Connect & Conquer: Mastering The Art of Networking for your business w/ CarterJ

From the gritty streets to the boardroom, CarterJ's narrative isn't just another rags-to-riches story—it's a masterclass in the alchemy of relationships and grit. Our latest conversation peels back the layers of Carter's extraordinary life, from his imaginative youth and military discipline to his days of homelessness, culminating in his ascension as the CMO of Lab111. Prepare for an expedition through the trenches of networking as Carter lays bare the strategies that transformed his challenges into a treasure trove of business opportunities.

Have you ever wondered how to make your mark in your community or how to pivot from a handshake to a meaningful business collaboration? This episode unpacks the art of local networking, the power of authenticity in forming connections, and the subtle dance between listening and leading in partnerships. We stitch together personal anecdotes and actionable advice, crafting a tapestry of entrepreneurial wisdom—from securing your first business space to scaling the corporate ladder—that's as vibrant as it is valuable.

As we wrap up our explorative session, Carter and I dissect the digital landscape, teasing out the nuances between online personas and the flesh-and-blood fabric of real-world interactions. We deliberate on professionalism and ethics in nurturing long-term business relationships, particularly in underrepresented communities. Imbued with Carter's insights and our shared experiences, this episode is a potent blend of personal growth and professional strategy—it's the insider's guide to networking that every entrepreneur needs to hear.

Transcript

Building Successful Relationships for Business Thrive

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to Perfectly Chaotic with Jess Melly, the show that brings you the chaos of being an adult, but the calm of it being perfectly okay. If you're a woman, man, hell, a human, you're in the right place. Jess can't wait to share the tips and tricks she's acquired over the course of two decades of learning, adulting, parenting, traveling and working in corporate America. Stick around to learn how to turn something chaotic into something beautiful.

Speaker 2 0:35

Every day I'm hustling, hustling, hustling, hustling, hustling, hustling hustling, hustling, hustling, hustling, hustling.

Speaker 2 0:42

Every day I'm hustling. Every day I'm hustling. Welcome back listeners to another episode of Perfectly Chaotic with Jess Melly, the show where we dive into the mess of life, business relationships and growth. I'm your host, jess Melly, and today we're peeling back the layers of what it means to truly connect and thrive in the business world. So, before we start our incredible episode and I introduce our great guests, a quick shout out to our sponsors today, which is we Collins Consulting for supporting this journey in the chaos. So let's welcome our esteemed guest to the show. I will consider him definitely to be a titan in the industry of business, known for his innovative strategy and deep-rooted connection. So guess, why don't you introduce yourself and give us a glimpse into your world?

Speaker 3 1:34

Hey, what's going on everybody? My name is Carter Jay. I am a serial entrepreneur and right now I am focusing on my role as CMO of a company called Lab111, where we brand scale concessions.

Speaker 2 1:51

Great, so conscious, yet informative overview of your career and highlighting your passion for building meaningful relationships in business. So we're going to talk about a couple of things. So do you mind if we just vibe and sort of kind of pick your mind on building relationships?

Speaker 3 2:07

Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 2 2:09

Okay, so first let's dive right in. Can you share with us your journey in the business world and how you've navigated building successful relationships along the way?

Speaker 3 2:20

Well, starting out young, I was always a creative. I started singing when I was four, so I started in the entertainment business and from there, once I got older, I went into the military. Just being in the military itself is networking in its own world, so just learning those.

Speaker 3 2:45

Yeah, just learning and being around different cultures and different people and different personalities. I learned so much from a world aspect going to Korea, going to Afghanistan, kuwait, japan so it's just being able to be around those cultures pretty much putting me at a higher arching when it came to me getting into the business world. I got into the business, okay, okay, go ahead.

Speaker 2 3:24

So I was going to ask you. So even though you weren't technically running a business, you utilized your skill set that you learned in there as an opportunity. To put it in a business sense Correct, correct, correct, yes. Okay, so go ahead, so tell me more about your experiences and how they have translated into your business world and how you've taken those opportunities and transitioned it, because some of our listeners are transitioning soldiers to people that are in the military, so they would love to hear how that transitions over.

Speaker 3 4:02

Yeah, well, it was tough, Honestly, when I I'm going to be very transparent. So when I, when I got out of the military, I was, I was homeless for a year and I and I do believe that it's partially my fault, but I do feel like it's somewhat of the military thought as well, because I wasn't educated on all of the things that I had at my you know, like it, at my hands. I could utilize what the military was giving for transition soldiers, but I wasn't informed and then I wasn't really looking for it. So at the same time, I learned in that, in that aspect, I was like, hey, you know, you really got to go out there and find the information because nobody's going to give it to you. So for a whole year, like I was in my car, I slept in my car, which was an Impala on 20 inch rounds with TVs in it, which in itself sounds crazy. But but I, I, in that year, I found myself, I figured out what I really wanted to do and I felt like that's what I needed to go through to get to the point of entrepreneurship. And then, once, once I figured that out, I moved back home in 2014.

Speaker 3 5:24

And, of course, fort Bragg is. You know well, it's not Fort Bragg anymore, it was Fort Liberty. So we went back to Fort Bragg and I don't think I can ever call it Fort Liberty, but it's too hard. I mean, that's we grew up on that, you know. So it's just now, it's conditioned in our brain. But so once I moved back home, I was, I was determined. So I used to walk from Owen Drive all the way to downtown, which is what street was that?

Speaker 2 6:06

Hey Street.

Speaker 3 6:10

No, it's the Cardinal building, it's right off of Ramsey Street. I was there. Okay, I can't, I think I can't see them. So I opened up a studio, a recording studio, because of course I'm, I'm a, I'm naturally an entertainer, I'm a singer, songwriter. So once I opened up this studio, so many people was coming in.

Speaker 3 6:32

You know, I really wasn't making any money, but I was net worth and from there I met so many artists.

Speaker 3 6:41

I met so many people and they was one because in the Cardinal building it's nothing but lawyers, tax people and there was one guy that was in there. He did t-shirts, but I also did t-shirts for me and him connected and I would bring him clients and he would bring me clients, and so, and from there I would just walk down hey Street and introduce myself to every business owner that would talk to me, and a lot of them were very inviting. So I would walk up and down hey Street and talk to everybody. I would buy stuff just to show my support and just me putting that energy out it was, it was giving back to me and from there it just opened up to where. You know, I was like I don't really want to do music like that anymore. You know, I think I have the ability to help not just artists, but business owners and entrepreneurs and people who really want to build a brand. So from there, I just put all of my skills into into that and here we are today.

Speaker 2 7:47

Okay, so that was a lot to definitely unpack and when.

Speaker 2 7:51

I got out of that is that networking and putting yourself out there is very important.

Speaker 2 7:55

So I guess that's what it kind of takes me into my second question.

Speaker 2 7:59

Well, one I definitely want to talk about maybe episode in the future, because we have to talk about that transition and things that people don't tell you, and benefits.

Speaker 2 8:10

And I think that maybe the timeframe is a little bit different, because I think that a lot of people are advocating for knowledge about benefits regarding, you know one, the, the businesses that help you transition. So whether it's like hiring our heroes or you know other, you know, I guess they used to call it a capping, but now it's called something else, like a soldier for life program. So I think that now maybe they do a better job, and I think it previously, like you said, that necessarily wasn't the case, because you have, you know, your education benefits, you know home purchasing benefits, all these other things that people don't really talk to you about, and obviously disability as well, that aren't necessarily discussed in advance. So I think that that's probably a whole nother episode for us to dig into, because I feel like if we're going to do our part in helping people transition and making the world a better place, we have to talk to people about people and their resources.

Speaker 3 9:02

Right.

Speaker 2 9:03

So thank you for bringing that up, but my next question is what's? Excuse me, what strategies do you recommend for effectively networking with an company or an industry? And I think you just touched on that a little bit more, but I would love for you to go into that a little bit more deeply.

Networking for Local Business Connections

Speaker 3 9:21

So I'm going to say this and then I'll get into this. So a friend of mine, lj Bowen I hope I said this last name like he's a poet, ex-military as well he always told me like you need to write a book on how to become successful in your city. So I say that to say you have to implement yourself in your city, you have to educate yourself about proof in how the city works. If you don't know those things, you will not be successful in your city or any other place, because you have to do that in every other place that you go. Okay, so what I used to do is I would go into the city hall meetings, educate myself on what was going on there, any type of city meeting. I was there. I wanted to make sure that people understood me, who I was and what I was about, and I wanted to know how the city moved, who was making the city move and how could I implement myself in the city in a positive way.

Speaker 2 10:33

Well, that definitely makes sense. When you talk about local industry and getting your name out there, do you recommend starting locally? A lot of people say that sometimes your city isn't necessarily the city that's going to support you, so what are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 3 10:52

Of course, of course you're going to get that, but you got to start somewhere.

Speaker 3 10:55

So I would say, start somewhere where people know you, because not everybody is going to be a hater, okay, so, even if so, I use this analogy a lot.

Speaker 3 11:06

So a preacher, right, a preacher, a preacher is to the congregation, and if they only reach one person and they only say one person, they did something you know, and that proof for the congregation to see, and then from there you're going to be able to see the cause and effect. So I do believe that you should start in your city, because if you're not being a, if you're not going to be successful in your city, what makes you think you're going to go somewhere where you're foreign and they want to support you? Nobody knows anything about you, nobody in which that sometimes that is good. But but I do believe that your hometown is your incubator. How do you get all the kids out? How do you prepare yourself? And from there you should be able to say, okay, this works, this didn't work. All right, I've mowed this presentation, my pitch, and now I could go to other cities and states and do the same thing.

Speaker 2 12:05

Okay, that makes sense For people that you know. At least that's like a baseline or a starting place for you to at least have the opportunities to practice. There are definitely, you know, local agencies that you can interact with, you know, and the other thing is not necessarily everyone doesn't have necessarily a name within their hometown or might not not be known. So, as you said, I guess this is why we're having this conversation, because networking is definitely key. But while we're talking about that, I think that we also have to discuss, like, how you approach meaningful connections with clients, colleagues and industry peers, because one thing about networking, I believe that you have to bring your authentic self to that and even if it's, you know, authentic is such an overused word, so let's say genuine, your genuine self. How do you approach those connections in that way?

Speaker 3 13:02

Just showing up. Honestly, I remember back at home I was. So I was. You know, we're not on camera, but me, I'm a dark skinned man with the beard.

Speaker 3 13:18

At that time my hair was almost locked and I didn't really dress up, okay, so I was just me, I was raw, and I believe that that is one of the things that helped me, because I'm sitting in these city hall meetings and these people are looking at me because they're like, huh, like why is he here? What, if you do? He looks like he's out of place. But then when I spoke then it was like oh okay, all right, this is starting to make sense. So then I'm starting to get invited to curbs every year's meetings and stuff like that, you know. So I it's really all about showing up and not trying so hard. Just show up, and if there's an opportunity for you to speak or if there's an opportunity for you to get some shine, then you take that advantage, because if you just stand on the wall like a flower, you know people may look at you, but that's about it, you know yeah.

Speaker 2 14:29

So what it sounds like is to me like a lot of people sometimes feel like if they're not polished, that they don't have anything to say, or maybe what they're saying isn't valuable.

Speaker 3 14:40

So what you're saying is just go for it yeah, just go for it, because, at the end of the day, the word knows is gonna help you. Okay, because I'm a person that reflects every second. You know like.

Speaker 3 14:56

I like, like the right now, you know, just offer my answers and the questions you know. So it's like if you show up, regardless of what you look like, you know, of course, make yourself somewhat decent. You know as best you know, but I'm literally homeless, I'm. I told you I'm walking from Owen Drive all the way to downtown, favre, okay, and I did this for a year. Okay, so, but even that, like I'm sweating, and Owen Drive to downtown is a long walk, okay, oh it definitely is.

Speaker 3 15:32

So I'm sweating, I'm. You know I'm saying so. It's not like I was the perfect candidate to be in these spaces, but I just knew that I needed to be there. I knew that I needed to show up because if I didn't show up, I wouldn't have learned, I wouldn't have network, I wouldn't have been able to take my business what 10, 15 years? From 10, 15 years ago to now I wouldn't be in Florida being able to work with a professional athlete and being able to brand a lot of these different businesses and cosmologists and stuff like that. You know that that I never would have been able to do that none of this that I'm doing if I would have been like, oh, I don't have a few, or oh, I don't have a haircut, or oh, I don't this, I don't that, those things don't matter, just show up that's fair enough.

Speaker 2 16:28

And for the listeners that have not experienced in North Carolina summer, he said he's done this for a year and the North Carolina summers are very disrespectful okay, the humidity, the humidity alone, it's something that will make you rethink your life completely.

Speaker 2 16:46

So just keep that in mind, that you do. If you want to talk about resilience, I 100%, you know, commend you for that. That's truly resilience. So, talking about that, we want to go into, like the comfort zones. So someone like me I am truly an introvert, but due to my career I have to be, in introverted, extrovert at times as well so stepping outside of one's comfort zone can be very transformative as well and open up additional opportunities. Can you share a time when you had to do just that and expand your business relationships?

Speaker 3 17:23

so when I moved back home to say I was looking on my, my friend, cousin, I mean, we then grew up together so I just called him a cousin, so he let me sleep on his couch. And every night I'm like yo, what am I doing? Like I need to figure this out, like I don't want to go talk to people. I really don't like talking to people. But something has to change. I'm sitting here making these clothes and you know, the internet is cool. I'm making a little bit of money off of the internet, but I really need to get out and let people see me. So I think it was like three, four o'clock in the morning, right, I was on Craigslist. Believe it or not, I'm showing my age, but but. But. So I was on Craigslist and I found two things. I found the Cardinal building, which is where I ended up opening my studio. I think they was only charging $400 a month and I'm okay, I can do that. And then I found I can't think of a name, I think street level media where they wrap the buses and all of that stuff, pretty much all of that advertisement. That's in Fiji. So I I gave them a message, right, and I feel this day.

Speaker 3 18:48

I remember this conversation and this is what catapulted me to go out. I talked to I think the fun of the owner is named Jason Dawson or something like that, I can't think, but I know this last name is Dawson. The conversation that next morning was two hours. Okay, I talked to this young man and just the conversation gave me enough confidence. Like this is a white man who's on yacht, this man is very successful and we held a two hour conversation. So that in itself made me feel the confidence. Like, okay, you really got to get out here this.

Speaker 3 19:35

This was meant for you to have this conversation with him because yeah if you can hold this conversation with this man over the phone for two hours and you'll come from two different sides of the world you can do this, and that's really what helps me.

Speaker 3 19:51

That helped me get out to the confirmation yeah, but I say that to say like and I'm sure this is most entrepreneurial, especially when they're first starting out, they having those dark moments where it's like, yeah, what am I doing, what am I trying to do? How can I figure this out? 3, 4 o'clock in the morning, researching, research and finding things. You really have to open your mind and listen to the messages that are there, because 3, 4 o'clock in the morning, most people are free. So if you're, if you're finding that information that you really, really want, the information that you're like, okay, I like myself, how do I do this? And I'm finding that information? It's all about implementing. You have to implement what you learn in.

Speaker 2 20:36

ASAP agree I think I had a similar pivotal moment, you know, when I was 18 years old and I grew up in New York City and and this is like so trivial, but it was hot that summer. I'm gonna say it was like the summer of 97 and it was hot. And you know, people that are from New York know that New York really does not have central AC like we're blessed within itself, and I did not have an AC unit in my room and I and I woke up in the middle of night once against 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning and I am hot and that one thing I can't stand to be is hot or hungry.

Speaker 2 21:11

Like those are my two, like those will break me down right and I woke up and I said you know what this can't be it for me, like this is not what I want in life and I have to figure out a way to not experience this over and over again. And it was just a level of uncomfort. So I completely understand when you say, like getting outside of your comfort zone and those late nights, like if I feel, like if you're still, you can listen to what it is that you need to do, like it's already within you, but you have to be able to be comfortable with being still and you get those messages, you know when most people are sleeping.

Speaker 3 21:49

Right.

Speaker 2 21:50

And if you follow through with it, then you sort of kind of have your path and your guidance, like you'll have something that comes to you that doesn't necessarily make sense, but as you keep following that, at some point in time it starts making sense and it sort of kind of gives you a path. So I'm glad that you said like one, like that was your, your confirmation. You know immediately, like you're up in the middle of the night, you're looking, these things come to you. You know, who knows, if you were distracted in the middle of the day, if those are things that you would have been looking at as it was.

Speaker 2 22:22

But, then also you followed up on it. You didn't just see it and just leave it at that Like you followed up. You had the conversation and that conversation was confirmation to you and then you moved from that too. So it's it's about us having that insight, but also the follow up is really important on that.

Speaker 3 22:41

Yeah, and that's one of the hardest things to do is follow up, even even for yourself. But following up in business and when you meet someone, you know y'all hit it off, you have to call them, bang, like hey, you know, I would love to you know, do this service for you or solve the problem that you have? Like that's one of the hardest things because you have to be vulnerable and be like hey, I'm, I'm asking you for money off, pretty much like hey, would you buy my service? You know that's one of the hardest things to follow them up, but you just have to. You just have to step out of yourself and follow up.

Speaker 2 23:16

So before I go to the next question, since you said that, I have a question for you about you know brand new entrepreneurs, not someone you know that's been established, like yourself, but someone that's brand new. You know, when they're networking and you know they have a service that they're offering. How do you feel about you know them, sort of kind of starting off by doing something you know for free, like some not a huge project or something along those lines, but something that shows that hey, this person is valuable, or this person I like the way that they think, or you know they have a great service to offer. What are your thought process Because to me that's a part of networking as well is, you know, getting into those rooms and sometimes people don't know you. It's really hard for them, you know. It's just like when you get free samples in the mail, like people want you to use your stuff and they're going to send it to you in advance. So what's your thought on that?

Speaker 3 24:04

So that's kind of really how I started out is doing stuff for free. So of course, I came from the entertainment business. So it's funny because my life partner I met doing stuff for free, so they wanted to. They did a shop, small event downtown at the Sky Vee, and they reached out to Foxy 99 to try to sponsor and have a DJ, and all that. Of course they said no.

Speaker 3 24:34

So me, I don't know how to DJ. Okay, I will tell you straight up, I don't know how to DJ, but I knew, I knew that they needed help. It's two women working for themselves trying to make a way and do something for the city. So I was like you know what? I just bring my studio monitors and I paid for YouTube, the Prime YouTube, so I wouldn't have any and I curated a playlist and from that event my career just blew up, I'm going to tell you, because they was like wow, like this, the music was so good, like I'm like really, I got studio monitors, not you know how big, the Sky Vee is pretty big and I have, and I have some studio monitors these aren't really like to blast, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 25:35

But everybody was like, oh, can I get your contact? But it was all about the energy that I put into it. I did it for free, you know. And then from there everybody, and their mother, asked me to DJ. I'm like I'm like yo.

Speaker 3 25:53

this is not what I want to do, you know like this is not what I want to do, but that is really what helped me get to where I needed to be, because I was in front of so many people, I was in front of so many decision makers. So from there, I utilize me being a DJ and to introduce myself as an entrepreneur, as someone who can help their business, and then from there, man, the rest is history. So I do believe in doing things for free, but do strategic with it. You can't just always give something for free, because people are always going to go oh he did it for free this time, so he'll do it Right, you know. But just be strategic in. It has to be beneficial on both sides, you know right.

Speaker 3 26:43

Yeah, pay attention to that.

Speaker 2 26:47

That's great. So another thing that popped up from what you just said is you know, sometimes you know and I think this goes to the younger listeners you know I would say typically Gen Z Sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do to get to where you want. To be Correct, and I try to explain that to people all the time that as long as you're making movement and you are mapping out milestones like sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do it's going to get you the experience that you want or the exposure that you want, but that it's a step in the right direction to get to where you want to be. And I think in the stage or the you know world that we're in now, where there's instant gratification and people want to graduate high school and be CEOs, and I love that for them, I love the self-esteem and the confidence.

Speaker 2 27:38

But the reality of it is is that this world is managed and run by multiple generations and there are some generations that you know are just very stuck in their ways and that mindset and you have to do the work and I think that you bringing that up is just you know, is a testament to like sometimes you just have to do that and it's not always gonna be something that is, you know, postable or TikTok content or you know, instagram content. Like, sometimes we have to. Like I mean, we all pay our dues Like, I think people see the final product and don't realize the stuff that you have to do to get there. So, like you said, you know you were a homeless for a year and you know you got sort of kind of pigeonholed into DJing, even though you didn't really want to do it, but you did it so that it could open doors for you in other places.

Speaker 3 28:28

And it is.

Speaker 2 28:28

So that brings me to my next question. So that's the ingredients for success. So, in your opinion, what are the essential ingredients for a successful business relationship? So you know, for me, I think about things like trust, communication and mutual respect, and then how to nurture it over time what are your key components for a successful business relationship?

Speaker 3 28:51

Well, I'll say this this is still something that I, low key, have a problem with, and it's self right Understand yourself, believing in yourself and being confident in what you do, and that will transform your relationships, because they'll have what you said trust, they'll believe and they'll understand what you are, what you do, and you'll be able to nurture it.

Speaker 3 29:21

Just by having that confidence and having that knowledge for them and being able to explain that knowledge to them to a point where they understand, because sometimes it's hard for a creative or entrepreneur to explain what's in their head, because me, I'm a visual person, so everything in my head is visual, it's not words. I can't hear it, so I literally have to dissect it in my head to explain. So for me, it all starts with self. You have to understand self, understand your beliefs, understand what you're wanting to do, to put that energy out and present to a business owner or whoever it is that you're trying to build a relationship with, and then from there it's all about consistency and it's all about listening and understanding the problem so you can follow.

Speaker 2 30:18

So you say listening, and I think that's a key component in understanding problems and also solving problems. So, when you talk about listening, I think that that's something that we can go into a little bit more detail because, as I say frequently, we are taught to read, we are taught to write, we are taught to speak, but there is not a single class that any of us have taken that we learn how to listen. I try to listen empathetically, so, and the tactics that I teach my clients is to listen to an individual and then to repeat to them what they said for understanding purposes, and that gives another person an opportunity to say no, that's not what I meant, or gives an opportunity to say yes, that's exactly what I meant. And they understand that you listen empathetically and listen for understanding instead of response. So what are your tips that you use for listening to clients, to understand what their problems are, so that you can help in solving them.

Speaker 3 31:18

Yeah, so one is like you said just be quiet, don't say nothing, just listen, and then from there I take notes as well. Make sure that I am able to repeat back, because I have a bad memory, I have a bad memory.

Speaker 3 31:34

I have to write things down or I do a video or audio memo and then from there I just make sure that I go down the line of all of my notes and make sure that I hit those key points. You know, because if, when you're talking to a person and they hear their problem being said back to them, that in itself helps them or gives them some insight on okay, maybe just by hearing me say it back to them they're able to get some insight just off of the way I said it and just by me saying it back to them they're able to get an idea, or they're able to, and that shows the value of me.

Speaker 2 32:22

Okay, that definitely makes sense. Thank you for sharing that. So fostering collaboration to me with digital media. This is definitely the time of collaborations. You know you're always hearing people talking about you know, brands and you know collaborating, or people looking for influencers to collaborate, et cetera. But all collaborations aren't great collaborations. So how do you identify and foster successful partnerships with people that you've partnered with in the past, and how do you nurture them as well?

Speaker 3 32:59

So I'll say this like a lot of the relationships that I've built are from people that I've known. So, for instance, like one of my clients now she is the three-time BKSE Starweight Champion of the fastest growing bear knuckle league. Right, I met her through elementary school or middle school friend of mine who worked for the BKSE. So just by knowing him and him introducing me to her, that in itself nurtured that relationship because she was able to see that somebody in her circle trusted someone out of their circle, so that helped me get in the circle. So it's always important to not be scared to use your resources, because I'm sure everybody that went to school knows somebody that knows somebody that knows somebody. But in a lot of times we're too scared to say, hey, man, can you introduce me? Or hey, man, I didn't call him, he called me. He said, hey, I'm gonna be in Florida. I got you some tickets to this fight, come through. And I showed up and go right back to showing up.

Speaker 3 34:25

So it's all about showing up and using your resources and understanding your resources as well, and then from there it's all about betting. You have to literally pay attention If you want somebody to represent your business. Don't just be like the first time you see, oh I wanna do this, da, da, da, da da. Then you're stuck with a person that's gonna end up going to jail and you're all on TMZ because you know, I mean that's don't put good press, I mean all press is good press. But you don't really wanna start out that way, especially the newer entrepreneurs.

Speaker 3 35:02

But it's all about betting and paying attention to the person and really getting to know them. Take them out to lunch or bring them lunch and see how they react, or make them feel a certain way of reassurance, or give that family vibe to them to see how they react. You know it sucks that you have to test people, but I'm a tester. I will test you to see if this is good for you or not, because if I don't and I just say, hey, you know it was good vibes the first time we met, so I wanna give you $1,000 to post 10 things on your page or whatever. And then the next thing, you know they doing some craziness, you know. So it's just really being patient and paying attention to what your brand language is and how you want your brand to be presented, and then seeing and paying attention to the influence that you wanna work with.

Speaker 2 36:03

Okay, so we're gonna peel this back a little bit, because that just opened up a ton of questions for me. So, first and foremost, you said that a childhood friend, you know, is the one that introduced you. So the thing is is that sometimes when we talk about these relationships, you know, sometimes they fizzle out obviously from childhood or high school or college et cetera. But the other thing is is like sometimes people don't feel comfortable reaching out, Like let's say that you guys had a really great relationship, but time has passed.

Networking, Consistency, and Professionalism in Business

Speaker 2 36:37

I think that that's an area of connection that people need to dig into a little bit deeper, because did you remain friends with this individual throughout your time and you guys hit each other up here and there? Or was it just a random like, hey, you know I'm in, you know Florida, etc. Like those are things that I think people have issues with because, like you said, networking is important but there has to be like a give and take in that partnership or collaboration. You can't just be like, hey, can you post this on your feed, etc. And it not be reciprocal. So can you break that down a little bit so that people have a true understanding? Is the that you're not just going out asking people for stuff?

Speaker 2 37:18

that it has to be a reciprocal relationship.

Speaker 3 37:21

Right? So I'll say this it's really so. You know how people be like, oh, I'll post an achievement and I'll get two likes, but I'll post, you know, something malicious or something that's really not that important, and I'll get a hundred and some likes, or a thousand, right? So I say that to say all I did was post my success or post whatever I felt like I needed to put out for the world, right? And people are looking, okay, they're paying attention. They may not like, they may not comment, they may not share, but they're paying attention.

Speaker 3 38:08

And just by me being consistent on social media helped me, because me and my God, josh, that I went to school with, we didn't talk, we never, you know. And then I didn't have his phone number. I didn't have none of that. I admit I saw him at a favorite state event, I think it was like a job fair, and I was just going to see what was going on and see how, how I could implement myself into some of these businesses, and I saw him there representing the college and I was like hey, man, how you doing?

Speaker 3 38:39

And it was like you know how you first see somebody from school? Yeah, you know, and that's how it was Definitely Yep and we exchanged numbers but we never really talked. You know, we never really hit each other up or whatever like that. And periodically we'll see each other on on Facebook or whatever. I might like something or he may like something. But again, me being consistent on social media and showing what I do and for a living. He knew to call me when he came to Florida because I didn't tell him I live in Florida. He knew already because he's paying attention.

Speaker 2 39:19

Okay.

Speaker 3 39:20

Because I'm consistent, you know, and it all like I say always go back to self. If you go back to self and you have understanding, you are going to be able to conquer the world.

Speaker 2 39:35

Okay, that definitely makes sense. So your advice would be to be consistent, and I don't think, from what you're saying, you're not saying like, hey, just don't post your, don't only post your achievements, because obviously people are going to post what they want to post. But I mean, be consistent with your posting, though, like and, if more than anything else, then be authentic.

Speaker 3 39:55

Yes, be authentic, because if, if, if I wasn't, if I wasn't, and say, say I didn't, I wasn't posting, or anything like that. One, he wouldn't have known I was in Florida. Two, he wouldn't have known the type of business that I do, that his invite would have helped me land this, this bill. He knew already. He put me in a position for me to win Just off of what I post. I never talked to him what.

Speaker 3 40:24

I do. You know I'm saying so again. It's always important for you to, regardless if you get a reaction. Like I said in the beginning, a preacher may preach to a congregation of 300 people and one person gets saved. My God, josh. He saw me and said Okay, I think Carter J would be good in this position and I think he'll take advantage of it and that's what I do. That's awesome.

Speaker 2 40:48

The other thing about that is like we were just talking about maintaining, you know, those collaborations, those friendships is doing a freaking good job. Like don't have somebody you know, introduce you to somebody, have a partnership, and then one you're greedy or you do something shady or you know. I mean, just show up. I mean, business is about being consistent, like you said, but it's also about doing the right thing and doing a good job and standing out.

Speaker 2 41:19

Unfortunately, I think for us, as you know, people of color that we already have like the stigma that we're not going to have good customer service or bid or good business practices, which is why I always try to go above and beyond, like I try to show up, I try to respond, you know, quickly and efficiently, have professional responses, etc.

Speaker 2 41:38

I feel like you know, if somebody's like you know, if someone is providing you with this partnership or collaboration or they're introducing you to a potential client, then show up, be authentic, but also be professional, right. So if you take nothing else out of that conversation, you know, I think to me that's really important people to open doors for others. But me personally, I'm going to be very honest with you. If I don't feel like that ethic is there or there's something else. I'm not going to make the partnership with somebody, I'm not going to do the introduction, etc. And it's not because I don't think that your product is great, but I'm not going to attach my name to something. That for someone that's not going to show up or be professional, I mean because once again, that's also my name on the line as well. Have you experienced anything like that in the past?

Speaker 3 42:30

Oh, yeah, so.

Speaker 2 42:31

I? I ain't trying to put you on the spot, I'm not.

Speaker 3 42:36

No, it's. I've experienced it a lot, you know, and I think it's all about perspectives, you know, if there's always more than one side of the story. So I'm going to say this when I had a client. So I opened up a venue in Fayetteville called the creative space station and it was a makerspace, a co-working space which I will say this on record I own the first black co-working space in Fayetteville North.

Speaker 2 43:10

Carolina Good job.

Speaker 3 43:12

I don't get credit for that, but it's okay. But I know that I was and a lot of people know that I was Prior to the pandemic also, I want to say that it was before the pandemic, before they all started popping up.

Speaker 2 43:24

So, I am, I remember that, but I just want to put that out there. This, this wasn't pending, this was before, so you were definitely forward thinking.

Speaker 3 43:31

Yep. So so from there, so many people will come in, and this guy he was. He owned a barber shop or a school, a barber school, cosmetology school and he wanted me to do a video, a video commercial for his, for his school. And I was like, oh man, I have to, I have a wedding to go to, but I have a videographer for you. Now, he's a young, young guy and I didn't. I know that he could do the job. I knew he could do the job, right, so I sent him to do the job.

Speaker 3 44:12

And this man treated my contractor so badly. And then he, he ran around and said, oh, carter J, or the creative space, space, you need to do a bad job. Then he came to my shop and I told him I was like, hey, I'll keep you happy, your money back. But I honestly feel that I shouldn't, because, one, he did the job. Two, this man was there for 10 hours. He, I only booked him for two hours. She's now this is a young man, this is a high school student, senior, right, he didn't see them, he didn't do nothing, right? So I'm like you know, I, I understand you saying that you don't like the footage. And he said, oh, I had to teach him some like I don't believe that you know.

Speaker 3 45:15

So of course they say the customer is always right. I disagree, and and it's hard as a black entrepreneur To be able to tell a customer that they're wrong. And then that's where. That's where you get the attitude oh, the customer service isn't good, and this and that and this and that. See, when you go into a situation already negative, you're going to get negativity. So a lot of people that be like, oh, I'm going to try this black restaurant out, but if they have this and that, I'm going to be this and I'm going to be that. You know how they go, so I know.

Speaker 3 46:02

So when you go in, you already get that attitude and so the customer service. They already can feel this energy. So you get with the year and I really hate that. We have that, that that mentality of I'm coming in here With expectations of it to be a fail. That's not fair to the business owner, that's not fair to the customer service of people that work in that business. You know that energy is huge and it rubs off so they could have great, great service and and as black people, we don't tolerate attitude. Well you know, but of course, yes, you need to be professional to see me. I have a rule you get three trials. After that third time you're going to get the other side. Regardless, regardless of professionalism or not, I'm still human. I'm not a robot. Yeah, and I really would love for our community to understand that People of color in business are human Right. We will go to a white restaurant or any other ethnicity restaurant, have bad service and then next week go back. Yeah.

Speaker 2 47:31

I mean, I got a coat like.

Speaker 3 47:32

Right. So why can't that that same mentality be with your other counterparts? Like it's not fair. You know, I know I kind of went against the question, but that's that's. I want to go against it because it's not fair. It's not fair that we, we give ourselves a hard time off the gate. You know, and we're so judgmental to each other that that hurts our business, because as soon as you find a piece of hair and somebody food at a black restaurant, they go on on Facebook. They go on Facebook, they go on on take time, they go on Instagram to tell the whole world. But let that be somebody else that they may not know or somebody that doesn't look like them. It's going to be totally different and it sucks.

Speaker 2 48:25

You know, I, I agree, but I sort of kind of disagree because I think let's talk about the small community of favor for example I feel like there are a lot of, you know, minority business owners that are on social media talking about their business, et cetera. This and that with very high expectations.

Speaker 2 48:46

I think in smaller businesses, right, you don't necessarily see that, which is why you know you can go to the restaurant person and say X, y and Z.

Speaker 2 48:56

But I feel like if you are very vocal about your business, you should be able to take criticism as well, like, yes, I should address it, you know, with you while I'm at the restaurant, versus just addressing it on social media. But at the same time, you know, if you are social media oriented, or if I dress it at the restaurant and I don't get a result, I mean, am I not supposed to not say something in a foodie group or something along those lines about my experience, and then maybe it'll be taken seriously because now other people are seeing it Like I think that one of the other things about customer services is that if there's no visibility, that people have a tendency to swipe stuff under the rug, and that's how we get bad service. But now, with social media and online marketing, et cetera, and Yelp and other things, that we have an opportunity to speak about our experiences and I'm not saying like someone should change their mind based off of my experience. Go experience it yourself at least once.

Speaker 2 49:49

But, if you have consistent reviews that are the same, then you know, to me that's when it becomes an issue. Or the people that clap back on social media. You know well why didn't you contact me? I mean, I've had a local business owner contact me and say, hey, you know why didn't you try to address it? I did try to address it there. I mean you weren't there. I'm supposed to call you. I don't call the CEO of McDonald's and tell him that my mail was messed up.

Customer Service and Online Networking

Speaker 2 50:13

So no, like I mean, if you don't have people within your business that are going to address it the correct way, that's not my problem, that's yours, and I'm not taking my post down because it offends you. This is my experience. I didn't say don't go there, I just said my experience. So you know, to me it's sort of kind of is it's in the middle, but I think that people just need to do better in general.

Speaker 3 50:35

That is a fact. That is a fact. I totally agree and I'll say this you know I've heard this, I've heard this before that you know black people should not and I'm not trying to make this a race thing but black people should not belittle each other in public. Um, a part of me agrees and a part of me don't agree, just like you said, a part of the part of me that is that doesn't agree. I mean, a part of me that does agree with that is because, again, we're so hard on each other and the way things come off for a disgruntled customer can, can really damage, can really damage an entrepreneur or a creative in the sense.

Speaker 3 51:31

Um, but again, like you said, like you just have to do better, um, but I definitely feel like there are some steps that we should take before we go black. And, like you said before, hey, I tried to handle that, the restaurant. That didn't happen, so I made a review or I made a post. That's understandable, you know, especially if you go into the necessary steps. Um, but I will always say, if, if, if, this possible, try to go to the restaurant or the owner, or whatever, or whoever a decision maker is, and give them your gripe before you do anything else, you know, because I don't expect things to be perfect at all Anywhere.

Speaker 2 52:24

This is not just um black entrepreneurs. I don't expect things to be perfect anywhere, right? But, what I do expect is there for there to be professional communication. Just like you know, I would give so if someone had an issue with my product, et cetera. I'm not going to be defensive. I'm going to listen to what they're saying and then try to provide a resolution, right. Like that goes back to me with the eight habits, or um the seven habits of highly effective people.

Speaker 2 52:48

You think when, when, what's going to make you happy, what's going to make me happy? That should always be our mindset into going into situations but, that's not necessarily the case.

Speaker 2 52:55

People automatically get defensive because it's their business. Well, your business is not going to be perfect Okay, unless you're a CEO with 20 years experience. And even they make mistakes, like if you're a small business entrepreneur, you're going to make mistakes. So take the constructive criticism and do something about it, and you know and just say thankful, you know, thank you, you know, I appreciate your feedback. Is there anything that I can do to make this better? That that right. There is a simple answer to go across the board. Most of the time people tell me that I'm like no, I don't want the meal comp, I'm just giving you my feedback and that's it. I do that all the time. It's not about me getting money back or anything else like that. It's about me giving you feedback because I enjoyed a large aspect of it. But this part made it enjoyable for me and I would love to see you fix this so that I can come back to your business. We don't see that a lot because there's a lack of professionalism or sometimes people don't have that customer service.

Speaker 2 53:47

I strongly think that people should take customer service classes, especially when you want to open up a business, so I'm glad that we touched on that. But now that we're talking about social media and digital landscape but so much of our world moving online how do you adapt your relationship bonus strategies to the digital landscape too?

Speaker 3 54:05

Um, so I am transitioning from Instagram and Facebook and Tik Tok I'm strictly focused on reading, because there's a different quality of clientele or potential clientele on LinkedIn and also paying that $69 or the $600 for the year to be able to directly message whoever you want to reach. Or if I want to reach the CEO of Microsoft and I can literally send him a message just by paying that description.

Speaker 3 54:57

I did it yesterday. I went to a black leadership summit and one of the leading designers for Microsoft was there and I'm really trying to work with Microsoft because I created a memorabilia card with their technology and, sure enough, as soon as he got off of that stage, I went and talked to him, told him what I wanted to do. First thing he pulled out was a LinkedIn. He was like, hey, scan my QR code and send a message. Now I had already followed him on LinkedIn. He had on him Sam and it was all about preparation. When he pulled it out, I scanned it, I sent him a message. He sent me a message in the sense and it's all about being able to show up and utilizing both in-person and digital, because in-person, people don't really want to do in-person nowadays.

Speaker 3 56:05

You have to. You have to because, again, there's so much fake stuff on the internet. Now you have to show that you're real. You have to show that you're really adamant about what you're trying to do. You can post something all day, people be in the camera all day, but that don't mean that you're really out here doing it. If you showing up and you showing up on the internet and you showing up in-person. Okay, yes, let me see what this person is about. Let me see how I can connect with this person or how I can help this person, because that puts me at a better chance of getting a collaboration if I just stays online. But it's very important to be online but, like I said, it's all up to me. I'm not the person that's for the likes and the views and shares and stuff like that. Those things are nice, but I'd rather pay $69 a month and be only being able to talk to the CEO of a 500 fortune company.

Speaker 2 57:08

That definitely makes sense. That is a good tip that I'm pretty sure a lot of people don't think about. I mean, when you're in any aspect of business, going to the commercial side of it versus individuals is definitely impactful as well, because now you have an opportunity to not necessarily market, but engage in conversation to actual corporate businesses and to gain their attention. For them to utilize your product or your services too, that is definitely a very good and out of the box approach. I appreciate that, and I'm pretty sure the listeners do too. Another tip about that like being that you mentioned LinkedIn.

Speaker 2 57:51

I strongly encourage people to get away from those paper business cards. I have a digital QR code that has all my stuff on it. It has my business address, it has my career information, it has a picture on it. All somebody has to do is scan my QR code and all my stuff is on there. So my LinkedIn, they can email me, call me, they can go to my business address, my business email, all of that to my website, et cetera. It doesn't cost anything.

Speaker 2 58:24

I strongly recommend people to use POPL, which is P-O-P-L, and do a digital business card for that and just have it readily available. Mine is on my screensaver on my phone. People have beautiful pictures or whatever. That's my screensaver, because I don't have to go scroll or nothing. Just scan this and let's keep in touch. That's my little tip for people as well on talking about that, because your approach is absolutely what we should be doing. Thank you for being so forward thinking. So the last question I guess I have is about what advice would you give to aspiring professionals looking to build strong and enduring relationships in the business world.

Speaker 3 59:08

One know what you want to do. Surround yourself around people that are doing what you do, but better, and then create something of your own. So what I mean by that is, if you're say, you're a tax person and you do taxes, create an event and have a monthly event, regardless of one person's show is up, or if nobody shows up, you show up until people show up and then from there, you're building a platform of people that either need your services, provide the services that you provide, and they provide them better. Okay, it's very important to create your own platform, you know, because if you don't, you're always going to have to depend on somebody else. It's okay to depend on other people, but you want to have quality people to depend on. So I always say create something of your own and be consistent with it. Understand what you really, really want. Surround yourself around people that are like-minded or above your thought process.

Speaker 2 1:00:36

Okay, that's definitely good information. You have provided a lot of thinking and thought processes and changes for people that want to network. So how can people keep up with you and these gems that you give and even if they want to collaborate, reach out to you. What are your socials?

Speaker 3 1:00:57

So, yeah, you can find me on social media Instagram or Facebook Carter J Ville underscore and the business that I am focusing on, because I have a few, but the business that I'm focusing on right now is called Lab111, where we brand steel professionals, so you can find us at wwwlab111procom.

Speaker 2 1:01:23

Great, Well, I want to thank you, carter J, for your wisdom and experiences and sharing that with us today. Thank you to the listeners for joining us in this chaotic yet enlightening journey. Remember, in the world of business, it's not just about what you know, but who you know and how you connect with them. So until next time, embrace the chaos and keep building those bridges.

Speaker 3 1:01:47

Thanks for being on. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 1:01:50

That's it for this week's episode of Perfectly Chaotic with Melissa B. Be sure to subscribe in your favorite podcast app so that you don't miss our next episode. Until then, remember, chaos is perfectly fine.