Podcast Episode

The Living Jewishly Podcast

To Tree or Not to Tree: Intermarriage and the Holidays

Dec 06, 2022 Episode 100

Living Jewishly / Kayla Kwinter

“One unexpected benefit of being in an interfaith relationship has been that it’s really caused me to look at all of my Jewish practice and ask myself: where is the meaning in this to me?”

— Kayla Kwinter

The December dilemma: how do we keep hold of our Jewish identity and joy in the face of the Christmas onslaught? With classic carols and popstar covers playing on repeat in grocery stores and retail shops, holiday specials popping up on television, and Christmas lights brightening neighbourhoods, December can feel overwhelming, but it is doubly challenging for Jews who are intermarried and must navigate this type of terrain year-round. Add children into the mix, and the conversation turns to how the kids will be raised — and which practices will become paramount.

In this episode of the Living Jewishly Podcasts, Dr. Elliot Malamet and Rabbi Yossi Sapirman sit down with Kayla Kwinter and Mike Finley, Toronto-based lawyers in an interreligious marriage, to talk about their experience working together to build a shared life that is spiritually meaningful for each of them, and the role that their religious differences has played in their relationship.

Listen now to enjoy a spirited discussion about dating while Jewish, raising a Jewish child in an interfaith marriage, and the areas of tension that the couple have had to deal with.

“It’s very important to me to raise a Jewish family, and I want a partner who can be a partner in that with me, but whether or not they are themselves Jewish was a lot less important to me.”

— Kayla Kwinter

This‌ ‌episode discusses:‌ ‌

How Kayla and Mike negotiate and practice holiday celebrations and observances
Why Mike chose not to convert and how he still participates meaningfully in Jewish culture
The advice that they would give to other interfaith couples — and the value of radical communication

‌

Highlights:‌ ‌

00:52 Intro

02:40 Dealbreakers & familial objections

07:23 Converting & authenticity

09:40 Raising a Jewish child

13:02 If Mike converted

15:18 Negotiating holidays

18:51 Thought process before dating

22:42 Areas of tension

25:04 Boundaries, privilege & radical communication

29:34 Investing in other traditions