Some of yall bouta be real mad at me. But it must be said. BOY WERE WE WRONG. No new Taylor album (we didn’t even talk about this but whatever lol). Charli XCX lies to reporters (yay), there’s new Solange (yay) and new Jonas Brothers (nay). Billie Eilish wishes u were gay... SAME! Lady Gaga is a wacky bitch again, Lady Gaga's fans convinced straight people to stream Shallow for Starbucks, American Idol is still bad, The Bachelor is dumb but Cassie our queen, a choir perfected a song by Vanderpump's Sheana Shay, Pete Davidson put his tongue in Kate Beckinsale's mouth (yum!), Antoni was there, Queer Eye is back, Alexis from Schitt's Creek owes Gaga a writing credit, Crazy Frog BOPS and Vans always land upright?? Cardi B killed Garth Brooks, Colton JUMPED THE FENCE FINALLY and I wish I wish I wish that I had a penis.