Unresolved Insecurities Quietly Undermines More Important Things

A single Hebrew phrase reframed our view of leadership: long of nose, the image of breathing before reacting, patience over impulse. From there, we enter 1 Samuel not as a sprint through headlines but as a twenty-year map of the soul, tracking how Saul rises with promise and then slowly trades anointing for applause. The drift is subtle—unhealed insecurity, people-pleasing, and rushed decisions that look strategic but starve the inner life. We unpack why momentum can outlast presence, how warnings accumulate, and what it means when the Spirit’s covering lifts not in a moment but over years.

We also examine Israel’s demand for a king like the other nations and how that desire still echoes when we copy models that deliver optics without covenant depth. Fear becomes the byproduct of leadership detached from love: anxiety, control, envy, and division. Yet the thread of hope runs strong. Confession restores clarity. Repentance realigns desire. Across communities, rivalry is giving way to cooperation as leaders choose presence over platform and steward unity around God’s word and glory. This is not a seminar in tactics; it’s a return to covenant identity where perfect love casts out fear and obedience outruns approval.

We close with a candid invitation and a prayer: bring your whole self to God—faults, flaws, and all. Ask for a clean heart and a right spirit. Choose the slow formation that keeps you anchored when pressure says hurry. If this conversation stirred something in you, share it with a friend, subscribe for more, and leave a review with one insight you’re taking into your week. Your voice helps others find this space.

Chapters

• 0:00 Long Of Nose: God’s Patience
• 3:42 Why 1 Samuel Still Hits Home
• 6:12 Saul’s Rise And Slow Decline
• 9:02 Insecurity, People-Pleasing, And Disobedience
• 12:22 The Spirit Lifts Slowly, With Warnings
• 15:12 Wanting A King Like Other Nations
• 18:02 Fear As The Fruit Of Disconnection
• 20:52 Leadership Off The Rails Without Anointing
• 23:52 Alignment, New Alliances, And Hope

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:53

It was a while back that we looked at a word, it's a Hebrew word called pronounced Eric Epaim, and it means long suffering, or the literal translation is long of nose. Long of nose or long of nostril. And long of nostril, long suffering, slow to anger, or the word picture is someone kind of taking a big deep breath before they say something that they just need to think about again before they say it. They are taking a deep breath, they're long of nostril. They are long suffering. And long suffering is one of the character qualities of the love of God. That God in his love is long suffering, or he's slow to anger, and he's quick to forgive versus him being quick to be angry and slow to forgive. Because sometimes I'm the person who is quick to get angry, and it takes me a while to warm up to forgiveness. But the love of God, God's love, his character, his nature, his holiness, unlike anyone else, his uniqueness is that he's long suffering, and he is quick to forgive. And the reason that we're talking about that again today is that we're looking into the book of 1 Samuel, and we've been in the book of 1 Samuel for quite some time now, and this is going to be one of the final installments that we're going to be doing for a while concerning 1 Samuel. But one of the reasons that I love reading the book of 1 Samuel is because it's full of stories. And I'm a story kind of guy. I love telling stories, I love hearing true good stories, I love even hearing a good fictitious, you know, story when it just is well done. And storytelling is something that is as old as time itself. And the Bible is full of rich, meaningful stories, and we're looking right now at the life of King Saul and how his story, we pick it up in basically 1 Samuel chapter 8, and we're right now at 1 Samuel chapter 16. And if a person were to read those chapters out loud, it would probably take about I don't know, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, maybe up to half an hour, depending. But it took over 20 years for those chapters to be lived out. And so sometimes when we're reading it, it seems like everything was happening just one thing right after another. But in all reality, some of these things were drawn out over a period of time. And Saul's story, we we pick up his story, and it was starts out really actually pretty good. And but it ends up pretty sad because of the decisions that Saul made along the way. And the decisions that he made oftentimes were based upon some internal things that were unresolved in Saul's life. Things that involved sin and some of his moral weaknesses, areas that were character weaknesses or flaws. And some of us know by experience that when we're placed in a place of leadership, not only are good opportunities in front of us, but sometimes the things that are unresolved and undealt with within us get pushed to the surface. Things that we didn't even realize were there come to the forefront. And depending on who we are and our makeup, it determines what we do with those things when they come to the forefront. We can either try to hide them or we can deal with them, whether that's through repentance or through some other means, but to deal with the things that come to the forefront versus trying to hide them or make excuses for them. And unfortunately, things in the life of Saul, such as inferiority and his tendencies toward being a people pleaser, he loved the approval of people. And he loved to try to please them to get those accolades, and sometimes he would compromise his own position as a king to receive the approval of people because of his insecurities. Those are lethal things, it's a lethal combination to have undealt with if you're a leader. Deep-seated insecurities and a tendency toward being a people pleaser. The need to have the accolades of people, sometimes even over the approval of God or obeying the word of the Lord. And we're looking at that in a statement that was made concerning Saul's decisions that had taken place over the course of probably twenty to twenty five years. So it wasn't overnight that this statement was made. But in first Samuel chapter 16, verse 14, we read, Now the spirit of the Lord had departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord tormented him. Now the spirit of the Lord had left Saul, which means at one point in time the spirit of the Lord was upon him and had anointed him to be king of Israel. But because of decisions that Saul made over the course of that twenty to twenty-five year period of time ultimately led to the hand of the Lord being lifted from him. But the hand of the Lord, the Spirit of the Lord, did not lift off from him immediately. And that is the thing that I want to highlight. The fact that people in place of leadership can start out anointed by the Spirit of God, but because of undealt with issues in one's life, in the life of that leader, because those undealt with things, such as inferiority and a need to be a people pleaser, to name those two, and those are common things, to have those undealt with can produce this thing in the end where through disobedience, God can no longer bless the work that you're involved in. But the thing about the hand of the Lord or the Spirit of the Lord lifting off of a person or a ministry is that it takes so long. It's not an overnight thing. In fact, if you were overnight, it might be something that perhaps would capture our attention, but in life of Saul, it wasn't as though there weren't warnings. There were ample warnings. But Saul disregarded those warnings and continued on in the areas of rebellion and in the areas of him trying to get from people and from religion that which can only come as a result of relationship with God. And Israel, Israel, the nation of Israel, its leadership, who had gone to Samuel, the prophet, and had said to him, We want a king. And he pressured Samuel to inquire from the Lord and get them a king just like the other nations had. And sometimes it looks like they have more. And maybe they do have more things. And can oftentimes portray themselves as being completely satisfied with those things. Or maybe it might even be a religion. They are declaring that they are content with this religion versus having a living relationship, a covenant relationship with God.

SPEAKER_01: 13:18

It's amazing that people can be deceived, but it's true.

SPEAKER_00: 13:29

I don't believe any of us want to admit that we're capable of it, meaning capable of being deceived. But the reality is there is the possibility for each of us to be deceived if we not have our security and our identity found in the Lord. If we place our identity and our security on something or someone else, it's going to bring about a downfall. We're going to find ourselves falling. And King Saul did. Much like Samson did, and other people have all throughout history, have fallen out of relationship, out of covenant relationship with God, and have experienced the results of life outside of that relationship. And it has consequences to it. And one of the consequences is having a life filled with fear. Fear of and then fill in the blanks. Fear of not having enough. Those fears are the direct result of life outside of God. Because in covenant with God, literally, all fear is set aside because perfect love, perfect, the love of God casts out all fear. And Saul, unfortunately, in the place of the spirit of God being upon him, he had a spirit that came to him that was just like the spirit that's found in the kings of the other nations. It was an evil spirit. Israel got what they wanted. They got a king just like the king of the other nations, one who is demonized. They didn't bargain for that, but that's what they got. In fact, God told them ahead of time that that's what would happen when they tried to get things from God that were out of time. It wasn't the time for that to take place, but because they pressured it to take place prematurely, they got a premature thing. And in the end, it was disastrous. Saul began doing other wild and crazy things in the name of being king. And he did it because he could. And that's what takes place when leadership starts becoming one that's off the rails. It starts doing its own thing, no longer anointed. But because previously it had been able, or a person has been able to do things, they continue to do them or try to do them. And when you try to do it without the anointing, it's disastrous. And we have many people who are creating disastrous situations for those who are following them because they are no longer anointed by the Lord, even though they claim to have inspiration from God or at least entitlement because of their position. But God faithfully is bringing those things down as this time of alignment that we're in across the nations is coming to its conclusion, and some other things are going to be taking place once that alignment and realignment has reached its completion now. Because God is still realigning things and aligning things, creating strategic alliances and relationships. Where once there were not relationships in the body Christ, relationships are sprouting up amongst leaders. Where once there was competition, there's now cooperation and a strong desire to come together because of the because of the presence of the Lord and his glory. Hallelujah. We are living in that day, in that hour. But it's important for us to take note of the fact that when we no longer obey God, but we look to somehow succumb to inferiority and insecurity within us, instead of having those things dealt with, whether or not we need to or whether we need to repent from that or have things we need to be delivered from evil. Either way, we need to, as leaders, and specifically speaking to those who are leaders, we need to be willing to confess our sins one to another, and we need to be willing to ask forgiveness from God and from one another for things that we have done that had compromised our ability to function as leaders. God wants to redeem us from those things. He wants to create servant leaders that are strong and confident in him and in covenant relationship with him and in alignment with that covenant, where there's joy, where there's peace, where there's righteousness, instead of there being fear, guilt, condemnation, doubt, oppression, anxiety, division, strife, envy.

SPEAKER_01: 20:39

Things that are unfortunately the byproduct of life outside of relationship with God.

SPEAKER_00: 20:51

And we are called. To promote and highlight the reality of the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross and his supremacy over sin and death, and the fact that we are called into a covenant relationship with Him, and by virtue of His blood, we are cleansed from our sins, and we have received salvation, the healing of body, soul, and spirit. And we have right relationship with God, and we have the potential of right relationship with one another, and the ability to become one even as God is one. Hallelujah. We're living in those days, and to participate and cooperate with God, we are capable of both hosting and stewarding his glory, his presence. And it's going to be his presence and his glory that are going to continue to unite us. And in the context of that, his word will become alive in our midst and will bring about its intended purposes, where God said, I am watching over my word to perform it. Not just any old word, but his word. And he has given to us his word. Hallelujah. His precious and great promises are found to be amen and yes in Christ Jesus. So we stand firm in relationship with him and bring all of ourselves to him, even our faults and our flaws, because he knows him anyway. And he says he wants us to bring everything to him. And so right now, I want to pray, man. I want to pray. Father, we bring ourselves to you, and we invite you by your spirit to consume us with your holy fire, with your presence, and we would be a holy offering, a living sacrifice that's acceptable to you. And that would be our reasonable service of worship. We honor you and we thank you for who you are and what you're doing. And we invite you to continue to manifest yourself to us and through us. And do not take your Holy Spirit from us, O God, but restore unto us a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us. That we would not be cast away from your presence, but we would dwell in the house of the Lord forever. And we stand here and we pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and our Savior, Yeshua Hamashiach, our Messiah. Amen, amen, amen, amen. Alright, folks, we love you. And if you have any thoughts, questions, concerns, please feel free to type in Life Around the Fire as our email address or type in Life Around the Fire and look us up on the web. We would love to hear from you. In the meantime, God bless you. Adios, amigos.