Ep. 55: Is Taking More Action the Answer?

Is taking more action the answer to finally fix your repetitive, painful situation?

If you are like most of my clients, you probably like to get shit down and take control of things, find the solution & move on. Which works for most situation in your life, right?

But, if you have a repetitive situation in your life and you have taken a lot of action  over and over again to try and solve it and it keeps repeating causing pain, frustration and overwhelm in your life, big hug, and maybe the focus on action is what is causing you to keep repeating it….

What to know the solution to stop the pattern? Listen in.

Follow me on Instagram @katweissner and check out my website at www.klwcoaching.com

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:25

Hello. Hello. I'm so glad to be back. It's been a hot minute, right? By hot, I mean super steamy and fun. I have been having a wonderful last six months, and I'm super excited to be back here creating art again. I absolutely love creating this podcast when I am in the mood to do it. And I am now and I have about a thousand podcasts <laugh> I need to record. I'm very, very excited to be here. Without further ado, I'm going to be chatting with you today about the importance of yin, yin and yang, right? I'm gonna talk about those overall concepts in a moment. But what I have noticed in so many of my clients, and again, all my clients right now are women. I have worked with men in the past, but the majority of my clients , uh, are women. But they have a lot of yang energy in them. In fact, this whole culture is very yang. It's very much action oriented. And I'm gonna go through these concepts with you because I think it's very different than the way you've heard them before. And I think you're gonna really understand the importance of yin and the importance of having the balance, because I believe that yin and yang are supposed to be balanced in us. This is how we go about making and creating fruitful and loving manifestations and creations, right? Manifestation is just another word for using our thoughts and beliefs to create actions that get us the result we want it , it's just a simple sequence. <laugh> , it's a strategy in a way . But a lot of us are spending too much time in hurry , culture, too much time doing, doing, doing in yang culture, that we are not enough in our yang culture, and we are not attracting and magnetizing intentionally the things we want in our life because we are too busy doing. So first, I actually just wanna chat with you about yin and yang and my beliefs around it to see if it resonates with you. I'd always heard a lot about those terms, of course, throughout it's popular in culture and I'm interested, I've been interested in those terms. So I've kind of been attracted to them for years. I, but I haven't, didn't really quite understand them , uh, at least, you know, until about six months ago in a way that deeply resonated with me and deeply convinced me of the importance of the balance. Because I much like my clients , um, have a yang history <laugh> of doing right, of doing, doing, doing, even doing to exhaustion, doing to doing into repetitive conflicts, repetitive negative patterns, not knowing how to fix things that keep going and thinking that the way to fix them is doing, when often the way to fix them is not doing. It actually has to do with structure. And the two are actually really tied up together. So, okay, let me go into how I view yin y yang. I don't view yin y yang as masculine and feminine.

Speaker 2: 3:24

I don't like that. That's actually probably one of the reasons why I have repelled yin is because so many of the traits that are hailed for being success successful in this culture have to do with masculine traits. Like they're the active traits. They're the doing traits or the traits that are assigned to masculine energy. It drives me nuts, <laugh>. And I think as a , a woman, as a , for me, an intersectional feminist, as someone who wanted to make my own money and not be reliant on my husband for money, that was an important part of my journey, right? Was that I was an independent person because of my trauma. My , not just the trauma I experienced, but really my ancestral trauma of the way women have been treated, at least in the country I live in. And I know in many countries around the world as being second class citizens and that, you know, for a long time women couldn't even have their own bank accounts, right? We had to rely on our husband. So there is trauma in me that wanted, like , when I had the opportunity to go out and make my own money and to be in those traits that, you know, women weren't allowed to have in the past. Cause we were supposed to just like do whatever our husband told us to do or do whatever our father told us to do, right? That wasn't that many generations back. And that stuff lives in our bodies. Those traumas, those fears live in our subconscious mind. So the concept of yin being tied to feminine, I was just kind of like, I really rejected a lot of feminine qualities. I was like, I'm not receptive. Like the things that typically fall under feminine yin, okay? I don't wanna be receptive. I don't wanna have things done to me. I wanna do, I wanna have control over my life, right? So I think a lot of those kind of swung very far in the yang direction. And men in this culture are too far yang anyway. Like they actually have been taught to shame yin qualities. Don't be in your emotions too much, right? Don't be receptive too much. You're supposed to be doing like, the only approved emotions you can have are like anger and , um, being kind of like ramped up and jazzed about things or taking action. Like men are so often shamed for even stepping into yang qualities . It's like, just because this culture worships yang yang stuff, what's defined as like masculine , um, those yang energies of taking action. Anyway, yin and yang, that , that's why I don't like the terms masculine feminine, cuz I just, at least in my body, there's a lot wrapped up in that. There's a lot, right? And yeah, that's part of the trauma I'm working through. And for me, by reframing these out of that masculine and feminine term, it's really important, it actually is gonna get me, because masculine and feminine are just too culturally loaded for me. And so I, I don't, it , it's triggering to me and I don't wanna use those terms.

Speaker 3: 6:22

But all the while I'm missing out on what I think is one of the key teachings, we all, we all could benefit from something that is gonna bring wholeness to our life. Love, joy, balance, rest, love. I already said love, but boy, do I believe in love. Okay? Anyway, so the terms I like to use, I do like yin and yang because I , I do think that's, those are are great terms, but with yin, I ascribe structure and magnetic and yang I ascribe energy and seeking. So when I talk about yin, I talk about structure. And when I talk about yang, I talk about energy. Yin is magnetic. Yang is seeking, okay? And some of the ways I like to think about this is like, yin is like a car. It's like a structure. Yin is like a light bulb, for example, right? And yang is the person driving the car. And yang is the energy riding through the light bulb that provides electricity. Does that make sense? Everything in life has a structure and then it has an energy. And that's what makes life come alive. That's the wholeness. That is the fullness. If you just have a structure by itself, it's empty, it's lifeless, there's not much going on there, right? It just exists. But it's, it's not creating anything when you just have energy without a structure, right? Energy energy's all around us. When you just have energy without a structure, it's random and incoherent. It's not creating anything In order to create anything, we need to have these two working together. We talk about creating a life. We want, we often talk about creating a life full of love, community balance creation, right? Living our highest, our si highest self. And I believe that that needs to be done in a balance where we can have this yin and yang be balanced. So much of us, so many people in this culture are running from yang, yang, yang, yang, yang, yang, yang. They're creating, creating, creating. And they're not at all really thinking about the structure or what they're magnetizing in. And that is half of what they're creating. So when we have repetitive conflicts, when we're stuck in our , our life, we're not able to manifest in what we desire, even if we're taking a bunch of action to get it right. And even though we might be creating a lot of things, right? You can still, right, taking action with a structure, you're gonna be creating a ton. You just might not be creating things you desire. We have to look at the yin, we have to come back to your structures. What are the structures in you? By structures in you. Yes, it can be your human, your actual body, right? Like how are we taking care of our, our physical body? Are we getting enough sleep? Are we eating healthy enough? Do we have autoimmune issues going on or other things going on we need to look at, right? That's part of our structure. But also in our structure are our beliefs and our thoughts so important? And if we're running consciousness, our energy, right? Energy that's constantly running through our body and having us take action, right? It's being run through the structures. And those two together are what are creating our results. They're what we're manifesting into our life. And since we, so many of us are expert yers , expert energy, you know, expert <laugh> and going out and doing things. Yin isn't about sitting around and doing nothing. It it isn't, it isn't. I think, I think that's been y yin is, is if, if that's all that it was, you'd think it'd be a lot easier. And yet so many people are yin, are low on their yin, don't know their yin, don't know the yin side, right? I want you to peek over the wall from your yang place. I want you to peek over the wall right now, like literally in your mind's eye. I want you to like, if there's a , there're a wall dividing these two, your yin and your yang side. I want you to climb up on your yang ladder and I want you to peek over into the yin side of you. And I want you to see what you see, what, what is in that landscape, okay? In your mind's eye, what do you see? Do you see any structures in it there? Any beliefs, any thoughts that you keep running energy through and it cre keeps creating negative patterns in your life, okay? Or it keeps not getting you the things you want, it keeps sabotaging you, right? And look, these, these structures, these these things that we're running our energy through our beliefs, our thoughts, we weren't born with them, they're coming from society, okay? You were born whole, perfect and complete and you still are, okay? So don't be down on yourself ever, right? Give yourself a really nice big hug right now, right? We love ourselves and even though we might do things that we wish we wouldn't do, we don't have to shame ourselves for those things. Shame is gonna stop us. What we need to do is get curious around the structures in us, in the beliefs in us that might be causing these negative patterns or might be stopping us from getting the result we want in our life that result. What is it right to feel loved to matter, to create beautiful things, to do things that light us up. I don't know what your par particular result is, right? Everything we do in life is because how we think it's going to make us feel. And we have to look at the structures inside of us and these structures, right? We were born whole, perfect and complete. There was nothing wrong with us. There still isn't. But we might have some structures, some beliefs in us that are holding us back. And if we keep running our energy through them, we're gonna keep being held back. We're not gonna be able to make progress. So we have to take time for the yen, you guys, the yen is our structure. It's what we're magnetizing in. It's so important we have to take time to ask ourselves and to look at these structures right? As you metaphorically, as you kinda like look over into the yen of your life. Where are there some structures that need a little tlc? And as we get to know these structures better, right? Layer by layer, you know, sometimes these structures have picked up some mal adaptions , right? As coping mechanisms to deal with a fairly sad and oppressive world we live in. We're often we're told we're not good enough. We don't matter that there are parts of us that we need to hide because other people don't wanna deal with it. We've all felt this, we've, we've been told by this world that parts of us are wrong and that's typically where we have these maladapted structures. So that part of you was born perfect, loving whole and somewhere along the line someone said that structure's bad. You need to hide it. And then that structure starts to mal adapt in order to cope in this world. Totally normal by the way, right? Like that's how we survive. But at the same time that mal adoption when energy is run through, through it, is probably not gonna be creating the result that you want in that area in your life. So what I do with my clients is we work on this yin piece, this structure piece, this let's go internal. Let's take some time to slow down, right? We're gonna just go into our bodies. This is where I do some of the somatic work with people and the energy work, you know, is with the structure of their body. Cuz a lot of this stuff is, you might be able to peek over the wall and be like, yep , I can identify a few buildings over there that need some tuneups, right? <laugh>. But a lot of this stuff is kind of subconscious and that's why I think the body work can be so helpful and working on these structures in you. And also the mindset work too. It's a great bridge between yin and yang and helping you be able to manifest what you desire in your life. But as we start to , uh, explore these structures in you, there is always wisdom at the core. The only reason you typically have not explored the yin structures in you to the da this date, other than this culture being very yank focused , is typically because there's like, almost like , uh, layers of shame, layers of self-judgment around these structures. And so we go to explore these structures and we can explore them through meditative, you know , uh, places. So I will lead my clients through meditations where we go to these structures and we explore them and we find out the wisdom inside. There is always wisdom inside of these structures, and we help clean up these structures. So when you run your energy through them, when you're seeking out the things you desire, let's say you're seeking out a loving relationship, you're seeking out a career that's gonna light you up, you're seeking out a community of people that where you're gonna feel safe and heard , right? Whatever you're looking, right, whatever you're seeking, whatever your energy is seeking, right? We wanna run it through a structure that is one that doesn't have beliefs in it that are actually stopping you from getting that thing. So we wanna remove those limiting beliefs you might have picked up along the way from society, not your fault, and desha them, stop the self-judgment. Recognize you do matter. You're allowed to be you, you're allowed to take up space, okay ? You do not need to apologize for being who you are. And as we start to heal and love and bring these yin structures back into their birthplace, right, their birthright life gets a lot easier. The energy running through you, you're able to manifest the things you want faster. You're able to attract in what you want, right? You're magnetic for what you desire and you're also seeking out what you want. Everything gets into alignment. I think this is really one of the best ways to get into alignment. I've talked about in the past with, you know, aligning your body structures, right? Your heart, your mind, all of those things. And, but this is really like the foundational layer is getting the balance of yin and yang. The structure, the getting, the getting the proper beliefs and thoughts, which are really your OG structures, what you were born with. So kind of peeling off the labor layers of g grm and gr put on there by society and your own sha own shame, right? And self-judgment you have getting off those layers and then letting your young, your yang just run wild <laugh>. But it is that balance. And when we do this, we get there faster. I just see it over and over again. People can be doing, doing, doing their whole life. And that, you know, towards the end they're like, what did I do ? What did I even create? What did I create? What do you wanna create in your life? That's a great question. What do you wanna create? Write that down. Think about it. And how are your beliefs, how are your thoughts helping you create what you want in your life? We are a vehicle of creation. We are an amazing, amazing vehicle of creation. So what do you wanna create? Let's get really serious right now, right? Do you wanna, what do you wanna create in this life? And how do we need to build the yin structures in you and order to create what you desire? So one of the things I think can be really fun is combining kinda like art with this. So , uh, here's a little homework you might do if it feels like fun or just a little practice you might do. Only if it , if it feels good, is I would, when you're peeking over from your yang side of your brain into your yin into your yin structure, why don't you draw? I'd like you to draw like art, get some markers, get some crayons, pencils, whatever, and, and draw what your yin structures look like, okay? And it , I think it could be really interesting to draw some of the structures in your life where you're not getting what you want. So let's say you, you deeply want a beautiful relationship with , uh, uh, your soulmate, but you don't have that. You might be in a relationship with someone that you don't, you're kind of like, I don't know about this or you don't have in your life. I would like you to draw your structure of relationships. Dist draw distraught. Let's, let's get it out on paper. What color is it? Um, are there cobwebs in it? Are there spiders? Are there spooky ghosts? Like, what is going on? Is it scary? Is it joyful? Like getting it outta your head. It's immediately gonna give you some clues that, hey, I got some structural work to do. You know? And if I was gonna add some things to the structure, what might I wanna add? Maybe a big heart, maybe a warm cozy fire, maybe like freshly baked lavender and honey cookies, which I'm planning on making , uh, this weekend. So <laugh>, what might you wanna add in that structure? And we can start to visualize these things, right? It's all , it's , this is one of the first steps in a very big process I do with clients, but I kind of wanted to give it to you cuz I think it's a great way to uncover what is going on in your structure. So I hope you enjoy that and I hope you value yin a little bit more. You might not have had the same thoughts I had about Yin, right? Where I wasn't really valuing it that much because I was like, in this society's game of produce , produce, produce. But yin I think the really valuable , there's so many valuable parts about yin, but the things that really stand out for me about yin isn't about sitting around waiting for something to happen to you. It's about intentionally creating beautiful structures so you can magnetize in what you want. There's still, there's a lot in there, right? It's not about sitting around eating bombon , although I do love eating bombon , whatever those are, to me, they're like little truffles, right? I love chocolate, I love truffles, <laugh>. Anyway, okay y'all, I hope you have a great week and I'll talk to you later. Bye.