The Inner Game of Change

A Change Question - What Am I Tolerating That I No Longer Have Room For?

• Ali Juma

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 Welcome to A Change Question — a special mini-series from The Inner Game of Change.
In each short, solo episode, I bring you one question worth sitting with — the kind that can spark both personal and professional shifts. 

We start with a deceptively simple one: What am I tolerating that I no longer have room for?

From George Eliot’s idea of the unhistoric acts that shape our days, to Seneca’s warning about the quiet waste of possibility, this episode explores how the small things we put up with, in our work, our habits, our relationships, can drain more than just our energy. I will share a practical way to name, assess, and act on them, and why framing it as a question opens the door to change.

If you have been feeling the slow weight of things you have outgrown, this one is for you.


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Ali Juma
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Ali:

Hi, I am Ali Juma and this is a special, limited edition of the Inner Game of Change. I call this limited edition the Change Questions. In each episode I bring you just one question, the kind that can sit with you all day and maybe nudge you toward a shift in how you lead, work or live. However, I'm not here to counsel you, fix you or play the self-help guru. I'm just a curious observer of change, sharing the questions that have a habit of changing me too.

Ali:

Questions have a strange power. A statement tries to convince you, a question makes you convince yourself. There's a psychological reason for that. It's called instinctive elaboration. The moment that you hear a question, your brain stops whatever it was doing and it starts searching for an answer. That search pulls in memories, feelings, experiences you didn't even know were connected and before you know it, the question has taken you somewhere new. And if the question is the right one, it doesn't just change what you think, it can change how you live. So here's today's question what am I tolerating that I no longer have room for? What am I tolerating that I no longer have room for?

Ali:

This isn't about the small annoyances of life, the traffic lights that take forever or the coffee that's never quite hot enough. I am talking about the slow, quiet compromises at work and in life that shape how you show up every day In workplaces. We see this all the time. People stop raising ideas because the loudest voice always wins. Projects stall because no one wants to question a dated process. Energy drains away, not in one dramatic swoop, but in a slow leak.

Ali:

The danger is subtle. Tolerating something too long doesn't affect what you do. It shapes who you become. You risk becoming quieter, smaller, less hopeful. As a leader, you might be tolerating a team member who undercuts others because confronting it feels messy. As a team member, you might be tolerating unclear direction, telling yourself it is not your place to push for clarity. At home, you might be tolerating a recurring pattern that everyone knows is unhealthy but no one wants to name. And all the while you're spending energy, you don't even realize you're losing. Sometimes it is like working in an office with a desk drawer that sticks. You get used to jiggling it just the right way, telling yourself it's fine, and every time you need what's inside you waste a little more energy, a little more patience. Eventually, it's not about the drawer. It's about the way you've adapted yourself around something that was broken instead of fixing it.

Ali:

This is where the idea of unhistoric acts from George Eliot's Middle March comes in. She wrote about the quiet, often unseen choices that make the world more than we realize. Deciding to stop tolerating something and doing something about it is often an historic act. No headlines, no fanfare, but over time those acts change teams, change workplaces and they change us. History is full of moments where progress came not from a grand gesture but from someone deciding enough. Rosa Parks didn't launch a movement by delivering a speech. She simply stopped tolerating the daily humiliation of giving up her seat.

Ali:

In literature. Shakespeare often used the turning point where a character finally refuses to bear the unbearable. In King Lear, it's Cordelia's refusal to flatter her father with false words, a stand that costs her dearly but reveals the truth In business. Leaders like Alan Mulally at Ford made their mark not by adding complexity but by refusing to tolerate the culture of silence around problems. His no-more-hiding-bad-news stance became the foundation for Ford's turnaround.

Ali:

This isn't about just big moments. You can run your own personal change management process for even the smallest tolerances. Here are some ideas for you Name it, say it out loud or write it down the specific thing you've been tolerating. Measure it. Ask how much time, energy or opportunity does this cost me each week? Test it. What happens if I stop? What's the smallest safe experiment I can run? Nudge it.

Ali:

Take one action this week, however small, that moves you from tolerating to transforming. This is important. The sooner you act, the less your tolerance calcifies into identity. At work, your tolerance is set the tone for your team. What you walk past you endorse, what you walk past you endorse At home, what you let slide, tells others what matters to you. And here's the thing Stopping your tolerance isn't always about confrontation. Sometimes it is about redesigning the process, renegotiating the role or quietly shifting your boundaries. So I'll leave you with this what are you tolerating that you no longer have room for, and what might shift for you, your team or even your family if you stopped making room for it? Until next time, stay with the question. Thank you, thank you.

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Ali Juma

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