Here we go!!!
On episode 40, I are going to be be sharing with you the 2nd Ingredient in the 3 Quantum Confidence Codes.
What is a Confidence Code, it's an elixir of sorts that when added to your unique being (your beliefs, aura & body), helps you make quantum confidence leaps - makes you feel like a bad ass and empowered AF.
These 3 Quantum Confidence Codes were given to me over visions I have had over many years of deep meditative practice. They have worked over and over again for me, & my clients, let them start working for you.
Once you start these Confidence Codes - you can't stop the momentum - you will start seeing results. The amount of energy & attention you put into your Quantum Confidence Codes work- the more momentum & supercharged results you will get!!!
On this episode you will learn:
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Hey, welcome back to the wildly confident podcast. I'm back on here, chatting with you about the confidence, my three confidence elixers or tonics or keys, or I'm just having so much fun playing around with words right now. Um, about which one I like the best. I kind of think it's like a little mix of all of them. Pot and confidence. Potent. You ready for the ingredient? The second ingredient? My dear. Well, first before I tell you that I just wanna share with you some of the reasons you might be stuck with doing this work, why it can be hard to do on your own. Why? I think it's so important to hire a coach. I think coaches are invaluable, you know, not only am I, am I a coach, but I've had plenty of coaches in the past. And I know I never, would've been able to get where I am now without at, to this level, without having a coach coaches help you, like in my mind, quantum leap, like it, I might take me instead of it taking me like my entire life and me having this realization on my like death bed about stuff, I'm having it now. And I'm able to really enjoy the result of having that energy, that vibration of being really confident, being radically confident, being sovereignly confident right now. And I'm 40 years old. I'm 40 freaking years old and I feel fabulous and I'm just so grateful for everyone that has supported me along my, in my life. And I'm grateful that I took the chance on hiring a coach, um, when I was younger and it's just been like ever it's it has helped me step into my full power. And yeah, I mean, you can apply listen to some of my other podcasts. When I talk about hiring my first coach in my twenties, when I, I just hired like a, a straight business coach, cuz I was having so much drama at my work of course drama in my own brain. Right? Cuz drama. When we say there's drama, y'all it's always in our own brain. And then we project it out on other people, our thoughts and our beliefs manifest our reality. So when we're having drama just means that we have some internal, when we think drama's going on, we have some internal work to do and learning to find peace and calm within us. And it doesn't mean there's not some f-ed up things going on in the world, right? There are, that's what I call like the collective manifestation of. But we have to learn how to disconnect from it internally we get, learn our own sovereignty. So we have a choice and can figure out how to kind of disconnect from it. So it's non controlling us and the more you disconnect from it, the less power it has. And eventually it might just like disappear. There might be enough people who have disconnected from it and have moved onto a different belief system. That, that thing just comes CRA like burns. And one day it's like gone disappeared anyway. Okay. So why, why you might be stuck on feeling more confident, getting confident the top reason? Well, there's not a top reason, but in my, I guess my opinion, I guess I do have thoughts about this. Um, the, the top reason why you might be stuck is just really your own beliefs and thinking it is, I've said this before, but your thoughts, you know, my teacher, my coaching teacher, you know, at the life coach school be Castillo, I'm LCS certified. She has this great model that she came up with. That's really simple to follow, but it's really just ancient wisdom, right? You've heard this like a thousand different ways in lots of different ancient wisdom teachings. So you've probably heard something like this. It's just the way that Brooke has done it in the model is like really easy, easy for our linear, the way our brains have been trained to read things in our education system. It's very linear. It's very simple to do. And it's basically that your thoughts, right? Your thoughts, your beliefs create your emotions and your emotions create your actions and your actions create your results. So simple, right? It's your thoughts really? That create your results. It's your belief that create your results. We are always CRE creating our reality. We are always manifesting our reality. Let me give you an example here from a client of mine, but she has a thought that she isn't good enough. Doesn't think other people like her the way she is. She needs to be different in order to be liked, that when she has that thought, she feels rejected. When she feels rejected, what are her actions she's gonna take? She's gonna not show up. She is, uh, people pleasing. She's changing the way she is if she does show up. So she's showing a up like out of ina, the inauthenticity she's feeling like not very good inside when she's showing up. So she's restraining herself, she's playing small. And what is the result? She's basically rejecting herself, right? She's proving to he own self that she's, you know, rejectable right. Instead of owning that, like you can never be rejected. Well, in fact, I guess the only way that you can be rejected is when you reject yourself, like that's the pain of all of this. We always think it's something outside of us, that other people are rejecting us. But in truth it's because you're rejecting yourself. That's what feels so bad. It's always come from the call is always coming from inside of the house. One of my old coaches used to say that years ago, and it's always stuck with me from the movie screen. The call is always coming from your own brain. The, the thing that feels so bad is always internally coming from you. Otherwise, it wouldn't feel so bad. You're kind of believing it. And that's how we, we, and we manifest this stuff in our own lives. When we're feeling rejected, when we feel like we're not worthy and we feel like people don't like us and we're in that feeling of rejection, we're going to be taking actions that are gonna make us feel even more rejected. Right? We're rejecting our authentic nature and we're trying to change in order for someone else to like us. When you know, one, we don't know if that person will like us or not. That's in their brain. We can't, we can't ever control anyone else. That's a big fricking lie. It's a fricking lie that we, but women have soul that if we're nice and good and all these other stupid things on this list that like, people will like be nice to us or something like we're, we shouldn't just like people shouldn't just be inherently nice to us. Cuz we're another human being that we have to be a certain way in order to be likable bananas people I unhook from that in the matrix. It's not serving you. How does that make you feel? Right. Probably like you can't be yourself when you, when you feel like you can't be yourself, you're rejecting yourself. That's just gonna feel crappy anyway. So that is the number, like in my opinion, the number one thing that I do with people, we work on shifting your beliefs and thinking, and all of us have unique brain. Like I could say like there's some general overarching social conditioning stories that a lot of women have, but they manifest in different ways. They manifest in different ways and all of my clients, I've never seen anything be identical or exactly the same. There's always a different thought. That's driving all the reasons why they are doc right now. And that's why we have to get really specific. And again, why working with a coach is so baller and so next level, um, the other two reasons I see why people are stuck around their competence, um, is programming and social conditioning. Yes. The matrix that we're all surrounded by that I always just say like the external matrix surround is a culmination of all our different belief systems kind of coming together. And there can be a lot of pressure from that system, especially when we're young and we don't have good boundaries and it kind of like it meshes with us. And so it's so important again, like the first key to all of us is getting to know yourself and create awareness and boundaries and figure out like, where do I end? And something else begins, where do I end? And that other person begins. How do we UN mesh ourselves from some of this social conditioning that isn't serving me? Isn't in alignment with what I believe in. Okay. And then the third piece is just has to do with being human and the way that your brain is wired, it's wired towards no negativity bias. And uh, we work with that in this stage, this stage I'm gonna be talking to you about today, this magic Elixer, I'll be talking to you about today, really speaks to this particular place. People get stuck. Our brains are just more likely to attach to negative things and worry about negative things and see the negative. Especially if it's also like really pro like the social conditioning around us as well. That matrix is super negative. In my opinion. It's it's like, let me tell you about all the bad things that can happen. I mean, just like look at TV shows and look at the programming. Like how many shows are about like murder people getting hurt, bad things happening, right? And then how many shows are about good things happening like that alone goes to tell you what the external matrix is and learning how to disconnect from that. Even that piece, that's a big deal, actively seeking out pot, positive news, which exists just as much as negative news. But how often do we hear about positive things? Not very much, cuz our brain is wired for negativity, bias us. Like we want to find, we seek out the negative we're we are drawn to the negative because of our survival brain. We wanna make sure we're gonna survive. But Lord knows we, this is one of those things at gosh, I'm like all about brain evolution here, but I'm, I'm really hoping this just keeps getting more and more of the volume on this just keeps getting more and more turned down and we keep turning up the volume on the good news, the good things happening, the possibilities, the dreams, the inspirations, because negativity bias will get you stuck worrying about all these things that are just like never gonna happen. And, and aren't gonna kill you anyway. I know you've heard probably some of these stories about negativity bias, but like there's no saber tooth tiger anymore around the corner gonna eat you. There's not a lot of stuff anymore. At least in the country that in the United States where I live, where they're like actual primal, like life and threats. But yet a lot of these things trigger you into that sort of fight flight freeze response. And it's gonna get you stuck in this cycle with that cultural matrix that wants to draw you into that stuff because when you're drawn into it, you're supporting it. Right. And it wants to be supported. It wants to be supported to grow bigger. It wants to dominate and wants to maintain. Right. But we know it's possible to break free from it and for new things to grow and for old things to change, I, I said this before, but like you just think about women's uh, women's liberation rights, right? How did women get the vote? How did women get the right to get divorced? How did women get the right for birth control? Y'all that? Didn't just like that wasn't in that, that matrix out there. Some people had to say like, Hey, the current matrix around us, the current manifestation around us, this giant like hodgepodge, systemic institutional, uh, manifestation around me doesn't work. I'm gonna detach from that. And I'm gonna start like, there's a value in me that says like I have the right to do this. Like I'm a sovereign being, I have the right to vote. Right. I have the right to pick my partner in life. I have the right to take birth control. Right. We take those things for granted now, but you have to think back when women were first start believing that they had that right to do that, right. It was one woman. And then the second woman and then the third, right. And then they started getting together and gathering and slowly people are disconnecting from the idea that like, they didn't have that. Right. And that's how change happens. And so this is why this work on like a bigger level is so important. If you wanna see big changes in the world and it, and like for me being a mother, I mean, I want some things to change for my ch for my children, for my, for them to have a better life than I like have less struggles, less of the struggles I've had. Like that is so important to me. It's so important to me and nonviolence is so important to me. And I really see this work as one of the keys to having more, um, nonviolence in the world. And another thing that's really important to me is safety that everyone can feel safe in this world. It just blows my mind that we have iPhones. Right. But, but at the same time, some people don't feel safe. Like what, how, how is like these two things existing in the same world together. My brain is breaking, thinking about it. But anyway, these are some of the drivers of why I do this work. And some of the things that might fuel you is you're thinking about why do I wanna be more confident? What is being more confident actually gonna achieve for me? Okay. So, oh, our brain's wired to be negative. And so it's just good. Here's how we deal with this. We notice it. We, we tap in, we realize that like the brain can be negative and we need to find space there. We need to find space. We need to come into our higher self, our executive thinking self. It's, what people call the scientist's brain, where they're just observing where detaching from the emotional reaction they're having and getting some space in between the part of them. That's in the survival mode. That's freaking out about something they're seeing and coming back into their higher truth about their, their real reality, what they really desire from this life, what they desire to see in this life for themselves, for their kids. Okay. So we come back when we were stopping that negativity bias, not only do we PO we, we practice positive thoughts on purpose, but we also have boundaries around what sort of negative information we're gonna let in from the external world. From that external matrix, we're gonna put up some good boundaries there, right? We talk about this in the coaching with me, but we figure out like, what feels good? What doesn't, how do we create those boundaries? And we create a system so you can make it a habit because none of this stuff is gonna do any good unless you make a habit of it. Okay. You have to become habitual with it. You have to weave it into you doing something for a week, two week. Isn't going to last typically like on average they say it's 66 days to form a new habit. Some of'em are gonna take a lot longer. Yeah. Some of them can take shorter, but honestly, I mean, that's why I work with people for 12 weeks. Like we have to take time to weave this stuff in, in a conscious way. So it sticks. So you can continue to have those, you know, quantum results happen when we're done, um, coaching, like you continue on this growth trajectory and it, you don't have to be thinking about all the time. It's as easy as remembering to brush your teeth every day or take a glass, take, take, drink some water. Right. It just becomes part of your design part of your nature. Okay. So now I'm gonna get on to the, um, the elixir, this quantum elixir key number two, number two, it's all about learning to like yourself. So first key we talked about getting to know your, like, just getting to know what you like, what you don't like, what's you, what's not you. Right? All of those things, boundaries, awareness, like all the juiciness of the knowing, all the juiciness are getting really intimate with yourself. And then we come to the point where we, we have an idea of what that is. We have a general ID idea, and then we say, well, what do we like? And what do we not like about this? Where are we in self-judgment and resistance to our own self. Wow. Right. I promise you, there will be some, this is what we call shadow work. This is why we have our shadow. And the shadow is there for growth. It's for change. It's a, it's a beautiful catalyst and it doesn't have to be icky and to, to look at it. But if we avoid it, it's gonna end up sabotaging us over and over again. This is how we end up in pat, like these repetitive, patterns that we're like, why do I keep attracting in these? Or why can I, I can't, why can't I just make more money? Why am I always at this pay level? Like all of this, those things are because you don't like a part of you and you're avoiding it. And sometimes we don't even know what that part of us is. That's why we have to first do the first step in this stuff. And then we have to figure out like, what the hell is this? And I'm not even saying, you need to love it. Okay. Knows how he said like, absolutely I get the end of this process. You're gonna get more and more into unconditional love for yourself. But we're trying to like, I I'll even bring you to a neutral place for it before we move into like, and I have a number of practices I do with my clients, um, to get them into a state of liking liking. And it's gonna include a number of things on why you're stuck. It's gonna include understanding how your brain is wired. It's gonna UN it's gonna be part of dealing with your programming and your social conditioning. And of course your own specific beliefs and thinking that you have, that's why coaching's so powerful because when you were stuck in your own, so to speak, there's this like little analogy. I think it's a Buddhist story about this guy. Who's been sitting in his own and he's been sitting in it for so long. He can't smell it. It's so good. And you know, that's why a, a coach will come to you and be like, Hey, look, you're like, this smells not all of you, but this part of this part smells like you are sitting in your own. And you're like, what do you mean? And, and you won't even know it it's it's because you've been in it like your whole life, or since you were a kid, you won't even know that you're sitting, like you're sitting in the. That's creating the negative results in your life that you don't want. And so having a third party come in and be like, Hey, like you're sitting in the. Like, let me show you, let me help you shift your minds. You like, let me help you out of that. So we can take a, a look back and you can see what's going on here. And let's talk about getting out of that situation. Right. Let's talking about getting out of the. Oh my gosh. The amount of times that I have been in the on things and didn't even know it. Ah, and when someone pointed it out to me, I was like, I mean, like with love and kindness, right? Like it's not meant out of trying to shame you or you being in self-judgment it's normal for all of us to be in our own. It's just normal for us not to be aware of it. It's just normal. Okay. There's nothing wrong with that. If you have a human brain, you have sat in your own before and you know, you might be right now, just a normal human predicament. No problem. There are tools for getting you out of it and that's, it's totally fine. Right? We don't need to like, be worried about it. So have fun thinking about this key when you know some of the assets, some of the things about yourself make a list, right? Like I know I'm like this, like for me, let me tell you a few things I know about myself. I know I really like brownies. At least that's what I'm thinking about right now. But that's like on a very surface thing. Right? I know. I like being talked to in a certain, I know I like wearing very vibrant colors. I know that I'm super smart and super funny. I know what sort of people I like to be around. It's just like a hell yes or a hell. No. And I have an inner knowing inside of me. I just fricking know it. I know what clients to work with. Like I can tell in a consult call that this is definitely gonna work for us. Or I can tell'em if it's not. And if it's not, I'm totally okay with saying this isn't gonna work. I know that I'm gonna be okay. No matter what, that I don't need to worry about my safety or my health or money. I know that I have so much insight of me that even if I lose everything today, I can recreate it. I know that I know that about myself. So I know a lot of things about myself and you can write this stuff down. I also know that I can be pretty judgmental of myself on certain days, not every day, but some days. And this is where we get to the like, portion. Right? A lot of the, as I just mentioned in the front end or easy to, like, when you think about the self-judgment right? I'm like, uh, I wish I could just get over that. But you know what? That is kind of like the wiring of a lot of our brains that we're just gonna have this judger inside of as this critic. And we don't wanna be in resistance to it. Cuz when you're in resistance to it, you're gonna be fighting. It you're gonna be miserable. You're gonna be fighting your own shadow instead of being like, I see you self-judgment I see you critic, judge her, whatever you wanna call your self-judgment. I see you worried about something and I get it. Like, I love you for being worried about me and let's write out what you're worried about. And then let's tap in with higher self, right? Let's come in in the scientist brain. Let's observe this stuff to see, do we really need to be worried about this? Is there something I can do to help you critic judge her not be worried. Right? I can like my judger, right? I'm not in resistance to myself. What I'm doing is that I'm accepting that I have a self critic inside of me just by nature. There's nothing I can do about that. Like I can't erase them. They're gonna be there no matter what, just because of my human brain. And sometimes my critic can actually gimme some really valuable information too. So I'm really grateful for that am. And I know how to, I know how to be in flow with my critic. And I can tell you like on the days that I'm even on my, in like this, like my critic myself judger is really showing up like raging. Like I can be like, well this is just one of those days. And I know tomorrow it might not be one of those days. Right? We all ebb and flow. And maybe today is not a good day to do things that my critics really judgmental. And maybe I should do these other things that might doesn't really bother my critic. So I also learned the flow. I'm not super rigid with stuff, cuz I always know that my emotions are changing from day to day. And I always know when I go to bed, my brain likes just resets snap. I love sleep. Sleep is such a blessing. It's one of like it's beyond like one of the greatest gifts, but yeah, for so many reasons, anyways, I hope you enjoy hearing about this. The second part of the oix the second key to helping you get on, get more confident and I will be back next week. Bye.