MomCave LIVE

How To Use Stress To Improve Your Life | With Dr. Dravon | MomCave LIVE

• Jennifer Weedon MomCave and Dr. Dravon

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In this insightful MomCave LIVE, Dr. Dravon James, a renowned expert in stress management, joins host Jen to explore the transformative power of embracing stress. Dr. Dravon, a multifaceted individual with a diverse background, offers practical advice on how to turn stress into a friend rather than an adversary.

Jen and Dr. Dravon discuss the unique stress experienced by parents, particularly mothers, who often feel an overwhelming responsibility for their children's future. Dr. Dravon emphasizes the need to stay calm and avoid succumbing to the pressure of societal expectations and well-meaning advice. By reframing stress as a natural part of life's journey, parents can find balance and fulfillment.

Join Dr. Dravon and Jen to discover how you can transform stress into a positive force, ultimately leading to a more meaningful and satisfying life.

Visit Dr. Dravon's site to learn more: https://drdravonjames.com/

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Transcript:
Jen:   Welcome to MomCave LIVE, where we may have lost our minds, but we haven't lost our senses of humor. I'm Jen, and our guest tonight is one that is near and dear to something we all need help with. We've got Dr. Dravon James. Hi, how are you?

Dr. Dravon:   I am so good. I'm so excited to be here with you and your audience today.

Jen:  We are excited to learn from you and your wisdom. So you guys, if you don't know Dr. Dravon, she is, I would say, almost a jack of all trades in a way. I mean, a doctor who also is a radio host, a coach life coach. You have founded The Next Step Leadership Academy. And she was even an actress. So this woman is well-rounded and has done a lot. And I was told that you are an expert on stress.

Dr. Dravon:    You know, well, if experiencing a lot of it makes you an expert? Yes, I am an expert. .......

Read More Here:  www.momcavetv.com/how-to-use-stress-to-improve-your-life-momcave-live-with-dr-dravon/

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Welcome to MomCave LIVE where we may have lost our minds, but we haven't lost our senses of humor. I'm Jen. And our guest tonight is one that is near and dear to something we all need help. We've got Dr. Dravon James. Hi, how are you?

Dr. Dravon:

I am so good. I'm so excited to be here with you and your audience today.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

We are excited to learn from you and your wisdom. So you guys, if you don't know Dr. Dravon, she is I would say, almost a jack of all trades. And in a way I mean, a doctor who also is a radio host a coach life coach. You are you found it The Next Step Leadership Academy, and she was even an actress. So this woman is well rounded, has done a lot. And I was told that you are an expert on stress.

Dr. Dravon:

You know, what if if experiencing a lot of it makes you an expert? Yes, I am, an expert. I think what I am an expert on really is how to use stress. I've had so much of it. And I think we try everything right? We tried to avoid it never works, right. And so I just really realized to embrace it, it was going to be part of my journey. And we were talking before the show that I have a 23 year old, a 20 year old. So in the midst of everything else I was doing professionally, and it just has been a stressful journey. And I just learned how to embrace stress, make it my friend and not my enemy.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Wow. Okay, so I definitely want to get into that. So um everyone here, the mom cavers, as we call them, we've got mums of all different ages. So we have brand new moms who are experiencing that stress that we know so well. And then we've got moms of teens and tweens and, and experiencing that, in fact, every stage of motherhood, you know, everyone is like, Oh, wait till they get to that stage.

Dr. Dravon:

So encouraging was so encouraging.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

We know nobody would ever have children if we listened to our friends, because everybody has something to say, um, but stress, I think is a huge part of it, just because you've got so much more going on. Right? And so many more things to be responsible for. What do you think about parenthood that makes it uniquely stressful?

Dr. Dravon:

Well, I think from a mom perspective and profit from a dad's perspective to it is the only time in your entire life that you walk around, as they say, what your heart outside of your body, right. So, you know, you could and I probably could soldier up against anything, but when it comes to our kid, we are so sensitive, and we don't have the control that we thought we would have. Right? You know, at some points, they you know, the whole world has a bigger voice for whatever reason, it seems as though and we're so that is the time I think there were so conscious of the future. And we tend to believe that every little thing is going to have this huge impact on the future. And we can't control every little thing, and we definitely can't control the future. So that is just stress right there. Yeah.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, we think if we don't get the kid to go to the right daycare, then they won't go to the right preschool anymore, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then they're not gonna get into an Ivy League college. I mean, people we just, we just, it's like a momentum of stress. I feel like we think so far ahead.

Dr. Dravon:

We do we think and I just wanted to tell you this really funny story. My daughter was in the first grade and she was struggling. And the teacher told my husband and I he said, Well, you know, she's, she's really doing a poor job. And, you know, we're thinking that she may have some issues and you haven't listened to all this. And I said, in the first grade, you think you can determine all of that, that's interesting. And you're outside I appeared very competence. I you know, I was so nervous. I went home, I was reading everything. And fast forward. She's 23 years old. 4.0 in an MBA program, no issue. And I tell people all the time, now it's, you know, take everything with a grain of salt. Everybody means well, but you being calm and just knowing that think this too, will pass. Don't Don't stress over everything. Everybody who's an expert is just not really an expert. They mean though, they're just not an expert on your kid.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

So true. If anybody watching has some questions for Dr. Dravon about how to manage stress or anything like that, just pop them in the comments. We'll keep an eye there. That reminds me of the only advice I ever feel confident to give to new parents is that it's like this too will pass whatever they You're obsessing about in this moment seems so very important. And then like once, if you just wait it out, it's gonna go away. And then a new thing will pop up and you can obsess. The new thing,

Dr. Dravon:

oh my goodness, it is a roller coaster, right. And so you start to embrace that the waves, right? The highs, the lows, the anxiety, and you start to realize that through all of this, and I had a lot of it, I was high risk pregnancy. So I started there with both children, and you know, just everything one thing after another. And what I would always come back to and I life coach, this too, is I would always come back to what am I grateful for in this experience, and I would look at those little faces, and I will be so I've been all the fact that, oh, my goodness, you got here you got here.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

It's so true. And I always felt like it made the stress of new motherhood was easier for me, I think, because I waited longer to have kids in life. And then when I was ready, it took a while. And there were some losses and things along the way. So that when I was feeling that, like, Oh, my God, what's going on, if I could just step back and be like, if I could go to my past self, and say, you have this healthy, wonderful little thing right here. The thing might be screaming and tantruming and driving you crazy at the moment. But like the miracle that you have this

Dr. Dravon:

You know, we share that journey I was later in life child, and had a lot of losses. And so I would always come back to that point that, you know, this was something that may Doctor something would never happen. And it happened twice. So how amazing is that? And so that would calm me down. And there was you know, oh my gosh, I think, you know, I often say, Well, if I had done it younger when they had all these risks, but I did do it later. And I did have all that appreciation even now I look and think to myself WOW, you know?

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Well, it sounds like they turned out pretty good so far. So that's good news. Um, you were telling me before we went live about, I wrote down the name of The Leaders in High Heels, which tell everybody what that is.

Dr. Dravon:

Yeah, so in my life coaching journey, and I coached both men and women. But what I noticed a lot about my women clients over the years is this sort of not good enough syndrome, right. And this was everything. You know, we talked about parenting, we talked about taking care of their aging parents or just caring for themselves or getting to the next level in their career or business. And it was always this underlying, not good enough, or when this happens. And so it inspired me to dig deep and start doing a lot of research on just what we how we are wired as women, and how I can be of use as a life coach. And that's what led me to go Leaders in High Heels, which means that you can be trying to lead yourself, your family, your community, your career, just moving to that point where you see yourself and value yourself as a leader and understand the skill sets that leaders have that make them run multimillion dollar companies made them start, you know, non non credit and private nonprofit organizations just in realize that you had that in you and you don't really need to change a whole bunch to tap into that and do what you really want to do in your passion.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

It's great you guys watching. If there is something that you dream about doing, but you're afraid or you have that not good enough syndrome, share it with us, we would like no talk about it. I mean, we all we all have those things. What are some kind of like day to day things that you do to manage stress?

Dr. Dravon:

Oh, I love talking about this. First thing I want to tell you is that stress is sneaky. I tell people it's like a computer virus, right? It's but things are happening in the background. And if you let it go unchecked, it will take over your system, right? So one of the first things I do is I do body scans all day long. I check in with myself and ask us How are you feeling? And I wait. I wait and I just start paying attention from the soles of my feet to the crown of my head, start paying attention. Is there any tension there? You know, usually for me, it's in my belly area, my gut, no surprise there for a lot of women. And I just stop and ask what is that? What do you feel in there? And I wait for an answer. Sometimes it's a small whisper. I'm scared about this. I'm scared about that. And you will be amazed at how quickly we start to internalize and chastise ourselves for being afraid and I don't do that. I give myself permission to feel all of that. And then we're all moms who will get this part. I start to mother myself. Oh, interesting. I started to tell you're okay, this will pass. You know I understand how you could feel that way. And I just watched the stress just like I would do with my kids with it. Till your middle school was those years for me? And I really became a really seasoned mom, I think during that period, realizing, okay, this is not a moment to yell or to question, this is a moment too soothe. And I apply, I apply that to myself. So that's one of the major things, the first steps I give people is check in, don't let the stress mount if you can catch it before it mounts. And you can start to Mother yourself. Think of how you would Mother, your children, Mother yourself just that way. Right? Oh, wow. Yeah, catch it before it starts. But if you don't catch it before it starts, there are some things that you can do in self awareness is important. When you start to notice what are those things that we do? Our voice starts to go up, right? We start to feel I'll give you you know, we start to feel hot and warm and impatient. Start to drop those symptoms. Ask yourself, okay, why am I yelling? And you'll yell right back, because listen to that, listen to that, and speak to that mother, that mother, that instinct says, Okay, I understand how you could feel that way. No criticism, always accepting yourself in that moment, will do wonders is called. And when I coach I call it the light of awareness. Being aware of it in that moment, and accepting it without criticism, will cause it to dissipate.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

That's very interesting, because that's counterintuitive to me. And maybe that's why I'm always so stressed. Because sometimes I feel like I have this, this feeling of stress and overwhelm. And I'm like, if I, if I follow where it came from, then I'm going to get more caught up more involved in it. So I tried to say, no, no, no, I'm not going to do that. And then I guess that just makes it worse.

Dr. Dravon:

So we put up that wall of resistance, right? When we whatever we resist straight, we're not really good drawing more of that energy to us. And I, I moved towards I call it leaning in, I lean right into it, and what's going on here. And I can feel my inside yelling back at me, you know, this is what's happening. So I understand. I see how you can see it that way. Yep. You said that 10,000 times I get it. And all of a sudden, because there are parts of our ego parts of our mind that just want to be heard.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

This is getting into some deep psychology here.

Dr. Dravon:

We just want to be heard. You know, no one's listening. Right, including ourselves, because we're telling ourselves power through power group.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

I don't have time to think about that. Right? Yeah.

Dr. Dravon:

Giving us and this doesn't take long once you stopped say hey whats going on the ans And the more often that you do the answers come quicker, you start to settle down. Okay. All right. I got this.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Okay, I'm gonna give it a try. Else well, too. Um, I the last thing I wanted to talk about is this since, I was talking to some friends about this. So it seems to be a universal thing of like, not being able to relax, ever. Because we feel like the moment we do, we're slacking on something. And there's always something else to do. And life is so short and the day is so short, and the kids need us and blah, blah, blah, so that we never actually just relax.

Dr. Dravon:

What's a good way to relax? And I think we all go through that as moms right? And as you know, women in general, right. But understanding your priority, like having your mission statement for your for you write a mission, and ask yourself, how important is it in my mission? That the dishes be done? Right? What is that clean house? We all love it. But it, Is it more important than family time? Right? Is it more important than self care? The best thing you can do for your children and your spouse is take care of yourself because you're more patient, you show up like you want to show up. Right? Right. So asking it's different for all of us. I mean, for some women, they would say I can't function without a clean house. Okay, great. So that becomes part of your mission, you know, whatever that is right. But then realize that everything can't make the top five. And that's being an executive over your life. You are the CEO of your life, the CFO of your life, you are the chief, everything you life. So that means that you have to understand that I got a top five, top five, not for the day. For this hour. I'm not going to be able to get all that done. And in that top five must you have to have some me time on so that you can stay top notch for those who are depending on you.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

So true. So true. I know. It feels like a cliche sometimes to say it but if You if mom's not feeling good, the house isn't gonna go good, the family's not gonna go good but nothing's gonna run well with a mom who's losing our crap.

Dr. Dravon:

If even if quiet it is our emotions, it's in our face. You know, Maya Angelou said that if you pay attention to children, when they come in, the first thing they do when they come in the house is their mom is there, they want to look at their mom's face. And they react to that. It's important, that is so important. And while we're not Stepford women, we're not always going to be in a great mood, but we want to be given the best of ourselves, whatever that is, some days, 10 is the best week. Some days a two is the best we could do. Whatever it is, we want to be given the best that we can in that moment.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

That's so true. Thank you so much for exploring all of this with me, you guys. You have got to go check out Dr. Dravon james.com. Is that they? That's the website? Yes. Yes. There's so many things there that will help you and Dr. Dravon can help you in many, many ways. But let's continue this conversation. You know, MomCave was a place for us to all try to relax and try not to be stressed. Because the stress is going to be there no matter what, that's life. But we're going to just keep doing our best to, to lean into it. So thank you so much. And here's to a stress free evening for everybody. Yes,

Dr. Dravon:

that is stress free evening for all of us, right. I'm

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

going to leave this laundry right here. And I'm going to go upstairs where it's even more of a mess and I'm gonna have dinner with my family now. So you've given me permission. Thank you guys. Thank thanks for watching.