Chosen

Just as we desire to be chosen, so does God. Love is the freedom to choose to love someone with our actions.

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I'm Alexa Lauren and welcome to my podcast, Heart of a Seeker. Today's episode is called Chosen. This message has recently been on my heart and mind lately. And I feel like most of us can identify when we think of relationships and when we think about wanting to be chosen. And I was listening to this message and thinking about the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve have become disobedient by eating of the tree of knowledge when God specifically told them that if they ate of that tree, they would die. And because of their disobedience, there were consequences that brought separation from God. And often people ask, well, then why did God do that? And I really felt God speak to me and tell me, just like people desire to be chosen, so did I. It's when the option to choose comes to play. True love is freedom of choice when we choose the people in our life. And just as we desire to be chosen, so does God. God wanted us to love him freely without being forced to. So had He never put that in the garden, and had Adam and Eve not made the choice to disobey, then we would have just been robots in life, I feel like, without true freedom of will and freedom of choice. Love. True love is a demonstration of actions. Love is a choice. It's a choice to love someone in spite of their flaws or their successes. It's action without constant feelings at times. In 1 Corinthians 13, 4 8, we are very familiar typically with the love verse. And it says, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails. Often these days we are driven by our feelings, ignoring all the facts and realities standing in front of us. It's as though we have become so addicted to our feelings and what's next, looking for the next fix. When something no longer serves us, we are quick to dispose of it. The root starts with our relationship with God. Sometimes we think he's a genie to grant us all these wishes. If he does not answer our wants and desires the way we want him to, we grow frustrated and angry and often walk away. We stop choosing him, looking for other things in our life to fill us. Those temporary pleasures do not satisfy, and they often leave us in a worse condition than before. I was recently speaking to a friend, and they said, at some point, we need to stop blaming God or the devil and take accountability of our choices. And that really got me thinking that so many times it's so easy to want to blame external factors instead of looking at ourselves and saying, no, I made that choice. It doesn't matter what may have happened in my past, it doesn't matter, but I can choose to make a difference today and make a different choice today. What are you choosing? And that will be the question that I want us to start thinking about as we continue to dive in, dive in further. But what are you choosing? In Matthew 7, 13 through 14, it says, Enter by the narrow gate, for the gate is wide, and the way is easy, that leads to destruction. And those who enter by it are many, for the gate is narrow, and the way is hard, that leads to life, and those who find it are few. Something that sticks out is the wide gate, lots of options. A big gate where it's really easy to get in, and you can self-indulge in whatever you desire and not have a care in the world or concern. But the narrow gate, it's hard. Saying no is not easy. It's not easy to practice self-discipline. It is not easy to say no to the flesh and yes to the spirit. But the narrow gate leads to life. Life not just eternally, but while on earth, because God can and does give us peace that surpasses all understanding. As we say no to the flesh, our desire for the spirit intensifies and increases. When we choose to say yes to God, we choose life and allow the word to wash and renew us in our minds. Proverbs 14 twelve reads, There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. And in Galatians six, seven through eight it says, Do not be deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever one sows that he will also reap. For the one who sows to his flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows of the spirit will from the spirit reap eternal life. Proverbs three five through six goes on and says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. It did not say, Make your path straight, then acknowledge him. So many times we think we need to get ourselves together before we start seeking God and allowing him to do his work in us, but it says he will make our crooked path straight, meaning as we seek him, he will begin to do a change inside of our hearts as we continue to seek his face. We daily get to choose to love God. Daily we choose him over our feelings, daily we choose him in the good and the bad, daily we choose him in sickness and health, daily we choose him in richer poor, daily we get to choose him. Love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is ascribed in 1 Corinthians 13, 4 through 8. If you read it, you will see love is not abuse, love is not manipulative, love is not destructive, love is not angry and revengeful, love does not lead to death. Love is a choice, just like you choose people in your life and look at their character and not how they make you feel. In Jeremiah 17 9, it says, The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick, who can understand it? In 1 John 2 15, do not love the world or the things in the world. If any of one of you loves the world, then the love of the Father is not in him. Second Timothy three five reads, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power, avoid such people. Not walking in spirit and truth does not allow us to fully encompass what God has for us through his power. This message was very special to me and hit home in a very deep way because I have been married and divorced twice, and I remember personally not ever feeling like I was chosen, like I was the first choice. I feel that often there were other things put before me, and that was very difficult. And I remember as I reflect on all the times I felt that my spouses put other things before me, it made me realize how often does God feel that way? How often does God feel like he is always a second option or that people come to him only when they need him, but they don't want to stick around when everything else is going fine in their life and they're getting what they want. I feel that often relationships are a great reflection either of God's love or just the world's thought of what love is, because the world's thought of what love is is feelings. There's songs written about feelings, about how they feel and fall in love. And people say, I fell out of love. But love is not a feeling. Love is a demonstration. Love is patient, it's an action. Love is kind. Love is not self-seeking, it's not going to harm you. And I think so many times we get locked into this lie of what we think worldly love is, and then we often feel hurt and rejected because I feel like sometimes nobody is practicing the love of Christ in a relationship. And I know there are exceptions, but I feel like if you're operating in your flesh, it's very hard to allow the love of God to flow through you. Because so many times when offenses happen, especially in a relationship, we don't allow the Holy Spirit to sometimes flow through us to minister or be kind to the other person. And unfortunately, I feel like that's where even being evenly yoked is so important. And evenly yoked isn't just, oh, do you believe in God and I believe in God? Evenly yoked is truly, do you guys have a similar belief system? How do you plan on raising kids? How do you believe in running your finances? How do you manage things in your life? How, what is important to you? What is not important to you? What are your hobbies? Um, is church important to you? Do you already have a relationship with God before I came along? Are you just going to church with me because I'm going to church? These are so many questions that we sometimes ignore because we so desperately want a relationship. Like it says in Jeremiah 17, 9. It says, the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick. Sometimes when we haven't gotten the healing that we need in our lives and we desire family and we desire relationship, we often jump into these other relationships that are also with other broken people who haven't put God at the center of their lives. And then we wonder why we're having all these matrimonial issues. And I'm speaking from personal experience because I can see in my own brokenness not having a healthy relationship modeled to me, coming from divorced parents, coming from environments of toxic cycles. I just thought that was normal. I actually would think to myself, oh, I know how to handle this. I know how to deal with this person. Not realizing that that was not really God's will for my life wasn't to stick around people and allow them to abuse me emotionally, spiritually, physically, whichever way the abuse transpired. And so I remember really struggling because I wanted to be the best I could be, but I also had very corrupt ways of thinking of what a relationship was. And it wasn't until I started seeking God that he began to renew my mind and help me see that that is not love. Someone that is hurting you, seeking revenge on you because you hurt their feelings, somebody that's trying to put you down, someone that's trying to shame you, that is not the love of God. Because love, like it says, is patient, it's kind, it's not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it rejoices in the truth. It is not proud, it does not dishonor. So if those are characteristics of what love is, then why so many times are we ignoring the reality of the person that we're talking to? Is it because we're so desperately sick, so desperate to feel loved without realizing that the true love comes from the Father? Even in us, I even in times of singleness, there is such beauty in knowing who God is. There's such beauty in allowing him to minister to us, to love us. And I'm not here to talk bad about my exes. I'm here to say that I learned that it wasn't just them. They were probably just as broken as I was. And it was as if we were probably looking for each other to fulfill a need that neither of us could fill because only God can fill that hole in our hearts. And so as I read this and it talking about feeling chosen, it made me realize that I also have to make a choice. I have to see people for who they are, where they are, and I have to take accountability for my own choices and my own mistakes and my own toxic behaviors that I need to correct. Because it's so easy sometimes to want to blame other people. Like in this, in as I mentioned at the beginning, in the example of people wanting to sometimes always blame God or the devil because things aren't working out in their life the way they want. Well, let's stop and think. What choices are you making in your life that are maybe leading you to those different areas? Are you always saying yes to the flesh? Or are you giving into the instant gratification of spending money? And then later you're having financial situations. Are you giving into the um desire of wanting to give into sexual encounters? And then something happens where now you are struggling with that consequence. Are you treating people poorly and then wondering why you don't have any friends? I mean, we all have our different battles and our struggles, but we truly need to look at that and ask ourselves: what choices am I making? Where am I accountable? Because it's so easy to look at everybody else and then judge them and what they did wrong to me and how they hurt me. Believe me, I did it. I've done it. But then I had to actually turn around and look at myself in the mirror and look at my own heart and how sick it was and look at my own thoughts and how corrupt my mind was because I was filling it with what the world taught me love was. The world taught me that in order to receive love in this world, I had to present myself in such a way that would get the attention I desired. And the truth was that left me more broken with more consequences than if I would have just realized that that was hurtful to me, that that was gonna lead me down a path of destruction because I was so desperate to feel like I had a family. Because I grew up, I grew up in a broken home. I grew up wanting that love and attention, that affection, and I sought it out in so many different ways. I also often would ignore the reality in front of me. So I want to encourage you guys to start asking yourself, what choices are you making that you are accountable for? What things can you change? And what things do you want to change? Because there gets a point where, like I did, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was tired of getting the same results over and over again because I thought I was doing things the way I wanted, and I thought they brought me happiness, but truth was they did not. It was only temporary, and then I'd be depressed and sad all alone again, once again. But I realized when it was when I learned the peace that surpasses all understanding, and it wasn't after my two-filled marriages that I realized that God does give that peace, that everything I sought in my relationships, God was always there all along to help me with those things that I wanted and desired. God also had to show me where I needed to renew my heart and mind. And it's definitely been a process because I realized the common denominator in my field marriages is me. And I know it's not all my fault. It takes two people to make a relationship work. But I do know that if I would be honest with myself, there were lots of things I saw early in the relationships, both of them, that I should have heeded warning and paid attention to instead of forcing the relationship, forcing it to work. And I guess that's where God was teaching me it's a choice. You can't force people to do stuff they don't want to do. You can't force somebody to change if they don't want to change. And that was the problem. So many times we get into relationships and we're trying to force it, or we want to force them to do something they don't want to do, or we want them to change instead of looking at them for who they are. And or we use people to get what we want, and that's not right either. And I think that's where God was saying is just like we desire somebody to choose us and us to choose someone every day, God wants us to choose him. God chose us first because he so desperately wanted us to have a relationship with him after Adam and Eve made the choices they made in the garden. And the beauty is he sent his son as a sacrifice to die for our sins so that we could have a relationship with him. And it was like God wanted us to know him, he wanted us to choose him. He didn't want us to feel like forced the relationship. God isn't gonna ever force you to seek him, but he invites you, he pursues you, he gives you opportunity to choose him instead of the world. And I want to extend that same invitation to you. It says in Romans that if we confess with our mouth that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and was raised from the dead and ask God for forgiveness and ask Jesus to come be part of our lives, to reign our lives and sit on the throne of our heart, then we will be saved and have that same relationship and power and authority that Christ left us in Jesus' name. Thank you so much for listening today. I'm gonna go ahead and close us out in prayer. Father God, thank you for today. Thank you for this moment. Thank you that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. Thank you that you came and sent your son to this world so that we could have a relationship with you, that you don't force us, but you desire us to know you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.