Weight Loss for Life

Summer’s Story of Sustainable Weight Loss

January 31, 2023 Keri & Matthea The WLCC Season 1 Episode 99
Weight Loss for Life
Summer’s Story of Sustainable Weight Loss
Show Notes Transcript

In this podcast episode, we’re delighted to be joined by special guest Summer Brooks, who is a member of The School of Sustainable Weight Loss. Summer came into the program having lost an incredible 90 lbs. Her goal? To keep it off.

Before she joined, Summer was a strong emotional eater, and had a horrible relationship with her body and food. While she’d worked hard to identify some of those issues, she didn't know how to pick those feelings apart in a way that was doable and sustainable. 

Summer shares with us how the thought work in the program helped her to move away from calorie counting, how she conquered ‘scale anxiety’, and how she fixed her relationship with food. She also gives us 5 pieces of advice for sustainable weight loss.

Listen now to hear her remarkable journey of progress and self-development.

To read the full show notes for this episode, visit http://www.thewlcc.com/100


01:40 - “Until I found the program, I really didn’t know how to pick those feelings apart in a way that was doable and sustainable.”

13:15 - “Even though I was able to get 90+ pounds off, I knew that the way I did it was not able to be done long term.”

13:26 - “This is for life and I need to be able to live a real life and enjoy eating with friends and family and not living in that diet mindset that ‘I can’t do that’ or ‘I can’t have that’.”

14:55 - “It is not the norm for people to be able to maintain weight loss.”

17:34 - “If you want to lose weight and keep it off for the long term, you just cannot be in a hurry. It’s gonna take a while.” 

23:11 - “If you feel like you have made a mistake, or you’re beating yourself up because you think, ‘I shouldn’t have eaten that’, forgive yourself and move on. Just make the next best decision that will support you.”

29:16 - “Motivation is fleeting. You just have to stay the course. You’re not always gonna feel motivated to do it.”

Time Stamps

01:02 - We find out about what Summer’s relationship with food was like before she became a member. 

02:12 - Summer explains why losing weight wasn’t the main goal for her when she joined the program.

03:29 - We discover what made Summer realize there was more to it than just counting calories.

04:30 - Summer describes what her eating patterns were like on her worst days.

06:40 - We gain an insight into how she managed to lose the 90 lbs before joining the program.

08:12 - We learn how Summer figured out which foods were not making her feel good.

10:05 - Summer shares the main things that were problematic in terms of her relationship with food.

12:57 - We find out if Summer has continued to lose weight since being on the program.

16:34 - Keri asks what the biggest thing was that helped her conquer ‘scale anxiety’.

19:38 - We compare what a ‘bad day’ looks like for her nowadays.

23:07 - Summer shares one tip she would give to women in a similar situation to hers that will help move them forward.

24:47 - Summer reveals what she would say to someone who still feels restricted and has a negative relationship with food.

25:47 - We learn how she remained engaged and ‘on track’ throughout her time in the program.

27:44 - Summer gives advice to members who are at the start of their journey on the program.

30:21 - Dr Matthea asks her to share one final tip for a woman who might feel desperate, has tried everything and feels stuck on the diet hamster wheel.

All right. We have such a special guest today. We have Summer Brooks who is a member of the School of Sustainable Weight Loss, so welcome Summer. It's so wonderful to have you here on the podcast. Thank you for having me. Great. So I wanna just get straight into it because you have had such a remarkable journey and what Matteo and I have witnessed from you and your progress and your development and you know, you've just made leaps and bounds in terms of the way that you've applied things. And. And before we go into that, which I think is gonna be a really interesting part of the story, I would love to hear a little bit more about what were things like before with your relationship with food, with your relationship, with your body and your weight before you came across the Weight Loss Life podcast before you, you know, became a member. What was it like then? Well, way back when, I was definitely a strong emotional eater. I, every time I had an emotion of just about any kind and I had a horrible relationship with my body, I really, really hated it. I worked really hard. Even before I found the program to try to identify some of those, I kind of already was feeling that I was emotionally eating, but until I found the program, I really didn't know how to pick those feelings apart in a way that was doable and sustainable. Mm. Okay. So you were emotionally eating quite a lot with all sorts of different emotions, and how were you feeling about your weight at that point? Because I seem to remember that you came into our program not necessarily with weight as a goal in terms of wanting to release body weight, but I think it was more around the relationship with food. Can you tell us a little bit about. Yeah, before I found the program, I had already learned a lot about hunger hormones and I struggle with insulin resistance, so I kind of figured out what was, what would work for me in that situation and I was able to lose about 90 pounds before I even found the program. So I was very happy with my weight loss, but I still was unhappy with my relationship with food, even though I had somewhat fixed it. It really. It really wasn't fixed the way I knew that it needed to be to, in order to keep that weight off long term. Mm-hmm. That's such a good point that you bring up because first of all, congratulations on all that weight loss. Right? And I remember when you came in, we were like, that's amazing, but it's what you picked up on. And I think women know this, right? Like maybe they've lost some weight and for you that's re that's really significant weight, right? But it's like, if I wanna keep this off, which that's one of the things I wanna talk about with you. That's you, you've been very much so an outlier with being able to keep this weight off. But it's because you realize, okay, I don't like X, Y, Z. Like that's not gonna work long term for me. And I think. what do you think it was that allowed you to realize, like, this isn't about like counting another calorie or more points, but like figuring out this other side. What do you think like allowed you to do that? I think the thought work in the program is what really made me come away from. Counting all the calories and worrying about exactly what I was doing. I was really stuck in this research and discovery mode. And I couldn't get out of it because I kept thinking, well, there's gotta be something else. And I have to, you know, there's something out there that I just can't find. And if I had this one magical thing, it would solve my problem. But really learning how to journal. About food, how to think about food, how to work through processes. When I do struggle with urges, which those unfortunately never go away, no matter how much work you do, especially if you've struggled with some kind of disordered eating in the past. Interesting. So I'm curious to know, could you paint a little bit of a picture for us then as to what was it like say for you on your worst day when you still had this, you know, disordered relationship with food? I'm just wondering like how someone can perhaps identify with whether or not they're in your shoes, where you were at or that time ago. Well, my worst day would look something like this. I would drink a lot of coffee for breakfast, usually with a lot of cream and sugar in it to give me that boost of energy I needed. I would be really busy all morning, so maybe I wouldn't eat anything until the afternoon after I've taken care of everyone else and everything else that needed to be taken care of. And then I would stand at the kitchen counter and I would. Half a bag of potato chips and drink a pop, and then I would continue taking care of everything and everybody else, I'd be exhausted. At the end of the day, I'd probably overeat dinner because I was so tired, and then I would usually not snack at night, but I would not get good sleep at all. I would go to sleep late and I would get up really early. So that would be kind of my worst, worst sort of day. Hmm. That paints a really rich picture actually. It's like that's, I don't, I don't know if you were in this mindset, but it made me think of, you know, that that kind of mentality you get into when you are deep into the diet culture and you don't realize what's going on at that time, and it's like, oh, I can just drink coffee and I don't have to eat, and oh, if I'm not hungry, I can put it off for a bit longer. You know, I'll just keep busy. And you make yourself so over hungry, you end up really overeating later on, and it just sabotages everything. Yeah, it's that like bargaining. I used to do this in college when I was trying to lose weight, and it would be like, well, if I'm gonna have the latte then, then we're not going to eat until whatever time. It was like really arbitrary, not listening to my body. Just things happening in space and time and I'm always feeling bad, but I never really break the pattern. Yeah. Absolutely. So you and you managed to lose 90 pounds, which is amazing. What was it that you did that allowed you to release all of that weight? Well, I did count. Calories and whatever fashion it was. You know, I've used different programs or whatever, but that really wasn't what did it for me. It was really learning what kinds of foods I needed to eat, because I've tried all these things for years, you know, years and years, probably 20 plus years. But really learning how to eat in a way that supports my body. with those hunger hormones, keeping my blood sugar regulated and down, not eating all the time. So I'm not on that, you know, ro roller coaster of blood sugar. So that's really what helped me lose the weight, which is what I liked about this program. And to be honest, that's one of the things that drew me to it because I thought, you know, I know that they understand that there's more to it than just counting, you know, points or calories or whatever. There's, there's more behind, behind the science of it. You had mentioned something kind of in the, in the beginning course of working together. I think at that time when you joined our program, we had an aspect where there was like a written Slack channel, you know, where we would be able to write, and you talked about how you really wanted to bring in certain foods, but they felt they didn't feel good in your body. And so it's, it was interesting. It's like before it was kind of like, Diet culture that I'm having to cut it out, but then you almost got to this place of like, but some of these foods don't work for me. Can you talk us through like how did that work for you to figure out like what actually feels good for me and me saying no, because it doesn't work, versus like, it's not feeling like diet culture. That was really difficult for me. And to be honest, I still struggle with that sometimes. For me, a lot of the things that don't feel good in my body I don't wanna say normal, but normal people eat like rice and oats and, you know, different kinds of grains and things like that. But I discovered over the years that when I would eat those kinds of things on a regular basis, I would feel. Lethargic and depressed and you know, just not very motivated to do things. And I feel like over time the, that feeling just wasn't worth it for me anymore. So maybe I really wanted that bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, but I knew that by lunchtime I really wasn't gonna feel very good. So now I don't really eat those things very much because I don't really want them anymore. I love that you talk about, you know, this isn't necessarily like a flash in the pan story where it's like, wow, you join our program, everything turns around and you know, because I don't think that's really realistic, and I love that you're highlighting that, you know, you still get urges, you still, you know, like work your way through them and there's still certain foods that you like. I kind of wish that I could eat that, but I know it's not that great for me and. You know, it's just, it's a real genuine human story, I think, around changing your relationship with food. And I know I get that as well because I grew up eating things like porridge and oats, and I still wanna eat those things sometimes, you know, it's like, oh, it's so comforting, especially in winter, and then I'm finding my energy drops by the time it's lunchtime, and I'm just not that great on them, you know? So it's a very similar thing. So, yeah. I love that you mentioned that. So I'm curious to know, what do you think you know, are the, the main things that were problematic in terms of your relationship with food? Like, what has actually changed for you since you started looking at things in a slightly different way through the journaling and through the thought work that you do now? Well, I think the biggest thing with food for me would be the good and bad. I really was in that diet culture mindset where certain foods were just deemed as bad off limits. I shouldn't eat them, but what would happen is I would get in that binge restrict cycle. So I would restrict and I wouldn't eat certain foods, but everyone around me was eating them. And eventually that, you know, willpower or motivation to not eat it just gives up and I would binge on those foods. So I think for me, learning how. Eat foods, maybe responsibly, I guess maybe that's not the right word, but eat, eat those certain foods on occasion in a way that still supports my body, has been probably the number one thing I've walked away from this program specifically with. That is such a big one, right? Like probably like everyone listening is like nodding like, yes, yes. And like it's so internalized, like I don't know about you, but even now with like years of doing it in a different way, I still like when the holidays come, I will still be like, oh, you can't have the cookies. And I'm like, no, you can have whatever you want, but we're gonna choose how we do it. Like you, I like how you said, how you figure out how to do it in a way that's supportive, right. because again, it's like you can do anything you wanna do, but you wanna like how you feel the next day, things like that. So it's a really different place. So I'm glad that you brought that up. And I find sometimes it takes people a really long time to like fully realize how entrenched that is. And I think, again, I'm just coming back to Facebook things cuz some of them have really stuck with me that you said in the Facebook group, one of them, you, you were. I always think I've gotten all the way there and then another thing will pop up and I'm like, whoa, that's diet culture, right? Like you think you've gotten all the way to the bottom of it, and then another thing just like pops its little head out. It just shows how, I don't know if the word prolific is right, but it shows how saturated it is in our current lives that they're constantly trying to get that messaging in. So we always need to be thinking about it in a different way. If we wanna feel differently with like a, a non tortured relationship with food, where it's natural and feels good how we're doing. Yeah, I completely agree. It's almost like because we have. It's second emmic. Throughout our society, we're always being exposed to advertisements for easier diets, easier ways to lose weight, but then also on the flip side, all the burgers, all the chips, all the cookies, all the sugar, and it's like all the things that your brain loves. It's just such a, you know, pleasure driven thing, isn't it? It's like, I want that, you know? So, the idea that there is a start and an a finite start and end is a little bit diet culture in itself. It's like this is just an ongoing journey, an ongoing process, and we, we just manage it as we go through. So, yeah. So have you lost weight since you started this program? Has that been a part of what you've done? Have you continued to lose weight from the 90 pounds that you originally lost? Not really Ex. but that's not really what I wanted to do. At this point I would like to lose a little bit still. But right now I was really focusing on being that scientist and figuring out what was gonna work for me long term. What could I live with forever? What's gonna be sustainable? Because even though I was able to get 90 plus pounds off, I knew that the way I did it was not gonna be able to be done long term because this is real life and I need to be able to live a real life and enjoy eating with friends and family and not living in that diet mindset that I can't do that, I can't have that. I can't be with friends. I can't go to your house and eat your food. I can't, you know? So I think for me it was really just learning how to. Be that scientist and figure out what's gonna work and what's gonna be sustainable. That word sustainable is something I probably didn't really think about before, but now it's become top priority. So even though I haven't lost a lot of weight, maybe a couple pounds here and there but my trend. The whole time I've been on the program has been maintenance, and I'm okay with that. That's the point that I wanted to get to. But a lot of people are able to have success when they do start the program because there's a lot of things that they have never learned before, like. Hunger hormones and how to do thought work and think about things. So I think that it's a great program for that reason. I really do like that we focus on not just the amount of food you're eating, but what kind of foods you're eating. How does it feel in your body? What, what makes you feel good? And that's really something that diet culture does not talk about at. And I just wanna highlight here because with you maintaining, and I say this all the time, and that's when I, like my little medical hat comes on, but it is not the norm for people to be able to maintain their weight loss. So it is a massive, massive, massive skill on. Many, many fronts cuz you're describing you, you learned so many things to be able to lose this weight and keep it off. So the fact that, it's interesting, a lot of people I think will say, okay, well I still wanna lose X, Y, Z. They're focused on that. What I'm hearing is you're really focused on how can I do this for life? How can I make this, you know, fit into every single scenario? That's a massive. Win. Like I was just talking to another client earlier today and she said, I would've never focused on all the weight I've kept off. I would only focus on what I still need to lose. So I just wanna say not everyone. In fact, most people statist statistically just go ahead and gain it right back. They're not maintaining or figuring it out long term. No, that's a great point cuz when you were talking summer, it kind of reminded me of some of the earlier times when we were coaching. Cause I know you joined when we were doing a program called the Weight Loss for Life program, I believe it was. And then we kind of morphed into the school of sustainable weight loss and we used to talk to you on Slack and I remember. You didn't have that sense of peace around the scale and your weight initially at the start. So that, I wonder, you know, how much of a transformation that has been for you? Because I remember doing a little bit of coaching with you around, you know, the, the number on the scale and how you were feeling and what to do about that and the types of foods and, you know, you've obviously worked through that a lot. So I'm wondering. You know, given that that was maybe six to nine months ago, what would you say is the biggest thing that's helped you through that scale of anxiety? That's my label for it. I don't know if you'd call it that. You know, what's changed that relationship with the scale for you? I think it's really been figuring out that I'm not really looking for weight loss. I'm looking for fat loss, and that scale doesn't always represent that in the best way. So I feel like worrying more about. What direction I'm going as far as how I feel about my body and, you know, how strong I feel is a lot more important than what that number on the scale says and that number. Created so much anxiety from me because of diet culture, you know, going to meetings once a week and getting weighted and, you know, everything being based around that number created a lot of anxiety because you wanna hurry up and get to whatever your goal number. And so that causes that feeling of wanting to hurry. And I realized that if you wanna lose weight and keep it off, For the long term, you just cannot be in a hurry. It's gonna take a while. Oh my gosh. I love that you bring that up cuz I'm always like, hurry. It's like the thief of sustainable weight loss and everyone wants to be there overnight because of what you said though. Cuz I'm always like, it's never about the scale. You get to feel a certain way, you get to think certain things. You, you allow yourself to start doing certain activities or maybe buy yourself certain things or invest in yourself in certain ways. And it's like really pretty much like 99% of that's available now. Now I will acknowledge certain things change when the weight's down. Right? Like maybe life gets a little bit easier to navigate, things like that. But a lot of it is, like I always say, if you reach that goal in five years and then you were there the rest of your life and you didn't have to keep cycling for 20, 30, 40 years, I mean, that's what women experience. They start in childhood and then their whole life is run by this. If we could solve it in a few years, would that be worth it? It doesn't sound appealing, but when you're there and you're experiencing it, you're like, yes, I'll take it. I will take this. Absolutely. And I love what you say as well about how we focus so much on the mass, on the scale, and I don't think we talk about this enough in the world of weight loss. It's like, yeah, but that rep represents your organs, your bones, your skin, your blood volume. It's like we don't want muscle to waste away. We don't want muscle to be burnt off. We don't want our bones getting less dense. Maybe a little bit of. It's exactly what you need. So I love that you've switched your focus there to strength, cuz it's not the only metric, is it, it's just one of the metrics. I mean, if only we could all get a DEXA scan, you know, all the time. So we know what's going on in our body. It would be great, wouldn't it? But it's just not available to us all So so you, you've gave given a really lovely picture of where you were at before in terms of, you know, that that terrible day, your worst day when you were suffering with your relationship with. So what would you say your worst day looks like now? Because it's not all roses, right? We have our good days, we have our bad days. So what's a bad day look like for you nowadays? Well, I hardly ever will use food anymore to compensate for some kind of sleep deprivation or emotional trigger. I don't really do that very often. If I use anything, it would be coffee, I tend to go for a cup of coffee for that kind of buffer I guess that I might need mentally. But my worst day, it's probably involving some kind of sleep deprivation. Sleep decoration is a big thing for me. If I don't get enough sleep, then I really cannot. Good judgment calls the next day, and instead of eating chips and drinking a pop for lunch, I might still go for something quick because I'm tired, but I've already prepared those kinds of things ahead of time. So I kind of do the prep work before knowing that if I have this. Moment where maybe I know that I'm not gonna make the best decision, I'm already ready for it. I've already prepared, and even if that just means mixing some tuna salad up, you know, and having it in the fridge for a week or so that I can just grab it and go and not worry about it, then that's kind of where I go now. So my worst day really would. Maybe drinking a little too much coffee because I'm too tired or I'm dealing with something emotional because that does happen and I still fight those urges. But because I've used so much thought work and journal work before this, I can catch myself before I get to that moment. But there are times I still think, man, I'd really like to eat that cookie. But now I take that pause. I think about it. Sometimes I eat it, sometimes I don't. But we all have those moments. That has to just be so inspirational for so many women listening right now that you know, when you've been doing this work for several years, that you're not using the food in the same way you used to. Like, that is a big thing of what I'm hearing, and that's frankly amazing. Because again, and I think you can attest this, it's not easy to have to have that transformation. And again, we're not saying perfection right now. Like none of us are ever saying that it's not something that we pretend happens, but it just sounds like you're in this radically different place where you are at. We talk a lot about, you know, like the different stages of healing, emotional overeating, and like stage four when you've arrived, as I notice. I don't always make the decision to do it. I can when we say pause, like you can stop yourself from doing it. That's like level a hundred mastery, right? And so that's a lot of, you know, what I hear from you when you're, when you're, when you're sharing this with us. Absolutely. I mean like, I love hearing about your journey and hearing more about where you were at because obviously you've been coaching with us for a while. We get a sense of, you know, where you've been, but like learning more today and having a richer picture has been really, really interesting. And I'm wondering if I give you a couple of. Like kind of rapid fire questions around advice that you would have for women at different stages. You know, do you have some top tips? I'm gonna put you on the spot a little bit, but no But you know, if, if there's anyone out there that's listening to the podcast and maybe they are in the position that you were in before you learned about hunger hormones, before you learned about what to to eat before you lost that 90 pounds of weight, what's the one thing you. Say to women who are there in that place right now as a tip to move them forward? I would say forgive yourself. So if you feel like you have made a mistake or you're beating yourself up because you think I shouldn't have eaten that, forgive yourself and move on. Just make the next best decision that will support. Ah. I love that you said that because I know that the practical thing that you've also done is you've learned about foods and you've learned about hormones and what to do about that, but that wasn't your answer actually. It's more about the mindset. It's more about the don't beat yourself up. That's brilliant. Okay, so, oh, sorry. Go. Wait, I'm sorry. I literally almost brought tears to my eyes somewhere when you said that because I was thinking. That was my first step too. Yeah, it was, was just, I was still overeating and for months and months, like I'm about to cry for months and months. I was like, I just, it's okay that you need to do this right now, but we're gonna figure it out. I started to get nice instead of just like thinking that there's something wrong with me and I gotta do this more. So when you said this, just forgive yourself. Move on, make the next best choice. I get chills cuz I'm like, that resonates with me and maybe someone else Hearing that you don't even need to do big things, but can you start with how you talk to yourself? Be. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so that's what you would say to women who are in that. It's 90 pounds plus overweight. Not sure what to do. So what about the woman then who may have gone into some kind of diet, some kind of program, has successfully lost the scale weight, but still feels restricted, still feels deprived, still feels a little bit weird around food. Doesn't have a, an easeful, joyful relationship. What would you say to her? I would say be a scientist. Don't be afraid to figure out what you can live with, because we might have been able to lose weight, but maybe it wasn't in a way that you could live with forever. So I think being that scientist, figuring out what's gonna work for you personally, because we're all so different. We live in different food environments, we have different family situations, work situations. Everything. So if we can just figure out what's gonna work for us in the long term, not short. Love it. I, Carrie, I don't know the next question we have, but I wanted to ask one real quick. Mm-hmm. cause this is what I was wondering. How do you think it is that you've stayed engaged all this time? Like, I, cuz I see you even within our program, like you don't kind of like drop off. You're, you're in some capacity. I see you maintaining connection and it's not even coming at every call. But how have you stayed on track all this time? What do you think? I think I've made myself a priority. That's something I did not do in the past. I worried a lot about other people, my family, my friends, taking care of others, but I realized at some point that it was really important for me to take care of myself. It was much easier for me to take care of others or to help others if I take care of myself first. Mm-hmm. and my health was really important and I think knowing. If I wanted to take care of people long term, that my health was E extremely important and I needed to be healthy and be able to live in a way that allowed me to care for my family. I love that. Sometimes that's the easiest route because. Being able to sell people who, and especially mothers, on the idea that, you know, if you actually love yourself, you make yourself a priority, you, you know, up your self worth, you know that's gonna be so good for you and your family. But sometimes we, we can't quite get there in one leap. And so using the other angle of, well, if I wanna be around and take care of my family and my friends and whoever, Is in my life in a really great way. I need to make myself a priority. That can be such a great way into all of that. Definitely. Yeah. Wonderful. That's a great question, Matt Mateo. And it's kind of relates to something that I was wondering as well. So we've spoken about before you lost weight, we've spoken about after you lost weight, but you still had that relationship with food that wasn't ideal. So what about now that you've been in our program for, I wanna say around about maybe. Seven, nine months. I can't remember exactly, but you were one of the early birds, you know, you are one of our original OGs. So what would you say to our members? Because some of the people who have taken that step, they've come into the program, they're in it, they're learning the thought work, they're doing the things. It's not easy at the start. What would you say to those people to help them through that time? I would say you really just have to keep going because it's not easy. It's really difficult. And even though I think I've been in the program something like nine months or so, I still struggle with. My relationship with food, I'm not going to make it seem like I've already reached the pinnacle and everything is happy and good for me, but I still struggle with my relationship with food. I struggle with, you know, do I eat carbs? Do I do this? Should I eat this? You know, those diety mindsets can still still come back. So I think you have to try to just continually put those aside and. You know, think of things openly and not with these mindsets, and that can be difficult at times, but it's just part of the process and how long that process lasts for everyone is individual. Maybe it. Never ends. I don't really know yet. But I think just kind of staying the course, you have to just keep going, even when it feels really hard. And there's times where I have felt like, you know what? Forget it. I'm just never gonna figure this out. But having that negative thought never helped. Never helped me ever in the past and I know it's not gonna help me in the future. So turning those thoughts and saying to myself, I know I'm gonna figure this out. I know I can do this. I think that's what, that's where my motivation comes from cuz you know, motivation's bleeding. You just have to stay the course. You're not always gonna feel motivated to do it. I love. Okay. That that is such a great thing. So just keep going. It doesn't necessarily need to be easy. I mean, I feel like, and this is what we tell people, and this is what you're saying too, it's like I feel like it gets easier, but it's not like you're not ever gonna have pain points because that would be us denying a human experience and that's not what we're here to do. Right. So, but the just. That you keep going. And I also think that things always change in our life. And so to think that we would have one way and it's figured out for life is frankly insanity. And so if we can let go of that, that there's this like destination where it's all perfect and I have it all figured out, then we can kind of ebb and flow with things more. So I, I love that you shared that. I guess the last question I would have for you, What would you say to a woman that maybe she wants to get started, but she's so sick of having done the hamster wheel thing where she kind of knows every single thing doesn't work out. So what would you tell her, either as a starting place or maybe recommendation to go get help, or what would you offer to her? She's just feeling desperate. I would say Do do something that feels easy to you in the moment. So whether that, Planning your food for the day or making one meal that is really supportive, or even just drinking your water or going for a walk. Just do one thing that feels easy, that is gonna support. Support you. Yeah, this, these have been such great insights that you've shared with us and just thank you for walking us through this. I think what people are gonna get to see where you were before, during, right now, and then how it's evolving, right? Like I would love in a year from now, you come back and you share with us like, this is what the last year has shown me, right? Because it's just not, not an end destination. So thank you so much for coming on and just sharing all this wealth with. Thank you for having me. Yeah, thank you so much. Really appreciate it.