Maturity, Mercy, And The Scarlet Thread

Ever wonder why some leaders break under pressure while others are shaped by it? We open up about hitting bottom, mistaking substitutes for the presence of God, and why honest surrender can reset both the mind and the soul. From Saul’s unraveling to the first steps toward David, the path is sobering and hopeful: consequences teach, grace restores, and real growth comes when relationship outruns performance.

We dig into how our brains actually mature—synaptic pruning, myelination, and the shift from impulse to wise judgment around age twenty-five—and why that matters for spiritual formation. Rather than shaming the past, we show how design and discipleship work together: practice builds pathways, community steadies choices, and the Holy Spirit doesn’t bypass our wiring but brings it to life. This lens reframes leadership struggles, decision-making, and the patience required to move from reaction to discernment.

We also examine why copying “successful” ministry programs often falls flat. Calling is contextual, lanes matter, and unity comes from complementary strengths, not one-size-fits-all strategies. As we pivot from Saul’s warning signs to David’s worshipful resilience, we trace the scarlet thread that points to Jesus—a king who leads through listening, waiting, and love that casts out fear. If you’re hungry for practical wisdom, spiritual depth, and an honest look at how people truly change, you’ll feel seen and strengthened here.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who leads or serves, and leave a review to help others find it. What lesson from Saul or David is shaping your next step?

Chapters

• 1:00 What Makes Us Human
• 3:49 Hitting Bottom And Finding Grace
• 5:53 Substitutes For The Spirit
• 7:24 Lessons From Saul’s Downfall
• 9:15 The Weight Of Leadership
• 11:59 Our Mission And Commitments
• 13:46 How The Brain Matures
• 16:53 Impulse, Pruning, And Clarity
• 19:37 From Emotion To Reason
• 20:42 Spiritual Growth And Staying In Lane
• 23:09 Context Over Copying Ministry Models
• 25:32 Growing Up Together In Purpose

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:31

Most all of my life I've been fascinated with what makes us tick. What makes us tick as human beings? Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. What makes us tick? What makes us unique? What makes me unique from you, you from someone else, and so on and so on. Yet we share things that are common, that we do have something that unites us, that we stand together on while all this other stuff is going on in our individual lives. I've been fascinated with how our brains, our physical brains, how they how they function, how amazing the tool that we have in us, our brains. Computers the highest level of A1 activity in computer programming cannot completely imitate and compete with people. I mean it can come close, but it can't just quite be a person. It's kind of like religion. Religion, you can kinda kinda get close to doing spiritual stuff, but not really. That we are capable of thinking and behaving differently than we did ten years ago. And for me, I say thank God. Because ten years ago, my life was in utter shambles. My physical health was failing me on almost every level. And my it's my private life. What most people didn't see, but what I lived with was just so unhealthy. Not just to me, but to people around me. I was pulling people down and I was drowning, and then I was pulling them down with me. Thankfully, thank God he intervenes. And in my situation, it it took the one-step program to get my attention. I had to experience something very significant to catch, uh, you know, pull me away from what I was involved in because it I was at the end of my trying to do things. And like I said before, you know, there's something that come close. And for me, drugs and alcohol, you know, a combination of drugs, mixing alcohol with other drugs, I could massage things inwardly to kind of come close to feeling like a person feels, like I feel when I'm anointed by the Spirit of God to function in things of his kingdom and to reveal Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. There is no comparison to the feeling that comes when you are under that influence. Any other spirit, whether it's vodka or beer or wine or a combination of other drugs, or the spirits that are behind that, literally the demonic powers that are behind that, cannot be exactly like God. Because God is holy and he's unique, and what he provides is unique. But nonetheless, we all go through some things that are pretty common, pretty similar. And one of those areas that I'm looking at right now, and actually in this particular podcast episode, we're we're just now wrapping up on the life of Saul in our podcast series, and we're going to be moving into the life of David, King David, which we've in look at the end of Saul's life, it's kind of a it's it's heavy, it's really harsh. As far as how this man, in the end, had to face the effects of his decisions, and it was harsh, man. I mean, what he brought on himself, it was, like I said, it would harsh. And so we're not gonna be staying there, but we have to look at it because there are things in life that are hard. I mean, there just are. There are things in life that are hard, especially if you're in the place of leadership. You're going to run into hard things, man. Really hard things. They're gonna go way beyond your ability to just think through it or what you have read in the book, totally different than that. And you're gonna be in a place of people looking to you for some direction. And you might not have really any to speak of, but nonetheless, you're a leader. So you're gonna find difficulties in life. I speak from experience, and I can share my feelings of just understanding with those of you who are going through some things as a leader. Challenges. And we've looked at the life of Saul, and we've you know, found some things that, you know, I've I found some things that I looked at and said, man, that's that's dangerously close to my thinking. Too close for comfort. I need to change. I need to repent. I need to change my ways and change my thoughts, change my direction on certain things, and I'm doing it. And so there's a benefit in seeing those harsh things or hard things, but to stay there, man, that can I can that that that leads to kind of a sour lifestyle. And that's not a good representation of life in the kingdom of God, but it is a reality that we deal with, hard things. But in kind of wrapping that time up and moving into the life of David, I wanted to give a little bit of an overview of where we are as a podcast ministry and a lot of other things going on in life around the fire other than podcasting. Podcasting is something that we do primarily as a service to the body of Christ and those who are seeking relationship with God, so that we can grow in relationship with Him and in relationship with one another. Because relationship is really where it's at. And so we've committed at Life Around the Fire to bring to you as best as we know how, and we're learning more, but how we function now, we're doing our best to bring to you both the word of the Lord, and when we say this is something that's from the Lord, we really mean that. It's not just a shtick that we use to get more listenership.

SPEAKER_00: 9:16

Some people do that.

SPEAKER_01: 9:19

And on their behalf, or on behalf of all the others in podcasting that don't do that, man, I'm sorry that you run into that. I I I do too, and it's a it's a waste of time, energy, and money. And so we've made a commitment not to be that. Anyway, and but what we've committed ourselves to is this to hearing the Lord and speaking what we believe he's shown us in both his scriptures and then speaking to us personally in the logos and the remah, word of God. And right now, I'm sharing with you some things pertaining to my own personal life and some of my observations. So this is not really the word of the Lord coming to you through me, but this is me saying to you and those who I'm in a relationship with on a closer level, this is so much stuff that I'm going through, I'm seeing, and I think it could be beneficial to you, and it's beneficial to our relationship. So, one of the things I've noticed in our brains, just think about our physical lives and our physical brains. If we could see, if we could see all the things that are going on inside of us, it would be one of the most amazing documentaries that anyone could ever put together. The activity that goes on underneath our skin and even on our skin, our physical bodies, is phenomenal. Our earth suit, so to speak, this body that we wear is fearfully and wonderfully made, meaning it's phenomenal. And in our physical brains, we have this thing that takes place somewhere around the age of twenty five. And it's a unique thing that happens inside of our brain, and that is our literally a time of maturing takes place, as I said, in and around the age of twenty-five. And there's a connection that happens in our prefrontal cortex, or in that area of our brain that processes our emotions and the consequences that come on in our activity in life. And it's amazing to find out that it is it has elasticity to it, meaning it can change, it can flex, but it's also impressionable, and things in life make impressions on it, and sometimes we make decisions in our youth that are different when we are in our later twenties. It's because of the function that's going on inside of our brain. There's a maturing that takes place, takes place, excuse me, in our prefrontal cortex. That's the last part of our brain to develop. It's the area, if you look at our foreheads and you picture the brain and its form right behind your forehead is your prefrontal cortex. And it regulates our emotions and our logical reasoning and our impulsive behaviors. So if you ever find yourself being overly impulsive, you just want to spend money that you don't have, but you want to spend it because you get a feeling what happens when you spend money, that's an impulse. Or if you go to a grocery store and you're right in a checkout lane and you look at some of the stuff that's just before you check out your grocery goods, there's this stuff that's on these shelves that's for impulse buying. Last minute, oh, I need that. You don't really need it. You saw it and you like it, but you have an impulse to do that. Well, prior to our mature brain, we have a developing brain or an immature brain. And when we are a child, we do childish things, but when we grow, we do different things, or we should anyway, or we can, because there's a change that takes place in our physical brain. And what takes it's amazing in that that there's actually a pruning, a synaptic pruning. The brain, our brain refines itself by eliminating unused connections. Our brain literally goes through a time in which we have a like a security check and we go through our we clean our system. We have a system cleaning that goes on, and unused connections are done away with, eliminated, and essential pathways for faster communication are opened up. This is all going on in our sleep.

SPEAKER_00: 15:01

Or if we're awake, it is not something that you're doing to yourself, it's something that's happening.

SPEAKER_01: 15:09

And so we start doing different things, and we are able to see things differently, which means that we can handle things differently. And there's a technical term that's called my elanation, my elanation, and my elanation is where the white matter in our brain continues to form and increases the speed of nerve impulses while it enhances cognitive inefficiency and communication between brain regions, so we are able to think more clearly and see more clearly on things than we did before. That's why when you're a child, there's some things that you're not allowed to do because it requires a more mature brain to handle. You don't give a three-year-old the car keys and say go drive the car. Because their brain just wouldn't be able to handle all the things that go on with driving a car. But when you're older, you can physically handle different things. Isn't that amazing how we are so connected, interconnected, that our brains even talk and different regions talk to each other. As though they're separate, but they're connected. And in many respects, they are. What an amazing piece of machinery that we have in our physical bodies. And last but not least, in this development of our brain that happens in and around the age of twenty-five, we transition from emotional to more rational decision making. The brain itself shifts from relying on the emotion-driven areas of our brain to the prefrontal cortex, which is a more rational-driven way of thinking. Literally, we are reprogrammed to think on a new level. Well, that takes place spiritually also. As well as even physical development. We don't we're not born out of our mother's womb full grown. Same thing spiritually, when we are born into the kingdom of God as a result of the powerful covenant act that God provides for us, in taking our old nature and nailing it to the cross with Jesus and giving us his nature, which is divine. But we're not born full grown. We're born as babies or as babes, and we need to have things given to us as babes, but we do grow up, and we want to grow up before we grow old. We don't want to be grown-up babies, and so the transition in life is something that's supposed to be taking place physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. We are reflecting on things and making sure that we're staying in our own lane. We're not looking over and saying, Well, what's this guy doing and trying to do that, and keeping our eyes off what really is our primary mission? And our primary mission is relationship with God and one another, enhancing that, building on that, but also learning how to host and steward the glory of the Lord and function in the beauty of holiness. What that really means. And some of those words dial up images that are absolutely unrelated to anything that we are committed to. And so God's giving us the ability to share along those lines, but to help provide a different narrative in it by painting a different picture. A true one, a one that is based upon our own experiences, not just upon something that we have had given to us to read.

SPEAKER_00: 20:20

And it's a funny thing, what may have been functional previously, let's say a program of doing things was really successful in feeding the poor or having a great counseling outreach.

SPEAKER_01: 20:42

And it's a program that is shifted over to another location and it's duplicated, it may not fit in that other area. And in the attempt to duplicate it, it falls flat. Not everything is meant to be like one size fits all. If it's good there, it's got to be good here. No, each person in each ministry needs to know what lane they're in and stay in it and become really good at that, and then have good relationships with other people who have other strengths, so that together we are one, not just one individual doing everything, one individual doing everything, instead of a variety of people doing what they're good at, focused on one thing or one person. So we're in that time of evaluating where we've been and some of the things that we see that have been successful or that have been good, and some that have been a waste of time, energy, and money. Fortunately, we're doing it in an adult fashion because God has taken us through some things in life, and now we're passing some of those lessons on. And you know what? It's really enjoyable to see the response that many of you are giving back to us. We're being listened to around the world. What's up? Because we're marketing this thing like a program to be sold. Yeah. Huh, I know you know. I know too. Far too many that are like that. But fortunately, there are many others that are sharing things like this. Just being open and honest, but also intentional in our relationships. Relationships being an end in themselves, but also to have some that are purposeful. Strategic alliances so we can see things accomplished. We can grow up and we can actually do the stuff that Jesus said we are designed to do. We're designed to function as kingdoms of the citizen. Excuse me, we are designed to function as citizens of the kingdom of God. We're built that way. We're built to function with the supernatural power of God flowing through us.

SPEAKER_00: 23:38

If we do it in the way of Jesus, how he did it.

SPEAKER_01: 23:47

He said that he didn't do anything or say anything except in relationship with the Father, that he saw the Father doing or heard the Father saying. They were face to face. Not just side to side, they were interfacing, close relationship.

SPEAKER_00: 24:05

Hallelujah.

SPEAKER_01: 24:10

So we're going to be moving into looking at the life of David, and we're going to be looking into the life of David so we can see Jesus in the life of David walking through the Old Testament, into the New Testament, into our lives. We're seeing his footprints walking all throughout the Old Testament, the scarlet thread. And folks, it's amazing. So hold on. It's going to be enjoyable to have more and more guests coming into the studio to help build on what we're doing and together bringing our magnifying glasses together so that we can magnify the Lord. Hallelujah. Let's pray. Father, thank you once again for who you are and for how you're doing things.

SPEAKER_00: 25:11

We love you. We love you. And thank you for teaching us how to love each other. That you're helping us put away competition.

SPEAKER_01: 25:26

And you're casting out all fear by your perfect love. Your perfect love is casting out fear in my life, God. I thank you for it. And I ask that that would continue to take place all throughout the nations. And those listening to this podcast, that they would experience the reality of you casting out all fear.

SPEAKER_00: 25:46

Deliver us from evil. Hallelujah. We look to you, Lord, and we honor you.

SPEAKER_01: 25:57

And we stand here in the name of Jesus and declare these things to be true. Hallelujah. Amen. Amen. Amen. All right, folks. Amen. We love you. If you have any thoughts, questions, or concerns, feel free to drop us a line at lifearoundthefire at gmail.com. Or you can type in Life Around the Fire and look us up on the web. We would love to hear from you. In the meantime, God bless you. Adios, amigos.