A Change Question - What Deserves Attention At This Stage of the Change?

Welcome to A Change Question — a special mini-series from The Inner Game of Change.

In each short, solo episode, I bring you one question worth sitting with — the kind that can gently shape how we think, work, and move through our lives.

As change unfolds, our attention often becomes scattered.
We try to notice everything.
The risks. The effort. The expectations.
But each stage of a change has its own centre of gravity.
Something new begins to rise.
Something quieter, but more essential, asks for our attention.

In this short, reflective episode, Ali explores the question:
What deserves attention at this stage of the change?

Drawing on The Little Prince, Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea, the writings of Marcus Aurelius and Simone Weil, and examples from Jane Eyre and The Lord of the Rings, this episode looks at how attention shifts as we move through different stages of a change.

This is not advice.
 It is a gentle pause.
 A moment to consider what truly matters now, what no longer needs to be held so tightly, and what might open if we offered our attention with more intention.

A short episode for anyone sensing that the next stage of their change might require a different kind of focus.

Ali Juma
@The Inner Game of Change podcast

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Chapters

• 0:03 A Rose And The Meaning Of Attention
• 0:44 Ancient Voices On Inner Focus
• 1:31 A Solo Series On Change Questions
• 2:02 From Scattered To Selective Attention
• 2:28 Literary Journeys And Evolving Focus
• 3:48 The Attentional Spotlight And Choice
• 4:39 A Three-Part Practice To Re-Focus
• 5:43 How Shifts In Attention Travel
• 6:17 A Closing Question And Invitation

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

I want to begin with a small scene from The Little Prince by Antoine de Saun Esubari. There is a moment when the Little Prince talks about his rose. Out of all the things that he could notice on his tiny planet, he chooses to water the rose, protect it, and listen to it. What makes the rose special is not that it is rare, it is that he has given it his attention. The story always reminds me that what we attend to becomes more meaningful, almost sacred. It brings me to today's question: what deserves attention at this stage of the change? It also makes me think of Marcus Aurelius in Meditations. He reminds himself that the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. In other words, where we place our inner attention shapes who we become. And then there is Simone Weill. In her essays in Waiting for God, she writes that attention is one of the purest forms of generosity, not achievement, not efficiency, attention. Son to Zuveri, Marcus Aurelius, Simone Weill, very different voices, quietly pointing to the same truth. At every stage of change, there is something that deserves more of us and something that deserves less. I am Ali Gemma and I have a change question. This is a short solo series inside the inner game of change, just me exploring the questions that stay with me and offering them to you in case they stay with you too. It is not therapy and it is not advice. It is simply a quiet moment to pause together and think about the changes shaping our lives. What deserves attention at this stage of the change? Here's something that I have noticed in myself and in many people I work with. When a change first begins, our attention is scattered. We try to watch everything at once. The risks, the opinions, the deadlines, the possible outcomes. But as the change moves on, the scattered attention starts to drain us. What we really need is not more awareness of everything, we need a clearer sense of what deserves attention now. Stories understand this very well. Think of Santiago and The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway. At the start of his struggle, his attention is on strength, endurance, and sheer effort. But as the journey continues, something shifts. He becomes more selective, more precise. He begins to understand that not everything deserves his attention, only the essential does. Attention evolves as the journey evolves. And so do we. Think also of Jane Eyre in Charlotte Bronte's novel. In her early life, her attention is on survival and self-protection. Later, it shifts to dignity and independence. By the final stages of her story, what deserves her attention is different again integrity, alignment, a life that reflects her values. Or Aragon and the Lord of the Rings. At first, his attention is on moving quietly and protecting others from a distance. Later, a new stage of change arrives. Leadership becomes the thing that deserves his focus. Hemingway, Bronte, Tolkien. Different worlds, same idea. The attention that carries us at the beginning is not always the attention that carries us at the end. Psychologists sometimes talk about the attentional spotlight. Daniel Golman in his work on focus and emotional intelligence reminds us that attention is a limited resource. We cannot shine the spotlight everywhere, so the real skill is choosing where to direct it. During change, that choice becomes very important. If our attention stays stuck on old fears or the wrong details, the experience of the change becomes heavier than it needs to be. If our attention shifts to what truly matters in this stage, things feel more workable often. So maybe the deeper question is not how do I stay on top of everything, maybe it is what deserves attention now and what can I gently release from the front of my mind? If you would like a simple way to feel into that, here's a practice I usually follow and you can try. Look back. Ask yourself early in this change what needed your attention that no longer does. Perhaps to its convincing others, perhaps to simply finding the courage to begin. Has that part already done its job? Look around. What is happening now that feels alive or tense or unfinished? Is it relationships? Is it your own energy? Is it a decision that keeps circling back? Look within. What feeling or thought keeps returning when you slow down? Sometimes the thing that deserves attention is not external at all. It might be your own sense of fatigue or value been sidelining or a small boundary that needs to be honored. The answers are rarely loud. They arrive as nudges. What I find moving is that when we shift our attention, the people around us feel it too. When a leader shifts their attention from control to learning, the team breathes differently. When a parent shifts their attention from perfection to presence, the atmosphere at home softens. When a friend shifts attention from their own anxiety to really listening, others feel seen. Attention does not stay inside our head, it travels. Simone Wilde's idea stays with me here. If attention is a form of generosity, then choosing what deserves attention at this stage of the change is an act of generosity towards yourself and towards others. It is a way of saying this is where I will stand, this is what I will care about on purpose. So here's my question for you this week. In the part of change you are living through right now, what truly deserves your attention and what might gently fall away if you let it? I will leave you with this question. And if you'd like to explore more of these ideas, come over to the Inner Game of Change podcast. You might find something there that meets you exactly where you are. Until next time.