Blessed Sinner

“For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” (Romans 11:29) Even when we fall short, even when we have sinned God still blesses us. God will not take back what he has already given you!  

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I'm Alexa Lauren and welcome to my podcast, Heart of a Seeker. Today's episode is called Blessed Sinner. Before we jump in, I want to make a couple of announcements. On July 28th, next Wednesday, I will be launching my 30-day prayer book called Bye Bye Anxiety. And it's a prayer book regarding scriptures that I have found in anxiety that also I have often learned to pray through my anxiety when I'm having a moment in my past. And I've also learned to personally identify my own triggers. And so with that being said, I'm really excited to be releasing this ebook for free. It will be free for anybody that goes to my website and downloads a free copy of it. It will also be for sale on some of the major platforms, as well as there will be a journal for purchase a couple weeks later that will be a little more interactive for people that want to do the prayer and also maybe journal about what they're going through and kind of working through some of the things that they may be struggling with. So be on the lookout for that. I will be announcing it again on the next podcast. So I'm going to go ahead and open up in prayer. Father God, thank you for today. Thank you for your love, your kindness, and mercy. I pray that you would remove any distractions right now in the name of Jesus that wants to distract us from what you want to speak to us today. I pray that the person listening would have peace, Father God, that they would have a receptive heart and ears to hear from you, Lord, and that your word would be planted on good soil and take deep root in their hearts. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. So I've been kind of now, I feel like this is turning into a series. So I might kind of make it a series a little bit later. But I've been kind of talking about the last couple episodes about sin, about obedience. And there was something I felt the Lord speak to me, and I didn't feel quite released to get off of this topic, mainly because I feel like sin often, yes, it brings division between us and God. But in the end of the day, even when we do fall short and even when we do sin, God desires relationship with us. And sadly, sometimes we believe this religious lie that if we're not perfect or if we keep making a mistake or we keep sinning, that God's going to turn his face from us. And the truth is, God looks at our hearts and he looks at if we truly have a desire to know him. And yes, we're going to struggle in areas of our lives. But I also know that as we continue to build relationships with him, begin to get in his word, begin to seek God, we begin to be transformed by the renewal of our mind, as it says in Romans. So I just want to encourage you today to just be able to have a receptive heart, to know that you are loved and receive God's love, even when you do fall short, and to show yourself the same grace and mercy that God shows you daily. It says his mercies are new every single morning. There was uh something that I also felt the other day God speak to me while I was driving. And the idea of David's story is he ends up marrying his wife, but before that, he actually commits adultery with this woman that's already married, and her husband serves on the in the military for David's, I guess, army. And so something I felt God speak to me was yes, although David was a murderer and committed adultery because he ends up having her husband killed out in the field, he also impregnates this man's wife, and unfortunately, she ends up miscarrying the baby. But eventually God blesses them with um Solomon, which is the wisest man on earth, as it says in the Bible. And when I thought about that, I was like, how interesting that yes, unfortunately, he probably did not make the wisest choices, and yet he was a sinner, and God still called him a man after his heart. And even then, God still blesses him one day with a child, and that child is the wisest king, the wisest person up until today, right? And so when we sit here and we ponder on this, it made me feel like even when we struggle, even when we fall short, God still blesses us. Even when we don't deserve it, even if we did things wrong, even if our life has been a mess, God looks at the heart and the fact that they called David a man after God's own heart, that he was always willing to humble himself and come before God and recognize that he did things the wrong way and that he feels the weight of his sin and he sees the consequences of the choices that he made, but yet God still loves him. Because at the end of the day, sin is sin. And I always say that sin is as bad as cursing somebody or wishing ill upon someone to like killing somebody. Yes, you may think, oh, well, that's so drastic. Like obviously, killing is way worse than someone saying a bad word or cursing someone. But the truth is sin is sin, and the the difference is the consequences of our sin. And that's what sometimes we forget. And I want to share a couple of scriptures and kind of go over what I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me as I wrote these scriptures down. So in Romans 11, 29, it says, For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. For as you were once disobedient to God, yet have now obtained mercy through their own disobedience, even so these also have now been disobedient, that through the mercy shown you they also obtain mercy, for God has admitted them all to disobedience that he might have mercy on all. So when I read this, first off, God gives us gifts and he gives us talents and he has a calling on our life, and he doesn't take that away from us. So when I know I've often struggled with this when I feel like I've fallen short in the past, you know, I was 19 years old when I felt called into ministry, and I'm 33 now. So 12 plus years, 13, 14 years ago, I don't know, I knew I was called into ministry, but I felt every single time I felt short, or I was choosing to live in the world, or choosing not to submit myself to God and his wisdom and thought, hey, you know, I'm just gonna do my own thing. I realized that in the end, I felt like, well, I have no being, no reason to be doing ministry or anything because I don't want to be a hypocrite and I really don't want to be um talking to people when I know I'm not doing the right thing. And so I always felt like maybe God would take things away from me. But I also realized that God is a giver and he enjoys giving and he gave his son out of love for us. And so it says they're irrevocable, meaning no matter what we do, he's not gonna take it back from us. And so it made me realize that God blesses us even when we don't deserve it, and that's the mercy that we're seeing. I like what David says in Psalm 90, 12. So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. I really like how it said to get a heart of wisdom. It's like how are we positioning our hearts? And I know we talked last time in the episode Desires, which was last week's episode, how we are to begin to walk in God's wisdom and to choose God's wisdom. But at the end of the day, God lets us do what we want to do, and He still loves us in spite of us, like any good parent. So if you didn't hear that episode, go back and listen to last week's episode, Desires. But it's all about the positioning of our heart. And I think the more we get, and I know the more we get in the presence of God, the desires we once had begin to change. And my question to you is what is the position of your heart? Where and what are you trying to do? What is it you desire? And as you begin to build that relationship with God, your heart begins to change as far as what you're trying to attain. And your mind begins to be renewed and washed by the word of God because we begin to realize that God's word is our protection. It's not to control us, it's not a word, uh, a rule book, but it's wisdom of a parent who loves their child and wants to see them succeed. Today I shared a scripture that I read that was just very interesting to me, where David is about to pass away and he talks to his son Solomon, and he tells him, First King two, two through three, I'm about to go away of all the earth, be strong and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statues, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you go. When I read this, it's a father telling his son to try his best to be able to honor God and walk in the ways of the Lord, because at the end of the day, God's word is our protection, as I said earlier. And I also, when I read this, I feel like there is a promise and there is a covering of when we choose to submit under God and his authority and his wisdom. But even then, we can see through the life of David and even through the life of Solomon that even when they sinned and fell short, God still highly favored them and still highly blessed them because of the position of their hearts. And I really want us to grasp that part. And a place where we can see where God desires to see the position of our heart and being able to admit when we've gone our own way and did not always submit to God's authority and his word is in Psalms thirty-two, one through five. It says Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered, blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit, for when I kept silent, my bones wasted away, through my groaning all day. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me, my strength was dried up as the heart of the summer. I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity. I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord, and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. So you can see that at this point, obviously David knows that he sins over and over just like we all do, we all fall short. But it's the transparency and the truth in the relationship that he has with God. And he even says he tried to keep silent. And first off, let's be honest, we can't hide from God. God knows everything, anyways. And I think that's why being able to look at ourselves in the position of our heart is really more for us because it says do not be, do not deceit, right? Like, do not deceive yourself, deceive yourself. It says there is no deceit in their spirit, whose spirit is not deceit. So it's like God wants us to stop lying to ourselves, to begin to come to a moment of just being like, okay, you know what? I struggle with this, I'm having a hard time. And asking God to really help us overcome that. And we don't have to do this walk alone. There's other believers that truly want to see you succeed that you can open up to, somebody that maybe walked down a similar path you're struggling with, that you can also seek them to help guide you. There is no reason why we have to keep silent because it begins, it says, For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away. So sometimes things begin to cause some of that sickness or those things that we keep silent because we're afraid to open up, whether that's something that happened to us, whether it's something that we did to somebody, whether that's a crime we committed that we kept silent, eventually that begins to drive us crazy. It begins to make us sick internally because we don't want to confess what we did. Because sometimes we're afraid that we're gonna now have to assume the consequence of our action. And the truth is, David's saying he was, it says, I'm gonna read it again, for when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day. So groaning is just like pain, discomfort, agony, stress, anxiety, depression, because all this we're trying to keep hidden inside of our heart, and there's no freedom because we're not speaking out in truth. And the word of God says his truth will set us free. Truth will set us free. If we begin to be honest and begin to stop trying to hide and be able to really begin to get the help that we need, then it's in those moments that we truly begin to find freedom. And so it continues to say, um, I like how he says in the beginning, Blessed is the one whose transgressions is forgiven, whose sin is covered. There's also another scripture in the Bible, and I don't have it in front of me, but it says, love covers a multitude of sin. And when I think of that, I think of the love of God and how he sent his son to die on a cross for our sins, so that we could be forgiven, so that our sins would be covered by his blood. And so it says here, blessed are those that are forgiven whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity. Meaning, when we're real and we're honest with God and we're transparent and we come with him with a humble heart and just saying, God, I'm really struggling with this. I'm having a hard time. Please forgive me for what I did. Please continue to show me the path and make my crooked path straight. And through that, it's through that communion and that relationship with God and reading his word that we begin to be transformed and we begin to realize that we don't really need to do the things that we thought we once needed to. And also sometimes we're in a place where we're so unhappy and it's like, when are things going to change? Well, sometimes in order for things to change, we have to learn to do things differently differently. We need to begin to renew our mind and grow. As I continue to read in Psalms 32, 1 through 5, the next part that I liked was, and I did um, hold on, sorry, let me go back. It says, I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity, meaning he didn't try to hide it anymore because he already tried hiding it earlier, remember? And now he's like, you know what? I'm just gonna be honest and open about where I'm at, what I'm struggling with. I'm gonna stop hiding it, and I'm just gonna be honest with God. And that's what God looks at the purity in our heart. So I sometimes hear people say, like, well, that's just an excuse, like for people to sin that God's gonna forgive them. Well, you know what? It depends. What is the position in your heart? Do you truly desire a relationship with God? Are you purposely just doing this as calling yourself a Christian and being like, oh yeah, I love Jesus, but yet you're doing all these other things that no one knows about in secret, and you're doing them, and you're doing them purposely because you just really don't care. Not because you are struggling, you're like, oh, I hate what I do. Like Paul says, I hate what I do and I do what I hate, but it's the sin living in him. It's like a true hurt and struggle. It's like when you fall short, you truly feel pain, you truly feel unhappy with yourself for giving into the sin, right? That is the position of the heart. But if it's like, oh, I don't care, whatever, I love God, but do you? Because when you do, when you do care, it's like when you wrong somebody and you love them, you feel really bad. You feel terrible. It's like, oh, I hate what I did. I know what I did was wrong, but I'm really unhappy with the decision that I made. And then there's just people that maliciously do stuff and they just really have no repentance, no hurt, no sadness towards what they did, and they just continue going through life like nothing happened. That's why I said you have to look at the position of your heart. And that's what God looks at, our hearts. Not what we've done, not what we say, but where's our heart? Where's our spirit lie? Like, what is it? Is it I know I've struggled with things that when I fall short and I give in to temptation or I do things that I know don't please God, I truly feel upset with myself. Sometimes I feel disgusted. Sometimes I feel like, what is the point of me even doing the things God called me to because I'm not perfect. I fall short often. I give into things I shouldn't, and then I feel like, oh my gosh, I'm just I should not even be here, right? But something God taught me was all throughout the Bible are stories of imperfect believers, people who truly loved God and God began to transform them and change them. You can see their lives to be begin to transform and change throughout the scripture. But David's one of my favorites because it's like one of the most authentic and raw characters that you can see truly struggling, but yet is still a man after God's own heart. Even when he is struggling, even in the midst of his pain, in the midst of his agony, in the midst of living the consequences of his choices, he's still seeking God. He doesn't stop seeking God. And I think so many times it's so tempting to stop seeking God when we fall short. That's why it's called sin, because it separates us from God. It makes us want to hide from him. It makes us want to run away and be like, oh, I'm not good enough. But you are worthy. God sent his son before you even came into this earth, God already knew every struggle you were gonna have, every battle you were gonna have, every pain you were going to have, and yet he still chose to send Jesus to die on the cross for you and for me because he loved us that much that he wanted to give us the opportunity to choose to have a relationship with him. And so I truly believe if you have not had the experience to be able to know who God is and you really desire to know him and be loved and receive his love, which is a free gift, it's as simple as coming to him and asking for forgiveness, believing Jesus died on the cross for your sins, being raised again from the dead, and knowing that he loves you in spite of you and asking him to come be part of your life, to guide you, to sit on the throne of your heart and begin to show you a new way of living. And I believe if you truly just confess that in a very humble way of just really truly desiring to know him, I do know and I do believe God will come and set you free. And it may not happen overnight and it may be a process, but I know through my years of seeking God's face that he has continued to transform me and continued to encourage me and begin continued to lead me and make my crooked path straight. And yes, do I continue to struggle? Yes, do I feel like I'm not worthy sometimes, but I have to remind myself that God loved me in spite of me. So I want to go ahead and close out in prayer. Father God, thank you for today. Thank you for your love, your kindness and mercy. Thank you that you sent your only son to die on the cross so that we can know you, so that we can have an eternal life, not by works and not by our quote unquote what we think is good, not by our, not because of our mistakes, but because simply because you love us. And I pray that we would take this message and remember and know that you love us. In Jesus' name we pray, amen. One more thing. If you guys don't already, follow me on TikTok, Instagram, or Facebook. You my handle is I'm Alexa Lauren. Also make sure to subscribe to my page. There is a link tree link on my pages that you can click on and you can subscribe to the book book release. Um, you can type in your email in there. And so when it goes live next Wednesday, I will be shooting an email out to people on the list. And you can also share it with your friends and family. It's called 30 Days of Prayer, Bye Bye Anxiety. And it's a book that I hope really blesses and encourages people out there. So I hope you guys have a great week and look forward to next week.