Ep. 37: The Truth about "Know, Like & Trust"

On episode 37, we are going to be talking about the famous adage..."Know, Like & Trust'...

Have you ever heard of it?

It's what social scientist say we use to gauge forming new relationships  (friends or lovers) and how we get new clients in our businesses.

In order to have form a relationship with someone...you need to Know, Like & Trust them...

So many of my clients come to me and ask...how do I get more clients?

How do I attract in my ideal partner or something I desire in my life?

What they are really asking is how do I get those people to Know, Like & Trust me....

And the answer is not what you think...it's NOT about trying to control someone else (by you trying to be a certain way/following someone's advice on how to be in order to be liked) in order for others to Know, Like & Trust you...it's actually about you learning to Know, Like & Trust yourself...and then you just magnetize your relationships in. Easy Peasy.

So stop reading the blog posts about how to get people to Know, Like & Trust you (those are just control tactics that will have you people pleasing & in self-doubt) ...and start deciding how YOU are going to Know, Like & Trust yourself today...mind blown !!!
 
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On this episode you will learn:

• What Know, Like & Trust means
• How to get other people to Know, Like & Trust you
• Micro Practices to start to Know, Like & Trust yourself (this is where all the magic is!)

Follow me on Instagram @katweissner and check out my website at www.klwcoaching.com

By listening to this podcast you agree to the following Disclaimer: https://klwcoaching.com/disclaimer/

The Wildly Confident Podcast, LLC is a wholly owned subsidiary of KLW Coaching, LLC, all rights reserved. 

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:49

Hey everyone. I'm so glad you're back for another week of the wildly confident podcast. Okay. Today we are talking about a well known marketing concept, but this concept is going to apply to everyone. Not just people that have small businesses and who are entrepreneurs, but also individual who are just living their most glorious life. This principle also will relate to you. So don't get off the podcast. Just listen in. The concept is known as no, like trust. Let me explain what that means to everyone here. So whether you're you have a small business or you're just a person, like I said, live in your most amazing using life. We all want to have relationships with other people and kind of the bedrock or what these talking heads say is the bedrock of forming. Those relationships is to know, to like, and to trust somebody, right? You probably can use this and think like, oh yeah, everyone. Who's one of my, I know, like, and trust them, right? Uh, if you're a small business or an entrepreneur, you know that, you know, all of your clients who have agreed to work with you, like they probably know they know about you one, right? They like you and they trust you. And that's why they decided to hire you. It's a very powerful little statement. When you think, think about that, everyone in your life, kind of like that you want to, to be with that you wanna spend time with kind of, you know, follows this category that you know about them, right? You like them and you trust them. And so I wanna now kind of turn the whole thing on its head. I mean, I love this. I love this statement. So many of my clients have come to me talking to me about like, how do I do more? No, like trust stuff. How do I get my audience? How do I write? So my audience knows likes and trust me. And also some of my clients who have personal issues are having a hard time. Me getting the relationships that they want in their life, the romantic relationships, or, you know, I just did a podcast on friendships. Some people are frustrated as an older adult that they don't have the deep friendships they want, or they think it's hard to make new friends. If you haven't listened to my podcast on making new friends last week, call go back and take a listen to it. If this is one of your things is one of your hangups that you think it's hard to make friends at your age because it's simply not true, right? It's just a story in your brain. And that story's gonna keep repeating itself until you go. And you kind of give it some space and allow something else new to grow a new belief system, to grow where you can get the results you want, because we're always creating our own results. So back to no, like trust, it's a beautiful thing, right? How do you write content? How do you come? Is someone that people wanna know like and trust? Well, this is what I've learned about it. There's no like little magic formula. You can Google this stuff. And this talking head will tell you to be more authentic. And this talking head will give you their little, like 30 day formula on how to do this. And that is not your problem with why you're not getting clients with your, with your content or why you're not having the relationships you want. Your problem is not getting other people to know, like, and trust yourself. Your problem is you getting to know like, and trust yourself. I know<laugh> so good, right? Yeah. That is your, your block right now. And what so many people's blocks are and having any sort of like the clients they want, the deep relationships they want in their life is they don't really want know themselves. They don't really completely like themselves and spoiler alert. They don't really trust themselves completely. Can you relate to any of these three in your life? Do you think you really know yourself? Right. If we can't, if we don't really know ourselves, how can other people know us? If we don't really like ourselves, how can other people really like us? And if we don't really trust ourselves, how can we expect other people to trust us? If our entire experience is through our own lens in life. And we already have a lens on that we typically unconsciously don't see right now that I brought it up to you, you might be like, Hey, you're kind of right, Catherine. I know like trust myself in some areas, but in other areas I don't so much, and that's totally normal is what I wanna say. Like first have compassion and love for yourself. You hear me say it on every podcast and hell yes. You know, you gotta have that first. This is not meant to be judgmental. This society is set up for you to not know yourself. Basically it's meant to you with other people's messaging. So you buy things, right. We're constantly being bombarded with like, you know, be like this, be like that. Right? If you go back, if you, if you're interested in, in learning about how materials can, um, and mesh with us, I have a great podcast, a few episodes back on that, on having boundaries around things. But, and we, and we've been told so often by society as well, that if you're not like this, you need to change, right. If you're not this certain way, which means what's that gonna create guys? You not liking yourself, right? You not liking yourself. Ah, it's it's infuriating to me. When I think about how much this is put into, into the culture we live in here. And I see it as like primarily there's two goals of it. One is to get you to buy more things, right. It's consumerism and I'm not anti-capitalist at all. You know, I think capitalism in theory is an absolutely great system. It's just, it doesn't have enough checks and balances in it right now know. Right. Most of the people that are getting the most amount of benefit from it are like the one percenters and a lot of us are just at the effects of the system. And so that's why it's so important to become aware of it. Just like we're becoming aware right now that we might not like ourselves. We, in all areas, we might like ourselves in a lot of areas. Right? You can probably list a lot of things you like about yourself, and then you can probably list them that you don't. And the second reason I think this all exists is to keep people controlled, to keep people playing small so you can be easily or easy, more easy to control. And so if anyone's ever felt like, like they have to play really small all the time and they're not able just to be themselves like, yes, this is intentional in my opinion. And figuring out how to know like, and trust yourself is one of the antidotes to getting out of a system, which I think, you know, often exists in order to con try to control other people's behaviors for its own profit. And then trust is like just the end all be all in my mind. Like learning how to trust yourself will make you feel so empowered. So free. It's so yummy, but we haven't really learned how to be in practices and learning how to trust ourselves. We're probably like often letting ourselves down and getting outta trust with ourselves. I see this all the time with anyone trying to make a change in their life that they've struggled with that change. Like let's say they're trying to work out more often, or let's say they're trying to spend less money and save more money. Right. They keep sabotaging themselves and then they get outta. Basically they're getting outta trust with themselves and then they end up judging themselves. And actually when you get into that place of judgment and shame around basically letting yourself down from your own values and standards, you're more likely to repeat it again. And so I do work with a number of clients, honestly, like almost all my clients on learning how to trust themselves again and setting up some really routine practices for me to do with them, where we start to build that trust through things. We know they're gonna be able to accomplish like small things. And they're like, I can trust myself. I do say what I'm going to do. I do follow through. Right. And it, and it's also be aware that you're making the choice to trust, like making you the choice to make these decisions because you love yourself. And, um, watching that trust grow feels so beautiful. And then from there we move on to something a little harder, right? And it's like, it's like stairsteps guys. You know, you're not gonna go zero to 100 in a day here. So many people just like wanna jump, like from where they are to like this like, uh, place in the future, which is so far from where they are right now. And it's a fantasy. And so if you're expecting to take like a quantum leap like that, it's highly unlikely. It's gonna happen. Everything takes these little micro stairsteps, these little micro of bites of things. And it's only through microbits that you actually learn to trust yourself. Cause that is a repetitive learned practice. We can't skip to the future and expect you to have learned to trust yourself, cuz it really is something that happens over time where you're taking actions and you're getting your own back and you're doing this stuff and you're becoming aware when you're not doing it. You're taking full responsibility for it. Right. And making a choice to make it different next time without being mean to yourself, with taking like a moment and saying, yep, I have a human brain. I'm not perfect. I'm gonna do things occasionally that I don't wanna do. That's against my, what my higher self wants to do. Right? My higher self goals in this life. And I can have compassion for myself and notice it's no problem, cuz I can make a choice to do it differently next time. That's how we learn how to build trust. So if you're wanting to build more and no like with other people, you always have to start internally with yourself and get to know like and trust yourself. So here are some fun practices that I recommend for you to start exploring know, liking and trusting yourself. When you know like trust yourself, you don't have to worry about like having some hook in your marketing language, right? You gonna like talk and those words are gonna be enough. Words will be enough. You don't have to follow some schedule. Your clients will come to you because they'll be attracted to somebody else that knows likes and trusts themselves. They see that in you. And they want it in themselves as well. I've said this so many times, but there's that great quote. You spot it. You got it. I always think like all of my clients that come to me, they see something in me. That's also in them that wants to grow. I have it strong in me. I have a strong foundation in it and they see that in me. And they have to say, I like that. Right? I like that about her. The truth is is you have that inside of you too. And actually it's like someone's tab be on the shoulder and saying, it's time for that to grow in you. You can have the same thing she has. You can have that same energy, that same stability, that same confidence, that same love for yourself. That same knowing myself and trusting myself. That's for you too. Right? You already have that seed growing in you. And when we coach together, we just fricking turn it to this amazing, very solid Oak tree.<laugh> that, you know, you can always count on. So let's go back to some fun practices for you to start to play around with knowing, liking, and trusting yourself. And when you know, like trust yourself, it's gonna be so much easier with relationships too. Right? Cuz when you know yourself, you know what you want and what you don't want. You have good boundaries people. Okay. It's you're not sure what you want. So it's going everywhere. Right? We wanna get like specific and refined about what we're looking for because we know what we like. Like I say, when I met my husband, um, I had this list, this really fun, like ridiculous list. My friends would say about who I looking for. And I was like, this is gonna be it. I don't need a word. Like I'm gonna find this person. I'm gonna keep going till I find it. You know, just like me, I just kept dating. And then, you know, I met my husband and like he was everything on my list. Right. And I have high standards, but I believed it was possible. And I knew what I liked because I wrote it down. Right. I was clear. So if you're trying to build more knowledge about yourself, why don't you ask what you to yourself? What do I actually know about myself that I wanna have more of in my life? And what do I not? You can just even go to like what has worked in, what has it? And if you're in business, like what has worked with clients, what hasn't make that list. I suggest that all my, um, my clients that work, uh, with other clients, like my coaching clients, um, that they post this list on their website. This is who this program's for. And this is who it's not be really clear about your bound or people are gonna feel really safe when they know that you know how to say no, think about that. How good does that feel when you know somebody else, like when you're in relationship with ship with them has good boundaries. Amazing. Right. You know, they're not gonna be people pleasing or acting out of their own alignment. It just feels so good. Okay. Now let's talk about like, how do you like yourself? Right. Liking yourself, loving yourself is just, it's just a practice. And I suggest one of the top tools I do with my clients is I want you to make a list of everything you admire in someone else that you love. Okay? Okay. And maybe you admire that. They're kind that they're warm hearted. That they're abundant, that they make you laugh. Okay. I want you to make that list. And then I want you to put in front of every one of those items. I am, I am kind, I am abundant. I am warm hearted. Right? I am expansive. And then I want, what I want you to do with that list is I want you to read it multiple times a day to yourself. This is just all about you, refocusing at what is important to you and refocus instead of focusing on the things that are wrong with you. I want you to focus on what's right.<affirmative> and I, I really want you, I mean, another great thing I like I tell people to do with these lists is to record yourself saying the list and then listen to the recording back, especially right before you go to bed, that's a really powerful time to hear your own voice, telling yourself that you are kind, you are warm hearted. You are an amazing person. And it's, it's something I call a love bath. I don't know if y'all have ever heard me talk about that. Maybe I'll do whole podcast and I love baths, but love baths are where you just you or somebody else. Right. Just sits there and, and just says the most amazing things about you over and over and over again, like you are loved. You are kind, you have done enough for today. You are perfect doing nothing. You are abundant. You are joy. I see you. And I love you just the way you are. That's a love bath. Okay? So you can give yourself a, a love bath with your like statements. But I want you to make a list of the, like things off of somebody that you really admire, that you really love a lot. And you can also make it off things that you already know are true about yourself too. But I think sometimes because we are kind of like almost programmed to look for or the negative that it's harder for us to make the list. And we're more likely to find more positive things than other people. So this will help you, um, kind of expand out to your like, list and then trust, yay trust. So this is where we just take those micro practices. This is one of the big things I do with clients. So it's really easy. I just want you to pick some things small that you don't trust yourself to do. Just pick it out again, working. Out's a really popular thing. Getting on social media consistently is a really popular thing. And I want you to make a reasonable plan for you to do it this week with the ultimate goal of it not being that you posted three times in social media, your work three times, but the goal is that you are gonna trust yourself 1% more. That's it? That's the result we're looking for. So with that in mind, what's the small little step. You wanna take that 1% step towards learning to trust yourself and knowing that you're gonna show up and do those things no matter what, because this isn't just about working out y'all or like going on some social media three times this week. It isn't about that. It's about trusting yourself, way bigger, way more important. And the more you trust yourself, the more you can, um, accomplish more things in your life, get the results you want. And you can create these amazingly huge, huge transformations, but it all has to come from trust. So I hope you enjoyed this and you can use these, you know, anywhere. I mean, I actually think even trust with relationships is really important. Like if you constantly are dating like the same bozo, okay. And you're like, I'm, I'm over dating this person, right? What can you do? So you can build trust with yourself so you can trust yourself that you won't do that anymore. Right. Is something that you can do just with the 1% thing, the 1% thing and do that, this stuff, even that 1% can change the entire trajectory of your life. You guys. So I hope you enjoyed this podcast on the true meaning of how to know, like, and trust yourself to get more clients and also to get more of this deep, meaningful relationships in your life, right. You have to get to know like, and trust yourself. And when you do that, you will naturally radiate out to everybody else. Your true essence, that's how you become magnetic. So have a great week. I'll talk to you next week. Bye.