaker 2 What is that? So thinking about you being a dad, being a teacher, just thinking about with your girls, Are they in relationships? Are they close to being married? How do you talk to them about I guess they've seen that with their mom and dad. But, you know, it is something that I had a conversation with someone that I work with, and he was nervous about his daughter getting married because he knows the pain that can come along with marriage. Speaker 2 I mean, marriage is not easy. And it's just it can be a rough life, not life, some kind of making it sound terrible. But you know what I'm saying? Anybody who's been around say, yeah, is not perfect. And yeah, Is that something that you talk to your mom you've you've obviously talked to your daughters about, obviously. Speaker 3 Yes. Yes. First off, I've talked to my kids about boundaries. Yeah. About setting good healthy boundaries. And a lot of times if we don't set healthy boundaries, we end up making mistakes that we probably will regret. So it's so good to have those boundaries set and made in advance so we know what might happen if we get into certain scenarios. Speaker 3 The other thing when it comes to raising our girls, I've learned to hold them loosely and it is so good. Swaddle them. Do you remember swaddling your little hand and putting them in that really tight swaddle and to hold them close to you? And I learned that. And maybe you even did that in one of those gliders, those rockers. Speaker 3 And you held them so close. I've learned to let them go a little bit more. And that's what parents can do with their kids. They can learn and it's hard, but they can learn to let go and trust exercises. Our trust muscle. But to let them go and to learn life on their own a little bit. I also, um, I also do weddings. Speaker 3 And so every time I get to that part, who gives this lady to this man to be married to here that her mother and I. I think that's a really hard word. That said, it's maybe doesn't sound hard unless you're the one saying it. It's really hard to let go. So on the podcast today, in this day of September, it's easy for us to say, Oh, just hold them loose. Speaker 3 It doesn't really feel that good inside to do that. But we prepare. We raise these kids with boundaries, letting them know right and wrong and and providing consequences that fit the behaviors to always restoring them. And if I could just say one thing to parents to restore your kids at night, the culture is not doing that. They're not getting that encouragement or that word of affirmation from a lot of people. Speaker 3 So it's it's critical that it comes from us as parents, even when they disappoint us. And they do they do things that make parenting really tricky. But even in those places, it is good to get that kind of shored up before the sun goes down. And an analogy that we use around our house, it's one that we've kind of learned on our own. Speaker 3 It's it's the illustration of the oatmeal bowl. And that oatmeal bowl is really easy to clean out. If you'll take care of it right, then that's great. But if you leave it and you're saying, you know what, I'm not going to handle that oatmeal bowl until I come back maybe from work and you see it and then you think, Man, it's really hard to get this off. Speaker 3 That's how not not clearing things up with your loved ones, your friends, your relationships. The longer you let that oatmeal stay on, the harder it is to get off. And if you would just take care of it right away, a lot of that just comes off with just some warm water and a little stirring of your hand. And if you let a lot of time go by, you may want to throw that bowl away. Speaker 3 It gets that hard. Well, offering forgiveness, restoring one another, if you handle that sooner than later, you're far better off. Speaker 2 Oh, I love that analogy. No. Oh, that's good. Speaker 4 I like a knot in my throat. Yeah, that's good. So good, you guys. Oh, this is serious. Oh, yeah. Speaker 3 No, no. Speaker 2 Lee, we're serious. We're not. We're not kidding. Speaker 4 We've had regular conversations about our love for you. Oh, okay. Speaker 2 You are. So you're one of our faves. Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm glad to be here. Speaker 2 I'm so glad you're here getting that to your tell. Speaker 3 Like we're wrapping up. We wrapping. Speaker 2 Up. We're not wrapping up. Speaker 3 Okay, Sit back and relax. All right. Thank you, listeners. Speaker 4 Well, one of the things that you brought up was just the power of words and software versus a harsh word and something we see that a lot of times in social media now. And you've told us that you do not have any social media. You want to explain why that is? Speaker 3 Yeah. Yes, I can. There are other other things that I might consume my time with. And I haven't I haven't learned to put social media as a priority in my life yet. I don't know if I ever will. I didn't tell the listeners. I'm 50 years old, born in 1970. And so I didn't I've never felt the need to have to communicate with social media. Speaker 3 I still would rather call or have a coffee or visit, so I would choose probably not to use that as a communication method for me. I also will say that I recognize that some people probably don't guard themselves as well as they should or monitor themselves. And so because of that, they show a lack of self-control. And when you show a lack of self-control, it shows a little bit about your character. Speaker 3 And we don't want to expose our character if it's a foul way. And so we want to be really careful with how we use it. Now, all that said, my wife doesn't use it either, except she just got on Snapchat. Is it Snapchat or Instagram? It was Instagram because my little one is in cosmetology school. I interrupt this program for a shout out to all program work programs. Speaker 3 If you're in a work program, we love it. At the Whitlock House, Not everyone goes to college And parents. That's okay. Speaker 4 That's right. Absolutely. Yeah. Speaker 3 Now back to the podcast. Oh, so my little one is in cosmetology school and she is daily talking about chemicals and colors and bubble braids and all sorts of really cool biologies and anything that you might. Speaker 2 Wow, over here, that's another clap machine. Speaker 3 Yeah. Anything that you might want to get done. That's, that's in cosmetology. Lucy likes to post that because she's encouraged to do that. And so I just got set up a couple of weeks ago and just a thank you to a lot of the Westwood teachers. They're following Lucy and it's so fun to see that. So they always encourage her in her hair pursuits. Speaker 3 And so thank you as well teachers for that. So we do too. Just got on Instagram and so we get to see all of the new looks that she's that she's doing. And it's looks, looks by Lucy if you want to follow her on Instagram. Oh, that's good to know that. That's cool. And is this sounds like my hand. Speaker 3 All right, let's buy Lucy. She is a builder of hair and heart is what she is. She's also taking some biblical counseling classes like her dad Love it. And so she is learning how to listen, learn how to do hair. And those will be great combinations. Whenever she's completing her program, y'all will want to go see her. Speaker 2 Hey, listen, getting your hair done, it can be either a gossip session or it can be a counseling session. Oh, yeah. So that is a great that's a great way to look at it that she's doing what's going on here in heart. You love. Speaker 3 It. You said gossip. I just want to say there's another word that's really that we live by, but it's letting no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful in building up others according to their needs. And so we like that what words are encouraging. Words are helpful. Oh, yeah. And while you're doing that, add another foil to my hair. Speaker 3 So it's it's that kind of thing that you can get into. But you know what? That positive talk in in listening to words of hope and truth that can really be so powerful in this world of anxiety, stress. I don't know if I like these other people. And so it's really contagious. The positive talk and the other word is negative talk can be also. Speaker 3 So if you want to get your hair done right, let's buy Lucy Charles and Susie School of Hair Design. I do want to plug that and I'll let you know. We love our our oldest one just as much as our little one. Our oldest one is a junior and she's an engineer at University of Texas. Speaker 2 And so is that hard for you to say? Speaker 3 You know what, I did go to Angel, and so we know that we're not a house divided, even though I love it when the Longhorns lose, it makes me so happy. Speaker 4 Thank God my my husband is not going to listen to this podcast because he is a die hard Ute fan. Speaker 3 I loved it when Arkansas beat them and it was so good to me. But we're not a house divided and we're really clear on that. We are a house united, actually. And so we're team went like we're a team went like a four and nothing divides us and so we're all working out our faith together. We're walking in step with the spirit. Speaker 3 And you know what? If you want to go to Austin, so be it. If that's where you feel called to be. In fact, we need more Whitlock's good point. And so. Speaker 2 Right. Speaker 3 Lucy has chosen to go to Charles and Sue's School of Hair Design That happens to be in Bryan College Station. Oh, hello. Convenient. So we love our daughters, Catherine and Lucy, and I'm just so thankful for how they've been a good distraction in life for the last 20 years and knowing that they're not ours, but they are in a little way, you continue to release them to bigger and better things. Speaker 2 Oh, okay. Let me move on from this. Sally. Service is something that you're very passionate about and I don't know if you want to talk about this or not, but I know that on Wednesday nights you have spent many years, right? And I don't know all the details, but you've spent many years serving the homeless in Houston. Are you still doing that? Speaker 3 Yes. Okay. Yes, we do that on Wednesday nights. Speaker 2 Yeah. So tell us about that. How did it how did you become involved with that service with the homeless? Yeah. Speaker 3 About 16 years. I took a group of high school kids and we went to Third Ward and we were just going to serve hot dogs and that was it. Then we were going to leave. Speaker 2 Like, bring your barbecue pit and fire it up. And so I actually. Speaker 3 Already made okay. All we had to do is put condiments and smile and do some eye contact and let them know that we're connecting with them. Yes. Even though we weren't we didn't look like them necessarily. We were doing some eye contact and giving them food just to let them know that we care for them. And that was it. Speaker 3 And so after that Wednesday night, I just felt really compelled to to go down there. So I would go down on Wednesday nights just on my own. And when my girls were big enough to like, sit in car seats, I would carry them down there with me. And as they got bigger, they would bring their guitar or they would sing. Speaker 3 And and it was just real. A positive is really strange when I hear it, but it was a real positive engagement with the people of Third Ward. And I love Third Ward. Go cool and I love the man of Thousand Hills that are walking the streets down there. Speaker 2 Is that the service that like you're a part of? Yeah. So, okay. Speaker 3 So it's a group of men and a few women who reside on the streets of Houston. And so I'm so grateful for the lessons that they've taught me. But now for almost 17 years, we've just continued to kind of go down there every Wednesday. And sometimes we bring the usually we don't, but we always bring encouragement. We've talked about that a lot on this podcast. Speaker 3 I hope the audience isn't getting tired of hearing that, but encouragement is something that we really need in life. And so we'll go down on Wednesday nights and we will we'll share the Bible with them. Some verses that that might be helpful to them, to let them know they're not forgotten and they're not alone, and that everything they've done in their rearview mirror is not counted against them. Speaker 3 And so they can live like we talked about those kids, New chances, new Day, new tomorrow, new mercies. So they need to know that, too. And there's a lot of judgment that sometimes we judge that the people on the streets like them, they made their bed. They need to lay in it. And I don't know when I've wanted to say that because I really think if I can help them, I will. Speaker 3 So that kind of I don't kind of say, hey, you made your bed, you can lie in it. I kind of don't. I don't I don't kind of go that way. But I certainly see how we might think that I've been called to think something differently. And over time, I really I really believe it's true. And so so another question that the listeners might say, well, hey, you've been going down there. Speaker 3 What what are you saying? I mean, has it been helpful or what are your results? And that's a good question. AUDIENCE What are the results? And the good answer is I don't even know. Mm I don't know. There are sometimes you do things that you don't even know what the results are going to be, right? But you just continue to do them. Speaker 3 And you know what? I'm I do get sometimes a little bit cynical when I hear like the same stories or TED talk and I hear the same story. And the one about the starfish makes me giggle on the inside. Um, but I do recognize, hey, I don't know for sure, but that one is different and I don't know for how long, but for tonight different. Speaker 3 And so when we go down there, we go down there and we see miracles all the time, not miracles of mental health healings or you got a big job. Now the miracle of someone looking at you and letting them know that they're deeply loved, people that aren't like you saying that that's a miracle. People leave in the suburb to go to the inner city to say you're loved, that's a miracle. Speaker 3 And then every now and then to bring hot dogs, that's a miracle. I will say this is another miracle. I had a mom drop off some shoes and some I had a an assistant principal drop off a bag of jeans this week. We passed them out last night. Another miracle. Just another miracle on the streets, that third Ward that not many people will see. Speaker 3 And I don't need the news to pick it up. But in a day where all the media stories are so sad and gloomy and they're always bumped up with COVID numbers, it seems like, wow, there's a lot of miracle going on on Jefferson and Drew and Scott Street. Speaker 4 Absolutely. And I know one thing whenever to your dismay, whenever we did your staff spotlight article, you shared with me that you do something special every year for the Super Bowl. Speaker 3 Mm hmm. Yeah, we have. And I'm just a big thank you to the Friendswood community because they've helped me a lot in tents. Provides a tent for us to make it Jenny and her t shirt production. They provide t shirts for us and we just are so appreciative. But we're able to stream the game on the big screen in, in, in a field to allow men and women to watch the game. Speaker 3 And it's something that they connect with all already and we connect with them with sports to and we talked about distractions in life. Everyone ought to be able to see the Super Bowl, right? Well, we're so busy going to all of our big parties and those are really fun out here and clear. They're fun to go to, but we have a lot of fun. Speaker 3 Go into it. Third Ward, Homeless. It's it's a crazy environment. It's so much fun. It seems like a sports bar, you know. Yeah, I Cindy's a sports bar, but I guess that's okay. I really mean like Buffalo Wild Wings. Anyway, it's so, it's so exciting because it all comes together and they're able to enjoy the game, too. And I'm in a special thanks to University Baptist for helping out with a lot of that, too. Speaker 3 And all those people that I just mentioned. I know you're thinking you didn't have to mention my name, but it does take a lot of people that care and I'm friends. What's good about that? And do you know what Clearlake is good about it, too. And so I'm grateful for all those partners that we have allowing us to to air the strain, the Super Bowl party for I'm not supposed to say super bowl party, that's illegal, but the big football party, I think I'm supposed to say it. Speaker 2 So if people are listening and they want to help out with that or they love that, you do that. On Wednesday nights and they would love to contribute to that in some sort of way. Like what's do they email you? I know you do a coat and shoe drive as well. Speaker 3 Yeah. Let's talk about those are two different questions and let's talk about if anyone wanted to contribute to the homeless ministry, I won't take a check from you. However, if you want to send a check to University Baptist Church and you can put that with my name in the memo or you can put homeless ministry in the memo and it always gets star count. Speaker 3 And so we're able to do a lot of things through that, and I'm really thankful for that. So that's how if you wanted to to give a donation, that's where I would send it to University Baptist Church. It's in Clearlake, Houston and off Middlebrook Drive. And if you want to go worship there, you can worship there too. The other thing you've asked about drives and what are we collecting? Speaker 3 Who collects and what do you need? I want to thank bills, student council and win song. Even a lot of those groups will collect a lot of our kind of our toiletry bags and hygiene kits, and those are so needed. Speaker 2 In at any time of the. Speaker 3 Year. Yeah, we'll take I think it's okay time and what goes into hiding it whatever you think you would want for hygiene that goes in the kit. And then recently Chad Harris and Joe Mohler, there's another organization here in Friendswood that's always doing good things, not just building buildings but building up people. And I just want to thank them for what they're doing to. Speaker 3 But they offer a shower on Wednesday mornings and a shower trailer there, Lord of the Streets. It's real close to our Third Ward area and so they haul the shower trailer down on Wednesday mornings to allow people to get cleaned up on the outside. And I promise you, their ministry cleans up on inside, too. It feels really good. Speaker 3 So but to clean up on the outside underwear too, is always really good to have. A lot of times we put on our same clothes but depend on the same pair of underwear. Sometimes doesn't feel so good. That's what they do. But to have a fresh pair of underwear feels so good. So our student council at Bills I think is going to work on hygiene kits in that underwear. Speaker 3 Also really good too. Speaker 2 So good to know. Okay, so they can bring those by. Do they need to wait until they're called for? Speaker 3 You know, they just need to just show to anyone that wants to drop off a bag of underwear that's new. You know, they take used socks and they're beautiful. But something about underwear, it's nice to have something new for that. But if anyone has new underwear, they want it that are men's sizes. If they want to drop them off at Westwood to the receptionist, she knows where she knows just what to do with them. Speaker 3 So if you're listening and you feel so inclined to go get a pack of ten pair of underwear, you know what? It doesn't matter if you get one pair or ten pair. If you buy 100, whatever you give will be worn the next day. Speaker 2 Friendswood Let's flood Westwood Elementary with underwear. Wouldn't it be great? Yeah. I've seen your office before and it's hundreds of shoes when you do shoe. Speaker 3 Sometimes she drives. If you have an old pair of skips, you want to clean up and throw in the washing machine and you just want to get rid of those. We'll take those. I know sometimes we want to wear them as lawn mowing shoes, but sometimes we have three or four pair of running shoes that we want to just kind of we don't use them as often. Speaker 3 So if you want to clean those up, you clean them up and we'll put them to use to not as many women shoes that took them down last night. So we can do that too. But man, yeah, men's shoes and it's just the whole starfish thing. They work in two pair of Adidas do. We might be surprised. It might be a miracle to somebody. Speaker 2 Two good words. Okay, so. Speaker 3 I feel like we're coming to an end. Speaker 2 Well, we're about to come to an end, except. Speaker 3 I really want. Speaker 2 To come do it. Leigh, I have about five random questions. I'll always like to end the podcast with just random questions. Okay. You don't know what these questions are, all right? But you know, we'll end it with these questions, so. Speaker 3 Okay. Speaker 2 And what's something people seem to misunderstand about you? Speaker 3 Next question. Speaker 2 What should I ask you that I didn't know enough to ask? Next question What makes you feel like your best self? Speaker 3 Next question. Speaker 2 Yes. So over. Speaker 3 This. Speaker 2 So okay, you have to answer this one. Speaker 3 Go back to question number two. Speaker 2 Okay. What should I ask you that I didn't know enough to ask? Speaker 3 Okay. This is a fun fact. My favorite part of the day is waking up really, really early with Colette. Speaker 2 What time? Speaker 3 I would just really early five. Early four in between there. Oh, okay. So Colette and I enjoyed drinking coffee and reading the Bible together. And it's not something we've always done together. But in the last four or five years, we've made that an everyday part of our schedule. And honestly, if you're a listener, we used to think that we needed to go and run and make sure we get 30 minutes of cardiovascular activity every day or at least three times a week. Speaker 3 But we've learned that drinking coffee with some hazelnut cream and reading the Bible together does more for us than going out and running five miles every day. So that's a fun fact about us. That's my favorite part of the day. I look forward to getting up and reading the Bible with my wife. Speaker 2 That that's good to know. Okay, so if I wanted to really make Lee mad, I'm going to skip that one because I don't use. Speaker 3 The next question. Speaker 2 You're not getting that. Okay. So last last question. You ready? Yeah. Are you excited? Speaker 3 If this is the last one, I'm happy. This. This is it? Yes. Speaker 2 Finish this sentence. Speaker 3 Okay. Speaker 2 One thing I know for sure is. Speaker 3 This is not going to be spiritual, but one thing I know for sure is my wife is going to scratch my back tonight before I go to bed. Speaker 3 Every night. That's what we did, right? We do that. And, well, we do pray together, too. I know that audience doesn't want to keep hearing all that stuff, but yeah, she's scratch scratches your back and I'll scratch hers too. I love it. And that's how we'll go to bed. Speaker 2 I love it. Thank you. Lee Whitlock. Speaker 3 Thank you for coming on the podcast. Thank you all for having me today. Everyone, have a good day. Blessings to. Speaker 2 All. Thank you. Bye bye.