Aion Farvahar  0:13
IFS Guided Meditation – Noticing Our Polarization and Opposing Parts
By Aion Farvahar
“Polarization happens when parts of our personality hold opposing views about us or what we need. Polarization leads to inner conflict and invites uncertainty and self-doubt. We need to notice our polarized parts, understand why they hold different views about us, and help them transform and reconcile their differences.”
Hi, this is Aion Farvahar. I am glad you are here.
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Aion Farvahar  1:16
Today, I’d like you to join me for another IFS Self Leadership Meditation to notice and get to know parts of our personality that are polarized and are in conflict with each other. If this is your first exposure to IFS, you can still try this mediation as an experiential inner contemplation. This could also be an opportunity for you to become more familiar with IFS and experience its value in getting to know the inner workings of your mind. But, please use discretion to check if you feel comfortable doing this meditation to connect to your polarized parts. If not, consider some inner works or try this meditation when guided by an IFS practitioner. 

Aion Farvahar  2:11
To make the most out of this mediation, I provide two short introductions. One is an intro to IFS and the other provides an example on how interaction between opposing parts of our personality can lead to inner conflict and polarization. If you are familiar with IFS and polarization, you may still find these short introductions useful, but if you wish, you can skip them and jump directly to start of mediation.
Please note that the views presented here are based on my personal experience and understanding of the IFS model and are not meant to reflect an academic perspective. For the official background and various applications of the model, please see the description below for a link to IFS Institute website. 


Aion Farvahar  3:10
IFS: A Paradigm for Understanding Our Mind 
Internal Family Systems or (IFS) is an evidence-based psychospiritual model pioneered by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz. In simple term, IFS model describes how our mind operates. We usually experience or express ourselves through our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. In IFS, these are expressions of our distinct subpersonalities, “parts of our personality”, or simply “our parts”. 
Our personality consists of different parts who play different roles in our life. For example, 
- Managers are parts of our personality that run our daily life. They like the status quo and stability and do everything they can to avoid uncertainty. 
- Firefighters are parts our personality that are reactive and take over when we get overwhelmed by a negative feeling or thought. For example, if I have an overwhelming worrying thought, a firefighter part of me can make me binge on movies to distract from it.
- Inner Critics are parts of personality that have critical or judgmental views about us. We notice them as inner voices that are judging, shaming or blaming us for our look, our decisions, or how we do things. 
- [And] Exiles are parts of our personality that had painful experiences in the past and are therefore more vulnerable. From example, a part of me may still feel insecure, if I had been criticized by adults when growing up. Our Manager and Firefighter parts are protecting these vulnerable aspects of our personality, so we don’t get overwhelmed by their emotions and can carry on with life.

Aion Farvahar  5:36
In addition to our personality parts, we also have access a source of wisdom deep within us. In IFS, this source is referred to as Self (with Capital S). You can think of Self as your purest sense of being away from all aspects of your personality that could otherwise define you. You can also view Self as your inner wisdom, your higher mind, your open heart, your divine essence, or the clairvoyance wisdom of your soul. 
IFS helps us to access Self by separating us from our personality parts and any feelings, thoughts, or beliefs they represent. When we embody Self, we relate to all aspects of our personality with compassion and curiosity and can extend these to help them relax and transform. 

Aion Farvahar  6:43
Noticing How Polarization Emerges within Us
Polarization is natural to our personality because we have views, thoughts, or beliefs that are not always fully aligned. Here are some examples. For example, 
- A part of me may want me to eat healthy but another part of me may feel I deserve to enjoy comfort food. 
- A part of me may want me to take care of other people in my life, but another part of me may believe I do enough already and wants me to focus more on myself and well-being.  
- A part of me may want me to make some changes in my life, for example find a better job or a new partner, but another part of me may not like this idea, because it may be worried for me losing everything that I already have. 
- A part of me may feel bored or lonely and wants me to socialize and connect with people, but another part of me may not be as open to it and prefers me to stay away from any drama that could come from connecting with others. 
When our polarized parts are not too intense, they can co-exist in a balanced harmony. But when one or both of them take too much space, we get affected by their interactions. For example, every time I enjoy unhealthy food, the other part of me that wanted me to eat healthy makes me feel bad and guilty about what I did. This sense of guilt awakens more inner critical feelings and thoughts, reminding me of being weak, inconsistent, and unreliable in what do. When we are caught between our polarized parts, we switch from one to the other, and our behavior could look contradicting, inconsistent, or unreliable. If we don’t notice the interactions between our polarized parts, we may see their inner conflict and inconsistency as who we are a person. This belief makes us lose trust on ourselves and our ability to follow through with what we want. When not noticed, polarization invites guilt and inner critical feelings and thoughts, and erodes our trust and confidence on ourselves and what we wants.    

Aion Farvahar  9:45
But all of these can change, when we notice our polarized parts, get to know them better, and see what makes them do what they do. Only when we listen to our polarized parts, without judging them or taking sides, we begin to understand them better and become a mediator to help them transform to work in more harmony with each other. Our goal in this meditation is to notice our polarized parts, become equally curious about them, and to be a mediator to help them transform. 
If you notice polarized parts in your personality, this meditation may help you get to know them better. Just listening to and acknowledging your polarized parts can help them relax and open up to tell you what they do for you, and why they do that. Please keep in mind that mediation like this may not always work perfectly the first time. So, I’d suggest noticing the process here and repeating it later in your own unique way.

Aion Farvahar  11:02
Preparation for Meditation: 
Take a deep breath to feel the air entering your lungs, filling your body with its nourishing oxygen. If it helps, close your eyes or soften your gaze to further descend to a state of calmness and presence inside you and away from the world outside. 
As you are focusing inside, notice any feelings or thoughts are currently present in your mind. Let them know you notice them but for now ask them to separate from you to give you some space, so you can be fully present for this meditation. You can always get back to them later, but now is your personal time, a time for you to be fully present here and now. As you are creating this space inside you, gather some light and positive energy on top of your head and direct it down to the core of your body, to start your meditation shortly.   
Turn your attention and imagination inside and look for any conflicting views or thoughts that you notice in you recently, or have noticed before. Maybe a part you that wants you to do something, or to be or behave in certain way, but another part of you that is against that and want you to do, or be something different. 

Aion Farvahar  13:40
Focus on these two parts, or opposing views or thoughts they represent. Start with the one that seems to take more space in your mind and check to find this part, in or around your body, as a sensation, an image, a color, a memory, or how this part wants you to notice it. If you cannot sense or visualize it, just focus on it and try to connect with it internally, without externalizing or visualizing it. Repeat this process for the other polarized and opposing part. Focus on it and try to find it in or around your body, or how it wants you to notice it. If you cannot sense or visualize it, just try to connect with it internally. 

Aion Farvahar  15:47
As you focus on both of these polarized parts, check how you feel toward them, knowing the views or beliefs they have. See whether you feel equally open and curious about them. If you don’t feel particularly open toward one or both of them, check if there are any other feelings or thoughts that are blocking you from being equally open. If yes, acknowledge them but kindly ask these feelings or thoughts to step back and give you more space to be more present. Let them know you notice them and can come back to them later, if needed. Thank them for giving you this space. Repeat this process until your heart is open and you feel equally connected to, and curious about both of your polarized parts. 
Extend your openness to them and let them know you are curious about getting to know them better. Ask them if they both know how old you are. If they think you are younger, make a note of that. Maybe they remember something about you, or what happened back then during that younger age. Let them know your current age, what you have accomplished in life, and how much wiser and more experienced you are now.    

Aion Farvahar  19:38
Now, start with one of them, preferably the one that is more present, and ask what it wants for you, and why it wants that? Also ask what would be the worst thing that can happen to you, if what this part wants does not happen. Is this part worried about something negative or other feeling or thought that could emerge to affect you? If so, make a note of it, and if you get what the part is worrying about, let it know that. Do you realize how this part is trying to help you in its own way? If so, let it know that and thank it for doing so. 
Now, turn your attention to the other polarized part of you. Similarly, ask what it wants for you and why? Also, what it is afraid of, if what it wants for you never happens. Check if this part is also worried about any negative feelings or thoughts that could emerge to affect you? If so, make a note of that. If you get what the polarized part is worried about, let it know you get it. Also, if you see how this part is trying to help you in its own way, let it know that, and thank it for doing that.
Now, turn your attention to both of these polarized parts. Check if your heart is still equally open and present for both of them. Thank both parts for being here. Update them with what you have learned from each one of them about why they hold their views, and also why each one wants something different for you. Remind them how both of them have the best intentions for you, trying to protect you from other negative feelings or thoughts. 

Aion Farvahar  25:29
Ask them if knowing that they both want the best for you, helps them realize they may not be as much in conflict with each other as they always believed. And although what they wants for you is different, they both work hard to help you, in their own way. Ask them if they are open to dial down their polarization, knowing now that they are both parts of you, and care for you. If they are, ask them if they are open to invite in more positive qualities, maybe qualities that invites spirit of cooperation and alignment in everyone, so life can become easier for them, and for you. Let them know you are here, and they should never feel alone when working so hard. If you feel comfortable, let them know you are open to reconnect with them and listen to them more, so they don’t have to work as hard, or be in conflict with each other as much. Maybe you being with them now can help them create more harmony, so life can go on with more clarity, peace, and trust in the future.   
Thank both of your polarized parts for being here and connecting with you, and any other feelings or thoughts you have noticed before. If you feel comfortable, commit to be more aware of their presence inside you. Thank all of them, say your goodbyes, and when ready come back to here and now. 
End of mediation. 

Aion Farvahar  29:16
Reflections
Take a deep breath and when comfortable open your eyes or break your gaze. But before coming back to the outside world, make a mental note of any insights, you might have received during this meditation. The moments like these can help you raise your self-awareness and notice your inseparable connection to your parts. Consider writing a few lines as journal entry, to capture what parts you have noticed, and what they shared with you. You can refer to these notes later in your inner works using IFS practice. 
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Blessings.