Welcome to MomCave Live where we may have lost our minds, but we have not lost our sense of humor. Im Jen and my guest today is Bethany Braun Silva. Hi, Bethany.
Bethany Braun Silva:Hi. Hows it going?
Jen:Great. I want to give you an intro, but its so hard to say shes been on all the places because she is a parenting and lifestyle expert editor. So Bethany has worked for Parenting.com, Big Apple Parent, and What to Expect. And so she is here to help us with one of the big questions every parent has around Halloween, which is how can we make it not be about just candy?
Bethany Braun Silva:You know, its so funny. Like I even after 10 years of being in this industry, I still kind of cringe when I hear the word expert and my parenting expert, parenting plus expert. It always seems like an oxymoron to me.
Jen:It is. I mean,maybe Im an expert on the digital media side, but with my own kids, no, I dont consider myself an expert. And this is something Im definitely a work in progress, especially around this holiday time struggle with Halloween candy.
Bethany Braun Silva:So this is something that Im like actively, proactively dealing with myself. And I have a few tips that have worked with me, some Ive learned from my mom friends, some non-candy Halloween treat ideas and activities things like that. And really the first one that I want to talk about is this idea of the Switch Witch.
Jen:Right, so OK.
Bethany Braun Silva::And people sometimes call it the Halloween fairy. There are different names. You can Google it-
Jen:I guess for some kids, a witch is just too scary. Well make it a fairy.
Bethany Braun Silva:So this is really a way to kind of incentivize your kids. And I learned this from a neighbor of mine, and I have to tell her that I gave her props right here. So essentially what you do is You dont have to NOT go trick or treating. You can still have fun, trick or treating. You can get all the candy. I know for me it was like a big deal counting. My kids have to count it and tally up all the pieces. Right. So you dont have to eliminate that because that is really fun. And we dont want to take everything away or just this year. Right. So do all of that at the end of the night, lay all the pieces out on a table and tell your kids if theyre younger, that, you know, the Switch Witch is going to come to take this candy and give them a non-candy Halloween treat, a little gift, a little toy. Almost like, oh, you would do with the tooth fairy. Right. And so if theyre young enough to believe this and they get excited and the idea is like, well, this candy is going to disappear inevitably. Lets think of a toy you might like or you can even do a request for an experience, you know. So something like that. At night, you remove all the candy and then Switch Witch gives them a little gift. You can get as creative as you want with a little note. You know, it really varies depending on what your bandwidth is, your parenting bandwidth. But I like this because it still allows my kids to enjoy all the trick-or-treating things. And then but then it eliminates a lot of that sugar.
Jen:Thats a great idea. What I did the last time I did that was I took all of the candy. I then fished through it after they were in bwed and removed all Reeses products, kept those for myself, and threw the rest out. Then I had to hide the Reeses.
Bethany Braun Silva:Right.
Jen:Because we can deal with a sugar rush. Were grown-ups. But when the kids get the sugar rush disaster ensues.
Bethany Braun Silva:Yeah.
Jen:So with the Switch Witch, theres a book and a doll, too, that you can get with Switch Witch. We did a giveaway of that once.
Bethany Braun Silva:So check it out.
Jen:So let me ask you- in your house, when its not Halloween, how bad are you about desserts and all that? Because Im bad.
Bethany Braun Silva:You know, I recently felt like it was getting out of control. I think we all kind of struggle with this as moms, as parents. Like sometimes we feel like our lives are out of control. And I certainly felt that way around sugar. Now, disclosure, Im a diabetic. I was a diabetic. I was diagnosed as a teenager.
Jen:So its like extra sensitive.
Bethany Braun Silva:Yeah, somewhat triggering for me to see my kids eat loads of sugar all the time are you know, or even like once in a while. So what I did was I. It really I guess it depends on your kid. So desserts We try to stay away from that bribing like if you eat your dinner, you get a dessert. You know, what I was finding was I can set boundaries and rules in my own house, but where I was really getting the anxiety over lack of control was in other scenarios, even with my own parents.
Jen:Yes, the grandparents! Bethany Braun Silva: I mean. Yes. I grew up here. I mean, I wasnt raised ike this. Its like they short circuit when it comes to being a grandma. Totally.
Bethany Braun Silva:Its very different than when we were kids.
Jen:My mom moved into a new house recently and she got one of those signs you get at like HomeGoods and it says, Grandparents Rules. And one of the rules says something about you can have whatever treats you want any time. And my children were at a recent visit. And they took that sign very literally! Like every time I said, No, you cant have an ice cream cone five minutes before dinner, they point to this. Oh, no, its a rule here.
Bethany Braun Silva:And I have the same thing with the ice cream cones, the mini ice cream cones. My kids go over to my parents and eat five ice cream cones in a row. My mother went through the trauma of my diabetes diagnosis with me. So what is she thinking? I dont know. So what Ive actually been doing with to kind of curb these things-And again, this works with my own kids- is that I know theres lots of information on Instagram, TikTok, and videos. What I like that is that I actually find its digestible for them to see. So to understand the effects of sugar on the brain. I think his name is Dr. Abel. So its just seeing like what sugar does? And again, his videos arent necessarily tailored for kids, but the way he describes it, my kids are able to understand it in some capacity. So I think with a lot of things with parenting and this is just from my own research, my own experiences, like when we give kids like the choice, when we give them the autonomy to like and the knowledge like we arm them with the knowledge they can make their own choices. I think that oftentimes theyll be you know, they will make the right choice.
Jen:We hope. We hope. Sure. I would try to give them that opportunity. What is another thing we can do for Halloween to kind of keep it away from the sugar, to find more non-candy Halloween treats and fun?
Bethany Braun Silva:Yeah, I mean, you can also do tons of crafts. We were at a Halloween party, actually, a Halloween party thingy, a fall festival thing. And then you make it about the crafts. Like we painted these pumpkins here. We made different masks. And one of my favorite crafts is this ghost sheet that you can do with cotton balls or tissue paper. And then you essentially just you know, its just its so easy to do. Ill drop a link in Facebook tonight to that craft. But I think if you can incorporate as many crafts and fun activities and also, you know, if youre not crafty, head over to the Dollar Store. Get some little goody bag favor things. You know, finger puppets, temporary tattoos My kids love that because, to be honest, Im not super crafty. So I rely on these affordable little knickknack things to keep my kids entertained and busy and feeling really festive around the holidays. I mean, I love a good craft once in a while, but Im not a Pinterest mom.
Jen:No, no. In fact, when I started MomCave, one of the taglines was, The ANTI Pinterest of Parenthood.
Bethany Braun Silva:There you go. Yeah, I cant live up. If youre just joining us, we would love to hear your comments about things that you might do that help out with this, or if you have questions and were going to choose the best comment to get a prize. Tell them about their prize. Oh, its a good one. So well be providing a gift basket, a compilation of gifts from Safe and Fair, which is actually what I wanted to talk about it because they are amazing. They do popcorn, granola, and its all flavored like key lime popcorn, chocolate popcorn, and its all organic, you know, it doesnt have all that crap that you dont want your kids to eat it. Still tastes delicious. I can down a whole bag of their strawberry shortcake popcorn in one sitting. It makes a great non-candy Halloween treat! So well be giving away Safe and Fairfoods. And then Aloysia Marie Facemasks, which I thought was kind of fitting for Halloween.
Jen:You know, if youre to look a little bit like a mom-bie. Right. And have like your face mask and your curlers on.
Bethany Braun Silva:It never fails. Ill put it on thinking my kids are totally occupied with Legos or something, and Ill put it on for 10 minutes. And then they walk in and it freaks them out. And Im like, well, this is part of my self-care story.
Jen:Yeah. Do you know if theyre little? Maybe theyre scarred for life, but if theyre older, its a good laugh you can all have together.
Bethany Braun Silva:Right. And they do. They look pretty gnarly. Ill admit. They look great.
Jen:Well, sugar can kill your skin. So, you know, Im saying all this, people listening and Im not. Im the worst at this. Im like the absolute worst. I eat sugar every day and am giving my kids dessert every day after dinner. I never should have started that. And I know its just a question of like cutting it off and being like, thats not our rule anymore. But yeah, I havent been able to have the self-control to do that.
Bethany Braun Silva:Well, Jen, what we do, and this is actually something weve just discovered My six year old came to me and was like, we got to do Sundae Mondays! Like ice cream sundaes, you know, like Taco Tuesdays and Sundae Monday. So this is the day we go all out. We do ice cream, chocolate, you know, chocolate sauce, that whipped cream, all of it on Mondays. And this is our day to look forward to dessert. And, of course, you know, the weekends, you know, things are good, you know, but during the week after dinner, we keep it to like a Greek yogurt or something else or fruit with whipped cream. But Sundae Mondays are big day to splurge. So, they just love the idea of that. So, I mean, thats just one suggestion for you guys like to make one day and make it an event for dessert. And then if they ask for dessert, theyll remember. Okay, well, lets add it to Sundae Mondays or whatever dessert. Right? I dont know- whatever you want to call it.
Jen:Thats great. Whatever can work for you. Are you going trick or treating this year?
Bethany Braun Silva:We are. So were doing a family gathering, a family trip to actually were going to Salem. This is like a kind of like a bucket list thing. I know its still not an ideal time to travel. But we are driving and were going to take all the precautions. And were super excited because my mom and dad are coming. Theyll be dressing up. My sister-in-law, my kids, like we have epic costumes. And this is something that Ive wanted for so long, like to dress in theme. And Ill just say lots of 70s rock stars are involved. And Im over the moon about it.
Jen:Thats so fun. Yeah. I kind of love the part about Halloween when I get to dress up. And I know like half of the parents are judging me, like what is with that woman? But the other half are wishing that they also dressed as Elsa last year. Was that last or not? Last year was the fairy godmother and my daughter was Cinderella. And then the year before, we are Anna and Elsa. I mean, when else can a grown woman put on a blond wig and get all princess-ed up? So I dont know. We have no plan for this year yet, though, so I got to go.
Bethany Braun Silva:I know its been obviously its been a rough few months, to say the least. So I wanted to do something special, get out of our neighborhood. We live in New York City, which is has challenges in and of itself. So were excited to just get out of town for a little bit. Head up north and just have a really great weekend. But I will say, speaking about your comment about moms dressing up, I know this is a perfect excuse to kind of embrace the fun, forget know your ego, just go totally all out and-
Jen:-the kids will remember it. Youre making a memory even if you totally humiliate them or they say you are, they will remember the time that you dressed up as whatever? Theyll remember it.
Bethany Braun Silva:Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
Jen:And so thats a good tip of making a trip or even if its just a different neighborhood that you dont usually go to. Going somewhere else to make it special, to make it again, not all about, How much Candy can I get? How quickly?
Bethany Braun Silva:Yeah. And just also, we love to drive around for, you know, look at Christmas lights, Christmas decorations. And I dont know, in the last few years, people are really going all out with their Halloween. We have great big blowups even here in New York City, like well drive around, you know. We live in Manhattan, but in the outer boroughs. And if youre familiar with, we drive around to Queens and Brooklyn and they have some of the craziest places. And its not in this suburban environment. Its still in an urban environment. So crazy how creative people can get. And Im just that mom thats like, Look, guys! Look! We get super excited. We make all my kids love it, you know, just swatting dragons and ghosts and like the craziest things.
Jen:That is that is a great tip. And that reminds me. So I think it was last year because of Covid and everyone was being so careful near where I lived. We decided not to walk from house to house, but we kind of drove from house to house and we spaced out the houses. Hoping to make it more of a non-candy Halloween treat like a tour. So the kids dont know how many houses were going to and they dont have any sense of direction. So we just felt like, oh, that house on that street has a ton of Halloween decorations. Well drive over there. But then its going to take five minutes to drive to the next house. And so it became like a tour, the candy tour, culminating stopping at the grandparents and taking pictures so that it became an event and there was less of an opportunity for candy.
Bethany Braun Silva:And also something that Im really looking forward to that I only heard about for the first time last year, having to do with the car and Halloween are haunted carwashes! Have you heard of these?
Jen:No, but it sounds amazing and fun.
Bethany Braun Silva:I mean, kids already love to drive through a car wash or something about the excitement of the soap and the everythings electric. But we heard about these haunted car washes. We didnt get a chance to do it this year. So Im determined to find an awesome one this year and do that with my kids. We might have to drive through twice. I dont know.
Jen:You can get all your familys cars washed. You can take your car and take your husbands and take your mothers and everyones cars. This is great. These are some really good ideas. What about creating your own haunted house?
Bethany Braun Silva:Yes, its a good one.
Jen:Not during Covid. I guess you cant really have people traipsing through your house. But I have seen people do their back yard. So you walk into their backyard and its all decorated and its haunted. And to give the kids something that theyve created and theyre giving to others, as opposed to just grabbing the candy as much as they can get.
Bethany Braun Silva:Yeah, I do like that idea thats behind it, incorporated that a little bit. Last year, we didnt go trick or treating. We were looking for Covid-safe non-candy Halloween treats and fun. Last year, we had a small group of people over to our house. And right before we went over to Walmart and we bought a little smoke machine. So I think thats why we try to make it special for our kids. And youre right for our guests, they make it about helping, you know, making it a fun event for other people. I do love that idea.I dont know if well do that again. But, yeah, it was great to do each idea every year right up. And every year is different.
Jen:These are some great ideas. Bethany, what was your favorite Halloween costume ever?
Bethany Braun Silva:Oh, my gosh. You know, my mother can sew and she would be you know, she I would have to sew something that she threw together when I was, you know, four or five, six. I think I was consecutively like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and they were all costumes that she cut from gorgeous patterns. So I wish I had a picture to throw for you know, I should have prepped this with photos to show everyone. But I would have to say probably Snow White when I think back. The details of this costume that my motherand I have absolutely no no skills like I, I order costumes onlineBut she can sew. I have to say, one of those Disney princesses is definitely my favorite. But, you know, you get like a few years with your own kids or you can dress them and whatever you whatever you want before they start to-
Jen:I know I miss those days
Bethany Braun Silva:-have their own ideas. I know, my mother made a full Hobbit costume for my first son when he was two years old. So he went as Frodo. He had a cape and it was again, all homemade, handmade by her. That was really, really special. And he had this curly Hobbit hair and it was so cute. It was so. So I think that might actually trump anything that I did.
Jen:That was so sweet. You know, we have a group on here on Facebook called The Mom Cave, and we should all go in there and put some of our photos of these costumes and share with each other, because we all love to do that. And I would like to see everybody elses.
Bethany Braun Silva:Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Jen:Do you have a final tip for us before we sign off and get into this whole Halloween season?
Bethany Braun Silva:You know, it is it can be hard and it has been especially hard because, you know, this last Halloween, Covid, all of that. But I think, you know, like anything, if youre doing if youre experiencing something together as a family, I think you can always double down on the fun that way. And everything that I said about the non-candy Halloween treats. If your kids if it means something to them in the moment, if theyre feeling like maybe like deprived. Go ahead. Like, you know, you really dont have to, you know, give them nothing. There are no hard and fast rules in parenting. I think this group probably knows that better than better than anyone. So, you know, got to do what feels right for you. I love to make it about together time and making memories of being silly. But if my kids are upset because like they want this piece of candy, of course I will give it. And so, you know, just follow your gut. Its one night out of the year. So, yes, a little sugar isnt gonna kill them. But we will do our best to make sure we dont get them all sugared up and turn them into sugar monsters, as we say in my house. So we try for NON-candy Halloween treats for sure.
Jen:Thank you so much for all these great ideas. Were going to continue to share these non-candy Halloween treats and activites with everybody and were going to put some info in the comments. And thank you for sharing with us on the Instagram. Bethany, tell everyone as we sign off where they can find you online.
Bethany Braun Silver:So you can find me at @BethanyBraunSilva on Instagram or you can go over to my website, BethanyBraun.com. Im really Im pretty easy to find, but Instagram is the best way to reach me.
Jen:Right. And I am @MomCaveTV on all of the things. OK. Happy almost Halloween, everybody. Heres hoping we all make it through with no sugar meltdowns and a ton of fun! Thanks, Bethany.