Daily American
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Daily American
Unplanned Parenthood
Casual hookups to co-parents living under one roof.
"We're cut from different cloths," Daniel explains early in their conversation, setting the stage for a revealing look at how two people with dramatically different backgrounds navigate their relationship. Bernadette, a highly educated University of Richmond graduate who chose unconventional paths like working on goat farms over corporate careers, contrasts sharply with Daniel, who candidly discusses his struggles with addiction and having "never had anybody to rely on."
The couple doesn't shy away from difficult topics. They discuss how Bernadette initially ended their relationship due to Daniel's drinking problems, his jealousy when she began dating others, and his gambling losses that impacted their financial stability. Yet through these challenges emerges a portrait of genuine commitment, with Daniel expressing profound gratitude for Bernadette standing by him through a tumultuous 2024.
What makes this conversation particularly compelling is their honesty about prioritizing their relationship even while raising their son. They share their philosophy of putting God first, then each other, and then their child – a perspective that challenges common assumptions about parenting. Despite financial setbacks and uncertain future plans, they maintain perspective about having "everything we need."
Listen in as this couple demonstrates that meaningful relationships don't necessarily follow traditional paths, but rather evolve through mutual respect, honest communication, and a willingness to grow together through life's challenges. Whether you're navigating your own unconventional relationship or simply curious about different approaches to modern family life, their story offers valuable insights about love & life in all its complicated glory.
Info@dailyamericanpodcast.com
Alright, we're back with the Daily American, and right here I have with me the beautiful Bernadette Murray. Hey, bernadette, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:Thanks for having me on, Daniel. It's an honor. It's an honor. I've been begging you to have me on for years. Finally, just now.
Speaker 1:Will you speak up a bit for the audience.
Speaker 2:Stop being so monotone. I said I've been begging you to have me on for years.
Speaker 1:Oh, right, we talked about yelling in front of the baby earlier. So this is my son's mother and we live together. So this is my son's mother and we live together and we do things non-traditionally in the sense of parenting and marriage and living together and what else.
Speaker 2:I mean we're not that untraditional, but to some we are Mm-hmm, cooking, cooking cooking but anyway, let's start off with you and your life growing up tons of trauma, turmoil and dysfunction. No it wasn't Not really. It was very typical middle class suburban lifestyle. I have one older sister, so I was the youngest, and my parents got married late. They were in their 40s. Well, yeah, my mom was 40 when she had me and um.
Speaker 1:That's particularly old for back then, yeah, but nowadays I feel like 40 isn't really, is it, or it is?
Speaker 2:It's definitely more common nowadays, and it was late back then in the 80s.
Speaker 1:I guess we come from. Bernadette and I are cut from different cloths in pretty much the sense of everything, but we are doing our best to to put our son, you know, first and I may be speaking ahead of term with this one, but God first, and then each other and then our son. But Bernadette doesn't get that yet. But we're not married, so I don't have a claim. I don't have a claim, I don't have a claim to that at this point. However we have, we're different, definitely cut from different cloths okay.
Speaker 2:I agree with you that we should put each other, our relationship, before the baby and after God. But it's like a daily practice because it's hard when the baby is so demanding to, it's hard to balance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it definitely is, and you watch the baby and take care of him much more than I. But you know you really do do a fantastic job and if we ever end up in court, this cannot be used against me. It can't be used. No, I don't think that's going to happen, but do you want to tell them about the pregnancy journey?
Speaker 2:Uh, yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Well.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure he was conceived in like a snowstorm out in the woods, wow.
Speaker 2:There's only two options.
Speaker 1:Bernadette disagrees, but hopefully Mr and Mrs Cody are not listening to this.
Speaker 2:Or anyone else I know, or anybody else I know, or anybody else.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's like, whatever we can, we, we have, we've, we have sex and we try to keep it healthy and not, you know, not like strictly pleasure, like there's more to it, right.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, it's not love yeah, so.
Speaker 2:So we were at, we were not together. We were hooking up casually Because from my side of the story I just didn't think it would be a good idea to pursue things with you any further. But that was hard, you know, I did like you a lot so I didn't clearly didn't cut ties fully. So we were still hooking up and you you know, from my perspective you kept saying things like oh, can we just get you pregnant already? Like I just felt like you really wanted to be with me, so if I got pregnant, like it wouldn't be that bad because you wanted. That's what you wanted?
Speaker 1:Yeah, agreed, I wanted a child. I wanted a child with a good woman. A child, I wanted a child with a good woman, and I feel like in the past it was the opposite, but Bernadette absolutely wanted a child and kept track of her cycle and days up until the very second, so she knew what was happening.
Speaker 1:But yeah and yeah, and I was okay with it and I still am till this day. I don't regret I said this on the previous podcast. It's like I don't regret decisions that I've made in the past. Some of them have been wrong, but this certainly wasn't. I mean, I would do it again right now. So sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess I just I feel like before the time I got pregnant, there had been a couple times where it was like a close call and I knew the timing, you know, and I hadn't gotten pregnant. So I just kind of felt like it wasn't eh whatever it wasn't going to happen, like I didn't, I wasn't that worried about it.
Speaker 1:I thought it would take a lot like more conscious effort. Yeah, god had a different plan, but yeah, I guess, in the sense of when I mean like I would come from different cloths, like bernadette the reason why we weren't together from my perspective well, from her perspective, it's because I'm an addict, like an alcoholic, an addict, you name it, that's just. I am who I am. That's a very that connotation gets, is that the word? That word gets tossed around and it's like, oh, my god, he's blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:And then people automatically start thinking, oh well, he's probably a liar, he steals and he cheats people, and this, that and the third, that's fucking bullshit. Um, because there are, like you know, alcoholics and gamboholics that have integrity. So, anyhow, I think I demonstrated that to Bern, but bottom line is, that's why she didn't want to be with me. I was drinking too much, and when I drink too much, I become like a different person and that's plain as day. So that's why she didn't want to be with me. However, from my perspective, that's her perspective. Do you want to explain my perspective?
Speaker 2:Your perspective, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll explain it.
Speaker 2:You were just hurt and mad that I ended it Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we were hooking up for a while and then finally I'm like, all right, let's do this. And bottom line is there were a couple you know lies that I couldn't get past this, that and the third, but I still did it and we were together. We were together for a whole two weeks actually dating as a couple, and they were a fun two weeks, but it ended super quick and you know I hadn't been in a relationship, a serious relationship. I've only been in one serious one other serious relationship in my entire life. And you know she would probably say the same and you know anyhow relationships aren't easy. But where am I going with this? Yeah, so she breaks up with me because I'm drinking too much.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, it was like one very what did I do, yeah? You were just like very mean, drunk, very drunk, very mean, and I was just very upset.
Speaker 1:I, I mean in much respect, uh, yeah, I don't know this led to my like, after she broke up with me, again perception's everything right, like there's always two sides to a story, so I'm not refuting anything that she says. I, you know, we don't live in the past. Um, other people do, unfortunately. But the bottom, the bottom line is is, you know, I wasn't what she was looking for at the time. She breaks up with me and I go like I was super hammered, like very drunk and I thought she broke up with me. I thought it was coming and I kept telling her she like I knew it was coming and then she did it at like the wrong time. Like apparently I was like drunk, talking with her mom and like not about anything bad or anything, we were just talking and I was drunk and she was embarrassed and she started crying at her house and then off, you know, her mother flipped the switch on me and we left.
Speaker 1:She breaks up with me. I like lose it on social media like a immature, like seven-year-old, with my inner child coming out and said like super stupid, mean and untrue things in which I deleted the the very next day. But the bottom line is that was that, was it for her and I for for a couple days, but I was super hurt too. Huh, yeah, that was it for a couple days, but I thought it was it like I, I blocked her. I didn't because she hurt. Like you know, I have feelings. I didn't know I had feelings like that, but I guess you know you do, um, and I felt them, so I blocked her and I let my hangover heal and you know she came over and you know, obviously I unblocked her and we continued hanging out. Now, fast forward a few months. Bernadette, super intelligent woman, you know, graduated from University of Richmond.
Speaker 2:Richmond, yeah.
Speaker 1:Richmond, richmond and Virginia Aren't they the spiders or something? Yeah, super smart. Doesn't follow the norms, which I respect completely the norms in regards to like what society Deems from her society. Slash her parents, um. So she would like, after college, run off to like a goat farm and like milk goats for, like I don't know a year and live there and don't and not make any money and just like, do untraditional things instead of what you know the world wants of her being a smart, beautiful young lady. Go get a job at one of these companies, um. But no, she doesn't want that and that's cool like shit. I respect it more than anything. I tend to live like that, but it's a little bit more difficult. I don't have anybody to rely on, nor have I. Since I was ever, probably I've never had anybody to rely on. Now she's lived with her parents her entire life besides college, so oh yeah, that's not true.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry a few so a few years okay, yeah, the goat farm oh, yeah, I forgot about that Kripalu.
Speaker 2:Kripala.
Speaker 1:Kripalu, kripalu, that's a thing when I mispronounce words around her or her family members.
Speaker 2:I get looked down upon. Well, I just wanted to correct it.
Speaker 1:I know, I know, so I think that. So you know besides those little stints at those remote locations doing abnormal but super cool things that I think she lived with her parents. So we're still hanging out after our breakup consistently and we're like together every day. Almost we can't separate for some reason. And she wants to get her own apartment. Meanwhile, like I'm helping her with her small business that she had and I'm like all in on this girl, but I keep telling her Bernadette, as soon as you get your own apartment, you're going to have some freedom and you're not going to want to be with me and like consistently I would tell her that and I just felt it, my intuition told me that I move her into her new apartment and not even like how long after 72 hours six weeks six, okay.
Speaker 1:So like six weeks Bernadette went to date and that like really, that really upset me. But what do I'm gonna do? I'm gonna try to be slick and play, like the long game. And, you know, let her do her thing, because I knew it was coming. Anyway. She goes on one date. It sucks. She calls me up, we hang out, we have a great night and then, like a week later, I thought that would have been it.
Speaker 1:A week later, bernadette goes on another date and I'm like, oh my gosh, this girl, like she's killing me, this girl like she's killing me. But whatever, I'll be slick, I'll play the long game. And then she wants to go on another date with the guy, the second, the second guy. She wanted to date him again. And I'm just like, are you fucking kidding me? And like I started like losing my mind, like I was so upset, pissed, I like showed up at her apartment unbeknownst to her and like knocked on the door, just because, like I was pissed, like I didn't want her dating anybody else, but at the same time, you know, I was just angry, jealous and Angry and jealous, pretty much Anyhow. What happened with that?
Speaker 2:guy.
Speaker 1:Just turned out to be a douche.
Speaker 2:No, he wasn't a douche, I just wasn't.
Speaker 1:It was like, okay, but nothing, didn't want to keep doing it, yeah, but she was super sick one day because she partied all night with him and I came over and I took care of her and from there on right, you didn't date anybody else, did you? No more dates for Bernadette, thankfully.
Speaker 1:That's my last date ever, hopefully, and now we have this little guy sleeping in the back. Life's extremely difficult, but it's only because we make it difficult. We have a very good life. It difficult, we have a very good life. But I and my own worst enemy and and burned it is her own worst enemy, you know, on different levels obviously, with different struggles.
Speaker 1:You know she's well aware that I blew three-quarters of a million dollars last year. I feel like a total piece of shit about it almost every day, but I'm not doing that again because I banned myself forever from gambling. So you know, just like stuff like that, like like I, you know we could be living not in an apartment and you know, trying to have more children and and and and doing a little bit better with our lives. But you know, some, some business, um issues with myself, a couple of different things, and you know I, I'm responsible for exactly where my family's at right now and we have nothing and I'm gonna change that and we're gonna change that. So you know, I know maybe someone social media we may seem to have it all, but we do and in reality.
Speaker 2:I know I shouldn't say nothing yeah, we have everything we need.
Speaker 1:We have everything we need. You know, as you guys know, for the past couple months I've just strictly been focused on work and bringing as much business into Riley sales, which is HVAC distributor, as possible and that's what I've been doing. You know, it's just life's good and you know, shout out Mike Riley, he's a good dude. Bernadette hasn't met him yet, but everybody at Riley's they're good people. I grew up with some of them in Cunchahokan and it's time to just, you know, make that place go boom with as much humility as possible. Go boom with as much humility as possible While Bernadette takes care of our young one and we try to navigate through life. But this woman's extremely smart. Guys, I know she's very soft-spoken, but she's like the smartest woman ever. So you guys will hear like she knows what she's doing and she's doing Like and she's got magical powers. She don't. She's got me completely controlled and and and mind controlled and manipulated. So I don't.
Speaker 2:No, I don't.
Speaker 1:Well, you guys, stay tuned for next, next week's episode. Maybe she'll be on. Obviously, the world's falling apart, but I'm sick of the negativity. I stayed away from news for a while and it's just like it's always something, man. But then you think you know there's innocent men, women and children dying around the world because of money is what it comes down to. If you follow the money, you follow the culprits to the death and destruction that's occurring around the world. That's what it always comes down to.
Speaker 1:There's motives behind those that are pulling the strings and it fucking sucks because, on our end, all they want to do is cause divide. If you go on social media, you'll see nothing besides. You know debates of political nonsense from a bunch of you know war mongering. You know individuals that that's what they like to do, but it's not changing anything. It's just causing divide. But that's what the those in power want. They want divide, they want disputes. They don't want us loving our neighbors, they don't want us coming together, and you know it's we got to do something about.
Speaker 1:But with that being said, I really don't like podcasting and I have like the hottest I mean most beautiful woman ever and a beautiful kid, and I do like making money to to provide.
Speaker 1:So you know, I consider quitting and not podcasting on a consistent basis, but I also feel like it's kind of like the easy way out, because it's not that difficult to release an episode, especially if if it's about something that that somebody can learn something from. So I've been to more most uh, too, uh, too many bottoms in my life and and it's time to it's, it's time to climb up. And and this woman stuck by my side through one of the most difficult years of my life, and you know, whether we get married or have 10 kids, or if Xavier's it and we co-parent, no matter what happens, I'm going to love her until the day I die, because I've lost a lot and she knows my character, she knows who I am, because I don't hide things from her, and it seems like she's here forever with me, as long as God allows us to be here. So, anyway, that's it. I love you, bernadette. Do you have anything to say? I love you.
Speaker 1:Bye-bye, bye-bye, see you guys.