Alchemising Education - Be The Example

Oh, the joys of parenting when you're running on three hours of sleep and yesterday’s coffee. In this episode, we’re peeling back the layers of what it really means to lead by example—not the Instagram-worthy, perfectly curated version, but the raw, messy, beautifully human one.

How do we reconcile our own, often slightly unkept, growth with the desire to guide our children toward resilience, authenticity, and joy?

We dive into the imperfect art of "showing up". Parenting isn’t about flawless execution (thank fark)—it’s about presence. It’s about letting your kids witness your mistakes and the ways you learn from them. 

When we embrace our own humanness, what are we teaching them about theirs?

Parenting isn’t just about raising kids; it’s a mirror reflecting back the parts of ourselves we often overlook. If you’ve ever felt like the wheels are falling off the parenting wagon or questioned how to inspire your kids when you feel far from inspirational, this one’s for you. It’s a love letter to imperfect parents everywhere—reminding you that being real, vulnerable, and willing to grow is the ultimate example.

So grab a cuppa (or whatever keeps you grounded) and join us as we explore how being the example isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being real, agile, and deeply committed to the experience.

Loved this convo? Come deeper.
This is the tip of the iceberg—and you’re not meant to navigate birth, parenting, or education alone. We’re here for the ones doing it differently.

Find our free resources, self-paced courses, monthly gatherings and more at quantimama.com

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Transcript

0:06

But the thing was, in that moment, I just, and I felt this in my body. I know people say, I love you, but I can't be around you right now. And I'm like, I farking don't even feel that. I'm just like, I don't, I would rather you move to another family. And I feel that in my entire body, right? And that's considered a pretty ugly thing for a parent to say. But McGill was there too, and that always unseats me, because he's our steady rock. And I'm like, shit, if McGill's planning on rehoming this kid, we're in trouble. Wow, yeah, we're all in trouble Hello, Quanti-folks, and welcome to another episode of Faark The Shoulds and Alchemising Education. We're doing alchemising education today, and I'm Jodi from QuantiMama. Hi, and I'm Kerri from QuantiMama. So, Kez, it's just laying the topic on me right now. I have no idea, so I'm Here's the baton, my darling. Oh, my Lord, this is good. So, I was just pondering the other day when I was thinking about when we struggle as adults and kids struggle with emotional intelligence when we're both in that sort of position about how much grace we show to ourselves, which then how much grace do we give to our children when they're struggling? Because I know that's something that I've really tussled with over time and I'm learning in my adult years to show more grace towards myself when emotionally I'm not perhaps coping with something. And it then made me think about, you know, our beautiful kids in which we expect so much of them. And I think about the child who's on the floor screaming of the supermarket and the mum who's absolutely mortified that everyone's staring at her and going, oh, look at that parent. She's got no control or what's going on with that child or that child's being naughty. And I kind of think, you know, we show grace often to the children on the supermarket floor, but where do we show grace to ourselves in those moments when we're feeling out of alignment or where we're not doing something that lights us up or we're being forced to do something when we don't want to do it? You know, so it really made me think about how we role model to our children. Yes. Because we need to focus on us first in order to be able to show our children how to manage that. So I know. It's a really long title. I don't know if Spotify's going to cope with that. It's definitely a... Are we talking aligned parenting? A lion parenting is... Being the adult in the room? Yes, the adult in the room. I don't want to do that. It's about being the example and giving grace to everybody involved. Well, being the example is a beautiful phrase. Let's go with that one. Welcome, everyone. Today's podcast title is Being the Example in Alchemising Education. But we're really talking, I guess, because we talk about alchemising education, we think of education as quite broad in this sense, don't we? And I feel like in this space, we're actually talking about how we are like just better humans showing up in a more aligned space and a more authentic space. So talk more about this. Talk more about, you know, being the Yeah, well, being the example is I feel It still also goes back to living in alignment as well, so that when we are... Can we break that down for people? What does living in alignment mean? Well, doing things that light us up, doing things that feel work with our strengths, doing things that really pique our interest, doing things where we feel we are adding value, doing... Well, certainly not doing something just because we're forced to. Or doing things because we should, because we've got societal expectations and programs around things. And I think being really aware of all of those things is is just so important because when we're aware of where we're in alignment versus where we're out of alignment, then I guess almost our behavior and our children's behaviors reflect that. So, when I think about a child who's who's doing something because they should, or because their mums asked them to, or because the teachers asked them to, or because the siblings told them, let's go and do this, this, this, it's fun, and you kind of go, ah, no. I'm not interested. But then they do it anyway. And then they feel this sense within their body somewhere, generally, you know, it's an anxious feeling, often that's the stomach, and you're kind of going, I don't want to do this," or, it doesn't feel right to me, but, oh, hang on, I've got so-and-so telling me that I should do it and that I, you know, it's normal to do it. But actually, where do I get a say in saying, no, I don't really feel like that. And so, I recognize that it's important to push ourselves and sometimes do things that are outside of our comfort zone. But I feel like what's happening far too often at the moment is that we are asking of ourselves and our children to do a lot of things that don't feel in alignment to them. So they get this body reaction or they get this nervousness or this fear that rises up and yet, you know, oh hang on, what's wrong with me if I don't do this, you know? you know, what was our topic again? What do we call it? No, you're doing great. Keep going. Be an example. Be an example. So I was thinking about the alignment element. Yeah, it was. But being the example around knowing when we don't want to do something and being okay with that and giving grace to the fact that sometimes we're not coping when we do say yes to something or when we are doing something that doesn't feel right for us. So I think as parents, we need to set that example and sometimes be prepared to say, no, no, thank you. That's not for me. Or I actually really just need to nourish myself today. I'm feeling really overwhelmed. I'm feeling exhausted. And I'm actually just going to go and sit underneath that tree and just take some moments in silence and just try and self-regulate myself, which we're not good at doing in society these days. We're too rushed. We're I hear you. I hear you. And, like, I loved all of that and I want you to know that I wanted to jump in multiple times. It was like seeing this beautiful, welcoming pool and wanting to dive in multiple times and have fun. There was so much gold in there. I want to unpack some of this because there was a lot in there, but it's quite circular in terms of what you're talking about. So this idea of being the example, which I think is so important, it feeds into radical responsibility, self-responsibility. It feeds into farking the shoulds, which is what we're all about. And something that dropped in when you were talking about that was the idea that farking the shoulds or that anxiety, they're inextricably linked. And it's this thing that we, I think we discount all the time, this phrase of gut instinct. But it does, that anxiety, generally speaking, will register in the body, usually down the gut, which is, you know, part of that intuitive space where our body can actually notice when things don't feel right for us, or what we would term inalignment. And I am, as you know, like a believer that We're a community of cells. I'm not a believer of that, that's a fact, but I'm a believer that that community of cells can register truth and, you know, distruth or untruth or whatever the phrase is, like in a speed that we can't even fathom, right? On a conscious level. So we feel that that anxiety, yes, we notice that sort of feeling in the gut, but what's actually happening is the entire body is lit up with, that's a no from me. And we don't even need to understand it. The mind says, oh, show me the reason, show me the fact. And then the programming in society then says, ignore that, push through that. And I literally had this conversation with Quantikid 2 the other day because she's been horse riding and her... And it is, it's that really interesting space of what's a no and what's new and And she has been that space of stretching herself because her horse riding is just... going through the roof, right? She's being tutored by this really amazing woman who's very experienced, who recognizes that discomfort of newness and pushes her through. But the other day, she was in a space where that woman wasn't there to guide her and give that feedback. And she, her whole body was just going, no, and the horse was responding too, right? Because the horses are really intuitive, so it's showing up going, oh, you know, I can feel that you're anxious. And so what I was saying to her was, that's an opportunity to do something different and see if that changes in the body. So I didn't want to be prescriptive, but I want to wake her up to the fact that That's your feedback, right? Yes. And the, you know, karma or the universe or the quantum field will bitch slap you if you keep ignoring that. Like, you know, if you don't respond to the pebble, you'll get a stone. If you don't respond to the stone, you'll get a brick. And God forbid if you get a boulder, like a boulder. Or a meteorite. Correct. That's just nuking the whole lot, right? So where do you want to be in concert with the universal field or with the quantum field, which is, you know, the soup that we're all in, all interconnected. And so what I reckon is the body is obviously registering that truth. So then when we talk about living in alignment, we get to work out where the flow is, you know, being like water and so forth, and then the impact of what that is to show that to our kids and model it. So, tell me about how that feels because I think lots of people will register recognition of Well, it's really interesting because it's something that I've been paying more attention to over time and learning to honor more and more. And of course, to start with, when you start to honor what's right for you as an individual or what's right for you and your family or what's right for you and your child, It can be really uncomfortable. Is that because you're not seeing it reflected around you in society? Yeah, I believe that. In your community? I believe that. Well, there's a lot of noise out there. There's a lot of people sort of giving you standards. by which you need to live your life by. And I think that, so when you start to push back against that, and you start to go, well, can I actually honor what's right for me? Can I actually do this because it's actually important to me or feels right in my body? And to start with, it can be like, well, certainly by acting in that way and taking that, making that choice, it's really uncomfortable. But it's like a muscle. The more you use it, the more comfortable it gets and the more liberating it is. And then the more we're doing what actually makes us happy and brings us joy. And this is where I believe as parents, we need to be that example. Whether it be working in a job that we're enjoying or not enjoying. feel it, they see it, they observe it. You know, someone comes home from work and they're grumpy and they're irritable or whatever it might be, or they're finished through even if they're sick because they think, I've got to go to work. I can't take a sick day. So, you know, and we're living that. And our children are picking that up. And so, then they end up doing what we do. I mean, we know that. They pick up the good and the bad, right? Absolutely. So, I think to start with, when we start honoring what's important to us, and we start to realize the value of it. how much peace it brings within our body, then you know, they see that, we do that and we can start to mirror it for each other. Yeah, that's so true. Just flexing that muscle, the more we do it, the easier it becomes and the more liberated it is towards living a life that's Well, we were talking about how, and I don't know if it just applies to girls, but how it seems girls particularly do people pleasing a lot. Yes. So, I mean, I actually suspect probably it's across the gamut, but we see it more in girls because they, you know, society set up for them to acquiesce a bit more and, you know, look pretty and not say much. And I mean, I know that obviously the feminism thing and all that is in there. But very much so, you know, women are not celebrated for being loud and ostentatious or knowing their own mind, are they? So the undercurrent of people-pleasing is very strong and often with the people-pleasing is there's probably a whole lot of shoulds in there as well. Oh, absolutely. So they're constantly getting feedback from their body going, this is not right, this is not right. And I suspect... And that becomes the normal then, that That feeling, and this is why we wonder why there's so much anxiety out there. You know, the anxiety is coming from exactly that place. So, and it Yep, absolutely. And so then we live with this undercurrent of anxiety all the time that we are doing our best. We sort of go, oh yeah, the body goes, all right, so we're just going to live with that anxiety. So let's just turn the dimmer switch down on the feedback, as in turn the dimmer switch up. You know what I mean. Dim it more is what I'm trying to inarticulately say. More coffee, thank you very much. It is early. But we dim that feedback. And the thing about the mind and the body is it is so clever. It's like the original. AI except it is actually nature. We'll call it nature's intelligence in that case. It's the original NI in that sense. What happens is the mind and body says, oh, you don't need that. Okay, cool. We're just going to drop that alarm down. So it's just hanging around in the background. You've got this, just this, this constant kind of tumbling anxiety that's sitting there because you don't honor what's right for you. What's your truth? You don't, you know, honor your yeses. You definitely don't honor your no's. And so that sits there. And then what does that lead to? Disease, right? It's the answer is in the name. It's disease. And so then we have this plight of mental health illness. a crap ton of autoimmune illnesses which are all stress related like get that through your head yes they're all stress related so that is the body responding to well for F's sake you're not going to listen to the alarm then in that case this stuff's going to get down regulated over here Will that get your attention? And then we get a diagnosis, back to labels, we get a diagnosis of an autoimmune illness. I actually cannot believe the gaslighting that happens in our Western society, this panacea of take a pill, go talk to a therapist. And I'm not denigrating therapists, but I'm like, get back to the root cause. Where is the lack of alignment in your body? The other thing that I really loved that you were talking about, which I think we can get caught up with this false spiritual movement that's out there. And I call it a false spiritual movement, which is you've got to go do what you love and yada, yada, yada, and just shine your light wherever you are. And I'm like, firstly, some effers don't deserve your light. So take your light elsewhere. If it's a crappy, dank, dark, poorly cared for environment, go shine your light somewhere else. You don't need to hang out there. That's number one. Number two, you may have that response of, well, I don't have the option to go get another job. Like there's a whole bunch of reasons why I have to do the job. And so then the radical responsibility comes around to Perspective. So where you say about living in alignment, it's not just about going and getting your dream job. That is possible and it's probable. People achieve it. They absolutely achieve it and there are examples, right? But if there is a dissonance and you can't hook into that, then that's not right for you right then. And so you must, you must to live in alignment, find the gold in your current predicament. not just gratitude, you've got to find the gold. The gratitude is the response for being thankful for being in that space and going, gosh, I love my shitty job because I get to eat. minor details of life, but you know, whatever it is, however you want to phrase it, however you want to find the humor, the lightness, the alignment, but you get to show up in that space and bring all of you, right? And then nature will assemble itself because if you're not meant to stay in that job, Something else will come up totally but we don't have any trust in that process, right? So then we don't even trust in the alignment of how the universal energies can support us Yes, and we just kind of think I will do a vision board and and therefore I'll be a supermodel. I mean No, I'm just saying probably not at 49 anyway and But I do think that there's, we've been kind of misguided into the simplicity of it and it actually, we cheat ourselves. You know what I mean? And the body, which is always registering the truth, it picks up on that cheating. Doesn't it? And as you say, our kids are so bloody perceptive to what we're doing. Like they're intermingled from an energetic perspective. Like the energy field for those that are sort of just getting their head around this, because these are like decent topics. your energy field will sit somewhere around the one and a half to three meter mark, depending on how you are. Obviously, the more down-regulated you get, the more it shrinks back into the skin sack, right? But when you're sort of feeling like you're in alignment, it can really balloon out and you can feel that, right? They're the people, they walk in the room and you're like, whoa! I mean, they're naturally magnetic, aren't they? So you can feel that. So that exists. It is a potential for all of us, isn't it? So then when you are sitting in that space, then people who are in your vicinity, just like we are, we're getting our energies all I'll get you a cigarette after. Not really. Smoking's bad. But there's that intermingling of energies, right? And so that's why you vibe off people. But your kids, I think, are always intermingled with that. Absolutely. Because they're connected with you in a different way. Totally. They're kin, right? Totally. So they're constantly feeling that. So I can see even Quantikid 4, and he's out there doing something moderately dangerous. I literally can see him right now doing that. And I'm just like, Okay, because I know I'm connected with him, I'm like, stay upright, stay whole, stay with the amount of No, you don't need to know. It's all right. We'll deal with it if blood comes spurting out. I think it'll be okay. He's very robust. But my point is that we get to exercise that. So that's actually a really amazing thing, isn't it? It's a bit like twins and they can be on opposite sides of the world and they can still be hooked into each other energetically. They can feel each other's feelings. They can show up symptomatically when one's sick, the other one will shop. wild, but wild but actually just proof of what we're saying. So how then do you on a daily basis, because I know you're into radical responsibility, how Modeling it to the kids. Radical self-responsibility is everything, isn't it? And that's something that we don't pay enough attention to either. I've become much more aware of my choices and how I behave and how I interact. And so that when something's not kind of working for me or I'm feeling like it's just, you know, the energy's becoming negative and frustrated and there's a buildup of, you know, I won't say goodness, probably badness. We'll call it energy. We'll Yeah, got some fire happening. And I just sort of think that it's about stepping away. Yeah. It's about just taking a step away and trying to just go back into feeling that I wouldn't say peace, but maybe calm, calm in the body and just recognizing where perhaps my actions are not demonstrating grace. Yeah. Yeah. Not demonstrating grace. Doesn't mean that I always manage to do that, but that's certainly what I am learning to do more and more of is just stepping away, not feeling like I have to stay in there and fight or, I'm not saying fight with the other, but fight with myself. Yeah, react. It's just take a step back and try and just understand where we need to show ourselves grace. Because I think if we demonstrate that to our children, then they learn to do it for themselves. And this is being that example is so important on so many levels. that we know we are radically responsible, they then learn that as well. And I just feel like we just need to make sure we show that grace of being the example and just being kinder to ourselves. Because if we're really hard on ourselves, which I have been, I have been that person who's just judged myself harshly and I've been hugely critical of decisions I've made or where I am and what I'm doing it for. And again, I've just recognized that our children watch that. And then when they get older, and even when they're young, they mirror it back to us. The gold is when we see ourselves in that mirror and we go, ooh, okay. I've been a part of that. I've demonstrated that for them. So no wonder that's what they're demonstrating. So I think it's really important just to be able to recognize where we're feeling out of alignment or where we're doing things that are for shoulds and to people please. I've been a great people pleaser, massive. Well, it's good to be good at something. Well, it is, but not when it's at the expense of yourself. No, I know. This is the thing, isn't it? And this is where we've just learned to accept that as being okay. Yeah, and then we accept the ensuing illness or whatever it might be as well, the stress, depression, anxiety, all these very handy diagnoses that are actually just symptoms of life being lived out of alignment. Absolutely. So And look, it comes from experience, all of this stuff. So I want our listeners to just be mindful that I don't know where they're at with their kids. You've got younger kids than me. And the goal between the two of us is the fact that I'm sort of a few steps ahead. And I can start to see where if I was to go back and do it again, I would do a lot of things differently. So this is coming purely from lived experience. So I just want everyone to just be Well, because Until you see beyond the sort of mirage of what's actually been happening, this spell that we're under that we need to behave in a certain way to be good citizens, because living in alignment doesn't mean that you're not thinking about your community. You are thinking about your community, because when you're living in alignment, you're a better community member. Absolutely. selfish situation where you're going, all my needs are more important than everyone else's, it's just like I need to honour what is right for me and what's my yes in that moment. And it did come back to me. So the thing that you were saying that I really loved is that showing grace, because I think what happens often, and you know, McGill and I have this conversation, because Quantikid 4 is freaking hot. He's like dragon fire in a kid's body. Yeah, he's an absolute firecracker. And with that energy, we're assigning a good or bad to it because it doesn't feel great when he's in his fiery state. And then he has these moments of absolute tenderness that you would assume is not possible for such asycholic behavior, right? And so part of that showing grace is it's not actually acceptance. We're not condoning the behavior, but it's this thing that you've talked about before, which is hanging onto the rope of the child. So you hang onto the child's rope and you just give them a bit more. And so that idea of changing your environment, stepping back is potent, right? Because it's like, I'm not disconnecting from you. I'm stepping further back because your energy field is so big right now that I need to give myself space so I can still model what I want you to be. And what I want me to be as well, right? So it is, it's that being that example. And, you know, we had this thing, I mean, I actually find real benefit in voicing the ugly stuff because I know I don't really mean it. So, you know, the last couple of days, McGill and I were both feeling Quanta Kids' fieriness, right? Over the F-bombs. This kid is just... I mean, if you could actually do a subject in the curriculum on swearing, he would be like an A++ student. He'd be into university now. He's so good He's good at words, isn't he? Like, his mastery is We're doing a universal language that's not very well-received and It is his own. But the thing was, in that moment, I just... And I felt this in my body. I know people say, I love you, but I can't be around you right now. And I'm like, I farking... Don't even feel that I'm just like I don't I would rather you move to another family and I feel that my entire body right and that's considered a pretty ugly thing for a parent to say but McGill was there too and that always Unseats me cuz like he's our steady rock. Yeah, I'm like shit if McGill's planning on rehoming this kid. We're in trouble Well, yeah, we're all in trouble I But I said to him, this thing that came through that was very much for me as well, was when Quantikid 4 is in that space of pushing everyone away, like with this language that feels vulgar and violent and all those things, he's using his energy up because he doesn't... he's doing an outpouring of energy because he doesn't know what else to do with it. Correct. It must feel huge in his body. You can see the heat coming off him, right? He's bright red. He's sweating. It's not even hot enough for that. So you can see that there's this, you know, extra energy. So then we look beyond that. And I said to McGill, this is the time he needs us the most. He needs to know that he is safe to move this energy because he doesn't need that in himself. We already know that We've very well versed on the down regulation that stress does to the body So if if he was in a calm state, we would say hey kid You're always welcome to vent your energy because it does nothing to put it in the rubbish bin on the body That's right. So that will come back and slap you later on so you don't need that rubbish bin get rid of it and move it out and then In that moment of him moving it out. We're like, oh, So it's a reminder to show that grace in that moment, even if the best you can do is to go silent and just think about him in his tender moments. Because underneath all that energy that your kid is expressing is that tender soul that you Absolutely. And maybe take it one step further and consider yourself in that tender way as well. Because often we're getting riled up because there feels this sense of judgment that is our child being raised in a way that he's going to turn out okay? Successful parenting. It's that successful parenting, right? We're going to get marked down for this one. Yeah. And will we ever get out of this stage? And are we doing okay? So it's taking It's taking the grace for both of you in that moment, which is not easy, but that's by taking that step away and just going, okay, okay. Love for myself, love for the child. And just trying to Well, and love for those around us that judge the situation. Absolutely. Because in fact, their judgment is a judgment on themselves as It's like the kid in the supermarket, oh, he's throwing the tantrum. You know, some people come past and go, oh, isn't that sweet? Oh, poor little boy. I feel his pain. And others are going, oh, God, that mother doesn't have that child under control. Yeah, that's right. So there is a lot of judgment. And we just need to take away that judgment. It's And just know that you're- How could we do that? Let's start a movement, Kezza. How can we do that? I'm going, not that everyone will want this, but I'm like, In that moment, what do I need most? And I'm like, I need someone to come up and say, do you want a hug? Like imagine being that mother in the supermarket and someone comes up and they say to you, would you like a hug? And you'd be like, Yes, because then my community gets me. Oh God, it almost makes me want to cry. It does make me want to cry, because I do think it's so isolating. And exactly right, what you said was so right. We build those walls of judgment around us. And people might not be, they might be in a space of going, wow, that kid's having a That's what I normally think. Absolutely. But I would often talk, I mean, you know me, I would stop and say to that mother, I would say something to just reassure them. Because I you know, I've been there and I felt that judgment and the kid is loved by that mother You may not feel it or the mother may not feel like loving them But there is a there's a genuine love and a desire to protect that child But it's the mother who needs it. Jodes is Oh, well, because I've never seen that in action. I find that to be remarkable. I am not surprised in the least that you Well, I haven't done a hug, but maybe next time I would, because I do know that the parents in that moment, the only way they can help that child is for them to feel supported. And that is that role of being in community. So, I'd be so interested. So just before you venture off this, How were the words received? Do the parents register that, or is it a bit impenetrable at that Yeah, it's a bit of both. Sometimes I've had the response of, oh, thanks. I just needed to hear that. And some just don't even see or hear you. They're just so in that moment that they just, it's almost like there's, for them, maybe shame, and they can't even look at you. It's a survival mechanism where they're just completely, you know, grabbing that child or trying to get that child off the ground or whatever it might be. Yeah. I mean, I'm not just talking about the supermarket. It's a lot of places where we see it. No, no, Yeah, and there are cameras everywhere, so you really, you can't manhandle your child. Even And plenty do, because they're just in that state of absolute despair. So, you know, it is that grace for ourselves as well as our kids, I think we really need to, and we need to teach them that. Because when they're kids, if they're not learning it as kids, then when do they learn to do it for themselves as adults? And I think there's just, There's room for more practice in that one in our society, I think, to just have a bit more grace and just be the example for our children. And know that we're not going to always get Oh, definitely not. I mean, that's the human experience. So I want to just wrap up with, give me an example of when you have borne witness to your kids or kid demonstrating exactly what it is you want for them, when they have made a choice that appeared to be I'm intentionally putting you on the spot, because I know this is happening in your household, but what comes up immediately when you think of that? When have you seen your kid just going, and you were like, ha, successful Gosh, I've just gone completely blank. I kind of wonder whether it's about not, I think if I maybe use the example, and I'm not sure yet, the example of getting out in nature and getting involved in the veggie garden. It was something that I, you know, try to demonstrate and encourage enormously. And I think when you just start doing it yourself, they then just sort of start... getting out there and showing interest as well. So it's about not expecting it And they've got to want to do it their way. I think one of the most powerful things is giving them options to do it their way rather than our way. And I know as a parent, when I was certainly younger, I used to feel like I had to always demonstrate to them the right way. Oh my gosh, have they shown us that they don't want that? They've got a different right way. They've got a different right way, and they want to do it their way. And this has been that example of allowing them to find it their way, much like we need to find things our way. So when it comes to things in the garden at the moment, and our veggie garden is thriving, which is amazing, and I'm loving it, I've really had to take a step back and not say, have you watered today? Do you think they need to be netted today because the butterflies are out? Does it have enough soil? Just any questions, just step right back and let them discover it for themselves. That way they're empowered by that experience and I'm not the one you know, they're learning to tune into what they like doing and how they like to do it and when they like to do it. So I've just had to zip It's been a big change for you. I mean, because you love to talk and you love to be considerate and you love to ask questions, which is why you were... curious for so long, right? And you do, and you love to be of assistance. I mean, that's sort of part of your love language of being of service. So it's really interesting. And I do think, without talking out of turn, one thing that your daughter said, who I think was a classic people pleaser like all of us, she turned around and she said, I'm doing it my way, mum, or something along those lines. I think she said that to you on numerous occasions. Absolutely. Apart from the jolt of that statement, when you're thinking, oh, you know, all the stories behind is, well, I'm trying to help, this is how I show my love, you know, I'm here with you, how will you know that I'm here with you if I'm not here with you? So all of that stuff behind, like, that's all behind the motivation of you wanting to help was her saying, I got it. I want to experience it. I want to learn from myself. I want to know if this works. So that's a graduate of being de-people pleased because she's now talking to her safest person and saying, I got it. I don't need that. And then you get to trust in that. I mean, that's where I've seen examples of where this being the example in your household has really taken flight. And one thing that I'll just close with as well was we, I mean, I think that we haven't had levels of crises in our family to provide that contrast with the kids. But one thing that did happen was that, some might follow, that our daughter manifested herself an effing horse. And I'm just like, what? You But you were saying that. You were saying, I'm not going to do this. She can Yeah. I send it out to the universe and next thing you know, she gets given a horse and a place to adjust it. Anyway, we're six months down the track and she's turned around and she's gone, actually, I think I'm going to rehome the horse. And I'm like, Huh? Like, aren't you thankful that the universe gifted you a horse? Can't you just be happy with that? And so it was all that stuff. Anyway, I remembered some grace. Thank you. And all I said to her was, because you could see all the emotions, she was a little bit being driven by the emotion of it. And she was, you could see that she was being caught one way than the other. And she was sort of thinking about it rather than actually feeling it. So I said to her go and whole body muscle test because we love whole body muscle testing in our house and so I sent her off and I didn't say anything else right I just literally went go and go and muscle test it and just whatever questions come through ask them and get answers. And what was really interesting was that then she came back and she had the pathway worked out with options A, B, C, D, and E, all available to her. It was like a triaged kind of option list. And she got to own all of that. And so we're in the process of working through the layers of those. But it was only because I remembered not to intervene in her experience. Because I'm like, she manifested this bloody horse. It's not for me to now get involved and so all she really wanted from me and she said this to me Might have been this morning. She just came up and she gave me a hug and she said Thank you for listening for all of this and I was like, well, it's actually a pretty easy gig actually kidding That's all she needed. She literally just and so part of me being the example as you have so beautifully described was I literally need to shut my trap and just let her work it out and the only thing I did was I dropped ideas about how to get her truth out. And that's why I love whole body muscle testing, because my experience is it always shows up the truth. And you'll get an answer, you'll be like, ugh, wasn't expecting that. But And the trickery of the mind is just trying to throw us off, and the programming to be a good girl, and the programming to do a should, and all And the body goes, nah, we're immune to those. And what I love about this, muscle testing is a whole other podcast, really. I just feel like we have the answers inside ourselves and so do our kids. They absolutely do. They know. So that when we demonstrate that we have our own answers, this is the example, when we know that we have the answers inside of ourselves, kids have it too, we just need to give them the space to The vehicle of registration, and then they get to take action. And in fact, when you have the experience of taking action on things like, say, however you register the truth in yourself, and it might be obviously farking or should, Once you take action on that, you realize it's actually safe on the other side. And not only is it safe, but you feel better because the alignment, you feel that in the body, you register it. So there's a lot of power in the fact that it can be quite intoxicating and addictive to start honoring that alignment. It makes it easier. And we just start unpacking the programming that we have been gifted. in this society to keep us compliant and quiet and ticking the community along, you can actually impact in a very profound way. And Yes. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Be the example. Say no a bit more often. Yeah. really They do. And I reckon they're faster at registering that too, because as soon as they go, oh, mum and dad have finally caught up with what I've I know. Oh, good stuff. Lovely. Have you got any final thoughts since this was your baby that you wanted to birth with our Quantifolks? Oh, I just think we're all in this together. I just think we need to remember that You know, our kids are wise, they are knowing, and we need to give them the opportunity to demonstrate that for themselves. And yes, sometimes we need to demonstrate it for them, to show them. what it looks like and to, you know, just, yeah, be that example so that then they can also do it and to empower them, because that's what it's all about. Our kids are so wise. They just need to believe that It's good stuff. So be the example. Trust your instincts. Trust yourself. Embody Hey, Quantifolks. You know, the conversations that we have about alchemising education are underpinned by our amazing Take the Leap course for parents, which is all about de-schooling the parents. If you're keen to deep dive more, then check out the quantummama.com website and find the Take the Leap course. This course is beautiful because it will give you an opportunity to examine where your programs are, where you're creating, limiting beliefs and expectations for your child. And it ultimately frees you to be the best advocate for your child that you can be. And that's all of us can ever want for our children. Just to love, nurture and watch them become the most incredible individuals that we already know them to be. For more info, head