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Know Dumb Questions
Know Dumb Questions FT Jerron Hurtt: Where Are My Sons? 290 Days of Judicial Separation
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Jerron Hurt never expected his heartwarming videos with his twin sons would lead to losing them in family court. With raw emotion and remarkable courage, he shares how a judge deemed him "unfit" simply for posting content that garnered over a billion views online.
The story begins during the pandemic when Hurt, newly single after his children's mother left, continued raising his sons while creating viral social media content featuring their daily life. What started as family memories shared online blossomed into a thriving business. Yet the very success that allowed him to provide for his children became the weapon used against him in court.
Hurt's account reveals the hidden biases in our family court system. Despite spending over $100,000 on legal fees, enduring exhausting court battles, and presenting substantial evidence of his parenting abilities, he found himself labeled an unfit father with only supervised visitation rights. When he spoke out publicly about his case, he was held in contempt for videos that remained online—videos that had brought joy to millions of viewers worldwide.
"Brothers, we want to be there," Hurt emphasizes, challenging the narrative that Black fathers abandon their children. Instead, he exposes how structural inequalities in family courts systematically separate fathers from their children, particularly when those fathers have limited financial resources. His explanation of how Title IV-D incentivizes maternal custody and how courts lack proper due process sheds light on a system many encounter but few understand.
Despite losing his home, car, business, and temporarily his children, Hurt's spirit remains unbroken. He's channeled his pain into purpose by creating a nonprofit to help other fathers navigate similar challenges. His vulnerability and determination are inspiring countless parents fighting similar battles.
Listen to this powerful conversation that will forever change how you view fatherhood, family courts, and the courage it takes to stand up for your children against overwhelming odds. Support Jerron's fight by searching his GiveSendGo fundraiser and sharing his story.
Meeting Jerron Hurt
Speaker 2How you doing brother .
Speaker 1I'm really excited to meet you .
Speaker 2to be very honest with you , I truly appreciate this opportunity , I truly do .
Speaker 1The honor is mine for real . Thank you .
Speaker 2The depth of courage that you show , the openness that you bring to a conversation that is often , uh , non-existent , definitely definitely yeah , and it's sad because , uh , before this even started , uh , and and let me apologize ahead of time , because my pain has become a passion and sometimes I get emotional well , most of the time I get emotional even talking about it but , um , before this even happened over on Facebook . That's our biggest platform . We have over a billion views and I would always hear women say like I wish there were more fathers like you , and the sad part about it is there's plenty of fathers like me . They just don't have the platform or the voice . So , sadly , you know , I feel like this is my calling . You know what I mean . God brought me here , you know , to be the advocate to help other fathers and even other mothers . That's going through what I'm going through .
Speaker 1I want to start from the beginning , Brother Hurst , because to say your story moved me is an understatement . Every day I know , generally speaking , when I call home to one of the parents , I know 90% of the time it's going to be a sister . It may be a grandmother , maybe an aunt , maybe a cousin , a mother , but it's likely not going to be a father , likely not going to be a father . And to the casual observer , it was seeing like brothers in particular don't really want to be in their kids' lives , Like it's . You know , babies' fathers is how we exist . But your story pulverizes that narrative .
Speaker 2Can you talk about your story ? Yeah , so just to give you a little bit . Well , let me say one thing , brothers , we want to be there . It's sadly , the less money you have , the less likely you're going to be in your child's life when it comes to court hours . But we'll speak on that later . But my story , recording videos is a family tradition . We have over 5,000 VHS tapes from birthday parties , cookouts , get-togethers , church , I mean everywhere we went it was a VHS . You know the big hand quarters .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , yeah , shoulder to shoulder .
Speaker 2So every uncle of mine had one of those . And as we got older , social media came about . You know , nobody recorded on vhs tapes anymore , so our whole entire family just started posting our videos on social media and at that time their mother was , you know , living with us .
Speaker 1She was posting videos as well um I was working um is the mother of your two sons yeah , yeah , okay , yeah .
Speaker 2so their mother , she was living with us , she was posting videos , even when I was working .
Speaker 2It was just something that we did , you know , just for the family . And when she left that's one thing is just she left in the middle of the pandemic . Well , at the beginning of the pandemic and I had got laid off . I was doing very well for myself . I was making six figures . The mother didn't work . I was taking care of even her other son . I just wanted to be a family man . We didn't have the best relationship , but at the end of the day I wanted to be what was best for my sons and my family . You know what I mean . So I did everything I could to make that work . Sadly , when she left , from day one we started being harassed by her ex-boyfriend or her younger child's father . We started getting harassed . I went to court . What does that look ?
Speaker 1like Because I want people to really understand , to take it . I want to go through it slowly because how you got here isn't just all later for this woman . I'm not going to be there for my kids . There's a series of events that have occurred
Going Viral During the Pandemic
Speaker 1that are happening right now to some brother right now and he feels like we will clown him if , if he told us his story . But your courage is so moving . So when you say harassing you , what do you mean ?
Speaker 2I mean I was getting death threats . Death threats , literally . He was making hundreds of Facebook pages , making threats on the Facebook pages , saying that my story wasn't true , calling me monsters , sending me emails and through all of that I still , like , tried to have her a part of our children's lives . Like , look , you need to come see the boys . I went to court trying to get a restraining order against him . But , hey , look , you still can come see the boys .
Speaker 2But there's no way I can allow this man around my sons because he's threatened to hurt me , you know , harm me . Would it likely that he would do something to my sons , which eventually he actually did ? So , basically , for months , it was just my sons and I and , like I said , we were in the pandemic . I got laid off and that's when we went viral . It was a total blessing , even though I was already six figures . This was something else . This is where I could make more money and be home with my sons and give them a full time father to provide for them , not just financially , but physically , emotionally , spiritually , every way possible . You know , and it was just me just sharing a memory you know something that I shared just with my family . Those were the videos that were viral .
Speaker 2Um , from that point , I tried to get a restraining . Those were the videos that were viral . From that point , I tried to get a restraining order . All of that was denied and my son ended up being abused by the boyfriend From that point .
Speaker 1In what way , if you don't mind me asking , is it a physical , mental , both my son ?
Speaker 2came home with a black eye . Oh , my CPS . Yeah , CPS was the ones who picked up my sons that day from our home and had me meet them there . I had to take my sons out of his hands .
Speaker 1How old is your son who had the black eye ?
Speaker 2At the time they were three years old .
Speaker 1I had videos of my son . Did they give you an explanation of why Did he fall ? No , were the boys playing . Boys can be rough sometimes .
Speaker 2No . So what happened was as soon as I put the boys in the car , because I didn't notice it . I was just so happy to have my sons back . And when I was putting them in the car seat , that's when the CPS worker came over . She's like look , he has like a fresh mark on his eyelid . And I'm like huh , and I looked and it was just a teeny little purple . And she said that's going to get , you know , worse by the end of the night . So I'm like , well , can I take them to the , to the ER ? And she's like no , I need to come to your home and make sure that your home is okay . And I'm like , well , can you talk to them ? My sons were three years old , and not to not to mention that my sons have been on TV since they were two for their communication skills . So at three years old my sons were verbal and could have a conversation with you .
Speaker 2She came to our home . She said the next day that she was going to go to the ER with us . I didn't wait for her . I went that next morning without her . They said it was an abrasion . It got really purple and , you know , swollen up a little bit . An abrasion . It got really purple and swollen up a little bit .
Speaker 2The CPS work was really upset with me because I didn't wait for her to go to the ER . But that night she had told me . She said look , you're going to have a final restraining order . She said I talked to the mother , I talked to him , he was controlling I don't want him around your children . And when you go for the final restraining order you're going to get it . So I'm finally happy . Like you know , justice is going to be served . My sons are going to be safe . You know , thinking that the right thing would have been done , right ? Well , when it was time to go to court for the final restraining order none of that stuff that she said was in the restraining order my attorney at the time had the pictures of the bruise . That's what they tried to say . Well , he could have fell , he could have . You know , his brother could have hit him . And I'm like , well , bring the children in , let the children talk for themselves . And they wouldn't allow any of that . So , after the court , go ahead . I'm sorry .
Speaker 1How did CPS end up where you were when you picked your children up ? Because she feels really like why would they be ?
Speaker 2I'm sorry yeah , I'm leaving out some steps . So when the mother finally came around , she didn't come around until we went viral and we blew up . It was months after leaving , my sons had like a big surgery , I mean almost a life and death surgery . Was supposed to be something minor , but this is when covid had first came out , you know what what I mean . So like they had to put him , he had , they had to put him under and he had 105.7 temperature . I'm calling the mother , texting the mother . She's like I have to work . I mean she knew about this procedure , for she was the one who made it months before she left . So anyway , um , when we , when she finally came around , and after the threat started happening , we ended up going to family mediation , and when we went to family mediation , even a mediator thought that the mother should have supervised visits . So we had supervised visits . So every time that I would see the mother , the boyfriend would also be , there , be somewhere around . Was he staying ?
Speaker 1with her at the time .
Speaker 2She was staying with him .
Speaker 1Okay , so she left your crib and she went to stay with him , right Exactly .
Speaker 2First we were meeting at our home but the lawyer said don't do the home Meet in public . That was the worst idea . That was even worse because now he's able to access us . You know what I mean . So I tried to stop that's typically what people say .
Speaker 1Typically what they say to fathers is you know , if you want to see your child , see them in public , right , on some level to protect you , but on other levels to , uh , to protect the children , right . So you took what is what we , what I would refer to as conventional advice , meaning that's what most people would do , but you're saying in this case , that actually didn't right help your case .
Speaker 2it made things worse made things worse , because during one of those visits they
The Day His Children Were Taken
Speaker 2ended up I turned my back for 10 seconds and they took my sons . I mean , we literally we went to the right , we went to the aquarium . That was where we was meeting at that day . It was like a hundred and some degrees outside and we were just supposed to just sit at the Harbor and I'm like , no , it's way too hot , I'm not going to have the boys and you out here and your other son , let me just buy tickets to the aquarium and then we can just go and dance it for those hours . So I proceeded to take the boys because I didn't want to leave the boys with her , because I figured something like this would happen . I walked to the car to get the mask because , like I said , this was the beginning of the pandemic ?
Speaker 1yeah , right .
Speaker 2So I went grab the mask . We went to cvs because my son started to get red , like he started to get sunburned . So I went to CVS and I'm texting her all this too . I'm like , hey , we just got to the car , hey , we just got to CVS , we're getting some sunscreen and then we're heading back over . So maybe all of this was maybe about 10 to 15 minutes . I get back over to the aquarium and I put the sunscreen on my son's face . So we proceed to walk to the aquarium and there's a bush , maybe about 15 feet long . So after you know , I put the sunscreen on both of the boys . She walked on one side of the bush . I walked on the other side of the bush . I come out of the you know , come from behind the bush , and she's gone . I literally see her run into a white car she was maybe like five feet away from it at that time Hopped in the car and they sped off .
Speaker 1Was this a supervised visit or just a public visit ? Supervised visit , so what was the ?
Speaker 2supervisor during this time . They had me as the supervisor . That's the wild thing about it . They had me supervising the visit .
Speaker 1So you were supervising your visit with your ex and your two children .
Speaker 2Right , and I advise any other father , any other parent , to make sure you have someone else there . Don't try to do it yourself .
Speaker 1Supervision is often done by a third party . Correct , someone from the court , court appointed . I would imagine this wasn't the case with you .
Speaker 2No from the court , court appointed . I would imagine this wasn't the case with you . No , I had . We went to family mediation . I had an attorney at the time and they decided for me to supervise the visits and I wish I'd never done that . You know what I mean , because none of this would have happened .
Speaker 1I want to pause here because what's important to me is that we just take a second , because , up to this point , you're a dad , you have an ex , which sounds like y'all broke up . Let's just for the sake of you know . Nobody needs to be right , nobody needs to be wrong , for the sake of what we're saying here . Right , you guys mentioned separate ways Happens . Right , grown people decide that they don't want to be together anymore . But before this , what did you know about custody and child support , or supervision ? What did any of these terms mean to you ? Nothing nothing .
Speaker 2I was a bachelor . I was doing well for myself , part partying , hanging out , traveling . I knew nothing about that . Only thing I knew was I wanted to be a father and I wanted to be fair , and I just wanted my sons to be safe . That's all I knew .
Speaker 1But if someone had asked you before you had children , before you found yourself in a situation about father's rights , what would you have said ?
Speaker 2I have no clue , no idea . When was that ? That wasn't told to us in school . You know , most of our parents didn't tell us these things . I didn't go to college , but from what I hear , they don't tell you college .
Speaker 1But from what I hear , they don't tell you I did . They don't , it's not I did . They do not tell you it's not a thing . In fact , the narrative is typically that men are really bad people and leave women with children who they have to raise all by themselves . And you know , that's that .
Speaker 2Just to cut from my story . I wrote a couple of things down and I wanted to go over . But just to give you a little backdrop in the 1930s , that's when the Housing Act started . 1940s and 50s is when World War Two started . The 60s and 70s is when the urban community basically got the Housing Act and then that's when mothers went to the projects and that's when literally our family started to be broken up .
Speaker 1What people don't know is what you mean by that . Is that because you couldn't live in the projects if you earned a certain amount of money , right ? Or if you were married , right ? So if you were married and or you earned a certain amount of income , because it's income driven , is our housing , public housing authorities in most parts of the country , and so it's believed that during that time that black families in particular , as many of us were in public housing found ourselves breaking apart .
Speaker 1Because if you weren't married , you didn't have the father live with you , because you didn't want to claim the income , and and on and on . Because , but you would get a , you would get an apartment . I've , you know , lived in public housing , so I know the deal you get you would get an apartment . I lived in public housing , so I know the deal . You would get an apartment and it would be what you make of it , but you would get it . If your income got above a certain level , you had to leave , but leaving you often didn't have enough money to move into a similar , suitable apartment is what I hear you saying .
Speaker 2So that broke up the family I hear what you're saying and also from that became Title IV-D . So what's Title IV-D is basically child support . Title IV-D was basically made to I'm not sure if it's Title IV-E , I could be incorrect but it was to recoup the money from welfare that they were giving the mothers and because of that it became in the court's interest to give the mother custody , like even today in Maryland . In most states the child is the mother's child and for the father to have rights he has to go to court and put himself on child support to be able to see his children . And also back then when he made you know , welfare , this is when most women couldn't work . You know laws were different . You know fathers at war and stuff like that .
Speaker 1Great point .
Speaker 2Women wasn't able to get a job , you know so it was necessary . Right , right . So now it's totally different , like women are doing just as great as men are .
Speaker 1In many cases .
Speaker 2Yeah , most of the year .
Speaker 1So women are the most educated population uh demographic in in the country Right .
Speaker 2Exactly so . The thing is title four D and incentivize , incentivize the courts to give the mother to the custody . Like , title four D is a fairly funded program but it's handed down to the state and the state is able to make the rules . When the state gives the mother welfare , the federal government pays the state for that . Then the federal government also pays the state for collecting child support from the father . So they're getting paid from everyone . And also 5% of the child support goes to the judge's retirement fund .
Speaker 2So , nine out of 10 times when a father goes to court , you're not going to get full custody . I mean you're not going to get 50-50 , because that's not in the best interest of the court , it's not what's in the best interest of the child . And not only that , there's no due process in family court .
Speaker 1I mean you can I want to stay there because that's important , right , that's important , because I don't think that people really understand . I know that we're moving around because there's so much to cover in your story , but I do want to stay here because because I know you , uh as on , you know on the internet , uh , as a dad who wants to be in his kid's life very badly at one point 275 days without seeing 290 days how do you ? 290 days since you've seen your children , how does it go from ? You are in a space where you're supposed to have supervised visits and you're the supervisor of said visit to 290 days without your sons in your life ? How do you get there ?
Speaker 2So after the CPS worker came back to our home , when we went for that final , final restraining order , they denied it against the ex-boyfriend , yeah , against the ex-boyfriend . So when the cps worker came to our home , she apologized . She said look , I don't know what happened . She said I wrote out my report and it said for him not to be around the boys , for you to have full custody until you guys go to trial . And she had me call my lawyer right then and there . And she said Mr Hurt , I'm going to court with you . She said she was going on vacation for two weeks and then she was going to come to court with me to make sure that I had that final restraining order . From that day on I never spoke to her again . She said she was going on vacation for two weeks and when she came back from vacation she was going to go to court with me . I called her phone , I called the office . I heard nothing from no one .
Speaker 2Two months later , another CPS worker called me . She says look , that lady is no longer with the company . She doesn't know what happened , but she has to do another investigation . So this woman comes to the house . I'm thanking God finally something's going to happen , you know , because for those two months I wouldn't allow for the mother to see the boys . It was no way
Court Battles and Supervision
Speaker 2I was going to allow after the boys were abused or anything . You know what I mean . And I even had to put the boys in therapy and the therapist even you know , said no , just give them some time to heal . And the next CPS worker called . She came to the home and she did the right thing . She talked to my sons Right there . After talking to my sons , she said look , go now , go get a restraining order . And she's going to , you know , do an investigation .
Speaker 1So here we go again with me getting another restraining order . This is the restraining order against your ex partner's boyfriend , who she also has a child with .
Speaker 2Yes , exactly After she left us , left our home .
Speaker 1She went back with her ex , with whom she already had .
Speaker 2No , no , no , she had a baby , Maybe like she got pregnant soon after she left with this guy . Okay , yeah .
Speaker 1Okay , right , well , let me go through here . Go ahead . I'm sorry . You were going to say something . No , no , you're fine . You're fine , go ahead . So you had a situation in which you had your children in your home . You were attempting to get a restraining order against the boyfriend of your ex and for the sake of this , we'll say Todd so you were trying to get a restraining order against Todd and your ex let's call her Jane and so , as you were trying to get a restraining order against them , you still had physical custody of the children .
Speaker 2Yeah , I had my sons for , because by this time this was over , maybe about a year . So I've done everything . I went through the whole pandemic . We started doing great on social media . We moved , you know , we were living in a townhome , we moved into a state . I put my sons in a six-bed school in the country . I mean , we were doing great . You know , we was going to church on Sundays , extracurricular activities , we were doing everything when this happened .
Speaker 1So what happened ? How did you lose custody of your children for almost a year ?
Speaker 2so basically what happened was it's so much to say , but when we went to court , I couldn't afford my attorney anymore . I spent well over a hundred thousand dollars and it was no way that I could continue to pause there because I don't want you to skip that .
Speaker 1We got to stop there because it's really important . I don't think people understand the cost of fighting for your children Not at all .
Speaker 2I paid . I had a psychologist and this woman was the best I mean , I knew , even if I didn't have an attorney . If I could have just afforded this attorney , this psychologist , my sons would be home and the mother would have had supervised visits . I was paying this woman $500 an hour for her to talk to me and talk to their mother weekly . So that's $4,000 I had to pay her just for that . That's not even including her talking to my sons , talking to the school and , on top of that , playing an attorney .
Speaker 2People don't understand how much this stuff costs and they asked me that in court . What happened to the money that you had ? You guys were working all this money . I told him . I said you took it . I'm spending $10,000 to $15,000 in court fees . My son's tuition is $4,000 a month for their kindergarten . I'm being a father , but you guys have taken my money . If I didn't have court , we would have hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank , but people don't understand how much this stuff costs . And some people but you guys have taken my money . If I didn't have court , you would have hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank , but people don't understand how much this stuff costs . And some people say get a , get a a free attorney defender ?
Speaker 2we don't have , yeah , public defender . We don't have that . In maryland there's no public defenders , so you have to have the only thing you can get . You can get a pro bono attorney , but by this time I was making all this money . So you can get a pro bono attorney , but by this time I was making all this money , so how could I afford a pro bono attorney ? And here's the thing about pro bono attorneys they're getting paid from the state . All of these attorneys are all together , they work together , they drink together , they eat together and when they're pro bono they have to go back in front of their judge .
Speaker 1So I wouldn't trust a pro bono attorney because it's in their To your point is that , yeah , because your I hear your point is that if you could have someone who had your best interest at heart , then they wouldn't be so concerned about whether or not they get along with a judge , because they get new jobs from the judges is what I hear you saying . Right right , so you get down $100,000 , which is just as a moment of pause . I don't care how much money you make . $100,000 is $100,000 . We hear about athletes and entertainers and we hear $100,000 . People100,000 . We hear about athletes and entertainers and we hear $100,000 . We hear about people talking about wearing things , but no one really can conceptualize losing $100,000 . But it wasn't just the $100,000 that you lost . You lost your kids . I've lost everything , brother .
Speaker 2I lost my sons , I lost my home , I lost our business , I lost my vehicle . I mean , I'm in a neighbor's home right now doing this live because I'm staying with my mother . She's watching some children right now Like I've lost everything and my pain is my passion . Brother , I'm not going to let it get me down Like I'm going to keep fighting . No-transcript , I refuse to stop .
Speaker 1Well , so tell me , were your parental rights terminated ?
Speaker 2No , not no , they wasn't . So what happened was when I went for that five-day trial . So my trial was first five days . Well , initially it was three days . During those initial three days , they said I was an unfit father for having my sons on social media . I'm like we have over a billion views on social media and it's all positive . My sons went to Gilman School , Like when I put the paperwork out and they saw my email that said they're her twins . They were so excited just to have us in the school because they knew who we were . You know what I mean . Like I've done everything for my sons and they're like well , you know , you're making money off of your sons . I'm like , first of all , people don't understand how much work goes into content creation . You know what I mean ?
Speaker 1yeah , but it's not like you I mean , but you didn't have them out there stripping , I mean they were . They were up there talking , they were being boys and they were being the cutest little , smart little boys that any dad would be proud to put on video , and so I don't understand that .
Speaker 2We watched our videos for over a day . I mean , the judge herself asked me , because where we lived I told you was the States and it was around the corner from the courthouse , so it was the most prominent area , probably in Baltimore .
Speaker 2She asked me . She said how did you get into that community ? I said what do you mean ? How I got into the community ? How can you afford that community ? I said because I'm blessed and I work hard . She asked me do your neighbors like you ? She knows it was a predominantly white neighborhood . Right , the neighborhood is literally- .
Speaker 1Why is that relevant ? Why did she think that that was a relevant question ?
Speaker 2And I asked her . I said are you asking me this because of the color of my skin ? And she smirked . She asked me about my sons going to Gilman . Literally , why do you want your sons in a school like that ? You didn't go to a school like that and I said because I want better for my children . I recall well that's a boozy school , that's a prominent school . Politicians' children go there . Why would you want your children in a school like that ?
Speaker 1I was literally actually Brother Kwame Rose was just Brother Kwame Rose says he was there and she really did ask that I'm beyond . So you didn't lose custody , because if you don't , if you didn't lose custody , in my experience you could go to school tomorrow and you could pick them up from school .
Speaker 2if that's the case , why is that not the case with you ? I was , so here's what happened after those five days of trial . Like they had , gave me a restraining order .
Speaker 1I couldn't put the boys online why was there a trial for what ? What was , what was the reason , the cause of a trial ?
Speaker 2so when my was abused , that's when I went for full custody and for the mother to get supervised .
Speaker 2Trial for custody Okay , so it started when the boys were three years old . By the time we got to court , the boys were five years old , about to turn to six . So this is why it took so much money because I went through this for three years , okay . So during the trial , they ended up giving me took so much money because I went through this for three years , okay . So during the trial , they ended up giving me supervised business . They said I was an unfit father and numerous of times we say oh , you're an amazing father , oh , you're an excellent father , but you put your children online . And because you put your children online , you're unfit . So now we're going to give you supervised business .
Speaker 1But it's not a crime , though . What are they ? I guess it's . I mean , judges get to judge , so I don't Whose child isn't online ? I mean really .
Speaker 2Whose child actually isn't online . This is the problem when it comes to family court . There's no due process , so that judge doesn't have to follow a law . It's her opinion . She has process , so that judge doesn't have to follow a law . It's her opinion . She has what's called discretion . So if her discretion says , well , I don't like that , it doesn't matter what the law is . If she doesn't like it , then it's right . So in her opinion she didn't like . How you know , the guardian ad litem said she didn't like it . And nine out of ten times they're gonna , you know , rule in whatever the guardian ad litem said . So because they , they see it and like it , I'm wrong . So it's literally a 23-page , 22-page report about how unfit I am .
Speaker 1Ninety-five percent of that ruling Based upon them being online . That's what I'm trying to get to . So , because I've never heard of such , let me just be clear . Like Brother Hertz , you know it is rare that I see a parent lose parental rights . You know , 30 years in this , I haven't lost them . I haven't lost them . So if you haven't lost them and this is my experience I recognize that every state is different . You know we're in New York and Connecticut and this is my experience . I recognize that every state is different . We're in New York and Connecticut . You should for us as a school . If you were a parent in our school , you want to see your child's grades , we have to show you child's grades . If you want to see your child , you want to come pick your child up from school . Unless we had a court document that says you can't , you can , and that's between you and the ex to fight it out . So why is that not the case within your situation .
Speaker 2Well , just to intervene really quick , I have a father that I'm working with now in baltimore um , and he was granted custody
Financial Cost of Fighting for Custody
Speaker 2um of his son and he's gone to the school numerous of times and the school refuses to give him his son , so the mother's picking him up early . They'll call the police on him . So I I I love your school but has the court ?
Speaker 1no , no , no . But I'm saying , I know , I'm just , this isn't about our school . I'm just saying that I'm because I really want to understand it , because I want people to hear your story .
Speaker 2Let me tell you the rest . So basically what happened after the 90-day supervised visits , and not to mention during the supervised visits , my sons were calling . They ended up calling CPS on their mother , the social workers that were in the visitation center for neglect , because my sons kept coming to the visitation center crying , saying they're not having dinner , they're not having breakfast in the morning , they're going to sleep hungry , and CPS was called .
Speaker 1At five years old , your sons called CPS .
Speaker 2No , the social workers called CPS .
Speaker 2Okay so during the visitation center we had . You know , we were in a visitation center and my sons would cry for that hour about being hungry and starving and asking , can I get them food ? And I'm begging them , can I get them food ? And eventually they ended up calling CPS . So the Guardian Lightroom has done all this . He's basically made you know a story . You know . The psychologists have spoken up , everyone has spoken up . This woman just made me like a monster . The psychologists have spoken up , everyone has spoken up . This woman just made me like a monster . But once I got on Dr Rashard's Richie show , well , no matter of fact , after the 90 Days Visitation was up , I got on Dr Rashard Richie's show and WSA 9 . Soon as that happened , the judge was recused from my case . So at that point I got another attorney and I went to court again . So remember , I only had the 90 day visitation right . So when we went to court he said we found you in contempt because there were still videos online . Like I said , we have over a billion views .
Speaker 1There's no way that so they wanted you to strip the internet of videos ? Yeah , they helped me in contempt for that . No way that . Do they want you to strip the ?
Speaker 2internet of videos . Yeah , they helped me in contempt for that .
Speaker 1I just want to make sure I understand this .
Speaker 2So the judge in this case is saying that I have a restraining order where it says that I can't have my sons online , that my business name was the Hurt Twins LLC , that I need to take that down , close the business why ? Because their opinion and their discretion ?
Speaker 1oh , because what happens was the mom trying to claim that she , because she's also a parent , that she should have some access to that . Is that what ?
Speaker 2I really they tried to say that I didn't . At one time they tried to say that it was no finances . You know that we were doing this and it was no finances and I'm like well , this is what the but you don't have to have a job to have children .
Speaker 1Right , you can be homeless .
Speaker 2You can be living in a homeless shelter and have children .
Speaker 2I mean listen to this . The mother has never had her own home . She doesn't drive , she makes sixteen dollars an hour and she has four children and those four children now are living in a two bedroom home . She's been homeless . I even offered my home to her and her four you know , our two children . I mean all of this . And when I went back to court with this , with this new attorney , the judge called both attorneys up and said look , there's going to be no litigation . I don't care what happened . He was found in contempt because there were still videos up and he was going to honor the agreement I mean honor the custody order that the previous judge written . My lawyer argued that this was illegal , that there was a new evidence , that there was no litigation , and he said he didn't care if I had a problem with it , appeal it and and kwame rose can tell you that- yeah and yeah , my attorney , you know , kept talking was like , look , this is unjust .
Speaker 2There's no parenting time , there's nothing . He said he didn't care , he didn't want to hear it and he stopped . That was it . He told us to wait outside for for a custody order and then , uh , we would go from there . We stayed outside for almost two hours . No order ever came . Then the clerk came out , said , look , the order will come in the mail . And that was in what ? August , september . There's still no order to this day . So I feel like I should , should just be able to go up to the school and pick the boys up , but , like they said they're going . They use this judge to basically rubber stamp . He didn't listen to any evidence or anything . So if I go up there and try to take the boys , then that's when they're going to come out with an order .
Speaker 1Is there an order that says that you are prohibited from seeing your children ?
Speaker 2There's no order .
Speaker 1He's never written another order and that's supposed to be done within 30 days Is the school , within 30 days is the school , and and this is I don't even because I don't know the school that they go to oh wow , so that's different okay .
Speaker 2So she's taking them out of their school , she's taking them away from their doctors . Um , my friend was the only family that they have . They seen my family two , three days a week . She has no one like . It's literally her and this boyfriend and and they've been leaving my sons alone . I mean all of this . My sons have told all of this stuff . My sons have told everything that's happened to them . But this Gardner and Lightham , Angela Silverstein , she's been the one to cover all of this stuff up , Like I have the videos , I have the transcripts . I mean I have everything . Anyone that just looks at my case can see what literally happened . This is why I've been posting videos up on my sons , because I tried to present all this stuff in court but Angela Silverstein , a guard in that light , refuses to allow it . You know what I mean . So it's making so you have lost everything .
Speaker 1You lost your job , you lost what you spent $100,000 . You lost your home , but , most importantly , you lost the only thing that mattered in all this your son so far . So what I want to understand is how , from the Guardian , at Lightham's perspective , or even the school's perspective , how it is that you can't just go see them . And the reason why I'm here , brother Hertz , is because there are so many men and I mean men , um , I , I do mean what I'm saying who do find themselves in situations where one of course not typically in favor of men , right , add to that black men and you got uphill climb , brother . Yeah , I don't need to tell you that . But then take it one step further .
Speaker 1Even before we get to court , our society takes children from their fathers almost upon , uh , birth . Yeah , how many men have been made to feel like , oh , you're doing it wrong , oh , you're doing it wrong , oh , you're doing it wrong , oh , you're doing it wrong , oh , you're doing it wrong . And so they play with our self-esteem and dig into our self-confidence and , as such , make us feel like there's something wrong with us , as fathers , like mothers , know how to be better parents than fathers . So there's a general belief . Yeah , there's a general belief in our culture that dads are not as good as parents , even when they want to be , but in many cases , especially among black men , that we don't want to be and you are saying no , no , no , no , no , no , I'm a good dad and I'm interested in being that .
Speaker 2That so what I can say from this ? I know it's big in our community , but I'll say this for me , becoming an advocate , now this is happening Rich communities , poor communities , white communities , black communities , republican communities , the Democrat communities . It started with slavery and now this is modern slavery . You take the father out of the household and then they know what's going to happen . They know , you know , more depression . What is it ? Nine times likely to be incarcerated . So this is . It started with us , but now it's going everywhere . We're all going through this . You know what I mean .
Speaker 2And like that garden at Lightham , when she first came to our home , the first thing she said to me was how can you afford a Range Rover ? Like woman , I work . You know what I mean . Like before , before this , my car , before I had my sons , I had a more expensive vehicle . You know what I mean . I downsize . When I had my sons and I truly believe she saw me and I'm going to talk about race I feel like she saw a black man that was successful and she said I don't want that . And how could your sons go to Gilman ? How could you live in that community ? You didn't have all of that stuff . So every time someone has spoken up for me that school , that therapist , those social workers . She wouldn't allow any of that evidence in court and the problem was I didn't have an attorney to voice that . I went pro se . And that's the problem when you're proceeding .
Speaker 1Everybody doesn't know what pro se means . What does pro se mean ?
Speaker 2Representing yourself . And the problem is , you may know the law , but the judge isn't going to respect you like an attorney . Someone that spent six to eight years in college , you know to get that degree . So yeah , I proved my case . I proved you know the parenting . It's like seven parenting factors . I proved all of them . She didn't know their doctor . She didn't know their best friend's name . She didn't know their teacher's name . I mean
Social Media as a Weapon Against Him
Speaker 2all of this , you know . I proved that her first child's father tried to unalive her oldest son . I'm the second and third father . The fourth father abused my sons . My sons watched her be abused by that new boyfriend that the next boyfriend . She took the boys and moved with , left my sons alone . So I showed all this . I had nothing on me . The only thing I had is that I shared my memories with our memories , with the world , and they turned that into a monster . And this is why I say all of these guys , these men out here , you know that have these platforms . It's time for us to speak up and tell what's going on to us , because we're not monsters Literally .
Speaker 2I had it's called Lisa McNeese and Mike McNeese . They have a movie called we Are the Parents and they go inside the courtroom and they literally had a lawyer no , a state's attorney hold a class for attorneys and told the attorneys if you're representing the mother , claim domestic violence Whether if it's true or it's not , you'll automatically get custody and then he'll be put on child support . And this is literally in the movie . We Are the Parents , so it's like who's fighting for us ? All of this stuff is done behind closed doors . They don't allow cameras .
Speaker 1Was that claim made against you ? Was that claim made against you ? No , no , no .
Speaker 2I had no claims against me , nothing . I'm like it's thick in Spain . I mean , like I said before , I had my sons , I partied and stuff . I had nothing . They tried to make claims . You know , like when I was younger I had a back problem and then before we went to court they tried to say , oh well , he used narcotics . Then they had me tested for that . Ok , well , he go to doctor's note for that and that lasted maybe six months , you know . Then he drinks . Well , test me for it . You know what I mean . It's like all these .
Speaker 1It's not illegal . It's not illegal if you drink .
Speaker 2And again , even if you do , that is not typically in my experience evidence that one is a bad father , what I've seen , what you presented Right . They didn't bring any of this up in court . These were the allegations they tried in court . The only thing they put against me was our social media . We literally spent five days on social media .
Speaker 1So let's just say there so did they find any videos that they , that they described as somehow reprehensible ?
Speaker 2yeah . So they did see a video of my sons and I . My sons have hydronephrosis , it's a issue with their kidney . I did a video . My sons had never been apart , so I did a video where I show what you know what I mean . Like my son was like daddy , can you record ? I want to know what's going on . So I took like maybe 10 seconds here , 10 seconds there . The doctors approved of it . It was nothing bad . It wasn't like no OSHA violations or anything . This was like clear . You know , maybe he was laying on the table . I took 10 seconds here , Us walking into the hospital , 10 seconds here . They tried to say something about that . And here's another one they tried to bring up . This is even crazier . My son's , my sons .
Speaker 2One day I picked them up from school . We went to the market and they wanted a Lunchable . My sons ate healthy . Of course . I let them just have junk food every now and again . It was a new Lunchable came out and it was Sub Rose . Right , my sons were so happy . Daddy , can we get this ? Of course you can Get to the line . My son has to go do number two . I don't know about you , but we don't go to public bathrooms , but it seemed like he wanted it so bad I said okay , let's go to that bathroom . Bathroom was too filthy . Okay , we'll leave the stuff here . We'll go home . We'll get it tomorrow . On the way home I did something I wasn't supposed to do . I texted on my phone and order order uber eats . You know some subs right well , these are not .
Speaker 1These are not criminal offenses , like none of these things I mean .
Speaker 2Okay so listen to this . So when we go home , I did a live video of us having dinner , right , and my son was upset . He said , daddy . He said , um , I really wanted that lunchable . I said , you know , look , you had . You know , we had , you know , an emergency . Didn't say what it was , we just had to go home . He , he was upset .
Speaker 2I said , look , there's plenty of people in this world that wish they had that sub . You know , you got to learn how to be thankful and grateful , right ? So I ended up reaching out to Royal Farms and they gave me like a coupon where I could get free food . So I took that coupon and brought like maybe 50 sandwiches to the homeless , all of this stuff , and I took my whole entire family and we gave food to the homeless . I black blurred out their faces because this is about teaching my sons a lesson , you know . They said , well , he made this video with his sons and made his son script this thing up so he could go and make a video with Royal Farms . And all of this is fake .
Speaker 1They literally said I was my son , even if you did again like I'm not seeing the abuse . I get it . That's what I'm saying . So again , even if that were the case , that you were an actor and you were trying to get Royal Farms whoever Royal Farms is they just got two plugs in . Whoever Royal Farms is , that they did . You wanted to get them some shine for giving away food to the homeless and they wanted it , and you brought your kids to do it . I'm still not seeing an issue , me either .
Speaker 2This is five days of court . Five days of court . They literally watched the comments and said , look , this person is in Romania , this person is in Australia . Like what about it ? What about it ? My son's aren't in any harm , no one's doing anything . This is all positive .
Speaker 1Yeah , then they're about to arrest the kardashians and logan paul and anybody else who's got their children online me , all of us . My son , I guess I'm coming next . Well , I'm about to move out anyway , so maybe , maybe , I'm too old for it . But so here's what I first . I want to ask you so , where are you now ? In the case you said 290 days without your sons , where are you now ?
Speaker 2So the issue was I could go to court myself and get a modification or try for modification , but as what was done to me when I had an attorney , I don't want to go in there by myself because I feel like that's when they'll try to keep me and that means terminate parental rights . So I'm trying to get the funds together now . I don't want to go in there by myself because I feel like that's when they'll try to TR me and that means terminate parental rights . So I'm trying to get the funds together now to get an attorney that's not afraid to go in the courtroom and say judge , you're wrong . This was his First Amendment , right ? He didn't do anything . You know what I mean . Look at the actual evidence that showed the abuse and neglect for the mother . So now I'm trying to raise the funds for that . I started my nonprofit .
Speaker 1I turned my pain into my passion Before we go past that . So how would people support you in your efforts ? Let's start this , not miss that opportunity .
Speaker 2I have a Gives and Go , Gives and Go and you can search Jerron Hurt , J-E-R-R-O-N , Hurt , H-U-R-T-T , and you can donate there and I thank you and I appreciate you all .
Speaker 1Let me take a second here , because what drew me to your story
Structural Bias in Family Courts
Speaker 1was the beauty and patience that you showed when engaging your sons . Where did that come ?
Speaker 2from my trauma . You know some of us , you know , try to say , well , what killed me made me stronger . That's bullcrap , you know what I mean . Like when my sons saw something . When my sons did something , as soon as I saw it , I saw in my head what happened to me and there's no way I could do those same things to my sons . I want it better for my sons . You know what I mean . So my goal was to give my sons a better life and to talk to them better and love them better from what I felt like I had .
Speaker 2I had an aunt that just passed away . Her name was Aunt Janie . She was in church since she was nine years old and the boys wasn't even allowed to go to her funeral . She was closer to the boys than their mother , but she's always instilled love and God in me and that's who I honored and that's who I strive to be like . That's who I honored and that's what I strive to be like . So when I had my sons , it was just like from my trauma . I got to relive my childhood through them and think about how I would want my parents to treat me , and it was my first time that I felt unconditional love other than from my aunt . You know what I mean . I didn't feel like I had it from my mother and my father the way I wanted it , and I just wanted to give them what I was missing , and that's what most parents fail to understand . You can't give your children what you receive . It's not okay to be normal . You should want your children to be better want your children to be better .
Speaker 1You and and I encourage people to , who haven't had the opportunity to check you out online , but it hurts . I think that the way you engage your children , the way you allow them to problem solve , offers them the opportunity to develop into the types of young men that they need to individually . But what it also does is it helps them build a bond . I watched one where one of them was saying you're supposed to listen to me because I'm older , and that you allow them to make their way is a sign of confidence in in your , in the outcomes of your children .
Speaker 1That's some high level stuff .
Speaker 2I'll tell you this , this one thing that I've learned from my boys . For some reason , the first time they started speaking , like they always repeated me , so I realized I couldn't say anything back . Once I realized that it made me up my vocabulary . I would just go into the dictionary and find random words or you know what I mean , things that I knew I was going to use in a sentence that morning at breakfast time , and I knew by dinner time they would use those things , you know , that sentence again , or that word again . So over time it was just like they listened to me so much I I didn't have to tell them anymore . You know what I mean . It just became second nature to them . So when people say be seen and not heard , no , that's not the way it is . Children , they're not dogs , they're not animals , they have opinions , they have a brain . You know what I mean . And it's all in what you put into your child .
Speaker 1I do . Brother Jefferson just said something I think is important . He talked about the impact that this has had on you as a man . Talk about the impact that losing your sons and everything else has had on you .
Speaker 2I can't sleep . I can't take silence . I got to go to sleep with the TV on . Even when I watch TV , I got to play a game or something , because my mind is constantly on my sons . But that's where my nonprofit has came in . It's giving me purpose , because my children were my purpose . At first it was me partying and drinking and hanging out and traveling , but no , when I had my sons it changed me . So my nonprofit
Turning Pain Into Purpose
Speaker 2now , helping other fathers , is what gets me going . So when I know there's a father that could use , you know , some type of help or whatever I can do , I do it . I'm now partnered with University of Baltimore Law School . We started in fall . It's 150 children from 6th to 7th and 8th grade that are truant and I'll be teaching them how to make viral content , how to monetize the viral content , what lights to use , what wardrobe to use , the angles of the cameras , how to edit . So I can't parent my children right now , but I'm a parent to the world , I'm a help parent and I'm a help those children that don't have parents .
Speaker 2I've started a book . It's called Look to the Left , Look to the Right no Cards . Then it's All Right and it's a story about me just taking a walk with my sons , teaching them about shapes , teaching them about words . I have to stay busy . My life is my children . As hard as it sounds , I try not to think about my children because it hurts so much . Everything that I'm doing is for my children . You get what I mean . I do . I know they're coming home , I know they'll be home , but it's just . I have to stay busy . I get anxious , nervous . They'll even try to use this against me in the courtroom .
Speaker 1I don't know how they could . All you're doing is speaking your truth , if you could I recognize that this is a tough speaking your truth , if you could . I recognize that this is a tough space . But if you could speak to your ex , their mother I don't know the circumstances of your breakup , but I would imagine that she , um , and you , at one point or another , cared very deeply for each other . If you could say something to her today , what would that be ?
Speaker 2I don't hate you . I've never hated you . I've always took your interest in the heart . You're the mother of my children . When anything that's bad happened to you , I'm not even going to talk about it . I've always opened my home . I always offered to take care of you . I've done everything I can for you . I don't understand why you're doing this to us . It's not right .
Speaker 1Has she ever said why ?
Speaker 2I mean , I kind of know why , but she had a really bad childhood and she didn't have love . And I tried my best , I've been put in therapy , I've done everything I could to try to help her , but it just seemed like she just likes violence .
Speaker 1That's what she goes to , but this doesn't seem to be the case with the other children's father .
Speaker 2None of them are staying with their children . She's keeping all of her children . Okay , yeah .
Speaker 1All of their parents , all their fathers .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , wow . She's never stayed with a guy more than two years . She usually has a baby and then she goes , moves directly in with another guy and none of us see our children . The psycho that I , you know , tried to put the restraining order on um . He doesn't see his children . The first child's father , this one that she's with now , is a dog who doesn't see his children .
Speaker 1I mean doesn't see , or can't see because yours sounds like it you can't . Is that the same circumstances you have ?
Speaker 2I just know that the same circumstances as you have . I just know that he doesn't . That's all I know . Okay , okay , that's fair .
Speaker 1That's fair . Brother , I deeply appreciate you taking the time out today . Thank you , you didn't have to , but I guarantee you tonight you've helped a lot of dudes who are going through the same or similar experiences as you are . They are trying to find out how to see their children and in many cases there's a lot of dudes just say you know what I ?
Speaker 1I'm good , I'm not doing this anymore , yeah yeah , yeah , maybe they'll get to see me when , whatever . So , as a parting statement , what do you want to say to your sons ? I love you .
Speaker 2God got you . I'm great , I'm special . God loves you . Daddy's doing everything he can . I can't wait to hold you on my arms and just tell you I love you . Just have faith , you know I'm coming .
Speaker 1You take good care of yourself
Message to Mothers and Final Thoughts
Speaker 1. I mean that Appreciate you Deep .
Speaker 2Can I ? Can I say one thing ? Can I say whatever you need , Of course . So I I just want to talk to the mothers real quick .
Speaker 2You , I just want to talk to the mothers real quick . You got to take your emotions out of it and do what's best for your children , Because when they get older they're going to have questions why daddy wasn't around and at some point they're going to have to know the truth . And then , when you take that father out , they're nine times more likely to be incarcerated . The high school dropouts go through depression . I mean , it's so much that happens to our children when they don't have both parents . Just do the right thing . Take your emotions out of it and do what's right for your children .
Speaker 1Because you're not just hurting the father , you're hurting your children as well . I'll say this I've seen people in this situation and around . About the time that a little boy starts to turn 12 , 13 , he starts smelling himself . You will want to put a dad there , and it's real hard for a dad to step in at 12 , 13 . He is not nearly as effective as if he were there from the beginning .
Speaker 2That coach , that mentor isn't the same as dad .
Speaker 1They need their father Not at all , but I deeply appreciate you . I thank you so much . So many people are holding you down and I suspect that this will go your way very , very soon . I appreciate it . You take good care . Thank you , brother . Likewise , likewise . Peace . Bye-bye .