The Wildly Confident Podcast

Ep. 48: How to be more Joyful

July 13, 2022 Kathrine Weissner Season 2 Episode 48
The Wildly Confident Podcast
Ep. 48: How to be more Joyful
Show Notes Transcript

I was out on my morning walk and had a sudden inspiration to record this episode. I was in full on joy and wanted to share with you my joyful practices to spread the love.  

I recorded it when I got back home straight through - "channeling" the information. I hope the practices & tools I share bring you more joy today - and most importantly the joy I feel and share is translated in my voice and vibration - I somethings think the energy I transmit in these podcasts is more important than the words. That just listening will pass on the vibration & tools with ease. EnJOY!

On this episode you will learn: 

  • The 50/50 of emotional life
  • How to have more joy in your life
  • The top thing stopping you from having more joy & the remedy


Follow me on Instagram @katweissner and check out my website at www.klwcoaching.com

By listening to this podcast you agree to the following Disclaimer: https://klwcoaching.com/disclaimer/

The Wildly Confident Podcast, LLC is a wholly owned subsidiary of KLW Coaching, LLC, all rights reserved. 

Speaker 1:

Y'all so glad you're back this week for about 10 to 15 minutes of some really positive, juicy stuff. I'm going to be sharing with you today to hopefully make your day a little bit brighter, a little bit sunnier. And this does not mean that we are going to bypass negative emotions. You've heard me talk about it before, but a really useful mindset trick I use is called the, uh, 50 50 tool. So life is always 50 50. Okay. We're gonna have 50% negative emotions and 50% positive emotions, like 50% of the things that happen to us or might not be too thrilled about them in the moment, 50%. We're gonna be thrilled. Okay. So there's always this 50 50 in life. And let me tell you why this is such a wonderful mindset tool. Before I start talking about just practices of joy, which is really what this podcast is about today. It's about bringing a little bit more joy, happiness, gratitude to your day every day. But, um, the reason why this 50 50 concept I think is so important is sometimes I think judgment, at least for women, like self-judgment might be our number one, detriment. Number one thing that stops us from getting what we want in life and just enjoying these beautiful days. We hear have here on earth and we get stuck in judgment because we're feeling things we don't wanna feel and we're sitting there and we're also creating more negative emotions when we're in judgment. Judgment literally stops us from moving forward and, and like processing and moving those negative emotions out and negative emotions are a gift, right? They're here to tell us what's not really working and they keep us on our path. Right. We don't really know the complete path that we're supposed to be on. And so we're always testing things out. We're always trying things out every day and our negative emotions happen. And they're like, Hey,<laugh> maybe we need to like backtrack a little bit or like take a left turn instead. Right. But when we get stuck in self judgment, we get caught on our path and we don't actually make any movement. And so the concept of fact, like idea that we have 50% negative, 50% positive emotions in life. When I have a negative emotion, I don't sit there and judge it. I don't sit there and say, how did I F up? Why am I, you know, what did I do to create this what's wrong with me? Right. You know, there is a time and place for contemplation. Y' okay. It doesn't have to be your whole life. Like your whole day is like contemplation or every time you have a negative emotion, you're like, what did I do wrong? Right. Set aside time for contemplation every day. I think the morning pages, um, from Julia, Cameron's really helpful. So just like dumping out your brain for three days, uh, three pages, three days.<laugh> oh my gosh, guys. Don't dump don't journal for three days. Okay. But dumping out, you know, all of the thoughts you have in your head,

Speaker 2:

All of the judgment of yourself, all of the judgment you might have of other people dumping those out, you know, once a day, it can be really helpful. I like writing mine out, cuz I like the physical process of, you know, my hand moving, but you can also type it out. I think it's important to actually get it out of your head. So don't just do it in your head.<laugh> take it and like literally put it someplace else and get it out of your head. There's something about these rituals, right? The ritual almost being this idea of like our internal self communicating with the external world and trans journal world in transforming both of us. This is a ritual morning pages. It could be a ritual to type up this every day. I have a lot of rituals in my life and I'm actually going to be doing more ritual, talk on this podcast. As I wrap up the second season of it and into the third, I've been doing a lot more rituals with my clients, just sending them home from sessions, with ritual work and I'm finding it to be such a powerful way of transforming and transmuting our internal energies into something external that is helpful for everybody. And that's what morning pages is. So if you're looking just for a small ritual to, uh, stop with the self-judgment or stop worrying what you need to fix sometimes like some of my clients are so dedicated to, um, just having a better life, living their best life, uh, wanting to always be, um, I'm trying to think of like expanding or, um, just making themselves like the best person they can be. You know, y'all you already are the best person. You can be spoiler alert<laugh> but it doesn't mean that we're not trying to maybe reach like transcendence or more lightness or more joy, our life or more wholeness or more oneness. You know, you already are whole, but you wanna feel whole right. And there's a journey for that. And so a lot of my clients, they come to me seeking these shifts or changes in their life and they sit and they think like anytime they have a negative emotion or often they have a emotion, they're like, what's wrong with me? What did I do? What do I need to change? And what I'm offering you as part of this podcast is stop freaking worrying about it. So many times during the day, just set aside a single time to journal about what's going on, what are your emotions for the day what's happening, right. And just dump it out during that time and have that be that sacred space for you to do that. Okay. So when a negative emotion shows up during the day, you don't have to stop there in self-judgment and wonder what's going on. You already had space for that. You had time to process that. And absolutely during that processing time, you can decide to make a shift in your life. Right? But when we get stuck in these negative emotions in the middle of the day and we're judging ourselves

Speaker 3:

And we're wondering what we need to do, like again, it stops us from doing, you know, moving forward in our life. So this is what I want you to do instead.<laugh> when you get to suck in these negative emotions in the middle of the day, I want you first to recognize just first, say to yourself, this little mindset trick, okay. Life is 50, 50. I'm sometimes going to feel a negative emotion. That's just normal. There's nothing wrong with it. In fact, it's a good thing because that's telling me I'm a little bit off my path, right? I'm actually like stepped into some poison Ivy or<laugh> or like that tho Bush or that, that little, um, that little Bush that attaches all it seeds to you y'all know what I'm talking about. Oh my gosh, you guys, I stepped in one of those during a photo shoot in this like amazing vintage gunny sack dress. It was a travesty<laugh> I must have like had like 150 of those little brambly seeds on me. Anyway. I'd like you to think of your emotions that way. Sometimes we step into the brambly seed Bush, right? And like universe is just telling us wrong direction. What's another way to go. We don't have to get caught up in why the Braly seed Bush thing happened to us. We don't have to sit there and wonder what we did wrong. We don't just stop there in the brand, leasing Bush and not move forward. Right. What we need to do is we just need to drop it, recognize that sometimes we're gonna step in Brandly seed bushes.<laugh> sometimes we're gonna step in dog poop. Right? I've done that. Sometimes a bird's gonna poop on us. That's happened to me once<laugh> sometimes. Oh my gosh. Just sometimes these things are gonna happen on our path and we don't need to wonder why wonder why during your morning pages wondering, wonder why when you're dumping your brain out during that sacred ritual, once a day, don't wonder when it's happening. Instead, walk the other direction, walk in the direction that looks good. That walk in the direction of desire. Walk in the direction of joy and don't get caught up in it. Cuz life is 50 50. You're gonna step in dog poop. It's just occasionally what's gonna happen. And we don't have to wonder what we did wrong to step in dog poop.<laugh> there's nothing wrong with you. We don't have to sit in self judgment. The next step there would be to clean the shoe off friends. Okay. And, and don't walk in that direction. You know, don't walk in more dog poop, right? I think we think we can avoid pain. I think we think we can avoid pain and you just can't and that's why you get stuck in the self judgment pain is going to happen in life. Just because of the lens we, you know, personally have internally, I, you know, we each have our own lens, our each way of seeing the world and some things that are painful for you when it happens, won't be painful to somebody else. Right. I, I think like the dog poop thing is like perfect. Some people are gonna step in dog poop and lose their mind. Other people are going to just laugh about it. Right. And it's just because of the lens that we see the world through. Right. So there's really no negative situations out there. Well, there might be a few like universal negative situations that not gonna list them right now. But yeah. I mean just things that are universally that I don't, well, that's probably not true.<laugh> I think like even the worst thing you could imagine right now, someone would probably find like happiness in that or some sort of joy at it. So there's probably nothing that's universally negative. But again, this mindset trick is really helpful. Like recognize that it's just 50 50 and that other people don't think stepping in dog poop's that bad. In fact, they find it humorous. And again, like if you hadn't stopped in the D dog poop, you could have walked even further on that path. And you might have like walked into a hornet's nest and gotten stung all over, right? Like the dog poop is like super helpful to get you back on the right course. I'd like you to think of your negative emotions that way. And this is how we can turn that negative emotion into joy. Okay. This podcast is about adding a little bit more joy to your day<laugh> and I'm actually gonna share a practice, a ritual for adding joy in a moment. But so often even me, right? I get sucked into my negative emotions. And I'm wondering why something happened to me or I'm irritated that I'm feeling negative. I'm irritated. I'm in a bad mood. Stop the self judgment, stop standing in the dog, poop and move on. That's not the course. You're supposed to be on, take a moment and be like, which way should I go now? Ah, okay. I'm gonna walk over there towards that fresh raspberry Bush. Yum. Right.<laugh> okay. Think about this with your life. Right? Think about your day. Think about how things are going. Y'all I had to do my taxes, my 20, 21 taxes that tells you I'm the person who always files like at the extension<laugh> time. Like I'm the, the October either, you know, the, whatever, the October 15th filer. Um<laugh> but I had to get everything ready for my CPA. And boy was I in a negative place about it? I can't tell you, like I had so many negative emotions about having to do it. And because I was stuck in my negative emotions about it, it stopped me from actually getting it done. Right. It took me longer to do it in the beginning. I was like resisting it. Right. I was feeling negative emotions. Just thinking about the fact that I had to do it for hours beforehand. It just felt so much worse than it could have been. I went through the process of finally doing it and it wasn't that bad. It wasn't that bad at all. It only took me like four hours to get everything together. And when it was all done, I felt so good. Okay. So what I,

Speaker 4:

In hindsight,<laugh> what I was thinking about was like, how could I make this experience of doing taxes better? And you know, this is not, this is what I was journaling about in my morning pages, but I'll share it with you guys is just that I need to come from a place of, this is 50 50. This is that 50% part of life that isn't that joyous for me. Right? Some people love doing taxes, right? People have like careers where all they do is taxes all day<laugh> anyway. Um, and the funny thing is I don't mind doing someone else's taxes, right? This is how we know it's my stuff. It's my lens. Right. I really don't want to do my taxes cuz I don't wanna find out if I owe the IRS a bunch of money. That's really what it's about. Cuz in the past I have, but it was only cuz my business was doing so well. Right. So<laugh>, I mean, but it's, it's just like kind of like, Ugh, like the, when you get the tax bill, it just kind of feels like, Ugh, if anyone knows what I'm talking about. Right. But at the same time it can say, well wow, I made a bunch of money. Like what a wonderful business I have or what a wonderful career I have and like be really joyous for making the money too. Right. You know, I joke, but like, you know, big tax bills is a good thing in a lot of ways, but you know, I mean obviously we always wanna save money on taxes and like that's why, you know, I have a CPA to help me with any tax savings and um, just long term tax preparation and savings I can do just to be smarter about it. I totally advocate for that. But y'all, if I had walked into this tax situation a few days ago instead of myself, well, this is the, instead of like sitting with the negative emotions for like half the day and resisting it and being super irritable and it ruining kind of like half my day, I could have just been like, yep, this is the negative emotion of taxes and this like just won and got it done or recognized that life is 50 50. And not like sat in that negative emotion, like shifted my energy. Right. I just kept thinking about how I didn't wanna do it. Do you have anything in your life like this<laugh> I know for like clients definitely taxes is one of those things. Um, anything accounting related, anything like financial review stuff, people cringe at, um, they don't want to, you know, they all have, we all have our own stories. Y'all like, I mean, you're gonna have your reasons why you don't like it. I just shared with you. My reasons I don't like doing taxes is because in the past I've had some large tax bills, I guess I should have been expecting<laugh>. But, um, and it just felt like a gut punch. When I got the bill that I paid it, I moved on. Right. I survived. I'm here recording this podcast today. I spent money. I spent that money. I celebrated the like, you know, it's good making a bunch of money too. Right. But we owe taxes as well. But yeah, I, what I could have done, you know, is I could have

Speaker 5:

Done my three pages of journaling about how irritated I was about doing my taxes and then shifted my ener like set of time to do my taxes out. Just said, I'm gonna do'em at two o'clock today. And then shifted my energy instead of sitting in the dog poop for four hours. And if I'd shifted my energy, I might've, uh, had a lot more joy during the day. So that's what this podcast is about, is adding more joy to your day and, and really not getting stuck in the dog poop of life in your negative emotions. And really the dog poop is like the self-judgment part when we get stuck in it. So not getting stuck in self-judgment. And let me share with you my practice for joy. You know, I was out on my morning walk this morning is such, such a beautiful summer here in Denver and I am just loving the hell out of the summer. And I'm so grateful for it. And if you don't know y'all I am summer obsessed. I look forward to this season, uh, all year long and I just, I just like really do it up.<laugh> I really try to like, just like really mesh in like just melt in to summer and enjoy and live every single day of the summer to my fullest doesn't mean that I don't still enjoy the winter, but boy, do I love a summer? Do I love a summer? I love listening to birds. I love laying in the grass. I love smelling all the flowers and the trees and I love breathing in the air. Ugh. Can you guys, can you guys feel this energy right now, this joy for something here's your joyful ritual practice that I'm gonna be sharing with you to add some more joy? What is it that you fricking love the hell out of? What is it for me? I just listed summer. I mean, my kids for sure are another thing. And like I'm constantly moving in the direction of how do I wanna engage with them in a way that just feels just amazing, delicious, so much joy. And that's how I feel about summer, right? There's an intentionality piece to, this is what I wanna say, you know? Yes. You know, we can walk around and bump into joy, but we can also intentionally add more joy to our life. Okay. And one of the ways of doing that is the practice I mentioned before the 50, 50 don't get stuck in the self-judgment and the poop of your life, like shift back into a state of desire and joy. You don't need to worry why something happened to you, drop it, like it's hot and move in the direction of joy, move in the direction of desire. So what is it for you? I want you to sit there and think about it. Some other things that are like pure joy for me, I mean, oh, food, like just food. Y'all like so many different types of food. I have been really enjoying desserts lately.<laugh> I have

Speaker 6:

Been having all sorts of fabulous desserts and I'm not just like, I'm just like really eating them slowly. I'm having so much fun, enjoying desserts, enjoying life and getting into that state of joy and expansion in my body and being intentional about it. Right. I don't, I'm not inten like, yes, I run into desserts all the time. Like they're on my path. Right. Cuz I'm desiring them right now.<laugh> but I don't always desire desserts. I'm like in a season of my life of desserts<laugh> and I'm just enjoying that. Right. But I'm also being a little intentional about it. I'm you know, go I'm I'm saying like, oh I'm loving, I'm loving doing this. I'm eating less for, you know, I'm eating my lunch, but I'm not like stuffing myself and I'm saving room for dessert. And I'm sure many of you have hung out with me know that I've always been a giant dessert fan, but I have really been taking it to the next level this summer. And um, just finding so much joy in that. Can you hear to my voice, like how much fun I'm having and I'm not, it's not emotional eating you guys. You guys don't have to sit here and be like, why am I eating all this dessert? Why? No, it's just how I, what I feel like doing right now. The thing is that I'm not, I know it won't last forever and I'm not afraid it will. And I'm not afraid of what the dessert's doing to my body or anything. It's just bringing me joy and it's, and I know it's not energetically because I need to do it cuz I'm feeling crappy in my life or anything. It's just pure joy right now. I'm tapping into what is bringing me joy right now and making sure that I'm doing those things every day, making sure I'm being intentional about living into my joy. So if you were to pick out one or two things that just were were like hot dog, like, you know, beautiful joy that you're feeling right over something. I gave you two examples for my life, but summer and desserts, do you have something for you? That's just like, and my kids too. Oh my gosh. Hanging with my kids. Like we've just been having so much fun cooking at night together and playing board games and doing arts and crafts projects and going for long walks and getting ice cream. Look, it's a triple combination, like summer ice cream hanging out with my kids, right? Like all three things like mega joy energy. Um, but be, be freaking intentional about the things that bring you joy and make sure you're including them in your day and enjoy them. Right. If you're starting to feel guilty about it. I know some people because we're women might feel guilty about eating multiple desserts every day. In fact, I have chocolate right here. It's 10 o'clock in the morning and I'm gonna eat some in a moment because it just sounds like so much fun<laugh> anyway, but yeah, having fun and having more joy in your life is absolutely something worth putting your energy and

Speaker 7:

Attention into. I think you guys, we are here on this earth for a limited time and no one really knows the purpose of life or the meaning of life. We all have our own meanings, you know? And, but I certainly think that when we are following our desires and our joy, we are living a very expansive life. And it's my belief. You know, that is the, the key to your path is moving into joy, moving into desire. Doesn't mean that negative emotions aren't gonna happen. Right. We don't know our path. So we have to stay attuned to negative emotions and being like, yep, wrong direction there. I gotta shift over here. Right? Thank you. Negative emotion. I'm not gonna make you mean anything negative about me and I'm not gonna get stuck in you, but I'm gonna keep moving towards summer. I'm gonna keep moving towards desserts. I'm gonna keep moving towards hanging out my kids. I'm gonna keep moving towards my clients. My gosh, do I love my clients? Like I love this work. I do. I got into it cuz I loved it so much. Right? Like this is how you live a life of passion and you live a life of purpose I think. And meaning is you follow your desires because that's the path meant for you. So I hope you enjoyed this podcast of adding a little bit more joy to your day. Just tap into what feels joyful to you. I can tell you like, just from my experience when, when I'm not in judgment around something like things come and go in my life. It's really interesting to me. Like I might be tomorrow. I might be able to joy on dessert. Like it might just not be a thing of joy for me anymore. Actually. I know that will happen one day. I know it will happen. It will be something else. Right. I went through like a whole salad thing this spring where I was like obsessed with this one salad. And I made it like every day, cuz it brought me so much joy and then one day it did it and I've just, I haven't even had it since then, but I know this is like the rhythm of my life. Like I go through phases like this much like seasons. Right.<laugh> and so I don't worry about like being overly decadent with it. Right. I don't worry about, oh maybe it's too much. And so I'm just like, I'm going to Wade the F into this stuff. I'm going to bathe in it. I am going to lather myself and this experience and desire and joy I have right now and really, really enjoy it. Guys. This is different than addiction though. I just wanna be clear on that. I'm not addicted to desserts<laugh> I could quit at any given time. Right? Like, so if don't use this analogy as for something that you're addicted to, okay, if you have an addiction, please go seek help for your addiction. Right? This is something that I'm talking about is like pure joy and desire. That is a seasonal thing that we're not using as a crutch. We're not using to mask our emotions. We're not using to feel better. Right. We're just doing it because it's the desire we have. And we're following the desire in our bodies and our hearts and we're not hurting ourselves and we're not hurting anybody else. Right. So anyway, have fun with this y'all and I hope you are enjoying your summer. Bye.