Faith and Family: Josh Poteet's Guide to Discipleship

Most parents feel overwhelmed trying to raise discipled kids in a culture drifting away from biblical truth. But what if the secret isn’t more effort, but clarity on the destination?

In this episode, Josh Boteet, lead pastor, author, and father, reveals how intentionality transforms the chaos of parenting into a purposeful journey of discipleship. From the wild twists of his own past to practical daily actions, he shares how ordinary moments—whether playing I Spy, praying at mealtime, or navigating culture’s default—can become powerful opportunities to point children toward loving God, loving others, and enjoying family.

You'll discover:
- The simplest way to turn ordinary routines into spiritual conversations
- How to define a clear, achievable destination for your home—without needing a seminary degree
- The truth about cultural drift and why intentional parents push back against the current
- Practical tools like biblical anchor statements and questions to embed faith naturally into everyday life
- Why asking for forgiveness and modeling vulnerability are transformative acts of leadership

This episode emphasizes that parenting isn’t about perfection—it's about progress, authenticity, and showing your kids a real relationship with Jesus. Whether you’re feeling ill-equipped, overwhelmed, or stuck in the cycle of routine, Josh offers encouragement: it’s never too late, and you’re the primary disciple-maker your children need.

Perfect for Christian parents seeking to align everyday moments with eternal purpose, this conversation will inspire you to lead confidently, practice grace openly, and cultivate a household rooted in Christ's love.

Are you ready to move against the cultural current and create a legacy of faith? Tune in and discover how your ordinary day can become an extraordinary spiritual journey for your family.

Transcript

Why Parenting Against The Current

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Hello everyone, thank you again for joining us in another episode of the Your Tour show. This episode is sponsored by the Odati Audio Group, which inspires and not least to discusses, testimonies, and teachings, equipping listeners for meaningful conversations. On today's episode, we have discussed Boutique, who is the lead pastor of 180 Life Search in West Half, Connecticut. He previously served as the net-gang pastor at Sky Life search, where he led and developed the leaders of the kids, students, and young adult ministries. He holds a master's in theology and has been a part of the relational discipleship network for 10 years. Leading discipleship trainings, both in the US and internationally, regularly teaches on equipping parents, empowering disciples, training leaders, and helping families embrace their role as primary disciple makers. His passion for family discipleship is shaped by his personal experiences as a father, and as years is working alongside parents as they raise up tiny disciples. He and his wife, Jenny, live in Connecticut with their two children, Lillia and Eva. Gosh, thank you so much for coming on the show today.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Hey Dorsey, thanks for having me, man. I'm excited to get to dive into it.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Absolutely. So I what inspired you? So you you you do a a discipleship group called Parenting. What and how did you come up with that name?

Turning Theology Into Tools

SPEAKER_01 2:30

Yeah, I I didn't have the name until we were halfway through writing the book, but really it was just this tension born of like parents, when when you're when your kids are born, what it feels like is it feels like you're drowning. And you're just trying to, you're just trying to tread water, try to try to survive. The tension though is if you're treading water in a current, you're being taken by it. And there is a current in this world. And so really just trying to set up parents to be one, aware of the current, and two, aware that there's an intentional better option that we should be moving towards. And that was born out of me wrestling through that personally, and then as a pastor, and then really just realizing that, man, this is a this is a bigger issue that we need to figure out because we as parents were meant to be the primary disciplers of our kids.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Can you tell us a little bit more about the book and what made you what made you start parenting against the parent?

Stories, Coauthor, And Diverse Families

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Yeah, so the book is really aimed at young families who are trying to figure out intentional tools and resources to be able to disciple their kids strategically. I think that's one of the challenges in church world is we can say, Dorsey, we can say these really like theological things, and it sounds great, but it stays in the clouds and it doesn't meet the people on the ground. And so the the book was kind of built out of, man, I've I've heard the things, I've heard disciple your kids. I've heard like we need to shepherd their hearts, but what does it actually mean? Yeah, what's it what's it look like? Like, how do I actually make this happen? So the book really goes through different practical tools, like creating a destination that you're aiming at, um, how to look for the fingerprints of God in the day-to-day, how to be vulnerable, how to build biblical community, like the the key essentials, I would say, for a parent to be able to lead um not just their kids, but to lead themselves. Uh, because you can only lead somebody to where you are. So that's really what the book is aimed after. And again, built largely off of a lot of my mistakes and a lot of wisdom from other parents who are further along than I am.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

So you so you wrote the book based on your own experiences and what you and what you were dealing with in your own life and with your own kids, is that what I'm getting at or what I'm hearing?

The Home Discipleship Gap

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Yeah, kind, kind of. So that's that's part of it. I'm a storyteller by nature. Like that's how God built me, which means that I like to use stories to convey messages. So a lot of it is like, hey, man, this is where I messed up, or this is where there was a kingdom win in my home. But there was also just another component where I am I'm one parent. My co-author is the best dad that I've ever met. And so he's got four kiddos of his own. Uh, and so shared some of his experiences. And then on top of that, we partnered with other parents within our disciple-making churches because one, they're they're aimed at discipling others, and two, how does that translate into the home? And asking them because there's different dynamics that I can't personally speak to. So the single mom. I I could come up with a couple principles, but that's like I'm not in that, or like leading a blended family. There's all kinds of different dynamics. So we we sought counsel from other parents in those different situations and dynamics who were thriving at discipling their kids because we wanted to reach as many parents as we could and to empower them on this mission.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

With what you've been through in writing a book and your experiences with it, have you found it? Have you found that it's difficult for other parents to disciple their kids?

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Yeah, I think that was one of the tension points of the book was parent after parent after parent was coming up to me saying, Josh, we've got adults in the church discipling other adults. Like we're crushing it, but it's not translating into our homes. And so what do we do? There's this big tension. I I think for most parents, it's I've never I wasn't discipled as a kid. And Dorsey, I don't know if you were, I wasn't. And so then it's the I need to lead my kids to a place that I was never led to myself, which is hard and it's scary. And the thing that I keep going back to in my conviction was there's a difference between not knowing and not going. Just because I didn't get the full picture when I was a kid doesn't mean that I'm not still called to to lead my family there, which means that we need to figure it out. But for most, maybe not most, but for many parents, that question mark, the uncertainty, the doubt, the feeling disqualified, looking back at their past and saying, Man, like I'm not good enough, or I don't have a seminary degree or whatever, because you don't need any of that. But we say that stuff and then it leads us to not act, which is part of the problem, is we don't feel qualified and we forget that God is the one who qualifies us.

Josh’s Journey To Faith And Ministry

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Absolutely. It's like that old King Dog, you know, he he qualifies to, he doesn't call it qualified, he qualified to call.

unknown 7:14

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

Yeah, that's exactly it.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Can you tell us a little bit more? I know I read your bio, but tell us a little bit more about yourself and you know what you do and and your background.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Yeah. Yeah. So I grew up in a house that we didn't we didn't do the whole Jesus thing. We did a little bit, but it was more like visiting. We were Jesus adjacent, is what I would call it. Like we were nearby, but not quite there. And so I believed that my value came from everything that I did. So it was the touchdowns, the girlfriends, the GPA, the whatever, any achievement that I could unlock. I thought that's what my value came from. And I applied that same mindset on God. Now, like I always believed in God. Uh because I just because I can't believe, like you can't convince me that this happened on accident. Uh, but who is God? That was the question. And how did he view me? Well, I thought he didn't view me very well because I didn't have anything to offer him, which led me to like really a downward spiral, led to going full-on prodigal son in my college years, got swept up in alcoholism. And and what that did for me was it led me to a place of standing in the aftermath of the me problem, the aftermath of me going my own way and realizing that I couldn't be the solution to my own problem. And so I started seeking God and trying to figure out, like, hey, what does this look like? And eventually gave my life to Jesus after I looked at the evidence and I was like, this is just overwhelmingly clear. Gave my life to Jesus, and when I did, started getting discipled by other men. And as they were walking beside me, I started walking beside other men and then eventually got married. We had our first, we had our daughter Lilla, and when she was born, it just ripped me in half in a way that like like the best and the hardest way, because I was like, man, there's like nothing I wouldn't do for this girl. And at the same time, I was like, but I have to figure out how to how to shepherd her heart. And so I started going to other parents who had young adults that loved Jesus. And I went to their parents and I said, Hey, what did you do? Like how did you how did you lead your kids to the type of garden living that we're meant to have, a relationship with Jesus? And piece by piece, bit by bit, I started to figure it out. I started to make huge mistakes and then learning from those mistakes and growing. And and so it really started this shifting in me simultaneously becoming a pastor, which was wild. That was so like not my plan at all. I did not want to do this. People would bring it up, and I was like, no, that's great. Like I've already got a plan. I got I got this whole like I'm gonna be a firefighter, that's what I'm doing. Like I was training, I was working in EMT as an EMT, like I loved it. And then God just like, like He does for me. He's just like, man, that's that's that's cute, but that's that's not where I'm calling you. So begrudgingly, I I entered into the ministry, and honestly, God has been incredibly gracious in that. But throughout that heartbeat is how do I equip people to make disciples? And the primary place that we're meant to make disciples is our home. Like we see that over and over again in scripture, and that's also the weakest space that we have for it. But if we can do that, kingdom ground can really be taken.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Why do you think it's so difficult for parents to disciple their kids? Is it that they don't have, you know, is it that they're not disciples themselves? Is it that they don't know how to disciple? Are they afraid of that word disciple, you know, discipleship?

Defining Discipleship And Setting Destinations

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Yeah. Well, yeah, I think part of it is common language is is challenging, right? So when I say discipleship, one of the things we spell out in the book, we get our definition of a disciple from Matthew 4.19, uh, someone who has following Jesus, being changed by Jesus, committed to the mission of Jesus. The problem is if you go to any church and you say, Do you believe in discipleship? If they are a real church, they probably say yes, right? Like there, there's no discrepancy there. But then if you ask, so what does that look like? Sometimes usually you'll get a very vague answer that's unclear. Uh, you might get multiple answers from different people. There's not clarity there. And I think that's one of the issues is we might all agree, yes, we're called the disciple our kids, but what what does that actually mean is a different story. Uh and so I would say that's the big piece of it. That the aim of discipleship is meant to be maturity in Christ. That's what scripture points to, with the intent of reproducing that in others. Like that's what discipleship is aimed at. And what we need as parents, and really just even as just Christ followers, is we need a clearly defined destination that we're moving towards. Because if we don't, what happens is we're just being swept away by the current. And the current could be any number of things. It could be your level of exhaustion, it could be the culture that you live in, it could be just that your kids are driving you crazy and you're not being very patient in that moment. But we're meant to push back against the current towards a destination. Uh and so I'll say the destination that Jenny and I have defined for our home through a lot of conversation and a lot of prayer is threefold. It's we want our kids to love God, love others, and enjoy us. That's it. It's that simple. But which means that everything we do and everything that we choose not to do is pushed through that filter. Like, do we have dinner together as a family every night? Well, does it help us move to the destination? And yes, do we attend church every Sunday? And you're like, well, Josh, you're a pastor, it doesn't matter. Like we were doing this. This was a commitment before that. Yes, we're gonna do that because it points to the destination. Am I a soccer coach? I've never played soccer in my life. Yes, I'm a soccer coach because that goes to the destination. And then there's the other piece of we limit the extracurriculars that our kids can't can do. Like the rule is you can only do one at a time. Uh, and the reason isn't that we don't want our kids to do fun things, it's that we don't want to busy Jesus out of our schedule because we're moving towards a destination, which means that we're gonna say no to some things, and we're gonna say no with intentionality, not to squander their hopes or dreams or their excitement, but to say, hey, there's something better than playing soccer every day of the week. And his name is Jesus, and let's move towards him.

Pushing Back On Culture’s Drift

SPEAKER_00 13:37

How do you define the cultural grift? And why do you see it as a problematic for family today?

I Spy: Seeing God In The Everyday

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Yeah, I would say it's a problem pretty much always. The point being there's a design and then there is a default, right? And so the design is how God created the world. Like the world was created good, like piece after piece after piece. He said, It is good, and then he creates man, and it is very good. And then there's the problem, right? He realizes man is alone, and he says, Well, it is not good for man to be alone, and so he creates Eve, and it's just this beautiful scene of the design, and then sin comes in, and the design of the world and the default of the world are broken into. Uh and now the default is moving away from God, it's moving away from intentionality, and it's moving away from what we were designed to be. And so that's that's the that's the drift of culture, that's the current. It's moving to the default. I'll give you an example. I get home from work, and my default, if I'm not being intentional, is I want to go get swallowed up by my couch. Like I just want to like sit in that thing, sink in, and never move for the rest of the night. My family's not meant to get my leftovers. I'm not just a provider. I'm actually meant to be a leader, a disciple maker, a partner, which means that as badly as the current draws me into the couch, I need to make tired weight and give an extra piggyback ride and have the intentional conversation for the 15th time with my seven-year-old, because the current was never meant to dictate how disciples move. And the current is really not what we're moving towards, that we're moving against it because eventually there's gonna be a garden city that we get to be a part of where, like, man, like we get new bodies, and these these joints aren't gonna hurt anymore in the way that they do, and we're gonna get celebrate and rejoice in perfect relationship with the king of the universe, and finally the default and the design will be back where they were meant to be. But it's not so right now.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Yeah, we mentioned about discipleship, and you talk about you describe parenting as a spiritual journey. What does taking back discipleship in the home look like for you in the day-to-day life?

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Yeah, yeah, I think there's a couple key pieces day-to-day that we do. One of them that we we talk about in the book is something called playing I spy. Uh, we get it from Deuteronomy 6, where Moses is talking about when they go across the Jordan and there's there's this monument made of 12 stones. Like when you walk by it and your kids ask, hey, what is that? Tell them when you're lying down, when you're traveling, what the Lord has done. And so for us, we play a game called I Spy, where we're constantly looking for the fingerprints of God in the everyday. And so sometimes it's just celebrating that God, that God painted a sunset for my daughter to see and that it's beautiful and it's good. Uh, and there's other times where it leans in even further than that. There was, I was driving my daughter to school one day, and uh, and we were talking about my favorite football team, the Miami Dolphins, who are a disappointment to fans everywhere. I I hate them, I hate them right now, but anyway, not the point. So we're talking, and she's a Dolphins fan too, because she's my daughter and she loves me, so she just kind of follows my lead. And they had cheated. And so because they got caught cheating, we lost some draft picks. And so I was talking to her and she was like, Why did they cheat? And I was like, Well, they wanted to do or they wanted to win more than they wanted to do the right thing. And she goes, I don't understand, like, why would they do that? And in that moment, we could have kept talking about football, but I chose to talk about sin and how there's a drift for all of us, and how like every single one of us at times will want to do the wrong thing, even though we know it's not right, and even know that there's a better God-honoring option. But we were playing I spy and engaging in a conversation that was bigger than a football team that always lets down my hopes and dreams. Uh, an easy way for parents to do this, because you might feel ill-equipped at first. I'd say, parents, good way to start is man, at dinner, every night. We do this every night when we've got guests over, it doesn't matter. They know Jesus, they don't know Jesus, we don't care. Like you're playing I spy with us if you're in our house, and we're glad you're you're there to do it. So we just ask the question, we say, Where did you see Jesus today? And we go around the table, and our daughter answers, and then she picks who's next. And eventually we even answer for the dogs. We don't answer for the cat because the cat come on, it's a cat. But we have fun with it. Uh, we play I spy together, and I think that's a big piece for families is identifying the divine in the everyday. And if we can start doing that, and really not just doing that, but teaching our kids to do that. That's a key part of discipleship.

Simple Anchors For Kids’ Fears And Anger

SPEAKER_00 18:39

With that game, when when I think of that, when I think of what you just said with team gigas, you know, every day or you know, in the things of every day, you know, sometimes it's, you know, I maybe I'm making making it too spherical or too, you know, spherical, but what is it one example that you can give me where it's very simple and be and I could be, and my listeners could be like, okay, I understand what he's saying in that example.

Don’t Parent Alone: Build Community

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Yeah, the identifying like Jesus in the everyday. Yeah. Yeah, I would say an easy example is when my daughter has a nightmare and she comes upstairs. Well, one, she runs to her dad, which is exactly what we're meant to do with with Jesus. And so she she runs upstairs. Uh, she has a conversation. Honestly, she she actually runs to mom for that because dad's a hard sleeper, and she goes to her, and and what do they do? They they pray. Uh, and then we have in our home anchor statements, statements that like scripture is sometimes a little bit too hard for a young mind to memorize, at least early on. And so we use biblical anchor statements to to root our kids in scripture. And so one of them is actually verbatim scripture, which is love casts out all fear. Perfect love casts out fear. And so when our daughter runs upstairs, they they pray together and they say, Love casts out all fear. What does that mean? And she talks about well, I need to remember in my fear that my my heavenly father has my back, that I'm I'm with him, and if I'm with my dad, I've got nothing to be afraid of. Kids get that, and so using opportunities like that, fear is a big one. Like my daughter, fear like my son, not that way. Like he like he's the kind of kid where he's like, I'll find out if that branch can hold me when I climb to the top of the tree. Like, we're actively budgeting for ER bills for my son. And so he's different, like it's it's less the fear stuff, and it's more hey, when you try to lash out, he's he's two and a half, and when you try to hit because you didn't get your way, it's it's getting him to slow down and say, hey, it's okay to be mad. This is another anchor statement. It's okay to be mad, it's not okay to be mean. And that again comes from scripture. And so we we say that and he repeats it. He can't say that one on his own just yet, but he repeats it, and then he takes some deep breaths and we pray. Like it's all like every instance that we have of teaching, coaching, and directing our kids is an opportunity to look for the fingerprints of God and what God says is good and true and beautiful for our families.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

What are some of the challenges, common challenges Christian parents face today, and how can they overcome them?

Teaching Prayer: Rhythm And Relationship

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Yeah. I'd say one of the big challenges is I would say parenting alone isn't just hard, it's bad. Like we weren't meant to parent in isolation. And that is that's really common these days. And when I say parent in isolation, most people have friends, but we are with technology, we are the most connected and disconnected generation that's ever existed. In the sense that I can't like we're we're having a conversation right now, and you're in Pennsylvania. I'm in Connecticut. Like that's we're not in the same place, and yet somehow we're on the same screen. And yet, most of us, if you look at some of the statistics, very few people have a close friend that they actually confide in. Like very few people actually have people in their lives that fully know them. Like if intimacy is being fully known, fully accepted, without fear of rejection, that's what the garden was meant to look like. Like we don't have that anymore. At least most people don't don't. And the the trouble with that is, uh, and this is a phrase that I kind of always go back to, is it it takes a village to raise a parent. Like it's not just about the kids. Like it's parents, in order for me to be the godly parent that. Godly Father, that I am created to be, I need other dads around me, some who are further ahead, some who are there with me, just saying, I feel like I'm drowning, and I'm like, I'm drowning too. We'll just drown together, right? And then you need people behind you who are expecting or trying to figure it out that you can say, Hey, I've been there too. It's hard, but man, keep coming. Like we can help you on the way. If I've got community, like genuine, authentic community with other men and my wife having other women that are pouring into me, and I'm pouring into others. That's a key, like discipleship is natural that way. Like if I've got that, it's overflowing. But that takes intentionality. That's not like there's a there's a comedian, I forget who it is, but he said something along the lines of like he went golfing with his buddy uh for like eight hours and he came back home and his wife said, Hey, how how is his marriage? And the guy was like, I have no idea. Like, like we were just golfing, we didn't talk about anything. And it's saying, like, hey, it's more than just a round of golf, it's intentional conversation. It's saying, Hey, I I messed up. Like, I raised my voice yesterday, and I was completely in the wrong, and I looked like a fool. And I, man, I just gotta be honest, like, I'm I'm struggling. Like, that's the kind of relationship we need. That's the bedrock of uh that we see throughout scriptures in the book of Acts. They're not concealing their weaknesses, they're like, man, like, man, I just got hit by some stones. All right, let's pick you up and let's keep on moving. That's what we need. Uh, and that's that's found in community.

SPEAKER_00 24:09

Yeah, I think the next question can be both for the for the kids and also for adults as well. But how do we teach children to play in a way that's personal and that's just routine? To to pray in a way that's personal, yeah, and that and that routine.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

Yeah, that's that's hard because it really is gonna be defined by the age. So I'll give you an example. My son Ezra, two and a half, he can speak, but not always super well. And so at dinner, when he is ready to eat, homie, like because we always wait, we like we hold hands and we pray, and homie will just start yapping, and not words coming out. He's just going, and then he goes, Jesus, amen. And and we celebrate that. Like we want we want him to be in a rhythm where consistency at a young age is actually a a bigger priority, not because relationship doesn't matter and that it being personal doesn't matter. It's just that doesn't click at that age in the way that with my daughter, like she's pressing in and we're bringing up the things that she struggles with. I I mentioned fear. That's something that we pray about and something that we need to model as parents. I think a lot of parents are very insecure. I I don't even think it's parents, I think it's it's Christians. We're insecure to pray out loud because we're afraid people might judge us. And here's here's the thing: who are you praying for? Like if I'm praying to have like I have I've done this and it's awful and it's ugly, and God has worked is working this out of me. But I Dorsey, have you ever prayed like publicly and just been like, I nailed that? Like that was I crushed that prayer. I've done that, I've done it, and it's ugly because the instant that I said that in my mind I just got convicted of like, dude, who are you praying for? Like that was probably your worst prayer of all time because there's no God honoring in that, right? When we've got a culture, a current that says, hey, if you pray, it better be really good. Like you better have the right words, and it better have that like like spin on a phrase that sounds really catchy, and you need people to say, mm-hmm, as you go, right? Like you need the sounds, and and that's not it. And if we can reroute what prayer actually is in our own hearts, if I can model for my daughter and my son my relationship with Jesus, where I say, Jesus, thank you, because I'm just a guy. Like I'm just a guy, and I mess up all the time, and you step down into my mess to redeem me. Thank you, Lord. Like if we can be vulnerable like that, man, it's not just it's not just a routine anymore. Like He is a personal God who met us in the filth, took on the wrath of God on our behalf that we didn't have to pay our debt. That's beautiful.

Modeling Repentance And Forgiveness

SPEAKER_00 27:00

Yeah, I'm probably one of those, you know, who's afraid to say out loud, you know, just because I'm afraid of what am I gonna say? You know, will people understand me because I have a speech impediment? You know, will I do what it is that you know God wants me to say? All that. And I remember this one time I went to a church to speak and shared my story, and I was, you know, after the series, a young child, you know, came up to me. He's like, hey, I want to I want to pray for you. And I was like, okay. And after that prayer that he played on me, I'm like, who is this kid that he's able to play on me that powerfully? And you know, I was like, I was just amazed of what, you know, what God was able to do through this child.

SPEAKER_01 27:46

Yeah, I love like so that's that's the target, man. Like that as a parent, if that were my kid, like hearing that story would just break me. Like, that's such a cool win. And even like what you were describing of like the the other side, right? There's there's me and there's you where maybe you're a little more timid in in prayer. And I just say, like, it's the same, it's the same lie, I think, that we can battle of it's about me. And God is so stinking good. One, that he gives us grace for that, gives me grace for that, and two, that we have the opportunity to to have a relationship with him and model that for our kids. That's I don't ever want there to be a point where I'm not in awe of that. That's just so cool. That's like you know how kids will wave at airplanes, like the world is just like everything is new, everything is awesome. Like my daughter get like my son when he sees a garbage truck, like Dorsey, when he sees a garbage truck, it's possibly the best thing to happen in this kid's life.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

How do we raise children who know and love gigos in a world that doesn't?

SPEAKER_01 28:53

Yeah. I'd say that the key there is is really you can't lead somebody to where you're not. And so for me, I want to have an authentic walk with Jesus that my kids are invited into. There's a a phrase that I always go back to of just like take them with you. Like wherever I go, I want to bring my kids along because I'm modeling for them what it is to be a disciple of Jesus, whether it's at the football game, or if it's fixing the bicycle tire, which was my evening yesterday, or if it's handling conflict. Like I want them to see what a godly man does in the hard, knowing that I'm gonna mess it up. So then when I mess it up, I want them to see how I handle it and how I'm humble and how I seek forgiveness and I I press in. One of the key things that we can do as families, as parents, is ask for forgiveness from our kids, which is very against the current because we know leaders should never ask for forgiveness because that undermines your authority. False. Like that's a lie from the enemy, uh, but it's believable. And I want my daughter and I want my son to hear, will you forgive me from me more than they hear from anybody else? And that's because I'm with them more than most people, meaning I'm gonna mess up around them more than most people. And I want that to be common language where I say, Hey, will you forgive me? If you were to ask my daughter right now, hey, does your dad make mistakes? She would smile and say, Yep, and then be happy to tell you the last three times I've asked for forgiveness. Because we're not trying to model perfection. Like that's the law. That is not why Jesus came to die on the cross. It's that grace and mercy wins out for those that place their faith in Jesus. And so that's what we want to point our kids to, and that's what I want to model in our home.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

Yeah. You get rid of the closure. One of the last questions I have is parents often struggle with conversation started around faith. Can you get a few questions or prompts to help open that dialogue?

Prepare For Faith Conversations Early

SPEAKER_01 31:00

There's a culture today of I will prepare when the opportunity arises. And so we don't prepare in advance, and because we don't prepare in advance, when the opportunity arises, we're unprepared. So your kid starts asking about Jesus and you stumble and you're like, man, I don't I don't know what to do. And so part of it is we need to start getting in the reps now. Like if you have a zero to two year old, really zero to three, like I recommend share the gospel with your kid through one of their random toys. Pick a different toy every night, share the gospel with your kid every night. And guess what? You're gonna sound like a doofus at first. Like it's it's not gonna come out good, it's not gonna be perfect. You're gonna be like, what did I just say? That's okay. They will not remember. That's God's grace. They have no idea what's going on. But as you get in the reps, when the time comes, I'll tell you, my my daughter, we had been talking about Jesus for a very long time, and it was a recent Christmas where we were driving in the car, and she was asking about Jesus and wanting, she's like, I want to place my faith in him right now. And so so I'm like, Well, we're gonna do our due diligence here. What do you think that means? And like, what? And literally, as I'm driving, I'm praying, and I just felt like God was like, You need to pull over the car. And I pull over the car, and I got in the back seat. I'll never forget. I was like, Can I go in the back seat with you? And she was like, Yeah, it looks different back here. I'm like, okay. So I get in the backseat, and she gave her life to Jesus. And man, part of like like God gets all the glory, but but I had responsibility in being prepared for that conversation. The opportunity arose and I had prepared. And that's what parents need to do is we need to prepare. So that's that's part of it is start flexing those muscles, not just on your kids, but engage in godly conversations with the person discipling you. Because if you're doing that, it's gonna start becoming more and more normal because your default's gonna start shifting back to the design. And so, some questions that you can ask. The question that I always like to ask is, How's your walk? Which is slang. It's like, how's your how's your walk with Jesus? Right? Like, how are you in your relationship with Jesus? Your kids might not know how to answer that at first and just say, Well, hey, that's okay. Why don't you ask me? Ask me how my walk is, and now you're modeling. Like, hey, you know what? I was really struggling today. I had a lot of fear come in, or whatever it is. You can share vulnerably about your walk with Jesus. Another thing that I would recommend is getting into the word regularly. So, hey, where are you where are you reading? So I know that my daughter right now, we are going through acts, and that's what we're reading together. Every Friday we do a quiet time at a bakery while I get coffee. She gets a she gets a muffin, and we do a quiet time together, and we look forward to it because it's fun and it's a dialogue. Hey, what do you think that means? Like, why did Jesus do that and not this other thing? Like asking just questions about the story. We do this with children's books all the time. Like most parents do this stuff. We just get nervous around faith. Like, let that lie die. Like your walk is important, their walk is important. Let it be a part of your conversation. Here's here's the last thing I'll say on that, because I don't want to hijack all the time. We have this lie that comes in of like, we'll ask about faith, and someone might respond. This was a response that I got in my family often. I'd say, Hey, what do you think about Jesus? And they would say, That's incredibly personal. And here's what I would say. Yes, it's incredibly personal, but it was never meant to be private. And if we can set up a culture in our home where we talk about the personal and we ask about the personal and we prove ourselves trustworthy with the personal, I think you'll be shocked at the things that your kids are willing to bring to you and the counsel that they're willing to receive from you.

Make Faith Talk Personal Not Private

SPEAKER_00 34:47

I always like to ask my guests as we get right to the end, what's a word of encouragement and a word of encouragement that you would give to my listeners, especially the parents that might be listening to, you know, to give them an encouragement to type with their kids, especially if they're not.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

Yeah, I'm I'm glad you asked that because that's I I don't want people to leave and be like, man, there's so many things. What do I do? Where do I start? Here's what I would say. Uh, because it can be very easy to hear a conversation about discipling your kids and be like, man, I failed. I have botched it. My kid is a teenager and this is it, or or whatever. Here's what I would say the best time to disciple your kids was yesterday. The second best time is right now. Like you are not too late. You are the disciple maker that God has created primarily for your kids. You have the most influence that you ever will when they are still in your home. So I would say, don't let the enemy win out. Like, don't let the lies sneak in. You can do it right now. You can make the shift, and you are the person that God placed here on this earth to do it with your kids. So if you ever are like, man, I don't feel qualified, just know that like Christ came to qualify you. And he goes beside you and before you and behind you, which means that you're not doing it alone.

Final Encouragement And Listener CTA

SPEAKER_00 36:10

Amen. Thank you so much for coming on the show today. We greatly appreciate having you. Yeah, thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Absolutely. Well, guys and girls, thank you so much for coming on for listening. Please go and like and follow Auderi Audio Group on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. And along with the Dorsey Lux Show, please go and share your view. You can even reach out to Auduri Audio Group info at Auduriaudio.org. Please go check out my website at www.dorseluxhow.com. And until next time, God bless. Bye bye.