Daily American
Unbiased, Unedited, & Unconventional platform where YOU have a voice
Episodes released Wednesday’s at 9:00am EST
info@dailyamericanpodcast.com
@dailyamericanpodcast
Daily American
Pastor 2 OnlyFans
Through Articulation, Becca recounts her challenging return to religious roots, shaped by early indoctrination and the quest for genuine connection within a church community. This story sets the stage for her transformative life in Ohio, where faith and community catalyzed new beginnings.
Becca opens up about the emotional turmoil and isolation often experienced during such transitions, shedding light on the darker realities within religious institutions. The conversation also highlights her journey toward liberation from fear and shame, and how these changes have influenced her approach to parenting and spirituality. Becca's candid reflections provide a universal perspective on faith, urging listeners to embrace an open-minded understanding of human experience.
Finally, we tackle the often-taboo topics of marriage and divorce, challenging societal and religious expectations. Through Becca's story, we explore the importance of personal happiness over conformity, introducing the concept of "uncoupling" as a healthier approach to separation. Alright f*ck this.....just head to her Only Fans
OnlyFans: Bekah Slider
IG: @bekahslider
FB: bekahslider
Podcast: Listen on Apple or Listen on Spotify
...and next week Join me as I welcome Christian pastor Tyler Feller to the Show!
A 501C3 to combat the mental health struggles which come with service to the United States
Info@dailyamericanpodcast.com
Okay.
Speaker 2:So I've been in it all. Then I, at around 15, I'm like, fuck, all this shit, this is stupid. I can't do this anymore. I don't even I don't want to subscribe to any of this, because for me, my dad is a hypocrite. That's how it felt like. It's like what? What are these? All these hypocrites everywhere? I just I can't even get on board with this stuff anymore. So I left, did my own thing until I was about 20.
Speaker 2:But this is often when people closer in their adult life end up getting saved. Or back at church or recommitting their life to the Lord is when they typically have some type of it's not always, but some type of trauma right when they're feeling really lonely, really broken, really fucked up. And so that's what happened to me. I had a two-year relationship with a really narcissistic, abusive man, and after I got out of that which took so much for me to get out of that I really just needed some sense of safety in my life, some sense of like, peace, some sense of like I was not a piece of shit. And so I ended up going back to church and that's where I met my, the guy who I ended up marrying, and he was in the Navy. So at the time it was like military, of course, virginia Beach, right, what do you expect? And then he's like, oh no, I want to get out and actually be in ministry. I was like, yeah, I was back to like. I was back to like subscribing to Christianity and like and taking it on. I don't do things half-heartedly. When I'm loyal to something, I'm loyal. So I dove back in and I really found I really had a very strong relationship with Jesus Legit right, like I was the one who was the biggest worshiper when I took prayer serious, like this wasn't like a show for me, like it was legitimately became my identity, it's who I was and it was oozing out of every pore.
Speaker 2:And then we ended up moving to Ohio because he wanted to plant a church. No way, get the hell out. Now he's from here, he's from Ohio. So it wasn't that weird that he wanted to move here. So I was kind of along for the ride. So we got here. We ended up not church planning, we ended up partnering with another church that was in its baby stage kind of, and we ended up going on staff there. I was working on my counseling degree and so I have a natural like. I'm a natural leader. I have natural leadership tendencies and I love speaking, so it just it was like a perfect fit for me to just start working at the church, so I literally ended up on staff as a pastor for several years.
Speaker 1:Jeez, yeah, and now this church. When you say you started, he went to start playing. Why, like? Why not just join forces with the church that you guys were going to in Virginia?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a great question. Or find a church similar.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I believe that, based on everything he shared with me, and what he would answer that question to be, would be that he felt like this strong pull on his heart to come back to Ohio and to do ministry here and then, as far as a church plant goes, I honestly think that was a lot of brainwashing and I think he would agree with that now, right Like I don't think he knew that at the time, but he grew up with his entire life being told oh, you have a calling in your life, oh, you're supposed to go into ministry. And when you are a young child and you're being told that, you're basically being told the direction and it's from God, mouth from god. Can you imagine what that does to a person over time, after they've been told it again and again and again?
Speaker 1:it's like so, yeah, it's sick. It's sickening to even think about that because, like there's so much that's taken advantage of, I mean, yeah, he's you know it's not bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's sick, but anyhow, the people who married my mom, the, the priest who married my mom and dad is. I was watching this. She said, oh yeah, he made that list. There's like a list of all these fucking pedophile priests and yeah, they don't go anywhere, they just get moved to different churches, different parishes. So I looked at it. She was right, he married her. I don't know where he's at now, but out. But it's just like yo as a child, just like you're saying from god, like a career path is one thing, but like imagine something like that and then like it's from god, and then like you're fucked for, like for for eternity.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, it's sick, but I'm sorry, go ahead yeah no, I think it's one thing to call out children's giftings like oh you're, you're naturally gifted at leading, or you're really good at like engineering type stuff, but to be like you're supposed to like. Oh you're, you're naturally gifted at leading, or you're really good at like engineering type stuff, but to be like you're supposed to do this, you're supposed to be in like in general, it's just fucked up. But then, yes, add the god to it and you're just like I don't want to run away from god I don't want to right so that's how we ended up.
Speaker 2:I was so glad we didn't church plant because I didn't want to, but then, and actually what happened ended up being like I had some bad experiences in that church for sure. The senior pastor ended up being a stone-cold narcissist and, like like everyone, his reputation is completely ruined around this entire area. Now the church doesn't exist anymore. It was like there, that's a whole. That's a whole other episode, but I would probably never do that anyway.
Speaker 2:But that's not actually what caused my whole walking away from it. I just started asking this is what it goes back to. When we first started talking. I started asking hard questions to myself at some point and being like why do I believe this? How does it serve me? Do I believe this? Because someone told me to believe this. And so I ended up, long story short, ended up first stepping down out of ministry and stopped working at the church.
Speaker 2:Then I left the church, and when I say left the church, I mean I left the church at large completely. I will go to a church if I need to go to a funeral or wedding, but that's going to be it, and I have no judgment of those who go. It's not a problem if someone's like, oh, I love my church and I go, it's OK, that's not it, this is for me, right, this is what I'm choosing for me. And then the most painful year of my life was the year after I left the church, and that was deconstructing completely, where I got down to like really hard questions about Christianity and about my beliefs and came to the conclusion that I could not subscribe to being a Christian anymore because the staple pillar beliefs are really actually founded in fear masked with love, and so I still do believe in a higher power. I do believe I'm spiritual still and I feel connected to a higher power. And what's wild is like all the giftings I had which in the church, in my church, would have been called like prophetic or whatever, like I still have all of these giftings and things that I can operate in, because here's the truth. We are all wearing lenses, so everything I experienced, spiritually speaking, in the church and in Christianity was real, all of it was real. It's just that I saw it all through the lens of Christianity versus just the lens of being human and having spiritual experiences, which is much more open minded, right, much more like a universal approach. And so I have it's hard to tell people, because you got to also understand being in ministry.
Speaker 2:I was a pastor for several years, so the majority of people that followed me on social media, the majority of people I was friends with, they're all still in church or they're Christians or whatever, and I'm walking away from it and I'm starting to speak up about it Like no, no one was okay with that. I literally had no friends for an entire year. It was the loneliest year of my life. I I literally had no friends for an entire year. It was the loneliest year of my life. I had no one and on top of the fact that I had no one every day because I was wrestling with it wasn't like an easy switch. It wasn't like I don't think I'm a Christian anymore.
Speaker 2:This was like peeling layers of my flesh off of me. That is how fucking painful this process was. Every fucking day for at least a year straight, I thought I was going to go to fucking hell because I also believed in hell, right. So like this stuff, and especially from a young age, for me you can have other people I've talked to other people deconstruct and they're like they still. It really wasn't a hard process. It was like a little bit painful but it was hard.
Speaker 2:But like this was my fucking identity at a DNA, like cellular level, like I can't even put words to how much this was my identity. You could have asked anybody who went to my church. They're like oh no, she was on the front row, like she was. She was like so gifted, like her relationship with the Lord was so real, like it was all real and it was all I knew of me, which was why it was so painful to let go, because it's all who I knew me to be. So that was really really rough. But the beauty of that, after getting through it, it was actually wild how much fear and shame that I didn't know I lived in actually just started like dissipating. It was actually fucking wild. So like sexually speaking, even as a parent like those are two separate things as a parent, like in the way that I talked with my kids so, for instance, let's go with the parenting. Here's an example.
Speaker 1:Oh can we go.
Speaker 2:No, we can go with that too.
Speaker 1:Here's an example.
Speaker 2:Oh, can we go? No, we can go with that too. I don't care. I had fear, and this would be a normal parent thing around. Oh my gosh, are my kids going to turn out good? And if they don't, like, I need to make sure this is pressure. I need to make sure I'm doing what I need to do in order that they turn out okay. And are they turn out okay and are they making the best choices? And, oh my gosh, are they doing this or they do it?
Speaker 2:You wouldn't have thought that about me as a parent if you witnessed me, but that energy was inside me, okay, and it was almost like once I deconstructed Christianity. I was just like they're gonna be great, I'm gonna. I I stopped taking things personally, so I stopped being in reactive mode when they would do shit. So now it wasn't about me. So, because it wasn't about me, it was just like, hey, like you've got like this attitude and I know it's not about me so like what's going on, some shit going on in your life? Like can I support you? If you don't want to talk now, do you want to talk later?
Speaker 2:Like there's this ease that came upon me as a parent and here's the biggest thing I have such a trust in their own individual journeys. Do I know what the fuck they're going to look like their journeys? Oh, not at all, but I have no agenda to direct them and to tell them your journeys should look like this and you need to do this. Not with college, not with getting married, not with having children, not with jobs, nothing. Because I trust them, and the biggest thing I do is I send them back to trusting themselves, to loving themselves, to going with their inner wisdom, and that was something not only was I never taught, but, like the world at large, isn't taught.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. They're definitely not taught that I mean. So, all right, so that was parenting. Was that makes that makes a whole lot of sense. Parenting wise that makes that makes a whole, whole lot of sense. Were your children, I guess? Uh, were they involved in the church? Is what I was, okay, was it difficult?
Speaker 2:for them they probably didn't like it anyway it was easiest for my youngest because she was in the least amount. Um, I think she missed the community like people, when she, when we left, but like that was pretty much it. The the older two. Let's see my daughter, my oldest daughter, had actually deconstructed before I did. She just didn't really talk about it. She told me a little bit of stuff but like she didn't really completely talk to me about it. So my kids are 19, almost 18, and then 12. So like they're older and this happened about five years ago. So like they're older and this happened five, about five years ago.
Speaker 2:So it would have been like 14, 13 and right around that same age you were, when you were like fuck this shit, but then you got when everything took a turn for the worse yeah so it was, um, I think actually it was less hard for them, for us walking away from the church and deconstructing Christianity, than it was for what came after, because what came after was a deconstruction of everything. See, I thought that was it. I was like, okay, that was really hard, that was tough and like, okay, I know who I am now like all this stuff. And actually it's a domino effect, because what happens is I didn't stop questioning everything and so I started questioning marriage.
Speaker 2:And what do I believe about marriage and why do I believe it and do I want it? And have I just been okay with it? Because it's, you know, decent enough and that's why I want it Like. So we haven't like made like this public, because we're not telling people on social media, nor will we ever, but I don't, it's going to be public eventually. Anyway, october 1st last year, I told my husband that I didn't want to be married anymore.
Speaker 1:That was fairly recently.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Nine months, yeah, and how? And he was he still. Was he still active in the in the church?
Speaker 2:No, so he ended up leaving the church as well, leaving ministry and then leaving the church. He, though, when I had started deconstructing, he was still like kind of starting to go to other churches just to figure out if there was like, if he still wanted to do that. So his deconstruction journey was behind mine, which actually made it even harder for me too. Right, because I'm going through this and he's just like, oh my God, she's going to hell. Oh my God, like you know, because I'm going through this, and he's just like, oh my God, she's going to hell. Oh my God, like you know what I mean Like he's, he's having all his fears come up too, because he hasn't actually so at this point.
Speaker 2:I don't know that he would say he's not a Christian, though we probably landed in different places as far as what we completely believe or don't believe at this point, but we both respect each other's. You, you know where we landed, and, just like each other, he doesn't go to church, doesn't ever want to go to church again. Well, I mean, he looks back and he's like, damn I, he had such a desire in high school to be in architecture, and he has like skills at that. That's like a really thing. He has gifting and passion and like love for it.
Speaker 2:And he looks at all the years he spent in ministry after the navy and and he's just like I feel like I wasted my fucking life. I wasted a degree, I wasted like what the fuck did I do? And I don't ever believe anything's a waste. Can it feel like that? Yeah, and also it's only a waste if you decide not to learn anything, not to glean anything, not to appreciate anything. So even like if you learn something about yourself, it wasn't a waste. And sometimes I think those are the most beautiful stepping stones to see, like, damn, I went through that and it didn't take me under, or maybe it did take me under for a while, but here I am today, right, yeah.
Speaker 1:He took the divorce well though.
Speaker 2:So I was very, always, very honest with him. So a couple years prior to that, I had already kind of said like I am just having these thoughts of being alone, like not being married anymore, Not because I want anyone else, Like I literally just am, I'm just like. So I was just like really honest with him. So I just told him I would keep tabs on or like keep coming up to him and talking to him about it Over the next several years. I just told him like I'm wrestling with it. Still I don't know what I want. I felt very confused and here's where the biggest confusion is, because now again, like I'm not living under this pressure of God hates divorce right, Because I don't believe in that shit anymore, under this pressure of God hates divorce, right, because I don't believe in that shit anymore.
Speaker 2:I don't subscribe to that. So that's not there. But what I was sitting under is massive societal pressure. Because he's a good guy, he's a good man. There's no, there's no like affairs going on. You know he like he's hot, he takes care of the bills. You know, like he shows up as a dad. Like what the fuck would you not want him for? Like these are the thoughts going in my head. Any woman would want him as a husband. You're fucking crazy. Like so I've got all of those thoughts hitting me and then thinking about what it's going to do to my kids, potentially like just the heartache that that would cause for them. And then all of the backlash from other people. I wasn't actually concerned whatsoever about being lonely, and I still am not, and that's because I actually want to be alone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean you know with the three kids and married for so many years and always wrapped up in these churches. It's like who would blame you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it took.
Speaker 1:Real quick. Jesus did say and again, I'm not a preacher, but I did. I do know this. My dad told me this when you pray, like, go into your closet and pray like you don't have to go to church, you don't have to go, like the church is within us, church, you don't have to go, like the church is within us. But what fucks it all up is man and woman and fucking these wacky ass establishments that put these you know, false expectations um on who god is. I believe I believe that's just, I don't know. That's all I got on that. But yeah, yeah, but you had a relationship with him before and you know it sucks that you don't go to church. Like, yeah, you're one of those like, get the fuck out of here. Like you know, I'm a huge hypocrite too, but that's my problem. I commit too many sins, but that's why I don't have a super strong relationship. But it is what it is.
Speaker 2:I mean I think he'll forgive me and I'll just keep carrying on, hopefully so freeing to not live under the pressure of feeling like I'm a sinner or sinning. And what's funny is when I say that it's easy to think like, well, you just do whatever the fuck you want, then never feel bad about it. No, because I have a moral compass, right. Like I actually have a good heart, because what I actually believe about humans is that we are born and our nature is love. I don't actually believe we're born sinners and our nature is like hate and evil. I don't believe that. I don't believe that. And so for me it's so easy to be loving and I love better now than when I was a Christian. Like I love better, I give more forgiveness more freely. This is the craziest part about it. So, anyway, back to what what you said. Like I don't have jesus. Like me and him don't have any problems with each other yeah you're basically a better human than you were, like morally.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that says, that says a lot, you know, yeah yeah, yeah, but 21 I mean just to finish that kind of close that part out like 21, 21 years married. So I was 21 when I got married, 21. My daughter's 19. I could not fathom her getting married in two years and she won't because she is smart. My point is you're a child at 21. Your brain isn't even fully developed and I chose to stand on an altar and tell someone I would spend the rest of my life with them, not knowing who I'd be in seven years, let alone 70. Because we're always changing.
Speaker 2:So for me again, this kind of goes to where I say, like I don't have any problems with people in other religions or people who are Christians, like everybody has their own journey, but for me personally I won't ever again and I cannot get on board with, for me, the idea of marriage. It feels daunting and actually kind of fucked up to do that and to say that to somebody when I know I'm constantly evolving and changing and I don't want to just say like this is it for the rest of my life, for multiple reasons. And that ties all the way into like sexual liberation too right, like that's part of that too. I, I won't marry again. I'm not, I'm not getting rid of him so that I can find somebody like I don't, I'm fine being single, like I have no problem with that.
Speaker 2:I just think there's some culture out there I heard this. This is wild. There's some culture that only allows their people to get married for a seven-year contract. Basically, you get married for seven years. Then you have to go back in front of whoever it is and be like hey, do you guys want to recommit to seven more, or is this season done?
Speaker 2:seasons over that's smart as shit seasons done well and the other? The other fucked up part is to act like, because something ended in divorce, that it's a failure. That's just fuckery yeah it can just be the end of a chapter, the end of a book, like I can look back at that and be like that was beautiful, I'm so glad I had that season in my life and also now as a new chapter. Not, it doesn't mean it was a failure. There's so much stigma put around divorce, not just in religion in society.
Speaker 1:It's so fucked up and it's like she's divorced or oh, she's divorced, like it's yeah, and like I can't speak on this from first-hand experience, obviously because I've chosen not to get married or be in a committed relationship and I'm 36 yeah, with a child in the way, which is like you know, all everybody's fucking, my food, my family's just like, well, you know, I don't even want to get into it, but the bottom line is, I see, um, I see a lot of people close in my life that are so unhappily married and whether they're stepping out of the marriage, either party or they just go home after work and they're dreading it and they're just sitting there and they're just like they fucking can't stay in their lives.
Speaker 1:It's like a lot of the times people stick around because of, because of the god thing and like this god, you know, does he want that? You know I can't, I can't speak on that, but he definitely doesn't want you fucking stepping out and then breaking each other's hearts and and causing all sorts of trauma and damage and then it ending anyway.
Speaker 1:So like yeah, get the fuck, you know, do whatever you gotta do and it's just, yeah, marriage for myself. I'm smart enough to realize that I'd get completely complacent. Even being in a relationship, I get completely complacent. And then you know it's not gonna be forever anyway, because everything's temporary. So I'm gonna invest my entire life into you place and, and then you know it's not going to be forever anyway, because everything's temporary. So, all right, I'm going to invest my entire life into you and then you're probably ripped away from me or I'll be ripped away from you. One of those two is going to happen. Maybe we'll live long enough to, like, enjoy a nice life together, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:But in all reality, I don't want to end up lonely. That's one of my things. Right, if that's what I was going to ask you if you didn't have children. If, like, for instance, somebody like myself, like most, if you're a woman, 36, and you don't have a child, you're probably looking to 100% settle down so you can have a kid, right, if you want children. So people don't, for for that reason as well. Um, because they can't have a kid outside of wedlock. Like you know, me and my co-parent are doing and taking the judgment from others, and you know what? I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I don't give a fuck like yeah, you guys, everyone can fuck off. She's a good, healthy woman and she's gonna give a help, hopefully, god willing, birth to a healthy baby and that baby will have so much less damages that I had with my parents sticking together.
Speaker 1:So exactly yeah, no, I agree completely miserable married life to yeah, no, it's something to be said, though.
Speaker 2:Again it goes back to like, uh, marriage being put on a pedestal, right, that idea of things and then just not thinking outside the box to think like, well, if you're not married, then it can't, that's not gonna be good for the child. That's not true. Like most, there are so many kids in homes that are married, homes that are in the shit show like it's. All these bullshit beliefs people subscribe to.
Speaker 2:And I just think like there are multiple ways to do it, and I feel like I'm meeting more and more and more people my age and younger, especially where you're seeing an uprising of like fuck the status quo, fuck the tradition, fuck the way things have always been. I'm going to do it my way. Why does it have to be that way? There's so much more questioning going on. That's really, really beneficial, because people are taking things that were taboo and being like this shit ain't going to be taboo, no more.
Speaker 2:I'm about to just own it, like who fucking cares.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%. I mean because there's people willing to. You know whether we just can't fall in line because we're not fucking cheap or we, you know, don't have technology goes a long way, obviously, letting us express our feelings to multiple um people, right and and or having like an audience of some sort. You know, fuck, that I'm not just following what everybody else does just because, like, we're supposed to do that and it's going to be even more like. Your situation is just crazy, becca, because you know it must have took, like you said, a year, just ripping you apart. Luckily he handled it pretty well and you kept up the communication, things are good with him and everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's only gotten better. Like it was definitely hard in the beginning when I finally told him and made the decision, and that's understandable, like he's heartbroken because he wants to stay married, like he would you know, and that's what he thought would be the case for the rest of his life. But I think that what we've done is actually it's called uncoupling, basically, where you stop sleeping in the same bedroom, you stop sleeping together completely, but you're still in the same house for a while and then you eventually separate out of house and then divorce. And so we were honest, we told the kids pretty quickly too. So they honestly like they've taken it so well and I think, because they're seeing the fact that we treat each other with respect and care like it's not a problem, it's not a problem.
Speaker 2:And also I think that people are so like, oh my God, divorce is traumatizing to children. No, divorce actually isn't traumatizing to children. What's traumatizing is the way it's handled. Yeah, with people screaming and yelling and fucking beating each other up and like, okay, that's trauma, right, having conversations, honest conversations, vulnerable conversations with your kids about what you've chosen and why you've chosen it, and that was another thing that was really hard for me, though I'll be honest. It was very painful to know like I'm telling them and I'm being honest with them. I'm like this is on me, like your dad isn't choosing this, I'm choosing this, and here's the reason why. Um that, to know like you're breaking up the family, you know to be in alignment with yourself instead of like abuse or something it's like. Oh well, society is like.
Speaker 1:Well, that's right, right let me just hold on let me get my ass beat for like a fucking couple weeks and then I'll get divorced and then, like you know, if that you know obviously that wasn't the case, then it's okay. God, society is like you know. Even though inside you were killing you, you know it's, it was crushing you well, yeah, and here's the alternative.
Speaker 2:The alternative is I stay married for the sake of marriage and for the sake of not hurting people's feelings, and so, therefore, I am then out of alignment with myself, and you know what that does I become resentful, as bitter as fire.
Speaker 1:That's what when I see that manifesting in so many people's lives and I hate to say it, I see it on a regular basis and I wish we would have went live on this, because maybe some people could have could have learned um some things. But anyhow, I do, before we wrap this thing up, I have one last question for you. Or I'm sorry I did. I cut you off my bed. I I mean, were you saying something? I just was worried oh no, I'll actually.
Speaker 2:I think the only thing I was going to say was about the kids was really cool. Is that at this point all of the kids are like no, I think this is great. I'm glad you're being true to yourself.
Speaker 1:That's where they're at now yeah, and you know you guys have a good, positive relationship. So it's like, yeah, you guys are an example of you know, know, yeah, you got married, you had three beautiful kids, I'm sure, and like awesome life with religion kind of intertwined somehow. That probably wasn't a positive thing for you guys, but you know, now you have, it's nothing besides positive, like wow, and it's fresh too. So you, you know, resentments aren't there and it's healthy, it's healthy for the kids and I hope I can do that with this woman who, you know, she's amazing, she's awesome, she's cool. Issues we're not like compatible on a day-to-day basis. It's just, it just doesn't work, I mean, and we're smart enough to realize that. So, rather than just come on the honky dory, come on, move in and now you're gonna, you know, be stuck here pretty much and, you know, or we'll get married, because that's what your parents want.
Speaker 2:But come on, it's like it doesn't work that way no, and I think that you can actually show be better parents, because you're both honoring yourself and your desires. Like you can be a better parent to that girl or to that. Is it a girl? Did you say it was a girl?
Speaker 1:go to the baby. We don't know, we have no idea. We have no idea. Yeah, she, she, yeah. She doesn't believe in modern medicine either. You said you gave birth at home, um, to your third.
Speaker 2:That's what yeah, yeah she'll do great yeah, well because midwives won't take you on, unless if you're a high risk anyway. So it's going to be safe and you're going to be close to a hospital if you need it.
Speaker 1:But the truth is that we've only been giving birth in hospitals, like it's something wrong with us, for you know the last what hundred years, or something before that everyone gave birth at home, okay okay, yeah, yeah, and like people like you know, people close to us, will be like, really, and like she'll dive into it because she's studied on this stuff, and like they don't pay attention anyways, to like what's the point? I know, like, why even get into it? You know what I mean. You're not going to change that person's like, uh, belief system, but it's crazy, yeah, but I have a question, becca, one last one, if you don't mind what happens when we die? Now that, like, I don't know, I'm just, I'm just curious, not that you actually have the answer, but I've answered this question to uh, first of all.
Speaker 2:I am shocked that your question did not reference sexual liberation that I that I referenced. I was expecting that, and then now he's like oh wait, I do have two questions, then we're going to do a whole nother podcast on that.
Speaker 1:You're probably going to be the host in this podcast.
Speaker 2:By then my OnlyFans should be taken off. What happens when we die? So no one knows. No one fucking knows. But here's what I will say when you look at research of people who have had near-death experiences because their body has died for, like you know, five minutes, 10 minutes, 12 minutes, like there's all there's so much studies on that right and they have near-death experiences and they, they, they will like literally share with the others, taking information from them about what happened. They all have the same experience, pretty much. They all like maybe at first it's dark, but not necessarily, but then there's like this light and there's like the greatest feeling of like peace and joy and happiness, and they didn't want to come back from it. That is not from just Christians who have had near-death experiences. It's from people who are Muslims, people who are atheists, people who are agnostic, it's from everyone.
Speaker 2:And so, for me, what happens to us after we die? Well, you can't destroy matter and I believe that we are all. Our bodies decompose, but I believe we are a soul and we are inside a body. I don't believe like who is the version of me that's aware of this body, right, like who is the version of me that's aware of my mind and my mindset and what my thoughts are like there's, there's a higher self, if you will, your soul, whatever you want to call it there's. That's how you have, like deep intuition and knowing.
Speaker 2:That's why people can know the future before it happens, with different things. Right, like it's. It's this higher connection to a universal power. I don't know, I don't know all the specifics, but I guess what I'm trying to say is I believe we existed before in the form of a soul and I believe that's what we go back to and that it's going to be great and maybe we end up as a human again in the future. I have no fucking idea, but I am not scared of death. Do I want to die right now? No, I'd like to see my children and have a lot more sex, but no, I I don't know, but also I feel at peace about it it sounds like it now.
Speaker 1:I'd rather continue this conversation like forever, like not forever, but for a while. But there's these pancakes, these chocolate chip pancakes that I have, like that I'm starving to get. But you're definitely coming back on this podcast 100% because we've got Oli fans to talk about and some sexual liberation and all the things that society will judge us for.
Speaker 2:It's the best.
Speaker 1:I love it. I feel like you haven't arrived.
Speaker 2:Until you have haters.
Speaker 1:That's so true and you're definitely arriving. I mean, you're articulate, you're fucking sexy and you've been through some shit, so you're going to help some people.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Of course. Well, you're welcome back here anytime, Becca.
Speaker 2:Awesome. I'm excited to come back again.