Alchemising Education - Rocking The Holidays

What does it mean to truly rock the holiday season? Maybe it’s embracing the mess, or maybe it’s about finally finding a little stillness amidst the chaos. Whatever it looks like for you, we’re here to explore what happens when we let go of the need to “do it all” and instead connect with what really matters.

In this episode, QuantiMama Jodi and QuantiMama Kerri meander through the subtle (and not-so-subtle) pressures of the season, from the cultural addiction to busyness to the quiet rebellion of saying “no” to the noise. Why do we equate doing with being? And what might shift if we paused to notice the moments in between?

What invisible work goes unnoticed in your life? 

What kind of connection feels most nourishing right now? 

And how might this season look if we chose meaning over momentum?

There are no neat answers here—just space to explore, reflect, and maybe even laugh at the glorious imperfection of it all. So grab a cuppa, take a breath, and join us for this conversation about the season, the self, and everything in between.

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Transcript

0:07

One of the hardest things I think as like this sort of reformed adrenaline junkie, and I'm not saying I'm reformed yet, I mean I'm a work in progress. But one of the things is catching yourself when you are still giving into that addiction, and it is an addiction. It is, definitely. That need of busyness is an absolute addiction because we fool ourselves into thinking that doing equates with being. Yes. But there's no connection to the higher self in that moment. It literally is ticking material things off on a list. So what I encourage you to do is look around your life and look at where you get those moments where you start that habit of addiction again and you find that and so how you then Hello, Quanti-folks, and welcome to the final episode. Oh, are we calling it the final episode? It is the final episode of season two of Fark the Shoulds and Alchemising Education. I am Jodi from QuantiMama. Yeah, and I'm Kerri from QuantiMama. Yeah, you are. I am. Rocking it. We are, and in fact, perfect, perfect segue. Thanks, Kezza. You're welcome. Because today we are talking about rocking the holidays. Yeah. Well, you have adult children, so that helps. I've got one that's not there yet. No, true, true. Close enough. Close enough. He's like quite responsible. So why are we talking about rocking the holidays? The reason why we want to talk about rocking the holidays is that in Australia, probably a bit like our Northern Hemisphere cousins, we have a long holiday set that's at the end of the school year. And it's six weeks, but for us it's in summer, which actually kind of rocks. I would much rather live in Australia than anywhere else for the big summer break. And so we have this amazing break over the Christmas holidays as we get all the festive stuff, the kids finish school, they go right up to the end of the year. and just before Christmas Day, and then we have off until essentially the start of February. Now, the reason why we're really keen to talk about rocking the holidays is that something shifted, and I was talking to Kerri about this the other day, but something shifted when we started homeschooling, because I was always someone who like I had four at school for not very long but I had three at school for a little while and I would absolutely hang out for the end of the school holidays. It was almost like this anxiety that would hit me going into the Christmas holidays going what the F am I going to do with the kids for six weeks because these kids expect to be entertained. Why do they expect to It's what they're used to, isn't it? It's just, you know, we have such big school years and, you know, they're always in a routine and they're in a rhythm of the school, the schooling environment. And so, you know, they are used to being entertained at school. They're used to being in a scheduled, structured environment where there's always something happening. There's always something fun. there's always something going on. They have to be somewhere, do something, be ready for something. So I think there's a real challenge for many kids and parents around how to deal with not having anything to do because I know even leading into the end of the school year there's parents who are saying, oh what are you doing in the holidays? Are you doing surf bombs? Are you doing this activity? Are you doing this holiday camp? Like Parents are feeling more scheduling involved and they're kind of like feeling this, how am I going to deal with it? How am I going to deal with these kids who are expecting and are used to And I think that, I mean, there's always going to be a variety of parents. There'll be some that hang out for those. Absolutely. That's great. I have these beautiful little children that I created from my womb that I now get to spend six weeks with. But seriously, I think they're few and far between because the rest of us are like, It's not appropriate to drink at midday. So how am I going to get through the next six weeks with my kids, right? Hearing the unborn and all the other stuff that comes up. But there's a couple of things that I want to pull apart here. Firstly, I want to pull apart, I mean, we're so interested in parents programming. That's why we have a, we have a parenting program called Take the Leave, which is about transitioning to homeschooling if you want to, but it really is about de-schooling the parent or de-programming the parent. Because our programming really is the thing that gets us in hot water with a lot of this stuff. It's not the kids. And then the other side that I want to pull apart is looking at this overscheduling of children or this constant entertainment, right, which means that then you raise children that become adults that expect to be entertained and only feel this sort of satiation when they are busy. busy, right? So they're constantly looking for external cues that they're okay, that all is well in their life, and they're not the adults we want moving into the future. We want adults that actually check in with their own set of instructions, that have their own internal guidance system, that know their own voice, and that know that stillness is as paramount to health as busyness is. Totally. The Yeah. So the two parts, but where should we start? I mean, I would really like to examine how we as parents put in, and I did this, right? For not very long, though, because my stamina is very low with motivating myself with children. hence why I homeschool loosely. But I would really like to examine this momentum we have in society around making ourselves busy for that period of time. Like, I know that certainly our Northern Hemisphere cousins all, you know, there's a majority of them that go on big holidays during the summer break and so forth. And so you replace this kind of work schedule that kids have with schooling with this really intensive holiday period as well that's away from home. So where is the defrag time? Where is the just recalibrating and sleeping into midday like for an, you know, impolite amount of And I think, just going on that, people feel really uncomfortable not having much to do. I think there's a real discomfort in, you know, what am I going to do? What are we going to do? I think it comes also from the fact that we are comparing to a lot of other families, a lot of other people. We're going, well, they're doing this, so maybe we should be doing that. I think there's a lot of FOMO, you know, the fear of missing out, that, well, Gosh, what happens if their kids have that experience and my kids aren't doing that? Will my kids get left behind? There's that whole, you know, sense of missing out in that regard. So I think that, you know, we do get caught up in that need to be just constantly entertaining our children. But the value, the real value, and I know for myself, the more I do this, the more I'm really grateful for it. Is that going slower? It is having nothing to do in the day, like, hello, Quanti folks, how many of you actually had a day where you've had nothing scheduled and how did that feel? For many, it would be really uncomfortable. It's like, Oh, what do I do with myself? And I think there's a lot of gold in that, because as we know, when you have spaciousness, a lot of other things come in. And I actually love the fact that when I don't have some things planned, that suddenly I can say yes to something that really does light me up, rather than already having things so scheduled that there's no spaciousness for those other little bits of gold that just come flying in. And you go, yeah, I'd love to do that. Because often we make Yeah, you do them in advance. You might be working, so you're having to schedule your children through those holiday periods. And then you're kind of going, the kids don't feel like it. Like then they get to the point where they go, I don't want to do that. And you go, but I've spent money on that and I've got to go to work or we've made a commitment to And it feeds into this whole thing of you've got ungrateful children because they don't appreciate the effort you've made. the money you've invested, the work that you've done that then pays for that holiday. And the kids are like, hang on, I never got consulted on that. And me not wanting to do that doesn't mean that I don't value those things, but it's so And we do that as parents. We do that. And I wonder how often we're actually checking in with the kids to say to them, hey, what do you want to do these holidays? What, what, what does a holiday look like to you? Do you, do you want to stay at home or do you want to go off on some adventures? Do they want to be day trips? Does it need to be, you know, just one or two here or there? Well, they're really there. Yes. I mean, it's interesting because again, This is lessons from reluctant homeschoolers, and that's what we bring to you, beautiful folk, is we're just trying to offer a perspective of what it's like, because we don't necessarily choose this as our first choice, but we choose it as a lesser of two evils, for want of a better term. I'm obviously being outrageous. Yeah, very outrageous. It's a very middle-class statement. But the point that I'm trying to make is that when you look, if you actually did an activity chart for your child who is in some kind of institutional system, look at how much time they spend at home. So start with that. And then obviously delete out sleeping hours. and then start calculating how many hours a day or minutes they spend just being at home, being at home. I mean, not even doing activity, not even listening to their parents going, have you got this? Have you got that? And all those kind of haranguing questions that then get carried over into holidays. And so no wonder parents are exhausted they've invested all this energy in terms of money and the energy of working and the energy of planning and the expectation and all the pressure like there's so much energy that is dedicated to these school holidays especially when you plan a holiday but then you get there and you go everyone just cracks us out yeah and so no one's having fun they're not having the defrag time there is no spaciousness and then we hit our 40s and we go Let's go pay, you know, 150 bucks a month to some yoga place and learn stillness. It's hilarious. Like what's going on in this world? We then need to create permission for ourselves to learn stillness. So one of the things of gold that we have got out of choosing to homeschool or to jump out of the mainstream institution is that the kids are home. So they get then a far more balanced or we'll call it harmonious rhythm of downtime, of creativity, of scheduled stuff, and everything just feels like you've taken the pressure off, which is really nice. And there are still moments of squeeze, there's still moments of pressure, but it's Well, we don't actually even realise it's holiday time, do we? No, not at all. Because it kind of feels like we're in that frequency, the whole... year round. Yes, that's right. Because we even forget that, oh yeah, it's school holidays. I mean, the only thing is that we might notice that one or two of their activities changes a little bit, you know, but nothing severe, nothing dramatic. It's actually a really even flow throughout the year. That's right. And so you're not sort of dragging your feet to the end of the line, just trying to make it to Christmas in exhaustion. And then having to try and feel like you're ready to be there and available for your kids in the school holidays. Yes, that's right. We just don't have that because I think they're a bit more self-sufficient. They're really comfortable, sometimes I think too comfortable with downtime. Yeah. But I love that because they won't be going and paying someone money in Yes, that's right. They've learned that. They're life skills. It's a life And they don't second-guess. guess that, they don't even question it, Well, I mean, again, I always look at this and I say our kids are smarter than what we are, you know, and I was telling you, I don't know, I mentioned it last night or something, we talk often, She's like my wife, you know. In the other half. That's right, in the other half. But literally, I was saying to Kezza that I had had such a like crazy busy, I could feel my adrenals were just on fire all the time, this kind of energy leading up to Christmas because of the part-time work that I do, this is our busiest time, that I would have snatches of time at home and I would fill it up with activity. Like I was, you know, building stuff and McGill had to come home and go, Would you promise me to stop building stuff? Like, because I just would like you to, because he could see I was just stretching myself. And so being, um, one of the hardest things I think as, um, like this sort of reformed adrenaline junkie, and I'm not saying I'm reformed yet. I mean, I'm a work in progress. But one of the things is catching yourself when you are still giving into that addiction and it is an addiction. It is definitely. That need of busyness is an absolute addiction because we fool ourselves into thinking that doing equates with But there's no there's no connection to the higher self in that moment. It literally is ticking material things off on a list. So what I encourage you to do is look around your life and look at where you get those moments where you start that habit of addiction again and you find that and so how you then break And just thinking about what that's teaching our kids. Oh, like, you know, monkey see, monkey do, right? So if we are doing that, they think that that's how we have to exist. Like yesterday afternoon, I actually, after doing a little bit of work, I actually sat down and fell asleep on the couch. I love that. Oh my God, it was like crazy. And you know, my kids would have seen me sitting there snoring, like, or whatever I was doing, mouth wide open. But I think that's really important for them to see us doing that. Yeah. Because, and yet I, you know, I used to maybe feel guilty about that, but I actually reminded myself, this was good for me. This is a moment where I could just stop and do nothing. You know, everyone else was relaxing around the house, so why would Yeah, you could do the same thing. And in fact, I think often what happens because of the ways, you know, our middle class society is set up, is that you would need to have some kind of serious medical condition to allow that permission. I mean, I'm so interested about permission in our society. I actually, I want to do a conversation on it because it is, it's so perverse in terms of how it affects all our decision making and the flow on effect. And even, not that I'm critiquing what you're saying, I think what you're saying is completely valid, but you know, that The kids are calling me, of course. I'm just going to ignore them. Because you Quantifolk are very important and you QuantiMama Kerri are definitely important. But the permission thing and even that language around, oh, it's for us that we model that to the kids, because we need to still create that permission. So even that framework is I'm being of service to my children. I might have to sleep on the couch in the afternoon. Yeah, that's right. That's right. I mean, I didn't probably think that in the moment, but I was thinking in reflection. But yes, you're right. You I just think it's a really interesting thing. And certainly being a should farker starts getting rid of permissions in that sense. We start working out what our real sovereignty is, you know, and I'm not talking about free citizenship. I'm talking about knowing your own voice. I'm saying living a life that is authentic and is, you know, in alignment with yourself. It's not about hurting others, but it's certainly not about going with the, you know, with the sheep and the the tide of society that is not necessarily for our betterment. So that is a whole other conversation. So tell me, what are your school Well, I mean, they're just a lot more relaxed. I'm not feeling this need to be entertaining them and to be, you know, even questioning what they're doing. Like, I'm not even asking them, what have you got on tomorrow? Like, I'm just letting them go with the flow. I mean, so long as I know when I have to take my youngest, drive them somewhere, that's about the only thing that I really need to worry about. But I'm actually also finding that they're actually asking for family time. Yeah. So, they're actually saying, hey, why don't we do this? So, it's not even coming from me. It's coming from them feeling like they've got, you know, spaciousness or just creating that. And I just think everyone then gets to find their own flow. It's not prescribed, it's not dictated, it's just allowed for. And then how often I'm surprised by the fact that they then go, well, why don't we do this together? And I go, whoa, yeah. Do you feel like a successful parent then? I'm Self-assessment markers of I'm winning. I need to tell someone about It's not just that that's something that I've valued. You do, yeah. So therefore, the fact that I'm not asking them for that, it's just coming back to them. It's kind of like maybe I've just pushed it so hard in the past. right you will do family time now. That's right. And they kind of realise oh god we better keep mum happy and give her a bit of family time. But I'm just letting them decide and I think that's the most important thing is that they get to decide what works for them and hopefully it works for all of us then so Well society would tell you that kids don't want to hang out with their Well, they don't want to hang out with their parents unless their parents are paying or That's what I'm saying is that most parents are kind of stressed in those spaces. So I think we naturally put that upon our kids going with the kids wouldn't want to hang out with us anyway. Yes. And so we force his family time. But in fact, the kids love hanging out with us. They do, but they want the relaxed version. They want the post yoga meditation version of Correct. Correct. And when we are so stretched in the rest of the year and we are so, you know, our adrenals have just been run dry, then it's very hard to I think for me, you know, the school holidays now, I notice a difference because there's still some rhythms that get mixed up. You know, you have a break from, you know, certain programs, like the kids do Ninja and they don't have Ninja over the school holidays. And there are more school based friends who are now available for plays. And so you notice a few of those kind of differences. Interestingly, like my family insist on coming down. and visiting us. And I'm like, we're here all year. Like, you don't have to feel like you need to come in the busiest time. Because obviously we're down by the ocean. So, you know, it makes it a nice holiday destination. But I'm like, it's mental No, no, it's not a quiet time. So there's still a few of those that get peppered through your experience. But what's really different is the kids don't have an intensity about them. or a need to defrag so there's no fallout like it actually just is really cruisy and i have to say it's a really nice way to live like i highly recommend it to people so what happens is it changes you know how um we're feeling about our relationship with our kids it it um means that you can not be so available to your children. Because I think that when you work and you have your children at school, there's like this intensity to get all the time together, the meaningful time together. But part of that meaningful time is actually time apart. Yes. Time just relaxing and time perhaps being creative. And so we don't have any of that issue now. It's kind of like the kids just kind of go with the flow. There's no issue if I say, hey, I'm ducking out to do a podcast with my bestie. So the kids just go, OK, cool. See you later. No intensity whatsoever. And I just I love that for us. I really love that for us. And that's one of the most, I think, satisfying things. I think it's the power of what parenting can actually look like and what family relationships can look like, because that was absolutely absent when we were doing the normal, the normal Yeah, I think just not having people exhausted, because as we all know, when everyone in a family is exhausted, it can just go horribly wrong, can't it? Just everyone's emotions are heightened. Everyone's needs are extreme. And it takes a long time to get into that zone. I think for some families as well, the end of the school holidays, it's almost like they've just found their rhythm. Yes. Absolutely. And then they have to go back to the school where you're at. It changes again. Because it takes time. It does. It takes a lot of time And a rebuilding of trust. I mean, I've said this before, this is all part of what we talk about in Take the Leap is reestablishing a trust in various things. Now, that one's about learning, but this is actually about having downtime as a family too. So, creating that, I guess, more permission, but permission to allow for the trust to rebuild, that it's all okay to be together and it won't be so intense. Because kids, I think, by and large, are fatigued by the intensity All the expectations that we set on them, because Yeah. I want to wrap up because one of our new favorite things is to do a little bit of laughing yoga. Now, laughing yoga is to take a statement that really is, you know, it is makes no sense, or it's upsetting or whatever, and to change the energy. Yes. So, so Kesa, my, my laughing yoga for you, because Kerri is officially the world master of laughing yoga. So join us if you will, folks. But Kezza, as we say goodbye to our beautiful Quantifolk and to season two of Fark the Shuds, An Alchemising Education, and we look forward to 2025. Can I just say that one of the most helpful and beneficial things about the Christmas school holidays is that the kids get six weeks of holidays and parents who are working full time get a total of four weeks for You look like you're crying. We'll see you next season. Beautiful Quantifolks. You know at QuantiMama we have a mandate that we feel so passionate about. We want and we are raising the community's vibration and frequency and consciousness. through parenting and birth experiences. Such incredible, transformational experiences that will shape you as a person and are the very fabric of life. You want to find out how to high-vibe your experience even more? Then Quantumama is your place. Head there for the high-vibe birth course, Ultimate Preparation for Birthing. Head there if you want to re-engage your child in the love of learning for the Take the Leap course, which is a de-schooling course for parents. There's beautiful mind movies, and obviously this podcast is there, and we are here to support you. So head there for all the juice.