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Life Around "The Fire"
Life Around "The Fire"
Toxic Talk: Why That "Harmless" Gossip Is Actually Deadly
Have you ever met someone and immediately disliked them without clear reason? This raw honesty opens our exploration into gossip – not the harmless chatter we often dismiss it as, but a destructive force that tears through communities like a silent toxin.
Drawing from Rick Renner's powerful teaching, we unpack what scripture really says about gossip. The biblical term translated as "corrupt communication" comes from the Greek word phaulos – literally describing something rotten and maggot-filled. This visceral imagery helps us understand why gossip grieves the Holy Spirit and why scripture places it alongside serious offenses like wrath, strife, and arrogance.
Gossip thrives in whispers and secretive corners. It's talking about others' business, spreading unverified information, and speaking with false authority about matters that don't concern us. The damage extends far beyond momentary drama – gossip destroys reputations, creates division, erodes trust, and can trigger anxiety, depression, and isolation in its targets. In workplaces and church communities, it poisons morale, stifles innovation, and makes healing from past mistakes nearly impossible.
Breaking free requires courage. When someone approaches with "information" about another person, we can decline to participate, suggest asking the person directly, or gently explain why gossip is harmful. These small acts of resistance help create an alternative culture – one of honor and genuine care for others' dignity.
Imagine communities transformed by encouraging words instead of whispered criticisms. Such environments become magnetic, drawing people curious about what makes them different. That's our opportunity to share the true good news of Jesus Christ rather than the false "news" of gossip.
Ready to create gossip-free zones in your community? Connect with us at lifearoundthefire@gmail.com or visit our website to continue the conversation.
Loving Yeshua/Jesus, Loving people... Come as you are and you will be loved!
Feel free to check out our website by typing in lifearoundthefire.com or Life Around The Fire ... We think you'll find some beneficial stuff to look at and apply to your life.
Shalom to you and your home.
you know how it is, for some reason that there are, there are just some people that when you first meet them you just don't like them. I've had that feeling about people and I've had that feeling felt about me. I don't know why, but I just don't like you. And that can be sometimes, in fact oftentimes, if not all the time, a real snare, a real trap, a problem. It's not right. And the reason I bring that up two reasons.
Speaker 1:One is part of what we're going to be looking at in this particular podcast episode. It concerns this very common thing called gossip. And, you know, at first glance or just casual consideration, gossip sounds almost benign or a little bit tongue-in-cheek, like, ah, yeah, it's something like those Oftentimes, you know, viewed as what takes place in a circle of folks that are maybe elderly and perhaps elderly women in a knitting circle and they talk about other things that they shouldn't be talking about, and kind of like, ah, you know, a little bit of gossip, but a little bit of gossip might be what we think about concerning that issue of gossip when we look at it just casually. But gossip is actually pretty dangerous and because it is so common and it's oftentimes really hard to nail down, but it's harmful and it's in our midst. It's important for us to kind of do a public service here and deal with it, at least dial it up, because once it's dialed up again you can't unhear it and if you're involved in it it might be uncomfortable to hear what is being presented, because you know, sometimes if there's a pack of dogs right as an illustration, you have a pack of dogs and you throw a rock, just throw the rock and kind of aim at the pack of dogs, you can always tell the one that got hit because it yelps. Same type of thing when it comes to stuff like this. If you're part of it, if you're guilty of it, you're going to kind of yelp man and you might not even like it. But if you are willing to embrace the fact that this might be taking place or is taking place to you and through you, then it can be dealt with and you can be part of the solution instead of the problem and one more person can be out of the mix of this real unhealthy thing that occupies far too much of our church life across the nations.
Speaker 1:It's common everywhere, too common, but I believe that it's being purged out Always has been, but there's a concerted effort of purging it out, because God wants us to be united, to be one, and not just tolerating each other or nice to our faces, but in our hearts A God-like oneness, a God-like unity, a unity that only god can do, not people trying real hard to be united, but actually something that god does because of his life within us and creating unity because god is united. God is one and he has called us to be one, and gossip is not part of the kingdom of God. It has no place in it, and we are citizens of the kingdom of God and his culture, and so gossip has no business being in our lives and we have no business being involved in gossip. And so that's why I make mention of this thing. Sometimes, when you just meet someone, you just initially hear their stuff or initial contact. You say I don't know, I just like them, I just don't like them. Sometimes we start talking about that and it can turn into gossip. And we're going to give a little more definition to what gossip is, because it can be sometimes like trying to nail jello to a tree. You know it can be rather hard, you know, because it's gossip the word and because there are, you know, just, it can be rather vague you say, well, I'm not part of that. And yet if you really look at it and you see what it is, it kind of if you are, you either really have to almost get upset or you repent and you say I want to stop that. That's what we're hoping that there is, that there is a a turning away from this type of thing.
Speaker 1:And so the person that I had in my life at one time is actually someone I'm going to use as a reference point in this podcast, and his name is Rick Renner and he's a teacher. He's been around for teaching for like 45 years, so he's been around a long time, and when I first saw him and heard him, I just didn't like him. It had nothing to do with what he was saying or anything. I didn't like the way he looked, I didn't like the way he sounded and I didn't necessarily like the group of people that he was hanging with at the time, and so I just kind of I wrote him off. In fact, I participated in gossip about him until one day I was looking at something and he happened to come up on a show I was watching and I was like oh brother. And before I was like oh brother, and before I changed it, the Spirit of the Lord spoke, just gently but clearly in my heart and he said don't, don't, I, I've anointed Him. I have anointed Him and I like Him and I want you to listen to him. And I stopped and the Lord pointed out to me that I had been judgmental. I had put a period and end of conversation. Well, not so quick, right, not so quick. There, seabiscuit Settle down.
Speaker 1:And so he has this wonderful brief teaching concerning gossip. Brief teaching concerning gossip. And it's just entitled what God Thinks About People who Gossip. And he uses as one of his baselines in the scriptures Ephesians, chapter 4, verse 29,. That says let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to use for edification or for the use of edifying.
Speaker 1:And then he tells a story and I'm going to read the story he said when I was a young man, my family attended a church where the pastor was a fabulous Bible teacher. Wednesday night services were my favorite because this is when he would really open the word of God and teach us. But there's one aspect of the Wednesday night service that I absolutely despised. It was a gossiping church member who always made her stand at the end, made her stand at the end, running her mouth as soon as the church was finished. This woman would stand to the side, peering at others and whispering about them behind their backs. But whenever the subject of her gossip approached her little click, she'd stop whispering and smile at him or her so nicely and graciously. I hated the hypocrisy of this gossiper's behavior and never understood how she could talk so badly about people immediately after hearing the word of God taught with such power. I remember how this woman always looked so elated when she found a new choice morsel of information about someone else at church that she could start broadcasting. Yet most that she was gossiping about was based on hearsay. She didn't even know if the tidbits she shared were factual, as long as they were enticing to hear. She knew she'd always have a small clan of devoted listeners. But even if the things this woman gossiped about had been factual, she had no business talking about them with others. How does God feel about people who gossip?
Speaker 1:Ephesians 4.29 says Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers. The following verse continues to say and grieve not the Holy Spirit of God. The implication is that when corrupt communication comes out of a believer's mouth, it causes the Holy Spirit to be grieved. You see, gossip is a sin that grieves the Holy Spirit. Did you notice that Paul calls it corrupt communication? Calls it corrupt communication. This phrase comes from the Greek word P-H-A-U-L-O-S phallos, which refers to something that stinks or to something that is rotting, such as meat that is full of maggots. This kind of communication is dead, decaying and it stinks. It's offensive to the Spirit of God and it grieves him.
Speaker 1:Gossip is so destructive and offensive that Paul forbids gossip in 2 Corinthians 12, verse 20. In this verse Paul says Corinthians, chapter 12, verse 20. In this verse Paul says for I fear lest when I come I shall not find you such as I would, and that I shall be found unto you as you would not, lest there be debates, envyings, laughs, stripes, backbiting, whisperings, swelling tumults. Do you not see the word whisperings? This is the Greek word psithurimos, which means gossip. To make sure we know how evil gossip is, paul lists it side by side with several other horrible attitudes and actions. He places gossip right alongside with debates, which is actually translated as words, quarrels or wranglings.
Speaker 1:Wrath from the Greek word thermos, portraying a person who suddenly flares up and loses his control of some kind of unresolved, deep-seated anger. Right someone who suddenly flares up and loses his control of some kind of unresolved, deep-seated anger. This is a person who literally boils over with anger and blows up, erupting in an ugly outburst that negatively affects other people. Strifes this is the picture of people taking sides in the church, thus dividing, splitting and splintering the church into opposing factions. Backbiting this is something that can be translated as the word slander. Whisperings this is the idea of a gossiper. The reason they whisper is that they know this kind of talk is wrong and they get in trouble for what they were saying. Therefore, they whisper their tidbits of information or their secrets to others quietly. Swellings this is the person who is puffed up in pride about something that isn't even important. Nevertheless, he has allowed this thing to delude him into a false sense of over-significance or even being better than others. This word could also be translated as the word arrogance.
Speaker 1:Now Rick goes on to say let's be sure we understand what the word gossip describes. It describes a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts, rumors or reports of an intimate nature that are none of his business. For instance, gossip would include talking about other people's business and things that concern you people's business and things that concern you. Repeating what someone else said, even though you don't know whether it's true or not. Talking to others as if you were an authority about matters that are other people's business, when in reality you don't know what you're talking about. You're talking about.
Speaker 1:In a certain sense, gossip is like a deadly poison. It hurts people, it kills relationships and destroys trust. In the workplace, gossip usually happens between two employees who have become friends and feel like they could truly share with each other. There are often people who have been offended or hurt by the one who is the subject of their gossip. Therefore, every rumor they hear becomes a choice morsel to share with others who are offended by that same person. This is what Proverbs 18.8 is talking about when it says the word of a gossiper are like choice morsels. They go down to a man's innermost parts.
Speaker 1:Gossip is usually based on hearsay. It is usually inaccurate, it creates suspicion and it divides people. It is so evil that I absolutely forbid it in our ministry. I say praise God. It is interesting to note. The Greek word for gossip means to whisper. This means that gossip almost always takes place in secret. Just think about it. Where does gossip usually take place?
Speaker 1:If you have engaged in gossip in the past, you've probably listened to someone tell you information, hearsay about other people, which you then whispered to someone else In the woman's bathroom at the office, in your office, when the doors were closed and no one was watching or listening. In the lunch break room when it was only you and the other person to whom you were talking. In a prayer meeting, where other people often whisper about others under the camouflage of prayer, in a corner where the boss, director, pastor or subject to gossip couldn't hear what you were saying. You need to know that Gospers usually attract to each other like magnets. When they get together, they see things alike and therefore begin to think that they are right. They form a little faction inside the office or church, often concluding that they are doing God's business as they meet together to discuss all the things that they are talking about.
Speaker 1:And he concludes by saying, since the word gossip really means to whisper, it would be good, when you are about, to tell something to someone you've heard, to ask yourself first will I say these things publicly? Will I say this in front of the person I'm talking about? If your answer is no, you can conclude that you shouldn't say it privately either. So I urge you not to allow the devil to snag you and drag you into the sin of gossip. James 3.8 tells us that the tongue is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison, but you can refuse to be the source of gossip or to participate in it when it takes place. If you really love Jesus, why would you want to participate in something that will poison people's opinions and ultimately divide and hurt others? Think of it If it were you who people were talking about, wouldn't it be hurtful to you to discover that you were talking this way behind your back? It is too hurtful to get into this business. If you have to whisper, then you probably shouldn't be saying it at all. In fact, a good rule to live by is this If you can't say it publicly, don't say it at all.
Speaker 1:Make the decision today to refrain from gossip and stay away from those who practice it. Wow, wow, and this is a guy that I, for some reason, I didn't like. Like I said, I didn't like the way he looked, I didn't like the way he sounded and I didn't like the people that he hung out with. But I was wrong and I want to publicly say that I really think that the wisdom that comes from God to and through this man's ministry is very good, and so I'm going to read some things from my notes and then we'll cap things off, and I realize this is a little bit of a heavy and potentially touchy subject, but it's a good. It's good to address, it's important to address, needs to be addressed, and so we're addressing it. Address it's important to address, it needs to be addressed, and so we're addressing it. So, in my notes, gossip can be harmful consequences. Excuse me, gossip can have harmful consequences, ranging from damaged relationships and reputation to reduced trust and increased conflict. It can also lead to mental health issues such as anxiety, depression and low self-esteem For the person being gossiped about.
Speaker 1:In the workplace. Gossip can negatively impact morale, productivity and employee retention. Here's a more detailed look at the potential dangers Harm to individuals, damaged relationships. Gossip can strain or break friendships and family bonds, especially if it involves betraying competences or spreading untruths. Reputation damage Gossip can tarnish a person's reputation, leading to mistrust and isolation. Mental health issues being the target of gossip can lead to anxiety, depression and low self-esteem, and in some cases, even suicidal thoughts. Erosion of trust Gossip can erode trust within social circles, workplaces and communities. Physical health the stress caused by gossip can negatively impact physical health as well as mental health. Harm in workplaces. Decreased morale and productivity Gossip can create a negative work environment, leading to lower morale and reduced productivity. Strained relationships Gossip can damage relationships between colleagues, leading to distrust and tension. Loss of good employees A toxic work environment created by gossip can lead to good employees leaving Other dangers.
Speaker 1:Spreading misinformation Gossip can involve spreading rumors and false information, which can be harmful and damaging. Feeling of isolation the target of gossip may feel isolated and excluded from social circles. Cultivation of negativity Engaging in gossip can cultivate a culture of negativity and judgment. Personal gain Gossip can be used to manipulate situations, gain power or even get revenge. Gain power or even get revenge A little bit more.
Speaker 1:Gossip can be incredibly damaging to a small community by fostering division, eroding trust and hindering overall well-being. It can create a toxic environment, damage reputations and make it difficult for individuals to move forward from making mistakes or challenging times Right. Here's a more detailed look at the negative effects of gossip. Damage to reputation Gossip, even if not strictly false, can unjustly damage someone's reputation by revealing true or false faults, leading to feelings of isolation and exclusion. Erosion of trust. Rumors and misinformation can create a toxic atmosphere where residents feel uncomfortable and insecure in their homes.
Speaker 1:Division and lack of community. Gossipers can foster division, weaken social bonds and reduce the sense of community that's often valued in small towns, hindered progress and innovation. Gossip can create an environment where individuals are hesitant to share ideas or take risks, potentially stifling progress and innovation. Impact on relationships Negative gossip can strain friendships, family relationships and even romantic relationships, leading to communication difficulties and lack of trust. Mental and emotional harm Almost done Excuse me, turn the page, difficulty moving forward. Gossip can make it challenging for individuals to learn from mistakes or move on from difficult situations, potentially prolonging negative emotions and behaviors. Perpetration of negative behavior Engaging in or perpetuating gossip can normalize and encourage negative behaviors, creating a culture where toxic communication is accepted. Gossip, detraction and calumny are harmful to communities because they turn people against each other and, in general, do not foster a loving environment between those who ought to be friends. Spreading gossip and enjoying the drama is offensive to others' dignity.
Speaker 1:That about sums it up, and I think it's clear, or clearer, now that gossip is not just some silly little thing that people do, that you know. You got to kind of tolerate it and you know it's not all that harmful. No, it actually can be lethal. I know I have been part of it, guilty of it in the past and with God's help I have been not only freed from it inwardly but I no longer express it outwardly Now. We don't need a bunch of cops you know gossip police running around trying to find out who's gossiping. But I believe there are ways in which we can address it and I think that's what this is really about.
Speaker 1:Also, that you know if you find someone trying to share gossip with you, initially just don't be, don't just say you know what, I'm not interested, and let it hang there, because sometimes that's enough. Or you might want to say you know, I think I'm going to ask the person that you're talking about whether or not that's true and you'll find a very different reaction coming from the person sharing the information. Or you can be very direct in saying you know, don't do that man, that's wrong. But then to go around telling other people about them kind of defeats the purpose. So if they receive the correction from you, amen. And if not, well then you know there are other steps that we need to take.
Speaker 1:But right now it's important to put this thing out of our communities, man, out of our relationships, to be free and be rid of gossip and actually to have a community where the culture is one of honor, where we actually lift each other up and we don't tolerate gossip, and actually to have a community where the culture is one of honor, where we actually lift each other up and we don't tolerate gossip. We just don't do it, and that creates that environment that is so wonderful and attractive that it causes other people to say what's this all about? And then we can begin to share the gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ. Amen, amen, let's pray. Father, thank you for the clarity that you bring to us, god, really. Thank you for the clarity that you bring to us, god, really, and for loving us enough to get this situation under control, to correct and to discipline us, chastise us if need be, so that we can be free from these things that bring about such damage to individuals and to communities. Holy Spirit, we invite you to manifest the character and nature of Jesus in us, causing it to rise up and communicate in ways like he did, and he does His life, so that we can demonstrate it in love to you and to each other. And we thank you for that and we pray these things in the name of Jesus.
Speaker 1:Standing here. In his name, we say amen, amen, amen, amen, amen. All right, folks, I love you. If you have any thoughts, questions, concerns, please feel free to drop us a line at lifearoundthefire, at gmailcom, or type in lifearoundthefire and look us up on the web. We would love to hear from you In the meantime. God bless you. Adios amigos.