{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.66,"body":"Trust is so"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.66,"body":"complex and so multi layered,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3.66,"endTime":8.46,"body":"and it really has to do with"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3.66,"endTime":8.46,"body":"whether we've been seen sooth,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":8.46,"endTime":12.78,"body":"safe and secure, and ultimately,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":8.46,"endTime":12.78,"body":"we will generally trust to the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":12.78,"endTime":15.84,"body":"degree that we have a secure"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":12.78,"endTime":15.84,"body":"attachment. 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We long to see the body of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":70.44,"endTime":75.3,"body":"Christ look like Jesus. I'm your"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":70.44,"endTime":75.3,"body":"host. Joshua Johnson, welcome to"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":75.3,"endTime":80.3,"body":"the first episode of 2025 it is"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":75.3,"endTime":80.3,"body":"going to be a fantastic year."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":80.48,"endTime":85.04,"body":"I'm excited for what 2025 has in"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":80.48,"endTime":85.04,"body":"store, for shifting culture and"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":85.04,"endTime":90.14,"body":"for you the listener, it's going"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":85.04,"endTime":90.14,"body":"to be a good one. Today, I'm"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":90.14,"endTime":93.08,"body":"excited to bring you a"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":90.14,"endTime":93.08,"body":"conversation that gets to the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":93.08,"endTime":97.22,"body":"core of what it means to be"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":93.08,"endTime":97.22,"body":"human, to grapple with pain,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":97.52,"endTime":101.92,"body":"with trauma, and the longing to"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":97.52,"endTime":101.92,"body":"be truly seen and loved. My"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":101.92,"endTime":105.34,"body":"guest is Michael JOHN CUSICK,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":101.92,"endTime":105.34,"body":"author of the new book sacred"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":105.34,"endTime":108.64,"body":"attachment, and he's here to"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":105.34,"endTime":108.64,"body":"share his deeply personal"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":108.64,"endTime":112.66,"body":"journey of moving from a place"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":108.64,"endTime":112.66,"body":"of fear and shame into an"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":112.66,"endTime":116.56,"body":"embodied experience of God's"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":112.66,"endTime":116.56,"body":"love and security. Michael"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":116.56,"endTime":120.66,"body":"reframes the concept of sin not"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":116.56,"endTime":120.66,"body":"as moral failure, but as the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":120.66,"endTime":125.76,"body":"mishandling of our pain, and"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":120.66,"endTime":125.76,"body":"this shift opens up a whole new"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":125.76,"endTime":129.06,"body":"avenue for understanding the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":125.76,"endTime":129.06,"body":"human condition and the path to"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":129.06,"endTime":133.38,"body":"healing. He unpacks the 5w of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":129.06,"endTime":133.38,"body":"brokenness, wretchedness,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":133.44,"endTime":137.04,"body":"weakness, woundedness, warfare"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":133.44,"endTime":137.04,"body":"and wiring, illuminating the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":137.04,"endTime":141.08,"body":"complex, multi layered nature of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":137.04,"endTime":141.08,"body":"the struggles we all face. But"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":141.08,"endTime":144.56,"body":"this isn't just an intellectual"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":141.08,"endTime":144.56,"body":"exercise. Michael grounds his"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":144.56,"endTime":150.2,"body":"insights in his own life story."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":144.56,"endTime":150.2,"body":"His own experience of life"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":150.2,"endTime":153.92,"body":"became a journey as he wrestled"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":150.2,"endTime":153.92,"body":"with the fear that God was"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":153.92,"endTime":158.06,"body":"displeased with him, only to be"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":153.92,"endTime":158.06,"body":"met with an unexpected embrace"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":158.12,"endTime":162.34,"body":"of love and acceptance."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":158.12,"endTime":162.34,"body":"Michael's exploration of Jesus's"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":162.34,"endTime":165.94,"body":"own secure attachment to the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":162.34,"endTime":165.94,"body":"Father, and how that provides a"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":165.94,"endTime":168.7,"body":"model for us to follow, even in"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":165.94,"endTime":168.7,"body":"the midst of our own pain and"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":168.7,"endTime":173.68,"body":"trauma, was particularly"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":168.7,"endTime":173.68,"body":"insightful. 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This is a rich, nuanced"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":184.74,"endTime":189.0,"body":"conversation that challenges us"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":184.74,"endTime":189.0,"body":"to confront the deepest parts of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":189.0,"endTime":192.24,"body":"ourselves, to acknowledge our"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":189.0,"endTime":192.24,"body":"brokenness and to open ourselves"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":192.24,"endTime":197.34,"body":"up to the transformative power"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":192.24,"endTime":197.34,"body":"of love. There is profound"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":197.4,"endTime":201.62,"body":"wisdom here for anyone seeking"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":197.4,"endTime":201.62,"body":"to live a more whole integrated"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":201.62,"endTime":207.8,"body":"life. Get ready to receive the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":201.62,"endTime":207.8,"body":"love of God. Enjoy my"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":207.8,"endTime":212.78,"body":"conversation with Michael. JOHN"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":207.8,"endTime":212.78,"body":"CUSICK, Michael, welcome to"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":212.78,"endTime":215.3,"body":"shifting culture. Excited to"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":212.78,"endTime":215.3,"body":"have you on thank you for"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":215.3,"endTime":215.78,"body":"joining me,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":216.14,"endTime":218.06,"body":"Joshua, I'm"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":216.14,"endTime":218.06,"body":"glad to be here. Thank you for"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":218.06,"endTime":219.74,"body":"the opportunity. Well, we're"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":218.06,"endTime":219.74,"body":"gonna"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":219.74,"endTime":221.56,"body":"be talking a"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":219.74,"endTime":221.56,"body":"little bit about sacred"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":221.56,"endTime":225.58,"body":"attachment, receiving divine"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":221.56,"endTime":225.58,"body":"love, being securely attached to"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":225.58,"endTime":228.76,"body":"Gods and in our relationships,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":225.58,"endTime":228.76,"body":"it's gonna be a fun"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":228.76,"endTime":232.18,"body":"conversation. I'd love for you"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":228.76,"endTime":232.18,"body":"to start a little bit back in"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":232.18,"endTime":235.36,"body":"your childhood, where you do in"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":232.18,"endTime":235.36,"body":"your book, and in your book,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":235.36,"endTime":240.78,"body":"sacred attachment, how did you"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":235.36,"endTime":240.78,"body":"remember spinning into a place"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":240.78,"endTime":246.24,"body":"from fear and shame into a place"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":240.78,"endTime":246.24,"body":"of love and security, even in a"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":246.3,"endTime":248.64,"body":"a real experience that you had."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":249.66,"endTime":252.42,"body":"Yeah, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":249.66,"endTime":252.42,"body":"I'll truncate the story, because"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":252.48,"endTime":255.84,"body":"I did a podcast about a week"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":252.48,"endTime":255.84,"body":"ago, and I think I spent about"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":255.84,"endTime":259.02,"body":"15 minutes on this story, and I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":255.84,"endTime":259.02,"body":"got into way too much detail."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":259.02,"endTime":264.44,"body":"But so I'm 60 years old, and in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":259.02,"endTime":264.44,"body":"1964 I was born the youngest of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":264.44,"endTime":268.64,"body":"five Irish Catholic kids in a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":264.44,"endTime":268.64,"body":"very devout Catholic family. My"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":268.64,"endTime":273.62,"body":"dad was an alcoholic, and he got"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":268.64,"endTime":273.62,"body":"sober when I was in second"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":273.62,"endTime":277.64,"body":"grade. For the final time he got"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":273.62,"endTime":277.64,"body":"sober one of the monthly things"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":277.64,"endTime":281.26,"body":"we did as a Catholic family, we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":277.64,"endTime":281.26,"body":"went to visit my dad's sister,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":281.5,"endTime":284.98,"body":"and we called sister Anne"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":281.5,"endTime":284.98,"body":"because she was a cloistered"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":284.98,"endTime":288.64,"body":"Carmelite nun. Carmelites are"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":284.98,"endTime":288.64,"body":"like the Navy SEALs. They"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":288.64,"endTime":291.76,"body":"brought us Teresa of Avila, St"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":288.64,"endTime":291.76,"body":"John of the Cross, Theresa of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":291.76,"endTime":295.54,"body":"lesu and many others. They were"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":291.76,"endTime":295.54,"body":"cloistered in the sense that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":295.54,"endTime":299.38,"body":"they had no contact with the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":295.54,"endTime":299.38,"body":"outside world, and to this day,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":299.38,"endTime":302.88,"body":"many of the. 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And then if"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":317.04,"endTime":319.98,"body":"you went into the chapel, which"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":319.98,"endTime":323.18,"body":"was available to the public, the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":319.98,"endTime":323.18,"body":"nuns would all be behind a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":323.18,"endTime":325.76,"body":"separate grill from where the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":323.18,"endTime":325.76,"body":"choir would sing. And this is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":325.76,"endTime":328.76,"body":"kind of you might see in certain"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":325.76,"endTime":328.76,"body":"movies, even in The Sound of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":328.76,"endTime":331.88,"body":"Music, they're not cloistered,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":328.76,"endTime":331.88,"body":"but they're singing from behind"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":331.88,"endTime":335.54,"body":"this grill. 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And one"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":370.38,"endTime":373.26,"body":"day, my brother, when no one was"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":370.38,"endTime":373.26,"body":"looking, lifted me up, put me in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":373.26,"endTime":377.1,"body":"the cabinet, spun me around, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":373.26,"endTime":377.1,"body":"I was terrified, thinking, you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":377.1,"endTime":380.66,"body":"know, I'm gonna die. 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Life"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":421.92,"endTime":425.76,"body":"was going well as I was playing"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":425.76,"endTime":428.28,"body":"with Hot Wheels cars and rolling"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":425.76,"endTime":428.28,"body":"a ball with my sister on the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":428.28,"endTime":430.5,"body":"floor. And then something"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":428.28,"endTime":430.5,"body":"happens that shouldn't be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":430.5,"endTime":433.92,"body":"happening. I'm in this place and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":430.5,"endTime":433.92,"body":"I'm literally spinning, and I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":433.98,"endTime":438.96,"body":"would get very dizzy and be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":433.98,"endTime":438.96,"body":"nauseous a lot, and I thought I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":438.96,"endTime":441.92,"body":"was going to die, and then I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":438.96,"endTime":441.92,"body":"thought I was in trouble when I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":441.92,"endTime":444.74,"body":"was on the wrong side of the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":441.92,"endTime":444.74,"body":"bars, but I was embraced by love"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":444.8,"endTime":448.82,"body":"and welcomed into this dance in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":444.8,"endTime":448.82,"body":"a very unexpected way,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":449.18,"endTime":453.56,"body":"interestingly, by women who"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":449.18,"endTime":453.56,"body":"represented the feminine side of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":453.56,"endTime":458.12,"body":"God and the nurturing, tender"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":453.56,"endTime":458.12,"body":"side of God. And as I reflect"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":458.12,"endTime":461.32,"body":"back on that, and as I wrote the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":458.12,"endTime":461.32,"body":"book, that became a metaphor"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":461.32,"endTime":465.76,"body":"Joshua, for this idea that if"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":461.32,"endTime":465.76,"body":"people can see me, I've got my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":465.76,"endTime":469.06,"body":"glasses down on the end of my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":465.76,"endTime":469.06,"body":"nose, that God is looking down"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":469.06,"endTime":471.64,"body":"his nose at me like a British"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":469.06,"endTime":471.64,"body":"schoolmaster, and he's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":471.64,"endTime":474.52,"body":"displeased, and I'm in trouble,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":471.64,"endTime":474.52,"body":"and I've just flunked and I'm"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":474.52,"endTime":477.64,"body":"going to get kicked out of the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":474.52,"endTime":477.64,"body":"academy. That was my picture of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":477.64,"endTime":480.9,"body":"God, that I'm on the wrong side"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":477.64,"endTime":480.9,"body":"of things, and it's not good"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":481.56,"endTime":484.5,"body":"when, in fact, in the midst of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":481.56,"endTime":484.5,"body":"that disorientation and the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":484.5,"endTime":487.5,"body":"spinning, there was this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":484.5,"endTime":487.5,"body":"unexpected, surprising embrace"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":487.5,"endTime":492.18,"body":"that really became a great"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":487.5,"endTime":492.18,"body":"template for what would happen"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":492.18,"endTime":494.88,"body":"in my life. Because it wasn't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":492.18,"endTime":494.88,"body":"just boom, everything was great."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":495.72,"endTime":499.38,"body":"So it was during that same year"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":495.72,"endTime":499.38,"body":"of my life, when I was four"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":499.38,"endTime":503.0,"body":"years old. It would have been"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":499.38,"endTime":503.0,"body":"1968 when during that wonderful"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":503.0,"endTime":506.9,"body":"experience of disorientation to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":503.0,"endTime":506.9,"body":"the welcome embrace of love and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":506.9,"endTime":511.22,"body":"the nuns that I was being"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":506.9,"endTime":511.22,"body":"sexually abused by my uncle, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":511.22,"endTime":516.86,"body":"so it did provide a backdrop of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":511.22,"endTime":516.86,"body":"basic safety and a sense of love"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":516.86,"endTime":521.44,"body":"that wasn't actually being"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":516.86,"endTime":521.44,"body":"experienced in my family, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":521.8,"endTime":526.54,"body":"that pattern of being oriented,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":521.8,"endTime":526.54,"body":"disoriented and reoriented would"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":526.54,"endTime":530.14,"body":"continue through my whole life"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":526.54,"endTime":530.14,"body":"into addictions that manifested"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":530.14,"endTime":533.38,"body":"in my life, and that's really"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":530.14,"endTime":533.38,"body":"become a template of learning"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":533.38,"endTime":537.76,"body":"and growing and sometimes"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":533.38,"endTime":537.76,"body":"battling to live on the side of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":537.82,"endTime":542.1,"body":"and to embody the reality that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":537.82,"endTime":542.1,"body":"that I'm embraced by the God who"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":542.1,"endTime":548.28,"body":"is love. And that God, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":542.1,"endTime":548.28,"body":"especially the Christian God"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":548.28,"endTime":550.98,"body":"that looks like Jesus, is not"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":548.28,"endTime":550.98,"body":"one who's looking down his nose"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":550.98,"endTime":553.68,"body":"with disapproval at me as"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":553.74,"endTime":556.5,"body":"you experience"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":553.74,"endTime":556.5,"body":"that pain, that the abuse and"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":556.5,"endTime":561.02,"body":"then the addiction that comes"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":556.5,"endTime":561.02,"body":"from it, you talk a bit about"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":561.02,"endTime":564.62,"body":"reframing sin, not as moral"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":561.02,"endTime":564.62,"body":"failure, but as mishandled pain."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":565.16,"endTime":568.52,"body":"And I think that's that's"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":565.16,"endTime":568.52,"body":"helpful, as you get into this"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":568.52,"endTime":572.72,"body":"disorientation, which is pain"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":568.52,"endTime":572.72,"body":"and trauma, and then a"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":572.72,"endTime":576.38,"body":"reorientation, I think can go"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":572.72,"endTime":576.38,"body":"either way. It could be a"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":576.38,"endTime":581.8,"body":"reorientation towards a life of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":576.38,"endTime":581.8,"body":"abuse of different substances,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":581.8,"endTime":585.16,"body":"trying to mishandle pain, or it"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":581.8,"endTime":585.16,"body":"could be a reorientation back"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":585.16,"endTime":589.3,"body":"towards the love of God. How?"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":585.16,"endTime":589.3,"body":"How have you seen those two"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":589.3,"endTime":591.7,"body":"different paths play out in your"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":589.3,"endTime":591.7,"body":"own life?"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":592.72,"endTime":594.76,"body":"Well, first"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":592.72,"endTime":594.76,"body":"of all, let me comment on I love"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":594.76,"endTime":599.14,"body":"the fact that you use the phrase"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":594.76,"endTime":599.14,"body":"moral failure, because that's a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":599.14,"endTime":601.98,"body":"euphemism, right? For the pastor"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":599.14,"endTime":601.98,"body":"committed adultery, he had a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":601.98,"endTime":604.92,"body":"moral failure. And according to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":601.98,"endTime":604.92,"body":"Jesus, moral failure is, you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":604.92,"endTime":610.2,"body":"know, failing to love the poor"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":604.92,"endTime":610.2,"body":"or to take care of the sick or"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":610.2,"endTime":613.32,"body":"to clothe the naked. And it's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":610.2,"endTime":613.32,"body":"just interesting that we speak"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":613.38,"endTime":616.98,"body":"in those ways. So first of all,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":613.38,"endTime":616.98,"body":"I'm a big believer in morality,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":616.98,"endTime":621.38,"body":"and I'm a big believer in the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":616.98,"endTime":621.38,"body":"absolutes of the 10 Commandments"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":621.38,"endTime":625.46,"body":"and things like that. But in the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":621.38,"endTime":625.46,"body":"work that I do, both formerly as"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":625.46,"endTime":629.0,"body":"a youth pastor and then for the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":625.46,"endTime":629.0,"body":"last 30 years in clinical"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":629.0,"endTime":632.54,"body":"counseling and pastoral care and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":629.0,"endTime":632.54,"body":"spiritual direction, people have"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":632.54,"endTime":637.1,"body":"been deeply wounded by how the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":632.54,"endTime":637.1,"body":"concept of sin and the word sin"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":637.1,"endTime":641.8,"body":"has been used against them to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":637.1,"endTime":641.8,"body":"foster shame and in a certain"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":641.8,"endTime":646.18,"body":"way, to try to motivate people"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":641.8,"endTime":646.18,"body":"to be better. And it's really"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":646.18,"endTime":650.62,"body":"hard to be loved by God. And if"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":646.18,"endTime":650.62,"body":"we love because he first loved"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":650.62,"endTime":653.86,"body":"us, if we're not being loved, if"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":650.62,"endTime":653.86,"body":"we don't have an experience of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":653.86,"endTime":658.84,"body":"love, then we will not be very"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":653.86,"endTime":658.84,"body":"loving. And so in my own story"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":658.84,"endTime":664.38,"body":"of of my own marriage blowing up"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":658.84,"endTime":664.38,"body":"and almost ruining my marriage,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":664.38,"endTime":666.96,"body":"three years into my marriage"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":664.38,"endTime":666.96,"body":"with a hidden life of sexual"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":666.96,"endTime":671.16,"body":"addiction and alcoholism, God"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":666.96,"endTime":671.16,"body":"rescued my marriage, and we've"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":671.16,"endTime":674.82,"body":"been married almost 34 years"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":671.16,"endTime":674.82,"body":"now, I've come to use this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":674.82,"endTime":678.6,"body":"phrase that sin is about how we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":674.82,"endTime":678.6,"body":"mishandle our pain in the same"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":678.6,"endTime":683.36,"body":"way that Jeremiah, in chapter"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":678.6,"endTime":683.36,"body":"two of Jeremiah spoke about that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":683.36,"endTime":688.76,"body":"our problem is that we're very"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":683.36,"endTime":688.76,"body":"thirsty. We're thirsty for for"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":688.76,"endTime":691.94,"body":"connection, for relationship,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":688.76,"endTime":691.94,"body":"for significance, for impact."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":692.12,"endTime":694.52,"body":"But the problem is in our"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":692.12,"endTime":694.52,"body":"thirst. The thirst is that we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":694.52,"endTime":697.7,"body":"turn from the source of living"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":694.52,"endTime":697.7,"body":"water, which Jeremiah tells us"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":697.7,"endTime":701.68,"body":"was God, and we dig broken"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":697.7,"endTime":701.68,"body":"cisterns. And Jeremiah says that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":701.68,"endTime":704.56,"body":"there are cisterns that can't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":701.68,"endTime":704.56,"body":"even hold water. So they're"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":704.62,"endTime":707.32,"body":"cracked, they're leaking. We've"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":704.62,"endTime":707.32,"body":"got to keep going back again and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":707.32,"endTime":709.96,"body":"again and again, and that's kind"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":707.32,"endTime":709.96,"body":"of the basis for all addiction."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":710.32,"endTime":713.92,"body":"So to understand that sin is how"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":710.32,"endTime":713.92,"body":"we mishandle our pain, I've come"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":713.92,"endTime":717.76,"body":"up with five W's, which I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":713.92,"endTime":717.76,"body":"discuss in the book, which which"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":717.76,"endTime":721.68,"body":"help us to understand the nature"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":717.76,"endTime":721.68,"body":"of brokenness. And first w is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":721.68,"endTime":724.74,"body":"wretchedness. Some people might"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":721.68,"endTime":724.74,"body":"go, Well, that sounds awful,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":724.74,"endTime":727.62,"body":"because we all know the we all"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":724.74,"endTime":727.62,"body":"know the song. So bear with me,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":727.62,"endTime":730.02,"body":"listeners. We all know the song."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":727.62,"endTime":730.02,"body":"Amazing Grace. How sweet the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":730.02,"endTime":733.56,"body":"sound that saved a wretch like"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":730.02,"endTime":733.56,"body":"me. And if you look up the word"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":733.56,"endTime":736.74,"body":"wretch in the dictionary, it"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":733.56,"endTime":736.74,"body":"says someone who's despicable or"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":736.74,"endTime":740.42,"body":"vile. And how many times have I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":736.74,"endTime":740.42,"body":"stood there singing that song in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":740.42,"endTime":744.02,"body":"church, basically saying, God,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":740.42,"endTime":744.02,"body":"I'm so despicable and vile, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":744.02,"endTime":747.62,"body":"I sure felt that way because I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":744.02,"endTime":747.62,"body":"was I was unfaithful to my wife,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":747.62,"endTime":750.56,"body":"and I was addicted to porn and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":747.62,"endTime":750.56,"body":"acting out sexually before I was"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":750.56,"endTime":753.2,"body":"married, and lying and living a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":750.56,"endTime":753.2,"body":"double life when I was in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":753.2,"endTime":756.8,"body":"ministry. Surely I'm despicable"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":753.2,"endTime":756.8,"body":"and vile, but that's not what"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":756.8,"endTime":761.32,"body":"God says about me with the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":756.8,"endTime":761.32,"body":"gospel and through the eyes of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":761.32,"endTime":767.08,"body":"Jesus. And so the word wretched,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":761.32,"endTime":767.08,"body":"as I began to explore this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":767.14,"endTime":772.78,"body":"actually means a person who's in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":767.14,"endTime":772.78,"body":"exile, a person who's homeless,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":772.84,"endTime":776.14,"body":"a person who's wandering. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":772.84,"endTime":776.14,"body":"particularly, the richest"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":776.14,"endTime":780.3,"body":"meaning of the word wretched is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":776.14,"endTime":780.3,"body":"impoverished. So I've got"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":780.3,"endTime":783.36,"body":"nothing that I can bring like"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":780.3,"endTime":783.36,"body":"The Little Drummer Boy. I've got"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":783.36,"endTime":787.08,"body":"no gift to bring, just this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":783.36,"endTime":787.08,"body":"little rumpa Pom Pom, and that's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":787.08,"endTime":789.48,"body":"going to have to be good enough"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":787.08,"endTime":789.48,"body":"for Jesus. And that's what made"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":789.48,"endTime":793.2,"body":"that cute little Christmas song"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":789.48,"endTime":793.2,"body":"so popular, is, wouldn't that be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":793.2,"endTime":796.26,"body":"awesome if we could just bring"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":793.2,"endTime":796.26,"body":"our weakness and our"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":796.26,"endTime":798.9,"body":"vulnerability, so our"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":796.26,"endTime":798.9,"body":"wretchedness is the fact that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":798.9,"endTime":801.92,"body":"we've got no game, the fact that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":798.9,"endTime":801.92,"body":"we've got there's no way that we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":801.92,"endTime":806.42,"body":"can earn love. And in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":801.92,"endTime":806.42,"body":"dickinsonian literature,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":806.42,"endTime":810.26,"body":"wretchedness was most typified"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":806.42,"endTime":810.26,"body":"through characters that were"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":810.26,"endTime":814.64,"body":"homeless and begging for money."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":810.26,"endTime":814.64,"body":"And I think that helps to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":814.64,"endTime":818.78,"body":"reframe our understanding of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":814.64,"endTime":818.78,"body":"sin, that it's less about that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":818.78,"endTime":823.0,"body":"we're despicable and vile, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":818.78,"endTime":823.0,"body":"more about the fact that that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":823.0,"endTime":827.08,"body":"we're impoverished spiritually,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":823.0,"endTime":827.08,"body":"and that that alone, as Theresa"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":827.08,"endTime":830.08,"body":"said, is our capacity for God,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":827.08,"endTime":830.08,"body":"then you've got weakness the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":830.08,"endTime":832.6,"body":"second W that's just our"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":830.08,"endTime":832.6,"body":"vulnerabilities, our human"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":832.6,"endTime":836.14,"body":"limitations. Jesus had them. We"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":832.6,"endTime":836.14,"body":"all have them. Jesus had to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":836.14,"endTime":839.44,"body":"sleep, eat, go to the bathroom."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":836.14,"endTime":839.44,"body":"He asked his friends to pray and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":839.44,"endTime":842.64,"body":"get 70. Then you have"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":839.44,"endTime":842.64,"body":"woundedness, which includes"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":842.64,"endTime":845.64,"body":"trauma. But it's not just the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":842.64,"endTime":845.64,"body":"wounds of the things that have"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":845.64,"endTime":848.16,"body":"happened to us. It's also the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":845.64,"endTime":848.16,"body":"things that were meant to be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":848.16,"endTime":851.04,"body":"done and were left undone, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":848.16,"endTime":851.04,"body":"those are oftentimes the more"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":851.04,"endTime":853.98,"body":"difficult to heal, and the ones"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":851.04,"endTime":853.98,"body":"are more difficult to recognize,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":853.98,"endTime":857.34,"body":"because, hey, I'm okay. I didn't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":853.98,"endTime":857.34,"body":"get X, Y or Z that I needed"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":857.34,"endTime":861.74,"body":"growing up. I'm okay. So"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":857.34,"endTime":861.74,"body":"woundedness and then warfare is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":861.74,"endTime":865.52,"body":"not demon possession as much as"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":861.74,"endTime":865.52,"body":"the fact that revelation 12"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":865.52,"endTime":869.54,"body":"tells us we've got an accuser,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":865.52,"endTime":869.54,"body":"somebody who's hurling insults"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":869.54,"endTime":874.58,"body":"at us, as one translation says,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":869.54,"endTime":874.58,"body":"and who is lying to us about who"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":874.58,"endTime":878.6,"body":"God is and who we are, and the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":874.58,"endTime":878.6,"body":"why is always that you can't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":878.6,"endTime":881.56,"body":"trust God. He's not really going"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":878.6,"endTime":881.56,"body":"to be there for you when you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":881.56,"endTime":883.84,"body":"need him. And it seems like"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":881.56,"endTime":883.84,"body":"there's a lot of evidence in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":883.84,"endTime":887.02,"body":"life that proves that. And then"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":883.84,"endTime":887.02,"body":"the lie about us is that we can"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":887.02,"endTime":891.1,"body":"be self sufficient, that we can"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":887.02,"endTime":891.1,"body":"beat God, that we can ultimately"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":891.1,"endTime":894.22,"body":"take care of ourselves and get"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":891.1,"endTime":894.22,"body":"our needs met. And then the last"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":894.22,"endTime":898.36,"body":"w is the neurological aspect,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":894.22,"endTime":898.36,"body":"that it's our wiring. So we got"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":898.36,"endTime":901.02,"body":"wretchedness, weakness,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":898.36,"endTime":901.02,"body":"woundedness. Warfare and wiring."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":901.08,"endTime":904.2,"body":"And I like to think is that last"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":901.08,"endTime":904.2,"body":"W of wiring is kind of a circle"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":904.2,"endTime":907.56,"body":"around all the others. And the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":904.2,"endTime":907.56,"body":"wiring is that we are embodied."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":907.56,"endTime":910.2,"body":"And the idea of the soul, at"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":907.56,"endTime":910.2,"body":"least the Hebrew idea of the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":910.2,"endTime":913.38,"body":"soul, is the body, the mind, the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":910.2,"endTime":913.38,"body":"emotions, the will, versus the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":913.38,"endTime":916.08,"body":"Greek idea that we're just"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":913.38,"endTime":916.08,"body":"heads, the mind, the emotions"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":916.08,"endTime":919.68,"body":"and the will. And so a holistic"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":916.08,"endTime":919.68,"body":"Jesus understanding of the Soul"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":920.28,"endTime":925.1,"body":"is ALL of those W's in the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":920.28,"endTime":925.1,"body":"context of where physical beings"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":925.1,"endTime":930.5,"body":"and our bodies get pathways and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":925.1,"endTime":930.5,"body":"and ruts that create certain"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":930.5,"endTime":933.32,"body":"behaviors that is are really"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":930.5,"endTime":933.32,"body":"difficult to break out of, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":933.32,"endTime":939.44,"body":"that have to be compassionately"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":933.32,"endTime":939.44,"body":"considered to to grow as human"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":939.56,"endTime":943.36,"body":"beings, to use religious"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":939.56,"endTime":943.36,"body":"language, to be sanctified, to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":943.36,"endTime":946.3,"body":"be free and to live"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":943.36,"endTime":946.3,"body":"wholehearted. I want"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":946.3,"endTime":949.12,"body":"to take Jesus's"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":946.3,"endTime":949.12,"body":"life a little bit as an example,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":949.36,"endTime":953.68,"body":"just contemplating his birth and"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":949.36,"endTime":953.68,"body":"where he came from. He was a"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":953.68,"endTime":958.3,"body":"part of a community, a Jewish"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":953.68,"endTime":958.3,"body":"community, that was a under the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":958.3,"endTime":963.24,"body":"Empire, that had a lot of trauma"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":958.3,"endTime":963.24,"body":"inflicted on them and"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":963.3,"endTime":968.22,"body":"generational trauma. Jesus had"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":963.3,"endTime":968.22,"body":"to flee into Egypt as a refugee,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":968.22,"endTime":971.64,"body":"as a little little baby, a"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":968.22,"endTime":971.64,"body":"little boy coming back, he"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":971.64,"endTime":974.94,"body":"couldn't even go back into the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":971.64,"endTime":974.94,"body":"place that he was born. His"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":974.94,"endTime":978.66,"body":"family was around because a"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":974.94,"endTime":978.66,"body":"Herod was killing all these"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":978.66,"endTime":982.34,"body":"these babies, and it was really"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":978.66,"endTime":982.34,"body":"because of him, because of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":982.34,"endTime":986.3,"body":"Jesus. It seems to me like there"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":982.34,"endTime":986.3,"body":"was a lot of generational"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":986.3,"endTime":989.72,"body":"trauma, there was a lot of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":986.3,"endTime":989.72,"body":"woundedness and pain within him,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":990.2,"endTime":994.94,"body":"but he was able. I mean, he is,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":990.2,"endTime":994.94,"body":"he's God man, like it's Jesus,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":994.94,"endTime":998.3,"body":"but I think he's a good example"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":994.94,"endTime":998.3,"body":"for us, because he is able to"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":998.3,"endTime":1004.14,"body":"then receive who he is from the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":998.3,"endTime":1004.14,"body":"Father in heaven, that he's able"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1004.14,"endTime":1007.56,"body":"to be attached to him. And he's"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1004.14,"endTime":1007.56,"body":"probably the the one that has"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1007.56,"endTime":1012.24,"body":"the most secure attachment to"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1007.56,"endTime":1012.24,"body":"God, the Father, than anyone in"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1012.24,"endTime":1016.08,"body":"history, of course. And he was"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1012.24,"endTime":1016.08,"body":"only doing what He saw the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1016.08,"endTime":1020.96,"body":"Father in Heaven doing. How does"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1016.08,"endTime":1020.96,"body":"Jesus get from that that place"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1020.96,"endTime":1026.48,"body":"of pain generational trauma into"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1020.96,"endTime":1026.48,"body":"this place of secure attachment"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1026.48,"endTime":1029.84,"body":"with his father and doing only"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1026.48,"endTime":1029.84,"body":"what he sees the Father doing in"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1029.84,"endTime":1030.2,"body":"heaven."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1092.38,"endTime":1093.64,"body":"Well,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1092.38,"endTime":1093.64,"body":"that's a it's a fascinating"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1093.64,"endTime":1096.34,"body":"question Joshua that ultimately"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1093.64,"endTime":1096.34,"body":"I don't have an answer to, you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1096.34,"endTime":1100.3600000000001,"body":"know, did Jesus have a secure,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1096.34,"endTime":1100.3600000000001,"body":"100% attachment from, you know,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1100.3600000000001,"endTime":1104.34,"body":"from birth forward? But I think"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1100.3600000000001,"endTime":1104.34,"body":"the beauty of I love, love, love"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1104.4,"endTime":1108.9,"body":"the backdrop in the portrait"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1104.4,"endTime":1108.9,"body":"that you just painted of Jesus"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1109.14,"endTime":1114.6,"body":"was a refugee from a genocide,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1109.14,"endTime":1114.6,"body":"that he was in a religious"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1114.6,"endTime":1118.2,"body":"culture that was being"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1114.6,"endTime":1118.2,"body":"persecuted, that he came from a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1118.2,"endTime":1123.38,"body":"religiously devout family. He"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1118.2,"endTime":1123.38,"body":"was born to, initially an unwed"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1123.5,"endTime":1127.7,"body":"peasant teenager. And here's the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1123.5,"endTime":1127.7,"body":"beautiful thing, who had a who"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1127.7,"endTime":1133.58,"body":"had an extraordinary amount of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1127.7,"endTime":1133.58,"body":"emotional, spiritual well being,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1133.58,"endTime":1137.72,"body":"she was a mature human being,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1133.58,"endTime":1137.72,"body":"even though she was presumably,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1137.72,"endTime":1142.3600000000001,"body":"you know, 1415, years old. Why?"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1137.72,"endTime":1142.3600000000001,"body":"Because she had this profound"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1142.3600000000001,"endTime":1145.18,"body":"encounter with an otherworldly"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1142.3600000000001,"endTime":1145.18,"body":"creature that would have been"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1145.18,"endTime":1149.68,"body":"terrifying. Do not be afraid,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1145.18,"endTime":1149.68,"body":"Mary. And she said, Yes, she"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1149.68,"endTime":1153.22,"body":"trusted. She and trusted. And so"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1149.68,"endTime":1153.22,"body":"it's the beginning of Advent, as"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1153.22,"endTime":1158.68,"body":"we record this conversation, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1153.22,"endTime":1158.68,"body":"many church traditions will look"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1158.68,"endTime":1162.3600000000001,"body":"at Advent and the the kickoff to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1158.68,"endTime":1162.3600000000001,"body":"that is the Magnificat, Mary's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1162.3600000000001,"endTime":1168.78,"body":"song of praise and her prayer."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1162.3600000000001,"endTime":1168.78,"body":"And it is yes, let it be thy"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1168.78,"endTime":1171.48,"body":"will be done, the sense of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1168.78,"endTime":1171.48,"body":"surrender. And so there was"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1171.48,"endTime":1175.68,"body":"something in Mary that was both"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1171.48,"endTime":1175.68,"body":"vulnerable and innocent in the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1175.68,"endTime":1178.74,"body":"midst of all of that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1175.68,"endTime":1178.74,"body":"generational trauma and poverty,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1178.98,"endTime":1184.04,"body":"that was able to surrender to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1178.98,"endTime":1184.04,"body":"love, surrender to something and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1184.04,"endTime":1188.96,"body":"someone greater that she could"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1184.04,"endTime":1188.96,"body":"trust. It wasn't a religious act"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1188.96,"endTime":1191.9,"body":"of devotion. Saying, here's this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1188.96,"endTime":1191.9,"body":"verse in the Psalms that tells"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1191.9,"endTime":1196.04,"body":"me blank. It was a relational"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1191.9,"endTime":1196.04,"body":"reality where she said yes. So I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1196.04,"endTime":1200.54,"body":"think that Jesus was born into a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1196.04,"endTime":1200.54,"body":"healthy family, albeit a family"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1200.54,"endTime":1203.8600000000001,"body":"that had a lot of complications,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1200.54,"endTime":1203.8600000000001,"body":"right from the very beginning,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1203.8600000000001,"endTime":1209.14,"body":"homeless and presumably, maybe"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1203.8600000000001,"endTime":1209.14,"body":"some shame that was put upon"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1209.14,"endTime":1212.2,"body":"them because of her being"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1209.14,"endTime":1212.2,"body":"unmarried and how her and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1212.2,"endTime":1215.6200000000001,"body":"Joseph's relationship started."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1212.2,"endTime":1215.6200000000001,"body":"But then Jesus, as a human"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1215.6200000000001,"endTime":1219.16,"body":"being, fully God, fully man, he"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1215.6200000000001,"endTime":1219.16,"body":"grows up. And surely he was"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1219.16,"endTime":1223.08,"body":"picked on, and surely as he"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1219.16,"endTime":1223.08,"body":"played on the playground, you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1223.08,"endTime":1226.8,"body":"know, Jesus, because He was God,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1223.08,"endTime":1226.8,"body":"didn't mean that he kicked the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1226.8,"endTime":1230.04,"body":"kickball or the soccer ball the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1226.8,"endTime":1230.04,"body":"farthest, or that he pounded the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1230.04,"endTime":1232.8600000000001,"body":"nails the straightest. He was a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1230.04,"endTime":1232.8600000000001,"body":"human being. And part of his"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1233.16,"endTime":1236.16,"body":"experiencing, all of what we've"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1233.16,"endTime":1236.16,"body":"experienced for humanity, is he"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1236.16,"endTime":1239.76,"body":"probably hit his thumb with the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1236.16,"endTime":1239.76,"body":"hammer a lot, and had to go,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1239.82,"endTime":1242.72,"body":"Ouch. That hurts. And he'd go to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1239.82,"endTime":1242.72,"body":"Mary and say, you know, mommy,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1242.72,"endTime":1245.24,"body":"give kiss my boo boo. Kind of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1242.72,"endTime":1245.24,"body":"thing that we really have to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1245.24,"endTime":1249.02,"body":"imagine his humanity that way."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1245.24,"endTime":1249.02,"body":"But two things extraordinary"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1249.02,"endTime":1253.34,"body":"happen. There's there's that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1249.02,"endTime":1253.34,"body":"sense where, from the very"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1253.34,"endTime":1257.3,"body":"beginning, people have a sense"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1253.34,"endTime":1257.3,"body":"when Mary shows up at"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1257.3,"endTime":1259.34,"body":"Elizabeth's house, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1257.3,"endTime":1259.34,"body":"Elizabeth, of course, is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1259.34,"endTime":1262.6,"body":"pregnant with John the Baptist."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1259.34,"endTime":1262.6,"body":"She. Says, Who am I that the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1262.6,"endTime":1266.92,"body":"mother of my Lord would be here?"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1262.6,"endTime":1266.92,"body":"And so right away, there's this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1266.92,"endTime":1270.82,"body":"story that's being unraveled,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1266.92,"endTime":1270.82,"body":"that there's something very"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1270.82,"endTime":1274.54,"body":"special about this little boy,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1270.82,"endTime":1274.54,"body":"and I think that specialness"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1274.78,"endTime":1280.48,"body":"isn't just this, aha, He's the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1274.78,"endTime":1280.48,"body":"Messiah, but aha, this child is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1280.48,"endTime":1284.4,"body":"connected to divine reality."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1280.48,"endTime":1284.4,"body":"They wouldn't have called him"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1284.46,"endTime":1288.0,"body":"Abba at that point. But this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1284.46,"endTime":1288.0,"body":"child is connected to heaven."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1288.0,"endTime":1292.32,"body":"This child is connected to love"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1288.0,"endTime":1292.32,"body":"itself, to Yahweh. And as he"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1292.32,"endTime":1295.6200000000001,"body":"grew, they find him in the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1292.32,"endTime":1295.6200000000001,"body":"temple when He disappears. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1295.6200000000001,"endTime":1298.08,"body":"even there, he says, didn't you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1295.6200000000001,"endTime":1298.08,"body":"know I'd be about my Father's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1298.08,"endTime":1301.16,"body":"business. And again, it's more"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1298.08,"endTime":1301.16,"body":"than just he. He has a real"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1301.16,"endTime":1303.6200000000001,"body":"insight into the Hebrew"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1301.16,"endTime":1303.6200000000001,"body":"scriptures, but there's a sense"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1303.6200000000001,"endTime":1306.92,"body":"where he and the Father are"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1303.6200000000001,"endTime":1306.92,"body":"connected in a way where he's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1306.92,"endTime":1310.34,"body":"just off doing what the Father"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1306.92,"endTime":1310.34,"body":"tells him to do, and when Jesus"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1310.34,"endTime":1312.8600000000001,"body":"said, I don't do anything that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1310.34,"endTime":1312.8600000000001,"body":"the father doesn't tell me to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1312.8600000000001,"endTime":1315.32,"body":"do, he wasn't just speaking"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1312.8600000000001,"endTime":1315.32,"body":"about it from that day forward."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1315.32,"endTime":1317.84,"body":"I presume it was his whole life."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1315.32,"endTime":1317.84,"body":"But here's the beautiful thing"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1317.84,"endTime":1322.48,"body":"about this attachment that Jesus"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1317.84,"endTime":1322.48,"body":"had, that I think is a is so"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1322.48,"endTime":1325.72,"body":"poignant that before Jesus goes"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1322.48,"endTime":1325.72,"body":"into the desert, and we see this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1325.72,"endTime":1331.0,"body":"in the in the book of John,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1325.72,"endTime":1331.0,"body":"Jesus is being baptized, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1331.0,"endTime":1336.1,"body":"before he gets dunked by his"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1331.0,"endTime":1336.1,"body":"cousin, John, uh, heavens break"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1336.1,"endTime":1340.78,"body":"open, and the father says, This"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1336.1,"endTime":1340.78,"body":"is my Son, whom I love, And with"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1340.78,"endTime":1347.46,"body":"him, I am well pleased God, the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1340.78,"endTime":1347.46,"body":"father sees him. God is in that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1347.46,"endTime":1353.52,"body":"intruding and the dove that is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1347.46,"endTime":1353.52,"body":"descending, he's soothing Jesus."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1353.58,"endTime":1357.96,"body":"He's giving Jesus a sense of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1353.58,"endTime":1357.96,"body":"safety that I am present. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1357.96,"endTime":1360.9,"body":"there's a basic security, a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1357.96,"endTime":1360.9,"body":"secure attachment. And why is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1360.9,"endTime":1363.68,"body":"that important in the story,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1360.9,"endTime":1363.68,"body":"because the very next thing that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1363.68,"endTime":1366.6200000000001,"body":"happens when you go into the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1363.68,"endTime":1366.6200000000001,"body":"next chapter is he's in the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1366.6200000000001,"endTime":1370.04,"body":"desert being tempted by the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1366.6200000000001,"endTime":1370.04,"body":"devil for 40 days. And we know"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1370.04,"endTime":1373.4,"body":"that story and and it was a big"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1370.04,"endTime":1373.4,"body":"deal because angels had to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1373.4,"endTime":1376.4,"body":"attend to him. There's another"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1373.4,"endTime":1376.4,"body":"extra kindness of God in terms"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1376.4,"endTime":1379.4,"body":"of security and the well being"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1376.4,"endTime":1379.4,"body":"of his soul. But it's as if the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1379.4,"endTime":1383.38,"body":"narrative is God is saying you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1379.4,"endTime":1383.38,"body":"are going to be tempted so"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1383.38,"endTime":1387.28,"body":"deeply and suffer so much with"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1383.38,"endTime":1387.28,"body":"your hunger and your thirst and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1387.58,"endTime":1391.24,"body":"and your temptation will be like"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1387.58,"endTime":1391.24,"body":"Adam and Eve to turn away from"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1391.24,"endTime":1394.24,"body":"me and to turn towards someone"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1391.24,"endTime":1394.24,"body":"or something that's going to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1394.24,"endTime":1398.38,"body":"give you power and promise that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1394.24,"endTime":1398.38,"body":"you can be okay without me. So"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1398.38,"endTime":1401.7,"body":"just know this. I want to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1398.38,"endTime":1401.7,"body":"initiate you. I want to dunk you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1401.7,"endTime":1404.46,"body":"underwater. When you come up out"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1401.7,"endTime":1404.46,"body":"of that water, you're going to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1404.46,"endTime":1408.9,"body":"see me saying, Son, you're mine,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1404.46,"endTime":1408.9,"body":"and I love you. And I think"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1408.9,"endTime":1412.92,"body":"that's the ultimate picture of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1408.9,"endTime":1412.92,"body":"secure attachment, perhaps"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1414.42,"endTime":1417.9,"body":"second only to the picture on"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1414.42,"endTime":1417.9,"body":"the cross of secure attachment."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1418.14,"endTime":1419.82,"body":"One of the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1418.14,"endTime":1419.82,"body":"things that you really said"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1419.82,"endTime":1424.76,"body":"there is you talk about the very"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1419.82,"endTime":1424.76,"body":"big and major importance of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1424.76,"endTime":1429.56,"body":"relational encounter and that"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1424.76,"endTime":1429.56,"body":"relational connection. A lot of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1429.56,"endTime":1435.08,"body":"times we have this, the belief"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1429.56,"endTime":1435.08,"body":"that I am loved, or I have the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1435.14,"endTime":1438.56,"body":"information, and I know the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1435.14,"endTime":1438.56,"body":"information, but I don't have"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1438.56,"endTime":1442.18,"body":"the lived experience that I am"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1438.56,"endTime":1442.18,"body":"loved, that only comes through"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1442.42,"endTime":1446.5,"body":"this relational encounter that"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1442.42,"endTime":1446.5,"body":"we have. How do we move from"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1446.56,"endTime":1451.96,"body":"this knowledge that this is"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1446.56,"endTime":1451.96,"body":"actually true to an embodied"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1452.2,"endTime":1458.32,"body":"experience that I am loved and I"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1452.2,"endTime":1458.32,"body":"could rewire my my body to move"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1458.32,"endTime":1460.42,"body":"forward in this world securely?"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1461.26,"endTime":1463.08,"body":"Well, I can"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1461.26,"endTime":1463.08,"body":"comment on that, not just"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1463.08,"endTime":1465.72,"body":"theoretically, but personally"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1463.08,"endTime":1465.72,"body":"and ultimately. That's why I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1465.72,"endTime":1469.32,"body":"wrote this book, is that, you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1465.72,"endTime":1469.32,"body":"know, my secret sauce as an"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1469.32,"endTime":1472.56,"body":"author and a therapist is that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1469.32,"endTime":1472.56,"body":"I've lived this, and I've"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1472.56,"endTime":1476.34,"body":"experienced a deeply broken life"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1472.56,"endTime":1476.34,"body":"and experienced profound healing"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1476.34,"endTime":1480.3,"body":"and redemption. I think we have"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1476.34,"endTime":1480.3,"body":"to tell the truth, and we don't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1480.3,"endTime":1483.32,"body":"like the truth. You know,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1480.3,"endTime":1483.32,"body":"Christians are big into God's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1483.32,"endTime":1485.48,"body":"word. Is the truth, and the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1483.32,"endTime":1485.48,"body":"truth will set you free, but"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1485.48,"endTime":1489.14,"body":"truth is like a coin with two"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1485.48,"endTime":1489.14,"body":"sides. I'm holding up to the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1489.14,"endTime":1493.34,"body":"camera, a coaster. It's made of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1489.14,"endTime":1493.34,"body":"terrazzo tile, and on one side"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1493.34,"endTime":1496.04,"body":"of it there's dots, and on the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1493.34,"endTime":1496.04,"body":"other side there's cork. And if,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1496.04,"endTime":1499.76,"body":"if truth is like this, this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1496.04,"endTime":1499.76,"body":"coaster or like a coin, one side"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1500.0,"endTime":1503.26,"body":"is the truth of who God is, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1500.0,"endTime":1503.26,"body":"that's revealed in his word. But"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1503.26,"endTime":1508.48,"body":"then the other side is the truth"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1503.26,"endTime":1508.48,"body":"of who I am. And many Christians"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1508.48,"endTime":1512.5,"body":"I've, I've witnessed over the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1508.48,"endTime":1512.5,"body":"years, and I myself included, we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1512.5,"endTime":1515.56,"body":"have two selves. There's the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1512.5,"endTime":1515.56,"body":"Public Self and the private"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1515.56,"endTime":1519.4,"body":"self. And the Public Self is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1515.56,"endTime":1519.4,"body":"just fine, and we show up for"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1519.4,"endTime":1522.6,"body":"church and we look good, and the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1519.4,"endTime":1522.6,"body":"private self, in my own story,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1522.6,"endTime":1526.74,"body":"was addicted, filled with shame,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1522.6,"endTime":1526.74,"body":"had a history of abuse that a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1526.74,"endTime":1529.92,"body":"lot of I couldn't remember"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1526.74,"endTime":1529.92,"body":"because I pushed it out. A lot"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1529.92,"endTime":1532.6200000000001,"body":"of I remembered and I didn't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1529.92,"endTime":1532.6200000000001,"body":"want to deal with I told myself,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1532.6200000000001,"endTime":1535.38,"body":"I have Jesus. I'm a new creation"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1532.6200000000001,"endTime":1535.38,"body":"in Christ, so I can just move"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1535.38,"endTime":1538.8600000000001,"body":"on. So we have to tell ourselves"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1535.38,"endTime":1538.8600000000001,"body":"the truth about what is my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1538.8600000000001,"endTime":1544.94,"body":"story, not just the past, but"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1538.8600000000001,"endTime":1544.94,"body":"right now is my life, the life"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1544.94,"endTime":1548.48,"body":"that I actually signed up for"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1544.94,"endTime":1548.48,"body":"when I received Christ. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1548.48,"endTime":1551.96,"body":"so I I remember being led to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1548.48,"endTime":1551.96,"body":"Jesus and hearing this wonderful"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1551.96,"endTime":1555.08,"body":"story of abundant life, and over"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1551.96,"endTime":1555.08,"body":"and over and over again for the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1555.08,"endTime":1558.44,"body":"first 15 years of my faith, that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1555.08,"endTime":1558.44,"body":"was like, I'm doing all kinds of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1558.44,"endTime":1560.9,"body":"things for God. I'm praying, I'm"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1558.44,"endTime":1560.9,"body":"trying to lead people to Christ."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1560.98,"endTime":1563.38,"body":"To memorize the Scripture. I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1560.98,"endTime":1563.38,"body":"don't feel like I've got an"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1563.38,"endTime":1566.14,"body":"abundant life. I know I look"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1563.38,"endTime":1566.14,"body":"good to other people, but if"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1566.14,"endTime":1570.52,"body":"they saw me on the inside so the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1566.14,"endTime":1570.52,"body":"truth will what John tells us,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1570.52,"endTime":1575.44,"body":"it will set us free. And if I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1570.52,"endTime":1575.44,"body":"begin to tell the truth to God"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1575.5,"endTime":1579.16,"body":"and at least one other person,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1575.5,"endTime":1579.16,"body":"the Bible calls that humility."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1579.52,"endTime":1582.72,"body":"Thomas Merton said that humility"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1579.52,"endTime":1582.72,"body":"is being precisely who we are"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1583.08,"endTime":1587.82,"body":"before God and maybe one other"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1583.08,"endTime":1587.82,"body":"person. If I humble myself like"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1587.82,"endTime":1591.24,"body":"that, then the parts of me that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1587.82,"endTime":1591.24,"body":"I feel are unlovable, the parts"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1591.24,"endTime":1595.5,"body":"of me that feel shame, the parts"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1591.24,"endTime":1595.5,"body":"of me that feel exiled or that I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1595.5,"endTime":1599.04,"body":"have to protect, I can start to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1595.5,"endTime":1599.04,"body":"be loved, and those parts of me"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1599.04,"endTime":1603.02,"body":"can start to be cared for. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1599.04,"endTime":1603.02,"body":"ultimately, and this is back to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1603.02,"endTime":1606.56,"body":"your your central question, I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1603.02,"endTime":1606.56,"body":"can begin to be an integrated"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1606.56,"endTime":1610.22,"body":"human being, because these parts"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1606.56,"endTime":1610.22,"body":"of me that I've had to disown or"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1610.22,"endTime":1614.3,"body":"dislike, they no longer have to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1610.22,"endTime":1614.3,"body":"be shoved down or put away in a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1614.48,"endTime":1620.24,"body":"safe I can now be the person"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1614.48,"endTime":1620.24,"body":"that I actually am, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1620.24,"endTime":1622.9,"body":"therefore the person that I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1620.24,"endTime":1622.9,"body":"actually am could begin to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1622.9,"endTime":1627.04,"body":"attach to get my needs met in a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1622.9,"endTime":1627.04,"body":"healthy way by others, by God,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1627.52,"endTime":1632.32,"body":"and it begins to reshape"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1627.52,"endTime":1632.32,"body":"everything in our lives that we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1632.32,"endTime":1635.44,"body":"don't have to pretend, we don't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1632.32,"endTime":1635.44,"body":"have to strive, we don't have to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1635.44,"endTime":1638.56,"body":"be better than we are, and we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1635.44,"endTime":1638.56,"body":"don't have to somehow become"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1638.56,"endTime":1640.3600000000001,"body":"diminished or be less than we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1638.56,"endTime":1640.3600000000001,"body":"actually are."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1640.84,"endTime":1642.96,"body":"Reminds me of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1640.84,"endTime":1642.96,"body":"James, right? Confess your sins"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1642.96,"endTime":1646.98,"body":"one to another, and you will be"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1642.96,"endTime":1646.98,"body":"healed, which, if you say sin is"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1646.98,"endTime":1650.7,"body":"mishandling of pain, so confess"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1646.98,"endTime":1650.7,"body":"your mishandling of your pain"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1650.88,"endTime":1653.94,"body":"one to another, you're going to"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1650.88,"endTime":1653.94,"body":"be healed. That's the first step"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1653.94,"endTime":1658.5,"body":"right in that moving forward."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1653.94,"endTime":1658.5,"body":"Oftentimes people are like, hey,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1658.5,"endTime":1661.22,"body":"this sounds great. Okay, I'm"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1658.5,"endTime":1661.22,"body":"just gonna be vulnerable with"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1661.22,"endTime":1664.76,"body":"one, with God, with one other"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1661.22,"endTime":1664.76,"body":"person, and then my life is"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1664.76,"endTime":1667.82,"body":"going to be much better, because"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1664.76,"endTime":1667.82,"body":"I'm just going to be who I am."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1668.06,"endTime":1672.92,"body":"How does that attachment help us"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1668.06,"endTime":1672.92,"body":"move forward in a healthy way,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1673.28,"endTime":1678.02,"body":"rather than reverting back into"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1673.28,"endTime":1678.02,"body":"similar patterns of what we have"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1678.02,"endTime":1678.6200000000001,"body":"been doing?"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1679.64,"endTime":1681.88,"body":"Yeah, well,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1679.64,"endTime":1681.88,"body":"if it's okay, I'd like to stop"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1681.88,"endTime":1684.7,"body":"and define some terms, because"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1681.88,"endTime":1684.7,"body":"we're both using the word"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1684.7,"endTime":1687.34,"body":"attachment, and what I've"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1684.7,"endTime":1687.34,"body":"discovered is that a lot of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1687.34,"endTime":1690.82,"body":"people are hearing that word and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1687.34,"endTime":1690.82,"body":"even using that word and and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1690.82,"endTime":1694.06,"body":"they get confused between two"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1690.82,"endTime":1694.06,"body":"different things. Let's first"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1694.06,"endTime":1699.28,"body":"define attachment. Attachment is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1694.06,"endTime":1699.28,"body":"a neuro biological human need"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1699.34,"endTime":1704.58,"body":"that an infant has when they are"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1699.34,"endTime":1704.58,"body":"born for their immature brain"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1704.58,"endTime":1707.46,"body":"that has not been developed. So"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1704.58,"endTime":1707.46,"body":"when I say immature, that's not"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1707.46,"endTime":1709.92,"body":"a judgment statement. That's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1707.46,"endTime":1709.92,"body":"that their brain has not been"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1709.92,"endTime":1714.24,"body":"developed. Their brain that is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1709.92,"endTime":1714.24,"body":"undeveloped and immature has to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1714.24,"endTime":1720.78,"body":"draw upon the mature brain of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1714.24,"endTime":1720.78,"body":"the adult caregiver, presumably"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1720.78,"endTime":1724.1,"body":"the parent, and that that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1720.78,"endTime":1724.1,"body":"happens when the parent is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1724.1,"endTime":1727.94,"body":"attuned, when they see, when"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1724.1,"endTime":1727.94,"body":"they soothe, when they create a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1727.94,"endTime":1730.94,"body":"sense of safety, physically and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1727.94,"endTime":1730.94,"body":"emotionally, and provide a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1730.94,"endTime":1735.38,"body":"secure environment for that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1730.94,"endTime":1735.38,"body":"child to be completely dependent"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1735.68,"endTime":1740.54,"body":"and needy and to receive care."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1735.68,"endTime":1740.54,"body":"And to the degree that that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1740.54,"endTime":1747.76,"body":"happens resources that child to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1740.54,"endTime":1747.76,"body":"be able to sense within"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1747.76,"endTime":1750.4,"body":"themselves what's what's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1747.76,"endTime":1750.4,"body":"happening in the world, and to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1750.4,"endTime":1754.78,"body":"be able to organize themselves"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1750.4,"endTime":1754.78,"body":"in the world. If that, if that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1754.96,"endTime":1759.16,"body":"attachment process doesn't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1754.96,"endTime":1759.16,"body":"happen, that infant that grows"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1759.16,"endTime":1764.58,"body":"for 1016, 60 years old, they"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1759.16,"endTime":1764.58,"body":"won't be able to self soothe,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1764.64,"endTime":1767.7,"body":"and they'll be much more likely"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1764.64,"endTime":1767.7,"body":"to turn to addictions,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1767.76,"endTime":1774.06,"body":"compulsive behavior, unhealthy"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1767.76,"endTime":1774.06,"body":"belief systems that will"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1774.06,"endTime":1779.4,"body":"reinforce how they get their"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1774.06,"endTime":1779.4,"body":"soothing, not in healthy, safe"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1779.4,"endTime":1783.38,"body":"relationships, But in unhealthy"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1779.4,"endTime":1783.38,"body":"and sometimes harmful ways, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1783.38,"endTime":1787.04,"body":"then it affects their ability to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1783.38,"endTime":1787.04,"body":"move into the world and to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1787.04,"endTime":1789.6200000000001,"body":"organize their world in a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1787.04,"endTime":1789.6200000000001,"body":"certain way. So that's what"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1789.6200000000001,"endTime":1793.7,"body":"that's what attachment is. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1789.6200000000001,"endTime":1793.7,"body":"about 60% of Americans were told"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1793.7,"endTime":1796.88,"body":"have a secure attachment. Most"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1793.7,"endTime":1796.88,"body":"therapists and probably senior"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1796.88,"endTime":1800.66,"body":"pastors will tell you that it's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1796.88,"endTime":1800.66,"body":"more 40% people with secure"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1800.66,"endTime":1803.68,"body":"attachment. And then there's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1800.66,"endTime":1803.68,"body":"attachment styles, and that's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1803.68,"endTime":1807.58,"body":"the second definition. An"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1803.68,"endTime":1807.58,"body":"attachment style comes as a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1807.58,"endTime":1810.34,"body":"result of that attachment"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1807.58,"endTime":1810.34,"body":"process. And that's basically"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1810.34,"endTime":1815.68,"body":"how we show up in the world,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1810.34,"endTime":1815.68,"body":"relationally, to get our needs"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1815.68,"endTime":1820.1200000000001,"body":"met for closeness and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1815.68,"endTime":1820.1200000000001,"body":"connection. And so the person"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1820.3600000000001,"endTime":1823.68,"body":"that has not had a strong"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1820.3600000000001,"endTime":1823.68,"body":"attachment process where they've"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1823.68,"endTime":1826.6200000000001,"body":"been seen, sooth, safe and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1823.68,"endTime":1826.6200000000001,"body":"secure, they're going to show up"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1826.6200000000001,"endTime":1830.52,"body":"in the world in one of three"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1826.6200000000001,"endTime":1830.52,"body":"ways. One is, they'll be anxious"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1830.58,"endTime":1832.74,"body":"relationally. So they're"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1830.58,"endTime":1832.74,"body":"working, they're striving,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1832.74,"endTime":1836.28,"body":"they're co dependent, sometimes"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1832.74,"endTime":1836.28,"body":"clinging to this relationship,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1836.28,"endTime":1839.22,"body":"trying to get their needs met."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1836.28,"endTime":1839.22,"body":"And if that person doesn't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1839.22,"endTime":1842.78,"body":"connect, reciprocate or meet"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1839.22,"endTime":1842.78,"body":"their needs, then there will be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1842.78,"endTime":1846.32,"body":"a lot of anxiety and working to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1842.78,"endTime":1846.32,"body":"get that person to engage with"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1846.32,"endTime":1848.9,"body":"them in an affirming kind of a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1846.32,"endTime":1848.9,"body":"way, that's called anxious"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1848.9,"endTime":1852.8600000000001,"body":"attachment. Then there's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1848.9,"endTime":1852.8600000000001,"body":"avoidant attachment, which is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1852.8600000000001,"endTime":1857.24,"body":"just the opposite, where the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1852.8600000000001,"endTime":1857.24,"body":"idea of connecting actually"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1857.42,"endTime":1860.9,"body":"causes a significant amount of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1857.42,"endTime":1860.9,"body":"anxiety, and so the person."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1860.98,"endTime":1864.16,"body":"Person stays withdrawn and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1860.98,"endTime":1864.16,"body":"disengaged, or the moment they"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1864.16,"endTime":1866.8,"body":"start to become close to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1864.16,"endTime":1866.8,"body":"someone, they're out of there."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1866.8,"endTime":1870.04,"body":"And then there's that bivalent"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1866.8,"endTime":1870.04,"body":"attachment, which has, if you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1870.04,"endTime":1873.22,"body":"will, the best of both worlds of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1870.04,"endTime":1873.22,"body":"that. So it can be close, kind"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1873.22,"endTime":1877.3600000000001,"body":"of a come here, go away, kind of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1873.22,"endTime":1877.3600000000001,"body":"thing. And a lot of what I talk"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1877.3600000000001,"endTime":1880.0,"body":"about in the book is how those"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1877.3600000000001,"endTime":1880.0,"body":"attachment styles actually"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1880.0,"endTime":1883.5,"body":"become a basis for how we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1880.0,"endTime":1883.5,"body":"experience God and why we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1883.5,"endTime":1886.98,"body":"oftentimes don't connect with"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1883.5,"endTime":1886.98,"body":"Him as God, as Kurt Thompson"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1886.98,"endTime":1890.16,"body":"says God inherits all the same"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1886.98,"endTime":1890.16,"body":"neural networks that are in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1890.16,"endTime":1893.1,"body":"place with other people, that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1890.16,"endTime":1893.1,"body":"play out"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1893.46,"endTime":1896.88,"body":"now as we have"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1893.46,"endTime":1896.88,"body":"these insecure attachment"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1896.88,"endTime":1900.66,"body":"avoidance attachments, whatever"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1896.88,"endTime":1900.66,"body":"attachments we have, but we're"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1900.66,"endTime":1904.76,"body":"actually trying to receive from"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1900.66,"endTime":1904.76,"body":"God, a secure attachment from"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1904.76,"endTime":1907.82,"body":"him, and so that we're looking"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1904.76,"endTime":1907.82,"body":"for healing and growth and"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1907.82,"endTime":1912.68,"body":"moving forward, how do we take"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1907.82,"endTime":1912.68,"body":"those steps to move forward into"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1912.8,"endTime":1917.72,"body":"reorienting our lives towards a"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":1912.8,"endTime":1917.72,"body":"secure attachment with God?"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1919.16,"endTime":1921.46,"body":"So"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1919.16,"endTime":1921.46,"body":"Psychologists call this earned"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1921.46,"endTime":1924.76,"body":"secure attachment, that idea"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1921.46,"endTime":1924.76,"body":"that you can go from an"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1924.76,"endTime":1927.88,"body":"insecure, unhealthy attachment,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1924.76,"endTime":1927.88,"body":"either avoidant, anxious or"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1927.88,"endTime":1930.82,"body":"ambivalent, to having a secure"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1927.88,"endTime":1930.82,"body":"attachment. I don't like the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1930.82,"endTime":1934.6,"body":"word earned, because to me,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1930.82,"endTime":1934.6,"body":"that's like, I've got to work"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1934.6,"endTime":1939.58,"body":"for that, right? It's more of a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1934.6,"endTime":1939.58,"body":"collaborative process, and I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1939.58,"endTime":1943.56,"body":"like to say a received"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1939.58,"endTime":1943.56,"body":"attachment, because actually"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1943.56,"endTime":1948.78,"body":"what happens is that we learn to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1943.56,"endTime":1948.78,"body":"receive love. And for many"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1948.78,"endTime":1953.46,"body":"people, myself included, the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1948.78,"endTime":1953.46,"body":"idea of being loved and of being"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1953.46,"endTime":1958.8600000000001,"body":"known was absolutely terrifying."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1953.46,"endTime":1958.8600000000001,"body":"And I've often said that love is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1958.8600000000001,"endTime":1963.32,"body":"more terrifying than judgment."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1958.8600000000001,"endTime":1963.32,"body":"That's why Romans two tells us"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1963.6200000000001,"endTime":1967.22,"body":"that it's God's kindness that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1963.6200000000001,"endTime":1967.22,"body":"leads us to repentance. Right? A"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1967.22,"endTime":1970.88,"body":"person may come to God because"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1967.22,"endTime":1970.88,"body":"of a threat of of whatever"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1971.3600000000001,"endTime":1973.52,"body":"belief system they have for"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1971.3600000000001,"endTime":1973.52,"body":"where they're going to go after"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1973.52,"endTime":1978.2,"body":"they die, but, but ultimately,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1973.52,"endTime":1978.2,"body":"the heart is won over through"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1978.2,"endTime":1982.54,"body":"kindness. And therefore how we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1978.2,"endTime":1982.54,"body":"have this received attachment,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1982.54,"endTime":1984.82,"body":"or this earned secure"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1982.54,"endTime":1984.82,"body":"attachment. How that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1984.82,"endTime":1989.92,"body":"transformation process happens"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1984.82,"endTime":1989.92,"body":"is we begin the long, slow"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1989.92,"endTime":1995.74,"body":"process of understanding why we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1989.92,"endTime":1995.74,"body":"can't trust love, and moving"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1995.74,"endTime":2001.46,"body":"into a space in an embodied way"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":1995.74,"endTime":2001.46,"body":"to learn how to trust love. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2001.46,"endTime":2004.4,"body":"as you alluded to earlier,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2001.46,"endTime":2004.4,"body":"there's a big difference between"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2004.4,"endTime":2007.52,"body":"understanding God loves me in my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2004.4,"endTime":2007.52,"body":"head, intellectually,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2007.7,"endTime":2011.72,"body":"cognitively, and an embodied"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2007.7,"endTime":2011.72,"body":"experience of that. And so as"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2011.72,"endTime":2015.38,"body":"people might begin to understand"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2011.72,"endTime":2015.38,"body":"their attachment process and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2015.38,"endTime":2019.58,"body":"their attachment style, oh, the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2015.38,"endTime":2019.58,"body":"reason why I can't experience"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2019.58,"endTime":2023.56,"body":"God or feel His presence is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2019.58,"endTime":2023.56,"body":"because I can't feel my own"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2023.56,"endTime":2028.9,"body":"presence. Years ago, Joshua, I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2023.56,"endTime":2028.9,"body":"read the classic book I'm sure"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2028.9,"endTime":2032.32,"body":"you're familiar with practicing"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2028.9,"endTime":2032.32,"body":"the presence of God. I got every"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2032.32,"endTime":2035.14,"body":"translation of it that I could"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2032.32,"endTime":2035.14,"body":"read, the modern ones, the old"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2035.14,"endTime":2037.66,"body":"ones. I was like, I'm gonna I'm"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2035.14,"endTime":2037.66,"body":"gonna figure this out. I made"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2037.66,"endTime":2040.06,"body":"three page outlines of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2037.66,"endTime":2040.06,"body":"everything. Brother Lawrence"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2040.06,"endTime":2043.68,"body":"said. I came up with acronyms."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2040.06,"endTime":2043.68,"body":"It didn't work. I was like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2043.68,"endTime":2046.44,"body":"no further along. I'm still"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2043.68,"endTime":2046.44,"body":"filled with shame and anxiety,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2046.44,"endTime":2050.1,"body":"and I was addicted back then,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2046.44,"endTime":2050.1,"body":"and it was just a few years ago"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2050.1,"endTime":2053.64,"body":"when I realized, how can I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2050.1,"endTime":2053.64,"body":"practice the presence of God if"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2053.64,"endTime":2058.74,"body":"I can't practice the presence of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2053.64,"endTime":2058.74,"body":"Michael? I was so anxious I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2058.74,"endTime":2062.54,"body":"couldn't be in a car without"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2058.74,"endTime":2062.54,"body":"turning on the radio. When cell"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2062.54,"endTime":2065.42,"body":"phones came about, I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2062.54,"endTime":2065.42,"body":"drive somewhere or wake up in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2065.42,"endTime":2069.5,"body":"the morning without calling a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2065.42,"endTime":2069.5,"body":"friend saying how you doing. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2069.56,"endTime":2072.14,"body":"my buddy Ian said to me one day"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2069.56,"endTime":2072.14,"body":"he goes, You're not calling"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2072.14,"endTime":2074.66,"body":"because you want to know how I'm"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2072.14,"endTime":2074.66,"body":"doing. You're calling because"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2074.66,"endTime":2077.48,"body":"you want to feel good checking"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2074.66,"endTime":2077.48,"body":"in with me like he saw through"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2077.48,"endTime":2083.68,"body":"my stuff, my my point being that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2077.48,"endTime":2083.68,"body":"how we develop a secure"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2083.68,"endTime":2086.5,"body":"attachment goes back to what you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2083.68,"endTime":2086.5,"body":"are already actually said in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2086.5,"endTime":2089.98,"body":"James chapter five. We all know"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2086.5,"endTime":2089.98,"body":"the part about you know, confess"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2089.98,"endTime":2093.22,"body":"your sins and you'll be healed."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2089.98,"endTime":2093.22,"body":"But let's look at that passage"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2093.22,"endTime":2096.52,"body":"through an attachment lens. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2093.22,"endTime":2096.52,"body":"my friend, Auntie Colbert, the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2096.52,"endTime":2099.3399999999997,"body":"therapist and author of the book"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2096.52,"endTime":2099.3399999999997,"body":"tri software, I think she's been"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2099.3399999999997,"endTime":2102.72,"body":"on your podcast, she said to me"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2099.3399999999997,"endTime":2102.72,"body":"one day, walking out of my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2102.72,"endTime":2107.52,"body":"office like this, this passing"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2102.72,"endTime":2107.52,"body":"comment, and it changed my life."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2108.12,"endTime":2112.86,"body":"She said, Michael, all theology"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2108.12,"endTime":2112.86,"body":"is attachment. And I would go so"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2112.86,"endTime":2115.98,"body":"far to say, after I've thought"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2112.86,"endTime":2115.98,"body":"about that, that all good"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2115.98,"endTime":2120.6,"body":"exegesis is attachment. You"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2115.98,"endTime":2120.6,"body":"know, how, how we interpret"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2120.6,"endTime":2124.34,"body":"Scripture, and so if, if the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2120.6,"endTime":2124.34,"body":"Trinity is relationship, in the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2124.34,"endTime":2129.68,"body":"beginning was relationship, then"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2124.34,"endTime":2129.68,"body":"that's basically attachment,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2129.68,"endTime":2132.8,"body":"that the Father Son and Spirit"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2129.68,"endTime":2132.8,"body":"are connected in unique ways."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2132.8,"endTime":2135.2,"body":"And as they pour into each"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2132.8,"endTime":2135.2,"body":"other, there's never a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2135.2,"endTime":2138.8,"body":"diminishment or a loss, but"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2135.2,"endTime":2138.8,"body":"actually an expansion, one"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2138.8,"endTime":2140.96,"body":"of the the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2138.8,"endTime":2140.96,"body":"questions I have. So as we're"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2140.96,"endTime":2144.4,"body":"moving through this, and we we"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2140.96,"endTime":2144.4,"body":"actually be able to sit with"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2144.4,"endTime":2147.34,"body":"ourselves, that we're present"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2144.4,"endTime":2147.34,"body":"with ourselves, and then we"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2147.34,"endTime":2152.08,"body":"could be present with God and"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2147.34,"endTime":2152.08,"body":"receive love. There's two things"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2152.08,"endTime":2157.0,"body":"that I want to get to. Let's go"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2152.08,"endTime":2157.0,"body":"with Peter first, and how Peter"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2157.06,"endTime":2160.78,"body":"actually interacted with Jesus,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2157.06,"endTime":2160.78,"body":"and that foot washing. And then"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2160.78,"endTime":2164.82,"body":"he. Even through the denial of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2160.78,"endTime":2164.82,"body":"Christ at the cross and then the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2164.82,"endTime":2168.9,"body":"redemption later of Peter, of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2164.82,"endTime":2168.9,"body":"actually Jesus, saying, Do you"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2168.9,"endTime":2174.06,"body":"love me? How has is his story?"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2168.9,"endTime":2174.06,"body":"How did he move into a place of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2174.12,"endTime":2177.9,"body":"being able to receive love when"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2174.12,"endTime":2177.9,"body":"he first wasn't?"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2179.22,"endTime":2180.96,"body":"Yeah, so"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2179.22,"endTime":2180.96,"body":"everybody knows Peter is the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2180.96,"endTime":2186.14,"body":"impulsive, somewhat cocky, speak"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2180.96,"endTime":2186.14,"body":"before you think kind of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2186.14,"endTime":2191.18,"body":"disciple. And first you have"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2186.14,"endTime":2191.18,"body":"Jesus pulling him aside and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2191.18,"endTime":2195.8,"body":"saying, you are no longer you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2191.18,"endTime":2195.8,"body":"are no longer Simon. You are"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2195.8,"endTime":2200.78,"body":"Narcissus or Peter or the rock."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2195.8,"endTime":2200.78,"body":"And the great irony is anybody"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2200.78,"endTime":2203.68,"body":"who's already read the gospel,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2200.78,"endTime":2203.68,"body":"and then you go back to that,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2203.68,"endTime":2206.5,"body":"you're like, Okay, how can that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2203.68,"endTime":2206.5,"body":"be? That God's gonna build his"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2206.5,"endTime":2209.14,"body":"church upon him? When Jesus"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2206.5,"endTime":2209.14,"body":"says, I'm gonna build My church"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2209.14,"endTime":2213.52,"body":"upon you, Jesus presumably knows"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2209.14,"endTime":2213.52,"body":"that he's gonna blow it"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2213.52,"endTime":2217.06,"body":"significantly. Well, here's this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2213.52,"endTime":2217.06,"body":"calling, here's this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2217.06,"endTime":2220.06,"body":"orientation. And I bet you there"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2217.06,"endTime":2220.06,"body":"was something in Peter because"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2220.06,"endTime":2223.2,"body":"of his competence. And I'd like"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2220.06,"endTime":2223.2,"body":"to think that he's an Enneagram"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2223.26,"endTime":2225.6,"body":"eight, right? He's a good"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2223.26,"endTime":2225.6,"body":"leader. He can push into things."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2225.96,"endTime":2228.96,"body":"He's going, huh? Yeah, okay,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2225.96,"endTime":2228.96,"body":"that's quite an honor. I'm kind"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2228.96,"endTime":2231.48,"body":"of humbled by it, but I think"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2228.96,"endTime":2231.48,"body":"I've got this, I'm going to be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2231.48,"endTime":2233.76,"body":"able to make this happen for"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2231.48,"endTime":2233.76,"body":"Jesus. I'm going to build the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2233.76,"endTime":2238.2,"body":"church. And then he follows him"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2233.76,"endTime":2238.2,"body":"for three years, and we know all"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2238.2,"endTime":2241.02,"body":"the stories of his impulsivity,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2238.2,"endTime":2241.02,"body":"of stepping out of the boat,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2241.02,"endTime":2244.1,"body":"Lord, if it's you tell me to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2241.02,"endTime":2244.1,"body":"walk on water. But the the night"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2244.16,"endTime":2248.96,"body":"of the Last Supper, Jesus says,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2244.16,"endTime":2248.96,"body":"At that meal in John 13 um,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2250.1,"endTime":2254.42,"body":"after he talks about Judas being"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2250.1,"endTime":2254.42,"body":"the betrayer, he says to Simon,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2254.72,"endTime":2258.5,"body":"um, Simon Peter, you're going to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2254.72,"endTime":2258.5,"body":"deny me. And he says, I will"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2258.5,"endTime":2262.18,"body":"never deny you. Before the cock"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2258.5,"endTime":2262.18,"body":"crows three times you will. So"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2262.18,"endTime":2266.92,"body":"we know the story right? That"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2262.18,"endTime":2266.92,"body":"that he denies Him and He weeps"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2266.98,"endTime":2272.26,"body":"bitterly, by the way, the third"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2266.98,"endTime":2272.26,"body":"denial was to a little girl, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2272.44,"endTime":2278.5,"body":"just a small, fun little detail."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2272.44,"endTime":2278.5,"body":"And then Peter's restored in the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2278.5,"endTime":2285.6,"body":"story of the the disciples are"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2278.5,"endTime":2285.6,"body":"there on the beach, and Jesus is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2285.6,"endTime":2288.36,"body":"cooking breakfast for him, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2285.6,"endTime":2288.36,"body":"he tells them to pull their nets"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2288.36,"endTime":2292.08,"body":"from the other side, and they"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2288.36,"endTime":2292.08,"body":"get this big haul of fish. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2292.7400000000002,"endTime":2297.18,"body":"there's this contrast between"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2292.7400000000002,"endTime":2297.18,"body":"Peter, who weeps bitterly, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2297.18,"endTime":2300.3,"body":"who, in this moment of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2297.18,"endTime":2300.3,"body":"restoration, says to Jesus, Yes,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2300.3,"endTime":2303.86,"body":"Lord, I love you. When Jesus"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2300.3,"endTime":2303.86,"body":"asked three different times,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2304.58,"endTime":2308.54,"body":"symbolically for each of the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2304.58,"endTime":2308.54,"body":"betrayals, why did Peter go in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2308.54,"endTime":2311.18,"body":"the direction of weeping"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2308.54,"endTime":2311.18,"body":"bitterly and being able to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2311.18,"endTime":2315.62,"body":"receive that restoration, versus"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2311.18,"endTime":2315.62,"body":"Judas, who went and hung himself"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2315.62,"endTime":2318.38,"body":"and said, there's no hope. I've"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2315.62,"endTime":2318.38,"body":"got to offer myself. All hope is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2318.38,"endTime":2322.0,"body":"lost. I think it's because of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2318.38,"endTime":2322.0,"body":"this attachment lesson, if you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2322.0,"endTime":2325.42,"body":"will, that Jesus gave Peter"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2322.0,"endTime":2325.42,"body":"right before he told them that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2325.48,"endTime":2329.32,"body":"he was going to deny him at that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2325.48,"endTime":2329.32,"body":"meal. It says, After the meal is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2329.32,"endTime":2332.62,"body":"over, Jesus gets up, removes his"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2329.32,"endTime":2332.62,"body":"outer garment, and he kneels"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2332.62,"endTime":2334.84,"body":"down. He begins washing the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2332.62,"endTime":2334.84,"body":"disciples feet. He's going"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2334.84,"endTime":2337.6,"body":"around the circle, wash a foot,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2334.84,"endTime":2337.6,"body":"wash foot, wash foot, wash some"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2337.6,"endTime":2340.54,"body":"feet. He gets to Peter. Peter"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2337.6,"endTime":2340.54,"body":"says, Lord, you'll never wash my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2340.54,"endTime":2343.26,"body":"feet, which, of course, is like,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2340.54,"endTime":2343.26,"body":"I'm a good leader. You don't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2343.26,"endTime":2346.98,"body":"need to do this for me. I'm"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2343.26,"endTime":2346.98,"body":"good. I'm covered. And Jesus"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2346.98,"endTime":2351.9,"body":"says these, these spooky words,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2346.98,"endTime":2351.9,"body":"Peter, unless I wash you feet,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2351.9,"endTime":2356.64,"body":"you your feet. You can have no"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2351.9,"endTime":2356.64,"body":"part of me. Now, Jesus is not"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2356.64,"endTime":2359.4,"body":"saying Peter, you're not going"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2356.64,"endTime":2359.4,"body":"to go to heaven, because that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2359.4,"endTime":2361.7,"body":"wasn't actually part of Jesus"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2359.4,"endTime":2361.7,"body":"language. What he was saying"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2361.7,"endTime":2365.3,"body":"was, Peter, remember when I said"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2361.7,"endTime":2365.3,"body":"that I was going to build my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2365.3,"endTime":2369.02,"body":"church on you? You can't be a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2365.3,"endTime":2369.02,"body":"part of that vision, and you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2369.02,"endTime":2373.04,"body":"can't live in that kingdom"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2369.02,"endTime":2373.04,"body":"reality apart from your ego and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2373.04,"endTime":2376.28,"body":"your brokenness and in your"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2373.04,"endTime":2376.28,"body":"impulsiveness. And what you are"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2376.28,"endTime":2379.1,"body":"going to have to learn for"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2376.28,"endTime":2379.1,"body":"what's going to happen in about"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2379.1,"endTime":2382.12,"body":"four or five hours, and what"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2379.1,"endTime":2382.12,"body":"you're going to have to learn to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2382.12,"endTime":2386.86,"body":"lead the church is how to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2382.12,"endTime":2386.86,"body":"receive and so I think that that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2386.86,"endTime":2392.14,"body":"foot washing for Peter is Peter,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2386.86,"endTime":2392.14,"body":"you're way more vulnerable than"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2392.14,"endTime":2397.18,"body":"you think. So let me this god"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2392.14,"endTime":2397.18,"body":"man that you've come to dedicate"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2397.18,"endTime":2402.2400000000002,"body":"your life to. Let me kneel down"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2397.18,"endTime":2402.2400000000002,"body":"and become small in my outer"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2402.2400000000002,"endTime":2406.26,"body":"garment. Let me tend to your"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2402.2400000000002,"endTime":2406.26,"body":"dirty, smelly callous feet. Let"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2406.26,"endTime":2409.32,"body":"me tend to this vulnerable part"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2406.26,"endTime":2409.32,"body":"of you that's socially"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2409.32,"endTime":2415.8,"body":"inappropriate, and let me love"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2409.32,"endTime":2415.8,"body":"you. And I think that that's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2415.8,"endTime":2419.94,"body":"what made the difference. When"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2415.8,"endTime":2419.94,"body":"Peter betrayed Jesus, he had"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2419.94,"endTime":2424.58,"body":"already had this experience that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2419.94,"endTime":2424.58,"body":"was embodied. It wasn't just a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2424.58,"endTime":2427.94,"body":"belief. Jesus didn't say, Hey,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2424.58,"endTime":2427.94,"body":"Peter, you can trust me that I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2427.94,"endTime":2430.94,"body":"love you after you deny me, by"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2427.94,"endTime":2430.94,"body":"the way, you know it's gonna be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2430.94,"endTime":2433.76,"body":"three times, but I'm really a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2430.94,"endTime":2433.76,"body":"good God, and you know this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2433.76,"endTime":2437.54,"body":"little cross thing, blah, blah,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2433.76,"endTime":2437.54,"body":"blah. No, he embodied it, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2437.54,"endTime":2440.54,"body":"that touch was something that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2437.54,"endTime":2440.54,"body":"was now in Peter's muscle"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2440.54,"endTime":2446.5,"body":"memory, the soothing that Jesus"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2440.54,"endTime":2446.5,"body":"offered, and by the way, doing"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2446.5,"endTime":2449.44,"body":"that after the meal was over,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2446.5,"endTime":2449.44,"body":"when Jesus just said, I'm going"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2449.44,"endTime":2452.98,"body":"to betray you. That must have"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2449.44,"endTime":2452.98,"body":"gone into some of Peter's words"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2452.98,"endTime":2455.56,"body":"and resistance to having his"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2452.98,"endTime":2455.56,"body":"feet washed. But that's a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2455.56,"endTime":2459.28,"body":"beautiful picture of attachment,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2455.56,"endTime":2459.28,"body":"and this is why pediatricians"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2459.28,"endTime":2462.0,"body":"and obg away ends will tell."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2459.28,"endTime":2462.0,"body":"Parents, you know, the best"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2462.0,"endTime":2465.54,"body":"thing you can do at the moment"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2462.0,"endTime":2465.54,"body":"that your child is born and they"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2465.54,"endTime":2470.64,"body":"come out is to do skin on skin"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2465.54,"endTime":2470.64,"body":"contact, because skin on skin"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2470.64,"endTime":2474.72,"body":"creates this chemical reaction"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2470.64,"endTime":2474.72,"body":"in both people, where oxytocin"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2474.72,"endTime":2478.56,"body":"is released, and oxytocin is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2474.72,"endTime":2478.56,"body":"known as the cuddle hormone, or"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2478.56,"endTime":2481.82,"body":"the bonding hormone. It's also"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2478.56,"endTime":2481.82,"body":"what's released when a mother"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2481.82,"endTime":2485.84,"body":"nurses in her breast milk,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2481.82,"endTime":2485.84,"body":"there's a release of oxytocin,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2486.14,"endTime":2489.38,"body":"which, if we thought about from"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2486.14,"endTime":2489.38,"body":"an evolutionary perspective, it"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2489.38,"endTime":2493.7,"body":"reinforces, even though mothers"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2489.38,"endTime":2493.7,"body":"are, especially in old cultures"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2493.7,"endTime":2496.52,"body":"where food was scarce, it gives"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2493.7,"endTime":2496.52,"body":"this positive chemical"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2496.52,"endTime":2500.06,"body":"reinforcement to nurse your"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2496.52,"endTime":2500.06,"body":"child for the proliferation of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2500.06,"endTime":2503.32,"body":"the species. And so it's just"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2500.06,"endTime":2503.32,"body":"brilliant how God has created us"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2503.32,"endTime":2504.4,"body":"this way. It's"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2504.4,"endTime":2506.68,"body":"pretty amazing."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2504.4,"endTime":2506.68,"body":"Skin on skin is really good."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2506.7400000000002,"endTime":2508.78,"body":"They grow up a little bit. It's"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2506.7400000000002,"endTime":2508.78,"body":"also really good to have"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2508.78,"endTime":2512.7400000000002,"body":"barbecue on the beach with your"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2508.78,"endTime":2512.7400000000002,"body":"friends as well. That that helps"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2512.86,"endTime":2513.34,"body":"a lot."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2513.76,"endTime":2515.14,"body":"Yeah, talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2513.76,"endTime":2515.14,"body":"embody."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2515.38,"endTime":2518.02,"body":"I know it's"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2515.38,"endTime":2518.02,"body":"perfect. My favorite story,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2518.5,"endTime":2521.88,"body":"that's that's why I love, I love"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2518.5,"endTime":2521.88,"body":"Kansas City Barbecue. You're"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2521.88,"endTime":2525.06,"body":"talking about this encounter"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2521.88,"endTime":2525.06,"body":"with God, this relational"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2525.06,"endTime":2528.54,"body":"encounter. I am sacredly"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2525.06,"endTime":2528.54,"body":"attached to God. I have this,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2528.6,"endTime":2532.86,"body":"this thing here. There are a lot"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2528.6,"endTime":2532.86,"body":"of times in our in our lives, I"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2532.86,"endTime":2538.7400000000002,"body":"think as we we grow up, we won"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2532.86,"endTime":2538.7400000000002,"body":"like Peter, we like say. We have"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2538.7400000000002,"endTime":2543.56,"body":"all the answers. We were smart."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2538.7400000000002,"endTime":2543.56,"body":"Then some disruption happens."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2543.92,"endTime":2548.72,"body":"And either we we go through some"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2543.92,"endTime":2548.72,"body":"sort of a crisis, and then we"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2548.72,"endTime":2551.6,"body":"get to the other side, and we're"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2548.72,"endTime":2551.6,"body":"starting to be able to then"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2551.6,"endTime":2554.54,"body":"receive when we go through"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2551.6,"endTime":2554.54,"body":"something like the dark night of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2554.54,"endTime":2559.4,"body":"the soul, where we feel that God"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2554.54,"endTime":2559.4,"body":"is distant or he's not there,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2559.52,"endTime":2562.6,"body":"what do we do? Because we're if"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2559.52,"endTime":2562.6,"body":"we're talking about relational"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2562.6,"endTime":2566.44,"body":"encounter, I've, I'm, I'm"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2562.6,"endTime":2566.44,"body":"somebody who likes to feel that."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2566.7400000000002,"endTime":2570.04,"body":"I want to feel this embodied"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2566.7400000000002,"endTime":2570.04,"body":"experience. I want to feel that"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2570.1,"endTime":2574.06,"body":"the presence of God is with me."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2570.1,"endTime":2574.06,"body":"But if I'm not feeling it, if"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2574.06,"endTime":2578.14,"body":"I'm going through those times,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2574.06,"endTime":2578.14,"body":"what helps us move through that"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2578.2,"endTime":2584.46,"body":"to know that God is still"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2578.2,"endTime":2584.46,"body":"present and we can move in this"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":2584.46,"endTime":2585.72,"body":"world with him."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2587.22,"endTime":2591.66,"body":"Wow, that's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2587.22,"endTime":2591.66,"body":"a great question. And it's also"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2591.66,"endTime":2595.86,"body":"like a whole year of seminary,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2591.66,"endTime":2595.86,"body":"right, in terms of unpacking"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2595.86,"endTime":2598.44,"body":"that, because there's so much"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2595.86,"endTime":2598.44,"body":"there, there's, there's a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2598.44,"endTime":2600.96,"body":"question you're asking about,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2598.44,"endTime":2600.96,"body":"you know, how do we find well"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2600.96,"endTime":2604.7,"body":"being for our soul and myth of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2600.96,"endTime":2604.7,"body":"suffering, there's a theodicy"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2604.7,"endTime":2609.2,"body":"question of, why do we suffer"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2604.7,"endTime":2609.2,"body":"and why is God seem far away so?"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2609.2,"endTime":2612.38,"body":"So let me say what will sound"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2609.2,"endTime":2612.38,"body":"like a trite answer initially,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2612.38,"endTime":2618.26,"body":"but this is where I want to end"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2612.38,"endTime":2618.26,"body":"up. We trust, and we trust that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2618.26,"endTime":2624.22,"body":"love has us, capital, l, o, v,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2618.26,"endTime":2624.22,"body":"e, that love has us true"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2624.22,"endTime":2627.82,"body":"confession. I wanted my book"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2624.22,"endTime":2627.82,"body":"initially to be called Love has"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2627.82,"endTime":2632.92,"body":"you. And the publishers and my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2627.82,"endTime":2632.92,"body":"agent and I, we came to a very"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2632.92,"endTime":2636.28,"body":"peaceful conclusion that it was"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2632.92,"endTime":2636.28,"body":"called sacred attachment. But"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2637.12,"endTime":2640.6,"body":"years ago, when I wrote surfing"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2637.12,"endTime":2640.6,"body":"for God, I sent a copy to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2640.6,"endTime":2643.5,"body":"Richard Rohr, who influenced my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2640.6,"endTime":2643.5,"body":"book, and he was so kind to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2643.5,"endTime":2648.18,"body":"write a handwritten note back,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2643.5,"endTime":2648.18,"body":"and the little sign off said,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2648.2400000000002,"endTime":2653.52,"body":"Love has you. Comma Richard, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2648.2400000000002,"endTime":2653.52,"body":"I immediately took that inside,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2653.52,"endTime":2659.1,"body":"and I thought that summarizes my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2653.52,"endTime":2659.1,"body":"journey. I actually feel today"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2659.4,"endTime":2663.68,"body":"back then considerably less, but"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2659.4,"endTime":2663.68,"body":"I I touched on it I feel today"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2663.68,"endTime":2668.78,"body":"in an embodied way like love has"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2663.68,"endTime":2668.78,"body":"me, and that has been a decades"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2668.78,"endTime":2672.62,"body":"long journey, that I was a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2668.78,"endTime":2672.62,"body":"Christian for 14 years and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2672.62,"endTime":2675.8,"body":"believed in God, and I believed"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2672.62,"endTime":2675.8,"body":"I was saved, and I believed in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2675.8,"endTime":2680.0,"body":"Jesus and could articulate the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2675.8,"endTime":2680.0,"body":"good news, but I never once felt"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2680.0,"endTime":2684.64,"body":"the love of God until my life"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2680.0,"endTime":2684.64,"body":"blew apart on July 10, 1994 when"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2684.64,"endTime":2691.12,"body":"I was caught in a sex addiction"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2684.64,"endTime":2691.12,"body":"and lying. And so we trust that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2691.12,"endTime":2694.18,"body":"love has us whether it's the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2691.12,"endTime":2694.18,"body":"worst day of our life and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2694.18,"endTime":2697.42,"body":"everything is blown apart, or"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2694.18,"endTime":2697.42,"body":"whether it's the best day of our"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2697.42,"endTime":2701.02,"body":"life, and we're afraid that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2697.42,"endTime":2701.02,"body":"things will blow apart. Now, the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2701.02,"endTime":2705.18,"body":"problem with that is that trust"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2701.02,"endTime":2705.18,"body":"is not something that can be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2705.18,"endTime":2709.7400000000002,"body":"done intellectual."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2705.18,"endTime":2709.7400000000002,"body":"Intellectually, trust must be an"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2709.7400000000002,"endTime":2714.2400000000002,"body":"embodied experience, whether"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2709.7400000000002,"endTime":2714.2400000000002,"body":"it's as simple as I'm holding up"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2714.2400000000002,"endTime":2719.04,"body":"my fist now on the camera that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2714.2400000000002,"endTime":2719.04,"body":"I'm holding on and then I have"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2719.04,"endTime":2723.32,"body":"to let go, and I have to trust"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2719.04,"endTime":2723.32,"body":"that whatever I'm letting go of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2723.32,"endTime":2726.32,"body":"that I'm going to be okay, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2723.32,"endTime":2726.32,"body":"so I either have to somehow"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2726.32,"endTime":2730.1,"body":"trust within myself, or I have"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2726.32,"endTime":2730.1,"body":"to trust in goodness outside of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2730.1,"endTime":2733.4,"body":"myself. As the 12 Steps talk"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2730.1,"endTime":2733.4,"body":"about trust in a higher power,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2733.4,"endTime":2736.88,"body":"something that's bigger and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2733.4,"endTime":2736.88,"body":"better than me. And for many"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2736.88,"endTime":2740.48,"body":"people, they can't trust not"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2736.88,"endTime":2740.48,"body":"because they have weak faith,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2740.96,"endTime":2745.36,"body":"but because their body has"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2740.96,"endTime":2745.36,"body":"experienced trauma, because"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2745.36,"endTime":2749.2,"body":"their nervous system is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2745.36,"endTime":2749.2,"body":"constantly dysregulated, because"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2749.2,"endTime":2754.72,"body":"maybe they're in a rice paddy in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2749.2,"endTime":2754.72,"body":"Cambodia or Thailand, or, you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2754.72,"endTime":2759.52,"body":"know, working crops in South"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2754.72,"endTime":2759.52,"body":"America 16 hours a day to feed"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2759.52,"endTime":2762.78,"body":"their children and. And they're"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2759.52,"endTime":2762.78,"body":"just trusting that they're going"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2762.78,"endTime":2765.2400000000002,"body":"to stay well and not get COVID"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2762.78,"endTime":2765.2400000000002,"body":"or something so their family"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2765.2400000000002,"endTime":2771.66,"body":"starves. My point is, is that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2765.2400000000002,"endTime":2771.66,"body":"trust is so complex and so multi"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2771.66,"endTime":2776.52,"body":"layered, and it really has to do"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2771.66,"endTime":2776.52,"body":"with whether we've been seen"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2776.52,"endTime":2780.42,"body":"sooth, safe and secure, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2776.52,"endTime":2780.42,"body":"ultimately, we will generally"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2780.42,"endTime":2783.86,"body":"trust to the degree that we have"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2780.42,"endTime":2783.86,"body":"a secure attachment, and if we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2783.86,"endTime":2786.56,"body":"don't have a secure attachment,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2783.86,"endTime":2786.56,"body":"it's avoidant, anxious or"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2786.56,"endTime":2790.76,"body":"ambivalent, then being a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2786.56,"endTime":2790.76,"body":"disciple and following Jesus is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2790.76,"endTime":2795.08,"body":"to follow him so close with"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2790.76,"endTime":2795.08,"body":"permission to be so messy and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2795.08,"endTime":2798.32,"body":"permission to be so broken,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2795.08,"endTime":2798.32,"body":"because God loves to inhabit and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2798.32,"endTime":2801.94,"body":"move toward all that's broken"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2798.32,"endTime":2801.94,"body":"and unfavorable, that in that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2801.94,"endTime":2806.08,"body":"process of being who we really"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2801.94,"endTime":2806.08,"body":"are, we begin to be parented by"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2806.08,"endTime":2812.32,"body":"the father and brother, by"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2806.08,"endTime":2812.32,"body":"Jesus, and nurtured, almost in a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2812.32,"endTime":2817.9,"body":"maternal way, by the Holy Spirit"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2812.32,"endTime":2817.9,"body":"and held within the Trinity. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2817.96,"endTime":2822.6,"body":"so I think one of the subtitles"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2817.96,"endTime":2822.6,"body":"in one of the chapters is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2823.26,"endTime":2827.28,"body":"beholding and being held. You"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2823.26,"endTime":2827.28,"body":"know, there's a play on words,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2827.28,"endTime":2831.2400000000002,"body":"with the word be held, and I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2827.28,"endTime":2831.2400000000002,"body":"have two tattoos. One is on my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2831.2400000000002,"endTime":2834.36,"body":"right arm, and I'm right handed."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2831.2400000000002,"endTime":2834.36,"body":"It says, Be still. That's my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2834.36,"endTime":2837.42,"body":"strength, and then my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2834.36,"endTime":2837.42,"body":"vulnerability, or my weakness,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2837.42,"endTime":2841.02,"body":"is my left hand, and it says, Be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2837.42,"endTime":2841.02,"body":"Loved. And it doesn't say"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2841.02,"endTime":2848.6,"body":"Beloved. It says, Be Loved. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2841.02,"endTime":2848.6,"body":"for me, how I have slowly,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2849.32,"endTime":2853.76,"body":"inefficiently developed a secure"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2849.32,"endTime":2853.76,"body":"attachment that I did not have"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2853.76,"endTime":2859.16,"body":"in my earlier life, in my 20s,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2853.76,"endTime":2859.16,"body":"30s, 40s, and most of my 50s is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2859.16,"endTime":2863.44,"body":"I've got to be still from all"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2859.16,"endTime":2863.44,"body":"the striving and the deep,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2864.22,"endTime":2866.92,"body":"deeply held belief that I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2864.22,"endTime":2866.92,"body":"somehow have to earn love and be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2866.92,"endTime":2870.58,"body":"good enough for God, and that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2866.92,"endTime":2870.58,"body":"the parts of me are not welcome."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2870.58,"endTime":2875.92,"body":"I need to be still, and then I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2870.58,"endTime":2875.92,"body":"need to be loved. I need to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2875.92,"endTime":2879.64,"body":"practice being loved. So let me"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2875.92,"endTime":2879.64,"body":"just kind of answer your"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2879.94,"endTime":2882.78,"body":"question a very concrete way. If"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2879.94,"endTime":2882.78,"body":"someone would come and say, how"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2882.78,"endTime":2886.7400000000002,"body":"do I grow as a Christian? That's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2882.78,"endTime":2886.7400000000002,"body":"a very different question from,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2886.7400000000002,"endTime":2890.46,"body":"how do I experience God's love?"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2886.7400000000002,"endTime":2890.46,"body":"But the answer is actually the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2890.46,"endTime":2894.84,"body":"same, how you grow as a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2890.46,"endTime":2894.84,"body":"Christian is, yes, you read your"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2894.84,"endTime":2897.48,"body":"Bible, yes, you pray, yes, you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2894.84,"endTime":2897.48,"body":"go to church or listen to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2897.48,"endTime":2903.86,"body":"podcasts and fellowship and cert"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2897.48,"endTime":2903.86,"body":"engage in service, but be loved."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2904.4,"endTime":2909.56,"body":"Let let the goodness of God and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2904.4,"endTime":2909.56,"body":"the mercy of God and the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2909.56,"endTime":2914.66,"body":"tenderness of God fall upon you."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2909.56,"endTime":2914.66,"body":"Position yourself to be gazed"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2914.66,"endTime":2920.12,"body":"upon interesting in Psalm 27"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2914.66,"endTime":2920.12,"body":"four. Well Psalm 27 most people"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2920.12,"endTime":2922.6,"body":"will know you know the Lord's my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2920.12,"endTime":2922.6,"body":"light and my salvation. Whom"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2922.6,"endTime":2925.18,"body":"shall I fear? He's a stronghold"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2922.6,"endTime":2925.18,"body":"of my life. Of whom shall I be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2925.18,"endTime":2928.36,"body":"afraid? And I memorized a lot of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2925.18,"endTime":2928.36,"body":"Scripture when I was a kid, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2928.36,"endTime":2930.46,"body":"I go, Lord, I believe that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2928.36,"endTime":2930.46,"body":"you're my light and my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2930.46,"endTime":2933.4,"body":"salvation. But I'm afraid. I'm"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2930.46,"endTime":2933.4,"body":"anxious, what's going on."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2934.36,"endTime":2936.76,"body":"Thought there was something"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2934.36,"endTime":2936.76,"body":"wrong with me. My faith wasn't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2936.76,"endTime":2940.18,"body":"strong enough. I hadn't somehow"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2936.76,"endTime":2940.18,"body":"deeply internalized that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2940.2400000000002,"endTime":2945.54,"body":"proposition enough. And then I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2940.2400000000002,"endTime":2945.54,"body":"got to verse four, several years"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2945.54,"endTime":2948.78,"body":"ago, and it says, it's David"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2945.54,"endTime":2948.78,"body":"saying one thing I ask of the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2948.78,"endTime":2952.02,"body":"Lord. This is what I seek, to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2948.78,"endTime":2952.02,"body":"gaze upon the beauty of the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2952.02,"endTime":2955.98,"body":"Lord, and to seek Him in His"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2952.02,"endTime":2955.98,"body":"temple, to dwell in the house of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2955.98,"endTime":2958.68,"body":"the Lord all the days of my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2955.98,"endTime":2958.68,"body":"life. And I heard in my head,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2958.68,"endTime":2961.94,"body":"well, what's the temple of the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2958.68,"endTime":2961.94,"body":"Lord that he wants to gaze upon,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2961.94,"endTime":2965.6,"body":"and what's the house of the Lord"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2961.94,"endTime":2965.6,"body":"that he wants to dwell in? It's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2965.66,"endTime":2969.2,"body":"me, it's him. We are the house"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2965.66,"endTime":2969.2,"body":"of the Lord. We are the temple."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2969.2,"endTime":2972.26,"body":"So maybe a paraphrase which"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2969.2,"endTime":2972.26,"body":"could answer this question of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2972.26,"endTime":2976.58,"body":"what it means to to be loved is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2972.26,"endTime":2976.58,"body":"one thing I ask of God. This is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2976.58,"endTime":2980.72,"body":"what I seek. To dwell within my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2976.58,"endTime":2980.72,"body":"own self, to dwell in my body,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2980.72,"endTime":2985.06,"body":"to be present, physically,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2980.72,"endTime":2985.06,"body":"emotionally, relationally,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2985.3,"endTime":2991.06,"body":"mentally, and to gaze upon God"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2985.3,"endTime":2991.06,"body":"within me, and therefore to be"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2991.06,"endTime":2994.2400000000002,"body":"present in my own life, so that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2991.06,"endTime":2994.2400000000002,"body":"I can actually be present to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2994.2400000000002,"endTime":2999.04,"body":"God. And then in that being"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2994.2400000000002,"endTime":2999.04,"body":"present to be gazed upon. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2999.7,"endTime":3002.9,"body":"it's almost as if David, as you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":2999.7,"endTime":3002.9,"body":"go through that whole Psalm, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3002.9,"endTime":3005.66,"body":"then at the end, he's like, Hey,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3002.9,"endTime":3005.66,"body":"my mother and father forsake me."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3005.72,"endTime":3010.4,"body":"If the attachment is completely"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3005.72,"endTime":3010.4,"body":"broken even, then will I trust"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3010.4,"endTime":3014.48,"body":"you? And there's this, this what"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3010.4,"endTime":3014.48,"body":"Eugene Peterson used to call the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3014.48,"endTime":3017.66,"body":"dialogic reality, right? So"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3014.48,"endTime":3017.66,"body":"there's a dialog going back and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3017.66,"endTime":3022.66,"body":"forth, but with no words, I am"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3017.66,"endTime":3022.66,"body":"being gazed upon by the God that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3022.66,"endTime":3026.38,"body":"looks like Jesus, not a God who"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3022.66,"endTime":3026.38,"body":"looks like Zeus or an Old"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3026.38,"endTime":3030.46,"body":"Testament person who's killing"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3026.38,"endTime":3030.46,"body":"40,000 ammonites all at once,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3030.82,"endTime":3036.88,"body":"but the God who looks like Jesus"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3030.82,"endTime":3036.88,"body":"and I am gazing upon him and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3036.88,"endTime":3041.14,"body":"that simple, still intimate"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3036.88,"endTime":3041.14,"body":"relationship, like two people"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3041.14,"endTime":3044.52,"body":"that have been married 60 years"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3041.14,"endTime":3044.52,"body":"sitting in rocking chairs next"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3044.52,"endTime":3048.06,"body":"to each other all afternoon,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3044.52,"endTime":3048.06,"body":"sipping lemonade. They don't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3048.06,"endTime":3051.96,"body":"need to say anything. They don't"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3048.06,"endTime":3051.96,"body":"need to exchange greeting cards."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3052.08,"endTime":3056.88,"body":"He's not doing the Love Dare."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3052.08,"endTime":3056.88,"body":"He's just they're just there"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3056.88,"endTime":3060.2400000000002,"body":"with each other, just deeply"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3056.88,"endTime":3060.2400000000002,"body":"trusting. And to use religious"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3060.2400000000002,"endTime":3063.56,"body":"words from John. John 15,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3060.2400000000002,"endTime":3063.56,"body":"they're abiding, they're"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3063.56,"endTime":3068.06,"body":"remaining, they're dwelling."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3063.56,"endTime":3068.06,"body":"They're just with that's that's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3068.06,"endTime":3072.08,"body":"beautiful. And I think that if,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3068.06,"endTime":3072.08,"body":"if Christians began to have"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3072.08,"endTime":3077.3,"body":"language and maybe a lens to see"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3072.08,"endTime":3077.3,"body":"that this is the foundation of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3077.3,"endTime":3080.72,"body":"all the heroic, triumphal,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3077.3,"endTime":3080.72,"body":"dynamic faith that we sometimes"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3080.72,"endTime":3083.7400000000002,"body":"believe we have to have, then"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3080.72,"endTime":3083.7400000000002,"body":"amazing things would happen in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3083.7400000000002,"endTime":3088.42,"body":"the kingdom, because then we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3083.7400000000002,"endTime":3088.42,"body":"would overflow. See Psalm 23 the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3088.42,"endTime":3091.2400000000002,"body":"picture there is Lord's my"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3088.42,"endTime":3091.2400000000002,"body":"shepherd. I shall not be want,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3091.2400000000002,"endTime":3093.82,"body":"green pastures, quiet waters"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3091.2400000000002,"endTime":3093.82,"body":"walking through the valley of"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3093.82,"endTime":3097.84,"body":"death. I'm not going to fear any"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3093.82,"endTime":3097.84,"body":"evil. And then it says, You"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3097.84,"endTime":3101.34,"body":"nourish me, but I'm actually at"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3097.84,"endTime":3101.34,"body":"a table with my enemies. That's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3101.34,"endTime":3104.7,"body":"how good you are, God. And then"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3101.34,"endTime":3104.7,"body":"you anoint my my head with oil."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3104.7,"endTime":3109.14,"body":"So you soothe me after you feed"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3104.7,"endTime":3109.14,"body":"me. And then it says, My cup"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3109.2,"endTime":3114.0,"body":"overflows. And I think my vision"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3109.2,"endTime":3114.0,"body":"for the kingdom is, I just"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3114.0,"endTime":3118.26,"body":"turned 60 years old, and I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3114.0,"endTime":3118.26,"body":"consider myself an old fart. My"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3118.26,"endTime":3121.46,"body":"vision for the Kingdom. And what"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3118.26,"endTime":3121.46,"body":"I pray for is I pray the Lord's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3121.46,"endTime":3124.22,"body":"Prayer of Thy kingdom come and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3121.46,"endTime":3124.22,"body":"Thy will be done is that people"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3124.22,"endTime":3128.78,"body":"would begin to dare to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3124.22,"endTime":3128.78,"body":"experience that the God that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3128.78,"endTime":3132.32,"body":"looks like Jesus actually longs"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3128.78,"endTime":3132.32,"body":"for this kind of a relationship,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3132.8,"endTime":3135.38,"body":"that that would be the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3132.8,"endTime":3135.38,"body":"foundation of everything, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3135.38,"endTime":3138.56,"body":"that God's kingdom comes into"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3135.38,"endTime":3138.56,"body":"the broken parts of Our souls,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3138.62,"endTime":3142.6,"body":"into the broken relationships,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3138.62,"endTime":3142.6,"body":"communities, societies,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3142.6,"endTime":3150.7,"body":"countries and world as we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3142.6,"endTime":3150.7,"body":"overflow spontaneously, because"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3150.76,"endTime":3154.96,"body":"we are still and we know that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3150.76,"endTime":3154.96,"body":"he's God. And out of that,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3156.04,"endTime":3158.86,"body":"something really wonderful"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3156.04,"endTime":3158.86,"body":"happens, even supernatural,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3160.18,"endTime":3163.5,"body":"that is"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3160.18,"endTime":3163.5,"body":"absolutely beautiful. I pray"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3163.5,"endTime":3165.66,"body":"that that happens, that"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3163.5,"endTime":3165.66,"body":"everybody who picks up your"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3165.66,"endTime":3169.38,"body":"books sacred attachment, which"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3165.66,"endTime":3169.38,"body":"is fantastic, that they will"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3169.38,"endTime":3173.46,"body":"know that they are loved, that"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3169.38,"endTime":3173.46,"body":"they could receive the love of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3173.46,"endTime":3176.52,"body":"the Father, that they can move"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3173.46,"endTime":3176.52,"body":"about the world in a way where"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3176.52,"endTime":3180.72,"body":"they are secured, securely"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3176.52,"endTime":3180.72,"body":"attached to God, and that they"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3180.72,"endTime":3185.78,"body":"can move about and be embodied"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3180.72,"endTime":3185.78,"body":"in this world with the love of"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3185.78,"endTime":3189.62,"body":"God, so that they can embody the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3185.78,"endTime":3189.62,"body":"love of God to the world."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3190.58,"endTime":3194.36,"body":"Fantastic. I have a couple"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3190.58,"endTime":3194.36,"body":"really quick questions at the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3194.36,"endTime":3197.84,"body":"end here. Michael, one, if you"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3194.36,"endTime":3197.84,"body":"go back to your 21 year old"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3197.84,"endTime":3199.88,"body":"self, what advice would you"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3197.84,"endTime":3199.88,"body":"give? Oh, wow."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3200.6,"endTime":3205.12,"body":"I think I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3200.6,"endTime":3205.12,"body":"would say I know exactly who you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3205.12,"endTime":3212.38,"body":"are, and I like you because that"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3205.12,"endTime":3212.38,"body":"that guy was known by no one,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3213.1,"endTime":3217.66,"body":"and believed that if anybody"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3213.1,"endTime":3217.66,"body":"knew what was inside of him,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3218.08,"endTime":3221.94,"body":"that not only would people not"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3218.08,"endTime":3221.94,"body":"love him, but people would not"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3221.94,"endTime":3225.48,"body":"like him. And I'm an Enneagram"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3221.94,"endTime":3225.48,"body":"too, and so I live to be liked,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3226.08,"endTime":3230.22,"body":"and I think, I think that would"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3226.08,"endTime":3230.22,"body":"touch him deeply."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3231.84,"endTime":3234.0,"body":"That's good."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3231.84,"endTime":3234.0,"body":"Anything you've been reading or"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3234.0,"endTime":3235.38,"body":"watching lately, you could"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3234.0,"endTime":3235.38,"body":"recommend."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3236.52,"endTime":3239.28,"body":"I've been"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3236.52,"endTime":3239.28,"body":"reading books by Simon Tugwell,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3239.28,"endTime":3243.86,"body":"who is a Catholic. I believe"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3239.28,"endTime":3243.86,"body":"he's a Franciscan, and he died"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3243.86,"endTime":3249.62,"body":"in the early 70s, and he wrote a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3243.86,"endTime":3249.62,"body":"book on the Beatitudes, and it's"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3249.62,"endTime":3252.08,"body":"just all about like when you"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3249.62,"endTime":3252.08,"body":"started describing the world"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3252.08,"endTime":3256.94,"body":"that Mary came into. It"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3252.08,"endTime":3256.94,"body":"describes the world and the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3256.94,"endTime":3261.16,"body":"availability of the kingdom to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3256.94,"endTime":3261.16,"body":"the poor in spirit into those in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3261.16,"endTime":3265.84,"body":"the Beatitudes. I'm constantly"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3261.16,"endTime":3265.84,"body":"reading Dallas Willard. I'm"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3265.84,"endTime":3271.42,"body":"mostly reading my own book to"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3265.84,"endTime":3271.42,"body":"try to be more and more"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3271.42,"endTime":3274.18,"body":"articulate, because it was we"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3271.42,"endTime":3274.18,"body":"finished it over a year ago, and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3274.18,"endTime":3276.64,"body":"I'm going back. Going, I teach"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3274.18,"endTime":3276.64,"body":"this stuff all the time, but I"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3276.64,"endTime":3281.26,"body":"actually want to remember some"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3276.64,"endTime":3281.26,"body":"of the bullet points. But I also"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3281.44,"endTime":3285.54,"body":"just read a work of fiction, a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3281.44,"endTime":3285.54,"body":"novel called cloistered, which"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3285.6,"endTime":3289.38,"body":"interestingly, is the story of a"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3285.6,"endTime":3289.38,"body":"Carmelite nun who was cloistered"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3289.38,"endTime":3292.7400000000002,"body":"for 10 years and experienced"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3289.38,"endTime":3292.7400000000002,"body":"emotional and physical abuse in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3292.7400000000002,"endTime":3295.8,"body":"the convent, and that was the"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3292.7400000000002,"endTime":3295.8,"body":"same order of nuns that my aunt"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3295.86,"endTime":3298.32,"body":"was in. So I finished that in"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3295.86,"endTime":3298.32,"body":"about three days."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3298.62,"endTime":3301.58,"body":"Wow, that's"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3298.62,"endTime":3301.58,"body":"great. Thank you. How can people"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3301.58,"endTime":3304.22,"body":"go out and get sacred"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3301.58,"endTime":3304.22,"body":"attachment? And where else would"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3304.22,"endTime":3305.18,"body":"you like to point people"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3305.66,"endTime":3307.58,"body":"to? Oh,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3305.66,"endTime":3307.58,"body":"thank you. Sacred attachment is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3307.58,"endTime":3312.32,"body":"available January 7. Not sure"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3307.58,"endTime":3312.32,"body":"what the broadcast date for this"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3312.32,"endTime":3315.62,"body":"conversation will be, but"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3312.32,"endTime":3315.62,"body":"January 7, 2025 it's available"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3315.62,"endTime":3319.22,"body":"Amazon, Barnes and Nobles,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3315.62,"endTime":3319.22,"body":"Christian booksellers, anywhere"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3319.22,"endTime":3322.36,"body":"online where fine books are"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3319.22,"endTime":3322.36,"body":"sold, as they used to say. And"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3322.36,"endTime":3325.2400000000002,"body":"then the ministry that I work"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3322.36,"endTime":3325.2400000000002,"body":"out of is in Denver, Colorado,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3325.2400000000002,"endTime":3328.2400000000002,"body":"called restoring the soul. We do"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3325.2400000000002,"endTime":3328.2400000000002,"body":"intensive counseling with"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3328.2400000000002,"endTime":3331.48,"body":"couples and individuals, where"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3328.2400000000002,"endTime":3331.48,"body":"people meet here for two weeks,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3331.48,"endTime":3333.82,"body":"three hours a day, to get"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3331.48,"endTime":3333.82,"body":"unstuck from trauma and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3333.82,"endTime":3338.32,"body":"relational difficulties and"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3333.82,"endTime":3338.32,"body":"compulsions. And our website is"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3338.32,"endTime":3341.52,"body":"restoring the soul.com, we've"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3338.32,"endTime":3341.52,"body":"got a podcast, a bunch of other"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3341.52,"endTime":3343.38,"body":"free resources there. So check"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3341.52,"endTime":3343.38,"body":"this out."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3344.16,"endTime":3345.78,"body":"Perfect. Well,"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3344.16,"endTime":3345.78,"body":"Michael, thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3345.78,"endTime":3349.32,"body":"this conversation. It was"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3345.78,"endTime":3349.32,"body":"fantastic. I really, truly wish"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3349.32,"endTime":3353.04,"body":"I could talk to you for another"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3349.32,"endTime":3353.04,"body":"three, four hours. And there's a"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3353.04,"endTime":3357.78,"body":"lot of incredible things, but"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3353.04,"endTime":3357.78,"body":"figuring out, how do we actually"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3357.78,"endTime":3361.22,"body":"embody this love of God? How do"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3357.78,"endTime":3361.22,"body":"we get to this place? Place"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3361.22,"endTime":3365.3,"body":"where the belief system is not"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3361.22,"endTime":3365.3,"body":"just in our head, but we could"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3365.3,"endTime":3368.9,"body":"actually move across the delta"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3365.3,"endTime":3368.9,"body":"into a place of embodied"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3368.9,"endTime":3372.26,"body":"experience with God, that we"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3368.9,"endTime":3372.26,"body":"could receive this attachment so"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3372.26,"endTime":3376.16,"body":"that we could be seen and"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3372.26,"endTime":3376.16,"body":"soothed into a place of knowing"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3376.16,"endTime":3382.48,"body":"that we are beloved, that we are"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3376.16,"endTime":3382.48,"body":"loved, and we can be held in the"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3382.48,"endTime":3386.86,"body":"love of God, which is"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3382.48,"endTime":3386.86,"body":"incredible. And so thank you for"},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3386.86,"endTime":3390.46,"body":"this conversation. I loved it."},{"speaker":"Joshua Johnson","startTime":3386.86,"endTime":3390.46,"body":"Thank you, Joshua,"},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3391.3,"endTime":3391.9,"body":"bless you."},{"speaker":"Michael John Cusick","startTime":3391.3,"endTime":3391.9,"body":"You."}]}