Dr. Tomi Mitchell, the Host of The Mental Health & Wellness Show, had the pleasure of introducing Daushae Preciado, MSW (and future LCSW) works with men and women in Los Angeles, California. She is currently working towards becoming an LCSW. She has three years of working in mental health fields as a substance abuse therapist, as well as she has worked with the community to serve clients with anxiety, depression, domestic violence, and other traumatic experiences.
A key takeaway is that listeners need to be informed on all their options, and know when its time to leave a relationship, plus get support.
Check out this free 90-second Personality Test:
https://thecurrentreport.com/what-is-it-going-to-take/?fbclid=IwAR0cQuSrqyU7eySYxNWRoo39zuV3c0MrepeOiNr03Hcm45v4nWVDOTEjyEg
Contact Information
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/shifting_mind_n_thoughts/?hl=en
Website
https://www.shiftingmindandthoughts.com/
Dr. Tomi Mitchell, the Host of The Mental Health & Wellness Show, had the pleasure of introducing Daushae Preciado, MSW (and future LCSW) works with men and women in Los Angeles, California. She is currently working towards becoming an LCSW. She has three years of working in mental health fields as a substance abuse therapist, as well as she has worked with the community to serve clients with anxiety, depression, domestic violence, and other traumatic experiences.
A key takeaway is that listeners need to be informed on all their options, and know when its time to leave a relationship, plus get support.
Check out this free 90-second Personality Test:
https://thecurrentreport.com/what-is-it-going-to-take/?fbclid=IwAR0cQuSrqyU7eySYxNWRoo39zuV3c0MrepeOiNr03Hcm45v4nWVDOTEjyEg
Contact Information
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/shifting_mind_n_thoughts/?hl=en
Website
https://www.shiftingmindandthoughts.com/
SPEAKERS
Daushae Preciado, Dr. Tomi Mitchell
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 00:00
Hello everyone, this is your host Dr. Tomi Mitchell from the Mental Health and Wellness Show. Today I have the honor of talking with a woman who I consider a friend and a like minded individual. Her name is Daushae Preciado, has a Masters of Social Work, and works with men and women in Los Angeles, California. She is currently working towards becoming an LCSW. She has three years working in the mental health field as a substance abuse therapist, as well as worked with communities to serve clients with anxiety, depression, domestic violence and other traumatic experiences. Her experience as a mental health professional has helped to transform into a successful coaching program to help women help themselves. She helps women to understand their value their worth and purpose by guiding them to live their best life. Daushae wrote for the vegan magazine called veggie YQ, and contributes to a book review for the voice matters by Damian K Row. She earned her undergrad degree at Mount St. Mary's University in LA California, and her graduate degree at Walden University online. She is a certified clinical trauma professional to help adults process traumatic events. And once Shae receives her license, her goal is to open a private practice to continue to serve both men and women seeking to change their lives. She runs a successful Instagram account where she shares helpful tips Q and A's and information on Mental Health and Wellness. Okay, so here we go Daushae, welcome.
Daushae Preciado 01:51
Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 01:53
Thank you. So really, let's let's get right to it. So what sparked your interest in mental health?
Daushae Preciado 02:02
I've always had a service heart since I was a kid. I remember when I was five years old, I wanted to become a veterinarian. And then later on, I found out that animals die, and I didn't they don't make a lot of money. So like, Okay, so after nursing, so figured out that I'm okay with basic math, but other types of, you know, subjects that requires a lot of chemical and biological focus, it means we didn't get along. So I kind of scrapped that. I fell in love with the anatomy of the brain when I was in my sophomore junior year. And that interest, and that took off because I had no idea how much the brain can absorb, how it's connected to the mind to our body, and just the effects that the brain can really just do overall. So it's such a fascinating organ. And, you know, fast forward. I started my family early, and I had no idea that, you know, the field of mental health and behavioral health was still in its somewhat hazy days due to the fact that there was just a lot of just a lot of negativity going on. And a couple of my colleagues back then in my undergraduate and graduate year, they were really going into social work. So when I thought of social work, I'm thinking, Oh, I'm going to be working for CPS with just children protective services. So that was my first introduction to social work. And, you know, fast forward 10 years later, I found out that no social workers don't work in children protective services, they also advocate for members in the community, the government, federal and state, they do private practice, they work alongside other individuals that can do group, individual, and there's so many things that social workers can do. What really sparked my passion for social work is that I love to travel. So I could work in the state of Canada, I can work in the UK, I could work in Australia as a social worker and to provide the same sort of the same services I was taught and my graduate degree to other you know, third countries in that easily took my my love for social work, which is what I'm currently doing right now.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 04:55
Okay, so it's good. You really have to go through a few options before you found your love, and you mentioned that you had kids early, how did that impact your work?
Daushae Preciado 05:05
It really made a lot of life changing moments for me as a mom. And I really had to learn what sacrifice was, I started having my first child at 19. And I was in a domestic violence situation so in relationship for six and a half years. So that really changed my life, and really gave me the ability to work with a lot of women with past trauma and past domestic violence, because I myself am a survivor. For years, I never talked about it, because it was frowned upon growing up, and I would see in other shows, talk shows about, you know, being, you know, being aware of, but having still this negative stigma. So, being a part of that, I felt a lot of shame. But over the years getting therapy and working with other colleagues and doing advocacy, it really helped me as a social worker to understand the other side, because not only women go through this, but also men, which was also a shock to me. So I really feel strongly about helping the community of men and women going through domestic violence. And it really taught me a lot of how I empower myself and my, my two girls. And so, which is why, you know, when I do my coaching program, it I really want to provide that sense of empowerment, for women to be able to think more highly of themselves and feel like they're on subject or, or something that they're not feel like their work with actually really have a lot to offer.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 06:57
Wow Daushae thank you for sharing that. And, you know, I'm, I'm sad that she went through it, but at the same time, I know, my story, in some ways mirrors that I've definitely had my share in the past have previous very unhealthy abusive relationship. I one of my paradigms is that everything happens for us, not to us. But those experiences happen to you for you to learn. And now, you can be a great advocate for other men and women going through similar challenges. So I'm very proud that you can acknowledge that and there's nothing to be ashamed of. Because you're not alone.
Daushae Preciado 07:34
Thank you. Yeah, for years, I thought that, you know, I was the only one that, I had to really put my own personal feelings and thoughts aside to raise my daughter, because, you know, being in a very, the side effects of domestic violence is definitely an ugly one because you're on survivor. And so, my, during my, in my clinical experience by teach women how to go off from being a survivor to a, just a some of a woman that is a triumph, right?
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 08:13
Yes.
Daushae Preciado 08:14
And so I teach them skills of becoming more self aware, looking at the red flags, being able to understand what those red flags are, and a lot of coping skills such as talk, positive affirmations, going into groups having a very good strong support system, being able to understand themselves physically why so I teach a lot of BPI, which is body positive, body positive image exercises and be able to understand that, you know, their quirks and their imperfections, make them who they are, they're going to bring out their inner beauty, which is I know, it's kind of a spoiler, but that's something that I'm going to be including an ebook of mine coming up in the next couple of months. So that even more research on that,
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 09:08
Yeah, that's really good, because this topic of body positivity comes up a lot. And, you know, back to the original point you made about domestic violence and the mental health. So what common threads do you see in these women or men, men that come to you for help? Or who've experienced this? Like, what kind of mental impact are you seeing?
Daushae Preciado 09:33
It's the well first, it's the codependency that they feel like they have to be with the body they have to have this they have to because it was just ripped out from them. And they were called on, they were manipulated throughout the whole time. Another is the financial dependency, meaning that they don't have the right income. You're not making them Now, and the whole power struggle. Lastly is the isolation partisans, which is that they feel like, I'm the only one that you depend on nobody else. Everybody is a threat, I'm your safety thing. That creates a lot of manipulative and a lot of self damaging behaviors, which therefore damages the person's self ability and self agency to be able to make proper decisions for themselves to determine what is right. In their own personalized.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 10:38
Yeah, you mentioned some really good points. And that brings me back to the topic of the power and control wheel. So for those who are in a, you know, a domestic violence situation, so you definitely mentioned that financial economic abuse. So when an individual doesn't have them a means to take care of themselves independently, they are more likely to be under control of this abuser, correct?
Daushae Preciado 11:03
Correct.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 11:04
Yeah.
Daushae Preciado 11:05
And a lot of times, the abuser themselves were a victim of some type of traumatic childhood experience.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 11:13
Yes and that is a very good point. So the abuser learned those behaviors likely from somewhere in his childhood experience. Right? So what would you say to the individuals who have children, and you know, they're witnessing their parents in this very toxic situation?
Daushae Preciado 11:37
Well, first, I would definitely encourage the parent to really see definitely individual counseling at first, lastly, second sorry, the couple themselves would need to really sit down and communicate with their children, and let them know that this behavior, what, between you know the two, the two individuals is not acceptable. And that if the child is under a severe impact, and both parents fighting, that whether it's physical or verbally, they really need to address that from the very beginning. Because that can turn into years and years from and learn behavior, because children are, you know, they're sponges.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 12:25
Yes.
Daushae Preciado 12:25
They like to learn, by example, whether we like it or not, they do. And, and so it's really important to set the foundation to understand what is acceptable behavior, and what is not acceptable behavior by simply communicating and modeling behavior. And lastly, if the, if the situation continues to happen, then it's time for both people to depart. You know, it's going to be hard for the child, but they have to do with the best of the child's interests.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 12:59
Yes, and, you know, sadly, but true, sometimes it is in the best interest of the child for the parents not to be together, as much as we'd like to encourage family staying together.
Daushae Preciado 13:09
Correct. Yeah. And it's definitely super important to address those deep seated traumatic events from both parents. And if the child exhibiting some type of abnormal behavior, definitely reach out to a licensed psychologist, psychologist or psychotherapist to be able to address those issues with child.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 13:35
Very good. Wow, that's, that's really good. You know, when an individual has gone through an abusive relationship, we often find like antidotly, that they go into another and for other impacts on mental health. Can you tell me about that?
Daushae Preciado 13:52
Oh, my gosh, I really want to touch bases on this because during the pandemic, we saw a huge rise in domestic violence.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 14:01
Yes.
Daushae Preciado 14:04
At my agency, where I work at in the state of California and Los Angeles, we've had a total of anywhere between 30 to 45 referrals for domestic violence. And that was a big thing for us, just because a lot of it the majority tie into a lot of what we have is the Department of Children and Family Services. And so that ties into a lot of that as well. And secondly, part of the referral was self referrals. So clients will come in to our agency and ask them services. And also we saw a rise in shelters, the request for for individuals to see safety, which was a definitely a huge impact on our community as well. And with that, it does happen a lot. I mean, sometimes these signs are so are so well hidden that not even the spouse or the partner per se, never really got to see this side of them this because it was so well hidden. Although you're, it's like being with a power chain meaning eventually something's going to happen if two people are living in the same house with nowhere to go, and nothing to do to be able to exert that energy. So yeah, it's going to be a disaster waiting to happen. And a lot of times, it's really important to establish that foundation by asking the simple questions, you know, your childhood? How were you raised? What is the relationship with your parents, and a lot of times I always let my clients know is that observe the person when you're out with, you know, individuals, how they react to certain situations. But she also is to observe family, how they react to family, how they react to the child, parent child relationship, that's going to tell you a lot about.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 16:12
Yeah thats it. Yes, sir. That's a really, really good point. Because as much as that child maybe doesn't want to experience what they went through as in their childhood. Interestingly enough, history repeats itself so often, and then they find themselves either being acting in a way that they found damaging as a child, or be at the receiving end. Right?
Daushae Preciado 16:39
Right.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 16:40
So it's yeah, it's really good dating question. You know, just how's, how's your mom? How's (inaudible) because yeah, and one of their, you know, what their parents like, because that could be a look into your future.
Daushae Preciado 16:55
Right.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 16:55
Partner down the road when they get older.
Daushae Preciado 16:57
Exactly. And it's so funny that you say that, because when I was working in the substance abuse population, a colleague of mine was working a colleague and I were working with a lot of women that didn't experience this type of, you know, trauma. So we would equip them with it's called the 25 questions to ask a potential name. And these are some very, you know, realistic questions to ask, not just yourself, but eventually to your future partner. And I forgot to ask my colleagues is because I now work with, you know, the similar population. And when I have women ready to date, they asked me, okay, well, how do I know? How do I understand, you know, where he's coming from. And once they understand that, then they're able to make your best judgment. So I'm going to call my colleague and see if he has a copy of these questions. So I could forward this to my client, so they're able to become more self aware of some of the red flags that will come up when they do court or date their partner, future partner.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 18:21
Yes, and you know, also for listeners, I was gonna ask, I would love to get a copy of those questions. Off the top of your head. Can you think of two of the questions that were on the list?
Daushae Preciado 18:31
Yes. So the first one is, what is your relationship with money? And second, how is your relationship with your extended or immediate family? And then I believe the last one is, how do you handle stressful situations?
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 18:52
Yes, definitely. You know, yesterday, I had the pleasure of listening to, I believe her name is Sherry Tree. She's the CEO of Codebreakers, and she has this 92nd test, where you get to really know the person's personality, which would really help in relationships, understanding how to communicate with your partner, or co workers, or employees. So that's something I will definitely be sharing with the listeners in the very near future. It was honestly, eye opening for me. And it really makes one step back and pause and think about how we're communicating with each other.
Daushae Preciado 19:33
Right. And that's so key right there. Because a lot of times when we look at communication, we only look at this superficial. We don't look at the overall and we don't think about using our if statements. You don't think about establishing boundaries and communication. We don't understand we don't think about the differences between passive communication, aggressive communication and hirstoric communication, those three different types of communication can either make or break a relationship or any relationship in general, with a friend, with a family member with our business partners, even even when our clients or even with our clients, you know, we definitely lack that in our norm on our new normal, and the ability to active listen and reflect a lot of the conversations that in general people have with one another because a lot of times, there's a lot of miscommunication, which can cause you to have a lot of, you know, complications later down the line all because something was said. So, for example, do you remember ever playing telephone as a child?
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 20:54
Yes, with a little cup of the air and like so. Right? Yeah. And by the end of the time, end of the line, it's completely something different but.
Daushae Preciado 21:02
That's exactly.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 21:03
Yeah.
Daushae Preciado 21:04
Were active listening skills are. We interpret the original message to be something else. So you were to say, Hey, I ordered a cheese pizza with pepper with or with a cheese pizza at Pizza Hut. Then the other person said, no, they ordered a large two topping cheese pizza at Domino's. So you can see how the information can be manipulated from one person to another. So same thing with the conversations between my two individuals, how it can easily turn into something totally different within the fraction of a second.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 21:43
Yeah, definitely listening is a really important tool. And you know, a lot of people well, we live in this very social media world where we talk in emojis, or it's just a few words, I think sometimes the meaning is lost, like it's lost in translation. And many individuals do not know how to really connect otherwise, it's just like a swipe or swipe up or wherever the apps go, I'm not currently. But yeah, we definitely need to get back to the basics as a society, I really, I go eyeball to eyeball. And note that, you know, the majority of our communication is actually nonverbal. So by just texting, you're missing out on a whole lot.
Daushae Preciado 22:28
Exactly. And with today's, like social media, it becomes so well versed, that even using emojis can describe my feelings and emotions, which I find that quite interesting. Just because the language itself changes over time. I mean, I'm somewhat fearful of it just because, well, for one, we are definitely creatures of habit, we're going to do things that will change over time. So I can't, our language will change over time due to the fact that we have access to technology 24/7, 365 days out of the year. And and that can definitely manipulate how we communicate to each other. And lastly, with everything going on with the pandemic, it's going to make our we our communication skills and our way of responding to one another very difficult due to the fact that when we were in lockdown, all we had was technology to keep us, you know, saying to keep us with, with everything going on keeping us informed matter of fact, and I'm seeing that now, not so much more back then. But it's starting to become more of a trend now, due to the fact that people are very fearful of going outside. People now want to stay home rather than go to a movie theater. People want to do social gatherings on Zoom or Google needs or Instagram or Tiktok other various social media outlets. And we're now seeing a trend of isolation coming in with the next five or six years. But again, it can change nothing stays the same. So that's a big concern of mine as an as a mental health professional.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 24:31
Yeah, very good. And you know, you mentioned COVID. So have you noticed an uptake in referrals since the pandemic, and if you have what has changed about the referrals?
Daushae Preciado 24:42
So one of the things that I've noticed is that a lot of times we've gotten a rise of referrals that have anxiety, depression, which are the two most cause causes that we have noticed in this full in year in year hasn't changed. Another is the fact that there's so much fear around getting the virus itself. And to the point where now My coworkers are starting to become fearful, due to the fact that they're working in the office, they have to wear masks, something that's an ordinary for them that we don't do, or we haven't done within the past, what 10, 15 years ago, this was non relevant. Now, it's very relevant to the point where it's become mandated. So it's a shift of culture to tie in this very safety of our health, to now putting a mask on and designing it based on our personality. And it's really quite profound for me, but at the same time, I do have to be more self aware of my own personal feelings, and my own mental health, and how I'm going to be of service to my clients.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 26:12
So if you can give people three pieces of advice in closing, how they can best guard their mental health, especially if they've been through a situation of trauma, domestic violence, what would that be Daushae?
Daushae Preciado 26:26
So first and foremost, definitely seek therapy. Go to your local insurance provider. Here's some great resources on other social media outlets. There's Psychology Today, there's therapy for blackgirls.com. There's better how, there's also COC space as well, there's the TYDP Henderson Foundation, and there's plenty of like telehealth providers that you can go to it's it's just so amazing how now, we have access to providers within our very state that can be able to provide you with the service, which is with the click of a button. Secondly, just be mindful about what you hear. A lot of times, what you hear may not always be true. So always do your research. And lastly, surround yourself with a really good support system. It's really important to maintain a very healthy relationship, not within yourself. And also to I know it's I know there's a lot but sometimes I always suggest this self care, self care, self care. Self Care is what you make of it. Self care is really important in your day, and make that time for yourself.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 27:54
Thank you so much Daushae. Now, I know you recently started a coaching business. And it's really exciting. You know, you get to help your clients in a new way. So how can people reach you if they have questions?
Daushae Preciado 28:07
So you can go ahead and reach me at www.shiftingmindinthoughts.com forward slash work with me, you can set up a consultation, we can go ahead and review what you are in need of what you're looking for, establish some goals and then tailor a specific plan around what is it that you're looking for. Also, too, I have workbooks. Those are coming in soon, I have a journal called a visionary journal, I'm super excited about that. You can definitely go to my my website, again, www.shiftymind.com or slash, contact me get some information on how you can go ahead and purchase that. And you can also reach me at Instagram at Shifting_Mind_N_Thoughts. I am on there. Not so much due to the fact that I am currently remodeling my business structure just to so that I could be able to provide better services and information to my clients.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 29:27
That's awesome. Thank you so much for sharing. So if you didn't get that we will have these notes in our show notes below. So definitely take a pen and paper when you're not driving and reach out to her. If you haven't already. I would appreciate if you follow this podcast, The Mental Health and Wellness Show. And if you find what you're hearing to be beneficial, please go ahead and write us a review that would mean the world to us. So till we meet again next week, this is Dr. Mitchell, have a fabulous day, bye.