Alchemising Education - An Insider's Perspective; Pt 1

It's all very well to grab your beloved and your bestie, set up a couple of mics and start a podcast about farking the shoulds and critiquing the education system from the parents/outsiders perspective BUT how much of your critiquing is influenced and impacted by a confirmation bias that grows ever stronger with each conversation?  

Is the current school "product" really that dire?  

Are kids needs actually systematically unmet, in favour of efficiencies and misaligned stakeholders?   

How challenged are todays teachers in their desire to cater for their charges whilst balancing the duties of the position? 

Is it true that we parents play a role and influence the whole shootin' match?  

Is the current mainstream education really that shoddy and wanting?  

Meet lovely luscious Lauren, both a current practising teacher and parent, who brings us an insiders perspective of the present school environment.  

QuantiMama Jodi and QuantiMama Kerri get real and raw with Luscious Lauren about what's happening on the ground in a variety of school environments, the role (and impact) of parents in this space, the agility and adaptability of kids to adjust to new or changing places, the contrast of the traditional school space versus the one-on-one student/educators of private tutoring,  and the holistic approach to our kids learning, with consideration to rhythm, diet, emfs, labels, expectation and more. 

Join us to examine,  reimagine and alchemise education because fark knows, the kids are ripe and ready for change.

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Transcript

0:08

and how extreme and polarizing people are. It's just mind-blowing. So typically I'm quite a soft-natured person, but I am quite direct with what I'll say to parents. But I'll do it in a loving way to try and help them acknowledge that, hey, is this you or is this actually the child? It's not my job to be a psychologist, but obviously parents are met with this. I mean, you know, you can average five to six emails a night. Some parents, teachers can. Hello Quantifolks and welcome to another episode of Fark The Shoulds Little Sister podcast, Alchemising Education. She is, she is. Quantum Mama now because she got nude a couple of episodes ago. And we are very excited today because we are, well we're having another cherry popping, breaking of the hymen moment, aren't we? Because we're having our first ever guest on AE, because I love an acronym. So Alchemising Education has its first guest. This woman, I mean, I think we could best describe her as a bit like Rob the dentist, where you don't see her face. She's going to be Lauren, the teacher, whose face you don't get to see either. Welcome, beautiful Lauren. We're going to call her Luscious Lauren, because that is the right name for her. She's sometimes lovely, but mostly luscious. Welcome, Lauren. Thank you, Jodi. That was just so lovely. What an incredible introduction for my first podcast ever. Well now everyone gets to actually paint their own picture of luscious Lauren so they can just listen to your dulcet tone. So today, good old Lauren is jumping in the deep end with us and we are going to talk about an insider's perspective because Lauren actually is one of those real teachers rather than the armchair critics that Kez and I end up being often. We're really conscious about not bagging out school but calling it for what it is and raising the questions for what they are But Lauren is actually working the system and she is in a really unique perspective because she has actually gone through a bunch of schools and has such a broad appreciation for what's happening and the nuances in different schools. So, we're going to dive in deep with that. Kezza, No, I just think that this is such a beautiful opportunity and thank Lauren for being here because, you know, we obviously have had the parents' perspective for quite a while and sort of focusing on the children's needs from our perspective, but what we really love because we value the role that teachers have, whether it be formal, informal, But there's so much going on for the teachers, like there's a lot that they have to consider. So that's what we'd really love to hear from Yeah, and it's been like a pressure cooker, particularly the last few years. 2019, I think I sort of started out on my journey as far as exploring quite a few different schools. I think I've been exposed to maybe 15 different schools. since 2019. Before then, I was mainly just in, you know, one or two schools. No, let's say three schools. Sorry, I'm jumping around. I'm so new to this. But I think from 2019, I really have been in spaces that have allowed my wisdom to kind of burst open so much. I don't know what else to say. Where can I go from there? Help me with this. Well, I think one of the things I want to say because this will help place you for our beautiful listenership out there is that one thing that we really resonate with you is that you are a heart-led teacher. You're very conscious about emotions-led learning, children being able to learn to self-regulate, so those all-important skills that I think are totally missing from the traditional enslavement system of the education system, I want to know What the FARK is going on in schools right now, like from a snapshot point of view, what's your assessment? Because obviously teachers we know are overworked and that's almost like something that you hear every time they're due to get a pay rise, right? So it gets caught up in this kind of political hyperbole all the time. But what does it really mean? What's happening for teachers in schools right now? I just feel like there's just so much speed that there's no opportunity for teachers to really think for themselves. And so it's like a fast train. And so everyone's lost that heart-centred space. And I think, you know, I've always believed just within my heart that we're all here on a mission, our souls here on a mission to do something pretty incredible in this world. And we need to be able to tap into that heart-centred space to be able to actually connect with others and help children and help ourselves be the best teachers we can be and teachers just don't have that opportunity at the moment. It's just, there's just the rat race is real and it's reflecting society and it's affecting our children. Our children really need to be able to not be stressed because when you're stressed you come out of your body and you're not able to hear yourself and what your passions actually are and all the things. And I know that a lot of schools are trying in different ways. There's no doubt that there's a lot of good things happening out there, but there's a lot of schools just, you know, paddling along but not really having any direction of where they're going. They're just being led by something outside of the school. Yeah, So what sort of things is it that's actually making it hard for them in the system to actually put the kids' needs at Yeah, so there's just a lot of testing going on. There's a lot of standardised expectations for teachers. You know, you can keep progressing up the ladder as far as money goes and everything. And so there's a lot of pressure to achieve. And you've got that from the system, but then you've also got a lot of parents that are expecting a lot for their individual children. And so teachers are pulled from all angles. And then also we've got the variety of children we're being met with today. Individuality in the classroom is next level, much more than say 2006 was when I first went in to teaching. And it's just a completely different space now. You've got every child's individual to a whole other level now. Which is beautiful because it means that we're actually dealing, we're needing to meet the needs of all the children. But for one teacher to meet the variety of individuals in a classroom is a really, really massive task. And schools are definitely finding their ways with aids and, you know, rotating around groups and, you know, just the continuity of improving their skills. But in doing so, there's just a lot of controls outside coming in that don't allow Yeah, to really connect in, I don't feel, with the individual child. I notice whenever I do tutoring, I think that's my happiest moment because you can actually feel the child and you can reach them in that moment the best that you can. Yeah, but as a whole class, a Well, I mean, I think what you're picking up on, which is what I find interesting, and again, I'm not interested in recruiting people into anything, but we are interested in Having meaningful conversations to see if we can fix this shit because at the Yeah. So something that you picked up there that was really interesting was how can a teacher be everything to everyone in the class like I struggled to be. like everyone to my four kids. Okay, so that's only four. What's the standard size of a classroom now? It's between 20 and 30, depending on the school. You have your occasional schools that will have less, but I think the majority are sitting between, yeah, between 18 children and 30. So it's few and far between, you'd probably have less than 20. So we'd say definitely we're looking at that many. So that's a lot of humans. And it's really funny because this morning Kerri and I were having a conversation with another mum whilst we were doing our fruit and veg shopping and she was talking about neurodiverse, which is such a catchphrase now. And we were saying, you know, it still sounds like you're othering children. And it's almost like it needs a rebranding exercise. Because I would argue that probably we're all neurodiverse I mean, the school I was in last year had a good 14 out of 30 children that were diagnosed in that space or something close to it. Yeah. So it's slowly just becoming not just half the class, but more than half the class of children that you could you could question are in this space. Yeah. would get diagnosed if their parents were so inclined but don't, and they just regard their child as an individual. I mean, we've talked about before the fact that my youngest, in the way he swears, could definitely be a candidate for a Tourette's diagnosis, if nothing else. Certainly a possible future criminal. Who knows, right? This kid's got a personality on him. But I've resisted doing any labelling because I didn't know what I was going to do with the information. So I haven't done that. I didn't see the value. But I am really interested in like is it possible that with all these we'll call them neurodiverse kids but all these individuals is it possible that the universe is bringing forth a crap ton of kids that will get diagnosed as being neurodivergent for us to allow to allow the masses to break down the education system because it hasn't been fit for purpose for a long time? Well it's absolutely 100% and they're also helping parents to transform and so the whole of our society is transforming because of our children and the children are helping us to connect with our emotions, helping us to work through blockages we've And if you've got teachers in the system that aren't aware of this, then it can be really, really damaging for these children. And it also depends on what type of school you've got your child in as well. Because I think a lot of the private schools aren't, I shouldn't segregate and say certain, because there's always writing in every single school. But I feel like the different systems, the private and the public, and then alternative schools are really providing different responses to this whole thing. So I've had witness from a few friends where they've put a child in a private school and they want to diagnose them quickly. I know that it's happened also in little spaces within our family space. But then you put them in a completely different alternative system and then they're not needing to be diagnosed at all. So it makes me really ponder what environment does to a child's ability to connect and be the best version of themselves. Absolutely. And that's homeschooling as well. All these different options that we have these days. Even within homeschooling, you've got so many different choices. And I've witnessed... children responding completely differently depending on how their parents can hold the space for their children and what programs they're providing or whether they're not providing programs or whatever it is. And it's really fascinating. It's really fascinating to see how human beings respond to different environments. Yeah, absolutely. We've got to, I think, just find a way to keep reimagining because I think that Everyone's beaten down by the current system. Parents are so busy, we've got kids that are super busy, so you're basically just running around doing a 3D life the whole time. Swimming, dancing, karate, whatever. Well this is where stress gets involved way too much and if you're finding your family's tipping over to the point of a stress response, then you're doing no justice. You think that you're providing all these extra things, but actually it tightens up the system more, the kids are not sleeping as well, there's more fights. that means that they're not able to perform at their highest potential. And they're not learning. They're not learning, they're actually not learning anything. Yeah, absolutely. Just ticking off the days. So less is more, and I know it's said a lot, but it's just the truth, because it allows us to find, actually listen, listen from within. That's perfect, because in fact, what I want to ask you is in lovely, luscious Lauren's land, how would you do school? This is a really interesting one, because the jury's still out. And I think that it's meant to be still out. I think we're all meant to continue evolving to a point that we could never imagine right now where it's going to be in 10 years, 15 years. Because I think there's positives and negatives to everything I've seen. I don't think there's a perfect solution right now. But our children are here at this time, without a doubt, to experience this transition just the way it is. So we've got to trust. We've got to trust them in the journey that they're on, but also tune in at any moment and decide if another environment's actually better for that individual child and continue moving. I'm a great example of that. My children have been in more schools than I've ever, ever would have imagined. I mean, I'm all about stability, one school, all the things. and my children have been exposed to six or seven schooling environments just because of the last few years and different reasons that we've done that. But we will continue, what I've learnt with my husband now is we will just continue to listen to our hearts all the way along and they might go to six more different types of schools and we're actually okay with that because what I've learnt is it's life learning. I'm moving away from this doctrinated thing of a child should go to the same school all the way along. Maybe they might change two or three times just because of family moves or whatever it is. But actually the learnings they've taken from every environment they've been in has just been mind blowing. And I have had them in very different types of schools. So we haven't moved because you know you know sometimes some people fly in fly out and their parents and all that. We've done it. intuitively, but because of, I suppose, society's circumstances. And we will just continue to be on a road of exploration with schooling and listening to our children, number one. That's right. Like, you know, if something's not working, okay, we're not gonna just pull you out and just decide you can't build resilience out of it, but we do need to look at it and go, does this really suit you as a human being to keep you here, you know? Well I was going to say because we're lucky enough to know your kids and they are great kids and they do not look like they've suffered. It's really funny because the programming for me would have been one school only and if you move like it's like society's breaking down. We moved our kids when they were in primary school and it felt like the biggest deal to actually do that. Yeah. And once I did it, I was like, Oh, actually, it was really fine. And it was better. Yeah, because they actually had a much better experience at that school. Yeah, that led to us, you know, pulling them out of school. But you've just recently moved one of your kids into yet another school because it was not flowing. And you could see that. And yeah, that that's a really interesting place to sit as a parent. And a teacher is you had a child, you've left the other one at the original school. Yeah. The one of your kids you pulled out? Well, he was extremely anxious and he was going down a road that was not him. And he was just out of his body and I could see that the energy in that space was just not gonna be a journey that would be helpful for his future. So we And I think also even many parents see those decisions as being really difficult because it does throw the entire family routine out. And there are, some might say, sacrifices because suddenly you're choosing two different schools, trying to manage two different locations. The logistics, so it's that change that a lot of parents go, oh, you know what, it's just too hard. So I'm sorry, even if one's not really coping, I'm just going to lead them there because as a family, that's the best decision for the family rather than the individual child's needs? Yeah, I think so. And it's about really trusting in the evolution of the family and where everyone's going. And I think my husband and I have really come to the conclusion, I'm sure if he was here, he would agree, that as a priority, we are all on a journey to continue following the highest version of ourselves. And we're not making money be the guider of that as much as there's some serious ego death happening in that space. Yeah, it's a tough road. It's a tough one. In 3D society, you know, you're told you should have this and you should have this and you should have that. But, you know, mental health is the highest it's ever been in our society right now. And I think, you know, unfortunately, a lot of us have just lost our way. And I refuse to have ourselves in a situation where it's not in alignment with us. Yes, it's been really, really, really challenging, our journey. But ultimately, if I look at all the individuals in our family, we're all actually doing exactly what we're meant to be doing right now. We're not forcing ourselves to be anything we're not. And I want our children to learn that, that they must listen to their heart if something's not in alignment, with also consideration for the resilience that they could they could gain from that environment, but it's the tipping point. Where do you actually choose something else? It's not a resilience exercise anymore. No, and it's going to vary based on the child exactly as you said. Every child is so individual and parents have to be acutely aware and also be able to be aware of your very own trigger points like I do a lot of personal work on myself around is this actually me getting anxious right now because of something that happened when I grew up or is this actually a consideration for my individual child that has these other needs and I can see what you know that that his There's truth in what he's trying to connect with. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I do a lot of writing. That's kind of the way that I work through things. And Katie Byron, I love her questions because it really nails on the head where we're going next. And Damien and I have done that quite a lot in the last few years. And then lovely Kerri here reminded me about that probably four weeks ago and I was all on it. I was like, OK. And I did it with my husband. And within three minutes we resolved a massive you know, we could not get a head through what we were presented with, and we just did those questions, and we just sorted it out in a few minutes. We just had to be in the right headspace, and it was like, okay, what's the highest value here? Okay, we're following that. Yeah. So, I mean, the stuff, for the people listening, so to check out Byron Katie's work, it basically is about just drilling down on whatever that sort of belief system is that you're really getting stuck over. And I think these resources are absolutely out there. But what you said, which I really want to pick up on, and which Kez and I feel really passionately about, and McGill, is about de-schooling parents. Because as far as I'm concerned, we're the problem. And I realize that. I mean, you hear that in a soft way, where you go, your children are your mirrors, and they'll be the ones to trigger you. And it's like, the kids don't trigger us. We get triggered by them. That's a very different thing to the kids triggering us. It's like saying the kids are here to test us, which is bullshit. Kids are not here to test us. They're here to live because we conceived them and then grew them and then gave birth to them. They're independent from us. Correct. That's right. They're not here to try and test us. They are here as a part of the life experiment to find out where the edges are, where the cliffs are, and whether they're going to get caught or fall to their proverbial death, which is all part of the richness of living. But it is inherent on us, if we want to say that we are Evolved parents we must get our own shit sorted out a hundred and twenty percent like just just totally And I just watch this with parents so often in the schools that I'm in so I'm working part-time at the moment in a Steiner school and Yeah, just fascinated by my experience In general with parents and the journeys they go on with their kids right from prep right through and how they transform. And I noticed that even with you, Kerri, you've got high school children now, and you do as well, actually, don't you? And so you would also be aware of the transition and the letting go that takes place as the children get older and older, and the triggers that come up. And what you'll do, allow your first child to get away versus your fourth child or your second child. And so I think what that relates to is actually the things that we've got okay within ourselves along the way. I forgot the question you actually asked. What did you actually ask me? I don't think the question matters anyway. I'm just on the journey you're talking right now. I just go off on my journey. Yeah. So I will bring you back to something which was interesting that you just said and I want to hear your perspective then as a teacher dealing with parents who don't have their shit sorted out but may actually think they're kind of The only reason I say that is not to throw them under the bus. No. Is because I was probably one of those assholes for a while that didn't realise I actually needed to properly look in the mirror and take some radical responsibility and start farking the shoulds and doing all the things that we How does a teacher who does understand radical responsibility, who does understand emotions-led learning, who does understand that the priority needs to be realigned to children's interests, how do you then navigate people who are sitting in that space of assessment of what you're doing in a system that's incredibly constrained and not supportive of those main things? Like, how does that work? Obviously, it's communication. Well, this has been interesting for me because I was working interstate last year and came across quite a gnarly, insane circumstances with some parents. And I am deeply grateful for these experiences because, gee, it's opened my mind to just the way people operate and how extreme and polarizing people are. It's just mind-blowing. So typically, I'm quite a soft-natured person. But I am quite direct with what I'll say to parents, but I'll do it in a loving way to try and help them acknowledge that, hey, is this you or is this actually the child? It's not my job to be a psychologist, but obviously parents are met with this. I mean, you can average. five to six emails a night, some teachers can. So Can you imagine getting five to six emails a night from So what my concern about that is, is it's this worry, this kind of situation online where people just type what they're feeling in the moment and then it creates kind of a bit of an explosion, which doesn't have to be. If everybody has time to think, obviously things change after a couple of days. The reason I mention the five to six emails, it depends on what school you're in, of course, and the types of parents you're dealing with. The particular school I was in was a very wealthy area, where a lot of the parents didn't work. So they had time to mull over what their child had told them and not be able to understand that there's a bigger bigger cell body happening in a classroom where there's lots of moving parts and they just think about their one child. So typically teachers can't give information about the information of every single child in a class because it's confidential. So you are just dealing with that particular connection point and parents have, I feel like there's a lack of, I have a lot of compassion first of all I want to say for parents because the system is incredibly rocky right now. So I can see that everyone wants the best for their child and people are connecting with this notion that they want their child to connect with their authentic selves and they want their child to be treated well and they want their child to be fed this information in the right way and the way that you've been told by a psychologist and all these things. But I think the piece is missing that the teacher is one person who you've got a chessboard and it's not always possible, not actually possible, humanly possible, to actually meet every single need. And you're not meant to be a robot that can do that. And I think we've lost, parents and society, have lost trust in each other. Yes, that's so true. You've lost trust in the teacher that they recognise what's happening for your child. And actually we've lost trust in our child that they're on the journey they're meant to be on. And if you really do have a problem with your child being in that environment, consider taking them elsewhere or having them at home. Because it's actually not fair on the class if you've got a child that's feeling the energy of their parents that are uncomfortable with the environment and they're fighting with the teacher or they're trying to accuse the teacher. When actually there's an ethos, there's just so many complicated things going on that, yeah, it's not an ABC situation that's just like, you know, one plus one equals two. It's just not because it's complex. Society's complex, isn't it? So yeah, I just think that everyone just needs to calm down and trust that their child's on the journey they're meant to be on and trust the teachers a little bit more because you know, there'd only be 0.01% of times where a teacher is actually doing something harmful to a child. Yeah, that's right. You know, and so we've got to actually get to know the teacher and go, okay, is this teacher here for my child's learning for the future, for their resilience, for a job they'll be involved in in the future? I always think, you know, every person that you connect with in life is a little bow or something that can teach you something for the future. But if you really don't believe in that system, then you shouldn't have your children there. Damien and I kind of probably jumped to, my husband and I jumped to, just really quickly we jumped and thought, you know what, we'll put our kids in this religious school because we will then be able to put our children in the local high school that's also religious, and they'll just go straight there. We're not particularly religious. We were just really open-minded to the values, and we'd heard that the welfare was good at the school. It's a small school. This particular school on average has 11 children in it per class. We thought, oh, all that will be settling for our children moving back to the state we used to live in. And what we found is that we don't necessarily align fully with what the school provides, just for lots of different reasons. I don't want to say too much, but it's more just saying that one child responded quite well, and the other child royally just did not cope with the ethos of the school and the way that it operated. And so this is, yeah, it's just about number one, looking at what your individual child's needing, but also considering what So yeah. I think also I've had witnessed family who had four children at four different schools. That's a lot when you kind of think of it from a parental perspective of trying to manage that process. But one of the things I really admired about that decision was the fact that they were looking at that child as an individual and giving them that individual experience. And I think We, within the system, we've spoken about this before, but within the system we are looking for efficiency. And whether it be from a family perspective, or whether it be from a school perspective, and that efficiency is coming at the price or at the cost of the kids' experience in the education of, you know, in their educational journey. And I kind of go, gee, that's a big commitment to have four different children at And it's interesting when you actually pull it all apart, because we had to pull it all apart and work out how this kind of situation was going to work for us, even though we only have two children. But what I find interesting is the psychology or the counsellor fees that we were going to pay to keep our child at that school and potentially not having him going to school most days because he was refusing to go to school. in comparison to having him go to the school he was more aligned with, where there wasn't as much energy put into all these other costs and the stress that it was creating for the family. Yeah, it's just what I'm trying to say is you've really got to pull it apart and work out can our family operate differently in this moment and can we play the game differently? And it still works. It might take a while to actually unravel and work out how everybody can get to A, B and C and the logistics of it all. But the universe does provide when we put it out there and go, OK, I'm not willing to work in these spaces anymore because I can't get there. And just look at things in a different way. Because we have to put our children first with the mental health crisis we're in. I really believe that. Yeah. It's a nightmare, particularly for young teens now, too. And I've recently become aware of what's happening in our community, just because I've been speaking to people working on the ground. I have to say, it's actually horrifying. The details I'm finding out are horrifying. I'm not trying to scare the bejesus out of people, but holy crap, there is some ugly stuff going on out there for 12-year-olds, 13-year-olds, 14-year-olds that are having experiences that many of us in our light 40s have never experienced. It's horrendous. These kids have been on the earth for 12 years. It just blows my mind. Without having our listeners reach for the hard liquor now that we've taken them to the dark place that society is dwelling, let's find the juice and the gold in what's happening. How do you, working within the current system, and obviously in the beautiful way that you relate to your children, the kids you tutor as well, how do you help them ground themselves in their environment. What tips have you got for parents? Because, you know, a lot of our listeners are parents and they're just like, oh shit, you're telling me the system's broken, but where do I go from here? What can they replicate at home? So the first thing that comes to mind, which I'm sure a lot of families do, is just to being able to give everyone an opportunity to talk at the table at night when you come home and you have a meal together. The power in that is amazing, like just stopping and allowing everyone to share what were two things that were great today, what was one tricky thing, and just allowing that person to talk and not try and figure out the answers, just talk. Because I think there's, we're getting okay in society now with sharing our feelings and speaking openly and that sort of thing. So that would be number one. I mean, that picks up on families actually eating together. That could be a radical concept for some people out there as well. I know that's important to you. I know that's important to Kerri. They eat an ungodly hour just so they can eat together, like 10 o'clock But, you know, same. Same in my family, too. We coordinate where the six of us can eat dinner. I just think we can miss what's happening in each other's worlds very quickly. And I know that's sort of a given for a lot of parents to hear this. Even us with our busy world, I think, oh, we've got to just, even if we have no energy at the end of the night, it's like, tell me what's going on for you at the moment. What was some things that were really positive today? What was some tricky bits? But I think that it's calling out the system when it's necessary, like tuning in to your child and what the school, because what we're doing is we're continuing to wake up society. Every time we're talking to the school, we're saying, Those six ideas might have worked for other children, but this is not working anymore. What can we do next? And continuing to have those conversations with the school, because the school is problem solving themselves at this time, I feel like. And what happens sometimes with teachers is they will take defence. But there's no need to take defence. We are dealing with children that are like, you know, the indigo kids. I don't know if you've read the book, The Indigo Children. But that whole notion of we've got children we're being presented with today that have never, their personalities and the way they are have never been on this planet before. Like the degree that they're able to express themselves. And so therefore, we don't want to put them in a corner and say, just sit over there, you're not doing the right thing. We want to meet them. Well, I always say like our children are more evolved than us. And so we've got to listen to them. We've really got to listen in. And this is what the whole I'm talking about with the whole dinner table thing. And then, thirdly, if you get to a point where the school isn't able to meet you, you've exhausted all your avenues, and it's not their fault they can't meet you, it could be a variety of different red tape that they've got, or the capacity of the teachers. Some teachers are more connected to the awareness of the soul, or even if you don't want to go that far, just emotions and all that sort of thing. Then you have to really question what is going to suit your child for the future, for their schooling. And, you know, this whole idea of, that's another topic, diagnosing. I was just going Yeah, that's really true. But, you know, like I've always said, and I recognise, when you diagnose a child, the positives of it are that it gives skills to the people that are not sure how to manage that particular child, how to manage them. They might be given six or seven strategies, which is helpful to a point. But then what the damage also can be when you do diagnose them, they've got this kind of box for life. And actually they just might be in a transition stage. Their brain might be transitioning differently to other children for that three or four or five years. But actually they realign when say the parents work on their own stuff. I keep coming back to the parents today. the child is in the right environment that's more suited, or maybe they're given foods that are more nourishing for their soul, which help them to be able to connect to their heart space more. Or, you know, there's so many different variables that relate to a child behaving the way that they're behaving. And we've got to have the space to actually sit down and nut it out. And sometimes that can take years for that to transform. I mean, I know Kerri, you probably relate to that yourself. I just noticed that with my own children, There's a few years where they look like they're a bit wobbly, and then other times where they're just tuned into themselves completely. Steiner talks about the nine-year bridge where children go through this really wobbly stage to eight, nine and ten, and the reason they go through the wobbly stage is because they're actually realizing the world's actually not this fairytale land that they thought it was when they were younger. Their brains are opening up to this consciousness space of, oh my god, you actually die one day, and oh my god, my parents could break up. And all these pieces that they're learning through movies and but they're more conscious of what that means and what that reflects. And yeah, and so we've got to hold the space for our children through those stages and not decide we should diagnose them or we should, you know, 14 is another really significant stage that's spoken about, and then 21, it's every seven years. So it is nice and reflective, because I look at myself now as I'm 41, and it's another seven year cycle. And we have had, I won't swear, but an insanely difficult road just for the last couple of years internally. And our external world has reflected that as well. But I have faith that we'll get through the 42s and we'll be right again. But it is fascinating to read about. Sorry, I'm taking you off track. You talked about strategy, but it's all understanding yourself. That's more, that's what I'm trying to get to. I think what you've just come to though is a strategy in itself, right? And you're right, this is a huge conversation for another potty, but it's actually one I feel really strongly about and I'm challenging the, I will swear, the fark out of people by saying that I don't subscribe to labels. I saw how limiting it was when I worked in ambulance. 100%. It would be something that you would write as a past history. It would get handed over to triage and immediately that person was containerized. So yes, labels are a lazy man's treatment modality. They are not curious. We like curious. Curious is a really good word. Why is a child behaving the way they're behaving? That's right. You know, and and I've definitely connected with so many different connection points over the years, whether it's kinesiology or it's naturopaths or it's, you know, even even just all different types of modalities to understand just human beings. Yeah. I did a psychology degree as well. So I've got that piece. But I feel like the psychology space love to that space because it's needed for its own little section. But when you burst your consciousness space, you realize that there's just this consciousness that's just enormous outside of that space. We're not looking at the brain and how damaged it is suddenly. We're actually looking at a soul that we have We've incarnated into this body for this lifetime, and we've taken on maybe, I don't know if we want to say past life stuff. I mean, it's so complex. And if we are diagnosing a child, are we? My question is, are we allowing them to continue progressing in the best version of themselves by saying, you are this? It's just a question. It's a curious question, because I do come across children that do need support. So I'm really wanting to be sensitive to that space. And I know the deep emotion that comes up with those parents if they were to hear this conversation. Because I was working in a disabled school just recently. And those parents are, I just can't even, I'm covering my eyes now. 24-7 dealing with some of the degree of intensity that some of these parents deal with through the night. I mean, I just love my 8 o'clock turn off point at night, where my kids are in bed or 8.30 they're in bed and I have my own space for a few hours. I have to have my own time to fill my cup up and I can just see those parents, some of those parents, they're just working so much and they're dealing with these really complex issues. That's a whole conversation for another day as well. I want to be sensitive to that because those children, I feel, do need to be labelled to help those parents. But then you ask yourself, what are those beautiful children teaching everyone around them? What it does, and this is why labels are effective, they create permission to accept help because we are unpracticed at receiving, and they put the child's needs front and centre, which we ought to be doing anyway for all children, not just the special children. I say that in italics. You know, like all kids are special in that sense. Some are overtly so in the sense that they are different. And so it's a signifier to society, okay, come and help these people because they need more resources. My issue is the labelling, not the disbursement of resources. People need to be supported and I don't take that away from them because I agree. I look at those people and I take my hat off to them. They are warrior parents of another level. And the fact that they've been given this journey in life must be something there must be something epic they are learning from it. That would be greater than, I imagine, just your general people walking down the street. Like, they must have a love that is like, the love that they must learn to be able to give the compassion, that beautiful soul that's come into that body that they've had, you know, the child that they've had. What a journey. What an incredible sacrifice for their life, you know, to look after such a beautiful, child that actually has so much love to give. But there's also a lot of misinformation out there that absolutely royally, Well, I just, you know, it really frustrates me. Like I go into these schools and these children are, oh, okay. Medication. That's a whole nother story. And I recognize that people need it to a certain point for a Band-Aid sometimes. But if you can imagine the sensory input on these bodies, they're being medicated, they're having foods that are not real foods, a lot of them, because I realise they have eating diversion You've got a system that's just trying to cope, and you've got parents who are exhausted and just want them minded, which is totally fair enough, because they need space for themselves. But I can see that often these children just have a body they've come into that's not in alignment for some reason, whether something's happened at birth, something's happened in utero. maybe the parents have been under extreme stress. And not only that, then the children have been born and they've been born into families that have a lot of toxins around them. They have maybe a lot of yelling and screaming going on because there's extreme stress in whatever's happening. A lot of these children have low nutrition within them because their body's actually not absorbing So even the good quality food they might be given, like the strawberry or whatever, is low because their body isn't able to absorb it because of whatever is blocking off their system. I read this incredible book the other day about, a few years ago actually, about Down syndrome, a Down syndrome child. This mother was able to heal her Down syndrome child because apparently Down syndrome children can't absorb 97% of nutrients in their body, right? So once they could re-teach this body to absorb the nutrients, they also worked on the nose through osteo. And they, because typically their noses are a different shape to ours, they don't get enough oxygen to the brain. So once they worked on the facial features and they worked on all this space around the nose, so I'm pointing and you won't be able to understand what I'm saying. Once they worked on all those things, do you know that child was reading better than the average grade three child that was in that class? The parent, the teacher was just mind blown. And this child had so much love to give that was also able to channel its soul to its greatest potential, right? And I'm not saying that children that have Down syndrome can't do that in other contexts, but this was a unique case for this particular family, and they had an organic vegetable shop, so they were all over all of the toxins in food and all that sort of stuff. Some children don't tolerate toxins to a whole nother level in comparison to other people. I mean I went to school with a boy who would have coke every morning for breakfast and a hot dog and then he would repeat it at night time because this is how the family operated and love to that family. But he would have a coffee as well. So I was in year 8 with this boy. Do you know his intelligence was so high. OK. And he was so calm and a great kid to be around, apart from the fact that he absolutely stunk. So obviously his body wasn't coping to a certain degree. It didn't matter how many showers he had, he stunk. But what I'm trying to say right now, what I'm trying to say is some bodies, human bodies, cope with blood. They can handle it. And some children, like I'm talking the extreme with this Down syndrome child, was absorbing 97%, wasn't absorbing 90% of nutrients. So I find that mind-blowing that we cannot treat everyone and think everyone should do the same because everyone's journey is so individual, you know. So I think that that's such a beautiful place to bring us to a close because it is You know, part of our mandate with this potty is to essentially alchemise education. Now part of the alchemising education is reimagining how we view our kids. And that's, you know, putting their needs front and centre in those senses when they're really struggling, but looking at it holistically. What are they exposed to in terms of their environments? Are they over-committed? Are they actually eating foods that are down-regulating them? Are they exposed to EMFs that are down-regulating them? Are they exposed to pharmaceuticals that are down-regulating them? Could we up-regulate them in different ways? Reducing stress, reducing stimuli, changing nutrition. And they don't have to be lifelong, but they are opportunities to actually high-vibe their experience while they're a developed, well, supposedly developing mind. I actually think kids are quite fully formed, we just entrain them to society. That's right, that's right. And this is where environment is everything for an individual in all ways, I feel. Absolutely. Love It's so funny when you ask a question and I'm like, off on my journey. That's what I love Oh, we've loved having you here, Lauren, because honestly, your insight into the system and your experience around so many different learning environments, as well as your own family's needs and tuning into them as individuals is just... Yeah, And what I want to also share is, because I want to just plug into the fact that I am connected in different spaces, even within my own family. My own child, my oldest boy, at two years of age, I was told by the maternal nurse that he needed to be checked to see if he was autistic because he was showing signs of that. That's what she decided. And I refused to accept that because I could see other things going on for him. So I stopped seeing that person, right, immediately. Instead, I went to a naturopath and I went to a support sort of holistic counsellor. And what I found was as soon as we took him off gluten and we lowered our stress in our home, he started talking in a week, right? Like it was just mind blowing. And what I've noticed with him is that if he's in environments that are stressful for him, suddenly the typical autistic kind of things start to pop up. But as soon as his environments that are in more alignment with him, he is rocking the school he's at right now. He's just loved by the other kids, struts around in the greatest alignment. The teacher's like, the work he's producing is amazing. Just all the kids are loving him. He's the missing piece from the group. What I'm trying to say there is that you can be so misguided by someone who has no knowledge of your particular family and then they get diagnosed and the journey you can go on and that child can go on, right? But the thing is, coming back to a few other things I've said, we can change our minds along the way. You can go, it's not working now, it is now, it's not now, this school system might work now, this might work now, and we don't have to see it. Like we said at the beginning of the podcast, a child should go to school in the same school, from prep all the way to grade 6, because that's what society says. We have to listen to our children and look at them and be open to continue peeling back the Absolutely, and following our intuition as parents and knowing that we actually have the choices that we can take charge rather And I just also want to say, I don't think that autistic children, if we just took that label away, these children are so soul connected and they are so loving and they are so sensory and so aware of their emotions. And if we could just see them as sensitive, beautiful souls that we just need to nurture in a way that is most nourishing to them. suddenly we don't need to diagnose them. We're just meeting them where their needs are at. Like we know with our oldest boy, he can't do two or three things in a day. He just can't. So, and it's not, it's just recognizing that because of his sensory overload that he has, he likes nature space. He likes time on his own. He can do, you know, one decent or two decent things in a weekend. And he's awesome. You know, but anyway, I've just, I know you want to wrap things up, but I just want to piece together that I'm not, not a wet, like, I'm aware of all of the pieces with this. I've come across a lot of different sorts of kids along the way, and our system is just slowly imploding and recreating into this. It's just going to keep evolving, you know. And we've set up for the minority, and I think that's the point, is that we can spend all day going, look, and in some rare cases, we get it. There's always rare cases, but let's talk about the majority. I'm not saying you turn your back on anyone else. No. But you must look at the majority. So we have loved this conversation. Thank you, Luscious Lauren. I love that name. I won't do what my husband would say. He would I think, Lauren, you really have just highlighted a lot of the things we've spoken about before And it's so I'm just so deeply passionate about our children and in a teaching space it's really hard because you can upset parents along the way. In saying what you have to say, but it's all opportunities for us all to look within again and check in with ourselves, isn't it? You know And it's not our fault. I'm not saying anything like that. It's just as parents Yeah, let's allow the onion to keep peeling back for every single individual child that we have You know meeting their needs and it's not about being perfect in this world it's just allowing them to shine their light so they can come onto this planet and do a exactly what they're here to do. That's what I'm ultimately passionate about. Love it. So, peel that onion back if you can, peeps, and even if it makes you cry, persevere because, you know, sautéed onion Actually, it reminds me of the onion. We've got to do it gently too. We don't want it to break apart and just, you know, gently. Just, just notice, be in the present moment with your child and you'll have the answers. Yes. A perfect note to end on. Thank you. Thank you. Well, you're QuantiMama I am. I know. I'm naked, remember? I love it. She's naked, people. Thank you, everyone, for your time. We really appreciate it. I think there's been a lot of gold and a lot of wisdom shared here today. Always. So, we love Thank you for having me. It's fun. Oh, it's a pleasure. Alright, Quanti-folks. Good on you. Go well. Get out there. Get amongst it. Look after your kids. Look after yourselves. Be nice to the teachers because, seriously... There's a lot going on here. Yeah, especially if you're a homeschooling parent, be nice to that teacher. Alright.