Feed Me Your Construction Content

Empower Your Journey with Mindset Shifts

• Joshua & Carolyn McMahon • Season 3 • Episode 45

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Imagine realizing that the person holding you back from success is staring back at you in the mirror. This episode promises to unlock the secrets behind overcoming self-imposed limitations, a journey that many of us unwittingly embark upon. We explore how our upbringing often laces our minds with limiting beliefs, making us risk-averse and hesitant to step out of our comfort zones. Through candid personal anecdotes, we affirm the importance of asking for what we want and negotiating confidently, reminding ourselves that breaking through internal barriers is essential for personal and professional growth. It's a conversation about embracing discomfort through self-reflection to ultimately shatter the glass ceiling that confines us.

Next, we delve into the art of mindset shifts tailored for success, emphasizing on the power of positive affirmations and the invaluable role of accountability partners. We touch on strategies to replace negative thoughts with empowering beliefs, illustrating how the same energy used in managing a single rental property could propel you to owning a multi-unit building. The discussion takes a humorous turn as we celebrate the art of saying "no," inspired by a social media character who has mastered setting boundaries. By aligning our actions with long-term goals and reevaluating priorities, this episode encourages you to create space for valuable opportunities, reinforcing the idea that the right mindset is the key to unlocking true potential.

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Carolyn can be found on LinkedIn at:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolyn-mcmahon-937b89158
Joshua can be found on LinkedIn at:
www.linkedin.com/in/joshuamcmahon15
Email for feedback, questions, complaints, etc:
mcmahonjoshua15@gmail.com

Daily Journal: https://amzn.to/41p9aKE

Speaker 1:

I love that. I love that.

Speaker 2:

Hey y'all, Welcome back to another episode of Feed Me your Construction Content. I'm Carolyn McMahon.

Speaker 1:

And I am Joshua McMahon.

Speaker 2:

I need a nickname.

Speaker 1:

You do need a nickname. What do you mean? You need a nickname.

Speaker 2:

I don't know. I mean you have a shortened version of Joshua.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

I don't want to be called Carol.

Speaker 1:

No, I don't think you would, carlin.

Speaker 2:

Carlin Okay y'all, I'll think about it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, let's think about it. Let's get. Hey, what do y'all think? What should her nickname be? Let's Americanize this thing. How do we shorten it?

Speaker 2:

Yes, I was called called a hard ass earlier this week by a vendor partner um that's your nickname hard ass I'd rather be a wise ass yeah hard, ass doesn't fit better than a dumb ass anyway, I digress oh my god, what's on topic tonight let's uh, let's piggyback on what we've been talking about the last couple weeks.

Speaker 1:

I think we talked about the negotiations and the year reviews, how to crash through that glass ceiling, make yourself more money. It brings up a really interesting point, and what I was thinking about earlier this week is who, not what who is holding me back? So, carlin, who is holding you back? It's not a trick question.

Speaker 2:

Oh, is it me I'm holding or I'm just in your shadow, dude? I mean, there's no other way to you know to get outside of that. I don't like that feeling You're larger than life? Yeah, no, I feel that you know we were talking about the negotiation and half the battle is just asking for what you want.

Speaker 1:

It is, and that's right. And what holds you back, or who holds you back from doing that? And I think that I want to keep emphasizing who holds you back? Because I think that we're so accustomed to an us versus them. So if I can say it's them, it's this, it's that, I feel better about it Because I can point my finger at what's holding me back. But when I say it's me holding me back, well, I don't like that.

Speaker 2:

Well, I mean, self-reflection is never a good time.

Speaker 1:

Not when it might be something negative about ourselves. The hell with that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we're just going to embrace that icky feeling and just go, you know.

Speaker 1:

Why would I do that? But it's really important to understand and recognize what you're in control of, and I wanted to start that by saying look, it's natural. Human nature is to find safety. It's to avoid risks at all costs. You can relate to that.

Speaker 2:

Yes, as the risk averse in our partnership right.

Speaker 1:

But that's human nature and I think that the thing to understand and recognize, for me to even recognize and appreciate is it's normal. There's nothing abnormal about it. I would almost say that we are hardwired in our DNA and then how we brought up our environment and our culture to avoid risks. There's not a lot of people who say I'm going to jump off that mountain, build my wings on the way down. That's me.

Speaker 2:

Or you're like I'm hoping that the parachute opens. I have lots of confidence that it will.

Speaker 1:

And if it doesn't, I'm confident I will figure out another way.

Speaker 2:

Well, the ground will stop you.

Speaker 1:

It will. I have a very short window of figuring that out, but I'm confident in my own ability to figure that out, or I'm going to flap the hell out of my arms and hope that I catch flight, all right.

Speaker 1:

So a lot of what we're discussing is what's holding us back and tying this to some of the negotiations. I think we've talked about limiting beliefs in the past and limiting beliefs. It comes from our nature to avoid risks. It comes from us seeking safety. It comes from our conditioning. How many of us learned this way as we were growing up as children, from our parents, our teachers, society that told us this is who and what you are, this is what you can do. Right? It's like I loved to tell Alex when he was growing up that you can do whatever you want to do. You can accomplish anything you want in this life. If you work for it, if you study, if you invest yourself in the right areas, you can do that.

Speaker 1:

I didn't have that growing up, so it's a chip on my shoulder. So my limiting belief of not being good enough because that's what I was taught led me to. I'm going to freaking, run well past my parents and that's what I've done. So I am driven to do even better than whatever they thought I could do, because the hell with that. So another limiting belief is a fear of failure, and we suffer with that, right, babe? I mean there's times on the job site or whatever. We make decisions because we're afraid of failing. We don't want to fail. Let me be more clear. We don't want to let someone down.

Speaker 2:

Well, I mean, that is for me a very big deal. You know, if a decision that I make creates a problem, maybe not tomorrow, maybe in the future.

Speaker 2:

we were just talking about that, a selection that I had made, which was so out of character for me that a vendor called and said are you sure about this? Like, this is not something that you do. And now I'm like you, know I'm full of doubt. Oh my gosh, what's going to happen? What would happen? We go through you know the what ifs and I'm like you know what. I'm going to roll with it.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to have faith that if something goes wrong, I'll be dead or I'll you know it'll be so far in the future that it that it won't affect me or won't affect my company.

Speaker 1:

I'd like to think that one kudos to the vendor for saying hey, this is kind of out of character. I'm raising my hand, saying there's something different about this and I want to double check.

Speaker 2:

And I'm that predictable apparently.

Speaker 1:

I think it's a good thing. I think the reps are good and how you do things is good and she is showing that she's a good vendor.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

And she's a partner of yours. That's really appreciated. Wait a minute. Is she calling after seven o'clock at night? I will talk about that later, but she's a good partner just the same.

Speaker 2:

And I answered the phone, so you know.

Speaker 1:

And you did. And here's the thing we discussed it, you and I discussed it before we went on the air and we didn't talk about, well you know what We'll be dead before. That's a problem. We did not say that.

Speaker 2:

That was a joke.

Speaker 1:

That was a total joke. But what we did do was talk about what's our thoughts on how it was done. What do the specs say? How does everything come together? How does it work? Okay, we're work. Okay, we're comfortable with the decision that was made. We did it in our own house. That's how comfortable we are with the decision. Okay, something happens, some freak incident. It doesn't perform the way we believe it will. How do we fix it?

Speaker 2:

Well, right. So what I heard in my entire life from my mother was you know, you'd have all this angst, this doubt this.

Speaker 2:

You know this worry. You'd have all this angst, this doubt this. You know this worry and you know she would really just break it down. You know, carolyn, what is the worst thing that could happen. Yeah, and you know, kind of once you say it, you know you give life to it, it's not that bad. And then, okay, and you can already start to kind of fix it and sleuth your way around it. Okay, all right, this could, the potential outcome could be bad, but how can we address it? And the fix is not that bad, even if it happens.

Speaker 1:

Right, right, that's exactly right.

Speaker 2:

And and plenty of folks have done it we're going to carry on. I'm going to have some faith, which, again, it's not my, it's not my, it's not my thing, but I I'm going to go some faith, which, again, it's not my thing, but I'm going to go forward with the decision, because I made this decision months ago and I didn't do it lightly. So there was some thought. I just don't remember what it was.

Speaker 1:

Well, I think you're moving forward by making an informed decision. You're confident in your design, you're confident in the way it will perform and you know how to resolve it should there be something to happen. So I think it's a little bit better than faith.

Speaker 2:

It's faith.

Speaker 1:

We're going to manifest good things.

Speaker 2:

Yes, please manifest good things, because I don't want to be mad at me.

Speaker 1:

So let's keep going on this. The limiting belief we all have limiting beliefs. If you don't understand this, I highly suggest you look it up. Limiting beliefs affect us all. If you recognize you have a limiting belief, you need to lean into it, you need to accept it, you need to write it down and you need to develop a strategy to overcome that limiting belief.

Speaker 2:

And listen. Limiting beliefs can be all sorts of things. Right, by making a judgment on how someone looks, you know, or it's a limiting belief about them, you know, I see a client and they come in and they're real quiet, or da da, da da. I mean, I make this assumption about them, a limiting belief, that they're not going to spend any money or that this item is not important to them and so I may gloss it over. And that's a missed opportunity. And how stupid of me. Right To make that kind of you know, my limiting belief and you push it on them you kind of you know, put that in the ether.

Speaker 1:

Wow, that's. That's really good, especially from a home building side, like how often does that happen?

Speaker 2:

But home building sales salespeople. Oh, these people can't afford this house. You know, you know, guys selling cars on the lot all kinds of things that you, you know that you just do. I don't know whatever I'm trying to say, but you know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

No, it's true. This is so funny. I drove by the BMW dealership this morning in Charlottesville. I remember when I went in there because I had to get a replacement BMW key, and how not one person would greet me, say anything to me or treat me with any level of respect. I felt like I was a second-rate citizen.

Speaker 2:

Right, and normally you get mobbed at a car dealership. You, do you can't step in there a foot.

Speaker 1:

Clearly I was not dressed in a way that they thought I could afford a BMW and what was on my mind was I want to get a new BMW Z4 convertible. We have a BMW Z4 convertible that's 13 years old and I'm like I never wanted that car. But now that I have it, I'm like I really want a new one. But after that experience because they had their limiting beliefs about who I am and what I could afford I will buy a BMW. I'm not interested.

Speaker 2:

Well, at least not buy from that dealership.

Speaker 1:

No chance, no chance.

Speaker 2:

But exactly.

Speaker 1:

So how does that affect you in your career? How does that affect you at home? Well, those things affect you everywhere, because I think it's a negative energy that you'll carry with you. So, as we were talking about negotiations and trying to go and negotiate yourself more money, well, these limiting beliefs creep into that negotiation.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, they're never going to pay me, that, they're never going to agree to this.

Speaker 1:

No. So you know what you do. You settle for your cost of living adjustment and you go about your business. You just complain about not getting what's yours. You complain about the system not working. It's not that the system's not working, it's yours. You complain about the system not working. It's not that the system's not working, it's that we aren't doing what we need to do to get out of our own way and take what we want.

Speaker 2:

Take it.

Speaker 1:

You have to. So, write down these limiting beliefs. Anytime you have this thought that I'm not good enough, I can't do this, whatever it is that you think is holding you back anything negative, write it down. Create an affirmation to counter it. So, the thing being, I can't do this. Maybe that's your limiting belief I can't do it, I'm not smart enough, I'm not. Whatever. Change that to, I can learn how to do this and be excited about it. Instead of saying I always fail at new things, say I'll learn from every step I take.

Speaker 2:

What did you say on a couple podcasts ago? That you were terrible remembering people's names.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my God, the worst.

Speaker 2:

Because that's what you said. I can't remember someone's name. It's almost like a shtick. Oh yeah, I never remember anybody's name.

Speaker 1:

I did it to give myself a pass so I wouldn't have to remember their name.

Speaker 2:

But do you know how important it is to somebody to hear their own name being said back as you're talking to them.

Speaker 1:

It makes you feel like you're important, unless you're married and you're like Josh, then it's bad, you know it's always like honey boo sweetie, but if you're called your name you're in trouble. Especially when it's my full name. When it's my full name Joshua, matthew, I'm like oh damn, I'll be in the garage, but lean into these things, and, and, and.

Speaker 1:

here's the next thing. You've written it down, you've got your affirmations. This is the next most critical part is find some accountability partners. Oh, so you all know that I want to stop swearing, right, I have stopped saying certain words throughout the year, just from working on it really hard. Now I'm trying not to say the s word, which is not a bad word oh god, but I'm trying not to say favorites I know.

Speaker 1:

No, it's not my favorite. The f bomb is my favorite. That was gonna be really hard to kick but the s word is really hard to stop, because, I mean, everybody says that six year old kids are throwing the S word around, right, it's not really a big deal.

Speaker 2:

I mean, they say super.

Speaker 1:

So what I do is I put it out there to people and my accountability partners. They will try and help me not say it or, if they, if they want to rub it in my face and they'll just keep saying it over and over again, and that's fine. You know, that doesn't happen very often. But really, in seriousness, find that accountability partner to tell them that, hey, I struggle with this, I struggle with self-doubt. I want you, I would like you to help me build me up. When you hear me talking down to myself, please put me back in my place.

Speaker 2:

God I'd be in trouble all the time the kind of like self deprecating humor that I like.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, I did it for years. I never thought I was good enough and I allowed things to happen at work or or things that people say to me. I'd say, yep, yep, that's exactly right, that's who I am, that's right. So I already believed it, I manifested it and then they confirmed it. My confirmation bias kicked in and I ran it to the bank.

Speaker 2:

Confirmation bias. It's all kinds of stuff in this one.

Speaker 1:

So the whole reason I wanted to talk about this limiting belief, tying it to the negotiation talk, is that if you want to negotiate and you want to make more money and you want to do all these things, you've got to recognize the negatives that are happening inside your own head. That's how we erase those. That's how we bust through those glass ceilings. That's how you get the money you're worth. So I want you to lean into that stuff, and everything we're talking about is mindset shifts, the limiting beliefs, recognizing them, finding affirmations. This is all about making a mindset shift. One of my favorite things to say is what got us here won't get us there I like it yeah so you can think about in our personal life we have a couple of rental properties.

Speaker 1:

What we did to acquire those two rental properties won't get us to 100 rental properties. It'll get you there, but how many years would it take you to get to 100 rental properties?

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, and we started late, we started late.

Speaker 1:

Right. And let's be honest, if it took us, say, 30 years to get to 100 rental properties, we would stop five years from now because we're done. That's exhausting. One rental property is exhausting, so you have to think differently. So how do we shift our mind? First thing is engaging and getting rid of all the negative thoughts and limiting beliefs and then changing our mindset to I can do more beliefs and then changing our mindset to I can do more. So instead of focusing on one door, one rental property, we're going to say we're going to focus on 10. If it's not a unit or a building with 10 rental properties, it's not worth buying. That's a big mindset shift, right? I don't know. I see the wheels spinning in your head, or maybe they're not spinning.

Speaker 2:

No, it's more like daggers.

Speaker 1:

It is daggers.

Speaker 2:

I don't want a stupid apartment building.

Speaker 1:

But if you think about this, the same energy it takes you to get one rental property would be the exact same thing it would take you to get one apartment building with 10 rental properties. It's the same energy.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I mean that's fair.

Speaker 1:

It might be a different bank, it might be a different option, it might be a different something, but it's the same energy, it's the same exercise, it's just a different. Who right? Because the bank is not going to give you a loan per se for 10 units, but maybe this bank will.

Speaker 2:

Oh, we're going to talk about some alternative financing.

Speaker 1:

Well, you know, be careful who you're choosing right, some of those hard money lines from the mafia per se might not be as good of a return as you think, yeah, I can't afford the VIG. But what I'm really talking about, maybe on a smaller scale, is if you want to go from making $60,000 to $120,000, how do you do that? If you just show up and do your job, the same job you do every day, it will take you how many years to get to $120,000?.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I don't know If you're in the Richmond market, you just keep on quitting, going somewhere else. You quit, you go somewhere else. You'll be at that number pretty fast.

Speaker 1:

Right now you'll be at that number pretty fast. Right now you'll be at that number overnight.

Speaker 2:

Listen, don't all everyone move to Richmond unless you know you're going to be in the building industry. We need you.

Speaker 1:

But if you didn't have the market that was kind of the way it is, where things are a little disrupted how would you make those jumps? You make those jumps by getting rid of the negative thoughts and you make those jumps by saying what am I going to do different to get to that next level? Because what got me to 60 will not get me to 120.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

And some of the things you've got to do is setting clear boundaries. You've got to have clear boundaries on exactly how your day goes, and what does this really mean? It means you cannot say yes to everything. What things are you going to say no to that will give you the opportunity to say yes to, the opportunities that will get you to the 120?

Speaker 2:

Because I imagine, if you said yes to everything, I mean, do your management, do your leaders, do they notice it? Do they reward you for such efforts?

Speaker 1:

Oh my God, yes, when you say yes.

Speaker 2:

Oh bullshit.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they reward you Bullshit. You know what? They reward you with More work. You damn right.

Speaker 2:

Because you were so successful doing this, you obviously can take more work.

Speaker 1:

Yeah well, it works both ways. This is the beauty of saying yes to everything the upper chain will dump more stuff on you and the lower chain will dump stuff on you, so you're getting it from both ends, because you're so gracious with your time.

Speaker 2:

Heck yeah, I just, I'm a people pleaser.

Speaker 1:

That's right, so is being a people pleaser. Might not be a good thing in every case.

Speaker 2:

I mean, if anyone is on Instagram, what was that little character, Veronica? Veronica is a beast. She's like oh, you want me to be, you know, working outside of my normal hours. You don't pay me to be available to you, and she's like you. You want me to be working outside of my normal hours, you don't pay me to be available to you, and she's like my spirit animal.

Speaker 1:

What does she have? Babe, Clear set boundaries.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Do not F with Veronica.

Speaker 1:

But setting those boundaries, setting those expectations, saying no to anything that doesn't get you to where you want to go, anything that doesn't get you to where your business wants you to go, it's a good thing. We think it's so. Here's what I think happens is you think, if you say no to somebody, you're being disrespectful?

Speaker 2:

Well, it's scary. It's because the expectation is there, whether it's not written anywhere. Your employee handbook probably doesn't say that. You know that. You know to be a team player. You need to do this. You know you need to work outside of your set hours, but you feel compelled to do it to show either you know your loyalty, to show you know how much you care about the company and getting it done. You know what you and I talk about. Is you tell me? Well, it just shows me you can't get your job done between eight and five and I'm like ouch.

Speaker 1:

Is it true?

Speaker 2:

Not for me.

Speaker 1:

Is it true that you can't get your job done between eight and five? Your job, not the job that they've dumped on you.

Speaker 1:

I can get my job done between eight and ten probably Most people can, because, if we're honest, the employer knows that you're there for 8, and I'm going to pay you for 8, but I know I'm only going to get 6 hours of work. Why do I say that? Because everybody's got their damn smoke breaks. You've got to have your time to go catch up on. You all see that fight with Tyson this weekend. Oh, what a joke.

Speaker 2:

You mean the water cooler talk. That's so important.

Speaker 1:

It is. It's part of the job. The relationships are part of the job. That's what makes the companies great. That's what builds your culture. But that helps you get to six hours of productive work. If you're efficient, you say no to more things that you don't need to be doing. You can get your six hours done in four.

Speaker 2:

Sure.

Speaker 1:

You can, I know it. But what happens is this unwritten rule that you have to be a team player. To be a team player, you got to say yes to everything. You have to be everything to everybody.

Speaker 2:

Like Whitney Houston.

Speaker 1:

That's it.

Speaker 2:

I'm every woman.

Speaker 1:

Crack is whack.

Speaker 2:

Well it is. But I'm every woman, I can do it all.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but Whitney Houston taught you that part, but she also taught you crack is whack, which I think was more important. Well, in the end yes, Especially in the end oh, gosh, I hope you're going to cut that. Nope.

Speaker 2:

But, yes, there is this underlying pressure to be the yes person and you want to be for me. I want to be the person that folks come to, because I have all the answers. I'm in the know, you're important, right, I'm important, the know you know you're important right. I'm important.

Speaker 1:

That just means that everybody comes to you. It doesn't mean that you're important. It doesn't mean you have a place at the table. It doesn't mean any of that stuff.

Speaker 2:

But that's what I think.

Speaker 1:

I understand, but that's because I think your limiting belief is I'm speculating Maybe you don't feel like you're good enough to be at the table. You're not good enough to be there, so you go out of your way to make sure that they know how valuable you are and how much you bring to the table.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, that's not it. I sit at the big kid's table, no doubt.

Speaker 1:

Physically.

Speaker 2:

Mentally I'm back at the kid.

Speaker 1:

I don't I don't know that, but what goes on on our head, the limiting beliefs is what opens these doors to these other things I. I will agree to that so getting more comfortable saying no to some of those things will help you shift that mindset to where, yeah, we were using the example of one rental house to 10 rentals in an apartment. But how does that relate to your own business?

Speaker 2:

Well, yeah, I mean, you're talking about 10X, right?

Speaker 1:

That's exactly what I'm talking about. How do you take your business, what you do every day and remember your business is your piece of the business. So if you work for Boone Homes, you're in the business, you have a business within the business, and if you're focused on your business being profitable, being efficient, that makes Boone a better business.

Speaker 2:

Heck yeah.

Speaker 1:

How do you 10x your portion of the business? How do you shift your mindset to say no to things that don't help bring the vision of Boone to life?

Speaker 2:

Got no idea.

Speaker 1:

I think you start by writing down what you're doing all day, doing some kind of time finder, I like every 15 minutes, so you write down what you get done and then you can look back and say, hey, I'm losing time here. This is somewhere where I can really maximize time. These are some activities that I'm doing that. What the hell am I doing them for? This doesn't bring any value to anybody. You did that when you first got there and you said why are we doing this? Why are we doing this? We're doing it three times. All you need is right here, and you fixed it. You create an efficient system to make it better. Same thing. I think maybe it's just doing that again and then looking at the things that bring the most value and then investing more of your hours in those things.

Speaker 2:

Gotcha.

Speaker 1:

That's how you start to 10X, that's how you start to shift your mind to something bigger.

Speaker 2:

And do you call that a time finder?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely so. Some people will break it down by one hour blocks. I don't think one hour is good enough because I think if you look at hell, an accountant is seven minutes. Oh, we build per every seven minutes. You could break down your day by seven minutes and if you build your time by seven minutes, how much time are you? I don't want to say wasting, but how much time could you use differently to make a bigger impact?

Speaker 2:

Are these accountants men? Because it's seven minutes, that's all they got.

Speaker 1:

Oh, seven minutes, that's like a marathon. I mean, what are you going for? What kind of record are you going for in seven minutes? I mean crap. You're putting the rest of us to shame. Sorry, damn, I mean, I'm embarrassed now I can't.

Speaker 2:

I can't go seven minutes, barely talk for seven minutes. Everyone knows that's a lot thank god yeah well.

Speaker 1:

So that that's kind of the stuff we want to talk about and listen. I want to tie this to the negotiation. If you're not 10x in your mind, you're not thinking bigger, you're not thinking about how you impact the business in a bigger way, it's going to be really difficult to win those negotiations. You want that 15, 20, 30% raise. You've got to 10x. You've got to get outside of what you're doing today and do something a much higher level and if you have questions, reach out and let's talk about it. Until next week.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, maybe the Thanksgiving We'll put one out.

Speaker 1:

We're going to show up.

Speaker 2:

So just don't eat a lot of turkey and fall asleep.

Speaker 1:

No, you can eat a lot of turkey and then listen to the podcast as you sleep.

Speaker 2:

Heck, yeah because the first couple of minutes count.

Speaker 1:

Exactly Until next week, see ya yeah.

People on this episode

Contributor

Carolyn McMahon

Co-host
Contributor

Joshua McMahon

Co-host